This Time Around
by Disneydoll0424
Summary: Hermione Granger travels back in time and meets up with the Marauders. She finds out that changing the past can have unexpected consequences for the future. HGRL COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well I'm told it's a sort of rite of passage for every HP fanfic writer to write their first time travel piece. I've tried to stay away from clichéd ideas wherever possible. I loved the idea behind this story and I had to write it. Hopefully you all will enjoy it too. Please read and review. For those of you who aren't writers, you have no idea how invaluable all kinds of feedback are, both positive and negative. For those of you who are writers, you know better, shame on you if you don't review.

Hermione Granger adjusted the strap of her school bag to alleviate the pressure on her shoulders. She had just finished double Arithmancy and was looking forward to a nice quiet evening with Harry and Ron. She thought their fifth year had been tough, but as it turned out, it was mere child's play in comparison to their seventh. She trudged up the long staircase on her way to Gryffindor tower when she felt the familiar lurch that signaled a moving staircase.

Hermione groaned. She was too tired to play with the staircases tonight. She hurried up the staircase she was on and turned to make her way up the left one, but it shifted just as she was about to jump on. With an exasperated sigh she turned right. At the top of this staircase the same thing happened and at the top of the next it happened again. Finally, Hermione was staring at a door at what she thought was the seventh floor. She was about to turn and make her way back down the staircase she had just come up when it moved away. She had no choice but to go through the door. She opened the door and glimpsed down a long corridor, with another door at the end. An overwhelming sense of curiosity gripped her.

"I think Harry and Ron have been a bad influence on me," she muttered to herself as she made her way down to the end of the corridor. Over the door was writing in a language she couldn't make out. _Tsap strawgoh seil rood siht hguorht_. She opened the door cautiously but could see nothing past its black expanse. "Lumos," she whispered and immediately her wand lit. She held out her wand in front of her and stepped into the room. All at once the door slammed behind her and her wand went out and Hermione knew no more.

Hermione felt rather than saw a presence standing over her. She jerked her head up and collided with something hard. "Ow!" a voice cried. Hermione blinked against the stars in her eyes and glimpsed a black haired bespectacled boy, sprawled on his back side a few feet in front of her.

"Harry, you scared me half to death. What do you mean by standing over me like that?" Hermione rubbed her forehead where she felt the beginnings of a lump.

"I was trying to figure out if you were ok," came back an unfamiliar voice. "And my names not Harry. It's James, James Potter."

"James," Hermione whispered in awe. She jumped to her feet, her whole body tingling with fright. "It can't be." She immediately regretted standing up so fast. Her head was spinning. James jumped to his feet too, steadying Hermione.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "I think so."

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but who are you?"

"My name's Hermione Gr..., uh Hermione," she finished lamely. If this was really James Potter, Hermione knew she would have to be careful what she said. She racked her brain, but even with all the information she had crammed into it, she was at a loss to explain what was going on. She needed help.

"You're wearing Gryffindor robes," observed James.

Hermione glanced down at herself and pulled at her collar uncomfortably. "Umm… Yeah I…" Panic began to well up in Hermione and she began to have trouble breathing.

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital wing," James said, noticing how pale she was getting.

"No, I'm ok," she said, taking a deep breath.And then the obvious occured to her. "Dumbledore, I need to see Dumbledore."

"Ok, I'll take you." James took Hermione's arm and walked her down the corridor. They reached the entrance to the Headmaster's office and James said, "Fizzing Whizbee's."

Whenthey reached his office they spotted Dumbledore sitting at a desk looking over a stack of parchment. He selected a lemon drop from a dish in front of him and popped it into his mouth.

"Excuse me, Professor."

Dumbledore looked up smiling, "Yes, Mr. Potter."

James led Hermione into the room. "This is Hermione," he began. "I found her upstairs."

If Dumbledore was surprised he didn't show it. He regarded Hermione seriously. "Are you visiting a student here? I wasn't aware that anyone was having any visitors this week."

"No, um… I… could I speak to you privately, sir?" Hermione asked timidly shooting a sideways glance at James.

Taking the hint, James moved toward the door, "I'll just wait outside," he said.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore said. "Please close the door."

Hermione waited until the door closed then gripped the edges of the Headmaster's desk. "Sir, I need your help." She was beginning to feel panic rising up her body.

He nodded, "please sit." He said waving his wand and literally drawing up a chair. She sat and he waited.

"I don't know where to begin," she said.

"It is generally best to start at the beginning."

She took a deep breath and told Dumbledore everything she could remember. Dumbledore didn't say anything for a few minutes. He was quiet so long that Hermione burst out. "You do believe me, don't you professor?"

"I do," he said simply. Hermione must have looked taken aback because he continued. "I am a sufficiently accomplished Legilimens. I would be able to tell if you were lying."

"Oh please sir, how am I supposed to get back?" She asked.

"Well that is the question. I will have to give it some serious thought. Until then…"

"You mean you don't know how to send me back," Hermione interrupted.

"I'm afraid not, Miss…"

"Granger."

"Miss Granger. Until I can find a way to send you back, you'll have to stay here. I see that you're a Gryffindor," he said pointing at her robe. "I'll explain your situation to your Head of House, Professor McGonagall and have Mr. Potter escort you to Gryffindor tower."

This wasn't at all what Hermione wanted to hear. She was so certain that Dumbledore would be able to send her back to her own time. "One more thing Miss Granger. Please do not discuss your situation with anyone else. It would be best if the students believed you were an exchange student to avoid awkward questions."

"Yes sir." Hermione said.

Dumbledore stood up. "Please don't worry, Miss Granger. Everything will be all right. Just keep in mind that even the smallest information about the future told to the wrong person could change things. You must be careful."

"I understand, sir."

Meanwhile outside of Dumbledore's office, James leaned casually against the wall hoping to catch a bit of information. He wasn't really a malicious eavesdropper. He just had an overabundant sense of curiosity. It was a family characteristic and it is certain that James wouldn't be the last Potter afflicted with it.

He wasn't having much luck with his latest covert operation. He inclined his head more toward the door and listened intently. He didn't notice the three boys who strolled around the corner and quietly crept up on him.

"What ya doing, James," said the tallest boy loudly.

James jumped and whirled around. "Sirius, you scared the hell out of me," James shouted. The three boys snickered.

"Well, what are you doing skulking around Dumbledore's office?" Sirius asked.

"I was waiting for someone."

"Who?" Asked the short round boy called Peter.

"Just some girl," James mumbled going red in the face.

"Oooh, don't tell Lily," giggled Peter.

"Shut it," said James and all the boys snickered again. "It's not like that. She's new or something. I found her upstairs unconscious and brought her to Dumbledore."

The rest of the boy's curiosity was peaked, but before they could ask further questions the door to Dumbledore's office opened.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew. Seeing as you're all here, I wonder if you wouldn't mind escorting Miss Granger to Gryffindor tower. She will be staying with us for awhile as a visiting exchange student in the seventh year dormitories."

"Yes, sir," the boys said eagerly. They were all curious about this new girl.

"And please see that she makes it to dinner as well." Professor Dumbledore said. "Oh and Mr. Lupin, please meet me in front of my office after dinner."

"Yes, sir," said a slight brown haired boy who looked a bit pale.

Hermione turned and looked at Remus Lupin and was startled to see a younger version of one of her favorite professors. His face was smooth, but pale and his robes weren't ragged. She caught his eye and smiled shyly. He averted his gaze with a pained expression on his face. Hermione was willing to bet that there was a full moon tonight. A covert grin between James and the boy who she knew had to be Sirius confirmed her suspicion.

Hermione was beginning to feel excited. It might be cool to hang out with Harry's dad and Godfather for a bit. She could report back to Harry everything she found out when she got back to her own time. 'If you get back,' a nagging voice in the back of her brain said.

When they reached the Gryffindor common room, James stood at the bottom of the girls stairway and bellowed, "Lily, come down here." A beautiful girl with dark auburn hair and striking green eyes, Harry's eyes, came bounding down the staircase.

"My God James, do you have to shout like that every time you want me to come down?"

"Yes," said James simply. "The last time I tried to get you myself that staircase pitched me back down."

The three boys and Lily snickered and even Hermione had to grin remembering a time two years ago when Ron had tried the exact same thing.

"We wanted to introduce you to Hermione. She's an exchange student from…"

"Beauxbaton," Hermione said, providing the first name that came into her head.

"She's a seventh year like us so she'll be staying in your dorm room."

"It's nice to meet you," said Lily extending her hand.

"Nice to meet you too," Hermione returned, shaking the offered hand.

"Hadn't we ought to be heading for dinner," piped up Peter.

"Yeah, I'm starved," said Sirius, clapping Peter on the back and leading the way out the door. James took Lily's hand and the two followed leaving Hermione to walk with Remus.

"So, you're from Beauxbaton?" Remus asked.

"Yeah."

"You don't sound French."

"I'm not. I'm English. Born just outside of London."

"Then why were you going to Beauxbaton?"

Hermione thought quickly. "My mother is friends with the headmistress."

"Oh." They walked in silence for awhile. "So umm…" Remus stuttered. "What classes are you taking?"

Hermione grinned. "Practically all of them. Everything except Divination and Muggle Studies."

"Really," said Remus smiling for the first time? "Same here. Which is your favorite?"

"That's easy, Arithmancy."

"The hardest," he said admiringly. "Mine's Defense against the Dark Arts." They reached the dining hall and sat without skipping a beat in their conversation. "What made you decide not to take Divination and Muggle Studies?" Remus asked.

"I did try them during my third year, but the schedule was so overwhelming that I dropped them. Besides," continued Hermione, not wanting to sound lazy. "Our Divination teacher was a bit of an old fraud and since I'm Muggle born, Muggle Studies was a bit unnecessary."

"Muggle born?" Remus questioned. "I thought you said your mum was old friends with the Headmistress of Beauxbaton."

Hermione reddened. 'Damn it,' she thought. 'I'm going to have to keep all the lies straight in my head.' "She was," she said slowly. "I meant I'm half Muggle. My dad's a Muggle."

"Oh." Remus wasn't convinced, 'but perhaps,' he thought 'she has a secret.' And he himself was no stranger to secrets.

Dinner went on uneventfully mostly because Hermione was enjoying listening to the four marauders laughing and joking and generally trying to amuse Lily and herself. At the end of dinner Remus got up and mumbled that he had to meet Dumbledore. As he walked past, James grabbed his arm and whispered, "see ya later, Moony." Remus returned the grin and strolled out of the Dining Hall. Peter, Sirius, and James hurriedly finished their pie and got up almost in unison and practically ran out of the Dining Hall. Lily turned to Hermione and smiled shyly, "shall we go up," she asked. Hermione nodded, feeling thoroughly exhausted from the long eventful day.

The next morning Hermione woke to find clean robes at the foot of her bed. She and Lily dressed and went down to breakfast. James, Sirius, and Peter were staring bleary eyed at their breakfast, none of them eating very much. Lily took the available seat next to James and Hermione sat next to Peter.

For the first time Hermione looked closely at the marauders. She had seen pictures of Harry's father, but they really didn't do him justice. She now completely understood why everyone who was introduced to Harry commented on how much he looked like his father. The resemblance was striking. Even the way he carried himself reminded her of Harry.

Sirius was somewhat different than what she would have expected. There was no trace of the deadened expression twelve years in Azkaban had left in his eyes. The seventeen–year-old Sirius reminded Hermione of Bill Weasley in the way that he seemed to just radiate coolness. The younger Sirius, though it caused her to blush to think it, was extremely handsome.

Peter was another surprise. Though she had only seen him for an hour or so during her third year, she could still recollect every feature. The boy sitting in front of her didn't have the sunken terrified look of his future self. He looked young and small. About the only thing that remained the same was the slightly elongated nose. She wondered what choices he would make in the next few years that would turn him into a traitor and murderer. The boy in front of her didn't look like he had the nerve to kill a fly.

As they were eating, the mail arrived in usual Hogwart's fashion. Hermione was surprised when a tawny owl landed in front of her. She took the note tied to the owl's leg and read:

Miss Granger,

Please accompany your fellow Gryffindor seventh years to Charms and Potions today. Copies of your needed texts are in your dorm room. As we don't know how long you will be staying with us, please provide me with a complete list of the classes you are taking and I will see that you get all the appropriate materials.

Professor A. Dumbledore.

Hermione turned to see Sirius glancing at the parchment. She quickly folded it over and said, "can I borrow a quill?" Sirius pulled one out of his bag and handed it to her with a smile. Hermione thanked him thinking what a different smile it was from the one she remembered. The smile she remembered never quite reached his eyes. A small chill ran through her when she remembered that in her time James and Sirius were dead, Peter was a murderer and Remus was a mere shell of a man. She shook the unpleasant thoughts from her head and drank the last bit of her orange juice and stood up to go. She had to go back to the dorm room to get her books. "See you guys in Charms," she said as she ran off.

"But you don't even know where it is," Lily called to her retreating back.

"She seems nice," Sirius said to Lily once Hermione had gone.

"She is," answered Lily. "I like her already. I thought we could invite her to hang out with us at Hogsmeade tomorrow."

"I don't know Lily," said James. "We have to be careful who we let hang out with us. Anyway, Remus will be back and he's usually tired after."

"You worry too much," Sirius said. "She's kinda cute, even if her hair is a bit mad. I wouldn't mind taking a stroll with her through Hogsmeade."

"I'm not worried," said James. "I just have a weird feeling about her. She was just lying in the middle of the floor when I found her and why would she all of a sudden transfer to Hogwarts. It doesn't make any sense."

"I don't care," said Lily. "I'm going to ask her and if you guys don't want to join us, then fine.

Sirius laughed. "Yeah right, like James will be able to spend a whole day away from you." James punched him in the shoulder and the four friends got up and went to Charms.

The day went fairly smoothly. Hermione was beginning to feel comfortable around the Marauders and Lily. Harry's mother was one of the kindest people Hermione had ever met.

Remus never made it to any classes that day. When he finally did come back to Gryffindor tower, Hermione was the only one left in the common room. She was trying to finish a three roll essay for Potions.

"Hi," said Hermione.

"Hi," said Remus.

"You look tired."

"I'm ok," he said. "What are you doing up so late?"

"My potions essay. It's due Monday."

"Don't remind me. I haven't even started." He said flopping down on the couch.

"I could help you with it later," Hermione offered.

"Ok, thanks."

"We can work on it tomorrow night if you want. Right now I think you ought to go to bed."

"I'm ok," he said through a yawn. "I'll keep you company until you go up."

"Suit yourself," said Hermione smiling and returning to her essay. A few minutes later she glanced up and saw Remus stretched out on the couch fast asleep. She stood up and grabbed a throw that was lying on an armchair near the fire. She draped it over him pulling it up to just under his chin. As she did this, her hand brushed his cheek. It was soft and smooth. She sat back in her chair staring at him. She wondered if the lines that seemed to define the face of his older self were the results of years of living as a werewolf or the trauma of losing his three best friends in the span of twenty-four hours.

Hermione gathered all her books and rolls of parchment and went up to bed, but didn't fall asleep right away. She lay in bed wide awake for hours. Mostly she thought about Harry. In the year and a half since Sirius had died he had been a different person. She and Ron had had many conversations about the change in him but any time they tried to talk to him about it he changed the subject or denied anything was wrong.

Another change, even more alarming than his depressed moods, was his sudden academic drive. Hermione could remember when she would have to nag both boys into doing their homework. Now, Harry approached schoolwork with a zeal that surpassed even Hermione's, especially in Defense against the Dark Arts. He was studying things no other Hogwarts student studied. He had even surpassed some of their professors in his knowledge of the subject.

Once during a summer stay at the Weasley's after their sixth year, Ron and Hermione heard Mrs. Weasley remark to her husband that Harry had seemed to have left his childhood behind in the Department of Mysteries.

Lying in her bed, Hermione cried thinking of all her best friend had suffered and all her new friends would suffer and for the first time she began to contemplate the possibility of stopping the horror before it happened.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Hermione was extremely tired. She had tossed and turned all night debating with herself. She knew on an intellectual level that what she was thinking was completely insane, but her heart was telling her other things. The problem she finally concluded at around four in the morning was that she was in real danger of becoming emotionally attached to Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and even Peter. The solution, she told herself, was to limit her contact with them as much as possible. So when Lily asked if she was ready to go to Hogsmeade the next morning. Hermione told her she had stayed up late studying and she was too tired to go. Lily looked very disappointed as she walked down to join the boys.  
  
Hermione stayed in the dorm room until everyone had gone and then made her way downstairs. She didn't want to spend the whole day cooped up in Gryffindor Tower, nor was she really in the mood to be around people. Hermione thought she might go see if Dumbledore had made any progress on sending her back to her own time.  
  
As she walked down the first floor corridor, Hermione received a shock. She could hear an unmistakably familiar voice around the corner.  
  
"He was gone again," said the oily voice of Severus Snape. "Where does Lupin go every month?"  
  
Hermione gasped.  
  
"Who knows," said another voice.  
  
"I'll tell you who knows, Rodolphus," said Snape. "Potter, Black, that little wimp Pettigrew, and that mudblood Evans."  
  
"Not to mention Dumbledore," said an icy female voice that chilled Hermione to the soul. She couldn't remember how, but she knew that voice was familiar.  
  
"Well, Black is your cousin, Bellatrix. Why don't you just ask him." Said the boy Snape had called Rodolphus.  
  
"He's no cousin of mine," snapped Bellatrix. "My aunt disowned him when he left home last summer. He's living with those mudblood lover's the Potter's."  
  
"I say it's time to teach those traitors a lesson," said another voice.  
  
"I think you're right, Avery," said Snape. "They're in Hogsmeade. Maybe we should pay them a visit." There was laughter and Hermione could hear them walking away.  
  
Hermione stood shaking as she recalled something Sirius had told them in their fourth year. Snape had been part of a group of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters.  
  
Hermione knew she should try and head them off and warn James and the others, but she couldn't move. She kept telling herself over and over, 'I can't change the course of the future. All of this has already happened in my past. If I try to change the future, I could change Harry's past.' Then Hermione wondered if that would be so bad. What would Harry think when she came back and told him she hadn't warned his parents of their fate? He had lost almost every person he had ever loved and she could change that all. She could give Harry back his parents. She could save them all.  
  
Hermione began to run down the corridor and out of the front of the castle towards Hogsmeade. If she was going to save Harry's parents from their future then she might as well start now.  
  
By the time she had reached Hogsmeade, Hermione had a horrible stitch in her side and couldn't see James's gang or Snape's gang anywhere.  
  
"Where are they," she said to herself and then she spotted Snape. Except that he was younger and a bit skinnier, he looked exactly the same. He was flanked by four guys and a girl all in Slytherin robes. She couldn't see any of the Marauder's or Lily yet, but she knew they must be close. She stayed several feet behind the group keeping an eye out for her friends.  
  
They walked past Zonko's into the Three Broomsticks. Hermione didn't follow them. She knew they wouldn't try anything if they ran into them in the Three Broomsticks.  
  
Past the Three Broomsticks, Hermione saw the Shrieking Shack and hanging on the fence around it were James, Lily, Sirius, Peter, and Remus. The five of them were laughing and she was struck, in particular, with Remus's face. She remembered how he had told her that this had been the happiest time in his life.  
  
He was remarkably handsome when he laughed. The look of decency and kindness seemed to be infused in his very person. Hermione was gazing so intently on Remus that she didn't notice the Slytherins leave the Three Broomsticks and spot their targets.  
  
The six Slytherins all raised their wands and took aim. Hermione saw them seconds before they cast their spells and screamed. "Watch out!"  
  
All at once James pushed Lily down and Remus and Sirius pulled out their wands. Two spells flew over James and Lily. Another spell hit Remus and knocked him off his feet. The fourth spell hit Peter, who was fumbling for his wand, right in the chest. He fell with a thump to the floor and didn't move. Sirius managed to perform the shield charm and deflected two spells that had been shot at him.  
  
Hermione pulled out her wand and yelled, "Petrificus Totalus." She managed to hit three Slytherins before one of them turned and shot a spell at her.  
  
It hit her and she was thrown back into the tree she had previously been hiding behind. Hermione felt all the breath leave her body and she fell at the base of the tree gasping for air.  
  
Seeing three of their companions down the remaining Slytherins turned and ran back towards the castle. Remus, seeing Hermione down, picked himself up and ran toward her. "Are you ok?" He asked kneeling in front of her.  
  
She could only nod taking slow deep breaths.  
  
"Do you think you can stand up?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah," she said and took his offered hand. The feeling was electric. She stared into his eyes and whispered, "thank you."  
  
"Is she all right, Remus," called Sirius as he performed the counter-jinx on Peter and pulled him to his feet.  
  
Remus didn't answer he was staring at his and Hermione's joined hands.  
  
"Oy, Remus," Sirius yelled.  
  
Remus was jolted from his fog. "Yeah, she's ok," he answered. He looped his arm around Hermione's, helping her up and walked back to the Shrieking Shack.  
  
"Are you guys ok," Hermione asked?  
  
"Damn that Snape," Sirius growled kicking the fence. "He's going to regret the day he messed with us."  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't warn you sooner," Hermione said. "I just got distracted."  
  
"Are you kidding," Remus said. "You knocked three of those morons out before they knew what hit them. That was amazing!"  
  
Hermione blushed, "I wasn't fast enough."  
  
James walked over to where the three Slytherins were lying and kicked one over. "That's Rosier, and the other two are Wilkes and Avery. I say we drag them behind the Shrieking Shack and let them stay there until someone finds them."  
  
"James, we can't do that." Said Lily. "They could be out here all night."  
  
"So what, they deserve it," retorted James.  
  
"It's only going to make matters worse. I don't know why you guys can't just let this damn feud go."  
  
"Lily, they started it," yelled James.  
  
"So be the bigger person and finish it."  
  
"Don't worry, I will. Snivellus and his little minions are going to pay for this."  
  
"James Potter, this has been going on since first year. When are you going to grow up?"  
  
"Hey Lily, that's harsh," Sirius snapped.  
  
"Shut up, Sirius," said Lily blinking back tears. "The whole lot of you need to grow up." Then Lily turned and stormed off towards the castle.  
  
James shot an angry look at her retreating back and turned in the other direction and stomped off followed by Sirius and Peter, leaving Remus and Hermione alone.  
  
The two of them sighed simultaneously and then looked at each other and laughed lightly. "Well, there's never a dull moment at Hogwarts," said Remus. "Should we head back?" He asked Hermione.  
  
"If you want to," Hermione replied. She was beginning to feel nervous holding onto his arm.  
  
"I'm kind of tired of being cooped up," he said. "I can show you around Hogsmeade. Have you ever been before?"  
  
"No," Hermione lied.  
  
"It's a really cool place. It's one of the only wizarding communities left in Britain."  
  
Hermione could only nod. For some reason she was only aware of the feel of his arm around hers.  
  
Remus frowned down at her. "Maybe I should take you back to the castle. You did get hit pretty hard."  
  
Hermione pulled her arm free of his. "No. I'm fine. I think I just need to sit down for a bit."  
  
"Why don't we go to The Three Broomsticks?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
They walked into The Three Broomsticks and Remus made Hermione sit while he got drinks. Hermione's heart was beating wildly as she sat. "I will not get a crush on Remus Lupin," she scolded herself under her breath. "I'm not staying here and when I get back, he'll be an old man." She snickered to herself. Remus was not even forty in her time. Hardly an old man by anyone's standards.  
  
"What's so funny," Remus asked as he returned clutching two butterbeers.  
  
"Oh nothing, I was just thinking about my friends back home," she said still smiling.  
  
"What are they like?" He asked sitting down next to her.  
  
"They're great. You guys remind me a lot of them. Especially James, he's a lot like Harry."  
  
"Harry? Is he your boyfriend?" Remus asked staring at his mug.  
  
Hermione smiled. "No. He's just a friend, one of my best friends. In fact, he and Ron are probably the two most important people in my life."  
  
"I know what you mean," Remus said. "I feel the same way about James, Sirius, and Peter."  
  
"I know," said Hermione softly.  
  
"You know?" Remus asked.  
  
"You can just tell," she returned quickly.  
  
They sat silently for a few minutes. Then Remus cleared his throat uncomfortably and said, "so how did you know those guys were going to attack us?"  
  
"I overheard them talking back in the castle," said Hermione.  
  
"Yeah, what did they say?"  
  
"Snape just said that he wondered where you go every month and that he was going to teach you mudblood lovers a lesson." And then she rushed on before she could stop herself. "Where did you go yesterday?" For some reason she wanted him to trust her with his secret.  
  
"It's not a secret," he said. "My mother isn't well and sometimes I have to go home and see her."  
  
Hermione nodded. What else could she expect, she thought to herself. He's known me a whole two days.  
  
They sat talking for hours. People came and went from The Three Broomsticks, but Hermione and Remus hardly seemed aware. They talked about school, their parents, and their pasts, or more accurately, his past. Hermione felt a connection to Remus that she had never felt before, not even with Ron or Harry.  
  
She and Remus were the same, both intellectual, both unceasingly loyal to their friends, and now they both knew what it was to have a secret eating at them from the inside.  
  
Finally, when all the other Hogwarts students had left and it was beginning to get dark, Remus and Hermione went back to the castle. They were just in time for dinner.  
  
Lily was not there and neither was James. Sirius and Peter were whispering at the end of the long table. When Hermione and Remus reached them they stopped talking abruptly, but neither asked what they had been saying. They each figured that Sirius and Peter just didn't want to say what they were talking about in front of Hermione.  
  
The days and weeks passed and Hermione was settling into her new life. Dumbledore still hadn't been able to come up with a way to send her back, but with all her schoolwork and her developing friendships with Lily, James, Sirius, Peter, and especially Remus, she barely had time to care.  
  
Before she knew it, it was time for another of Remus's "visits" to his mother. The day before the full moon Remus came to see Hermione.  
  
"I have to go see my mother again," he said.  
  
Hermione put on a concerned expression. "Is she ok?"  
  
"Oh yeah," he said. "Just a bit under the weather. Anyway, just thought I'd let you know that I'd be gone."  
  
"Thanks," she said. "I'll see you when you get back."  
  
Remus left after dinner and Hermione and the rest of the Marauders walked back to Gryffindor tower. Lily and James seemed to have made up, but their relationship seemed strained by the previous month's attack. Lily spent a good deal of her time in the library.  
  
The friends sat playing exploding snap for a while before Hermione decided to turn in. She went up to the girls dormitory with the idea to get a few chapters read out of her Herbology book, when she remembered that she had left it downstairs. With a sigh, she headed back downstairs, but paused at the bottom step when she heard Peter speaking.  
  
"This is going to be great. Snape will never know what hit him."  
  
"Yeah," said Sirius. "This will teach him never to mess with Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail, and Moony." Sirius laughed. "Snivellus will take one look at him and piss himself." Peter joined in the raucous laughter. "He'll haul his ass out of there and that'll teach him to stop snooping around after Moony."  
  
Hermione stood taking it all in and shaking with anger. She had forgotten this was going to happen. She was furious with Sirius. He had no idea what the repercussions to his stupid practical joke were going to have on all their lives. Snape was going to see Lupin again and almost be killed and then he would take it out on Harry every chance he got.  
  
Hermione couldn't let it happen again. Snape hated James, she knew that, but maybe if she could stop it, he wouldn't feel the need to take it out on Harry.  
  
Hermione flew down the remaining stairs and stood in front of Sirius and Peter. "When did you tell him to go," she asked, staring accusingly at Sirius.  
  
The guys looked shocked to see her. "I don't know what you're talking about Hermione," said Sirius.  
  
"Stop playing dumb. When did you tell Snape to go to the Whomping Willow?"  
  
Neither of the boys spoke.  
  
"Damn it. Tell me. You have no idea the trouble this is going to cause."  
  
Again neither spoke. Hermione turned and looked to Peter. "I know James is going to save him, but he gets there too late. We have to stop it from happening now. I won't let it happen again."  
  
"What are you talking about," said Peter timidly. "You're not making any sense."  
  
"I'm talking about your stupid joke on Snape. Lily's right. He doesn't deserve this."  
  
"Of course he does," said Sirius vindictively.  
  
Hermione whirled around and for the second time in her life, she was so full of rage that she hit someone. Sirius felt the slap before he even saw it coming. "And does Remus deserve for everyone to know he's a werewolf?"  
  
There was deathly silence in the room and then Sirius said quietly, "how the hell did you know that?" 


	3. Chapter 3

"How the hell did you know that," breathed Sirius.  
  
But Hermione was no longer listening. She turned on her heel and ran out of the common room. She ran all the way to the Whomping Willow and panned the school grounds, but couldn't see Snape anywhere.  
  
Then a horrible thought occurred to Hermione, maybe he was already down there. Maybe James wasn't going to do what he had always been meant to do. Maybe her mere presence had somehow changed the future without her meaning to.  
  
Hermione knew she was going to have to make sure Snape wasn't down there. She searched for a stick to prod the notch on the Whomping Willow so it wouldn't attack her. There was one a few feet within the trees reach. She darted to it and then lunged out of the way of a swinging branch. She jumped in and out of the swinging branches and just as she was about to prod the notch, a particularly long branch swiped and hit her shoulder. She fell backwards and the stick flew from her hand. Thinking quickly, Hermione whipped out her wand and lunged at the tree reaching the base and stabbing the notch.  
  
Immediately, the tree stopped swinging and Hermione could see the opening. She quickly jumped down into the hole and crawled to the bottom. She lit her wand with a faint, "lumos," then scanned as far as she could into the tunnel, but her wand light wouldn't penetrate too far into the darkness.  
  
"Snape, are you in here?" Stooping low, she stopped a few feet in. "I don't remember the tunnel being this small in third year," she said to herself. "Then again, I was a bit shorter back then."  
  
Step by step she inched deeper into the hole straining to listen. Her heart was beating wildly and she was beginning to have second thoughts about going any further. "Damn it all to hell," she said a little too loudly. Hermione wished desperately that Harry and Ron were with her. She had been in many dangerous situations before, but she had always been with them. Somehow being alone only made the danger that much more real to her.  
  
She glanced back toward the entrance of the tunnel. "James, where are you," she whispered? Then she heard a loud growl and what she thought was a muffled scream. "Snape," she called, and then with more resolve than courage she rushed further into the tunnel. She couldn't let anything happen to Snape no matter how much she disliked him. If he wasn't around, Harry would be dead before first year was over.  
  
She was nearly to the end of the tunnel when her wand light fell on an enormous form. The only other time Hermione had ever seen Remus in werewolf form was during third year and as scary as that had been it was nowhere near as chilling as seeing him framed in the small tunnel, lit by the faint glow of her wand tip.  
  
Hermione couldn't move. The werewolf Remus bared his teeth and approached painfully slowly. The he lowered his whole body as if prepared to pounce. Hermione screamed and covered her face. All of a sudden she felt arms wrap around her waist and was thrown against the wall. Then she felt an enormous something with hair push past her.  
  
"Come on, we have to get out of here," came James's voice near her ear. Hermione still couldn't move. Terror had made her immobile. James, whose arms were still wrapped around her waist, did his best to drag her backwards to the tunnel entrance. Hermione could hear growls and breaking glass from behind, but couldn't see anything. James, finally reaching the entranceway, pushed Hermione through and crawled out after her. He pulled her past the reach of the Whomping Willow and set her on the ground.  
  
"Peter," he called. Peter, who had been standing yards away from the tree, came running.  
  
"Stay with Hermione," commanded James. "I have to make sure Sirius is ok." Peter nodded obediently and knelt next to a shaking Hermione.  
  
James ran back to the hole and disappeared, but moments later he reappeared followed by Sirius. They ran from the tree, Sirius cradling a bleeding arm and flopped down on the ground next to Hermione and Peter, breathing heavily. Nobody spoke. They just stared at the now still tree.  
  
Finally Peter spoke. "James," he whispered tentatively. James looked up and Peter nodded at Hermione. She was shaking slightly, her breathing hitched, and staring blankly ahead.  
  
James pulled off his robe and wrapped it around Hermione. "Come on," he said tucking his head under her arm and pulling her to her feet. "We have to get her inside." He half carried Hermione all the way back to Gryffindor Tower and deposited her on one of the couches. The common room had long since been deserted.  
  
Sirius collapsed into a chair, still cradling his bleeding arm. Peter disappeared up the stairs to the boy's dormitory and returned quickly with a towel. He handed it to Sirius who wrapped it around his arm.  
  
"You didn't get bit, did you," asked James in concern?  
  
"Nah, just some broken glass," replied Sirius.  
  
"Good."  
  
James then pulled one of the comfy chairs in front of the couch Hermione was sitting in and looked at her, waiting. Hermione was no longer shaking, but she refused to meet his eyes. After a few minutes, James spoke, "Hermione." Hermione forced herself to meet his eyes, but didn't speak.  
  
"Hermione," he repeated. "How did you know?"  
  
She shook her head. "I can't."  
  
"You can't what?"  
  
"I promised I wouldn't."  
  
"Promised? Promised who?"  
  
"Bunbo," she mumbled.  
  
"Who," James repeated?  
  
She cleared her throat. "Dumbledore," she repeated more clearly.  
  
"I don't care who you promised," growled Sirius from his armchair. "I want to know how you knew about Remus."  
  
"I already told you I can't tell you," said Hermione loudly.  
  
"James was right. There's something wrong about you."  
  
"Sirius," said James warningly.  
  
"First," he continued ignoring James, "you come out of nowhere. James finds you unconscious on the floor and less than an hour later, you're a student. Then you act all chummy with Remus and then we find out you know his secret, when everyone in this room knows full well that he never told you." Sirius got up and advanced menacingly. "Who are you working for, The Daily Prophet?"  
  
"No," Hermione shouted.  
  
"Maybe she's working for Him."  
  
Sirius, James, and Hermione whipped around and stared at Peter. James and Sirius turned and stared wide eyed at Hermione. Hermione's face glowed with anger. She knew exactly who Peter was referring to.  
  
Hermione had spent a good deal of time in the library trying to figure out where Voldemort was and how much of a stronghold he had in this time. Unfortunately most of what was known about Voldemort was thought by the general public to be wild rumors. Hermione knew better. She had long ago read The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts. She knew Voldemort had already made inroads in the Ministry of Magic and his followers were already out recruiting. Sirius would know this, Hermione remembered with a jolt. His whole family was full of dark wizards.  
  
"How dare you," Hermione whispered, through barely concealed rage. "You of all people!" Before she even knew she had stood up, she was on top of Peter. "It's all your fault," she screamed. Peter was yelling and Sirius and James were trying to pull Hermione off him. "They're all dead because of you," she screamed. "It's all your fault. It's all your fault. You ruined his life. He lost everything because of you. You murderer," she spat.  
  
Finally, Sirius gave a heave and he fell back with Hermione on top of him. "James, go get some help." James turned and ran through the exit of the dorm.  
  
"I won't let you do it again," Hermione kept screaming.  
  
Noise was coming from all over Gryffindor Tower. Students began streaming from both the girls and boys side.  
  
"Sirius, what are you doing," yelled Lily emerging from the girls dorm pulling a robe around her body. "Let go of her." She bent down and pulled Hermione to a sitting position.  
  
"Lily, stay away from her. She's crazy," said Sirius.  
  
"I am not crazy," choked Hermione through a sob. Then she broke down, burying her head in Lily's shoulder. The Gryffindor's stood at a distance, buzzing with frenzied whispers. Lily wrapped her arms around Hermione protectively and then looked questioningly from Sirius to Peter and then back to Sirius.  
  
"Everybody please return to bed," came the voice of Dumbledore from the door. "Everyone except you four," he said pointing to Sirius, Peter, James, and Hermione. Lily looked reluctant to leave Hermione, but she knew she had to. She gave her a final squeeze and followed the rest of the Gryffindor girls back to bed.  
  
"Please explain what happened here tonight," said Dumbledore. Nobody said a word. "Miss Granger?" Hermione looked nervously at Dumbledore, but didn't speak. "Sirius, what happened to your arm?"  
  
"I cut it on some glass, sir," lied Sirius easily.  
  
"Is that all you have to say?"  
  
Sirius didn't answer. He looked down at his feet uncomfortably.  
  
"Boys," continued Dumbledore. "Please go to bed." James, Sirius, and Peter silently trudged up to bed leaving Hermione and Dumbledore alone.  
  
Dumbledore watched them head upstairs, waited a few moments, and then turned his attention back to Hermione. "Mr. Potter was quite adamant that you were in hysterics, but you seem relatively calm to me."  
  
"I am now, sir," she replied.  
  
"And what was it that put you out of sorts before."  
  
"I'd rather not say sir."  
  
"May I ask why?"  
  
"Because I couldn't tell you the whole truth and I don't want to mislead you."  
  
"Very well, I cannot force you. If that is all you have to say then I suggest you get to bed."  
  
"Umm... Please sir, I can't... I mean that is to say, have you found a way to send me home?"  
  
Dumbledore turned with a saddened expression. "That is a discussion best left 'til morning."  
  
"Professor, I can't stay here anymore," said Hermione desperately. "I should have told you, but I didn't want to risk altering the timeline. I know what's going to happen in the next five years to James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily. I think I changed something tonight and I'm afraid if I stay any longer I'll change more than I should. You have no idea how hard it is not to warn them all."  
  
Dumbledore took hold of one of Hermione's hands and led her to the couch. "I'm sorry Miss Granger, but I don't believe we'll ever be able to send you back."  
  
"What," whispered Hermione?  
  
"You are going to have to remain in this time."  
  
Hermione stared at him open mouthed.  
  
"Are you familiar with time turners, Miss Granger?"  
  
"Yes," Hermione said finding her voice. "I used one in my third year."  
  
"Then you're aware that you can go back in time, but you always have to allow time to catch up with you. Unfortunately, I have been unable to discover a way to reverse the process. I'm sorry. Your future is oddly enough in your past. But I must warn you against trying to change what you remembered. Things are meant to happen. You carry an awesome responsibility on your shoulders. Be wise and do not act out of emotion. Now, I know it will be difficult, but try and get some sleep. If you need someone to talk to, my office is always open to you." Dumbledore gave her one last penetrating stare and left.  
  
Hermione sat for a long time allowing the shock to pass over her. She was never going back. She would never see Ron or Harry again. She would never see her parents again. Everyone she ever loved was out of her reach forever. 'But you will see them,' a voice in the back of her head said, 'in just a few short years.'  
  
"Yes," she whispered to herself. "And this time, things will be different."  
  
Hermione never made it to bed that night. She stayed awake in the common room until about five in the morning and then left to take a walk. She walked down to the lake and could see Hagrid's cabin in the distance. She had seen Hagrid a few times wandering the grounds and attending his duties as Grounds Keeper. She hadn't gone up to him because she didn't want to risk anything. Now that she was stuck, one of the first things she wanted to do was reacquaint herself with him. Instead of cheering her, the idea only brought tears to her eyes. It wouldn't be the same. She had lost every friendship that had ever mattered to her. Hermione had never felt more completely alone.  
  
From her vantage point by the lake, Hermione could see Dumbledore approaching the Whomping Willow. He disappeared down the hole. About fifteen minutes later he emerged with a thoroughly exhausted Remus. She imagined it must take a lot out of him to transform. She wondered what the boys would tell him about the previous night.  
  
Suddenly, Hermione was too tired to care. She just wanted to be alone. She didn't want to face James, Sirius, Peter, Lily and especially Remus. She didn't want to have to deal with Professors or Dumbledore or anything.  
  
She decided to go back down into the Shrieking Shack. No one would look for her there. She managed to get past the Whomping Willow with ease. 'It probably gets easier with practice,' she thought to herself and slipped down into the tunnel for the second time in less than twelve hours, only this time she didn't feel overcome by fear. She made her way through the tunnel and into the shack. She scanned the room. There were bits of broken furniture everywhere and in the corner was the bed Ron had collapsed onto with his broken leg. The memory overwhelmed her and she dropped to the bed burying her face in the folds of the old worn comforter and sobbed. Some time later, she fell asleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers, Lalo, Mione Riddle/Malfoy, Becky, K.M. Grzechnik and especially Hearts for her two reviews. Keep em coming, they're lovely little bits of inspiration. Hope everyone enjoyed the latest chapter. 


	4. Chapter 4

Up in the hospital wing, Remus lay on one of the sterile hospital beds trying to sleep, but he couldn't. He was haunted by the previous night. Ever since his friends had become Animagi his monthly transformations had become bearable. He would usually be able to remember what happened during the night, but the scattered memories from the night before scared him.  
  
There had been someone in the shack with him, someone who was not one of his best friends. The person had smelled familiar, but he couldn't figure out why. And then he was sure he had been in a fight with a big animal. It must have been James or Sirius. Maybe they had had another close call. The thought chilled Remus. He had to find out what happened.  
  
He sat up in bed and looked to see where the nurse was. She was in her office. He slipped off the bed. Dumbledore always insisted he spend the day after the full moon in the hospital wing to rest and recover his strength, but he knew he would never be able to relax with this hanging over him. With one last look at the nurse, he slipped out of the hospital wing.  
  
He caught up to the boys as they were heading for Charms. "I need to talk to you guys now," Remus said firmly.  
  
"We'll be late for Charms," squeaked Peter.  
  
"Skip it," Remus said.  
  
James and Sirius gave each other a troubled look, but followed Remus into an empty classroom with Peter on their heels.  
  
"I want to know what happened last night," he said. Immediately the boys looked at each other nervously. "Did I do something," Remus asked, turning white. "Did I get away from you last night?"  
  
"No," James said firmly, "nothing like that. You didn't attack anyone, mate. We'd never let that happen."  
  
Remus felt the tension drain from his body. "Then what happened? I only remember bits and pieces."  
  
"It's a long story," said Sirius glumly, "and it's all my fault." Sirius and James did their best to relate what had happened the previous night, with Peter chiming in from time to time. When they had finished, Sirius said, "I'm really sorry, Moony. I was way out of line."  
  
"It's ok, Padfoot. I know you didn't mean for all that to happen."  
  
"No, it's not ok. She might have seen any of us transform. It would have ruined everything."  
  
"Yeah, but she didn't. Don't beat yourself up about it. Anyway, what did happen to Snape?"  
  
"James got to him and knocked him out before he got near the tree. We wiped his memory so he couldn't try again. Only, by the time we took care of Snape, Hermione was already down there."  
  
"But how did she know," asked a troubled Remus.  
  
"She's a dark wizard, I tell you," piped up Peter.  
  
"She can't be," said Remus dismissively.  
  
"Look mate, I know you like her and all, but you weren't there last night, not really," Sirius began. "There was no way she could have known what Peter and I did. We didn't even tell James because we didn't want to put him and Lily on the outs again."  
  
"She went crazy," Peter cried. "She attacked Sirius and then later she attacked me. And she kept screaming about people being murdered."  
  
"She didn't exactly attack me, Peter," Sirius interrupted. "I mean, she did hit me and all, but it wasn't like it was with you. She just lost it with you. It took both James and me to pull her off."  
  
"Yeah, because she's crazy," insisted Peter.  
  
"No, it doesn't make sense," said Remus.  
  
"What are you getting at, Remus," asked James?  
  
"It's just that she and I have been alone a bunch of times and she's been nothing but nice."  
  
"She could have been trying to pump information out of you," said Sirius.  
  
"And besides," Remus continued. "She was trying to stop Snape from seeing me last night. She went down that tunnel knowing full well what was down there. She risked her life to save me from being exposed."  
  
"But why go down there," said James. "Why not wait for Snape outside?"  
  
"Because she said you'd be too late, James," whispered Sirius.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh my God, I just remembered. I wouldn't tell her when Snape was going and she turned to Peter and said that James was going to save him, but he would get there too late."  
  
"Yeah, that's right," said Peter. "Because. She. Is. Crazy!"  
  
"Peter, shut up," said Remus. "What else did she say?"  
  
Sirius ran a hand through his straight black hair trying to remember. "She said she had to stop it from happening again," he said excitedly. "No, she said she wouldn't let it happen again."  
  
The four boys stared in wonderment at each other. No one knew what it meant.  
  
"Where is she now," asked Remus? The boys shrugged.  
  
"She wasn't at breakfast this morning," said James simply.  
  
"She'll turn up eventually," assured Sirius.  
  
They missed Charms entirely, but went to Potions after lunch and then trudged up to the Gryffindor common room. By dinner at six o'clock they had still not seen Hermione. Lily came to sit with them at dinner.  
  
"Have you guys seen Hermione?"  
  
Sirius, James, and Remus exchanged worried glances. Peter stared at his plate glumly. "No," said Remus. "Have you seen her at all today?"  
  
"I haven't seen her since last night. I tried to wait up to see if she was all right, but she never came to bed. Are you guys ever going to tell me what's going on?"  
  
"We can't yet, Lily," said James. "We're not entirely sure ourselves."  
  
"I think we should look for her," said Sirius. "It's my fault she's gone. She probably thinks you all will take my side."  
  
"Ok, let's split up," said James. "I'll go get my invisibility cloak and Remus and I will search the grounds. Sirius, you and Peter check the castle and Lily, go back to the dorm and check there. Then go to every girl's bathroom in the castle and see if she's hiding in one of the stalls. We'll meet back in the common room in two hours."  
  
Fifteen minutes later, James and Remus were walking onto the grounds under the invisibility cloak. "Maybe we should start by the lake," said Remus.  
  
"No, I think I know where she is," said James. "I'll bet my broomstick she's down in the Shrieking Shack. It's where I'd go if I wanted to be alone." Interpreting the silence, James continued. "I didn't say anything back at the castle because I didn't think Hermione would want to see Sirius or Peter. I thought maybe you and I could talk to her."  
  
"Good idea," said Remus. "Of course, getting down into the shack will be a lot more difficult without Peter."  
  
"We're not going that way. We're going through the Hogsmeade entrance. That's what the invisibility cloak is for."  
  
The boys made there way out of the Hogwarts grounds and into Hogsmeade. Once at the Shrieking Shack they went around to the back. "Go ahead, Remus. You know you're the only one who has access to open the shack on this side, besides Dumbledore," said James.  
  
Remus pulled out his wand, "Aloha Mora." Remus slid open the window and climbed in followed closely by James.  
  
Hermione was still fast asleep on the bed, curled up, one hand pillowing her cheek. Remus stepped forward. "Hermione," he whispered. She didn't stir. He reached one hand out and touched her face. It was warm with sleep.  
  
"Hermione," he said more loudly, shaking her shoulder.  
  
She opened her eyes slowly. "Remus," she smiled sleepily.  
  
He smiled back. "Yeah, it's me."  
  
"Go away," she said when she saw who was behind him. "Just leave me alone," she said burying her face in the bed.  
  
"We can't do that," James said, stepping forward. "You can't hide in here forever."  
  
"Sure I can," she said bitterly. "You do it every month," she said pointedly to Remus. Immediately, Hermione's face clouded over. "I'm sorry, Remus."  
  
James sat on the bed next to Hermione. "I wish you'd tell us what's wrong."  
  
"I can't. I shouldn't."  
  
"You said that last night. You said you promised Dumbledore."  
  
Hermione nodded.  
  
"You have to talk to someone," James continued. "You're obviously in pain. Whatever this secret is, it's making you miserable."  
  
Remus approached uncomfortably, sitting on Hermione's other side. "You can trust us, Hermione," he said touching her arm gently.  
  
At his touch, Hermione jumped to her feet. Remus's heart pulled painfully in his chest. "Are you so repulsed by me, now that you know that you can't even stand me touching you?"  
  
Hermione whirled around to face him. "No," she said adamantly. "Never. I've never been afraid of you or repulsed." She stepped back and kneeled in front of him, taking his hand.  
  
The gesture surprised him slightly, but also made his fingers tingle.  
  
"This whole time I've been here, you've been the person who's made me feel the most at home and I've known about you the entire time."  
  
"How, Hermione? Please tell me," Remus pleaded.  
  
"I know, because where I come from it's not a secret."  
  
"What, Beaubaxton," asked James?  
  
"No, I'm not from Beaubaxton. I've been at Hogwarts since first year."  
  
"You're not making any sense," said Remus.  
  
"I know, just let me finish." Hermione took a deep breath and returned to the bed. "I'm from the future, over twenty years into the future."  
  
"The future," said James incredulously. "Look, if you don't want to tell us what's up with you, you don't have to, but don't lie."  
  
"I'm not lying, and contrary to popular belief, I'm not crazy either," she said.  
  
"I don't think you're a liar or crazy, Hermione," said Remus gently. "But what you're saying isn't possible."  
  
"Yes, it is," said Hermione simply. "I'm here."  
  
"I know all about time-turners. I read about the use of them in History of Magic and you can't go back that far with them," Remus continued.  
  
"I didn't use a time-turner. I wasn't even trying to come back. I walked through this door in the castle and the next thing I knew James was standing over me."  
  
James and Remus stared at each other with looks of incredulity on their faces.  
  
"I can prove it," said Hermione desperately. Now that she had finally told she wanted them to believe her. "I already knew that Remus was a werewolf." She turned to face him. "You got bit as a kid and you weren't certain that you'd even be allowed to come to Hogwarts, but Dumbledore was able to work it out. And then you were so certain that if any of your friends found out they wouldn't want anything to do with you." Hermione paused. "How am I doing so far?"  
  
Both boys could only nod wide-eyed. "Anyway, James and Sirius eventually figured it out." She turned and looked at James. "I doubt Peter was much help there. He didn't even know the five characteristics of a werewolf for his O.W.L.'s."  
  
James's shock was so great by this statement that he jumped off the bed and took a few steps before turning back and staring open-mouthed at Hermione.  
  
"Got your attention, did I," she said. "So then comes fifth year, the year you were finally able to pull it off."  
  
James shook his head in disbelief as if his own force of mind could stop her from saying what he already knew was coming.  
  
"You know what," she began. "I agree with Dumbledore. It really is impressive that there were three unregistered animagi's running around his school without him ever knowing."  
  
"This is impossible," breathed James. "What else do you know about us?"  
  
"No, stop," said Remus suddenly. "You shouldn't say another word."  
  
"Why," asked James?  
  
"Because, she could put herself at risk if we know too much."  
  
"No, I can't, not anymore," said Hermione sadly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I'm stuck, I can't go back." Tears fell softly down her face. "I'll never see my parents again or Harry and Ron. I don't have anybody anymore."  
  
Remus reached out and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry," he said. "You won't be alone, I promise."  
  
"Yeah, Hermione," said James kneeling in front of the two of them. "We'll take care of you."  
  
Hermione smiled and pulled away from Remus, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Then she reached out and hugged James tightly. James patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.  
  
Hermione laughed. "You hug just like your son."  
  
James pulled back and held her at arms length, "my son?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"I have a son?"  
  
"Well, not right now, obviously, but you will."  
  
They grinned at each other.  
  
"He's one of the best people I know. One day soon, I'll tell you more about him."  
  
"I think we should be getting back," said Remus. "Everybody will be wondering where we went."  
  
"Yeah, let's go."  
  
"One more thing," said Hermione. "I don't think we should say anything to anybody, especially not Lily or Peter."  
  
"Why not Lily and Peter," asked Remus?  
  
"Then can I tell Sirius," said James at the same time.  
  
Hermione laughed. "It's not a good idea for Lily and Peter to know too much of anything right now. I still have some things to think about. You'll just have to trust me. And as far as telling Sirius goes, if you Potter boys are anything alike, I wouldn't be able to stop you. Harry told Ron and me absolutely everything."  
  
"Harry, huh," said James. "His mother must have picked that name." James went to the window, opened it and climbed out. Then he reached back to help Hermione over. "You wouldn't by any chance happen to know who she is."  
  
"Oh no, there are some things that are best left a secret."  
  
"Kind of figured you'd say that," said James glumly.  
  
Remus climbed through the open window last, carrying the invisibility cloak. "I sure hope all three of us will fit under this."  
  
"Don't worry," said Hermione smiling wickedly. "This isn't the first time I've been under it with two guys."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Hi all, it is time once again to thank all my reviewers. You guys rock! Thank you Rane2920072, Mrs. N. Snape, Brigd13, Hearts, Roxio, Sexy- jess, and Spaced Out Space Cadet. Things are going to start coming to a head for our poor girl Hermione and she's going to have some tough decisions to make in the upcoming chapters. (Just a little teaser!) 


	5. Chapter 5

The next few weeks were sheer joy for Hermione.  The depression that she had been plummeting into was evaporating.  James, Remus, and Sirius went out of their way to make sure she was always smiling or laughing.  After the day she spent in the Shrieking Shack she didn't have a moment to herself.  She couldn't even go to the bathroom alone.  Lily stuck with her like glue, Hermione suspected James.  

Anytime she looked wistful it wasn't long before someone gave her a hug, Lily, or told her a joke, James, or even tugged at her hair, Sirius.  And Remus was never too busy to talk to her or study with her or just listen to her.

Hermione wasn't sure how James and Remus explained things to Lily and Peter, but whatever it was must have satisfied them because neither asked her any questions.  The day after her revelation, Hermione went to Peter and apologized to him.  He accepted her apology, but remained distant and wary of her.

Sirius thought the whole thing a great joke.  The very next morning he came up behind her as she was walking to class and put his arm around her shoulder.

"So, the future, huh," he whispered in her ear.  "You wouldn't happen to know who wins the next Quidditch World Cup, would you?"

Hermione could only laugh, relieved not only that he believed her, but that she had not ruined their friendship.

In the weeks that followed, James, Remus, and Sirius had many conversations about their new friend.  A few weeks before Christmas the three friends were walking around the grounds discussing what they always discussed when they were alone, Hermione.

"So, where is Hermione?" Remus asked in a would-be casual voice.  James and Sirius grinned at each other.

"She's with Peter," said Sirius.  "Poor guy got himself extra potions and charms homework.  She's trying to quiz him for tomorrow's practice N.E.W.T.'s.  That girl is dead clever."

James nodded.  "Do you think she's ever going to tell us any of the stuff she knows?"

"Who knows," said Sirius.  "Whenever I ask her, she says she's still thinking about it."

"I wish she'd finish thinking.  I want to know how she knows so much about us."

"We're obviously very important people on the future, probably famous.  How else would she know about all our exploits?"

"She knows my son.  They're friends," said James.

"I know," said Remus.  "But I think there's more to it than that.  She gets this real far away look in her eyes sometimes.  And she watches you a lot, James, when we're all studying in the library or sitting in the common room.  I don't think she realizes she does it half the time."

James shrugged, "I say if she hasn't brought the subject up by Christmas then we ask her."

"That reminds me," said Sirius.  "Do you think some of us should stay at Hogwarts over Christmas?  Hermione will be all alone otherwise."

"Nah," said James.  "I've written to mum and dad to see if you all can come to our place for the break.  I thought the girls could stay in Sirius's room and we guys could bunk in mine.  What do you say, Moony?  Think your parents would go for it?"

"Actually," said Remus turning red.  "I already told them I was staying at Hogwarts for break."

Sirius laughed.  "I should have known."

"Known what?  I just thought it would be good to stay and study for the N.E.W.T.'s."

"Right and I'm sure a certain pretty 7th year all alone for the holidays had nothing to do with it."

Remus turned even redder.  "No."

"Aw, come off it, Moony.  We all know you like her."

"Of course I like her.  She's my friend."

"So am I," teased Sirius.  "But I don't catch you staring at me 24-7."

"Yeah, well it doesn't matter either way.  I doubt she even thinks about me."

"I wouldn't say that."

"Look, let's just drop it.  I think going to James's for the holidays will be fun."  Remus put on a burst of speed and walked several feet in front of them.

"What's the matter with him," whispered Sirius.

"Maybe he thinks Hermione won't… you know… because…" James stuttered.

"What," he whispered.

"She won't like him because he's a werewolf.  Jeez, Sirius, do I have to spell it out for you?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and grinned.  "Maybe you didn't do him any favors by inviting everyone home for the holidays.  He was probably hoping to have her all to himself for a couple of weeks."

James grinned back and punched Sirius on the shoulder.

As it turned out, only Remus and Hermione went to Godric's Hollow with James and Sirius.  Lily's parents didn't think it was appropriate for her to spend the holidays with her boyfriend and Peter's mother wouldn't let him go.

James pouted most of the trip on the Hogwarts Express.  When they arrived at King's Cross Station, they exited platform 9 ¾ two at a time.  When Hermione and Sirius re-entered the muggle world, Hermione caught a glimpse of Lily's family.  

Her parents hugged her enthusiastically and greeted James with warmth, but Hermione could see a thin tall dark haired girl with a sour face standing a few feet away.  Hermione knew immediately that it was Petunia Dursley or to be more accurate the future Petunia Dursley.  She was only Evans now.  Hermione was amazed at how recognizable she was.

"Come on, Hermione, the Potter's are over there," Sirius said.  He took her arm and led her to a smiling man and woman.

"What about James," asked Hermione, glancing back?

"He'll take forever saying goodbye to Lily.  God, I hope he doesn't mope around all break," Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Sirius!"  James's mother met them halfway and put her arms around him.  For a second, Hermione was transported back into a memory.  The way Mrs. Potter hugged Sirius reminded Hermione of how Molly Weasley always greeted Harry when they returned from school.  Mrs. Potter would never know how her kindness to a boy who found his home life intolerable would be repaid to her through her grandson.

"My goodness, I can't believe you boys have only been gone four months.  The house has been so quiet without you."

"Welcome home, son," said Mr. Potter coming up behind his wife and addressing Sirius.

"Thank you, sir.  It's good to be home."

"I see that my son is somewhat occupied at the moment, so why don't you introduce us to your new friend."

"You remember Remus," said Sirius pointing back to Remus.  He stepped forward and extended his hand to Mr. Potter, who took it in his own and shook it firmly.

"Good to see you again, Remus."

"And this is Hermione," he said pushing her a little forward.  "Hermione, these are James's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Potter."

"Nice to meet you," smiled Hermione shyly.

"It's nice to meet you, dear," said Mr. and Mrs. Potter in turn.  "Well," said Mr. Potter.  "Why don't you boys get a trolley for your luggage and we'll get going."

When they arrived at Godric's Hollow, the boys and Hermione piled out of the car.  Mrs. Potter got out of the car and called Hermione over.  "Why don't we let the boys bring the trunks in and you and I can go inside and get better acquainted."

"Ok," agreed Hermione readily.  She followed Mrs. Potter inside and into the kitchen.

"Sit down dear," said Mrs. Potter.

Hermione sat and looked around the kitchen.  This was only the second wizarding home she had ever been in, not counting the Order Headquarters.  The Potter's home was nothing like the Weasley's.  In fact, the house was more like her own than Ron's.  The kitchen was white and spotless, almost sterile, but with a noticeable lack of appliances.  Muggle appliances tended to go a little haywire in wizarding households.

Mrs. Potter waved her wand around and two steaming cups of tea appeared in front of Hermione.  She sat down in front of Hermione and smiled.

Hermione smiled back.  "Thank you for having me over."

"We're glad you decided to stay here.  James told us you were staying at school for the break otherwise."

"Yeah, I was.  My parent's were going on holiday to America," she lied.  "I didn't really want to go."

"Your parent's live in France?"

"Umm, yes, France."

Mrs. Potter smiled.  "And you used to attend Beaubaxton?"

"Yes," said Hermione uncomfortably.

"Your accent isn't very noticeable," commented Mrs. Potter.

"Well I…"

"Mom," interrupted James striding across the kitchen.  "We're done."

"Did you put Hermione's things in Sirius's room," she asked?

"Yup.  I thought we'd show Hermione around Godric's Hollow."

"All right, but don't be too long.  Dinner's in an hour."

"We won't," assured James.  "Come on, Hermione."

"Thanks," said Hermione once they were out of the kitchen.  "I have to start thinking of better answers to those questions."

James just smiled.  He joined Remus and Sirius outside.  "Let's show Hermione around," he commanded.

"James," called his father.

"What is it, dad," asked James turning to his father.

"I don't want you kids going far.  Stay on the property."

James gave his father a perplexed look, but simply nodded.

The boys gave Hermione a tour of the Potter's extensive land.  The house, which was not overly large, sat on the edge of a field that bordered a wooded area.  Within the wooded area was a small clearing.  "My great-great-grandfather cleared this area for a Quidditch field," explained James.  "It has anti-muggle wards all around it."

They trudged further into the woods and came across a small cabin.  "This was my father and uncle's club house when they were boys," said James

"Club house," repeated Hermione incredulously.  "You could live in that cabin," she said under her breath.  Hermione had always known that Harry came from money, but she never guessed the extent of it.  It wasn't something that usually came up.

They continued touring the grounds until it was nearly dark.  Hermione looked up and saw the rising moon over the tree line.  As if reading her thoughts, Remus approached her from behind.  "Not for another 13 days," he said.

"I know," she said softly.  "I checked before we left."

"Were you worried," asked Remus lightly?

"No," returned Hermione.  "I just wanted to check whether I was going to be able to give you your present on Christmas, or if I was going to have to give it to you early."

Remus turned away to hide his smile.

"I think we better get back," said James.  "Mom will have dinner waiting."

They returned to the house and spent the rest of the evening eating and talking.  When it was finally time for bed, Hermione barely made it to the room, she was so tired.  She was asleep seconds after her head hit the pillow.

The week leading up to Christmas was a lot of fun.  Hermione tried, unsuccessfully to get the boys to do some studying, but their response was usually that there was plenty of time for that after Christmas.  She tried not to feel frustrated with them all for not taking the upcoming N.E.W.T.s seriously, but rarely succeeded.

"You're all going to fail if you don't buckle down," she lectured them one morning when they were eating breakfast.

"No we're not," dismissed Sirius, then he looked up sharply.  "We're not, right?"

Hermione couldn't hold back the smirk.  "Wouldn't you like to know," she said trying to keep a straight face.

Sirius's face clouded over with worry.  Remus, who was watching the exchange couldn't help but laugh.

Sirius stared into Hermione's eyes and she tried to maintain his gaze.  "You're lying," he smirked back at her.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," teased Hermione.

"Now I know you're lying," said Sirius.

"Hermione, the N.E.W.T.s are going to be a piece of cake," said James.  "They got us all worked up over the O.W.L.'s and they were nothing."

"Hermione," interrupted Remus.  "We promise we'll study right after Christmas, but don't you think you ought to take a little break too?"

"I suppose," she admitted grudgingly.

Sirius leaned over to James.  "He promised.  We didn't."

"I heard that," said Hermione shooting a look at James and Sirius.

"I didn't whisper," returned Sirius, teasingly.

Hermione rolled her eyes, but didn't comment.  Remus was right.  She might as well enjoy a little break.

Mrs. Potter walked into the kitchen.  "What are you four going to be doing today," she asked.

"Quidditch," replied James through a mouthful of cereal.

"Do you play, Hermione," asked Mrs. Potter?

"No," she said quickly.  "Actually, I thought I'd go for a walk today, explore a bit."

"Alone," asked Mrs. Potter in concern.  "I don't know," she said slowly.

"I'll go with her," said Remus quickly.

James and Sirius smirked into their cereal bowls.

"You don't have to," said Hermione smiling.

"No, I want to," assured Remus.

"Ok, if you're sure."

"It'll be fun," he assured her.

They all got up from the table five minutes later.  Sirius and James grabbed their brooms and headed for the Quidditch field and Remus and Hermione took off in the opposite direction.

"Thanks for coming with me," said Hermione.

"Sure, no problem."

As they walked she watched him out of the corner of her eye.  She loved being with Remus.  He was so familiar to her.  She was amazed at how little he had changed in twenty years.  Sirius was nothing like his future self; of course twelve years in Azkaban prison would do that to you.  She even looked for familiarity in James, but the similarities between him and his son didn't pass beyond their striking resemblance.  Harry was not quite as free spirited as his father.  She pushed the thought of Harry from her mind.  It was still too painful to think about him.

"A knut for your thoughts," said Remus, interrupting her musings.

"What?"

He blushed.  "You looked sort of far away for a second.  I was just wondering what you were thinking."

"I was thinking about Harry, actually," she said honestly.

"James's son," said Remus more as a statement than a question.

Hermione nodded.

"You miss him a lot."

She nodded again feeling her throat tighten.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to go back?"

Hermione shrugged.  "Dumbledore doesn't seem to think so," she said.  "And if he can't send me back, I don't know who could."

Remus could see that the subject was painful for her so he tried to tactfully change the subject.  "I was wondering," he began.  "Are James, Sirius, Peter, and I still friends in the future?  Or did we drift apart?"

"Umm…"

Suddenly he laughed.  "You must already be pretty familiar with Godric's Hollow if you're best friends with James's son.  You must come visit him during the summer.  You should have reminded us the other day when James was showing you around.  I bet you guys hang out in that cabin all the time."

Hermione turned away uncomfortably.  "I don't think we should be talking about this."

Remus stared at her.  "Why," he asked slowly?

She shook her head.  "It's just not a good idea."

"Are you ever going to tell us anything about the future?"

"I don't know," she said honestly.  "It could be dangerous.  Wizarding laws on altering time are pretty strict."

"It's ok," he assured her.  "You seem like the kind of person who always does the right thing."

"Yeah," she said distractedly.  She was remembering the end of third year when she and Harry had gone back in time to save Sirius.  _"Harry, we've got to stay put.  We mustn't be seen.  There's nothing we can do…."  "So we're just going to let Pettigrew escape all over again…." said Harry quietly._

"Hermione," said Remus, shaking her shoulder lightly?  "What are you thinking?"

Hermione stared at Remus remembering vividly the decision she had forced on Harry not to go after Peter.  Exactly two years later Sirius would be dead.  She wondered often now whether she had made the right decision all those years ago.  "You know it's not always clear what the right decision is.  Sometimes doing the right thing has unintended consequences."

"I don't understand," said Remus.

Hermione shook her head.  "Never mind, it's not important."

They walked for a little while longer, but Hermione's heart wasn't into it anymore.  After a half an hour, she begged off and went back to the house.  Remus tried to keep her company, but she insisted he join the boys.  Reluctantly, he left her.

Hermione roamed around the house alone.  Mrs. Potter was doing some last minute shopping in Diagon Alley and Mr. Potter was at the office.  She wandered into a small room with several massive bookcases hoping to find something to read.    She crossed the room and ran her finger, almost lovingly, along the row of brown cracked spines, pulling a random book from the shelf.

"Hermione?"

Hermione whipped around.  Standing in the doorway was Mr. Potter.  She clutched the book to her chest.  "I'm sorry.  I was just looking for something to read."

Mr. Potter smiled warmly.  "That's ok.  Go ahead and take anything you want."

"I didn't know anyone was home."

"I just got here.  I thought I'd do a bit of work from home."

Hermione looked down at the ground nervously.

"You're welcome to read in here until the boys get back," offered Mr. Potter.

"I don't want to disturb you."

"You won't be.  I wouldn't mind the company."

"Ok," agreed Hermione taking a seat in a large leather chair near the fireplace.  Mr. Potter went to his desk and pulled out a large folder and began thumbing through it.  They stayed that way, working and reading, until the boys returned.

Hermione could hear the boys coming before they entered the house.  Mr. Potter looked up with a smile.  "I think that's the end of our peace and quiet," he remarked quietly, stuffing his papers back into the folder and putting the whole thing in his top drawer.

Hermione laughed and closed her book.  She got up to place it back on the bookshelf.

"You can hang on to that if you want," offered Mr. Potter getting up.

"That's ok.  I've read this one already."

Mr. Potter took the book from Hermione and examined the cover.  He raised one eyebrow.  "_Alchemia_, you've read this?"

Hermione shrugged.  "I was interested in alchemy during my second year."  'It was necessary,' she thought to herself.  "I'm a bit of a bookworm," she said apologetically.

"I can see that," he said replacing the book on the shelf.  He tried to reign in the wide smile threatening to take over his face.  "Why don't you go ahead and tell the boys to get cleaned up.  I'm sure dinner will be ready soon."

Hermione nodded and left the room, leaving Mr. Potter chuckling in his study.

Dinner was wonderful and nobody objected to turning in early.  Even at seventeen they were all excited for it to be Christmas morning already.

Hermione woke bright and early on Christmas morning and gathered the bundle of presents she had wrapped the night before.  She trotted downstairs and wasn't the least bit surprised to see the three boys sitting together in the living room.

"Happy Christmas," they each said when she appeared.

"Happy Christmas," she replied smiling.

"Ok, Hermione's up, let's open our presents," said James.

"Wait," said Hermione.  "Shouldn't we wait for your parents?"

"They'll sleep forever," whined James.

Hermione laughed.  "You sound like an eleven year old, James."

"Well at least let us open yours," he bargained.

"Ok," she agreed reluctantly handing over the bundles.  Sirius, James, and Remus tore into the wrapping.  "If you don't like them, lie to me."

They each held their own sweater up admiring them.

"They're great, Hermione," said Sirius examining his sweater.

"Really?"

"Yeah," said James smiling at her.

"It took forever to make them," she confessed.

"You made these," questioned Sirius.

She nodded.

"Wow, I didn't know you could knit."

"Yeah, I use to be terrible, but I got much better during my fifth year making hats and scarves for the house elves at Hogwarts."

"Hats and scarves for house elves," questioned James?

"Yeah, it was for my organization S.P.E.W."

"S.P.E.W?  Spew, what's that," questioned Sirius.

"It's not spew.  It stands for the Society for the Protection of Elfish Welfare."

James and Sirius gave each other a side long glance.

"Never mind," said Hermione glancing over at Remus.  He was staring at his sweater.  "Did you not like it?  Is it the wrong color, because I know a spell to change the color?  I just thought the blue would bring out the color of your eyes."

Remus looked up.  "No I love it, really.  It's great," he said softly.

She beamed.  Remus turned away and pulled something from behind him.  "Here," he said handing it over to her.  "This is from me."

Hermione could tell from its shape that it was a book.  She pulled the paper away and gasped happily.  "Hogwarts: A History," she said.

"It's not new or anything.  It actually used to belong to me, but I remember you said it was your favorite book."

She ran her hands over the book, then set it down and leaned over, pulling Remus into a massive hug.  "I love it," she said.  "Thank you.

Remus returned the hug holding her longer than was probably necessary.  When they finally broke apart, James and Sirius were grinning at them.

"We got you a present too," said James, "but it's something we have to take you too, not something you can open."

"We thought we'd go after breakfast," said Sirius.

Hermione looked at them skeptically.  "What have you two done?"

They laughed mischievously.  "You'll see," said James.  "You'll love it.  We swear."

Hours later the four friends were bundled in their warmest muggle clothes and were heading into the Potter's back yard.  Sirius grabbed an old tennis shoe that was hidden behind the house.

"Is that my present," smirked Hermione.

"Yes, actually," said Sirius handing it over to her.

She took it and held it out in front of her.  "You guys have a very weird sense of humor."

"Just hang on," said Sirius, grabbing hold of the other end of the shoe.  Remus and James moved closer and also took hold of the shoe.  Hermione realized a second before it happened what the shoe really was.  She felt the familiar tug at her navel as the port key whisked them away.  When they arrived at their destination, she nearly fell back, but Remus caught her quickly.

"How did you get a port key," asked Hermione when she had caught her breath?

"We have our ways," said Sirius pompously.

"Oh please tell me it wasn't illegal," begged Hermione.

"You worry too much," said James.  "Let's just say an old friend of ours, who happens to work in the Department of Transportation, owed us a favor."

"Who," questioned Remus?

"Dung," replied Sirius, glancing around the side street they had landed to make sure no one had seen them arrive.

"Mundungus Fletcher," said Hermione in horror.  "Now I know it was illegal."

"You know Dung," grinned James.

"Umm, barely," said Hermione sheepishly.

"It's good to know old Dung will be around for a while," said Sirius.  "He's a very useful contact to have."

"Aren't you curious where we are," asked James.

"Yes," admitted Hermione.

James and Sirius could barely contain their glee as they pulled Hermione onto the main street.  They were in a small muggle street, lined with nearly identical houses on the right and left.  James pointed at the fourth house on the left.  "Do you see that house," he asked?  "The one with the peach door."

"Yes," said Hermione.

"Your parents live there."

Hermione's mouth dropped.  "My mum and dad?"

"Mm Hmm," said James.  "We found them."

Tears sprang to Hermione's eyes.  "How did you find them," she whispered?

"We found their dental practice, actually.  After that, finding where they lived was easy."

"Do you want to go over," asked Sirius?

"We can't," said Hermione.  "What would we say?"

"James and I already worked that out.  We'll just ask them to borrow their telephone.  Then at least you could see them."

"I don't know," said Hermione.

"Go on, Hermione," spoke up Remus.  "What could it hurt?  Besides, I know you really miss them."

"Ok," she agreed slowly.

"James, you and Remus stay here.  I'll go with her," said Sirius, taking Hermione's hand and leading her across the street.

Hermione took a deep breath as Sirius rang the doorbell.  A tall pretty blond women with unforgivable frizzy hair answered the door.  Hermione lost all ability to speak.  Her mother looked so young.  She realized that her mother was only a few years older than she was during this time.  Her parents were newly married.

"Sorry to bother you, ma'am," said Sirius.  "We broke down a few streets down and wondered if we could use your phone."

"Of course," she said opening the door wider and admitting Hermione and Sirius.  "The phone's that way," she said pointing Sirius to the kitchen.

"Thanks," he said, leaving Hermione with her mother.

"Can I offer you something to drink," she asked Hermione?

"No, thank you," said Hermione trying not to stare.  "We're sorry for barging in on you on Christmas."

"Think nothing of it," she replied.  "My name's Elizabeth, by the way, Elizabeth Granger."  She extended her hand.

Hermione took it softly.  "Hermione," she replied.  "Hermione Gr… umm…," she searched her mind and said the first name that popped in her head.  "Lupin."  She cringed, thankful that Sirius hadn't heard the name she gave her mother.

"That's a beautiful name," smiled Elizabeth.

"Lizzy," a man called, striding into her room.  Hermione gasped seeing a younger version of her father.  "Oh, I'm sorry," he said.  "I didn't realize we had company."

"David, this is Hermione Lupin.  She and her husband broke down a few blocks away.  He's using our phone."

"That's a shame on Christmas," said David sympathetically.  "Would you like me to take a look at the car?"

Hermione smiled and shook her head.  "No, thank you.  I'm sure, my husband," she said with a smile, "will be able to get a tow truck."

Sirius, who was in fact listening from the kitchen, reappeared.  "Tow trucks on its way," he said cheerfully.  He came up beside Hermione and put his arm around her shoulder.  "I guess the wife and I will be going."

Hermione forced a smile and discreetly elbowed Sirius in the side.

"Are you sure you won't wait here for it to come," offered Elizabeth.  "It's really cold outside."

Sirius glanced at Hermione, giving her the option.  "No, thank you," she said reluctantly.  "You've been kind enough.  We should be going."  She pushed Sirius toward the door.  "It was very nice meeting you."

She pulled Sirius away hastily.  "I can't believe we just did that," she said.  "Oh God, if Dumbledore knew."

"You worry too much, Hermione," said Sirius smiling.  They rejoined Remus and James.

"So, how'd it go," asked James?

"Wonderful," said Hermione honestly.  "It was really nice to see their faces again.  Thank you both so much."

"The port key will be going off in another fifteen minutes," said James.  "Let's try to find some place out of sight."  They moved to an abandoned alley way and waited, shivering in the cold air.

Hermione was on a happy cloud the rest of the day.  Mrs. Potter cooked an elaborate dinner and they stayed up most of the night talking and playing games.  It was the last peaceful evening any of them would have for a while.

The day after Christmas Hermione awoke late.  She felt a little embarrassed at being the last one down to breakfast.  Mrs. Potter was walking distractedly between the kitchen and dining room muttering to herself.  Hermione followed her into the dining room.

The boys were all clustered around one corner of the table leaning over the morning edition of the Daily Prophet.

"What's going on," asked Hermione?

All three boys started and James made to put the paper away.

"What's going on," she repeated more adamantly.  Reluctantly, James handed over the paper.  The headline read:

Mass Muggle Attack; 23 Killed

Ministry Officials are calling it the worst muggle attack in over fifty years.  Twenty-three muggles are confirmed dead and over forty-seven were injured at the hands of a group of wizards who refer to themselves as Death Eaters.  This group of rogue wizards is being led by a wizard the Ministry is referring to as He who must not be named.  He who must not be named has been rumored to be linked to other attacks on both wizards and muggles.

      Hermione stopped reading and stared in horror at the boys.  She dropped the paper back on the table, turned and ran out of the house.  Remus jumped up and ran after her.  "Hermione!  Hermione wait."

      She stopped about twenty feet in front of the house, but didn't turn.

"I know what you're thinking," he began.  "But you're wrong.  There's no way you could have stopped that from happening.  No one expected anything like that to happen."

Angry tears welled up in her eyes.  "No one, except me," she said bitterly.  

"Hermione, I know how you must feel…"

"You have no idea what I'm thinking, or how I feel," Hermione said angrily.

"It's ok, we're all upset."

"I'm not upset," she denied stubbornly.

"Then what," he said, advancing and turning her to face him.  "Talk to me," he begged.  "Or if you don't want to talk to me then talk to James or Sirius."

"I'm tired of talking," said Hermione wrenching free of his grasp.  "You don't know," she shouted.  "You can't possibly understand.  I've been fighting against the dark arts since I was eleven.  I've watched as people have died for no reason whatsoever, except they strayed across him.  I've seen families get split in two, while they fight to do what's right.  You get upset over one attack.  Try living in a world where every year something more terrible happens and no matter how hard you fight, they just keep coming and now it's starting and none of you have a clue."

"Hermione, you're right.  I don't know anything about your world, your past, or our future.  But I refuse to believe that while decent people live on this earth that you know who or his followers will ever win."

Hermione shook her head sadly.  "It's the decent people who will be the first to go."  Hermione paused, taking a deep breath.  "Every time I look at you, I get a knot in my stomach.  Do you know why?"

Remus shook his head apprehensively.  He was desperate for her to continue, but he was also afraid.  He knew she was finally going to tell him what he had wanted to know ever since he first found out where she was from.

"It's because I know what you're going to go through in the next twenty years."

"I'm not afraid of the future," said Remus.  "As long as I have the people I love around me, it doesn't matter.  I can handle whatever's coming.  Besides, you're forgetting one thing.  We have Dumbledore.  As long as we have him, I know things will be ok, no matter how bad they get."

Hermione laughed bitterly.  "I used to say that too.  Well let me tell you something.  Dumbledore can't stop the future from coming.  He can't stop death from coming.  He couldn't save any of them, not James or Lily, not Sirius, not any of them."

Remus stared at her in horror.  "What are you saying?"

Hermione's voice had gotten somewhat hysterical.  "I'm saying they're dead, all of them."  Hermione stopped abruptly and stared at something a few feet behind Remus.  Remus turned to see James and Sirius staring back.


	6. Chapter 6

Sirius dragged Hermione back into the house and up to the bedroom the boys were sharing.  James and Remus followed at a half run, half walk.

Sirius had a hold of Hermione's upper arm and once James had closed the door he shook her violently.  "Talk now!"

"Sirius," James shouted.

Sirius paid no attention to James.  Instead, he grabbed Hermione's other arm so she was forced to face him.  "I'm not kidding, Hermione."

"Get off her," shouted Remus, pushing between the two of them, forcing Sirius to let her go.  "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I think I'm trying to get some answers," Sirius shouted back.

"Like this?"

"Yes like this, like any way I can get her to talk."

"Sirius, calm down," James said putting a hand on his shoulder.

Sirius whirled on James.  "Don't tell me to calm down."

"You're out of control."

"You're damn right I'm out of control."  The boys were inches from each other and getting red in the face.

"Stop it," shouted Hermione.  They all turned to look at her.  "Please don't fight.  I should have never said what I said.  It was irresponsible."

"Irresponsible," spat Sirius.  He laughed, but there was no humor in it.  "Is that all you have to say?"

Hermione turned away, mentally berating herself for her loss of control.  "I was upset.  I can't… I don't know…," she couldn't seem to put her thoughts into words.

The boys stared at her.  "You can't leave it there," said James.  "You know that."  He paused, waiting for her to continue.

"If the future is as bad as you say it is," spoke up Remus quietly.  "What harm could you possibly do by telling us?"

"I don't know, but I'm scared.  If I told you everything I know, the world I know would disappear."

Remus took a step closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder.  "The world you remember doesn't exist yet."  He took a, deep breath.  "What would Harry say if he knew you could save his father, but didn't?"

Hermione stepped back, her eyes shining with tears.  She felt as if he had physically slapped her.  "That's not fair.  You have no right to use him against me like that."

He stepped toward her again, closing the gap between them.  She put her hand out, trying to push him away.  He stood his ground.  "I'm not.  I just want you to realize that not saying something is a choice too."

She considered his words carefully.  Deep down she wanted to tell them.  She'd wanted to tell them since her first week with them.  "What would Harry say," she repeated softly?  She thought back to the end of their fifth year.  She remembered waking up in the hospital wing, wondering how she had gotten there.

_Harry was sitting between her and Ron with his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed low._

_"Harry," she said croakily.  He looked up at her.  "What happened?"_

_"You got hit by a spell," he said quietly.  "But you're going to be ok."_

_"No," she said shaking her head.  "I mean back at the Ministry.  Did everyone get out ok?"_

_He shook his head slowly._

_"Oh my God!  Who?"  She sat up and looked over at Ron again to reassure herself that he was really there, and then she glanced around the hospital wing.  In their own beds were Ginny, Luna, and Neville._

_She turned and stared at Harry, who was staring straight ahead, not really seeing anything._

_"Harry," she questioned?_

_"The Order came," he said his voice sounding hollow.  "Sirius came with them."  He stopped talking._

_Hermione stared at him, hearing what he couldn't bring himself to say.  "Oh, Harry," she said softly, covering her mouth.  Her heart was breaking for him._

_He looked at her and she was scared by what she saw in his eyes.  She had never seen them look quite so lifeless.  Without another word he rose and quietly left the hospital wing._

Hermione glanced around the room at James, Sirius, and Remus.  "I'll tell you everything," she said resolutely.  

She paused to breathe.  "Maybe we should all sit down."  Each person found a place to sit, but Hermione immediately rose again.  "I don't know where to start."

"Why don't you start from the part where we're all dead," said Sirius sarcastically.

Hermione ignored him and Remus shot him a dirty look.  "Yesterday's attack was the beginning, or rather the end of the beginning.  You all read it in the paper, it was the worst mass muggle killing in decades, but it won't keep that record for long.  Voldemort…"

"Shut up," whispered James loudly.  "Have you lost your mind?  You can't just… I mean, it's just not…"

"I will not call that maniac you-know-who or he-who-must-not-be-named or even the dark lord.  His name is Voldemort and I am not afraid to say it."  Hermione's eyes glowed with anger.  "And neither will you guys be for long."  All three boys looked taken aback.

She continued.  "As I was saying, Voldemort and the Death Eaters are going to strike again and soon, and they are going to get more confident and more aggressive until no one is safe anywhere, well except for Hogwarts, that is."  She started pacing.

"Soon, Dumbledore is going to start a group to fight him.  He calls it the Order of the Phoenix and all of you will be members and your entire purpose will be to fight."

"How do you know Dumbledore hasn't already started this group," interrupted James.

"Because you're an original member and you can't be in the Order while you're at school.    I don't know when the Order starts, but it starts too late and by the time it does begin you'll be outnumbered twenty to one.  And then he'll start picking you all off."  Hermione's voice dropped to a whisper.  "So many people are going to die.  I think eventually everyone would have… if he hadn't… if Harry," Hermione trailed off, too upset to continue.

"It's ok Hermione," said Remus.  "Just take your time."

She nodded and took a few deep breaths.  "Voldemort was at the top.  The Ministry was in shambles.  Nobody knew who to trust.  He was closing in on everything and then he went after the wrong family."

She turned and looked at James.  "I told you that the reason I know so much about all of you is that I'm friends with your son, best friends, but what I didn't tell you is that Harry is the only living member of your family in my time."

They all stared horrified at her, but she rushed on.  "I don't know why, Dumbledore knows, I'm sure he does, he might have even told Harry, but Voldemort makes it his personal mission to kill the entire Potter family.  On October 31, 1981, he comes to this house and kills you and then he tries to kill your son, but his mother dies protecting him and when Voldemort tries to kill Harry, the spell rebounds on him and he disappears."

"1981," James croaked, that's in less than four years."

"I know," she said sadly.  "But that's not the worst of it.  Sirius… no I've gone too far.  Dumbledore knew he was after you and you went into hiding.  Dumbledore performed the Fidelius Charm.  Do you know what that is?"

Remus nodded, but James and Sirius shook their heads.  "It's the magical concealment of a secret inside a single living soul," Remus explained quickly to his friends.

"But if the secret was concealed, then how did you know who find them," asked Sirius.

"Well, you see, that's the tricky part.  James told Dumbledore that you would be his secret keeper."

"That's a lie," roared Sirius jumping up.  James and Remus caught his arms and forced him back into his seat.

"Would you calm down for a bloody second so I can finish," growled Hermione.  "It's that damn temper that got you in trouble all those years ago.  You're going to spend twelve years in Azkaban because of that temper.  As I was saying," she continued ignoring the three pairs of wide eyes staring in amazement at her.

"Sirius, you were supposed to be the Potter's secret keeper, but at the last minute there was a change.  Another wizard became the secret keeper and he betrayed you all."

"Peter," breathed Remus.  "It was Peter."

Hermione didn't answer.

"It was, wasn't it Hermione?"

Reluctantly, she nodded.

"So that's why you attacked him," said Sirius.  "That night, you said he was a murderer, that he killed them all.  You meant us, didn't you?"

"No," interrupted James, "that doesn't make any sense.  Peter would never be my second choice.  He is our friend, at least I thought…," he trailed off.  "No, my second choice would have been Remus."

"No," said Hermione.  "It was Peter."

"No," insisted James.

Hermione glanced at Remus and by the furrow in his brow she could see that he was working things out for himself.  "That's just not important," she said firmly.  "James, please, just let me finish."

"Anyway, it was Peter who became the secret keeper and he told Voldemort where to find you.  The next day Sirius caught up with Peter, but things went horribly wrong.  Peter screamed for the whole town to hear that you betrayed James and…," she paused.  "James," she finished lamely.  "And then he blew up the whole town, transformed and disappeared.  He killed twelve muggles that day."

"What," exclaimed James sounding disgusted?

"It was to make people believe that Sirius was an insane mass murderer.  It worked too.  The Ministry awarded Peter the Order of Merlin, First Class, and Sirius went to prison for twelve years."  Hermione stopped, she couldn't continue.

The boys just sat staring at her.  Nobody said a word for a full five minutes.

James was the first to speak.  "Lily's his mother, isn't she?"

Hermione said nothing.

"You told us everything else, why can't you just say that."

"Because it's important that Harry is born and if I tell you who his mother is then I could possibly stop it from happening.  I won't tell you who his mother is."

"Well, if that's what's in store for my family, I'm not going to have one."

Hermione looked stricken.  "James, I don't know how I can make you understand how important it is for Harry to be born.  He's just," she sighed and began to tear up.  "He's amazing.  I've never known anyone braver or kinder.  He's overcome more by his seventeenth birthday than most people will overcome in a lifetime.  He goes through things that would break an ordinary person.  He's gone up against Voldemort six times, not even Dumbledore can say that."

"Six times," exclaimed Remus.

"Yes," said Hermione with a touch of pride in her voice, "the first time when he's barely a year old and then five more times while he's at school."  Her eyes glazed over and she spoke very quietly, almost as if she was talking to herself.  "He almost didn't make it this last time.  If Ron hadn't gotten there… We were almost too late," she broke down, wiping tears from her face.

The boys didn't know what how to react.  They were all in a little bit of shock.

Eventually, Hermione was able to pull herself together.  She took a deep breath.  "I'm only alive and here today because of him.  He's saved my life more than a few times.  That's why I'm telling you this.  I don't care what I have to do, but I'm going to give him a life with both his parents and his godfather.  If we can stop Voldemort now then he'll never know the pain and loneliness that haunts his life."

"How," asked Remus?

"We strike now.  We don't wait.  I remember some of the bigger things that are going to happen, but more important, I know what nobody alive knows.  I know who the Death Eaters are."

"What's your plan," asked Sirius.

"We go to Dumbledore as soon as we get back and we insist that he start the Order now.  We don't wait, not even six months.  We have to start fighting now, while we're still in school."

"I'm in," said James quietly.  

Hermione reached out and grasped James's hand.  "I knew you would be."

"We're all in," said Sirius, coming up to them both.

"That's right," said Remus, joining the group.  "We'll all do this together."

James and Sirius eventually left Remus and Hermione alone in the room.  Hermione was still feeling a little shaken and they figured Remus's calming influence might help her relax.

"You feeling any better," asked Remus.

Hermione shrugged.  "I guess it just hit me all at once.  I mean, I know I'm never going back, but sometimes it's so hard to accept."

"I bet," said Remus sympathetically.

"You have to understand, Harry and Ron were the first boys I ever loved.  They were the best friends I could have ever had.  It's like what you have with James and Sirius."

"I didn't have any friends before James and Sirius," confessed Remus.  "Who'd want to be friends with me, considering?"

"I actually didn't have any friends before Harry and Ron either."  She laughed lightly.  "I was a bit of a nightmare.  Until I met Harry and Ron, I think I cared more for my books than I did for people.  I was just so determined to prove myself."

Remus laughed.

"Don't laugh at me," she scolded.  "Books are a lot easier to understand than people.

"I'm not laughing at you," assured Remus.  "I kind of know what you mean."

"I guess deep down we're both kind of prone to being loners," said Hermione.

"Maybe that's why we get on so well," said Remus.

"Yeah," agreed Hermione.  "I think you're right."

They smiled at each other.

"I feel a little better now."

"I'm glad.  Should we go downstairs then?"

"You go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, go ahead.  I'll be ok now."

The three boys wanted to leave for Hogwarts immediately and began to make arrangements to get back.  Hermione, after the long morning, felt exhausted and went to lay down for a bit.  She felt as if the weight of responsibility that had hung over her for days was lifting.  She didn't emerge from her room until dinner.

At the table, Mrs. Potter looked worriedly at her.  "Are you feeling ill, dear?"

"No, I'm ok," replied Hermione, her voice tired.  "I'm just a little worn out."

"It's no wonder.  All that studying and pressure, and now you four want to go back."

"I told you mom," said James.  "We have to study for the N.E.W.T.s and we need the library to do that."

"I know, dear.  I just don't like you so far from home, considering," she trailed off.

"Don't worry, mom, we'll be ok.  Besides we'll be at Hogwarts with Dumbledore.  Nothing will happen to us there."

"I know," she said resting her hand on James's shoulder.  "I don't know how you got so mature.  I still remember when you came up to my waist and were content to play with frogs and bugs and track in mud all over the house."

"Mom," said James warningly as Sirius and Remus began to snicker.

That night Hermione laid awake tossing and turning.  They had decided to leave in the morning by way of the Knight Bus.  She was not looking forward to the trip.  She was nervous about going to see Dumbledore.  He had warned her against revealing too much about the future and she had just about revealed everything.  She was also beginning to feel the weight of responsibility that had been lifting a few short hours ago begin to press back down on her.

Suddenly she heard a creak as the door to her room opened slightly.

"Hermione," came the whispered voice of Sirius.  "Are you awake?"

Hermione rolled over pulling her blanket up to her chin.  "Yeah, is something wrong?"

"No," he said, his silhouette framing the doorway.  "I just… I couldn't sleep and I wanted to ask you something."

Hermione sat up in bed.  "Come in before you wake the whole house up."

Sirius crept quietly in and closed the door behind him.  With the door closed the only light in the room was from the dim glow of the half moon.  Sirius sat at the edge of the bed and Hermione sat back against the headboard.  Neither spoke for a minute, then Sirius said, "Hermione, I have to know what happens to me in the future."

Hermione sighed.  "Hopefully nothing, now that you know it'll all change."

"I know, but I still need to know.  You said I spend twelve years in Azkaban.  Do I die there?"

"No," she said.  "Actually, you escape, the first person to ever escape, though not the last."

Sirius waited for her to continue.  She sighed again and went on.  "In my third year, you break out of Azkaban to go looking for Peter.  He was actually at Hogwarts posing as my friend Ron's rat.  You found out that he was in the same dorm room as James's son and you came to protect him and you did.  The details aren't important.  The point is, you expose Peter to Harry, Ron, Remus, and I and we're able to convince Dumbledore, but Peter escapes and you're forced to go into hiding.  Then, in our fifth year, well it's a bit complicated, but Voldemort lures Harry, all of us actually, into a trap and you come to save him and are killed.  It nearly destroyed him."

"Who?"

"Your godson, you became like a father to him and when you died, something in him died too.  He was never the same after that.  No matter what Ron and I said or did, he just couldn't bring himself to talk about it.  I was really angry with you for a long time."

"Why?"

"For risking your life," she said simply.  "It's irrational, I know, but we all suffered a lot after it happened.  Tonks told me later that Remus sunk into a depression for months."

"Tonks?  You don't mean Nymphadora, do you?"

"Oh, I forgot, she's your cousin."

"Yeah, she's much younger than me.  I haven't seen her in forever.  My family is a bit odd."

"Tell me about it."

"I get the feeling I don't have to," said Sirius wryly.

Hermione grinned, but it was lost in the dark room.

"Well I guess I better get back to bed," he said quietly.

"Ok," she said.  Sirius made to stand up, but Hermione caught his hand.  "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," he said slowly.  "It's just a lot to take in.  How can you stand knowing all of this is going to happen?"

"I can't.  Maybe if I hadn't gotten to know you all so well I might have been able to stay quiet about everything, but now," she shook her head.  "Everything will be ok now.  You don't have to worry."  She pulled him into a hug and went to kiss his cheek, but at the last second he turned and their lips met.

Hermione pulled away, embarrassed, but Sirius brought his hand up to her face and pulled her forward again pressing his lips firmly to hers.  Without quite realizing it, Hermione brought her arms up around his neck and returned the kiss.  His hand was stroking her cheek as his tongue lightly traced her bottom lip and he deepened the kiss and then as if waking from a dream he pulled away abruptly.  "Damn it," he whispered.  "I'm sorry," she said at the same time.

He got off the bed hastily.  "I better go."

"Yeah," she said softly.  She watched his retreating back as he left and closed the door behind him.  "Goodnight."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Wow!  Thanks so much for the reviews Spaced Out Space Cadet, hp101, Rane2920072, Mrs. N. Snape, Hearts, Dixi, SLytHeRiNcHiCk 101, SwurpleKitty, Amorette, Dyrim123, unicorngrl415, Raclswt, Haldirs-Wife, popppincorn and Horus.   

You've all been great and I love reading them.  I fully expect a flame or two because of this last chapter, but in the immortal words of Kirsten Dunst (I think it was her) "Bring It On!"  Now for a more personal note.  

Horus: Thanks for the e-mail.  I actually do like some of your ideas and funnily enough, I have a kind of ST: VOY solution to this story. (You non-Trekkers needn't worry.  It's still HP)  I know you might be a little weary of this last chapter because I had Hermione pretty much tell them everything and I have just completely screwed around with the whole time paradox issue, but it'll be ok.  I have everything under control.

Ok now that's enough hints.  Hope you liked the chapter and Review, Review, Review!!!


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning was a bit of a blur to Hermione.  She had stayed up for hours after Sirius had left.  Her mind had not let her rest.  Every time she had been close to sleep another stray thought wandered into her consciousness.  As a result, she had slept for a total of about two hours on and off.

"Couldn't sleep," asked Remus the next morning, taking note of the dark circles under her drooping eyes.  Hermione was bringing the few possessions she had to the boy's room.  Seeing as she didn't have a trunk, Remus had offered back at Hogwarts to share his with her.

"No, I guess not.  How about you?"

"Better than you by the looks of it, though I really didn't get too much sleep.  Actually I think James was the only one who got any real sleep.  I woke up at about one and Sirius wasn't even in the room."

Hermione didn't say anything, but felt distinctly uncomfortable.  She didn't want to think about Sirius or the kiss they had shared.  She had spent most of the night pushing that thought out of her head.  She felt guilty over what had happened although she wasn't quite sure why.  They hadn't done anything wrong.  Even so, Sirius had been avoiding her all morning as well.

In truth, she just felt more comfortable with Remus.  It might have been because out of all her friends he was the most familiar or the fact that they were so much alike.  

Hermione had always liked Professor Lupin very much.  She thought he was a good person, but she realized now that she hadn't come close to knowing the real Remus Lupin.  The seventeen year old Remus was good, but also kind, loyal, and intelligent, and most importantly he understood her in a way, though it pained her to admit, that Harry and Ron never had.  She felt in him a kindred spirit.

"Oy Remus!  Could you get down here already?  We're ready to go," Sirius called from below.  They headed downstairs, dragging the trunk behind them.  Mrs. Potter was hugging James and Sirius goodbye.  She turned as Remus and Hermione approached and gave them each a hug.

"You be careful now and send me an owl once you get to school."

"I will, mom," said James, kissing her on the cheek.  "Tell dad I said bye."

Sirius threw his wand arm out and with a bang the triple-decker purple Knight Bus appeared.

The four of them boarded the bus waving goodbye to Mrs. Potter.  The bus was pretty full and they couldn't find four seats together so they were forced to split up.  Hermione and Remus took the two front seats and James and Sirius made their way up to the second level where they found a pair of vacant seats.  With a bang the bus continued on its way.

Sirius was staring out the window at the passing trees. James looked at him curiously.  "What's up, Padfoot?"

"Nothing, Prongs.  Why do you ask?"

"Because you've been in a fog all morning, I know something's the matter."

Sirius looked at him intensely.  "You won't say anything?  I mean not to Moony, Wormtail, or Lily."

"Course not."

He paused, "I um… I kind of kissed Hermione last night," he finished painfully.

"What!?!" exclaimed James.  Sirius punched him on the shoulder.

"Sorry," he whispered rubbing his shoulder.  "When did that happen?"

"About one in the morning, in her room," said Sirius glumly.

"Why were you in her room at one in the morning?"

"Because I had to ask her a question and it just kind of happened."

"So," prompted James

"So what," returned Sirius?

"Did she kiss you back?"

"I don't know, I mean, I guess she did."

"Wow," said James simply.

"That's all you have to say," Sirius asked disgusted.

"I don't know what else to say.  Do you like her?"

"I don't know.  She's different."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean she's not like any of the other girls I've ever, you know, dated.  She reads like a book a day."

"Yeah and she's from the future."

"That too, plus there's Moony."

James didn't have to ask what he meant by that.  They had each felt that Remus was more than a little infatuated with her.  "So what are you going to do," James asked?

"I don't know, play it by ear, I guess."

"Maybe you don't have to do anything, you don't really know how you feel about her and you definitely don't know how she feels about you.  So just let whatever happens happen."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Course I am.  Don't worry.  It'll all work out."

"I hope so."

Downstairs, Remus and Hermione were talking animatedly on the absurdity of taking Divination when the alternative was the study of ancient Runes or Arithmancy.

"You're so right," Hermione laughed.  "I could never convince Ron or Harry what a waste of time divination was."

"I can't believe you just walked out of class in the middle of the year," Remus said admiringly.  "I don't think I'd ever have the guts to do that."

"It's just that our teacher was such an old fraud.  I mean she must have told Harry he would die a tragic death at least twice a class.  It was such a waste of time."

Remus laughed.  "I know, but I still don't agree with you about Arithmancy being better than Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"You would if you had the professors we had."

"Really," said Remus interestedly.

"Yeah, our first year we had a professor who was possessed by Voldemort and in our second year we had this fraud who thought his day wasn't complete until he had signed at least fifty autographs.  Then in our fourth year, we had this lunatic who kidnapped the real professor and took Polyjuice Potion all year to pretend to be him and the year after that we had some crackpot power-hungry spy from the Ministry."

"Wait, what about your third year," interrupted Remus.  "You skipped that one."

"Actually," grinned Hermione.  "Third year was probably the best professor, except for the fact that he disappeared once a month,"

"Disappeared?  Why?"

Hermione leaned in and whispered in his ear, "because he was a werewolf."

Remus whipped his head around and starred at Hermione's broad grin.  Then he laughed.  "I was wondering."

"Wondering what," she asked?

"How you knew me in your former life.  How you knew about my uh… condition."

"Well, now you know.  You were my professor."

Remus smiled.  "It's good to know."

"What is," asked Hermione?

"That people become more accepting about difference in the future."

Hermione's smile faded.

"Things must be better if I can be open about who I am."

"Not exactly, Remus," she said sadly.  "Nobody else really knew until the end of the year.  But even after people found out the students all said you were the best Defense teacher we ever had.  Well, except the Slytherins, but you know how they are."

Remus smiled again, but this time it was a little sadder.  They sat in silence for a few minutes.  Then Remus said in a very serious voice, "you do realize you have to call me Professor Lupin now."

Hermione grinned, then said seriously, "yes, sir."

When they arrived at Hogwarts the butterflies began circling in Hermione's stomach.  She wasn't sure how Dumbledore was going to react.

"Let's not dawdle," James said.  "Let's just go see Dumbledore now."

The others agreed and made their way to his office, but before they arrived they met the very person they were looking for.

"Hello," he said.  "You're all back early."

"Yes, sir," said James.  "We have something important we need to speak to you about."

"I gathered, seeing as you're back a whole two weeks early.  We can speak in my office."

They assembled around the desk in his office and the boys all looked at Hermione.  She took a deep breath and began.  "We wanted to talk to you about the Order of the Phoenix."

Dumbledore looked at Hermione with a hard penetrating stare.  Hermione nearly lost her nerve to continue.  Then she felt a hand reach out and entwine itself around hers.  She looked to her left to see Remus's smiling face.  The smile and continued pressure from his hand gave her the courage to plow forward.

"We need to start the work of the Order now.  We can't wait."

Dumbledore maintained his penetrating gaze on her.  "I suppose I don't have to ask how you know about this, although I am saddened that the Orders services will be necessary twenty years from now."

"They're needed more than ever in my time.  Which is why we've come to see you, sir, I think I can ensure that we can stop Voldemort once and for all."

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore began, raising his hand to interrupt her.  "I appreciate your desire to help, but it would be irresponsible to use your knowledge of the future to try and affect the outcome of the war."

"Why," asked Hermione?

"For one thing," explained Dumbledore, "changing the future in any way could endanger your life."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

"I surmised that, but it is not a risk you have the right to take for others."

"Professor, I'm sorry, but I can't agree with that.  We're losing the war and we're losing people and you're going to find the price for ignoring the information I have is too high."

Dumbledore said nothing.

"I couldn't live with myself if I let it happen all over again.  I can't stand by and do nothing again."

"Again," Dumbledore asked?

Hermione nodded.  "This isn't the first time I've jumped into the past."  Hermione could feel the three boy's eyes on her and even Dumbledore regarded her with curiosity.  "In my third year I was given special permission to use a time turner to attend multiple classes at the same time.  At the end of the year something happened or rather was about to happen and you sent James's son Harry and I back three hours to prevent it.  During that jump Harry and I had the opportunity to change something else and I wouldn't let him do it. Because I was so intent on following rules instead of doing what was right, Voldemort came back."  She paused.  "If you ignore me now, you'll know all too well the weight of responsibility that hangs on my shoulders, but it will be too late."

"Miss Granger, believe me I understand your desire to save lives But, what you're talking about doing, even though it comes from a desire to save lives, could have tragic consequences, consequences you cannot foresee."

"You sent us back to save Sirius's life," she said flatly.  "I want to use my circumstances to save James.  I don't see how our situations are any different.  The only real difference is that while we could only save one person then, I can save dozens now, the Potters, the Blacks, the Crouch's, the Diggory's, the Bones's.  I could go on.  You'll be hard pressed to find a wizarding family in my time that hasn't lost somebody to Voldemort.  Please," she begged. "Let me help you give them a chance."

The room was silent.

"Professor," began James, but Dumbledore raised his hand to silence him.

"I will give the matter very serious thought, Miss Granger."

"Thank you," she breathed relaxing into her seat.

"I must urge you, however, to think long about this as well."

"I will sir."

"And please, all of you, for Miss Granger's own safety, do not repeat any of what you have learned to anybody else."  He turned to Hermione.  "I realize you had your reasons for disclosing certain things to your new friends, but if someone less trustworthy should discover your secret, your life would be in very grave danger."

They could all sense the meeting was over and stood.  The boys made their way to the door, but Hermione hung back.

"Sir," she began hesitatingly.  "I just wanted you to know that I have always respected you immensely and would never defy you.  I want you to know that I do trust you and I hope in time that you will come to feel the trust in me that you do twenty years from now."

"I will be proud, regardless of my decision, to have you fight beside me, Hermione," he said smiling kindly at her.  "Your courage and loyalty make me proud to know you."

"Thank you, sir," she said and left his office.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Just a quick thank you to all my reviewers, you're the best.  Hope you liked this chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

When they had all reached the empty common room they gathered on the couches around the fire.  
  
"Now what?" asked Sirius.  
  
"We wait," said Hermione simply.  
  
"I think that went well," said Remus.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Hermione. "At least he didn't say no right away."  
  
"Did you expect him to," asked Remus?  
  
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know what I expected. I just know that I can't sit by and do nothing."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us that you had jumped back in time before," asked Sirius?  
  
"I don't know," said Hermione. "To be honest, I'm not really sure how much I should tell you. Dumbledore's right. It could be dangerous."  
  
"You said you went back in time to save my life," persisted Sirius.  
  
"Yeah, we did," replied Hermione uncomfortably.  
  
"Maybe we should drop this," said Remus coming to her rescue.  
  
She smiled gratefully at him.  
  
Sirius, who was sitting on the edge of his seat, slumped back as if he didn't care one way or another, but Hermione could tell he was annoyed.  
  
"I'm hungry," said James. "You guys want to come nick some food from the kitchen?"  
  
"Sure," said Sirius easily.  
  
"No thanks," said Hermione. "I'm not that hungry."  
  
"Coming, Moony?" asked Sirius from the entranceway.  
  
"Um, no," stuttered Remus. "Thanks anyway."  
  
"Suit yourself," said James, disappearing. Sirius looked from Remus to Hermione before following James out.  
  
"Aren't you hungry," Hermione asked Remus after the others had left?  
  
"I'm ok," said Remus.  
  
"Ok," replied Hermione. They sat quietly for several seconds before Hermione let out a chuckle.  
  
"What," asked Remus curiously?  
  
"It's nothing," Hermione shook her head smiling; "It's just James and Sirius."  
  
"What about them?"  
  
"They just remind me of Ron and Harry so much."  
  
"Do you miss them a lot?"  
  
Hermione nodded. "So much," she said her voice cracking.  
  
"You talk about them more than you talk about your family."  
  
"They are my family," said Hermione suddenly feeling defensive, but not quite sure why.  
  
"Did you spend a lot of time with them?" asked Remus carefully.  
  
"Almost all my time, the truth is, I've been home maybe four or five weeks total in the last two years. I spend my Christmas's and Easter's with Ron and Harry here at Hogwarts ad I've spent most of the last few summers either at the Burrow or Order headquarters. I probably see more of Ron's mum and dad than I do my own." She paused sadly. "I haven't been a very good daughter."  
  
Remus moved closer to her. "I'm sure that's not true," he said gently.  
  
"It's just been so hard to get home," she said feeling her throat tighten uncomfortably. "My mum and dad are great, really, but they just don't know."  
  
"They're muggles, right?"  
  
"Yeah," she said softly. "I suppose most muggle-borns go through the same things."  
  
"It must be hard growing up in two different worlds," said Remus sympathetically.  
  
"I wouldn't say it's hard," began Hermione. "Not exactly, it's just that after awhile you get so tired of lying. I guess it's more lonely than anything else. I don't know," she sighed, the frustration evident in her voice. "I feel guilty for lying to my parents about everything's that going on, but if I told the truth, they'd really worry or worse, they'd force me to come home. But when I am home I just feel guilty for being there. It's calm and quiet, no one knows that there's this whole other world among them fighting for its survival."  
  
"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself," said Remus. "There's only so much you can do."  
  
Hermione rested her head in one hand. "Sometimes I just get so tired."  
  
"You look tired now," said Remus in concern. "Maybe you should go and get some rest. It'll be nice and quiet in your room.  
  
"No," dismissed Hermione. "There's too much to do. I have to start gathering my thoughts together. I want to be ready when Dumbledore calls for the Order."  
  
"What if he doesn't," asked Remus? "What if he waits?"  
  
"He won't," said Hermione firmly. "He can't. Too much is at stake."  
  
"But he might, Hermione," insisted Remus. "He's right about one thing. This could be very dangerous for you. If you're not careful, you could wipe yourself out of existence."  
  
"If it stopped Voldemort it would be worth it," she said firmly. "Besides, I'm not really supposed to be here. For God sakes, I'm not even born yet, I doubt I'm a thought in my parents mind. Nobody would even miss me if anything like that happened."  
  
"I would," said Remus. "I mean, we all would." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Hermione, I don't want anything to happen to you." They looked intently at each other.  
  
"Remus, I...," she trailed off.  
  
"What?" asked Remus quietly.  
  
She ducked her head shyly. "Thank you. You know, you really haven't changed a bit or I guess I should say you won't change a bit." She laughed. "I can't seem to get my tenses right."  
  
Remus laughed too. "So, tell me. Were you and I close?"  
  
"I don't know that I'd say close. You were a lot older than me, but I did admire you a lot. You were one of my favorite professors. I don't know," said Hermione leaning back on the couch. "You really didn't seem to want to let anyone get too close to you. You kept to yourself mostly, although, you did spend a lot of time with Harry."  
  
Remus shrugged. "It's kind of hard knowing who you can trust," he said defensively.  
  
Hermione reached out and touched his shoulder. "I don't think you're like that now, with me. You trust me."  
  
Remus's eyes were settled where Hermione's hand lay.  
  
"Remus?"  
  
"Huh," he said jerking his head up.  
  
"You do trust me, don't you?" Suddenly Hermione wasn't sure if she was prepared to hear the answer to that question."  
  
"Yeah, yeah I trust you," he said softly.  
  
She smiled in relief. "I'm glad."  
  
Her hand fell slowly from his shoulder down his arm. Remus turned his hand over and took hold of her hand. They sat quietly together, holding hands and smiling shyly at each other.  
  
"I'm really glad you're here, Hermione," he said after awhile.  
  
They were interrupted when the portrait swung open admitting James and Sirius.  
  
"We're back," sang James, who was carrying a plump brown bag and a bottle of pumpkin juice. Hermione and Remus started and Remus got off the couch.  
  
Sirius looked between Hermione and Remus. "Are we interrupting anything," he asked coolly. Hermione shot him a look and Remus turned away uncomfortably.  
  
"I think I'm going to go to the library," Remus mumbled, getting up. He cleared his throat. "Do you want to come with me, Hermione, to study?"  
  
"Ok," she said quickly, getting up and following Remus out.  
  
"What about your books," Sirius yelled after them, but Remus and Hermione had already left. He crossed his arms and turned moodily around only to be confronted by James's smirking face.  
  
"What," asked Sirius crossly?  
  
"Nothing," said James, raising his hands. "I didn't say a thing."  
  
Sirius crossed the room and threw himself on the couch. "So," he began, trying to sound casual. "What do you think they were talking about?"  
  
"I don't know," said James, tossing the bag of food at Sirius.  
  
Sirius wasn't paying attention and the bag hit him in the middle of his chest and fell into his lap.  
  
"Hey, watch it."  
  
"Sorry," said James, not sounding a bit sorry. "I'm bored," he said after awhile. "Do you want to go to the Quidditch Pitch?"  
  
Sirius didn't answer.  
  
"Oy, Padfoot."  
  
"What," asked Sirius annoyed?  
  
"Do you want to go to the Quidditch Pitch," repeated James like he was talking to a rather slow six-year-old.  
  
"Oh, yeah sure," agreed Sirius getting up.  
  
The boys left the Gryffindor common room and made their way out of the castle. They were outside and taking the shortcut by the lake, when both James and Sirius were surprised to see Remus and Hermione.  
  
They were sitting by the lake very close to each other. Remus was leaning in and talking quietly to Hermione, who was laughing softly. Then to James and Sirius's shock, Remus reached up and touched Hermione's face gently.  
  
James immediately felt like they were invading their privacy and tried to pull Sirius back, but he resisted. Sirius walked with deliberation toward the pair.  
  
"Hey, you two," said Sirius casually. Remus and Hermione started and looked up at Sirius. "Got a bit side tracked from the library, huh?"  
  
"You could say that," said Remus, smiling at Hermione.  
  
Hermione looked apprehensively at each of the three boys in turn.  
  
"Where are you guys headed?" asked Remus standing up. He reached down and took hold of Hermione's hands and pulled her to her feet.  
  
"Quidditch Pitch," answered Sirius. "Why don't you guys come with us? We're going flying."  
  
"Do you want to, Hermione?" asked Remus.  
  
"I don't fly, actually. I mean, I haven't, not since my first year.  
  
"You don't fly," said Sirius incredulously.  
  
"We'll teach you," said James, coming forward.  
  
"No," protested Hermione.  
  
"Oh come on," said James excitedly. "It's the best."  
  
"No, really, I'm just not comfortable on a broom. Why don't you guys go and I'll watch."  
  
"Are you sure?" asked Remus.  
  
"Of course," said Hermione smiling brightly. They trudged over to the Quidditch field and the boys went to get their brooms out of the locker room. Hermione settled herself in the stands and watched as the boys flew around passing a Quaffle between the three of them. They all flew well, but Hermione couldn't help noticing just how well James flew. There was no question where Harry got his talent from.  
  
"Hermione," said Professor Dumbledore, approaching her from the side.  
  
"Professor," she said getting up.  
  
"Please, sit down Hermione. May I join?"  
  
"Yes, of course," she slid over unnecessarily, seeing as she was the only one in the stand.  
  
Dumbledore settled himself next to her and the two watched the boys fly for awhile or rather Hermione watched the boys and Dumbledore watched Hermione.  
  
All three boys flew rather aggressively and Hermione couldn't help gasping a few times when she was certain the boys were heading straight for collisions with each other.  
  
"They fly well," observed Dumbledore.  
  
"I suppose," said Hermione biting her bottom lip nervously. "It just makes me nervous."  
  
"So you don't fly yourself then," asked Dumbledore?  
  
"Not if I can help it."  
  
"You didn't strike me as a person who was afraid of anything," said Dumbledore.  
  
"Yeah, well, we all have something, right?" Hermione looked away from the boys to Dumbledore. "In my third year, I saw my best friend fall fifty feet off a broom. He was nearly killed. I've never been quite comfortable watching people fly since." She laughed, "of course, nearly being killed didn't stop him from getting right back on another broom. He's just a bit fearless."  
  
"You speak about your friends with a great deal of passion, yet you seem so attached to your new ones. I wonder if you would choose to go home if you could."  
  
Hermione looked sharply at Dumbledore. "Why? Can I?"  
  
A look of regret passed over Dumbledore's face. "No, I'm sorry dear. I didn't mean to imply..."  
  
"Forget it," said Hermione quickly. "I think I've just about made peace with the fact that I'm staying here. In fact, I can see that there's going to be a point in the very near future when I'm not going to want to go back even if I do have the choice," the words fell from her lips without her realizing she was saying them. She wondered when it had happened.  
  
Dumbledore regarded her. "You've been here nearly four months now. When did it start to feel like home?"  
  
Hermione looked back into the sky at the boys. Remus swept near to her and waved. She smiled and waved back. "Today," she answered.  
  
Dumbledore looked up in the direction of Hermione's gaze. "Mr. Lupin is very special."  
  
Hermione blushed. "They all are."  
  
"Hermione," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you considered that getting so emotionally attached to the boys may be clouding your judgment?"  
  
"I know it is," she said honestly. "Believe me Professor, I tried to play by the rules, I really did. I know the laws against tampering with time, but sir," she turned and looked Dumbledore in the eyes. "Why should we play by the rules if no one else does? The older I get and the more I see, the more I realize that there are no rules in life, just boundaries and limitations we place on ourselves."  
  
"Yes," agreed Dumbledore. "But it is those limitations that distinguish us from them."  
  
She considered his words and had no argument.  
  
"I was sitting in my office considering what we talked about earlier and I realized I had many questions for you," said Dumbledore.  
  
"You can ask me any question you like," offered Hermione.  
  
"I appreciate that," he said smiling. "What I am most curious to know is the exact nature of your relationship with James, Sirius, and Remus in the future."  
  
Hermione thought it was an odd question to begin with, but answered without reservation. "James is my best friend's father, but he died... dies when Harry is a baby. I'd never met him before I came here. Sirius is Harry's godfather. I can't honestly say that I had a relationship with him, we were only connected through Harry."  
  
"Were?"  
  
"Sirius was killed by a Death Eater almost two years ago from my point of view."  
  
"And Remus," Dumbledore prompted.  
  
Hermione smiled. "Remus used to be my professor."  
  
"I see," said Dumbledore. "Hermione why are you so adamant about doing this? You're slowly eradicating the world you know. By the little you've done already, I fear you've already changed it beyond recognition."  
  
"I realize that," she said. "But I can't watch them die. I really would do anything to save them all, even if it meant sacrificing myself."  
  
"If I'm being honest with you, Hermione, it worries me how willing you seem to be to die protecting them."  
  
"I suppose that once you're willing to do it for one person, it becomes easier to be willing to do it for others."  
  
"And who were you first willing to do it for?"  
  
She smiled sadly, "the first people who was willing to do it for me." She closed her eyes, lost in her memories. "Ron thought I was an insufferable know-it-all, I'm not sure what Harry thought, but when I needed them they were there. I still wonder sometimes if we would have been friends if it weren't for that damn troll." She opened her eyes to see Dumbledore staring at her and blushed. "Sorry," she mumbled.  
  
Dumbledore smiled and accepted the answer without further questioning.  
  
"Don't get me wrong," she said, feeling the need to explain herself. "I don't want to die. I've just lived with the possibility so long, that if does happen, I want it to mean something." She paused. "I don't think that's wrong," she said uncertainly.  
  
"No, it's not wrong to want your life to have meaning."  
  
"I'm a little selfish too," admitted Hermione. "I'm tired of fighting. I want this over."  
  
She returned to watching the boys fly. "Oh, watch it," she whispered more to herself than anyone else as Remus swerved between James and Sirius. It didn't escape Dumbledore's notice how her eyes followed Remus as he looped and dove over the Quidditch field.  
  
"Besides," she smiled. "I really do love them. It didn't take any effort at all. Do you think that's wrong, to be so attached to all of them?"  
  
"No, it's never wrong to love someone. Understand, Hermione that it isn't only you that I'm concerned about. I worry about what will happen to the boys if I changed my plans. I suppose I feel a little protective of all the boys, but especially Remus. He's been through a lot."  
  
"You have no idea," said Hermione softly. She smiled again as Remus made another pass just over her.  
  
"Hermione, I've decided that while I won't allow any of you to take part in anything serious before you graduate, it would be foolish of me not to use your knowledge of the future in our favor."  
  
Hermione whipped around and stared at Dumbledore with wide eyes. "Really!"  
  
"Yes," he smiled sadly, "although I do so with a great deal of trepidation. Hermione you may be the only other person who knows what a tenuous situation we're in right now."  
  
"Yes, I do, but I know we can do this." Her heart was racing with adrenaline. "I can tell you anything you want, where the Death Eaters are going to strike, who they are. There are some here now, at Hogwarts."  
  
"I know you're eager, but I must remind you, that we cannot use your knowledge directly against the Death Eaters."  
  
"But you just said..."  
  
"Hermione," interrupted Dumbledore. "What I mean is that your testimony against the Death Eaters will be worthless to anyone but me. I cannot risk exposing your true identity to anyone in our world. If people knew where you came from, your life would be in terrible danger."  
  
"I'm not afraid," protested Hermione.  
  
"You've already proven that, but if Voldemort was aware of the knowledge you possess, he would most certainly do anything in his power to get at it. Do you understand what I'm saying Hermione? Voldemort stops at nothing to get what he wants. He destroys what he wants and kills whoever stands in his way."  
  
"Of all people, you don't need to tell me that," she said slowly. "But if we can't expose the Death Eaters, what good is what I know?"  
  
"There's plenty we can still do behind the scenes. We'll watch who we have to and be ready before they strike."  
  
Hermione relaxed in her seat. "I don't know how to thank you, sir."  
  
"You don't have to. I think it is I who should thank you." Dumbledore stood. "We'll talk about details tomorrow morning. Don't stay out too late, it'll be dark soon."  
  
"We won't. Good night, sir."  
  
"Good night, Hermione."  
  
The boys flew for only fifteen more minutes before touching down. They tramped over to Hermione, sweaty and out of breath.  
  
"Ready to go?" she asked.  
  
"Definitely," said Sirius shivering in the night air. They all turned and walked back to the castle.  
  
"Dumbledore came to see me while you were flying," said Hermione.  
  
All three boys immediately stopped and Hermione laughed, but continued walking. They ran to catch up with her.  
  
"What did he say?" asked James.  
  
"He said that he'll use the information I know," she sighed happily.  
  
"Does that mean we're in the Order?" asked Sirius excitedly.  
  
"No," said Hermione. "He says we can't do anything serious until we're out of school, but at least Dumbledore will be doing something. He said that we would talk in the morning."  
  
They reached Gryffindor tower and stood silently in the common room. "I guess we should all get some sleep. It's been a long day." She turned and went upstairs to her own room.  
  
"Night," called the three boys, before heading for the showers.  
  
"This is amazing," said Sirius.  
  
"Yeah," agreed James. "It doesn't feel real to me yet."  
  
"Just wait until we have to start dodging curses," said Remus bitterly. "Then it will feel real."  
  
"What's the matter with you, Moony?" asked James.  
  
"The two of you are treating this like its some grand adventure and meanwhile Hermione's the one putting her head in the noose."  
  
"Hey," said Sirius. "We don't think it's a game."  
  
"Yeah well, have either of you stopped to think how much danger Hermione's putting herself in?"  
  
"She's a big girl, Moony. She knows what she's doing," replied Sirius.  
  
"I wish I could be as cavalier as you are," said Remus. "But I happen to really care about her."  
  
Sirius glanced at James with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"You can keep your insinuations to yourself, Padfoot," said Remus.  
  
"I wasn't insinuating anything, Moony."  
  
"Whatever," said Remus turning away.  
  
"Remus," said Sirius. "Can I ask you a question?"  
  
Remus sighed. "Yeah, go ahead."  
  
He cleared his throat. "What exactly is going on between you and Hermione?"  
  
"The same thing that's going on between the two of you," said Remus. "Absolutely nothing," he said, but under his breath so neither James or Sirius heard. "I'm going to take a shower," he said before disappearing.  
  
James whistled. "Man, he's got it bad."  
  
"I'm going to take a shower too," said Sirius sullenly, ignoring James.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, dyrim, Hearts, Reene, LinNicole, Rebel Witch7, Raclswt, Laura, solar, Dixi, tash6, Spaced Out Space Cadet, Butterbeeraholic (Both? I'm sure our girl could handle them both, but I'm not sure I'm up to writing it, sigh...), Mrs. N. Snape, Horus (by the way, no it's not that episode. If I told it would give it away, he he he.), unicorngrl415, Rane2920072, and Li-chan. You're all the best. 


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of the Christmas break passed in a flurry of activity. Hermione met with Dumbledore nearly everyday. The boys, much to their frustration, were not allowed in these meetings. When they asked Hermione pointed questions, she always said the same thing. "You'll find out soon enough."  
  
Between her meetings with Dumbledore and studying for the upcoming N.E.W.T.'s, Hermione kept herself very busy. She was often up and out of Gryffindor tower before the boys woke up and more days than not they had to hunt her down.  
  
"We are still on break," said Sirius sitting down in front of her one morning. They had found Hermione in the library, as they usually did first thing in the morning.  
  
"And the N.E.W.T.'s are still coming in less than five months," she replied, setting down her book. "I'm not bugging you guys to study, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to."  
  
James took a seat next to Sirius. "It's not as if you don't already know all of this."  
  
"I don't," said Hermione. "There's still so much to learn. By the way," she said glancing around. "Where's Remus."  
  
"Full moon last night," said James. "He's in the hospital wing, resting."  
  
Hermione frowned and flipped to her calendar. She checked the day and sure enough, the night before was circled. "Wow, I can't believe I let the time get away from me." She looked up at James and Sirius. "Did you all do anything last night?"  
  
James and Sirius grinned at each other. "That, my dear, is a Marauder's secret," said Sirius.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Has he seemed off to you guys lately?"  
  
"He's always a bit worn out a few days before the full moon," said James.  
  
"No, that's not what I mean. It's just that he seems to be avoiding me."  
  
Sirius shrugged. "I hadn't noticed anything."  
  
"I guess he has been a bit moody lately," said James at the same time.  
  
"I didn't think he was the moody type," commented Hermione.  
  
"He's usually not," said James.  
  
"Maybe you guys should talk to him," said Hermione. "You're his best friends."  
  
"I'm sure he'll be fine," said Sirius.  
  
"Oh God, boys are all the same," said Hermione in disgust. "You tell them to talk and they brush you off. Forget it, both of you. I'll find out what's wrong with him by myself." She gathered her books and shoved them into her bag, before leaving the library.  
  
She went straight to the hospital wing and saw Remus lying on one of the hospital beds. She went to his bedside and set her bag down.  
  
"Hi," he said smiling slightly and sitting up in bed. "I didn't expect any visitors this morning."  
  
"I thought you might be lonely," she returned. "I forgot last night was the full moon," she confessed.  
  
"Wish I could have," he replied.  
  
"I bet," she laughed.  
  
"It's not so bad, really."  
  
"I suppose one could get used to almost anything if they had to."  
  
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, then spoke at the same time.  
  
"Hermione," began Remus.  
  
"Remus, I..." said Hermione.  
  
They both laughed. "You go," said Hermione.  
  
"No, go ahead," said Remus.  
  
"Well, I was just wondering... That is... Are you doing ok?"  
  
"Yes," said Remus in surprise. "Why?"  
  
"You've just been awfully quiet lately. I thought maybe you were upset with me or something," she finished lamely. "It's stupid, forget it."  
  
"No, it's not stupid," said Remus quickly. "I have been kind of distracted lately, but it's not you."  
  
"Oh, well good," said Hermione. "Because you know, you could come and talk to me if anything was bothering you."  
  
Remus smiled. "I know. Thanks."  
  
They sat in silence again, before Hermione said. "So what was it you were going to say?"  
  
"Oh... I... I forget."  
  
"Oh, ok," said Hermione quietly. She looked around the empty hospital wing. "I guess I should go. You should rest."  
  
"Ok," said Remus, feeling disappointed. "See you at dinner."  
  
"Yeah," said Hermione, picking up her bag and swinging it over her shoulder. "See you at dinner."  
  
She was walking toward the door, when Remus's called out for her. "Hermione." She turned. "Would you let me teach you how to fly?"  
  
"Ok," she said before thinking.  
  
He smiled widely. "Great. Tomorrow?"  
  
"Ok," she said again. She turned again and left the hospital wing, her heart banging in her chest, but oddly enough it wasn't because she had just agreed to get on a broom tomorrow.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Remus and Hermione were standing on the Quidditch Pitch the next day. Hermione kept crossing and uncrossing her arms nervously, something that didn't escape Remus's notice.  
  
"Don't be nervous," he laughed.  
  
"I can't help it," she moaned. "I can't believe I agreed to let you teach me how to fly. What was I thinking?"  
  
"That you trusted me."  
  
She sighed. "I trust you, I just don't trust that broom."  
  
"Well I'll be in control of the broom."  
  
"I guess," she said uncertainly.  
  
"Come on," he said reaching out and taking her hand. "I won't let anything happen to you."  
  
She let him help her on the broom and settled himself in front of her. "I'll be in front first so you can get used to the feel of the broom, then we'll switch."  
  
"Ok," she said. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and rested her forehead between his shoulder blades. "I'm ready," she said, but her voice was strained.  
  
Remus smiled widely and kicked off the ground. They soared high over the Quidditch Pitch. Hermione grasped his waist tighter. "You ok back there?"  
  
"Mm Hm," said Hermione.  
  
"Are your eyes open?"  
  
She laughed. "Yes, they're open."  
  
"Do you feel ok?"  
  
"Yes, but you're not going to do anything crazy are you."  
  
"Like what," asked Remus mischievously.  
  
"Like that wonki faint thingy."  
  
Remus burst out laughing and let the broom drop a few feet. Hermione gave a little scream and held Remus tighter. "Remus," she shrieked.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
"Oh I never say it right," said Hermione. "You know that drop thingy."  
  
"I've never heard of that," said Remus as he circled the broom around the three hoops.  
  
"It's a Quidditch move. I guess no one's ever done it in this time."  
  
"We could try it if you want," Remus offered jokingly.  
  
"No," Hermione laughed. "No, that's ok."  
  
They flew for a little while longer in silence. Occasionally, Remus purposely made a move that caused Hermione to grip him tighter, but mostly he flew steadily. "So," said Remus after a while. "Are you ready to switch places?"  
  
"Not really," said Hermione, but Remus was already landing them.  
  
"Ok," he said. "Now you're in front and I'll be right behind you."  
  
Hermione settled on the broom and felt Remus come up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and waited. Before she could lose her nerve, she kicked off the ground and they soared through the air.  
  
"Ok," said Remus. "Try leveling the broom out and just hover."  
  
Hermione pulled the broom handle up, but instead of maintaining their altitude, they rose several feet.  
  
"No," said Remus placing one hand over hers. "More like this." He applied pressure to her hand and they evened out. "There you go."  
  
"I think that's you," said Hermione.  
  
"You're doing fine. Just relax."  
  
Hermione took a deep breath and settled herself against Remus's chest. Remus leaned forward and brushed her hair to the side, his fingers grazing her neck. Hermione held her breath when he poked his head over her shoulder. They had never been in such close contact with each other and for a while Hermione forgot they were even in the air.  
  
"If you want to go forward," said Remus in her ear. "You have to just lean into the broom." He moved forward pressing her into the broom and they began coasting down the field. "Then when you want to turn," he leaned to the left and applied pressure to her hand and waist to do the same. Their bodies were molded together. It was if they were flying as one. They were so close she could feel his heart beating. It was going as fast as hers.  
  
"See you're doing it," he said softly. After about a half hour of flying around the field, he asked if she was ready to land.  
  
"Yes," she said quickly. She felt like she hadn't had a proper breath since they took off.  
  
"You did really well," said Remus. Once they had landed, they had decided to walk around the lake.  
  
"You're lying," laughed Hermione. "I'm crap on a broom and you know it."  
  
"You just lack confidence," said Remus. "To be honest, I find that really surprising."  
  
"Why?" asked Hermione.  
  
Remus shrugged. "You never seem to doubt yourself. Why would something as simple as flying throw you so much?"  
  
"It doesn't throw me," she said defensively. "I just don't like it."  
  
Remus laughed. "You don't like it. I can't believe I'm hearing this from the girl who wants to take on you-know-who. Who would have guessed anything frightened you?"  
  
Hermione bit her bottom lip, looking rather confused. "You don't think things frighten me?" she asked slowly.  
  
"You don't act like it," said Remus, and suddenly there was an edge to his voice.  
  
Hermione didn't understand the sudden change in his mood. "What's the matter with you? You haven't been yourself since we got back to school. Are you upset with me?"  
  
"No," said Remus immediately. "That'd be pretty stupid of me, wouldn't it? Who would be mad at the girl willing to risk her life to save the world?"  
  
"Stop it," said Hermione angrily. "Why are you acting like this? Do you honestly believe I have a choice in this? Would you have me let them die again?"  
  
"No, but you've already stopped that. Why can't you just leave it there?"  
  
"Because I can't," yelled Hermione.  
  
"I don't understand why," he shouted back."  
  
Hermione crossed her arms and frowned. "That's right, you don't understand."  
  
Remus sighed, letting his shoulders drop. "I'm sorry," he said, wondering why he had picked a fight with her. "I didn't mean to upset you."  
  
"Forget it," said Hermione, resuming her walk around the lake.  
  
"No wait," said Remus, trotting to catch up. "I mean it. I'm really sorry."  
  
She kept walking. "I said forget it."  
  
Remus reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her around to face him. He was surprised to see tears threatening to fall from her eyes. He stared down at her unable to speak. She took a deep breath and one tear fell slowly down her cheek. Without thinking he reached out and wiped it away. She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. Remus could only stare at her. She was so beautiful, standing there so close to him. He wanted to kiss her so desperately, but he just stood there, staring.  
  
After a few seconds, Hermione opened her eyes and stepped away from him. She turned her face, feeling embarrassed.  
  
"Wait a minute," said Remus. He was determined not to let the moment pass. He pulled Hermione back to him and gave her a soft kiss. He pulled back and looked at her uncertainly.  
  
After a few seconds, she gave him a small smile. "I was wondering if you were ever going to do that," she said, before reaching up and pulling him toward her for another kiss.  
  
"Come with me," said Hermione softly, once they had separated. She took Remus by the hand and pulled him away from the lake. They walked hand in hand to the castle.  
  
"Where are we going?" he asked.  
  
"I want to show you something," she said simply. She led him to the seventh floor. "Stay there," she commanded him.  
  
"Hermione," he began.  
  
"Wait," she said. "I'm not sure if this is going to work."  
  
"What?"  
  
She walked past the wall opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy three times. Remus gasped as a large door with a brass handle appeared.  
  
Hermione pulled the door open, feeling a rush of excitement and they walked in. Hermione clapped her hands together gleefully. Remus stared around the room, feeling a bit unsure.  
  
"It worked," she said happily. "I wasn't sure if it would."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about," laughed Remus. "Where are we? I've never been in this room before."  
  
"We call this the Room of Requirements," she said happily. She moved around the room touching and picking up things. There was the table full of Sneakoscopes, the large foe glass, minus the crack, was against the wall and the floor was littered with large cushions.  
  
Remus watched her for a minute. Her eyes were closed and she seemed lost in a memory. He wandered over to one of the book shelves lining the walls and examined the titles. "These are all defense books," commented Remus.  
  
"Mm Hm," she hummed.  
  
"Hermione, why did you bring me here?" he asked.  
  
Hermione crossed the room and took his hand. She pulled him into the middle of the room and sat cross-legged on the floor. "Sit," she commanded and he did.  
  
"Tell me about this place," he asked.  
  
"This is the only piece of home I have. I tried coming once before, but it didn't work."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"This place isn't always here. It only appears when you have a real need for it."  
  
"You needed a room full of defensive books and dark detectors?"  
  
"I needed you to see it. This is how I'm going to make you understand why I'm doing what I'm doing."  
  
"How?"  
  
"It was in this room that the war began to feel real to me. In our fifth year, just after Voldemort came back, the Ministry began to take a more active role in the school. The Minister of Magic placed a teacher in the Defense Against the Dark Arts position who was little more than a puppet. She wouldn't teach us any defensive moves." Hermione laughed. "Our textbook was so awful. It was all about how to fight without using magic."  
  
"I decided," she continued, "that we really needed to learn how to properly defend ourselves and I convinced Harry to lead a group of us to train. We had to meet secretly because there was a ban against forming any kind of group or organization without Ministry approval."  
  
"My God," said Remus in shock. "Were things really as bad as that?"  
  
"Yes," said Hermione. "The summer before we had lost a student and Harry had nearly been killed. Then the Ministry came and prevented us from learning the very thing that would save our lives. It was a really awful year. The last two years have been...," she searched for the word. "Hard," she finished simply.  
  
"So you learned defense here?"  
  
"No," she smiled. "I started to understand the need for defense here. The D.A. became a sort of mini Order. As students, we weren't allowed in the Order of the Phoenix, and except for Harry, Ron, Ginny, George, Fred, and I, no one knew about the Order."  
  
"Who are all those people," asked Remus curiously. "You've talked about Harry and Ron before, but who were the others? And what does D.A. stand for?"  
  
"Ginny, Fred and George are all Weasley's. They were Ron's brothers and sister. And D.A. stands for Dumbledore's Army. Anyway, the summer after fifth year, members of the D.A. began being attacked. Hermione frowned deeply, and there was a hitch in her voice as she continued. "They killed three members before Dumbledore figured out the connection." She paused, feeling the tightening in her chest and throat, but willed it away.  
  
"I'm so sorry," said Remus, squeezing her shoulder gently.  
  
She took a deep breath. "Dumbledore figured that Voldemort just wanted to get us while we were still young and relatively inexperienced. He knew none of us could be swayed to join his side. He knew we would all rather die. But what he didn't count on was that it would only make us more determined to resist him any way we could."  
  
"What happened to the rest of you?"  
  
"We were all sent back to school early for our protection."  
  
Remus sighed. "I didn't know," he said apologetically. "I didn't realize what your life was like."  
  
"There's no reason you should have. But it's ok really. Even though we were in the middle of a war, there was still happiness. It wasn't always scary and serious. Ron and I did our best to make Harry remember that there were still good things in our lives. I still live like that. I concentrate on the good things in my life, not the bad."  
  
"I think I understand why you're doing this now, but I still don't like it."  
  
"I do know how you feel. I used to ask myself all the time why it always had to be Harry who had to stick his neck out. To this day I still don't understand why, but I accept it."  
  
Remus shook his head, but smiled. "You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met." Hermione blushed deeply as Remus leaned forward and kissed her again. "I've wanted to do that since that day at Hogsmeade."  
  
Hermione smiled shyly. "Why didn't you?"  
  
Remus shrugged. "I wasn't sure if you liked me at all."  
  
"I did. I do." She laughed nervously. "I've never felt this way before."  
  
"Me neither," admitted Remus. "So what now?" he asked.  
  
She stood and he joined her. "You could walk me back to Gryffindor Tower."  
  
He took her hand. "I could do that," he said leading her to the door. Hermione glanced around the room one last time before leaving.  
  
They were still holding hands when they entered Gryffindor Tower. James and Sirius were playing a game of Exploding Snap in front of the fire place. They both looked up when Hermione and Remus came in. Sirius stared from their joined hands up to Hermione and she could see a flicker of something in his eyes. She released Remus's hand guiltily. "I'm going to get ready for dinner," she said quickly and ran up to her dorm room.  
  
Remus watched her go with a smile, before joining Sirius and James.  
  
"So," began James slowly. Remus couldn't seem to wipe the grin from his face. "Spill it, Moony," insisted James.  
  
"She said she liked me."  
  
James laughed. "You sound like a girl," he teased.  
  
"I don't care," said Remus. "She's the most amazing person I've ever met and she likes me."  
  
"Did you kiss her," asked Sirius quietly.  
  
"Yes," admitted Remus.  
  
James glanced between his two friends uneasily. "That's great," he said uncomfortably. "So the two of you are dating then."  
  
"I don't know," said Remus, suddenly uncertain.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?" asked James. "She said she liked you and you kissed her, what's left?"  
  
"Maybe she doesn't want to date me," said Remus with a frown.  
  
"Why wouldn't she?" asked Sirius.  
  
Remus shrugged. "She might not."  
  
"Look," said Sirius. "Take it from me. She likes you. You like her. You're dating."  
  
"But what do I do now?" asked Remus. "I've never dated before."  
  
"Take her someplace you can be alone," suggested James.  
  
"Someplace alone," he repeated nervously. "I guess I could do that."  
  
James laughed and stood up. "Come with me. I'll show you a place I take Lily sometimes."  
  
Remus stood and followed James. "Coming Sirius?"  
  
"No, I'm fine. You two go."  
  
"Ok," said James and he and Remus left.  
  
As soon as they had left, Sirius turned his attention to the girl's staircase and watched for Hermione. She didn't keep him waiting long. Within five minutes, she bounded downstairs.  
  
"Hey Sirius," she said. "Where'd everyone go?"  
  
"Out," said Sirius standing up. "Hermione I want to talk to you," he said coming around the couch.  
  
Hermione took a few steps away from him. "Now? Don't you think we ought to get to dinner?"  
  
"No, I have to talk to you now." He followed her as she reached the door and grabbed her hand. "This can't wait."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Aren't I evil for leaving it there. I'll try not to make you all suffer too much and post as soon as I can. In the meantime, thanks for all the reviews. 


	10. Chapter 10

"Hermione I want to talk to you," Sirius said coming around the couch.  
  
Hermione took a few steps away from him. "Now? Don't you think we ought to get to dinner?"  
  
"No, I have to talk to you now." He followed her as she reached the door and grabbed her hand. "This can't wait." She tried to pull away, but he held her tightly. "Hermione."  
  
"Fine," she relented. "Let's talk."  
  
"I'm not someone who usually beats around the bush," began Sirius.  
  
"I know you're not, neither am I."  
  
"Then why didn't we ever talk about what happened that night?" he asked, coming straight to the point. She knew what night he was referring to without having to ask.  
  
She looked away uncomfortably. "I don't know."  
  
"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable," he said quietly. "I just wanted to know where you and I stand."  
  
"You and I," repeated Hermione.  
  
"Yeah, now that you and Remus are... whatever."  
  
"Oh," breathed Hermione. "Look, I don't know what Remus and I are yet, but I do know that I don't want to hurt him."  
  
"Neither do I," said Sirius quickly.  
  
"Well good, then I guess you'll agree that it's best we never talk about what happened that night. I was upset and so were you and we got carried away."  
  
"That's not exactly how I remember it," said Sirius softly.  
  
Hermione paled. "Sirius I... This just isn't a good idea. I like you a lot, but as a friend, I know anything else between us would be a complete disaster. We're too different. I'm into books and school and studying and you're..." she blushed not knowing how to finish the sentence. "It's not that I don't care about you."  
  
Sirius's expression changed in an instant. It went from serious to almost mocking. "Relax Hermione," he said with a hint of a smirk. "You don't have to fall all over yourself to turn me down. I wasn't offering anything. I'm thrilled for you and Moony. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't going to be awkward or anything."  
  
"Oh," said Hermione, mildly surprised.  
  
"Remus really likes you," said Sirius. "And he's one of my best friends. I think you're right. We just got a little carried away. It's nothing he ever has to know about."  
  
"Good," said Hermione, visibly relieved. Without another word, she turned and left the common room. Once outside, she practically ran through the halls looking for someplace to be alone. She went into an empty classroom and shut the door behind her.  
  
She sank to the floor and closed her eyes. She had never wanted her mother more than she did now. So many confusing thoughts were swimming in her head and she wished she had someone to talk to, someone who would know the right thing to say to make her feel better.  
  
She had hurt Sirius. Regardless of what he had said, she knew better. Harry was a much better actor at hiding his real feelings and she had practiced long and hard at figuring out the truth of them for herself.  
  
She hadn't realized that the kiss she had shared with Sirius might have meant something more to him than just a simple kiss. If she had known, maybe things would have been different. But it was too late now. She was feeling things for Remus that she had never felt for anyone else. The problem was that there was something about Sirius's eyes, so bright and alive, that electrified her.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Two days later the rest of the students returned to school and their group of four became a group of six again. Once Lily returned to Hogwarts, Hermione had a new ally and the boys no longer had an excuse to put off studying. Not that they didn't try. James and Sirius still offered up many excuses as to why they didn't have to study but they were sorely outnumbered.  
  
A couple of weeks into the new term, the seventh years crowded around one of the larger tables in the library with about a dozen books between them.  
  
For the first time in her life, however, Hermione's mind wasn't completely on her studies. And they hadn't been for the last two weeks.  
  
After that day in the room of requirements she and Remus had been practically inseparable. The feelings they had for each other were a relatively new experience for each of them and neither could get enough of the other. They talked late into the night, took walks after dinner, and basically just enjoyed getting to know each other in this new light.  
  
Hermione kept glancing over at Remus, occasionally meeting his gaze. After about the fourth time this happened, she started laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" asked James glancing up from his transfiguration book.  
  
"Nothing," replied Hermione. She put on a straight face and pulled her Potions notes closer. Taking a deep breath, she tried reading again. She was about halfway down the page when Remus reached over her to grab a book on her other side. As he did, he dropped a small piece of parchment onto her notes. Hermione grabbed it quickly and opened it. It read: Meet me by the restricted section in two minutes.  
  
He immediately stood and left the table. Everyone was so intent on their own studying that no one paid any attention. Hermione fidgeted for about a minute before standing herself and making her way over to the restricted section. She found him leaning against the back wall.  
  
"Can I help you?" she said as seriously as she could.  
  
"Well, seeing as how we're not getting any work done..." he trailed off with a big grin on his face.  
  
She smiled and went to him, giving him a long kiss. "I've never made out on the restricted section before," she said slyly running her hands down his arms.  
  
He laughed softly and pulled her closer. "What sections have you made out in then?"  
  
"Ahem."  
  
Remus and Hermione jumped apart. Standing with her arms crossed; at the end of the long row of bookcases was the librarian. She was frowning severely.  
  
Hermione quickly grabbed a random book from the shelf. "Here's that book I was looking for," she said a bit too loudly. "Come on Remus." She grabbed his hand and pulled him along, carefully side-stepping the librarian who was still standing and frowning down on them.  
  
They practically ran back to their table where they collapsed into their chairs in a fit of muffled giggles.  
  
"What?" demanded James, tossing his quill on the table.  
  
"Forget it," said Remus. He sat up in his chair and pulled a book toward himself, though the broad grin never left his face.  
  
Hermione took a deep breath and settled herself back in her chair. She looked at the book she had pulled from the restricted section. It was titled Experimental Potions.  
  
She opened it curiously and thumbed through the pages. She couldn't help but smile at some of the potions in the book. A lot of them were pretty common in her time.  
  
She was about to put the book down when she realized something. She reopened the book and quickly flipped through to the W's. She looked twice, but couldn't find the Wolfsbane Potion anywhere. She closed the book slowly, her mind racing.  
  
The hard thing, she thought, wasn't going to be making the potion; she could remember the steps well enough. The hard thing was going to be getting her hands on all the ingredients she would need. She grabbed a fresh roll of parchment and began scribbling furiously.  
  
When she had finished writing her list, her heart sank. There were at least six things she knew were going to be near impossible to get her hands on. She glanced up at James and Sirius and smiled. At least she knew who she could turn to for help.  
  
The next morning as they were heading out to Quidditch practice, Hermione caught up with James and Sirius. "Hey guys, wait up," she called.  
  
James and Sirius stopped and turned around. "What is it, Hermione," James asked. "We're going to be late for practice."  
  
"Sorry," said Hermione. "This will just take a second." She dug in her pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment. "I was wondering if there's any way the two of you knew where I could get my hands on this stuff." She handed the parchment to Sirius and waited.  
  
Sirius read it wide-eyed. "What do you need all of this for?"  
  
"I can't say," said Hermione. "Not yet anyway."  
  
"Does it have something to do with the Order?" asked James excitedly.  
  
"No," said Hermione quickly. "It's a personal project."  
  
"What kind of personal project?" asked Sirius.  
  
"The personal kind," replied Hermione firmly.  
  
"You mean you're really not going to tell us," said Sirius in a teasing voice.  
  
"Come on you two, can you get the stuff for me or not?"  
  
James glanced at the list again. "I don't know. Some of this stuff is really expensive."  
  
Hermione frowned deeply. "I was afraid of that." Her shoulders slumped. "This is impossible. Let's just forget the whole thing. You better get to practice." She turned and started to leave them.  
  
"Hermione, wait," called Sirius. She turned back to face him. "I'll see what I can do," he said quickly. "I can't promise anything..." he trailed off.  
  
Hermione grinned and gave him a big hug. "Thanks Sirius. I knew I could count on you."  
  
"No problem," he mumbled, feeling the tips of his ears getting warm.  
  
"Oh and one more thing, could you guys keep this between the three of us. I don't want Remus knowing anything about this. Thanks," she trilled and ran off.  
  
James stared at Sirius.  
  
"What?" asked Sirius in irritation.  
  
James continued to stare.  
  
"What James?" repeated Sirius.  
  
James shrugged his shoulders and continued to the Quidditch field. Sirius had to walk quickly to keep up. He waited, knowing his best friend wouldn't keep his opinion quiet for too long.  
  
"You know," began James and Sirius grinned that he knew him so well. "Remus and Hermione are getting really close."  
  
"Yeah," said Sirius carefully.  
  
"You know you're my best friend Padfoot," stated James.  
  
Sirius frowned, wondering where James was going with this conversation.  
  
James took a deep breath. "I think you should leave Hermione alone. Remus really cares about her and in the end she'd just be another girl to you."  
  
"I don't know what you're implying," said Sirius stiffly. "But I'm not doing anything to Hermione. I am well aware of how Remus feels about her. And," he added sulkily, "How she feels about him."  
  
"I see the way you look at her," said James simply. "And there's the small matter of you kissing her just a couple of weeks ago."  
  
Sirius sighed. "Look, she and I have already talked about this."  
  
"And," prompted James.  
  
"And, not that it's any of your business, we agreed to never talk about it. So I would really appreciate it if you didn't bring it up again."  
  
"Hey," objected James. "I'm just trying..."  
  
"I know what you're trying to do," snapped Sirius. He took a deep breath. "You're right," he agreed with a lighter tone. "She is just another girl. And it's not as if this kind of thing happens to Moony everyday," he finished a little arrogantly.  
  
James let the comment pass. "So you're saying you don't have any feelings for her?"  
  
"Geez Prongs, you're the one who said leave her alone. I am. Why are you pushing? She is just one of many girls I've kissed. I'm happy for her and Remus, but the truth is I could care less who she's with." Sirius put on a burst of speed as they reached the Quidditch Pitch and went straight the locker rooms.  
  
James followed him at a slower pace, knowing Sirius had never told a bigger lie in his life.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sooner than Hermione could have hoped, Sirius was able to come through with the things she needed. She could barely contain her excitement.  
  
"So are you going to tell me what you're going to do with all this stuff now?" asked Sirius. They were sitting alone in the empty common room, late at night.  
  
Hermione bit her bottom lip. "Ok," she said slowly. "But you have to swear you won't tell anyone."  
  
Sirius grinned. "I promise." He leaned forward, waiting.  
  
"There's a potion that could help Remus."  
  
Sirius looked at her quizzically. "From the future?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, it's called Wolfsbane."  
  
"Will it stop him from transforming?" asked Sirius excitedly.  
  
"No," said Hermione sadly. "But it will allow him to keep his mind when he does transform."  
  
"Really," said Sirius clearly impressed. "You mean he won't be dangerous?"  
  
"No," she said. "He won't."  
  
Sirius sank back in his chair. "That's amazing."  
  
She smiled widely. "I know."  
  
"Wow," said Sirius, the news still clearly setting in. "Do you know what this will mean for his future?"  
  
"I know."  
  
"When will the potion be ready?"  
  
"In time for the next full moon," she replied.  
  
"So when are you going to tell Remus," he asked.  
  
She shrugged. "I wanted to make sure I could do it first. I guess once the potion is ready I'll have to tell him."  
  
"Is it dangerous?"  
  
"The Potion? No, not if I do it right."  
  
"And if you don't," asked Sirius cautiously.  
  
Hermione didn't answer.  
  
Sirius whistled lowly.  
  
"I won't do it wrong," Hermione assured Sirius. "I wouldn't give him anything that would hurt him."  
  
"I know you wouldn't," said Sirius quickly. "Do you need some help?"  
  
Hermione didn't really need any help, but Sirius looked so eager she couldn't say no. "Sure," she said graciously. "I was planning to start tomorrow after dinner."  
  
"Where are you doing it?"  
  
"There's this room in the castle," she said smiling. "Meet me on the seventh floor."  
  
"I'll be there."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next evening both Sirius and Hermione were in the room of requirements, but only Hermione was working. Sirius was wandering around the room that now resembled the potions dungeons.  
  
"This is really amazing," he said. "I can't believe we're on the seventh floor."  
  
Hermione was bent over the boiling cauldron, carefully stirring its contents. "Sirius, could you hand me that bottle of lacewings?"  
  
"Oh yeah," he said, remembering that he was supposed to be helping her. He grabbed the bottle and brought it to her. "Here you go."  
  
She took it and measured a small amount into her hand, before dropping it into the cauldron. "All right," she murmured to herself. "Now wait fifteen minutes before removing the potion from the fire and adding the next ingredient."  
  
She moved away from the cauldron, wiping her sweaty brow with the back of her hand.  
  
"How is it that you can remember how to make this potion?" asked Sirius. "It seems pretty complicated to me."  
  
"I have a kind of photographic memory," said Hermione almost apologetically.  
  
"So you just remember every potion you've ever made?" asked Sirius incredulously.  
  
"Actually," replied Hermione. "I've never made this potion before."  
  
Sirius looked stricken. "Then how can you be so sure..."  
  
"I know what I'm doing," Hermione said, cutting him off. "I memorized this potion back in my third year. When I found out that Professor Lupin, I mean Remus, was a werewolf, I read absolutely everything I could get my hands on about it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because at the time it seemed necessary, I didn't know who knew what he was. And he was spending a lot of time with Harry. I wanted to understand him."  
  
"So you didn't trust him?"  
  
"I didn't say that," said Hermione defensively. "You have to understand. No, never mind, I couldn't make you understand even if I wanted to."  
  
"You could try."  
  
Hermione shook her head. "It would take too long to explain the whole story to you. Let's just say circumstances forced me to make sure that the people around Harry were trustworthy. Knowing that Remus was keeping such a big secret made me worry so I did everything I could to learn about his condition. Thankfully, in the end it worked out ok."  
  
"And now you know how to make this potion."  
  
"That's right," she said happily. "And now I can be with him when he transforms."  
  
Sirius looked at her sharply. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"  
  
"Sure, why not? As long as he takes the Wolfsbane Potion in the days before the full moon, he'll keep his mind and it'll be ok for me to be with him, like you, James, and Peter."  
  
"Yeah but what if he doesn't want you to be?"  
  
"Why wouldn't he?"  
  
Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "He just might not."  
  
Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but gasped when she realized fifteen minutes had passed. "Oh my gosh, I almost let it boil too long." She hurried over to the cauldron and pulled it off the fire. She added the final ingredient and stirred its contents again. She smiled broadly. "I think it's ready."  
  
Sirius walked over and glanced at the Potion. "That doesn't look to appetizing."  
  
"It's not," said Hermione crinkling her nose at the smell as she ladled some of the potion into a bottle. "At least I'm sure it's not."  
  
"So now we have to tell Remus about this," said Sirius. "And get him to drink it."  
  
"He will," said Hermione confidently. "But we can't tell anyone about this. This potion isn't supposed to exist for years. I don't think Dumbledore would be too pleased if he knew what I had done."  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You mean you didn't ask him permission to do this?" Hermione shook her head and Sirius grinned. "Well I'm really impressed. I didn't know you had it in you to be a rebel."  
  
"I'm not a rebel," she protested. "But I would do anything for Remus. I wasn't going to take the chance that Professor Dumbledore would say no."  
  
"Better to ask forgiveness than permission."  
  
"Something like that. Come on, let's get out of here."  
  
"What about the rest of the potion?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Don't worry," she reassured him. "It'll be here when we need it."  
  
"So," began Sirius. "When are you going to tell him?"  
  
"Tomorrow night," said Hermione with a satisfied smile. She didn't know how she'd be able to wait.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hermione and Remus sat quietly on the edge of his bed, facing forward. Hermione had asked Sirius to make sure James and Peter didn't disturb them when she gave Remus the Wolfsbane potion. She had just told him about the potion and was waiting for his response.  
  
Remus rolled the bottle in his hands, examining it as if he didn't really believe it was there.  
  
"So," Hermione prompted after several moments of silence. "What are you thinking?"  
  
"I don't know what to think," said Remus softly. "This is all too amazing for words."  
  
Hermione smiled and watched his profile. "Are you happy?" she asked hopefully.  
  
He looked at her and their eyes locked. "This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. I'm sorry I don't have the words to tell you how I feel."  
  
"You don't have to say anything," she assured him. "I was happy to do it. I just wish I could do more." She leaned over and pressed her lips to his cheek, lingering for a few seconds. "You have to start taking it now. The full moon is two days away."  
  
He uncorked the bottle slowly and tipped the contents into his mouth. His face contorted in a grimace. "Ugh, that's awful."  
  
She laughed softly. "I know."  
  
"Can't I add some sugar to it or something?" he asked.  
  
"No," she said smiling. "That would make it pretty useless."  
  
"Too bad," he said wrinkling his nose. "So this stuff will really keep me from," he blushed. "Well you know."  
  
"Yeah it will. That means I can be with you when you transform."  
  
Remus looked to her sharply, but she seemed not to notice. "I know you boys think it's a grand adventure sneaking around the grounds of the castle and Hogsmeade and now I can go with you."  
  
"Um... Hermione," said Remus, trying to interrupt.  
  
"To tell you the truth," continued Hermione, not hearing him. "I've missed having little midnight excursions myself," she grinned. "I mean I used to give Ron and Harry a hard time, but the truth is I kind of miss it."  
  
"Hermione," Remus began again.  
  
"I'm so excited," she said smiling. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "I better go. It'll never do to be caught up here alone with you." She jumped off the bed and practically skipped to the door before Remus could say another word.  
  
He didn't know how long he sat there before the boys came upstairs. "Hope we're not interrupting anything," said James as they burst through the closed door.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes. "She left already," he answered.  
  
"She give it to you?" asked Sirius.  
  
Remus held up the half drunk bottle. "Yep."  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"What's that?" asked Peter curiously.  
  
Remus frowned and got up and quickly stuffed the bottle at the bottom of his trunk. "Nothing," he said roughly.  
  
Peter glanced from him to Sirius then to James, who were both smiling. "They know," he said pointedly. "Why can't I?"  
  
"It's nothing, Peter," said Sirius in irritation.  
  
"Well obviously it is. The three of you know and you won't tell me. What's going on? Ever since I got back from break you all have been acting very weird."  
  
All three boys glanced at each other and then as if in a single movement turned to their trunks to pull out their pajamas.  
  
"What's going on?" whined Peter. "Have I done something wrong?"  
  
"No," said James in annoyance. "Don't be so damn insecure."  
  
"It's not insecure when your three best mates can't look at you all of a sudden." Peter surveyed each of them, but none of them looked his way.  
  
"It's her, isn't it? She's turned you all against me somehow."  
  
Remus tensed and turned slowly to Peter. "Who do you mean?" he asked between clenched teeth.  
  
Peter started at the look of anger in his normally calm friends eyes, but was too angry to keep his mouth closed. "You know who, your little girlfriend."  
  
Remus took a step toward Peter. "Remus," said James sharply. He shook his head slightly, before turning back to his chest. Remus eyes Peter, before reluctantly turning back to his own.  
  
Peter watched the backs of his three friends, not understanding their sudden change of behavior over the last couple of weeks. His hurt at their treatment turned to anger and he stormed from the room shouting, "I wish the mudblood had stayed where she belongs," before slamming the door.  
  
James, Sirius, and Remus looked at each other. "That wasn't fair guys," spoke up James. "Peter hasn't done anything."  
  
"Yet," spat Sirius.  
  
"That's right," insisted James. "We shouldn't treat him this way. It's not right."  
  
"James," began Remus. "He's responsible for your death. He's lucky we talk to him at all."  
  
"I'm not dead, Remus," replied James.  
  
"Not yet," repeated Sirius.  
  
"We're punishing him from something he hasn't even done yet," he argued. "It's not right. And I bet Hermione would agree with me."  
  
"Don't be so sure," said Sirius.  
  
"No, Sirius, James's is right. Hermione wouldn't approve," said Remus.  
  
"He just called your girlfriend a mudblood," protested Sirius. "How can you defend him?"  
  
"He was angry," reasoned Remus.  
  
"Yeah well so am I," said Sirius. "I can't forget what she told us. And I don't know how either of you can."  
  
"I'm not saying we shouldn't be careful," said James. "But we should at least try to make an effort."  
  
"What? To pretend like Peter's not responsible for the deaths of all those people? I can't do that."  
  
"You have to try, Sirius," said Remus. "Or it may just end up being a self fulfilling prophecy. If we turn on him, he'll walk straight into You-Know- Who's arms. If we stay his friends, maybe we can save him."  
  
Outside of the seventh year dorms, Peter stood with his ear pressed against the door and his mouth hanging open.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Wow, that was a hard one to write. I hope you all liked it. Now, I am heading for a much needed vacation. I hope to update again very soon. I have it all plotted out it's just a matter of writing it down. Thanks again to all my reviewers. 


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione was poring over her alchemy notes in the library determined to get as much studying done before she was forced to go back to her dorm room for the night. She closed her eyes and rubbed them tiredly. When she opened them, she gasped in surprise. Peter was standing on the other side of the table.  
  
"You scared me, Peter," said Hermione, putting her hand to her heart. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Thought I would do a little studying before calling it a night," he said sitting down.  
  
"Oh," said Hermione.  
  
"Yeah," continued Peter as he pulled his books out. "I could use all the studying I can squeeze in. But I don't have to tell you that."  
  
"That's not true, Peter," said Hermione kindly. "You just need to have a little confidence in yourself."  
  
"No," said Peter. "I'm a hopeless case. Not like you. You seem to know everything, about everything and everybody."  
  
Hermione's eyes narrowed and she watched Peter closely, but he had bent his head over his book and was flipping through it hurriedly.  
  
"Like how you figured out Remus's little secret," said Peter in a would-be casual voice.  
  
Hermione tensed and waited for Peter to continue.  
  
"That was really something," he continued, never meeting her steady gaze. "It took James, Sirius, and I years to figure it out, and we shared a room with the fellow." He paused as if waiting for her to say something. When she didn't, he continued. "I guess a guy has to be careful with his secrets now that you're around."  
  
"As long as people don't hurt the people I love," Hermione said in a low, serious tone, "they have nothing to fear from me."  
  
"Then I guess Remus is lucky. I hate to think what you might have done if you hadn't liked him so much," he retorted.  
  
Hermione observed Peter, but his movements remained calm and his voice stayed even. There was nothing of the nervous little boy about him now. He was cool and calculating. Every word had another meaning and every movement was designed to throw her off. For the first time, Hermione wondered if his normal jittery persona was all an act and this conniving, careful person sitting in front of her was the real Peter. Was he really that good of an actor?  
  
After a few moments of silence, Peter raised his eyes to meet Hermione's. "Is something wrong," he asked innocently.  
  
"No," said Hermione, quickly returning her gaze to her books.  
  
Peter did the same and they sat in silence for several minutes, both pretending they were studying.  
  
"Hermione," spoke up Peter. "I'm curious. Are you planning on going back to France after graduation? Or are you staying here in England?"  
  
Hermione refused to let him see how uncomfortable he was making her. She forced herself to keep her breathing even and set down her quill so he wouldn't see her hand shake. "I hadn't decided."  
  
"I'm sure your family is missing you, and your friends."  
  
"Yes, I'm sure they are," she said, forcing herself to look at her notes as if he were being a bother.  
  
"They don't write you much, do they?" he continued. "I mean," he said looking up at her. "You never get any letters during breakfast. And you didn't go home for Christmas, you went to James's. It's almost as if you didn't have anyone else in the world."  
  
Hermione opened her mouth to speak, when she caught a glimpse of Remus striding over to their table. She had never been happier to see anyone. Peter turned in his chair to see what she was staring at and turned quickly back to Hermione. He bent his head over his parchment and began scribbling rapidly.  
  
"Knew I'd find you here," said Remus smiling. Then he caught sight of Hermione's stricken face. "What's the matter," he asked worriedly. He stared down menacingly at Peter, but if the boy noticed, it didn't show.  
  
"Nothing silly," said Hermione putting on a wide grin. "Did you come to kidnap me away from the library," she said a little too brightly.  
  
"Yeah," said Remus slowly. He frowned and she could see the concern in his face.  
  
"Well I'm ready to go," she said stuffing her things hastily into her bag.  
  
"Me too," said Peter, his voice every bit as bright as Hermione's. He went to stand but was stopped by Hermione's cold tone.  
  
"No, I think you ought to stay. You said yourself, you could use all the studying you can get," she said strongly. She lifted her bag onto her shoulder and walked around the table, taking Remus's offered hand and leaving Peter, scowling and alone in the library.  
  
"What was that about," said Remus once they were out of ear shot.  
  
Hermione glanced behind her to make sure no one was around. "I think Peter may know something," she said quietly. Her face was creased with worry and Remus could swear he could feel an almost imperceptible shake in her hand.  
  
"Why do you say that? What did he say to you," said Remus fiercely, turning back toward the library as if he were about to pounce on Peter.  
  
She gripped his hand tighter and pulled him back around. "It's not what he said, it was the way he said it." She shuddered. "It was so eerie. I felt like he was trying to read my mind." She laughed half-heartedly. "Now I know I'm not getting enough sleep. You must think I'm really losing it."  
  
"Let's get out of the hallway," said Remus quietly, guiding her further away from the library. He stepped into a dark corner, pulling her close to him.  
  
"Remus," she said quietly. "I'll probably regret telling you this later because I don't want you to worry, but he really scared me. If Peter finds out where I really came from," she shivered.  
  
Remus wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer to him. She closed her eyes and leaned into his chest, relaxing in his embrace.  
  
He knew what it would mean for her if Peter or anyone found out where Hermione was really from. It had been what had scared him since the beginning. "We won't let that happen," he said softly.  
  
"Why now?" she said anxiously. "What's made him question things now?"  
  
A wave of guilt fell over Remus. "I think that's our fault," he said. "Sirius, James, and I," he corrected himself.  
  
"What happened?" she asked.  
  
"It's just that it's been really hard to act like we don't know what we know. Peter senses that something's changed and he blames you. We kind of had a row in our room last night."  
  
Hermione nodded, feeling a little better. "Then maybe I'm being paranoid. Maybe I'm just reading into things that aren't there. He might just be reacting out of jealousy."  
  
"Probably," murmured Remus. "He is jealous. I'm sorry he scared you."  
  
"I don't want to think about that anymore," she said sliding her hands up his shoulders and around his neck. She kissed him, running her fingers along his neck and felt him shiver.  
  
He pulled her even closer, if possible, and ran his hands over her back and up to her shoulders. His hands reached the neck of her blouse and his fingers traced the edge of the material. He pushed it away and pulled his mouth away from hers and placed it on her shoulder, kissing her lightly.  
  
Hermione sighed and ran her hands through his hair, holding him to her. That low breathy sound flooded over Remus and he recaptured her mouth in a searing kiss, shocking them both with its intensity.  
  
Too soon for her liking, Remus pulled away, breathing deeply. Hermione moaned at the loss of contact and the castle suddenly seemed far too cold. "What's the matter?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing," said Remus, taking a step away from her. "It's getting late."  
  
Hermione looked at him quizzically. "Are you saying you want to call it a night?"  
  
"I think we better," said Remus with a pained expression.  
  
"I was having a good time," she smiled mischievously. "Weren't you?"  
  
"Too good," he breathed, trying to smile back at her.  
  
"Then what's the problem," she asked stepping closer to him. He retreated even farther away. "Remus?"  
  
"Let's just go back to Gryffindor Tower," said Remus almost begging.  
  
"All right," she said slowly. "If you want to."  
  
He nodded and began walking away. Hermione had to move quickly to catch up. When they reached Gryffindor Tower he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying up the boy's staircase.  
  
He found James and Sirius in their beds relaxing and talking. They both glanced up at Remus when he entered their room and could immediately tell something was wrong.  
  
"What's up, Moony?" asked James.  
  
Remus forced himself to slow down his breathing. "Nothing," he said. "Just tired, full moon's tomorrow night."  
  
"Did you talk to Hermione about tomorrow?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Damn it," cursed Remus. "I forgot. She distracted me."  
  
Both James and Sirius grinned suggestively.  
  
"It's not funny," he snapped. "What am I going to do?"  
  
"Moony, what's the big deal really?" asked James. "She gave you that potion she knows about from the future and she swears you'll be perfectly safe. Why not let her come with us."  
  
"What about Peter?" countered Remus. "He doesn't know that she knows about your animagi status."  
  
"We'll take care of that. Peter's not coming with us tomorrow."  
  
"It doesn't matter anyway. I don't want her to come, especially after what happened tonight."  
  
"Why? What happened?" asked Sirius. He propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at Remus.  
  
"I nearly lost control," grumbled Remus, flopping down on his bed. "She just makes it so damn difficult to stay in control."  
  
James and Sirius exchanged a glance. "What do you mean," Sirius asked carefully.  
  
Remus turned red, but felt he had to talk to someone and James and Sirius were his best mates. "You guys know how hard I have to try to control my temper around the full moon."  
  
They both nodded. When Remus had been younger they had both experienced what happened when he got angry around the full moon. As he got older he learned to control himself. He almost never got angry anymore. He had learned to suppress his more extreme emotional responses out of necessity.  
  
"Yeah well, my temper's not the only thing I've had to learn to control."  
  
James and Sirius's eyes went wide with understanding.  
  
"I practically made a fool out of myself tonight. Or rather I would have if I hadn't stopped myself," he said bitterly.  
  
"I'm sure it wasn't as bad as all that," said James sympathetically.  
  
"What do you mean 'made a fool of yourself,'" asked Sirius protectively. He sat straight up in bed. "You didn't do anything to make her uncomfortable?"  
  
"No of course not," shouted Remus. "I would never... The point is," he said in exasperation, ignoring Sirius, "I don't want her to see me like that."  
  
"You let us," Sirius pointed out, laying back down. "And we don't think any differently of you because of it. She wouldn't either. You should have more faith in her."  
  
"I wouldn't expect you to understand," snapped Remus. "How could you," he added bitterly.  
  
Neither Sirius or James could answer that. "I'll talk to her tomorrow if you want," said Sirius quietly.  
  
Remus looked at him gratefully and immediately felt ashamed at how he had spoken to them. "Thank you," he said quietly, knowing how lucky he was to have been blessed with such great friends.  
  
Remus changed and got into bed. Once he was settled he asked, "Where's Peter, by the way."  
  
"Who knows?" said James.  
  
"Who cares?" added Sirius.  
  
"He was in the library earlier with Hermione, but I thought he'd be back by now," continued Remus. "She said he made her really nervous, asking questions and stuff. We're going to have to be more careful."  
  
"Is she ok," asked Sirius, once again sitting up in bed.  
  
"She says she's fine, but I could tell he really freaked her out, whatever he said."  
  
"Let's not worry about Peter tonight, guys," said James through a yawn. "I'm tired and we have a double potions exam first thing in the morning." James muttered the spell to extinguish the lights and each boy settled into his bed. James and Sirius were asleep almost immediately. Remus stayed up much longer, first running over the evening in his mind and then when he realized how late it had gotten, waiting up for Peter. Hours later, when he finally drifted off, Peter still hadn't come to bed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sirius never got the chance to talk to Hermione between breakfast and their first class. As usual he and James were doing their last minute bit of cramming over toast and orange juice. The next chance he would get was during lunch, but to his dismay, Hermione never showed up.  
  
"Did you talk to her?" Remus asked Sirius in a hushed whisper.  
  
"I didn't get a chance this morning. I was hoping to do it after lunch, but where is she?"  
  
"Probably in the library studying," said Remus smiling slightly to himself. "She'll study all the time if you don't watch her. I won't be here of course, but make sure she eats dinner. She shouldn't skip two meals in a row."  
  
"Right," said Sirius distractedly, hoping he would have enough time to talk to her before night fell.  
  
They all split off for afternoon classes after lunch. Sirius, James, and Peter were heading for Muggle Studies when they were stopped by Professor Dumbledore. "Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, can I see you for a minute?"  
  
"Go ahead, Peter," said James kindly. "We'll catch up with you."  
  
Peter merely shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care if they ever did catch up and continued to Muggle Studies.  
  
James and Sirius stood penitently in front of Dumbledore, causing the older man to smile. James and Sirius were never mean spirited trouble makers, but they were trouble makers and it was never a good sign when the headmaster wanted a private conference.  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat to hide his chuckle. "I was hoping you boys could do me a favor?"  
  
James and Sirius looked at each other in surprise, but immediately nodded their heads.  
  
"I was hoping the two of you could escort Mr. Lupin tonight. I am unable to perform the task myself because of an urgent meeting with the Minister of Magic."  
  
"Of course," agreed James immediately, though he was surprised.  
  
"Why can't another Professor do it?" asked Sirius curiously.  
  
"The professors who are aware of Mr. Lupin's special needs are all occupied tonight and I believe the two of you are old enough and mature enough to handle this," said the professor seriously.  
  
Each boy beamed inwardly with pride. "We'll take care of it, sir," said Sirius.  
  
"Just make sure you're both out of the Shrieking Shack before he begins the transformation. No foolish stunts," said Dumbledore.  
  
Both boys nodded.  
  
"Good," said Dumbledore. "Now off to class."  
  
A quick glance at their watches told them both that they were in danger of being late and they hurried to the Muggle Studies classroom.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sirius and James met up with Remus at the front of the entrance just before sundown.  
  
Remus was staring at the setting sun, trying his best to keep his nerves down. He hadn't been nervous about a transformation in years, but tonight would be very different. If Hermione's potion really worked, then new possibilities would be open to him. He would no longer have to be chained and put away once a month. He would never be a danger to his friends or family again. It was almost too much to hope for.  
  
Remus heard footsteps behind him and turned to see his two best friends approaching. "James, Sirius, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Dumbledore asked us to take you down," said Sirius quietly. "He's got a meeting or something."  
  
"Ok," said Remus easily. "Let's go, sun's almost down."  
  
James pulled out his invisibility cloak and checked to make sure no one was around. Most of the students were at dinner and the front entranceway was empty. He threw the cloak over the three of them and they all had to huddle pretty tight to get covered completely.  
  
They walked slowly to the Whomping Willow, nudged the knot of the tree and made their way down its entrance. James threw the cloak off as soon as they were safely out of sight. Remus leaned heavily against the wall. He was beginning to feel the effects of the coming moon.  
  
"You ok?" asked James.  
  
Remus nodded, tiredly. "Just help me," he said weakly.  
  
James slipped his head under Remus arm and crouching low, began to pull him forward. Sirius followed them closely, holding his wand out for light.  
  
"Hurry," said Remus through gritted teeth. He could feel the familiar tightness in his body getting more taut, ready to snap and explode in his body.  
  
"Remus!"  
  
The three boys stopped dead and turned to the voice. Hermione was hurrying toward them, her face anxious.  
  
Remus looked at her in horror, then he looked to Sirius.  
  
"I'm sorry," Sirius said in a whisper. "I never got a chance to talk to her."  
  
"Hermione, what are you doing here?" Remus gasped.  
  
Hermione looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean? We talked about this. I want to make sure the potion works."  
  
A burst of pain shot through Remus. He stumbled and would have fallen if it weren't for James. Hermione rushed forward to help him up, but he pushed her offered hand away.  
  
"I don't want you here," he said getting back up with some difficulty.  
  
"What?" asked Hermione in a hurt voice. "Why?"  
  
"I don't want you to see me like this?" he said angrily.  
  
"But I don't care about..."  
  
"We can't do this now, you two," said James urgently, cutting her off. "We have to get Remus into the Shrieking Shack." James moved forward again, pulling Remus along. Hermione went to follow, but Sirius caught her hand.  
  
"Hermione, he doesn't want you there."  
  
She tried to pull her hand away from Sirius. "He doesn't have any reason to be ashamed. I don't care that he's a werewolf."  
  
"But he does," said Sirius, refusing to let go of her hand. "He said he didn't want you to see him like that and you have to respect his wishes."  
  
Hermione looked at Sirius angrily, before wrenching free of his grip. She pushed past Sirius and went back to the tunnel entrance. Sirius watched her go, wanting to go after her, but knowing James would need his help if anything went wrong.  
  
Hermione made it back to the mouth of the tunnel and pulled herself up and out. She made a dash for the castle, narrowly missing the Whomping Willow's slashing branches. When she was clear she went back to the castle and sat wearily against its outside wall and waited.  
  
She rested her head in her hands silently praying that the potion would work, knowing what it would mean for him and wanting him to have everything he deserved.  
  
She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly jumped out of her skin when a hand touched her shoulder. She looked up into Sirius's grinning face and immediately knew that her prayers had come true.  
  
Hermione jumped to her feet and threw herself into Sirius's arms. He laughed and picked her up and spun her in a circle.  
  
"It worked?" she questioned him unnecessarily.  
  
"Yes," he grinned. "You're an absolute genius."  
  
She threw her head back and laughed with sheer joy. "Come on," she said taking his hand and pulling him toward the tree, but he didn't move.  
  
"Sirius, let's go. I want to see him."  
  
Sirius shook his head. "Hermione, he doesn't want you to see him."  
  
She looked at him in confusion. "But he's not dangerous. He can't mean it."  
  
"He does," said Sirius firmly. "I'm sorry."  
  
She nodded slowly, feeling the joy she had felt a second ago drain from her body.  
  
Sirius frowned at her. "You shouldn't let it be an issue. He's just a private person. It's not you."  
  
"It is me a little," she said sadly. "He lets the two of you be with him."  
  
"He doesn't feel about us the way he feels about you," said Sirius matter- of-factly.  
  
Hermione smiled in spite of herself. "You're right," she said. "I'm just kind of used to be in the thick of things. It's hard to be an outsider."  
  
"You're not."  
  
"I only wanted to help him."  
  
"You did."  
  
She nodded again. "Then you'd better get down there. The three of you have a long night ahead."  
  
"I'll stay with you if you want," offered Sirius.  
  
"No," said Hermione, waving her hand at him. "Go, have fun."  
  
He grinned excitedly and practically ran back to the Whomping Willow. Hermione was watching him so closely, that she failed to see the small rat scurry along the castle wall and disappear around the corner.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: Thanks once again to all my reviewers. You're all so great. Hope you liked the chapter, now review! 


	12. Chapter 12

Sirius and James walked as quietly into the Gryffindor common room as possible. It was 5:30 in the morning and they were thoroughly exhausted from their night's adventure. They were about to head straight to bed when they noticed Hermione stretched out on one of the couches near the fireplace.  
  
Sirius walked over to her and shook her shoulder gently. She opened her eyes sleepily and smiled when she saw who it was.  
  
"Morning," she mumbled. "What time is it?"  
  
"A little after 5:30," replied Sirius quietly.  
  
She stretched and smiled. "Did you all have fun?"  
  
Sirius merely grinned back.  
  
"We just took Remus to the hospital wing," spoke up James.  
  
"How's he doing?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Good," said James. "Tired. The usual."  
  
She smiled. "You two look exhausted. Maybe you ought to go to bed."  
  
"Yes, mom," teased Sirius and then he yawned.  
  
Hermione giggled. "Go to bed." She waited until both boys had disappeared up the staircase before throwing her blanket off and swinging her feet off the couch. She was eager to see Remus and hoped to get to the hospital wing before he fell asleep.  
  
She left Gryffindor Tower and descended the stairs leading to the hospital wing. Halfway there she stopped when she saw Peter sitting on the bottom of the second floor staircase. He hadn't seen her and she was tempted to turn around and find another way to the hospital wing, but the way he was sitting stopped her. He looked tired and small.  
  
Hermione took a deep breath before approaching him. "Peter," she said quietly.  
  
Peter looked up and Hermione could see his eyes were red. "What do you want?" he said angrily.  
  
"Are you ok?"  
  
"What do you care?" he snapped back.  
  
"I care if you're upset," she said quietly. "Can I sit down?"  
  
He turned away, not answering her. She sat, but at a careful distance away from him. "Did you stay up all night?" she asked. He didn't say anything for a long time. Just as Hermione was about to give up and continue on her way to the hospital wing he spoke.  
  
"It's not fair, you know," he said quietly. "They've been my friends longer than they've been yours."  
  
Hermione looked down at her feet. "They're still your friends."  
  
"No they're not," said Peter bitterly. "They won't even talk to me because of you."  
  
"That's not true," protested Hermione, knowing it was.  
  
"Right," he laughed coldly. "All I want to know is why. What did I do to you?"  
  
"Nothing," said Hermione, feeling terrible. A wave of guilt passed over her. Peter was right, of course, it was her fault. He hadn't done a thing to deserve being thrown aside. And it wasn't right to judge him for things he hadn't even done yet. Things she might still be able to prevent from happening.  
  
"You know, everyone's under a lot of pressure right now, with the N.E.W.T.s coming and all. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt your feelings."  
  
Peter looked at her doubtfully.  
  
"I could talk to them if you want," offered Hermione.  
  
Peter's eyes brightened. "Would you?"  
  
Hermione smiled. "Of course."  
  
Peter smiled back. "Thanks," he said softly. "I guess maybe I was wrong about you."  
  
"Maybe I was wrong about you too," she said. "Why don't we try to start over?"  
  
"Ok," said Peter eagerly. They both stood. "I think I'll go to bed now and you probably want to get to the hospital wing."  
  
Hermione stared at him in surprise.  
  
He smiled. "You are going to see Remus aren't you?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," she said slowly. "Goodnight then."  
  
"Night, Hermione," said Peter.  
  
Hermione turned and left Peter. He watched her move away smiling to himself at how easy it was to manipulate good people. Once Hermione was out of sight, Peter transformed and followed her.

  
  
When Hermione reached the hospital wing, she approached Remus tentatively. He smiled when he saw her and sat up in bed.  
  
"You have to stop sneaking into the hospital wing to visit me," he whispered when she was next to him.  
  
She blushed. "I'm sorry. I'll leave if you want." She took a step away, but he reached out and grabbed her hand.  
  
"No, I was only teasing," he said quickly. He lifted himself up and gave her a quick kiss.  
  
She smiled happily and he scooted over so she would have room to sit next to him.  
  
"I'm really sorry about last night," he apologized, while he entwined his fingers around hers.  
  
"No, I'm sorry," said Hermione. "I shouldn't have pushed, but let's not talk about that. Sirius said the potion worked."  
  
"It did," said Remus. "It was amazing. James and Sirius didn't transform while we were in the Shrieking Shack. When I saw them, I knew who they were and I didn't attack them. I'm doing a bad job describing it. It was just amazing," he repeated. "I don't think I could ever tell you how grateful I am to you."  
  
"You don't have to," she said softly. "It's enough that it worked and you're happy. That's all I want."  
  
"I am happy," he said. He put one hand on her cheek. "I'm happier than I've been in a long time." She smiled and leaned into his touch. "Are you happy?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Yes," she said quickly, surprised by his question.  
  
"Really?" he questioned.  
  
She looked away from his penetrating gaze. "I guess I have my good days and my bad days, but overall I try to stay positive."  
  
"You know you don't have to put on an act for me. I know you miss your friends and family and as much as I try, I know I can't make up for your loss."  
  
Hermione was surprised to feel moisture in her eyes and she wiped at them, embarrassed. She found she couldn't talk around the lump in her throat. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Remus leaned forward and kissed her on her forehead. "Don't worry," he said gently. "I know."  
  
Hermione felt a flood of affection fill her. She wondered where Remus had learned how to say and do just the right thing to make her feel better.  
  
"Was that a smile?" he teased.  
  
She laughed softly.  
  
"Yep, that was definitely a smile."  
  
She shook her head with a smile. "I think I should get going. You need to rest."  
  
"Oh don't go," said Remus. "I'm not tired."  
  
Hermione looked at him doubtfully.  
  
"Really, I'm not. Stay. Talk to me."  
  
"All right," she conceded. "But what should we talk about?"  
  
"Actually," said Remus. "There's something I've been wondering."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What are you going to do when we graduate?"  
  
Hermione shrugged. "It would be hard to get a job with the Ministry. They'd be sure to check into my past and I don't have one anymore. I guess I haven't thought that far ahead. It's just not as simple as it used to be."  
  
He smiled sadly. "I kind of figured. Have you talked to Dumbledore about it?"  
  
I don't want to bother him about it. I've already asked too much of him as it is."  
  
"I know what you mean."  
  
"Dumbledore's done a lot for you too," stated Hermione.  
  
"I'll never be able to repay him," said Remus. "What other Headmaster would have let me come to school, knowing what I am."  
  
"Have you thought about what you'd like to do after we graduate?"  
  
"Hrmph," Remus scoffed. "There's not much I can do. I can't take a job at the Ministry and I doubt many private businesses would hire on a werewolf."  
  
"Why couldn't you work for the Ministry? There's no law against it," Hermione paused wondering if that were true. She couldn't remember if there were laws barring werewolves from public service in this time.  
  
"True," said Remus. "But you said it yourself. They'd check into my past and they'd discover who I am."  
  
"Being a werewolf isn't who you are," interrupted Hermione fiercely. "You're so much more than that and someday people will see that."  
  
"Thanks," mumbled Remus humbly. He cleared his throat. "Well, I'd forgo working for the Ministry if it means I get to keep a modicum of my privacy," he continued. "I saw the applications James and Sirius had to fill out. They had to answer a whole bunch of questions I'd rather steer clear of."  
  
"Applications for what?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Applications for becoming Aurors," stated Remus. "They got their acceptance letters just after Christmas."  
  
"That's wonderful. Why didn't they say anything?"  
  
Remus shrugged. "I guess they assumed you already knew. They leave for training a month after we graduate," said Remus trying to control the bitterness in his voice.  
  
"Do you wish you were going with them?"  
  
Remus shrugged again, but didn't say anything.  
  
"What about Peter?" asked Hermione curiously.  
  
Remus laughed. "He applied, but he didn't get accepted."  
  
"Poor Peter," said Hermione sympathetically. "Was he very disappointed?"  
  
"Actually, I think he was a bit relieved. Peter doesn't have it in him to be an Auror and he knows it."  
  
"Then why apply?" she asked.  
  
"It's just that he's always done everything we've done. So when James and Sirius applied, he applied," he replied.  
  
"You know, I wanted to talk to you about Peter, all of you actually."  
  
"What about?" asked Remus wearily.  
  
"Remus," she warned. "This is serious. He's very hurt. He doesn't know why you've all suddenly turned from him."  
  
"Hermione," Remus began to protest.  
  
"I'm serious, Remus. It's not right. He hasn't done anything, not yet."  
  
"What about the other day in the library," he asked. "You weren't defending him then."  
  
"I know, but I was probably just being sensitive. I talked to him today and he..."  
  
"What?" interrupted Remus. "When did you talk to him?"  
  
"Just before I came to see you."  
  
"Hermione, I don't want you alone with him. He doesn't like you, not at all. And you of all people know what he's capable of."  
  
"Remus, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."  
  
"I don't doubt that, but still."  
  
"Come on, Remus. You know it's wrong. I was hoping you would talk to James and Sirius, but if you don't, I will."  
  
Remus frowned deeply and didn't respond.  
  
"Fine," said Hermione, feeling a little annoyed.  
  
"I'll talk to them," said Remus reluctantly.  
  
Hermione smiled. "Thank you." Remus gave her a face. "What?" she laughed.  
  
"I think I probably gave up too quickly on that one," he said.  
  
She laughed. "I always win."  
  
"Yeah, I bet you had Ron and Harry wrapped around your little finger."  
  
"Well if I did, I certainly never let them know it," she said mischievously. They both laughed and Remus leaned in to kiss her again. They were still kissing when a third person joined them.  
  
"Ahem."  
  
Remus and Hermione broke apart slowly and turned to the noise. They both turned red and Hermione jumped off the bed. "Professor Dumbledore," said a startled Hermione.  
  
There was a twinkle in the Professor's eyes. "I certainly don't want to disturb the two of you," said the Professor with a smile. "I just wanted to give this to you, Miss Granger." The Professor held out a copy of the morning's Daily Prophet.  
  
Hermione took it and glanced at the cover. Her eyes grew wide and her smile grew wider. She looked up at Dumbledore feeling elated.  
  
"What is it?" asked Remus.  
  
She handed the paper to him. "It's about the Death Eaters."  
  
Remus glanced over the paper briefly. "It says they've captured three Death Eaters trying to break into the Ministry of Magic."  
  
Dumbledore lowered his voice. "Three Death Eaters, Hermione informed me of," he said with a touch of pride in his voice. Hermione beamed. "I had a few friends follow them. When the Death Eaters made their move on the Ministry my friends informed the Aurors and within minutes had them arrested. You should be very proud of yourself, Hermione."  
  
She looked down feeling embarrassed. "I'm just glad to be of some use to you sir."  
  
Dumbledore stepped forward and clasped Hermione's hands. "You are, dear, very much so."  
  
"Thank you, sir," Hermione whispered. Dumbledore smiled at them both and left.  
  
"You've been busy," said Remus softly when he left. "I had no idea." Hermione looked at him questioningly. "You never tell us what you and Dumbledore discuss," continued Remus.  
  
"Dumbledore thinks that it might be dangerous to involve you, Sirius, and James," said Hermione softly.  
  
"What do you think?" asked Remus.  
  
"I think," began Hermione, "that it would be nice to be in this with someone else. I'm not used to going it alone."  
  
"You're not alone," protested Remus.  
  
"But I am," insisted Hermione. "On this I am. I have to be. Dumbledore has been very clear about this with me. If any of you knew what I knew, the details I mean, then you'd be in danger and I won't do that to you, even if it means feeling alone."  
  
Remus looked away from her. "I wish I could protect you from this," he said, his voice full of frustration.  
  
"You can't protect me from myself. This is my choice." Hermione sighed, then laughed. "Listen to us, talking doom and gloom. Today's a good day. We've won a small victory and I know it's only the beginning."  
  
"You're right," said Remus tiredly. "Congratulations."  
  
"Thank you," she replied, smiling. "Now, I really do think you should get some rest."  
  
Remus opened his mouth to protest, but a yawn escaped instead. He grinned at her.  
  
"See," she teased. "I'm always right."  
  
Remus settled into bed and closed his eyes sleepily.  
  
"Goodnight," Hermione whispered. She leaned over and kissed him softly. He reached out and pulled her closer, trapping her to him. She giggled against his lips and he released her. "Goodnight," she repeated. "I'll see you tonight."  
  
"Ok," he said sleepily. "Night."  
  
Hermione watched him for a few seconds before leaving.   
  
Later that evening, the friends, minus Hermione, were sitting together in the common room talking and laughing. Hermione came in just a minute before curfew. She spotted her friends and immediately moved toward them.  
  
Remus saw her coming and scooted over, making room for her. She sat and smiled happily at her friends. She was exhausted from her near lack of sleep the night before. She rested her head wearily on Remus's shoulder and he put his arm around her.  
  
Lily smiled at them. "You guys are so cute," she said.  
  
Hermione laughed. "That is one thing I definitely am not. I'm exhausted and I know it shows."  
  
"No it doesn't," said Remus, sweetly defending her.  
  
"See what I mean," continued Lily. "You're just so in love."  
  
Remus felt Hermione stiffen at the comment and both of them turned slightly pink. Sirius looked sharply at Lily and then back to Hermione and Remus.  
  
Lily saw her mistake immediately and felt terrible. James looked at Remus and Hermione, who no longer looked comfortable, and then at Sirius, who looked miserable. He felt bad for all of his friends.  
  
There was an awkward silence that fortunately was broken by the unexpected arrival of Peter. James called out to him immediately to come join them. Peter looked surprised, but approached nonetheless.  
  
Remus seized the opportunity to divert Hermione's attention. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "I talked to James and Sirius this afternoon. They promised to behave from now on."  
  
Hermione forced a smile. "Thanks," she whispered back. "I knew I could count on you."  
  
Peter joined them and eventually they all fell into easy conversations. Everyone forgot Lily's ill timed comment. Everyone that is, except for Sirius, Remus and Hermione.  
  
As the night wore on, one by one they headed up to bed until only Remus and Hermione were left. She had once again relaxed against him and he was playing with her fingers, threading his own in and out of them. She gave a small yawn.  
  
"Tired?" he asked sleepily.  
  
She nodded. "I should probably get to bed, but I have to admit that I'm far too comfortable right where I am."  
  
"Then stay," said Remus softly.  
  
"Ok," she mumbled, relaxing further into his arms.  
  
"Hermione," said Remus softly after a few minutes, checking to see if she was awake. She didn't answer and her steady breathing told him she was asleep. He wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I love you."  
  
From the balcony on the boys side, Sirius bent his head low and returned to his room.   
  
A/N: Hope that one wasn't too sweet. Aren't they the cutest little couple? For those of you craving action, the next chapter is for you. It's nearly completely written, but I still have some tweaking to do. I hope to update very soon. Thanks to all my reviewers. I hit review one hundred this last chapter. You guys are the best! Now, not to sound greedy or anything, but review some more. 


	13. Chapter 13

Hermione and Lily were sitting quietly together in the library studying. Lily kept glancing up at Hermione wanting to talk to her, but not knowing how to begin. The third time Hermione caught Lily staring, she set her own book down.  
  
"Lily, is something wrong?" asked Hermione patiently.  
  
Lily looked at her friend uncertainly. "I don't want to bother you."  
  
Hermione laughed softly. "You're already driving me crazy, so just spit it out."  
  
Lily frowned. "I'm sorry," she said returning her attention to her book.  
  
"Lily," said Hermione. "I was only teasing. What's the matter?"  
  
Lily took a deep breath. "I just wanted to say I was sorry about last night."  
  
"Last night? What happened last night?"  
  
"You know," insisted Lily. "The comment I made about you and Remus being in love."  
  
Hermione blushed. "Oh," she said quietly. "Don't worry about that. I know you didn't mean anything by it."  
  
Before she could stop herself, Lily's curiosity got the better of her. "How do you feel about him?" she asked.  
  
"Lily," Hermione said in a warning tone.  
  
"Come on, Hermione. We're friends."  
  
Hermione smiled. "If I knew, I'd tell you." She wanted to return to her studying, but Lily was still watching her, silently demanding more. With a sigh, Hermione set down her book. "Remus and I enjoy each other's company, and I care about him a lot."  
  
"But," prompted Lily.  
  
"There's no but. That's where we are. Remus doesn't love me. It's too soon."  
  
"Remus loves you," said Lily, "even if he doesn't know it yet. The question is how do you feel? Personally, I think you love him to."  
  
Hermione didn't answer.  
  
"Unless there's someone else."  
  
Hermione laughed. "Yeah, there's someone else. Guys are just banging the doors down to get to me."  
  
Lily would not be deterred by Hermione's joke. "Maybe back home," she insisted. "There had to have been someone back home."  
  
"Well there wasn't," said Hermione firmly.  
  
"If you think I'm going to believe there's never been anyone else, then you're not as smart as everyone thinks you are."  
  
"I didn't say there was never anyone else," said Hermione. "I said there isn't anyone else now."  
  
Lily leaned forward excitedly. "Now we're getting somewhere," she said. "Who was he?"  
  
"What about you," countered Hermione. "There had to be someone before James."  
  
"Of course there was," said Lily easily. "James and I didn't get together until this year. I mean, he's been chasing me since we were thirteen, but back then, I don't know, he was different, I was different."  
  
Hermione smiled. "And now?"  
  
"Now I can't imagine ever being with anyone else," said Lily smiling to herself. "Hermione, can I tell you a secret?"  
  
"Of course," said Hermione quickly.  
  
"I mean a real secret. You can't tell Remus. You know how the boys are. They tell each other everything."  
  
"I promise," said Hermione leaning toward Lily.  
  
Lily took a deep breath. "I'd marry James Potter, if he ever asked me."  
  
"Oh Lily," breathed Hermione. "That's wonderful."  
  
"Do you think so? Because sometimes when I have those thoughts I think I must be crazy. We're only seventeen. How could I think that?"  
  
"I don't think you're crazy," said Hermione. "I know you and James would be happy together forever. Just because you're young, doesn't mean you don't know what you want."  
  
Both girls giggled before settling back into their chairs.  
  
"Ok," said Lily. "Now you."  
  
"Me what?"  
  
Lily sighed in exasperation. "Fine, be difficult. Just tell me who was the last boy you kissed, before Remus I mean."  
  
Hermione turned scarlet.  
  
"Ooh, it must be someone really good. You just turned the brightest shade of red I ever saw anyone turn," Lily teased.  
  
"It's time to go," said Hermione gathering her books. Lily laughed, but followed Hermione's lead. The subject obviously bothered Hermione, and although she was curious, she would never do anything to make Hermione purposely uncomfortable.  
  
They left the library together and by the time they reached the second floor, were already laughing about a completely different subject.  
  
Hermione and Lily entered the common room to see the four boys huddled together whispering excitedly.  
  
"Ten Galleons says they're up to no good," whispered Lily to Hermione.  
  
Hermione giggled. "That's a sucker's bet."  
  
"What's up guys?" asked Lily, sitting down next to James.  
  
Hermione sat next to Remus, who instantly took her hand in his.  
  
James looked around the room to make sure no one was within ear shot. "We're planning what we're going to do on Sirius's birthday," said James conspiratorially.  
  
"When's your birthday?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Two weeks from Friday," replied Sirius.  
  
"Anyway," continued James. "We're planning something big this year."  
  
"What?" asked Lily warily.  
  
"We're going to go to London," said Sirius gleefully.  
  
"What?" exclaimed Lily in a forced whisper.  
  
"Yeah," said James. "We're going to leave Friday night after lights out and not come back until Saturday morning."  
  
"You mean stay out all night," asked Lily, not quite believing what her boyfriend was proposing.  
  
"That's right," said James, matter-of-factly. "And we want you and Hermione to come with us."  
  
"Oh James, I don't know. If we got caught we'd be in so much trouble."  
  
"That's what makes it so exciting," said Sirius.  
  
"Still," said Lily slowly, but you could tell from her eyes that the thought of being in London at night was starting to appeal to her.  
  
"Lily," said Hermione in shock. "I can't believe you're actually considering this."  
  
"I know, Hermione, but think about it. This is our absolute last time to do anything this reckless. We're graduating in a couple of months and we'll officially be adults. So what if we stay out all night then."  
  
"What do you think about this?" asked Hermione turning to Remus.  
  
He shrugged. "I think it might be fun."  
  
"I don't know," said Hermione, still not convinced.  
  
"Come on, Hermione," said Sirius. "It's my birthday."  
  
Hermione looked around at the five eager faces staring at her. "Oh, all right," she gave in. Everyone grinned excitedly.  
  
"Just one thing," asked Hermione. "How are we getting to London?"  
  
"We're going to fly," spoke up Peter.  
  
"Oh," she said quietly.  
  
Remus squeezed her hand. "You'll be fine. I'll fly next to you the whole time." Hermione smiled, but didn't feel reassured in the least.  
  
Two weeks never seemed to pass so quickly. Before they knew it, it was Sirius's birthday. They could hardly contain their excitement. Even Hermione, who wasn't looking forward to the flight, but was definitely looking forward to seeing London at night with Remus and her friends.  
  
That night, Lily and Hermione dressed as quietly as they could so they wouldn't wake any of the other girls and made their way downstairs. Remus was waiting for them.  
  
"Ready," he grinned.  
  
They nodded excitedly.  
  
"James didn't think we should all go together in case we ran into someone, so they went down ahead with the map. They left the invisibility cloak for us." He pulled out the cloak and motioned for the girls to get under.  
  
"Are we all covered?" he asked.  
  
"Yes," whispered Lily and Hermione together.  
  
"Okay, then let's go." They crept out of Gryffindor Tower as quietly as possible.  
  
"I can't believe we're really doing this," whispered Lily excitedly.  
  
"I know," said Hermione, feeling as excited as Lily sounded.  
  
"If you two keep jabbering we're going to get caught," muttered Remus nervously.  
  
Hermione and Lily giggled unable to contain their glee.  
  
Finally, they made it to the front of the castle where James, Sirius, and Peter were waiting.  
  
"It took you long enough," said an exasperated Sirius.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. "We're here now, so let's just go."  
  
"Peter, where'd you put the extra brooms for Lily and Hermione?" asked Sirius.  
  
"I stashed them behind that bush earlier," he said pointing toward the north wall of the castle. "I'll go get them." He said, trotting over to retrieve the brooms. He grabbed them and ran back to the group, handing one to Lily and the other to Hermione.  
  
"You know Hermione," began Remus. "Maybe you ought to use my broom. You've flown on it before and you're more familiar with it."  
  
"Maybe," began Hermione.  
  
"No," piped up Peter. Remus and Hermione turned to him. "It's just that the school brooms are slower," explained Peter awkwardly. "Your broom has built in acceleration. What if she loses control?"  
  
"Maybe Peter's right," said Hermione. "But you're sweet for offering." She leaned over and kissed Remus on the cheek.  
  
"Can we go?" asked James impatiently.  
  
Hermione suppressed a laugh and mounted the broom before they all kicked off the ground. She could feel the cold rush of air against her face and was thankful that she had thought to put on a sweater under her robes.  
  
Sirius led the way, followed by James and Lily, then Remus and Hermione, and in the rear, Peter.  
  
They looped around the castle and headed for the Forbidden Forest via the lake. Hermione was feeling somewhat comfortable on the broom when suddenly she felt a swooping sensation in her stomach and her broom dropped about ten feet. She sucked in her breath and grasped the handle a bit tighter, trying to pull it upward the way Remus had taught her.  
  
Remus descended quickly and flew so close to her that their robes whipped against each other. "What happened," he called out to her. "Are you ok?"  
  
She nodded, "I must have..." She never finished her sentence. It was as if the broom disappeared from under her and with a gasp and a small scream she fell from the night air.  
  
"Hermione," Remus yelled, diving after her.  
  
Hermione could barely think seeing the dark murky water of the lake approaching at a rapid pace. She hit the water with so much force that she immediately blacked out.  
  
Hermione would never know how long she was in the water. When she came to, it was cold and her lungs were screaming for air. The water was everywhere. Her sodden robes were impeding her ability to do anything. In panic she tried to take a breath, but there was no air only water.  
  
"I'm drowning," she thought as the water filled her lungs. "This is it." She kicked hard with the little bit of strength she had left, but in the dark cold she had no idea which way was up. Her hand reached out grasping for something, anything, but there was nothing to take hold of. She grew very still and darkness swept across her mind like a veil.  
  
_"Hermione," whispered a familiar voice. Hermione laid very still letting the voice cover her like a warm blanket. "Hermione, open your eyes," commanded the voice. She obeyed slowly.  
  
When she opened her eyes everything was out of focus. She squeezed her eyes shut again and opened them slowly. She expected someone to be standing over her, but there was no one. "Hello," she called out. "Is someone there?" As she spoke the words, the images around her that were blurred and out of focus came into view.  
  
She was at Hogwarts lying under the tree by the lake that she had spent so many Sunday afternoon's under with Ron and Harry.  
  
"Hello," she repeated her voice tight with fear.  
  
"It's ok, Hermione," said another voice. "We're here. You're safe now."  
  
Hermione turned slowly, knowing now who the voices were, but not trusting her ears. "Harry," she breathed. "Ron?"  
  
They both smiled and dropped to their knees next to her. "I never thought I'd see either one of you again," she cried and pulled them each into a massive hug.  
  
They held each other tight for several minutes as she cried against them. Finally, she pulled away and took a good look at her best friends. "You look so young," she said in confusion. And they did. The Ron and Harry sitting in front of her looked more like the boys she met that first day on the Hogwarts Express rather than the seventeen year old men she had left behind.  
  
"I don't understand," she said.  
  
"You see us this way because in your happiest memories of us, we were eleven," explained Harry.  
  
"Where are we," she asked in awe.  
  
"That's a bit complicated," said Ron.  
  
"We're not really at Hogwarts, are we?"  
  
"Well you are," said Ron. "Or to be more precise, you're in the lake."  
  
Hermione's eyes grew wide. "Am I dead?"  
  
Harry and Ron looked at each other.  
  
"Am I?" she shouted.  
  
"Calm down, Hermione," said a Harry softly. "You're not dead. We're not going to let anything happen to you. Do you understand? That's why we have to hurry."  
  
"Why are we here together?" she asked.  
  
"We're always together, Hermione," said Harry.  
  
"But why here and where is here?"  
  
"You see, Hermione," Harry began. "People travel through life in pairs and groups. They're meant to meet and meant to be together forever and when they're apart, they're incomplete. I guess in the simplest terms, you could say that we're soul mates."  
  
"Soul mates?" she questioned.  
  
"Yes, contrary to popular opinions, being soul mates has very little to do with romantic love."  
  
"We belong together, just like Peter, James, Sirius, and Remus belong together," explained Ron.  
  
"I thought it might be fate or something that brought me back to them. But I don't belong here with them, do I?" she said softly.  
  
"No, you do," said Harry. "You were meant to go back."  
  
"How did it happen?"  
  
"We can't tell you," injected Ron. "We just wanted to reassure you that you're doing the right thing. No matter what happens, you have to remember that, even when things get bad."  
  
"When things get bad? Why'd you say that? What's going to happen?  
  
"Ron," said Harry sharply. He gave him a warning look and then turned back to Hermione. "Don't worry. You're doing fine and everything will be all right."  
  
"How can you be so sure?"  
  
"Because this isn't the first time something like this has happened."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Do you remember the Department of Mysteries?" asked Harry.  
  
"Of course," said Hermione.  
  
"Do you remember the room with all the time-turners?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"In that room, there's a door and behind that door..."  
  
Harry was interrupted when Hermione began coughing violently. Immediately the two boys were on their feet.  
  
"We're out of time," said Ron tensely.  
  
Hermione slumped forward and gasped for air. "I... can't... breath," she said haltingly.  
  
"It's ok," said Harry soothingly, putting his hand on her cheek. "We're going to take care of you. You just have to trust us." He pushed her shoulders back. "Lie down and close your eyes."  
  
Hermione did as she was told and reached out for Harry's hand. She held it tightly. "Will I... ever... see you again," she asked between gasps.  
  
"Shh," he hushed her gently, pushing the hair back from her forehead. Ron moved closer and took her other hand.  
  
Tears fell down the sides of her face. "I miss your faces," she whispered just before her eyes slid shut._  
  
"There she is," shouted Sirius. "Remus, over there."  
  
Remus swooped low over the lake. He balanced carefully on his broom and shrugged his robe off before diving in after Hermione.  
  
The coldness of the lake water hit his body with the force of a thousand sharp knives. He surfaced above the water and forced himself to take a deep breath before paddling over to Hermione.  
  
He pulled her head out of the water, but in the darkness he could barely see her face. While treading water, he put his ear close to her mouth to see if she was breathing. She wasn't, but he couldn't concentrate on that now. He had to get her out of the lake.  
  
He positioned her so that her head rested against his shoulder, above the water and began kicking as hard as he could back to the shore.  
  
The rest of the group had landed near the edge of the lake and when Remus was close enough, James and Sirius ran into the lake to help him get Hermione out.  
  
Her soaked robe and dead weight was making it difficult to lift her out of the water, but with a unified heave, they managed it.  
  
"She's not breathing," gasped Remus as they settled her on the rocky shore.  
  
"Someone go get help," shouted James.  
  
Immediately Lily bolted for the castle.  
  
"We need light," said Remus as he ripped her robe open and put his ear over her heart.  
  
"Lumos," said James and Sirius simultaneously, holding out their wands.  
  
Remus could feel rather than hear, the flutter of her heart beating faintly.  
  
"She's dead," wailed Peter. "What are we going to do?"  
  
"Shut up, Peter," snapped Remus, his eyes wild with fear. "She's not going to die." By the faint light of his best friend's wands, he could finally see her face. Her lips were blue and her face was deathly pale. He ran his hand down her face and over her lips, hoping to feel her breath.  
  
"Remus, move over," said Sirius, dropping to his knees beside them. He leaned over Hermione and placed his mouth over hers, breathing for her.  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Remus.  
  
Sirius pulled up and ran his hand over her chest. "Damn it," he cried out in frustration. "I can't feel anything underneath this sweater. He pulled out his wand and uttered a spell. Instantly, Hermione's sweater was gone, leaving her in only her bra.  
  
"What are you doing?" shouted Remus in horror.  
  
"CPR," gasped Sirius, pumping Hermione's chest. He leaned over and placed his mouth over hers again. "Learned it in muggle studies," he said as he rose up and pumped her chest again.  
  
"Come on Hermione," he urged. "Breathe." He continued alternating between breathing for her and pumping her chest. After about a minute, Remus couldn't take it anymore. He fell back on his seat as Sirius continued to work on her, staring blankly at James.  
  
James was standing above them all. His hands hung limply at his side and he mouthed the word, 'breathe,' over and over again.  
  
"Hermione, don't do this to us," shouted Sirius. "Breathe, damn it, breathe."  
  
The tears flowed down his face, but he continued to work. As he leaned over to cover her mouth again, Hermione's head jerked to the side and she began to cough.  
  
The lake water dribbled from the corner of her mouth and Sirius quickly turned her so she wouldn't choke on it again. Hermione began to retch violently, expelling the lake water from her body with every heave.  
  
Remus and James gave shouts of joy and moved closer to Sirius and Hermione.  
  
"That's it, Hermione," said Sirius, rubbing her back gently. "Just try to take slow deep breaths."  
  
When it finally seemed that there was nothing left to expel from her stomach, Sirius allowed Hermione to rest on her back. They watched her chest rise and fall for a moment, each one wanting to assure themselves that she was in fact breathing. When she began to visibly shake, they jumped back into action.  
  
"James, give me your robe," commanded Remus.

James took off his robe and handed it to Remus, who promptly wrapped it around Hermione. Then he tucked his arms under her back and legs and lifted her up. "It's ok, Mione," he murmured. "I've got you now. You're going to be ok."  
  
She settled limply in his arms and rested her head against his chest. "Harry," she whispered. Remus looked down at her, but couldn't see her face. "No," he said hesitatingly. "It's not Harry, its Remus. Hermione, do you know where you are?"  
  
"Department of Mysteries... Harry, Ron... Don't leave me... No... Department of Mysteries...," her eyes slid closed as she continued mumbling random words.  
  
"Come on, we've got to get her inside," said Sirius quickly. "Do you want me to carry her, Remus?"  
  
"I've got her," he said sharply, tightening his hold on her. He never wanted to let her go again.  
  
They began walking briskly back to the castle, James and Sirius leading the way, while Remus whispered words of assurance to Hermione.  
  
"Hospital wing," ordered Sirius once they entered the castle and James and Remus immediately obeyed.  
  
There were two students already occupying beds in the hospital wing and Madame Pomfrey was snoring lightly in a chair in her office.  
  
"Madame Pomfrey," called out Sirius as they barged into the ward.  
  
The older witch woke with a start and jumped up from her chair. "What the devil," she cursed as she entered the open ward. "Sirius Black, what do you mean by making all that noise at this time of night?" Then she spotted Remus carrying Hermione. "What on earth? What happened? Why are you two all wet?"  
  
"She fell in the lake," explained Remus as he laid her down on a nearby bed.  
  
"Fell in the lake," said Madame Pomfrey. "How?"  
  
"Well you see," said James slowly, glancing at Sirius. "We were flying over the lake and she fell off her broom."  
  
"James Potter, as head boy you should know better," scolded Madame Pomfrey as she fussed over Hermione. "Remus," she said sharply without looking up. "Get out of those wet clothes, right now. Honestly, you boys...."  
  
She was interrupted when the door to the hospital wing burst open admitting Lily, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Dumbledore.  
  
"How is she doing, Poppy," asked Dumbledore urgently, striding over to the group.  
  
"Oh, they'll be fine," said Madame Pomfrey with a wave of her hand. "Just a little cold and frightened by the looks of it."  
  
"Miss Evans said she'd stopped breathing," injected Professor McGonagall.  
  
"Stopped breathing," said Madame Pomfrey in shock. "You should have said that," she accused. She looked back down at Hermione, who was staring off to the side, her eyes unfocused. Then she walked briskly to her office and came back seconds later with a potion in her hand. She forced Hermione to open her mouth and poured the liquid in. Hermione winced and coughed, but said nothing in protest.  
  
"I think the four of you better start explaining things from the beginning," said Dumbledore sternly. He gave Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus a hard stare and waited.  
  
Sirius looked down uncomfortably. "It's my fault," he said solemnly.  
  
"No," spoke up James. "It was my idea."  
  
Dumbledore put his hand in the air silencing them. "I am sure there is more than enough blame to go around, but I am not interested in that. I would like to know what happened, now."  
  
All four heads dropped again.  
  
"We were sneaking out," confessed James. "We were going to fly to London for the night."  
  
"I see," said Dumbledore seriously. "And I assume Miss Granger fell from her broom while you were attempting to leave Hogwarts."  
  
The four nodded silently.  
  
"And I also assume you are all aware that Miss Granger is neither experienced nor comfortable on a broom, or did that not occur to you."  
  
"We thought she could handle it, sir," injected Lily. "Remus gave her a flying lesson."  
  
"I see," said Dumbledore flatly.  
  
"Yeah," said Sirius uncomfortably. "But we were wrong. She fell off her broom and landed in the lake."  
  
"How long was she in the lake," interrupted Madame Pomfrey, still hovering over Hermione.  
  
"I don't know," admitted Sirius. "Just a couple of minutes, then we found her and Remus dove in and pulled her out, but by then she wasn't breathing."  
  
"But then Sirius did RSP," interrupted James, "and got her breathing again."  
  
"CPR," muttered Sirius.  
  
"Right," corrected James. "CPR, and then we brought her here."  
  
"Is she going to be ok, Madame Pomfrey," asked Lily desperately.  
  
Madame Pomfrey looked angrily at the group. "She will be no thanks to you lot."  
  
Tears fell down Lily's face and each boy looked as if they felt the same way.  
  
"What possessed you to do such a thing," scolded Professor McGonagall.  
  
Nobody could answer. They each knew all too well what almost happened that night and felt the weight of it on their shoulders.  
  
"Please professor," croaked Hermione from her bed and everyone's head turned to her. "Please don't be so hard on them. It's just as much my fault as it is theirs."  
  
"I am well aware of that, Miss Granger," said Professor McGonagall, but in a gentler voice than before.  
  
"Minerva, I think they've had enough scolding for one night. If you would escort them back to Gryffindor tower, we can continue this discussion in the morning."  
  
"Quite right, Albus," agreed Madame Pomfrey. "All right, you lot. You heard the Headmaster."  
  
Lily, James, and Sirius obediently moved to the door, but Remus hung back, staring intently at Hermione. "You too, Mr. Lupin," said Professor McGonagall sharply.  
  
Remus and Hermione's eyes were locked on each other. "Go," she mouthed. "I'll be ok." He nodded and reluctantly followed his friends out.  
  
Professor McGonagall escorted them all the way back to Gryffindor Tower and watched Lily head up the girl's staircase and the boy's head up their own. Once inside their dorm room, Sirius immediately went to Peter's bed and threw the curtains open. The bed was empty. "Where did that little rat disappear to," growled Sirius.  
  
"Who knows," said James angrily. "Did either of you notice when he snuck off?"  
  
Sirius shook his head. "I was so focused on Hermione. I swear when I get my hands... What does he mean by disappearing like that? Afraid of taking part of the blame?"  
  
"You mean all the blame," said Remus quietly.  
  
Sirius and James looked sharply at Remus. "Why do you say that?" asked James.  
  
"Hermione didn't fall off that broom. I was right there. That broom just seemed to give out."  
  
"Come on, Remus," began James. "You can't mean that Peter messed with that broom."  
  
"That's exactly what I mean," argued Remus. "He was the one who volunteered to get that broom."  
  
"Still," said James doubtfully. He turned to Sirius. "What do you think about this, Padfoot?"  
  
Sirius was turned away from James and Remus leaning against the post of his bed. "I don't know what to think," said Sirius. "And right now, I don't care." He got into bed and wrenched his curtains closed.  
  
Remus and James looked at each other in surprise, but said nothing.  
  
"James," said Remus in a lowered voice. "Can I borrow the cloak?"  
  
James nodded immediately. "Where are you going?"  
  
"To check on Hermione," said Remus moving to the door.  
  
Remus went straight to the hospital wing under the cover of the cloak. When he opened the door, Hermione lifted her head and glanced at the open door. Remus checked to make sure Madame Pomfrey was back in her office, asleep, before he threw off the cloak.  
  
"Remus," whispered Hermione.  
  
"Shh," he hushed her. He walked over to her quickly, wanting desperately to hold her, but when he reached her he held back.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked. "You're going to get in trouble."  
  
"I don't care," he said obstinately.  
  
"I'm glad you came," admitted Hermione.  
  
Remus pulled up a chair and sat by her bedside. "Are you ok?"  
  
She nodded. They stared at each other. Each could see the desperation for contact in the others eyes. Finally, Hermione lifted her hand out and touched his face gently. Immediately Remus half stood and crushed Hermione in a tight embrace. Her arms went around his neck and she held him tight against her.  
  
"I was so scared," confessed Hermione in a whisper.  
  
"Me too," returned Remus. "I thought I'd lost you."  
  
Hermione's eyes slid closed she wrapped her arms tighter around him.  
  
"If you had died..." Remus trailed off and pulled away from her. She whimpered at the loss of contact. He cupped her face in his hands. "Hermione, I love you. I was afraid to say it before, because I wasn't sure how you felt, but I don't care anymore. I love you."  
  
"Remus," breathed Hermione.  
  
"You don't have to say it back," he said quickly. "I understand, but I have to tell you how I feel or I'm going to go crazy."  
  
"Remus," Hermione repeated.  
  
"No, I mean it. It doesn't matter to me if you don't love me yet. It doesn't matter if you never love me. It doesn't change how I feel."  
  
"Remus," said Hermione a little too loudly.  
  
"Shh," he hushed her and they both glanced at Madame Pomfrey's office. She was still sleeping in her chair.  
  
"Remus," Hermione said again, a little softer this time. "Would you let me talk?"  
  
"Sorry," he mumbled.  
  
She smiled softly. "I love you too."  
  
He smiled widely. "You do?"  
  
Hermione's heart ached. She knew him well enough by now to know what he was thinking. "You have as much right as anyone else to love and be loved, and I do."  
  
He leaned closer and pressed his lips to hers in a slow gentle kiss. "I love you," he murmured against her lips.

He didn't hold her long. When they finally pulled away from each other, he could see tears in her eyes. He brushed them away gently and kissed each eyelid. "Go to sleep," he whispered. She settled back in bed, but took hold of his hand.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep," she requested.

He smiled and nodded, stroking her hand and occaisionally her face until at last she was asleep.

A/N: See, I told you I'd update soon. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for the reviews as always, I love them.


	14. Chapter 14

Remus, Sirius, James, and Lily stood penitently in front of the Headmaster. Dumbledore sat quietly behind his desk with a very disappointed expression on his face. "I want to express to all of you the danger you put yourselves in last night. Considering the climate in the wizarding world at the moment I would have thought each of you knew better than to attempt to leave the grounds unaccompanied. Because of your reckless behavior, I am taking two hundred points from Gryffindor, forty for each of you. Furthermore, you are not to leave Gryffindor Tower for the next two weeks except to attend classes and meals."

Dumbledore seemed to be waiting for someone to say something, but all they could do was stare at their feet. "I am very disappointed in each of you," he said with a sigh, almost as if it were painful for him to admit. "If you have nothing further to say, you're dismissed."

They quietly filed out of Dumbledore's office and walked back toward Gryffindor Tower. Halfway there, Remus broke away from the group.

"Where are you going, Moony?" asked James.

"To check on Hermione."

"You can't," said Lily urgently. "You heard what Dumbledore said."

"I don't care," said Remus obstinately. "Someone tried to kill her last night and I'm going to make sure she's ok."

"Really Remus," protested Lily. "It was just an accident. We all know that Hermione's not good on a broom. She's said as much herself."

"Are you blaming her?" said Remus angrily.

"Come on, Remus. Calm down. Lily didn't mean anything by that," said James.

"Look," said Remus. "You guys go back. I'm going to check on her." James shrugged, then put his arm around Lily and walked her back to their dormitory.

"I think I'll go with him," said Sirius before hurrying after Remus. He caught up with him and the two of them walked the remainder of the way in silence.

When they got to the hospital wing, they both approached Hermione, who was turned on her side facing away from them.

"Hermione," began Remus cautiously. "Are you awake?"

Hermione turned over and gave them a small smile. "Hi guys."

"Hey Hermione," said Sirius quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"Madame Pomfrey said I'll be fine," she answered quietly.

"That's good," said Remus moving toward her. He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. "Did you sleep well," he asked softly.

She nodded and glanced up at Sirius. "Are we in a lot of trouble," she asked him.

"Some," began Sirius.

"Hermione, you don't have to worry about that," interrupted Remus. "The important thing is that you're ok."

"Remus, I want to know," interrupted Hermione. "Sirius," she said again.

"We got two hundred points taken from Gryffindor and we have to spend the next two weeks in Gryffindor Tower."

Hermione whistled lowly. "Well that beats my record," she said.

Sirius grinned. "Yeah right," he said.

She smiled more to herself than to them. "First year, one hundred and fifty points, of course that was split between three people, not six, so technically…"

"Five," corrected Remus.

"Huh?" said Hermione.

"Two hundred points split between five, not six."

Hermione looked at him questioningly.

"Last night, sometime after we pulled you out of the lake, Peter disappeared. We haven't seen him since," Remus explained.

"I can't say that I'm surprised," said Hermione. "It doesn't matter. It's just less points from Gryffindor. So," continued Hermione, changing the subject. "Do you guys feel like filling me in on the details from last night? I don't really remember much."

"What's the last thing you remember?" asked Sirius.

Hermione's mind flashed back to the memory of Harry and Ron standing over her, reassuring her that they would take care of her. "I remember falling off my broom," she lied.

"You landed in the lake and we couldn't find you right away," said Sirius quietly. "When we finally did, Remus jumped in and swam you to shore."

"You weren't breathing," said Remus, picking up the story. "So Sirius gave you CPR."

"Once we were sure you were breathing ok," finished Sirius. "We brought you here."

Hermione smiled wickedly. "At what point in that story did you guys take off my sweater?" Both Remus and Sirius turned brick red and Hermione laughed loudly. "Did you think I didn't notice?"

"Well we… That is, I had to. I couldn't…," stuttered Sirius.

Hermione put her hand on Sirius's arm. "I was only teasing," she reassured him. "I guess I have you to thank for saving my life."

"Remus was the one who pulled you out of the lake," said Sirius modestly, but he smiled in spite of himself.

"Yeah, well she already thanked me last night," said Remus, teasingly.

Hermione swatted his shoulder affectionately. Remus caught her hand and they shared a secretive smile, before she returned her attention back to Sirius.

"You two really shouldn't be here," said Hermione. "You could get in more trouble."

"I know," said Remus. "But I had to check and make sure you were ok."

"Thanks," she said with a smile. "I really do feel ok. I think Madam Pomfrey will let me sleep in my own room tonight."

"Good," said Remus, getting up. "Then we'll see you tonight." He leaned in and kissed her softly, lingering for a bit.

"Bye," she said softly, smiling up at him.

"See you later, Hermione," said Sirius.

"Try to stay out of trouble," she cautioned them teasingly.

"No promises," teased Sirius back.

She knew she should rest once they left, but she felt too keyed up to lie down. Her mind was filled with the memory of the previous night. She had barely slept all night because of it.

The worse part of it all was that she had no way of knowing if what she had seen last night was real. The more time passed, the more she convinced herself that it couldn't be. 'You nearly died," she told herself. 'Your mind was playing tricks on you.' She said this over and over to herself all night, but she couldn't shake the idea that it was more than just a hallucination. It had felt so real at the time.

Hermione sat quietly with her eyes closed trying to remember the details from the night before. She could see Harry and Ron's faces. Harry had mentioned the Department of Mysteries, but Hermione couldn't understand what that meant. She needed answers, but she didn't know how to get them.

With a sigh, she opened her eyes. She was surprised to see Dumbledore standing a few feet away from. "Oh," she gasped.

"Forgive me for startling you," apologized Dumbledore. "I just came to see how you were feeling."

"It's ok, sir," said Hermione quickly. "I'm feeling fine."

"You gave us all quite a scare last night," he said seriously.

"I know," said Hermione, bowing her head. "I'm sorry."

"Believe me, Miss Granger, I do vaguely remember what it was like to be young, but you out of everyone should know the danger you nearly put yourselves in last night."

"I know," said Hermione quietly. "It was stupid, very stupid. I just wanted," she paused. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to forget about the coming war and everything that I know we're going to have to do. I just wanted to forget everything I know and just be normal."

Dumbledore sighed deeply. "Perhaps then this is my fault."

Hermione looked up sharply. "How could it be your fault?"

Dumbledore smiled kindly at her. "You act so much like an adult, that I allowed myself to forget that you are just a teenager. And what's more, you're a young woman away from everyone you've ever known and loved, thrust into an overwhelming situation."

"I know what we did last night was very irresponsible, but I don't want you to think that I did what I did because I'm under too much stress."

"Aren't you," challenged Dumbledore gently. "It's not something you should be ashamed of, Hermione."

"What are you saying sir?"

"I think that you and I should take a break from our meetings."

"No," protested Hermione.

"Miss Granger, I've already made up my mind. You need more time to be a teenager. Once you've graduated we can reevaluate the situation, but for now I can ask no more of you."

"But sir, we can't just stop fighting. Voldemort…"

"I'm not suggesting that anything be stopped. The information you've provided me has been invaluable. And for now, it will be enough."

"It's not enough," shouted Hermione. "I can't stop now, not when we've only just begun. I won't."

"Hermione, listen to yourself. You've done more than anyone had any right to ask."

"Please," she begged.

"I'm sorry, Miss Granger. My decision is final."

Hermione turned away angrily. "And if people start dying," she said, the challenge evident in her voice.

"It won't be your fault," he replied quietly. "You have taken too much on your shoulders. It's time you let others carry the burden." He moved away from her. "Please try and get some rest."

Hermione set her jaw and glared angrily at Dumbledore's exiting back. She could feel her temper rising and she wanted to shout and throw things, but she knew an angry outburst would solve nothing. She couldn't let Dumbledore stop her, not when she was making so much progress.

She jumped out of bed and immediately regretted her hasty movement. Her head pounded and she felt like she was floating. She reached out to the edge of the bed and steadied herself. Once she was sure she could stand, she grabbed her things and slowly began to dress.

As quickly as her body would let her, she walked to Gryffindor Tower. When she reached the common room, she was immediately besieged by her friends.

"Hermione, they let you out," said Lily happily. "How are you feeling?"

"Actually, I left. I didn't want to stay in the hospital wing all day."

"That wasn't very smart. Madam Pomfrey will come down on you like a hawk once she sees you're gone," said James.

"Trust me," said Hermione. "I'm well aware of how Madam Pomfrey will react, but I'm not staying there all day."

"Why, what happened?" asked Remus slowly.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter," said Hermione. Now that she was back in the dorm room she found that she didn't really want to be around anyone. "I think I'm going to go upstairs and lie down."

"Do you want some help up?" asked Lily.

"No," replied Hermione. "I can make it up. I just want to be alone."

They watched her disappear up the staircase. "Lily," began Remus. "Maybe you better go check on her. She looked kind of pale."

"She said she wanted to be alone, Remus," said Lily softly. "I think we should give her some space. Let's just sit down. It's been a long night and I'm exhausted."

They all sat together in front of the fireplace. James leaned tiredly against Lily and she played with his hair absentmindedly. Sirius sat wearily in a large chair and Remus sat opposite him, keeping his eye on the girl's staircase.

"So, has anyone seen Peter?" Lily asked carefully.

"Nope," said James.

"He'd have some nerve to come back after last night," growled Sirius.

"You guys don't still think he had something to do with that accident, do you?" Neither James nor Sirius answered her. Remus didn't appear to have heard her. "It's ridiculous. Peter would never hurt a fly." She felt James go tense in her arms. "James?"

"Lily, let's not talk about Peter. I think it's highly unlikely we'll be seeing him today. He'll wait until things cool down."

Lily sighed, but obligingly changed the subject. "Sirius, we never gave you your presents."

Sirius smiled. "It's ok, Lily."

"No, it's your birthday and you should have presents." She pushed James forward and stood up. "I'll be right back." She went upstairs and straight to her room.

She saw Hermione lying on her bed, but not sleeping. She approached her hesitatingly. "You feel ok?"

"I wish people would stop asking me that," she snapped.

"Sorry," apologized Lily.

Immediately Hermione felt bad. "No, I'm sorry. I'm just a little tense."

Lily sat on the bed next to her. "You know, you have every right to be. It was really scary last night. You should talk about it. It isn't good to keep things inside."

"Did Remus send you up here to check on me?" she asked, changing the subject.

"No, I came up to get the gift I got for Sirius. We never got a chance to give him his presents."

"That's a good idea," said Hermione. "Would you bring him mine?"

"Don't you want to give it to him yourself?" asked Lily.

"I don't really feel like being around anyone right now."

"You could wait and give it to him later."

"No, give it to him now." She reached over to the small table next to her bed, pulled out a tiny wrapped box and handed it to Lily. "It isn't likely that his parents sent him anything, so..." she paused. Lily was giving her a strange look. "What?"

Lily shook her head. "Nothing, never mind."

"What Lily?"

"It's just, sometimes it seems like you know so much about all of us, like you've known us all for years." Hermione froze, waiting for her to continue. Lily stood up and moved toward the door. "I'll come and check on you later," she said quietly. "Try to get some rest."

Hermione dropped back onto her bed. She was getting so tired of these games. She had been so sure that she was doing the right thing. Now nothing felt certain. For the first time in months she found herself really longing for home.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Snape, I need to talk to you," said Peter quietly. The two boys were in the library separated by a row of books.

"You shouldn't be here, Peter," replied Snape through gritted teeth.

"It didn't work," hissed Peter. "What do I do now?"

Snape moved from behind the bookcase to stare at Peter. "Incompetent fool," he spat. "We gave you everything you needed. How could it not work?"

"They pulled her out of the lake within minutes," said Peter with a touch of anger in his voice. "I had no control." When Snape didn't reply he continued hurriedly. "Snape, what do I do now?"

"Do? Nothing, you're done."

"No," said Peter a little too loudly grabbing Snape's arm.

"Let go and lower your voice," said Snape through gritted teeth and Peter immediately dropped his arm.

"They're not stupid," said Peter. "They'll know I did something to that broom."

"I thought you said they didn't suspect you?"

Peter stared at the floor. "They didn't, but after last night."

Snape sighed in irritation. "What did you do?"

"I snuck off after they pulled her out of the lake," mumbled Peter.

Snape laughed derisively. "And they say Gryffindors are supposed to be brave. Are you sure you weren't supposed to be sorted into Hufflepuff, Pettigrew?"

Peter said nothing, but glared angrily at Snape.

After a few silent minutes, Snape continued. "You have to figure out a way to get them to forgive you. Tell them you panicked, beg, do whatever you have to."

"They'll never accept me now," whined Peter.

Snape grabbed the front of his robe angrily and pushed him against the closest wall. "Do you think this is a game, Pettigrew? The Dark Lord does not play. If Granger knows as much as you say she does, then she must be eliminated. You guaranteed you could do it. The Dark Lord does not want to show his hand by making a move to take over Hogwarts yet. She has to be taken care of from the inside." Snape regarded Peter cautiously. "Or is it that you've been lying about what you've said about Granger?"

"No," said Peter quickly. "I swear. I've overheard her talking to James, Sirius, Remus and even Dumbledore. She knows things about the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord."

"Have you been able to figure out how she knows these things yet?"

"No," admitted Peter. "But I will. Remus, James, and Sirius know. I'm sure they do. You just have to be patient."

Snape smiled slowly. "Maybe we've been going after the wrong person then."

Peter's eyes grew wide. "You said they wouldn't be hurt."

Snape tightened his grip on Peter. "You have to decide whose side you're on Pettigrew. Besides, what have Potter, Black, and Lupin ever done but tolerate you. If you weren't a Gryffindor they would have never put up with you. They've proven that since Granger's been here. See how quickly you were replaced? Prove yourself to the Dark Lord and he will never discard you as easily as your so called friends have. Now, whose side are you on?"

"Your side," said Peter quietly.

Snape smiled again. "No Pettigrew, not my side, his side."


	15. Chapter 15

Peter walked slowly back to Gryffindor Tower. He had no idea what he was going to say to explain his behavior, but he had to do something. He had made so many promises to Snape and the Slytherins and he shuddered to think what would happen to him if he didn't follow through.  
  
He gave the password to the Fat Lady and stepped into the common room. No one was around so he made his way up to his room. He was hopeful for a few seconds that no one would be there, but his hopes were quickly dashed when he saw Sirius lounging on his bed.  
  
"Hello, Sirius," he said timidly before moving toward his bed, which was thankfully located on the opposite side of the room from Sirius's. Sirius didn't move, but watched Peter very carefully. "Where are the others?" asked Peter quietly, feeling very uneasy with Sirius's silence.  
  
"Where have you been?" Sirius returned.  
  
"Around," said Peter timidly.  
  
"Around?" repeated Sirius. "What, lots of studying to do?" said Sirius, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
Peter nervously seized on the suggested alibi. "Yeah, yeah I was in the library, studying. You know how hopeless I am and the N.E.W.T.s will be here before we know it." He laughed nervously and continued to prattle on. "I never was good with school like you, James, and Remus. I need all the help I..."  
  
"Do you think I'm stupid, Peter," said Sirius icily. Peter glanced at him cautiously. Sirius was still in bed, but his whole body was tense, as if he were ready to pounce.  
  
"No," said Peter loudly. "I..." He trailed off as he saw the dangerous look Sirius was shooting at him.  
  
"What happened to you last night?" asked Sirius, very slowly.  
  
Peter took a deep breath and stood up straight. "How is Hermione?" he asked carefully.  
  
In a flash, Sirius was on his feet and had Peter's collar in two clenched fist. "Don't you dare," he spit out. "Don't you dare ask how she is."  
  
"Sirius please," choked out Peter, pulling uselessly at Sirius's clenched fists.  
  
"Did you do something to her broom?" shouted Sirius. "Did you cause her accident?"  
  
"No," gasped Peter. "How could you think that?"  
  
Sirius stared stormily into Peter's eyes, searching for the truth. After a few moments of silence, he hissed, "I don't believe you." He dragged Peter from their room out into the hallway, all the way to the balcony.  
  
Sirius had Peter in such a tight grip that he was finding it difficult to breathe. He coughed and sputtered and did his best to stay upright as Sirius dragged him along. Peter saw in horror what Sirius's intentions were and he began to struggle, but his struggles were nothing against Sirius's adrenaline filled anger. Sirius pushed Peter up to the edge of the balcony tipping him dangerously over the railing. "Sirius," shouted a petrified Peter.  
  
"Tell the truth, Peter. Did you touch that broom?"  
  
"No," whimpered Peter and he gripped Sirius's arms tighter as he felt his feet lift off the ground. "Help," screamed Peter in terror.  
  
At that precise moment, James, Lily, Remus, and Hermione returned from dinner. Hermione, who was still physically and emotionally exhausted from the previous night, was leaning sleepily against Remus. All four of them stared in horror at the sight of Sirius dangling Peter over the edge of the balcony.  
  
"Help me," choked out Peter again, tears streaming down the sides of his face.  
  
The room was instant commotion, with everyone shouting at once. Hermione seemed to be the only one thinking rationally, however. She whipped out her wand and cast a spell at Sirius and Peter causing both of them to fall back onto the hard floor of the balcony. Then the four of them raced up the stairs toward them.  
  
Lily immediately went to Peter, who was still coughing and crying, and kneeled next to him. James and Remus helped Sirius up. Hermione's spell seemed to have been a little too powerful. It had knocked the wind out of Sirius.  
  
Hermione stood worriedly in front of Sirius, running her hands over his head and through his hair checking for bumps. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to make it so strong."  
  
"You should have let me throw him over the damn balcony," muttered Sirius rubbing the back of his head. "Hermione, don't fuss. I'm fine."  
  
"What happened, Padfoot?" asked James. "What he do?"  
  
"Do?" whimpered Peter from two feet away. "I didn't do anything." There were tears streaming down his face and he pushed Lily's hand away when she offered to help him up. "Since she's been here," he said, pointing an accusing finger at Hermione. "I keep getting attacked for absolutely no reason."  
  
"Don't play innocent, Peter," snapped Remus. "We all know you did something to that broom."  
  
"I did not," cried Peter. "But what does it matter what I say or do. You all are determined to get rid of me."  
  
"That's not true, Peter," said Lily tearfully. "You're our friend. The boys are just mad because you ran off last night. Right guys?"  
  
James, Sirius, and Remus did nothing to confirm Lily's statement.  
  
"It's ok, Lily," said Peter pathetically. "I know when I'm not wanted." He looked at the boys and Hermione. "I'm sorry I ran off last night, but I was afraid. You know I was never brave like the rest of you. The sorting hat should have stuck me in Hufflepuff, or chucked me out of the school all together," he cried dramatically.  
  
"James, tell him that's not true," entreated Lily. "Please, let's not fight."  
  
Peter looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry I ran away. It was wrong. But, I would never do anything to hurt any one of you. You're the only friends I have." He began to move away from the group, "even if you don't want to be my friends anymore."  
  
"You're such a little rat, Pettigrew," snarled Remus.  
  
"Remus," said Hermione quietly, putting her hand on his arm. "Don't."  
  
Remus looked helplessly at his girlfriend. "Hermione, you know what he's capable of," he whispered so no one else could hear. "Don't give him another chance to hurt you."  
  
"Remus, I have to try and save him too," said Hermione quietly. She looked at Peter, who had his back to them all. "Peter wait," she called after him. He turned back slowly. "If you say you had nothing to do with the accident, then I'll believe you."  
  
"I swear," he said walking toward her hopefully.  
  
She took a deep breath and turned to the boys. "I'm the one who got hurt, so I have the right to do this," she told them. "I don't want you treating Peter any differently on my account," she said. None of the boys said a word. Hermione sighed deeply. "Peter, maybe you better give everyone a little space for now. We're all pretty tired and our nerves are on edge." Peter stood uncertainly. "I promise things will get better," she said. "Right guys?"  
  
"Whatever you say, Hermione," said Sirius.  
  
"Yeah, sure," said James.  
  
Remus merely squeezed her hand in affirmation.  
  
Nobody moved. "Um, Peter, we can't leave Gryffindor Tower, its part of our punishment," said Hermione and immediately regretted her words when she felt the boys tense behind her. "Maybe you better go and get something to eat," she hurried on. "Until everyone cools off."  
  
Peter nodded and made a quick escape, but first he smiled at Hermione and gave her a small "thanks."  
  
Hermione turned back to Sirius. She gave him a small smile. "You weren't really going to throw him off the balcony, were you?"  
  
He grinned widely, but said nothing. Hermione quickly covered her mouth to hide the wider smile that escaped. When she had composed herself she continued. "Promise me you won't do it again," she said.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I won't promise that."  
  
Remus laughed. "Then at least promise I can be with you next time."  
  
"Stop," laughed Hermione. "I'm dead serious about this. It's not too late for Peter anymore than its too late for you," she stabbed her finger into Sirius's chest, "to learn to control your temper."  
  
"I can control my temper," objected Sirius.  
  
"Yeah and you've got the bump on your head to prove it," teased Hermione. They all laughed and continued bantering with each other.  
  
Lily watched from outside the group with a sinking feeling in her stomach. She came up to James and spoke quietly to him. "James, can I talk to you?"  
  
James immediately separated himself from the group and followed Lily. When she was sure no one could overhear, she began. "James, what the hell is going on?"  
  
"What do you mean, Lil?" asked James in confusion.  
  
"What was that back there? Peter would never hurt a fly and yet somehow you all believe that he's capable of trying to kill Hermione. Sirius was about to push him over the balcony." She shook her head as if she were trying to wrap her head around the idea. "It's not like the fall would have killed him or anything, but Sirius could have really hurt him."  
  
"You know Sirius's temper," said James lamely.  
  
"James Potter, are you going to tell me what's going on or not?"  
  
"Nothing Lily, nothing. It's like Hermione said. We're all tired and our nerves are on edge."  
  
"I don't know why," began Lily slowly. "But I don't like the hold she has over you three."  
  
"She doesn't have any hold over us, Lily," said James with a smile. "You're not jealous, are you?" he teased.  
  
"Should I be," she asked seriously and with a little fear in her voice.  
  
"No," said James immediately. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around the love of his life. "Never. Hermione Granger doesn't have the slightest hold over me. You're the only girl who ever has."  
  
Lily visibly relaxed and returned his embrace. "James, how well do we really know Hermione?" James didn't answer, but kissed Lily long and hard. "Don't change the subject," she said breathlessly, when he released her.  
  
"I'd trust Hermione with both our lives," said James seriously. He held Lily's gaze, trying to communicate his words through his eyes as well as his mouth. "If you can't trust her, then trust me."  
  
"I don't distrust her," explained Lily. "I just think there's more to Hermione Granger than she's letting on and I don't want anything to happen to you."  
  
"Lil, nothing is going to happen to me. I promise."  
  
Lily responded by wrapping her arms tightly around James. She trusted James implicitly, but she made up her mind then and there to keep one eye on Hermione from now on.  
  
Later that night, when everyone else had gone to bed, Remus and Hermione stayed up talking. They sat together in front of the fireplace holding each other and relaxing. Remus was threading his fingers in and out of Hermione's, occasionally bringing them up to his lips to kiss.  
  
"You tired?" he asked softly.  
  
"Exhausted," returned Hermione through a yawn. She leaned more heavily against him. "But not ready to go up yet."  
  
He smiled. "You should rest," he said half-heartedly. But he really didn't want to leave her any more than she wanted to leave him.  
  
"I am resting," she said. "My eyes are closed." He glanced sideways at her to confirm and then swooped down for a kiss. She opened her eyes in surprise and smiled against his lips. Then she brought her hands up and held him to her, returning his kiss with equal fervor.  
  
"God I love you," he whispered. She moaned in response and pulled him to her again. When kissing was no longer enough, Remus pushed Hermione gently with his body until she was laying flat on the sofa and he was above her.  
  
Hermione took several deep breaths as Remus stayed very still, running his eyes over her body. There was something in them she had never seen before. Tentatively, she reached up and pulled him to her, their legs and arms entwining and their mouths crashing together in a heated intense kiss.  
  
Remus had one hand cradling her head, while the other stroked her leg. Hermione's mind couldn't form a coherent thought as he did this. All she knew was his lips and tongue and hands. Without thinking, Hermione reached for the bottom of his shirt and was beginning to pull it upwards when they both heard someone enter the common room.  
  
The realization that they weren't in a private place jolted them back to reality so quickly that Remus nearly fell off the sofa. Hermione tried not to giggle at him as she smoothed down her skirt and patted her hair uselessly. Remus tugged needlessly at his own shirt and stood.  
  
Peter had returned to Gryffindor Tower, but to their great relief hadn't seemed to notice them at first.  
  
"Hi," he said, timidly approaching them.  
  
"Hi," returned Hermione. She glanced up at Remus to see if he had collected himself.  
  
"Hey Peter," said Remus grudgingly. He returned to Hermione's side and put his arm around her possessively. "Well goodnight then," he said pointedly.  
  
Peter blushed. "Yeah, goodnight." He moved to the stairway. "See you in the morning."  
  
Remus and Hermione watched him disappear upstairs before returning their attention to each other.  
  
"That was close," said Remus with a smile.  
  
"In more ways than one," said Hermione quietly. "Remus," she began tentatively. "That was really intense."  
  
"Yeah," he agreed, stroking her cheek. "Amazing."  
  
She smiled and leaned into his touch. He leaned in to kiss her again. "No wait," she said abruptly, pulling away from him.  
  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
  
She bit her bottom lip, her forehead creased with worry. "Remus we can't. I don't think we should..." she blushed, unable to finish the sentence.  
  
Remus understood immediately and smiled tenderly. "Hermione, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do."  
  
"That's the trouble," she said. "I did want to."  
  
"You did," said Remus, slightly surprised.  
  
"Yes, but I don't think we should."  
  
"Okay," said a very confused Remus.  
  
"It seems too soon to me. I don't want to regret it later." She paused, not knowing how to continue.  
  
Remus took her hand and kissed it chastely. "I don't want to do anything we'll regret in the morning. When it's right, we'll know."  
  
Hermione smiled gratefully. "I think maybe we should go to bed."  
  
"Okay," he said standing up. He walked her over to her staircase and kissed her sweetly, but thoroughly. "Goodnight."  
  
"I love you," she whispered.  
  
"I love you too," he returned, before giving her a quick push up the staircase. "See you in the morning."  
  
She smiled and disappeared up the stairs. He waited a few minutes, before returning to his room as well.  
  
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
A/N: Hi all! I hope everyone liked that chapter. It was very fun to write. Can I see a show of hands from those of you who would have liked to see Sirius throw Peter off that balcony? I wanted to very badly, but unfortunately I need Peter alive and well for later chapters. Review, review, review and thanks for reading. 


	16. Chapter 16

Unbeknownst to anyone, Hermione hadn't had a proper night's sleep since the night she had nearly drowned. Whether she tossed and turned until two or three in the morning trying to get to sleep or was woken with a jolt by a nightmare that faded before she came to full consciousness, the result was the same. Hermione was not sleeping more than three hours a night at best.  
  
For the life of her, she didn't know what was wrong. All she knew was that she felt a restlessness in her spirit that wouldn't let her be. When she was able to aid Dumbledore in the war against Voldemort and his Death Eaters, she had felt driven and useful. She had slept well then. Now that Dumbledore had refused her help, she felt like she lacked purpose. She felt powerless to stop what she feared was coming.  
  
Hermione did her best during the day to tire herself out. She spent endless hours studying in the library, she went for long walks with Remus every afternoon after class, and she even stayed up in the common room playing chess, exploding snap, or just gossiping with the rest of her friends. But as soon as her head hit her pillow, her eyes seemed to snap open.  
  
It was in these late hours, and only then, that she dwelled on the night she had seen Harry and Ron in her vision. The longer time passed, the more sure she was that she had been with them that night. But that did little to comfort her. Harry had started to tell her of the Department of Mysteries and the room with the time turners and she knew that the answers to all her questions would be there. The problem she now faced was deciding whether she really wanted answers.  
  
Hermione was getting very good at hiding her lack of sleep from everyone. When exhaustion and crankiness seemed just about to overtake her she would excuse herself and seek out a few minutes of solitude to get herself together. She also began using spells to cover the darkening circles under her eyes.  
  
For the most part it worked. No one seemed to notice that Hermione was on the verge of a serious mental break down. No one, that is, except Sirius. He watched, in the weeks following her accident, as the brightness in her eyes seemed to dim. He also noticed that she rarely smiled anymore. She laughed at every joke she was told, but never smiled and the laughter never seemed to reach her eyes.  
  
One late night when everyone had gone to bed, but Hermione and himself, he approached her. She was sitting on the floor hunched over a long roll of parchment, a quill in her right hand.  
  
"Hermione," he began tentatively.  
  
"What?" she asked looking up, trying desperately to keep the edge from her voice.  
  
"Why don't you call it a night," he suggested. "You look dead tired."  
  
"Can't," she said through a yawn. "I've got to finish this Transfiguration Essay."  
  
"That's not due for another week," he remarked.  
  
"I don't want to get behind," she replied testily.  
  
He sat down carefully next to her, not saying anything, just watching. After a few minutes, Hermione threw down her quill and turned angrily to him. "What?"  
  
He shifted uncomfortably, but matched her gaze. "Are you going to tell me what's the matter with you, or should I start to guess?"  
  
"Sirius," she began the irritation clear in her voice. "What are you on about? I'm trying to finish this essay."  
  
He bit back the sarcastic comment that came immediately to mind. "I'm just worried about you, ok. You're not yourself lately."  
  
Hermione looked at him warily. "I'm fine," she said returning to her essay. Sirius reached over and plucked the quill from her hand. "Hey," she protested. "Give it back," she said grabbing for the quill.  
  
"No," said Sirius stubbornly. "Not until you tell me what's wrong." Hermione pushed him back forcefully and pinned him to the ground. Sirius grunted with pain as her knees dug into his side. She yanked the quill from his hand and pushed herself back up.  
  
Sirius didn't sit up, but watched her curiously as she hunched back over her parchment and resumed her scribbling. He was so flabbergasted by what she had just done. They had tussled often enough, but always in a playful and teasing manner. It wasn't like Hermione to be rough. She was always so gentle and patient with everyone. He saw nothing but hollowness in her eyes.  
  
Sirius slowly pulled himself up, never taking his eyes from her. He settled himself back on the couch and watched her in astonishment until she gathered her things and stormed up to her room without so much as a backwards glance at him.  
  
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Remus and Hermione were walking around the castle grounds. Remus was doing his best to keep the conversation moving, but Hermione wasn't being very cooperative.  
  
"Hermione," he said softly. "Are you even listening to me?"  
  
"Yes," she returned.  
  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing," she said quickly, too quickly.  
  
He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. "You've been quiet like this for weeks now. I thought you were just trying to process what happened to you on Sirius's birthday, but that was nearly a month ago. I'm starting to think it's me."  
  
"It's not you," she said trying to assure him. "It's me." Then she laughed. "That's a horrible line. It's not you, it's me."  
  
Remus didn't laugh. "It's not you, it's me always means the exact opposite is true."  
  
Hermione stopped and pulled Remus around to face her. "It doesn't this time." She sighed wanting to be able to talk to him about what she was feeling, but not knowing what to say or how to begin. She couldn't even explain it to herself. "I love you," she began.  
  
"I love you too," he replied, but his response was guarded as if he was afraid of where she was going.  
  
She smiled sadly and moved toward him. She put her arms around his waist and rested her forehead against his chest. With a sigh he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "I talked to Sirius this morning," he said softly.  
  
She tensed in his arms, but he held her firmly. "Do you want to tell me what happened last night?"  
  
She sucked her teeth and with only a little effort, pulled away from him. "Nothing, Sirius is just such a pest sometimes."  
  
"True," agreed Remus. "But he is your friend and he's worried about you."  
  
Hermione put her hands on her hips. "Well you can tell him that I don't appreciate being interrupted when I work."  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow at her. "I'd say tackling him was a bit of an overreaction, even for you."  
  
"I barely touched him," she replied with a roll of the eyes.  
  
"He's not the only one you've been touchy with lately," Remus continued. "You and Lily seem more like uncomfortable acquaintances than friends lately. And you can't even look at James in the eye anymore. The only person you can spare any patience for lately is Peter and he deserves it less than anyone."  
  
"I have to, none of you have any patience for him," she snapped. But she immediately felt ashamed for her harsh tone. She wanted to deny his other charges, but she knew they were true. She wasn't sure when it had happened or why it had started, but she and Lily grew further apart each passing day. And she couldn't look at James because the mere sight of him reminded her of everything she wanted to forget.  
  
"I'm just tired," she said lamely.  
  
"And that's another thing," he continued. "Lily says you're up till all hours of the night, but there isn't a morning I don't have to pull you out of the library to come eat breakfast."  
  
"It's the N.E.W.T.s," she said, offering up the most likely excuse.  
  
"No, it's not," he returned. "There's something else. I wish you would talk to me," he said with a sigh."  
  
Hermione paused, suddenly feeling every sleepless night and stray worry in her body. "I want to," she said. "But I'm afraid you'll think I've completely lost it."  
  
He smiled. "I would never think that. You can tell me anything."  
  
"Be careful what you wish for," she teased half heartedly.  
  
"Hermione, you're stalling."  
  
"Okay," she sighed. She took a deep breath before plunging ahead. "I saw something that night, the night at the lake," she said quietly. "And I haven't been able to stop thinking of it since."  
  
"What do you mean you saw something?" he asked.  
  
"Before you pulled me out of the lake..." she paused, feeling anxiety coursing through her body. "I think, that is I did, at least I think I did. Oh bother, I saw Harry and Ron. I spoke with them."  
  
He took a step closer to her so that he could look in her eyes. He could see how upset and unsure she was. "Hermione," he began gently. "You nearly died that night. It probably wasn't anything but a hallucination or something like that."  
  
She shook her head. "Don't you think I've told myself that every day for the last four weeks? I can't shake the feeling that there's more to it than that. I feel like there's something I have to do."  
  
He looked away from her. "What?" she asked. Remus felt decidedly uncomfortable. "What?" she repeated.  
  
"Don't you think, maybe, you're trying to find an excuse to keep busy? I mean, since Dumbledore stopped meeting with you. Why can't you just relax?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked Hermione, trying to keep the edge off her voice. "I can relax. What are we doing right now, walking around the lake?" she challenged.  
  
Remus couldn't stop the smile that flicked across his face. "I'm sorry. You're right. We're very relaxed right now." He squeezed her hand tightly. "Honey, I just want you to be happy."  
  
"I can't be happy with all these unanswered questions. Can't you understand that?"  
  
"It sounds like you've made some kind of decision about something and you just don't want to tell me."  
  
Hermione looked into Remus' eyes and suddenly she realized that she had made a decision. She would never be able to rest until she had answers. She had always been this way and fighting her true nature was making her sick. She sighed deeply. "I need to go to the Department of Mysteries."  
  
"The Department of Mysteries," he repeated. His memory flashed back to the night of the accident. He remembered holding her in his arms and hearing her mumble incoherently. She had said something about Ron and Harry and the Department of Mysteries. He wondered why he had blocked that bit out until just now. "What's in the Department of Mysteries?"  
  
"Answers," she stated simply.  
  
"What are the questions?" he asked in frustration, moving away from her.  
  
She let him take a few steps away from him before she started to follow. "You have to understand," she began.  
  
He turned back to her angrily. "Understand what? That you want to leave? That's it isn't it? That's why you've suddenly become so cold and distant. You want to go to the Department of Mysteries to see if they can send you home." She was surprised to see that there were tears in his eyes. "After we pulled you out of that lake the person you called out for was Harry. With you, it's always about him. You changed the future to save him. You're helping Dumbledore defeat Voldemort for him. You've said more than once that you would die for him. Well I think you love him and you've realized you can't be without him."  
  
"This isn't about Harry," she interrupted.  
  
"It's always about him," he shouted angrily. "I had you in my arms and I was thanking the fates that they didn't take you from me and you called out for him."  
  
"You're being jealous for no reason. I'm not in love with Harry and I never was. I'm in love with you."  
  
"Then why don't you want to stay here with me?" he asked weakly.  
  
"I never said I didn't. You're the one who thinks I want to leave you. I don't."  
  
"Then why go to the Department of Mysteries?"  
  
She couldn't look at him. "Because I have to, I have to know what that vision meant. Harry and Ron as good as told me to go. I know it's what I'm supposed to do. I feel it."  
  
He looked at her and she could see only pain in his eyes and then anger. He turned and quickly strode back to the castle.  
  
"You asked," she shouted accusingly at his back. "If I can't be honest with you, then let me know. If all you want to hear out of me is how great things are and how happy I am then just say so." She wished desperately that he had turned and continued their argument, but the fight had left him and he continued moving away from her.  
  
Hermione balled her hands into fist so tightly she could feel her nails cutting into her palms. She was so frustrated. Nothing in her life had prepared her for what it would feel like to be in love with Remus. The giddiness and anxiety that came from being close to him was always threatening to overwhelm her. She was happy just to spend a quarter of an hour talking to him, but always with the happiness came fear. She knew how dangerous their world was and it only got more dangerous by the day. She couldn't imagine losing the love of her life, because that's what he was to her, when she had just found it.  
  
She had only ever thought herself in love once before, but the confusing feelings she had had for Ron Weasley were nothing like the overwhelming feelings she had for Remus. It was only now that she realized that Ron would have never been more to her than her best friend.  
  
She knew she was starting to make a life for herself in this time and she knew that meant letting go of everything she had left behind. But she would never be able to let go as long as there were unanswered questions. It wasn't in her nature to leave a question unanswered. So, even if it meant hurting him, she knew she had to go. She only hoped he would forgive her when she came back.  
  
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
A/N: Wow, that last chapter broke all records for reviews. I can't imagine the response if I had actually had Sirius throw him off the balcony. This was a transitional type of chapter, but I hoped you enjoyed it. Was it a little too dramatic? I really want to know even if the answer is yes. I just hope that it's clear that the stakes are getting very high for Remus and Hermione emotionally. Well anyway, hope you all enjoyed the chapter, now sending me lots of lovely reviews so I can be inspired to write my little heart out. (I'm such a horrible beggar, aren't I?) 


	17. Chapter 17

Hermione stayed by the lake for a long time after Remus left her. She went over to the nearest tree and sat comfortably against its bark. Winter's chill had long gone and she began to feel a bit warm even under the trees thick covering of leaves.  
  
She felt completely defeated. She had always thought she could count on Remus to support her and the thought of doing something that obviously made him so unhappy only made her feel worse.  
  
She felt all the answers she wanted and needed were now suddenly out of her reach. She began to wonder what others would do in her place. What would Harry do? What would James do? What would her parents do? What would Dumbledore do? "This isn't helping," she screamed out loud in frustration.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
Hermione nearly jumped out of skin. She turned to see Sirius standing a few feet away from her. "You scared me half to death, Sirius," she accused, holding her hand to her heart.  
  
"Sorry," he said sincerely. He approached her and took a seat close to her. "You doing okay?"  
  
"Remus talked to you," she stated.  
  
"Yeah," he acknowledged. "He's really upset. We all are." He took a deep breath. "You're not really going to leave are you?"  
  
"Did he tell you everything?" she asked. Sirius nodded. "Then what would you do?" she asked curiously. Sirius turned away uncomfortably. "No, seriously, what would you do?"  
  
"Let me ask you a question," he said changing the subject. "What are you hoping to get out of going to the Department of Mysteries? Are you hoping they'll be able to send you back? Because, if Albus Dumbledore can't figure out a way to send you home, then no one can."  
  
"You've never been inside the Department of Mysteries, have you?" asked Hermione. Sirius shook her head. "Well I have. And if you'd seen the things I'd seen in there, then you might not say that."  
  
"So then you are trying to get home," said Sirius with a touch of sadness in his voice.  
  
Hermione frowned deeply. "I don't know," she admitted. "I guess deep down, I haven't resigned myself to the fact that I'll never see my family again."  
  
Sirius's eyes lit up with hope. "If that's it, Hermione, then you can. James, Remus, and I will take you back to your parent's house. You can see them again if you want. We'll figure out something to tell them."  
  
"No," she said, shaking her head sadly. "Those weren't my parents. They don't belong to me, not yet anyway. I'm just a dream in their heads right now. Besides, it's more than just them. Ron and Harry are like my brothers and the Weasley's have practically adopted Harry and I into their family."  
  
"What about us?" asked Sirius. "Wouldn't you miss us, if you left?"  
  
"I never said I was leaving," she argued.  
  
"That's because you're too chicken to admit that's the question you want answered. You want to know if you can go back."  
  
"Even so," she conceded. "That doesn't mean I will go back if I can."  
  
"What if they don't give you a choice," he challenged. "Do you honestly think they'll let you stay in this time? And what happens when they find out you changed everything you possibly could? Hermione, do you have any idea how many regulations there are about time traveling?"  
  
"Of course I do," she snapped. "I'm sorry if your lives meant more to me than some bloody regulation."  
  
"I know Hermione," agreed Sirius. "I understand why you did it. I'm just not sure they will. And have you considered that the time you remember doesn't even exist anymore."  
  
A cold realization fell over Hermione. As many times as Dumbledore had begged her to consider what she was doing, she never really did. What other choice could there have been? How could she possibly let James, Lily, and Sirius die when she could save them?  
  
Sirius spoke more softly now. "Harry will have both his parent's, he won't be the same person you left. You might not even be his friend anymore."  
  
"Or Ron," she whispered. She grew very still, thinking hard. If she and Harry were never friends, then she and Ron would never be friends and she would have never gotten close to Ginny or the rest of the Weasley's. She thought back to the girl she was before Harry and Ron and shuddered.  
  
"I'm not trying to scare you," he said, putting his arm around her and holding her close. "I just don't think you've considered everything."  
  
They sat together in silence for a few minutes before finally Hermione got to her feet. "I understand what you're saying, Sirius. But I'm not a Gryffindor for nothing. Whatever happens, this is something I have to do."  
  
Sirius slowly got to his feet. "When will you go then?"  
  
"As soon as possible," she answered. "If I don't I'll change my mind."  
  
"We'll get in awful trouble when Dumbledore finds we've gone," sighed Sirius.  
  
"We?" asked Hermione, raising one eyebrow at him.  
  
"You don't think I'd let you go all the way to the Ministry by yourself, do you?"  
  
"Oh, Sirius," she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "Remus may never forgive you once he finds out you've helped me, but I'll never know how to thank you."  
  
Sirius kept one arm around her shoulder as they walked back to the castle, happy to be able to touch her, even if it was just as a friend. "So when shall we leave? Tonight?"  
  
"No, I think Friday after classes will be soon enough. That way we won't miss anything."  
  
"And I was hoping I wouldn't have to finish that essay for Transfiguration tomorrow."  
  
"You're still not done with that," Hermione scolded.  
  
"Hey," said Sirius, cutting off the impending lecture. "I certainly don't need a lecture from someone who is about to sneak out of school for the second time in a month."  
  
Hermione only smiled. Sirius could always make her smile. By the time they got back to Gryffindor Tower they were no longer arm in arm. Hermione looked wistfully up at the boy's side.  
  
"He'll be fine in the morning," said Sirius, reading her thoughts. "Just give him some time."  
  
Hermione nodded. "You're right. It isn't like Remus to stay angry long. I'll talk to him tomorrow at breakfast. Good night, Sirius."  
  
"Night, Hermione."  
  
But Remus wasn't at breakfast the next morning and he didn't show up to their first class together until about two minutes after it began. He got ten points taken from Gryffindor, but he effectively managed to avoid talking to Hermione.  
  
By dinner that day, Hermione hadn't managed to get two minutes alone with Remus. She sat dejectedly with James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily and poked at her food. The others tried to keep her in the conversation, but once they realized she just wasn't interested they talked amongst themselves.  
  
Halfway through dinner Peter excused himself and left. Except for Lily, none of them were sorry to see him go. Though they had promised Hermione they wouldn't treat him any differently, it was often hard for James and especially Sirius to keep their tempers with him. Peter found a lot of excuses to limit his time with them.  
  
Not five minutes after Peter left, Hermione pushed her plate across the table and rose.  
  
"Hermione you barely ate," said Lily.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just not hungry."  
  
"Why don't you just talk to Remus," suggested Lily. She felt very bad that her two friends were fighting.  
  
"I would," said Hermione. "He just doesn't want to talk to me right now. I wish..." she paused. "Never mind," she turned and walked down the long row leading to the entrance to the Great Hall. Two thirds of the way down she saw Remus enter. Their eyes met and Remus looked as if he wanted to make his escape.  
  
"Hi," she said softly when they met.  
  
"Hi," he said, equally uncomfortable. They stood in uncomfortable silence until Remus spoke again. "I thought you'd be gone by now."  
  
"No."  
  
"Did you decide to stay?" he asked, almost hopefully.  
  
"No," she replied quietly. "I was thinking of going Friday."  
  
"Oh," said Remus dully.  
  
"Remus, I..."  
  
"Good luck, Hermione," he interrupted before continuing his trek to where their friends were sitting watching them.  
  
Hermione gritted her teeth angrily, but didn't respond. She quickened her pace out of the Great Hall.  
  
James, Sirius, and Lily stared at Remus as he sat next to them.  
  
"I guess we don't have to ask how that went," said Sirius sarcastically.  
  
"Butt out, Sirius," said Remus.  
  
"Remus," began Lily gently. "If you'd just talk to each other..."  
  
"No offense, Lily," interrupted Remus, "but you have no idea what this is about, so I wouldn't form an opinion if I were you."  
  
Lily looked affronted. "Whatever you're fighting about," she said enunciating every word. "It's childish to give her the silent treatment."  
  
"I'm not giving her the silent treatment," argued Remus. "She's the one..."  
  
"She wants to talk to you," Lily argued back. "She doesn't want to fight."  
  
Remus looked to James, who had been sitting in silence listening to the exchange.  
  
James shook his head. "Sorry mate. Lily's right. Considering all the circumstances," he said carefully. "I really think you ought to talk to her, the sooner the better."  
  
"What do you three know?" said Remus sulkily. He put his arms on the table and rested his head on them. After five minutes of silence he stood up angrily and walked back out of the Great Hall.  
  
"I'd check the library if I were you," shouted Sirius after him. Remus only responded with a rude gesture before disappearing behind the double doors.  
  
"Now," said Lily, turning her attention to James and Sirius. "The two of you are going to tell me what they're fighting about."  
  
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Hermione was indeed making her way to the library, although it was an unconscious decision. She was really just wandering through the castle, her mind on Remus and nothing else. She had hoped if she could talk to him she could make him understand. She hated fighting with him. It made her feel so lonely.  
  
"How could I have let myself fall in love with him," she whispered to herself. She often thought it hadn't been one of her smarter moves, although, if she was honest, falling in love with him had been the most wonderful experience of her life. She sighed. There was no use regretting it or analyzing it. She loved him and she always would, it was something she knew instinctually.  
  
Hermione rounded the corner and walked down the corridor that led to the library. She smiled at herself when she realized where she was going. 'I might as well get some studying in,' she thought. 'There's no sense in moping in my room.'  
  
She was almost to the library when she heard the unmistakable voices of Peter and Snape. She whipped out her wand and moved toward where she thought they were. If Snape was bullying Peter, she'd put a stop to it before he knew what hit him.  
  
She moved closer to where she thought they were and listened carefully.  
  
"I've already told you I don't care, Pettigrew," snapped Snape.  
  
"But I'm telling you, Severus. It means something. I know it," returned Peter.  
  
"Enough," said Severus. "If you don't have anything else to add, I'm going back to the Slytherin Dungeons."  
  
Hermione took a step back, expecting Snape to discover her at any moment.  
  
"Wait, Severus," begged Peter. "Just hear me out." Hermione didn't hear Snape respond, but he must have waited because Peter continued. "From what I heard from listening in on Remus, James, and Sirius, she's going to the Department of Mysteries. That's why they're fighting."  
  
"Well why didn't you say that," snapped Severus. "This isn't a game, Pettigrew. Tell me what you know."  
  
"He doesn't want her to go," said Peter awkwardly.  
  
"Yes," returned Severus impatiently, "but why?"  
  
"I don't know," said Peter quietly.  
  
"You really are useless, aren't you, Pettigrew," said Snape snidely. "Why is she going to the Ministry?"  
  
"I don't know," said Peter again.  
  
"Then I suggest you find out," said Snape icily. "If the Dark Lord has to move his plans forward, we'll need to know right away."  
  
Hermione gasped and immediately put her hand over her mouth. She started to back away, but Peter and Snape were on top of her almost immediately. Snape quickly disarmed her and they both pressed her against the wall. "How long have you been here?" growled Snape.  
  
"How could you, Peter," she spit out, ignoring him.  
  
Snape scanned the corridor. "Everybody should be done with dinner by now. I can't afford to be seen with her. Can I trust you to perform the memory charm?"  
  
Peter nodded once and Snape handed him Hermione's wand, which he quickly pocketed. "Too bad we don't have time to get some Veritus Serum," said Snape. "Make sure she remembers nothing."  
  
They both backed away, but continued to point their wands at her. Hermione knew her best chance of getting out of this would be to make her move after Snape left so she stayed motionless.  
  
Snape swept away and Hermione returned her attention to Peter. He was holding his wand high and Hermione knew there was a very real chance she was going to end up like Professor Lockhart, spending the rest of her days at St. Mungo's. Peter was hopeless with charms.  
  
"Peter please," she began.  
  
"Shut up, Hermione," snapped Peter and she could see he was enjoying the position they were in. "Not so clever now, are you?"  
  
"Peter you don't know what you're doing," begged Hermione.  
  
Peter smiled. "I know exactly what I'm doing." He raised his wand and Hermione closed her eyes and braced herself for the spell that never came. She heard someone coming fast from their left. Both she and Peter turned just a second before a body rammed into Peter, sending them both to the floor.  
  
Remus didn't bother using his wand to jinx Peter. He hit him first in the stomach, causing Peter to double over and then his fist connected with Peter's jaw.  
  
Peter and her wand went flying. Hermione quickly picked hers up and pointed it at Peter, but she couldn't get a clear shot. She could only watch as her boyfriend pummeled Peter into pulp. At one point Peter managed to throw a punch that connected with Remus' side, but it only served the purpose of angering him further.  
  
"Remus, stop," shouted Hermione. "It's enough." She could hear people beginning to come down the hall and she was afraid their professors would be in the throng.  
  
Remus ignored her. He pulled Peter to his feet and threw him against the wall. "You did try to kill her didn't you?" snarled Remus.  
  
"Fight," someone yelled from down the hall. Immediately people rushed toward them.  
  
Hermione put her hand on Remus' arm. Peter glanced over Remus' shoulder at the fifteen or so students advancing on them. "Get off of me, werewolf," he shouted.  
  
There was an immediate hush. Hermione gasped loudly and tightened her hold on Remus. He stood and stared at Peter, whose lips had curled into a small smile. Remus took several steps away from Peter, feeling the eyes of everyone on his back.  
  
Peter slumped down the wall. "Beating me to a bloody pulp won't stop me from telling everyone the truth, Remus," said Peter loudly. "The whole school's going to know what you are."  
  
Remus rushed forward, but Hermione threw herself between them. "Don't," she whispered fiercely. "You'll only make things worse." She pushed him back, trying to lead him away. His whole body was limp and he allowed her to maneuver him away. Without releasing her hold on Remus, she turned to Peter and said lowly, so no one else could hear, "I swear I will make you pay for this. Not even Voldemort will be able to protect you from me."  
  
Peter's eyes grew wide and she wasn't sure if it was from her threat or for her use of the Dark Lord's name. She didn't care. She led Remus away and was pained to see how the students parted as he neared. Remus either didn't notice or didn't care about their response.  
  
She got him back to Gryffindor Tower as fast as she could. They went straight to his room, which was thankfully empty. He sat heavily on his bed. She watched him carefully, not sure what to say or where to begin.  
  
"It's over," he said quietly. "The letters will come tomorrow or the next day and I'll be expelled by Monday."  
  
"No," said Hermione forcefully. She sat next to him and took his bruised hand in her own. He winced as she made contact with his scraped knuckles. She held his hand gentler and brought it to her lips and kissed it softly. "You won't be expelled. Dumbledore won't allow it. You've done nothing wrong."  
  
His shoulders slumped. "Nobody's going to want their kid attending school with a werewolf. It's okay," he said and his voice sounded dead. "I always knew this day might come. I can accept it."  
  
"Don't talk like that," begged Hermione. "We'll get through this. It might not be as bad as you think it will. You're very popular and James and Sirius will stand by you." She had started to cry. "I'll hex anyone who bothers you."  
  
This brought a small smile to his face. "So I can look forward to hiding behind my girlfriend and my two best friends for the rest of my life."  
  
"Don't joke," she cried. "Oh, this is all my fault."  
  
"No, it's not," he said reassuringly. He pulled her into his arms. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"  
  
"No, but Remus, he's turned on us. Peter's a Death Eater. I overheard him talking to Snape. They're plotting for Voldemort."  
  
"Plotting what?"  
  
"I don't know. Peter's been sneaking around. He knows I was going to go to the Ministry. He told Snape."  
  
"Do you think he knows you're from the future?" asked Remus.  
  
"No, I don't think he knows that yet. Remus, what are we going to do?"  
  
"I don't know," said Remus softly, holding her even closer. They were interrupted by thunderous footsteps coming toward them. The door burst open, admitting Sirius, James, and Lily. They all looked at each other.  
  
"You've heard then," said Remus quietly.  
  
"Everyone's talking about it in the common room," acknowledged James.  
  
"That was quick," said Remus bitterly.  
  
"Apparently there were four or five Gryffindors who watched you beat the crap out of Peter and then heard him call you a werewolf. They're downstairs putting all the pieces together now," said Sirius.  
  
"We got bombarded with questions as soon as we came into the common room," said Lily.  
  
"We ran right up," finished James.  
  
"Why were you fighting," demanded Lily.  
  
"He was about to attack, Hermione," explained Remus. "He's a Death Eater."  
  
Lily shot a look at Hermione. Hermione was surprised to see distrust in her eyes. "Why would you say that?"  
  
"I overheard him talking to Snape," said Hermione. "They're plotting something for the Dark Lord."  
  
"I don't believe it," said Lily doubtfully.  
  
"Believe it, Lily," said James. "There's more going on here than you know."  
  
"Then explain it to me, James," she shouted. "I'm sick and tired of being in the dark. The four of you have something going on and I don't like being left out."  
  
James looked at Hermione, who shook her head slowly.  
  
Lily narrowed her eyes. "You're getting permission from her," she said coldly. "I didn't think we kept secrets from each other," she said to James.  
  
"It's not his secret to tell," interrupted Sirius.  
  
"I wish I could tell you, Lily," said Hermione. "But I can't." She paused. "Dumbledore won't allow it," lied Hermione.  
  
"So Dumbledore know?"  
  
"Yes," said Hermione quickly, seeing how that news seemed to relieve Lily somewhat.  
  
"I hate to change the subject," interrupted Sirius. "But what are we going to do about Remus?"  
  
Lily and James turned sympathetic looks on Remus. He stood up angrily, nearly knocking Hermione backwards on his bed. "Don't do that," he said sharply. "I don't want your pity. I don't want it and I don't need it."  
  
"We not pitying you, Moony," said James calmly. "We're just worried about you."  
  
"Well don't," snapped Remus. "I'll be damned if I let Peter ruin my life." Hermione smiled widely behind him. Anger was definitely better than self- pity and depression.  
  
"That's right," she agreed. "We won't let him win. Whatever happens, we'll deal with together."  
  
Remus turned to face her. "Together?" he asked.  
  
She nodded. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He opened his arms and she went willingly into them. "I promise," she repeated.  
  
The five friends stayed up talking late into the night. At one point Lily and James went down to the common room and yelled at everyone to go to bed, but they both came back almost immediately. At around two in the morning Lily reluctantly said goodnight. Eventually Sirius and James got into their own beds and fell asleep quickly, leaving Hermione and Remus relatively alone.  
  
"I guess I should get back to my room," said Hermione.  
  
"Stay," said Remus.  
  
She smiled. "I shouldn't."  
  
He took her hand and wove his fingers through her own. "I don't want to be alone tonight," he said quietly.  
  
"All right," she agreed reluctantly. "Let me just go get changed."  
  
Remus moved over to his trunk and pulled an over-large shirt from it. "You can wear this if you want," he said, offering it to her.  
  
She took it with a smile. "Turn around," she ordered. He did obediently. He could hear her shuffling behind him. "Okay, I'm done," she announced.  
  
He turned back to find her in his T-shirt, in his bed, with the cover pulled up over her legs. He took a deep breath before joining her in the bed and drawing the curtains around them. He settled next to her and reached for the bottom of his own shirt. "Do you mind?" She shook her head and he pulled his shirt off and tossed it through the curtains. They laid back on the bed, both their heads resting on his pillow. He wrapped his arms around her and turned her away from him so they were settled comfortably against each other.  
  
"I love you," he whispered into the darkness.  
  
"Not as much as I love you," she replied pulling his arm tighter around her and closing her eyes. 


	18. Chapter 18

Hermione felt herself being shaken violently. After such a peaceful night of sleep it wasn't the nicest way to be woken.  
  
"Wake up, Hermione," demanded James.  
  
Hermione opened her eyes groggily. "What's the matter?" She could see James and Sirius standing over her.  
  
Remus sat up sleepily next to her and said through a yawn, "What's going on?"  
  
"Dumbledore's coming," they said together. Remus and Hermione immediately threw the covers off themselves and leapt out of bed.  
  
"Here, Hermione," said James handing her his invisibility cloak. She threw it over her head and backed into a corner of the room. A few seconds later, Dumbledore entered the room.  
  
"I'm glad to see the three of you are awake," he said grimly. He approached Remus. "How are you doing, Remus?"  
  
"Fine, sir."  
  
Dumbledore took a deep breath. "Well, it appears your secret is out."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"And is it true that it was Mr. Pettigrew who told everyone?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Dumbledore shook his head. "That is most disappointing."  
  
"Professor, what happens now?" asked Remus.  
  
"Happens?"  
  
"Yes, to me. Am I going to be expelled?"  
  
"Of course not," said Dumbledore quickly. "You've done nothing wrong my boy."  
  
Remus smiled widely, his relief was evident.  
  
"But I'm afraid to say that these last days at school will be rather difficult for you."  
  
Remus nodded. "I always knew I might have to deal with this."  
  
"Fortunately," said Dumbledore, placing one hand on Remus' shoulder. "There are only a couple of months to go before you have to take your N.E.W.T's. I know you will deal with this in a responsible manner. But I have to urge you not to respond to anyone if provoked. Your actions will be more closely watched than any other students."  
  
"I understand, sir. I won't let you down," said Remus firmly.  
  
Dumbledore patted his shoulder and smiled. "I know you won't Remus. You've never given me any reason to be anything but proud of you," he said warmly and then he left.  
  
As soon as she was sure he was gone, Hermione whipped off the cloak. "Thanks," she said gratefully to James as she handed him back his cloak.  
  
"Anytime," replied James.  
  
Hermione turned and picked up the clothes she had tossed by Remus' bed the night before and went to the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" asked Remus.  
  
"Back to my room to get dressed," she answered. "I'll be back in twenty minutes, so you three better hurry up."  
  
"Why?" asked James.  
  
"So we can get to breakfast," stated Hermione, as if the answer was obvious.  
  
"No," said Remus. "I'm not going."  
  
"Yes you are," said Hermione turning back to him. "You're not going to spend the rest of term hiding up here. We're all going to go to breakfast and then to class like nothing happened, because you don't have anything to be ashamed of."  
  
"Hermione," protested Remus. "Everyone will be talking."  
  
"They'll talk more if we go into hiding." She went back to him. "Look, I know you're nervous, but we have to face this. We won't give anyone the mistaken impression that they can hurt us," she said stubbornly. His heart melted a little bit at her use of the plural pronoun. She gave him a quick hug and kiss. "Now, hurry up and get ready. I'll be right back." She hurried from the room, leaving the three boys speechless.  
  
Sirius was the first to voice what they were all thinking. "Today's going to be fun," he said sarcastically. They all laughed. His comment seemed to drain the tension from the room somewhat.  
  
"I suggest we do what she says," said James and they all proceeded to get dressed. "I have a feeling she's serious about being back in twenty minutes, whether we're dressed or not."  
  
True to her promise, Hermione was back in twenty minutes flat, but with an addition. Lily was still pulling her hair back into a ponytail as Hermione dragged her into the boy's room. "Ready?"  
  
James was still dragging a brush through his hair.  
  
"It'll never lie flat, James," teased Lily.  
  
He smirked at her and threw the brush down on his bed. Then he brought his hand to his hair and tousled it.  
  
"Stop," giggled Lily, coming forward and pulling his hand away from his hair. "You know how much I hate when you do that."  
  
"That's why I do it," he said, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss. "Morning," he whispered.  
  
"Morning," she whispered back.  
  
Hermione moved over to Remus. "Ready?" she asked. He nodded, but his face told her that the last thing he wanted to do was leave the room. She smiled sympathetically and gave him a quick kiss. "It will be okay," she whispered to him. "I promise."  
  
"No kiss for me," grumbled Sirius from across the room. James blew a noisy kiss at him and they all laughed.  
  
They made their way down to the Gryffindor common room. There were only a handful of first and second year students milling around and they quickly left when they saw the seventh years approach. Hermione set her jaw and glared at them until they were gone. She could feel Remus tense beside her. "Remus," she said suddenly. "I think I left my sweater in your room last night. Could you go get it for me?"  
  
"Yeah sure," he mumbled and quickly went back upstairs.  
  
Hermione watched until he disappeared up the last step. "Listen up, you lot," she said quickly turning to James, Sirius, and Lily. "I have a plan that I think will guarantee nobody messes with Remus after today."  
  
"What?" they all asked eagerly.  
  
Hermione took a deep breath. "The four of us are going to curse, hex, and jinx anyone who looks at him cross eyed today."  
  
"You can't be serious," said James with a smile growing wide on his face.  
  
"I'm dead serious," returned Hermione. "After we're finished with everyone today, nobody will dare mess with him again."  
  
"Hermione, do you know how much trouble we'll get in," said Sirius.  
  
"Of course, but I'm willing to risk it."  
  
"So am I," spoke up Lily. They all looked at Lily in shock. "Don't look so surprised," she said. "What's a week of detention if we can guarantee Remus won't be persecuted." Hermione gave Lily a quick hug. She had never been more thankful to her. Lily hugged her back. "You're not the only one who loves him, Hermione."  
  
"I know," said Hermione smiling. "I'm glad I'm not."  
  
"Wait a second," interrupted James. "You heard what Dumbledore said this morning. He said we can't respond if provoked. It will only make things worse."  
  
"No, he said Remus couldn't respond. Remus won't raise a wand. That's why we have to," returned Hermione.  
  
"You don't know Remus," said Sirius. "If we whip out our wands so will he."  
  
"Then I'll disarm him. He's not going to throw one spell today," said Hermione simply. "Look, its only one day, two at the most." She waited expectantly and her friends didn't disappoint.  
  
"We're in, Hermione," said Sirius smiling as if he was really going to enjoy himself.  
  
"Us to," said James answering for Lily.  
  
"I knew I could count on you," she glanced to her left to see Remus coming back. "Not a word to Remus," she said under her breath.  
  
"Hermione, I couldn't find your sweater anywhere. Are you sure you left it up there?" he asked.  
  
"Huh, that's weird. I guess it doesn't matter. Let's just go to breakfast. I'm starved."  
  
They walked into the Great Hall flanking Remus as if he were some head of state. Each one of their hands held their wands tightly beneath their robes. The Great Hall had never been quieter. It was almost unnerving, but they did their best to ignore the silence. Once they had taken their seats, the normal noise level returned and though they listened carefully, they couldn't make out any individual conversation.  
  
As it turned out, nobody had any appetite. They were all too keyed up. After about twenty minutes of strained conversation and pushing food around their plates, they decided to leave and get to class early.  
  
Just as they had reached the double doors someone behind them let out a long wolf call. Before any of the others could react, Lily threw a jinx toward the Slytherin table. It connected with an oafish looking boy with grotesque results. His muted brown hair that had been matted on his head was now sprouting all over his face and hands.  
  
"Miss Evans," came an angry shout from the teachers table.  
  
Lily was seething. "If he wants to act like an animal, then he can look like one too. She turned toward her friends and smiled. "That's one down. Go on guys. I'll catch up with you at class." James gave her hand a squeeze before Lily headed up to the front of the Great Hall. Hermione couldn't keep back her grin as she herded the boys out into the hallway.  
  
"That's my girl," said James proudly and Sirius and Hermione cracked up.  
  
Remus looked very solemn. "She'll get detention for performing magic in the Great Hall."  
  
"Maybe," admitted Hermione. She patted his shoulder and then slipped her arm through his. "We'll find out when she meets us in class." She ushered him forward, leaving James and Sirius to follow.  
  
They were the only ones in the Transfiguration classroom and took their usual seats at the back of the classroom. This was something Hermione always hated, but today she was grateful. It would be a lot easier to keep an eye on the other students from the back rather than the front of the classroom.  
  
The other seventh years filtered slowly into class. Some passed them quickly without saying a word, but a few slowed just to pass them an encouraging smile. Lily arrived at the same time Professor McGonagall arrived. She took her usual seat by James and they all leaned in to see what her punishment was.  
  
"One night of detention," she said, almost proudly. "And well worth it."  
  
"What were you thinking," hissed Remus. "That was stupid."  
  
Lily looked at Remus sternly. "No, what he did was stupid. And he'll never do it again."  
  
"Miss Evans, Mr. Lupin, class has started," said Professor McGonagall sharply from the front of the room. They all turned their attention to the front of the class, all of them willing to risk a lot today, but not Professor McGonagall's wrath. None of them were that brave.  
  
They managed to get through all of their classes without any further incidents. Hermione suspected that Lily's fierce response at breakfast had stilled the tongues of all but the boldest students. By the end dinner they were all tired.  
  
Remus stood before anyone else and held his hand out to Hermione. "Ready?"  
  
"What?" asked Hermione, confused.  
  
"We have a standing date, don't we," he said smiling.  
  
A look of worry crossed Hermione's face. "Maybe we shouldn't tonight. Maybe we should all stay together."  
  
"It's Thursday, James and Sirius have Quidditch practice," stated Remus, still holding out his hand.  
  
"We don't have to go," offered James. "I think Hermione's right. We should stick together tonight. Maybe go to the library and study."  
  
Remus looked at his friends incredulously. "You'd rather go to the library than play Quidditch?" He sat again and looked sternly at them all. "I know what you're all trying to do and I appreciate it, really I do, but the four of you can't be my bodyguard's for the rest of your lives. I wouldn't even want that. Besides," he said turning to Hermione. "You said we should act like everything's normal. Remember, no hiding."  
  
"You're right," agreed Hermione, but she still felt nervous.  
  
"Of course I'm right. Come on," he said standing again. Hermione joined him reluctantly and with a backwards glance she allowed him to lead her out of the room.  
  
They made their nightly trek around the edge of the lake. "Today wasn't so bad," commented Remus. "It could have been worse."  
  
"Yes," agreed Hermione. "It could have been."  
  
"You've been great today," he said softly. She only smiled. "Better than I was to you," he finished with a touch of sadness in his voice.  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Don't you remember what we were doing forty-eight hours ago in almost this very spot?"  
  
Hermione shrugged. "We were having a discussion."  
  
He laughed. "Isn't that a polite way to say I was being a pig headed jerk."  
  
"Remus," she said laughing. "You're not a jerk. I wasn't being very understanding about what you were going through. I was only thinking of myself."  
  
"That's not true," interrupted Remus. "The thing is, you almost never think about yourself. And the one time you needed something from me, I was too selfish to give it to you."  
  
"It doesn't matter now," said Hermione. "It turns out that I don't really need what I thought I did."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
Hermione paused. "I guess what I'm saying is that I've decided not to go to the Department of Mysteries."  
  
"I don't understand. Why the sudden change of heart?"  
  
She shrugged. "It's just not important to me anymore." His brow creased with concern. She stopped walking and pulled him around to face her. "You're important to me, Remus. I don't want to leave you." She took a deep breath. "I love you."  
  
He smiled softly. "I know, I love you too."  
  
"No, I mean I really love you. Even more today than when I first told you," said Hermione. "I've tried picturing what it would be like to go home and I know if I ever had to leave, I'd be miserable. I don't want to leave you. But I'm so afraid."  
  
He stepped forward and put his arms around her, pulling her tight against him. "What are you afraid of?"  
  
"Losing you," she whispered so low that he barely heard her.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Hermione," he reassured her.  
  
"Remus, awful things happen to wizards who try to change time. I've set things in motion and now I'm losing control." She could feel the vibrations of his laughter against her chest and she pulled away. "What?"  
  
"You never had control," he said.  
  
"It's not funny," she said. Her voice trembled when she continued. "Something's coming. I don't know when or what, but I can feel it. I think before it's all over, I'm going to pay for what I've done."  
  
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A/N: Hey all. Wow 200 plus reviews. You guys are the best. Now for another survey question. When the Marauders catch up with Peter (If they ever do) what should they do to him? I'm leaning toward feeding him to the Giant Squid, but I'm sure you all can come up with something much cleverer. Also, wasn't Timothy Spall a great Peter Pettigrew. And two huge thumbs up for Gary Oldman and David Thewlis, the new loves of my life. The scene in the Shrieking Shack was very cool. If any of you haven't seen POA in the theatres, drop what you're doing right now and go. Love to all in Potter land and remember(greedy, shameless plug coming up), review, review, review! 


	19. Chapter 19

Remus and Hermione decided to turn in early and walked back to Gryffindor Tower in relative silence. The day had been stressful for both of them and they were each glad it was almost over.  
  
Remus was still slightly shaken up over Hermione's comment to him by the lake. If she hadn't trembled in his arms the way she had, he would have made light of it, but he could tell she was really worried.  
  
"Hermione," he said tentatively. "I wish you wouldn't worry. Nothing's going to happen to you."  
  
"It's not me I'm worried about," she said. "I can take care of myself. It's the rest of you."  
  
He smiled and put his arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry, we can take care of ourselves." She smiled back, but she didn't feel any better. "I just want this day to be over," he said with a sigh.  
  
Hermione nodded sympathetically. "I know." He gave the password to the Fat Lady and they entered Gryffindor Tower. The eyes of the Gryffindors sitting in the common room were instantly on them. Many turned away, but a few stared unashamedly. "Why don't we go hang out in your room for a little while," offered Hermione, shooting menacingly looks at anyone who dared to meet her eyes.  
  
Remus didn't answer, but without taking his arm from around her shoulder, led her upstairs.  
  
Lily was standing outside of the boy's room, her face pale. "You guys are back early," she stammered.  
  
"Yeah," answered Hermione. "We're a bit tired." She noticed that Lily was trembling slightly. "Lily, what's the matter?"  
  
"Nothing," she said quickly. "Hey, do you guys feel like going to the kitchen and nicking some desert. I think I'm having a bit of a sweet attack."  
  
Hermione and Remus exchanged a glance. "Lily, are you sure you're ok?" asked Remus, his voice full of concern.  
  
She nodded emphatically. "Never better. What do you say? Desert?" From inside the room they heard a muffled series of curse words. Remus made to go inside, but Lily put her hands on his chest. "Remus don't," she begged. He gently, but firmly pushed her aside and barged into the room with Hermione hot on his heels.  
  
When she entered the room she had to clap her hand over her mouth to prevent herself from crying out. On the far wall, written in red were the words "Die Werewolf." James and Sirius both had their wands out and appeared to have been trying to rid the wall of the ugly graffiti. They stared at Remus.  
  
"It was a Gryffindor," he said softly. Nobody responded, but they each knew he was right. Nobody else could have had access to the room.  
  
Hermione moved forward and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Come on," she whispered. "Let's get out of here." Remus didn't move. "Come on," she urged, taking his hand and pulling him around. She shot a look at James and Sirius. "Get it off the wall," she mouthed angrily.  
  
She took Remus to the only place she knew where they wouldn't be disturbed. When they entered the room of requirements, Hermione couldn't help but blush. She hadn't wanted anything but a place where she could take Remus's mind off what they had just seen, but it seemed she had gotten more than she had bargained for.  
  
It looked like a typical bedroom. The furniture was simple. There was a medium sized bed on one side of the room and a large desk with a chair on the other side. Next to the desk was an ornate armoire. The room was softly lit, though Hermione couldn't see a light source anywhere.  
  
Remus sighed then laughed lightly.  
  
"What?" questioned Hermione.  
  
He smiled at her. "This is my room, back home."  
  
"Oh," said Hermione in understanding. Of course, she thought. He'd need to be someplace that comforted him now. Then she blushed again recalling her initial thought.  
  
Remus moved around the room touching things and opening drawers. "This is incredible. Everything is just like it is at home." He turned back to Hermione. "I think this is slowly becoming my favorite room in the castle."  
  
She moved forward and put her arms around his shoulder. "I know it's mine." He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. She closed her eyes and tried to push everything but the feel of his lips from her mind. They held each other and kissed for a long time, coming up for air only when it was absolutely necessary. After a little while he pulled away and Hermione groaned in protest.  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
"We have to stop," returned Remus.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because if I don't stop now, I won't be able to later."  
  
Hermione considered this and then moved back into his embrace. "Who says I'd want you to stop later," she said softly, willing herself not to blush.  
  
He smiled and kissed her gently. "I want the first time we're together to be special. I don't want anything on our minds when we make love except each other."  
  
Hermione hugged him tightly, wondering how it was possible that he made her love him more every day. "Should I go then?" she asked quietly.  
  
"No," he returned. "Don't go. Let's sleep here tonight, like last night."  
  
"Ok," she agreed. She probably would have said yes to anything he asked her. They moved to the bed and she lay in the crook of his arm resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
"I love being this close to you," he said. "I wish we could stay here, like this, forever."  
  
She nodded in agreement. "Go to sleep," she whispered back. "I'll be right here when you wake up."  
  
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The weekend and following week was probably the worst of the Marauders lives, although Sirius and James joked about getting excellent training as Aurors. The only good thing was that Peter had gone home for the week, claiming his mother was ill.  
  
Friday morning the mail started and it hadn't stopped yet. Most of it was ugly hate mail with the occasional howler thrown in. The worse bit however was a small package containing a tiny silver dagger. The package had sent both Lily and Hermione into near hysterics and James and Sirius into a rage. After that Dumbledore had demanded that any mail coming to Remus be seen by him first.  
  
True to their word, Hermione, Lily, James, and Sirius dealt swiftly with anyone who dared bother Remus. More than once, they had been forced to disarm Remus, but they had managed to prevent him from performing magic against anyone. By the end of the week they had racked up about three or four detentions each.  
  
Worse for Remus than all the ugly names he was called and dirty looks he was given was the way his friends were beginning to be ostracized. By midweek most of the anti-werewolf crowd, which consisted mostly of Slytherins, didn't bother to distinguish between Remus and the rest of them. They, of course, couldn't give a damn. It only brought them closer together.  
  
By the following Friday, they were all definitely ready for the weekend. They were in their final class of the day, potions with Professor Phillips.  
  
At the end of class, Professor Phillips handed back their Potions Essays from the week before. Professor Phillips handed papers to James, Remus, and Lily before returning to the front of the class. Sirius and Hermione exchanged a confused glance.  
  
"Class, I am going to let you go a few minutes early today. Enjoy your weekend and don't forget to begin those practice N.E.W.T.'s I handed out at the beginning of class." Everyone began gathering their books. "Mr. Black, Miss Granger, may I have a word," said Professor Phillips from the front of the classroom.  
  
Sirius and Hermione gathered their books and made their way to the front. "We'll wait outside for you," called Remus.  
  
Professor Phillips was sitting behind his desk with a very serious expression on his face. He waited until everyone left before speaking. "Do either of you have anything you'd like to tell me?"  
  
Hermione glanced up at Sirius and then back to the professor. "No sir," she said, the confusion evident in her voice.  
  
"No sir," echoed Sirius, sounding equally confused.  
  
With a great sigh, Professor Phillips opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled two pieces of parchment out. He laid them down in front of Hermione and Sirius.  
  
"Can you explain this then," he asked, waving one hand at the parchment.  
  
Sirius and Hermione leaned over and read the tops of the parchment. "These are our essays, professor," said Sirius.  
  
"Keep reading," he returned sternly.  
  
Hermione read the paper rapidly. It was her name at the top of the paper; the title and first paragraph was her own, but she didn't recognize the second paragraph. She picked up the paper closest to Sirius and read it quickly. Beginning with the second paragraph it was identical to the paper in front of her.  
  
"I don't understand," she whispered to herself.  
  
"Perhaps I can explain then," said Professor Phillips through tight lips. "One or both of you have been cheating. If you confess now I won't recommend to the Headmaster that you be expelled."  
  
Sirius gazed intently at Hermione. He had written the paper in front of them, but he couldn't believe she would cheat. Hermione looked up at him, her face stricken. She shook her head.  
  
"Mr. Black, do you have anything to say?" asked Professor Phillips. Sirius didn't know how to respond. He wouldn't rat on Hermione if his life depended on it, but he knew they were in serious trouble.  
  
"Sir," began Hermione tentatively. "I didn't write that paper."  
  
"I see," said the professor sadly. "Miss Granger, I don't know how cheaters were dealt with in your last school, but here at Hogwarts we consider it a serious offense. If you are confessing to copying Mr. Black's essay then I will have no choice but to give you a failing grade for the term."  
  
"Please sir," interrupted Hermione. "You don't understand. This is not the paper I turned in. I would never cheat, ever!"  
  
Professor Phillips sighed deeply. "Is that your name at the top of the parchment?"  
  
"Yes sir," she answered quietly.  
  
"And the title and first paragraph, those are yours as well?"  
  
"Yes sir," she said even quieter.  
  
"But the rest is not."  
  
"No sir," she said adamantly.  
  
"Well I'm at a loss," he said almost sarcastically. "How did the rest of these words get on your essay?"  
  
"I don't know sir."  
  
Professor Phillips turned angry eyes on Sirius. "Mr. Black, is this your paper?" Sirius glanced at Hermione. "Don't look at her," he said sharply. "Look at me. Is this your paper?"  
  
"Yes sir," Sirius mumbled.  
  
"And did you give your paper to Miss Granger to copy?" Again Sirius turned to look at Hermione and again Professor Phillips chastised him. "Look at me."  
  
"No sir, I didn't, but I..."  
  
"That's enough Mr. Black. You may go." Sirius didn't move. "I said you're dismissed," said Professor Phillips firmly. Sirius hiked his bag higher on his shoulder and left the room in silence. Once he had closed the door, Professor Phillips returned his attention to Hermione.  
  
"I am giving you one more chance to confess, Miss Granger and before you answer me let me remind you that your future at Hogwarts is at stake here."  
  
Hermione tried to hold back the tears threatening to leak from her eyes. "I swear Professor. I've never cheated in my life." She picked up the essay. "This is not the essay I handed in."  
  
He sighed. "Those essays have not left my office since I collected them last week." His face was full of regret as he continued. "I'm sorry to do this. You seemed to me a very bright witch with a promising future, but cheating cannot and will not be tolerated. I have no choice but to fail you. You will not be allowed to take your Potions N.E.W.T.s at the end of term." Professor Phillips gathered the papers in front of him, stood and walked around his desk. "I'm afraid you'll have to come with me now to see the Headmaster."  
  
He led the way out of the classroom and Hermione followed with her head bent low. When they emerged into the hallway, Hermione couldn't look any of her friends in the eye.  
  
"Professor," began Remus coming forward.  
  
"Not now, Mr. Lupin," dismissed Professor Phillips.  
  
"Sir, you can't really believe she's cheated," continued Remus.  
  
"It's just ridiculous, sir," added Lily. "Hermione would never cheat."  
  
Professor Phillips stopped and turned toward them. "I appreciate what you're trying to do," he said in a gentler voice. "You're all good friends, but I really have to insist you go back to Gryffindor Tower now."  
  
"Can't you see what they're doing," said James angrily.  
  
"Yes," agreed Sirius. "Hermione never copied my paper. She's been set up."  
  
"That's enough," said Professor Phillips, his kind voice gone. "Go back to Gryffindor Tower before I give each of you detention."  
  
"Go," begged Hermione. "Don't make it any worse."  
  
Professor Phillips continued on his way to the Headmaster's office and Hermione followed quickly, leaving her friends to stare after them.  
  
Professor Phillips made Hermione wait outside the Headmaster's office while he went in and talked to him. She sat with her head down trying desperately to figure out how it had happened. Someone had obviously gotten their hands on her paper and altered it somehow, but how could she prove it. Her only hope was the Professor Dumbledore would believe her.  
  
After about twenty minutes the door to his office opened and she was called in. Hermione walked silently into the room, finding it hard to meet anyone's eye.  
  
"Please sit down, Hermione," said Professor Dumbledore in a gentle voice. She sat, knowing she looked as miserable as she felt. "I'm very disturbed by the allegations made by Professor Phillips," he began. "Would you be kind enough to give me your side of the story?"  
  
"I didn't cheat," she said firmly. "And frankly sir," she continued, anger suddenly dominating all her other feelings. "I think you owe it to me to believe it. I believe I've proven," she paused, afraid her trembling voice would give way to more tears. "I believe I've proven that I am neither dishonest or untrustworthy."  
  
Hermione was infuriated to see the Headmaster's mouth slightly curve upward in what she thought was the beginning of a smile. She opened her mouth to continue her angry outburst when the door suddenly burst open behind her admitting Lily, Remus, Sirius, and James.  
  
"We're very sorry to come into your office uninvited, Professor Dumbledore, but we have proof Hermione didn't cheat," said Lily breathing loudly. It was obvious that the four of them had run all the way to the Headmaster's office.  
  
Hermione stared at her friends with questions in her eyes, but none of them met her gaze. Remus stepped forward and placed a pile a rumpled parchment on the Headmaster's desk. Dumbledore picked the pieces up and examined them, then turned them over to Professor Phillips. "Those are drafts of her potions essay," explained Remus. "Hermione usually does at least three, but as you can see there are four there."  
  
"If you look carefully," said Sirius stepping forward. "You'll see that even her first draft is better than my final one. Hermione would have had no reason to cheat."  
  
"She's obviously being set up," injected James. "They probably thought they could get both her and Sirius in trouble."  
  
Dumbledore smiled and turned to Professor Phillips. "I think we've heard enough, haven't we Professor?"  
  
Professor Phillips was still shuffling through the drafts. "These are quite good," he admitted. "But that still doesn't explain how Hermione's name got on that other paper." He placed the papers back down on the Headmaster's desk. "However, Hermione is right. She has never given us any reason to distrust her before today. In fact, I have to admit she is one of the most promising witches I've ever had the pleasure of teaching." He stood and faced Hermione. "I will take the parchment to Professor McGonagall to see if it has been charmed somehow. If it has, you will have my public apology. In truth, I should have taken it to her before I accused you in the first place."  
  
"Thank you Professor," whispered Hermione. He nodded kindly to her and left the room. Hermione jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around Remus, then quickly released him and hugged, Lily, James, and Sirius in turn. From his desk, Dumbledore cleared his throat. They all turned and faced the smiling Headmaster.  
  
"I'm glad that's been cleared up so quickly. And Miss Granger, you were correct when you said I owed it to you to believe you and I hope you believe me when I say I did."  
  
She nodded, feeling properly ashamed for thinking any less of him. "I'm sorry Professor."  
  
"My dear," he said lightly. "You have nothing to apologize for. Sit down, all of you." He waved his wand and summoned some additional seats and they all sat quickly.  
  
"I've been watching the five of you this week and I wanted to let each of you know how exceptionally proud I am of all of you. You've had to deal with something few wizards ever have to deal with and you've met your challenges as honorably as I knew you would."  
  
Hermione smiled proudly, but was somewhat puzzled. She had probably jinxed more people this week than she had ever done in all her years at Hogwarts. Though she knew in her heart she'd done nothing wrong, she hadn't expected praise for it from any of her professors, least of all the Headmaster. But then again, Dumbledore had always walked to the beat of a different drummer.  
  
"That being said, I think it's time we discussed all the detentions you've racked up this week." The smiles on all their faces instantly vanished and Dumbledore chuckled. "I have decided that you will be spending your hours of detention back home."  
  
"Home," repeated Lily. "You're sending us home?"  
  
"I think the five of you need a break from Hogwarts. Just before Professor Phillips came to see me, I was making arrangements for your families to meet you at King's Cross Station this evening. You will take the Hogwarts Express back to London and will return on it Sunday afternoon. You will be excused from any weekend homework you've been assigned and I expect you all to relax and enjoy the company of your families. "Now, off with you. You will need to pack quickly. I will meet you at the front entrance in an hour to escort you to Hogsmeade."  
  
They all rose and left his office excitedly, except Hermione. She remained sitting and when Remus noticed she hadn't followed him, he waited at the door, letting James, Sirius, and Lily go on ahead.  
  
"Apparently," began Dumbledore before Hermione could speak. "Your Mr. Lupin has written a great deal about you to his parents and they are very eager to meet you. If you're agreeable, you'll be spending this weekend at the Lupin's."  
  
Hermione smiled widely. She got up and went around Dumbledore's desk and gave him a quick hug and peck on the cheek. "Thank you, sir," she whispered. She turned quickly and went to Remus. They joined hands before hurrying after their friends to get packed for their weekend.  
  
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A/N: I got quite a few responses to my question about what should be done with Peter, some of them were very amusing. For now, I'm leaving him alone. But he won't be safe from me forever. Teaser alert!!! The next few chapters will be dealing almost strictly with Remus and Hermione and yes she will be going to the Department of Mysteries. I hope you all liked the way I got rid of everyone else. I had the hardest time trying to figure out how to get everyone else out of the story for a little while. I hope you liked the chapter! 


	20. Chapter 20

The trip back to King's Cross Station was a lot of fun. They talked and laughed with a freedom they hadn't felt in over a week. It was nice to be able to relax and not feel like an attack was coming any second.  
  
Being able to finally relax acted like a sleeping pill on them. Their lively conversation turned to comfortable silence and one by one they all drifted off, except for Hermione. The thought of meeting Remus's parents was starting to unnerve her.  
  
Remus was stretched out across the seat and had his head in her lap. She was absentmindedly stroking his hair and staring out the window. Across from her and to the right sat James and Lily, cuddled together in the corner. Sirius was sitting directly across from her watching her, though she didn't notice at first.  
  
Eventually she got tired of staring out the window at passing green hills. She glanced across from her to see Sirius staring at her. She smiled. "I thought you were sleeping," she whispered.  
  
He shook his head. "I can never sleep on the train. It makes me nauseous."  
  
"Nauseous? You can zoom around on that awful broom of yours, flipping and diving like crazy, but you can't sleep on a train?"  
  
He shrugged. "Why aren't you asleep? Aren't you tired?"  
  
"I'm nervous, Sirius," she confessed.  
  
"Why are you nervous?"  
  
"I'm going to meet Remus's parents tonight," she said as if it were obvious.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So," she said, exasperated. "If you were meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time, wouldn't you be nervous?"  
  
"No, I'd be more nervous that I had a boyfriend," he teased.  
  
She stuck out her tongue at him. "You know what I mean."  
  
"What's there to be nervous about, really? They're just people."  
  
"Yes, but what if they don't like me?"  
  
"They probably won't," he said seriously.  
  
"If he wasn't sleeping," Hermione began, nodding toward Remus. "I'd get up and smack you."  
  
Sirius laughed softly. "They're going to love you, Hermione. And even if they don't, who cares?"  
  
"I care," said Hermione frowning. "I want them to like me. Don't you want people to like you?"  
  
"When your own mother can't stand the sight of you," began Sirius bitterly, "what other people say and think becomes far less important." Hermione looked away, embarrassed. "Hey," continued Sirius softly. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. Remus's parents will love you. You make it easy to love you." He blushed and turned away.  
  
"Sirius," began Hermione. "I really think your mother was... is... certifiable. What's she says and thinks, well I don't know that she can help it. You shouldn't take it as a sign that there's something wrong with you, because there's not. You're wonderful."  
  
"So you've met my mother," said Sirius, somewhat surprised.  
  
"Umm, well no actually, not really. I just sort of know what she's put you through."  
  
"My mother," spat Sirius, "is nothing but a bitter witch obsessed with the purity of our family. Do you know she actually demanded that I be placed in Slytherin when I arrived at Hogwarts? She said it was the only way to guarantee I didn't share a room with mudbloods and traitors. Boy was she angry when I was placed in Gryffindor."  
  
"I bet," said Hermione.  
  
"Yeah and my older brother Regulus couldn't wait to write home and tell her all about it. He was such a..." Sirius paused, searching for the word. "Idiot," he finished. "He was an idiot until the day he died."  
  
"Sirius,"  
  
"I'm sorry Hermione," interrupted Sirius. "I don't want to talk about my family. I don't know why I brought them up. I left and I'm never going back."  
  
"Okay," agreed Hermione. She remembered that horrible portrait of Sirius's mother and if the real thing was even a tiny bit like the portrait, she hoped he was never around her again. They were silent for several minutes until Sirius spoke again.  
  
"I was thinking," he began, but didn't continue.  
  
"About?" prodded Hermione.  
  
"You know what, never mind. It doesn't matter," he said changing his mind.  
  
"Tell me."  
  
He took a deep breath. "I was thinking about the Department of Mysteries."  
  
"Oh," said Hermione. She looked down to make sure Remus was still sleeping. "Why were you thinking about that?"  
  
"We never talked about it again after that time by the lake. I understood why it got kind of a low priority, but I was wondering if you still wanted to go."  
  
"Umm, no I... I don't think so, not anymore."  
  
"Why?" he asked curiously.  
  
"I don't know," she replied with a shrug. "It's not important anymore."  
  
"Not important? Why?"  
  
"Because other things are important now," she said with a bit of an edge to her voice.  
  
"Other things, like?"  
  
"Stop playing dumb, Sirius. You know what other things. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I don't want it, whatever it was I thought I needed. I just don't want it anymore. I don't. If you really sit down and think about it, it was just a ridiculous idea. Go to the Department of Mysteries because your two best mates, who by the way won't even be born for another three years, told you to in a dream. No, I won't. No."  
  
"I could come by Sunday morning and take you. We don't have to be back at King's Cross until four."  
  
"Sirius, are you listening to me?" asked Hermione.  
  
"I heard every word you didn't say."  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Can we just drop it?"  
  
"What are you so afraid of now?" he taunted her.  
  
"I'm not afraid of anything," she replied angrily. "This isn't something I want to do and I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do."  
  
"Or he doesn't want you to do," muttered Sirius.  
  
"Be careful, Sirius," said Hermione through gritted teeth. "Don't cross the line. They turned away angrily from each other and didn't speak again until the end of the trip. She was grateful when they finally arrived at the station.  
  
She walked through the barrier between platforms nine and ten with Remus. Sirius, James, and Lily had gone ahead and she could already see them greeting the Potter's. They saw Hermione and Remus and waved them over.  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Potter hugged Hermione and Remus in turn. "I hope you've been doing well," said Mr. Potter to Hermione.  
  
"I have, thank you," returned Hermione.  
  
"We told Dumbledore we'd be happy for you to come with us for the weekend since it wouldn't be easy for you to go back home, but we understand why you would want to meet the Lupin's." Hermione could only blush. "We hope you'll come back and visit us this summer. Mrs. Potter and I really enjoyed getting to know you."  
  
"Thank you," said Hermione feeling very touched. "I will."  
  
Mr. Potter looked up at Remus. "You too, Remus," he said sincerely. "Both of you are always welcome in our home."  
  
"Thank you sir," said Remus smiling.  
  
The five friends each took turns hugging goodbye. Sirius hung back and approached Hermione when everyone else had moved away. She hugged him reluctantly. "I'll see you Sunday morning," he whispered, before releasing her and running to catch up with James.  
  
"Hermione, come on," said Remus. He took her hand and led her toward his family. She pushed thoughts of Sirius to the back of her mind, took a deep breath and squeezed Remus's hand tightly.  
  
"Relax," he whispered out of the side of his mouth.  
  
"Remus," called a couple who was walking swiftly towards them. Hermione dropped his hand and let him meet his parents. They hugged enthusiastically. Hermione smiled remembering what it was like to see her family when she would come home for the summer. She felt slightly jealous of Remus.  
  
Remus led his parents over to where Hermione was waiting. "Dad, mum, this is Hermione Granger. Hermione, these are my parents, Daphne and Robert Lupin." They nodded and shook hands genially.  
  
"Very nice to meet you both," said Hermione politely. She was struck by how beautiful Remus's mother was. She had long brown hair that fell down her back in soft waves. She was tall and had a beautiful figure. His father looked a lot like him. He wasn't quite as tall as his wife and his hair was sandy brown, more like Remus's. But their eyes were the same beautiful blue.  
  
"It's nice to meet you too, Hermione," said Mrs. Lupin warmly. "Remus has talked of nothing but you in his letters home. It's good to put a face to the name."  
  
Hermione smiled, not really sure what to say. She looked at Remus, hoping he would rescue her, which of course he did immediately.  
  
"Mum, I hope you've made supper because I'm starving. We left before dinner," said Remus.  
  
"Of course sweetheart," replied Mrs. Lupin, placing one hand on his cheek. "Let's get home."  
  
The Lupin's house was as different from the Potter's as it could be. The yard was so small it could barely be classified as a yard and the house itself looked like it needed several repairs.  
  
Hermione followed the Lupin's into their modest home and was delighted by the inside. The furniture was old and worn, but looked very comfortable. Everything was so lovely and warm and it smelled wonderful.  
  
"Remus," began his father. "Take Hermione to the spare bedroom and let her get settled, then come back out here and we'll have some supper."  
  
"Yes dad," said Remus quickly. He took Hermione's hand and led her down a narrow hallway. Behind the very last door on the left was a small room. It was decorated almost entirely in soft pinks and yellows.  
  
"This is a beautiful room," commented Hermione, turning around the room.  
  
"It was my sister's," said Remus softly, putting Hermione's overnight bag on the bed.  
  
"Your sister," said Hermione in surprise. "I didn't know you had a sister."  
  
"Daphne, my sister, died when I was a five. She was just a baby."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry."  
  
"My parents never seemed to have the heart to change her room. My dad was finally able to convince mum to get rid of the crib when I went off to Hogwarts." He crossed the room and picked up a small gold picture frame. He held it out for Hermione.  
  
"That's my mother holding Daphne and right behind her peeking over her shoulder is me."  
  
Hermione smiled widely. "Look at you. You look positively in love."  
  
"I don't really remember her, but my parents say I thought she was my own little doll."  
  
"Your mother is very beautiful," commented Hermione.  
  
"I hadn't seen her match before I met you," replied Remus.  
  
Hermione burst out laughing. "Really Remus, you're too much."  
  
"I'm serious," he said pretending to be affronted.  
  
"You're also blind," she teased. "I'd give 10 points off the top of my I.Q. for your mother's hair."  
  
"I have noticed that yours get uncommonly wild after our late night... uh... study sessions, but I wouldn't change it for the world."  
  
She reached for the pillow lying at the top of the bed and smacked him with it. "If it's wild, it's your fault for messing with it." She swung the pillow back around and hit him again for good measure.  
  
Laughing, he grabbed her around the waist and wrestled the pillow from her grasp. "I like it that way."  
  
She laughed and tried to get away from him. "If I'd known that I wouldn't spend twenty minutes every morning trying to get it to behave."  
  
"Well don't stop now. Part of the fun is getting to mess it up at night."  
  
"Remus," called Mr. Lupin from across the house. "We're waiting."  
  
"Coming dad," he called back. Then he reached over and ran both his hands through Hermione's hair, rumpling it.  
  
"Remus," she shrieked. He ran out of the room laughing, while Hermione frantically tried to set her hair right, before hurrying after him.  
  
They were all sitting at the table and Remus was grinning at her. She quickly took the empty seat next to him. "Sorry," she murmured.  
  
"I hope you're hungry," said Mrs. Lupin. "There's plenty."  
  
They spent the next few minutes filling their plates and eating silently.  
  
"Hermione, why don't you tell us a little bit about your family?" asked Mr. Lupin.  
  
Hermione swallowed the bite in her mouth slowly. "My family lives in France."  
  
"Oh really," said Mrs. Lupin. "Where in France?"  
  
"Umm... Strasbourg, near the German border," she said praying all the while that they weren't familiar with the area."  
  
"How long has your family been there?"  
  
"Umm, about six or seven years."  
  
"They must miss you an awful lot," said Mrs. Lupin. "I know we miss Remus when he's at school."  
  
"Yeah," agreed Hermione. "I miss them too," she said softly. Remus reached under the table and squeezed her knee gently.  
  
"I imagine you're looking forward to getting home at the end of term," Mrs. Lupin continued.  
  
"Actually," began Hermione, deciding it was time to inject some truthfulness into the conversation. "I'm not going home. I've decided to stay in England after we graduate."  
  
"Oh really, and what are your plans?"  
  
"Simple I guess," she replied. "Find a place to stay, get a job, hopefully not in that order."  
  
"Hermione's probably the smartest witch at Hogwarts," injected Remus. "She won't have any trouble finding a job." His parents smiled and everyone returned to eating.  
  
After another few awkward minutes, Hermione spoke up. "This is very good, Mrs. Lupin."  
  
"Thank you, Hermione. It's Remus's favorite," she replied warmly.  
  
"Oh really, I'll have to keep that in mind," said Hermione with a smile before returning to her meal. She didn't notice the look Mrs. Lupin shot at Mr. Lupin.  
  
The meal continued in this way. They ate and every once in a while someone would ask a question or make a comment. Hermione was glad when the meal was finally over.  
  
Mrs. Lupin insisted that Hermione and Remus go sit in the living room and relax while she and Mr. Lupin cleaned up. Hermione sat stiffly on the edge of the couch.  
  
"Would you relax," teased Remus, poking her in the side.  
  
"Stop it," she hissed. "I'm trying to."  
  
"It's just my parents. They're going to love you as much as I do."  
  
"Remus, I hate lying. I can't keep it all straight in my head," she said desperately. "I'm just such a bad liar. They're bound to figure it out."  
  
"You're doing fine. I won't let them interrogate you. I promise. They're just curious about you." He leaned over and kissed her gently. "Trust me," he whispered against her lips, before kissing her again.  
  
"Ahem."  
  
Remus pulled away from Hermione slowly and looked up at his dad. "Great timing, dad."  
  
"I try," teased his father. "Your mother wants to know if you two want milk in your tea."  
  
"No, none for me," replied Remus. "Hermione?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, thank you," she said softly. Mr. Lupin smiled and nodded before returning to the kitchen. When he was gone, Hermione stood. "Remus, where's the bathroom?"  
  
"Down the hall, first door on your right," he replied.  
  
"Thanks," she said, before hurrying away. She closed the door to the bathroom behind her and leaned against the door breathing deeply for a few minutes. She had never felt more out of her element in her life. More than anything she wanted his parents to like her and she had never felt less worthy. She went to the sink and turned on the tap, splashing cold water on her face. She narrowed her eyes at her reflection. "You're pathetic, you know that," she told herself. She laughed at herself for being so silly, and then dried her hands and face before exiting the bathroom.  
  
She could hear Remus and his parents talking as she approached the living room. She stopped midway and listened.  
  
"She seems like a lovely girl, Remus," said Mrs. Lupin.  
  
"She is," replied Remus. "Listen, could you ease up just a bit. She's really nervous about meeting you guys."  
  
"She did seem a little jumpy," observed Mr. Lupin.  
  
"What's there to be nervous about," dismissed Mrs. Lupin.  
  
"Mum," said Remus. "She wants you guys to like her."  
  
"And I'm sure we will once we get to know her," she said. "But you know you have to let us question her. We know so little about her and the two of you seem so close after such a short period of time. Remus, how well do you really know her?"  
  
"Daphne," warned her husband. "We said we weren't going to get into this tonight."  
  
"I know, I know," she conceded. "Remus honey, don't look at me like that. I have every right to be curious about the people in your life. Especially..."  
  
"Especially what?" asked Remus and Hermione could hear an edge to his tone.  
  
"It's just that you never explained how she knew what you were and now the whole school knows and Headmaster Dumbledore came by the middle of last week and told us you were having a bit of a hard time at school..."  
  
"Did he also tell you how Hermione was sticking up for me?" interrupted Remus.  
  
"Yes," conceded his mother. "That's one of the reasons we extended the invitation. I knew I had to get to know the girl who not only charmed our son, but also the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Dumbledore couldn't say enough positive things about her."  
  
"I'm glad you invited her," said Remus. "I really want you guys to get to know each other, because she's becoming, no she is very important to me."  
  
"We can see that son, but your mother and I are still concerned. We worry about you, more so than most parents probably."  
  
"Hermione doesn't care about my condition," said Remus. "If that's what you're worried about. It's just not an issue for us."  
  
"Of course it's an issue, Remus," said his mother sharply.  
  
"Shh," hushed Remus glancing toward the hallway. Hermione pressed herself further into the wall.  
  
"I can't believe you're that naïve."  
  
"Daphne, not now," interrupted Mr. Lupin.  
  
"No," said Mrs. Lupin. "Remus, I'm sorry, but what do you really know about that girl. You've only just met her and you've already given away your heart. Sweetheart, I love you. I don't want you to get hurt."  
  
"Well I love her and I know she won't hurt me." There was a long pause, and Hermione knew she should be getting back, but she couldn't make herself move. "I'm going to go check on Hermione," said Remus shortly.  
  
Hermione moved back to the bathroom quickly. She didn't want Remus to know she had heard everything. She waited silently and in a matter of seconds heard a knock on the bathroom door. She opened the door with a smile plastered on her face.  
  
"You ok?" asked Remus.  
  
"Mm Hm," she murmured. "Just taking a minute to calm down," she explained.  
  
"Well come on," he said taking her hand. He entwined his fingers through hers and brought her hand up to his lips to kiss. She loved when he did that, it felt so intimate to her.  
  
They entered the living room and sat together on the couch. Remus never released her hand. Hermione noticed that both Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were sitting calmly, smiling at them as if nothing had happened.  
  
The rest of the night was spent drinking tea and exchanging polite, but irrelevant conversation. Remus answered most of the personal questions directed at Hermione and deflected anything he deemed too personal. Finally when it was near midnight things started to wind down.  
  
"You look tired, Remus," said his mother. "Maybe you ought to get to bed."  
  
"Mum," Remus protested. "I'm not a little child anymore. I don't need to be reminded to go to bed."  
  
"I know that dear, but the full moon's only a week away and..."  
  
"Mum," he cut her off.  
  
"Honey, I think your mom's right," interrupted Hermione. "We've had a long day and an even longer week." She brushed a lock of his hair off his forehead gently. "And you do look tired."  
  
He smiled. "Okay," he agreed. "But only because you look tired too." He stood and pulled her to her feet. He went over and hugged his father and kissed his mother. "Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight," echoed Hermione. "Thank you for the wonderful dinner and for having me over."  
  
"Of course," smiled Mrs. Lupin warmly. "We'll talk some more in the morning," she promised.  
  
Remus led her to the guestroom and gave her a chaste kiss at the door. "Goodnight," he whispered.  
  
"Goodnight," she returned. "I love you."  
  
"I love you two," he said giving her one more kiss before going to his room. She closed the door behind her and quickly changed for bed.  
  
She lay awake for a long time thinking about the things she had heard Remus's mother say. It was obvious to her that his mother was very protective of him, but Hermione couldn't really blame her. If their roles were reversed, Hermione knew she would have felt the same way. The only thing to do, she concluded, was to show Mrs. Lupin how much she cared about her son.  
  
Hermione wasn't sure how long she had been asleep when she heard her door open. For a disoriented second she thought she was at Hogwarts before she remembered she was staying at Remus's house. She squinted in the darkness and could barely make out the shape approaching her bed.  
  
"Hermione," Remus whispered.  
  
"What's the matter," she said tiredly.  
  
"I can't sleep," he said in a sad voice and she nearly laughed out loud.  
  
"You sound like a little boy," she returned. He pushed her over a bit and sat on her bed. "What are you doing?" she demanded in a whisper.  
  
"Staying with you," he stated. "I can't sleep, knowing you're across the hall."  
  
"No way," she hissed. "Get out now."  
  
"Hermione," he protested.  
  
"No," she said firmly, pushing him away from her. "I want your mother to like me, not think I'm some kind of... you know what."  
  
"She won't. I promise I'll be out before morning."  
  
"No," repeated Hermione, but he wasn't listening. He squirmed into the bed next to her and pinned her down, kissing her long and hard. His hand went to her waist and he tickled her ribcage.  
  
She giggled against his mouth. "Damn it, Remus," she whispered. "If they catch you..."  
  
"They won't," he said happily and rolled off her. He spooned up against her and threw his arm around her waist and she laced her fingers through his and settled comfortably against him.  
  
"I love you," she said through a yawn.  
  
"Mmm, me too," he mumbled. They were asleep within minutes.  
  
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A/N: I have to say a special thanks to reviewer Creative Deficit. The scene on the train between Sirius and Hermione was partially inspired by your review. I love when I get suggestions in the reviews and occasionally some of those suggestions end up in the story. 


	21. Chapter 21

True to his word, Remus was out of Hermione's room before the sun had been up for a half an hour. He got dressed then wandered through his home feeling a peace he hadn't felt in weeks. Part of him wished he didn't have to go back to Hogwarts in a day and a half. He indulged himself in a brief fantasy where Hermione lived with him in this house and he spent every night with her in his arms.  
  
Remus went to the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of juice and sat quietly at the table. He was mentally planning all the things he wanted to do with Hermione today. He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice when his father entered the kitchen.  
  
Mr. Lupin watched his son for a few minutes before Remus noticed he was there. "Dad," said a startled Remus. "I didn't see you."  
  
"That much was obvious," returned Mr. Lupin with a smile. He sat next to his son and reached for the container of juice. "I'm glad I caught you alone. I wanted to talk to you."  
  
"About?" asked Remus cautiously.  
  
Mr. Lupin cleared his throat. "I went to check on you last night and you weren't in your bed."  
  
"Oh," said Remus uncomfortably.  
  
"Son, I understand that you're not a child anymore, but that young lady is a guest in our home."  
  
"Dad," Remus cut him off. "Nothing happened. Hermione and I aren't... doing... anything." His father raised his eyebrows at him. "Honest dad," continued Remus. "I was in her room last night, but we were just sleeping. I promise." When his father didn't respond Remus felt the need to continue. "Hermione and I aren't... we haven't...," Remus took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "We're not having sex," he finished almost painfully.  
  
His father chuckled lowly. "Remus," he began putting his hand on his son's arm. "I trust you to act appropriately and to treat Hermione with respect. You've never given me any reason to think less of you."  
  
"Thanks," mumbled Remus.  
  
"Having said that," continued his father and Remus groaned, sensing an impending lecture. His father laughed. "Hear me out, Remus. I just wanted to remind you to be careful. I was a young man myself once."  
  
"I know dad," said Remus, cutting him off. "We already had this conversation a few years ago."  
  
"I remember," his dad returned with a smile. "But you didn't have a girlfriend at the time, nor did you seem particularly interested in getting one, if I remember correctly."  
  
"Well things have changed," acknowledged Remus.  
  
"Yes," agreed his father. "I can see that. And so can your mother."  
  
"Mom still thinks I'm ten years old," said Remus bitterly.  
  
"You can't blame your mother for being protective of you," said his father firmly. "When you've buried one child and nearly had to bury another it changes you. She carries a lot of guilt over what happened to you."  
  
"I don't know why," said Remus. "It was my own fault."  
  
Mr. Lupin put his hand on Remus's and squeezed it tightly. "No, it wasn't. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't hers. It just was. And I will never be able to tell you how proud I am of the man you've become despite of what happened to you."  
  
"Thanks dad," said Remus and they smiled warmly at each other.  
  
"Do you have any plans for today," asked Mr. Lupin, sitting back in his chair.  
  
Remus shrugged. "I thought maybe I might show Hermione around town."  
  
"Okay, but be sure to be back in time for dinner. You can't keep her away from your mother forever," said Mr. Lupin with a smirk. "Besides, think of the hard time her father is going to give you when you're introduced.  
  
"That's a sight I'll never get tired of seeing," said a voice from the door. Both Remus and his father looked up to see Daphne Lupin leaning against the doorway smiling happily at her two boys.  
  
"Morning mum," said Remus.  
  
"Good morning, darling," said Mr. Lupin.  
  
She moved over to them and kissed her son on the cheek. "Did you sleep well, sweetheart?"  
  
"Yeah mum," said Remus. He felt heat flood his cheeks and hoped his mother didn't notice.  
  
"Is Hermione still asleep?" she asked.  
  
Remus glanced at the clock. "That's weird. She's usually up so early. I almost always have to drag her out of the library in the morning so she can get breakfast before class."  
  
"Why don't you go check on her," suggested Mr. Lupin.  
  
Remus immediately stood and went to the guest bedroom. He knocked lightly on the door.  
  
"Come in," Hermione called from inside. Remus entered the room to find Hermione fully dressed and sitting on the edge of her bed.  
  
"Morning," he said softly.  
  
"Good morning," she returned with a smile.  
  
"Did you sleep well?" he asked.  
  
"No, I'm afraid I had an elbow in my back most of the night."  
  
"Sorry," he said sheepishly.  
  
"I'm only teasing," she grinned. "I slept very well." She got up and went to Remus kissing him lightly. "You?"  
  
"Other than the fact that I was in constant danger of being strangled by your hair, I slept fine."  
  
She smacked him playfully on the shoulder. "Seriously though, no one saw you leave this morning, right?"  
  
"No," said Remus quickly. "Our secret's safe." He didn't think she'd care to hear that his dad knew they had shared a room last night. He took her hand and pulled her toward the door. "Come on, you can't hide in here forever."  
  
Hermione followed Remus into the kitchen where his parents were sitting enjoying some coffee. "Good morning," she said brightly.  
  
"Good morning, Hermione," they returned. "Did you sleep well?" inquired Mrs. Lupin.  
  
"Yes very well, thank you," she said sitting down.  
  
"What do you two have planned for today?" asked Mrs. Lupin.  
  
"I'm not sure," said Hermione, glancing over at Remus.  
  
"I thought we'd go for a walk after breakfast," said Remus. "If you want."  
  
"Sure," agreed Hermione. "Sounds like fun."  
  
Once their plans were settled, they were eager to begin their day. They ate breakfast quickly and were out the door in less than thirty minutes.  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stood inside the house and watched them from behind a large picture window until they had disappeared from view.  
  
"He seems happy," said Mrs. Lupin, but her comment was more of a question than a statement.  
  
"Yes, he does," her husband assured her. "Very happy."  
  
"Why is it that I have a bad feeling about her then?" asked Mrs. Lupin quietly.  
  
"Daphne, the girl seems perfectly pleasant to me. And our son is clearly enamored with her. I think you should give her a chance."  
  
"Call it mother's intuition, but I have a terrible feeling that she's hiding something from us."  
  
"Let's hope you're wrong," said Mr. Lupin gently, before moving away from the window.  
  
"Yes," agreed Mrs. Lupin. "Let's hope."  
  
Remus spent the morning showing Hermione all his old haunts. They walked for miles enjoying the scenery and each others company. He took her into the tiny muggle town a few miles from his home where they had lunch and went window shopping.  
  
Hours later they were on their way back to the house. Remus and Hermione walked hand in hand down a small dirt path that wound its way near a thick forest. "It's beautiful out here," commented Hermione.  
  
"I know," agreed Remus.  
  
The sun was high in the afternoon sky and Hermione began to feel uncomfortably warm. "Do you think we could walk through the woods for a little? It's so hot out here and the trees will give us more shade."  
  
"Okay," said Remus easily. Remus seemed to know the woods well and he led Hermione off the path and threw the thick trees. In the near distance she could hear the sound of water running. Before long they reached a gently flowing stream.  
  
"Want to go for a swim?" suggested Remus.  
  
"We don't have any suits," Hermione pointed out rather obviously.  
  
"So," Remus shrugged. "Who needs suits?" He kicked off his shoes and headed for the water. When Hermione didn't follow him immediately he went back for her and grabbed her around the waist. "Come on, you said you were hot." Hermione shrieked when she realized he had every intention of throwing her into the water.  
  
"Remus I swear I'll hex you into next week," she threatened, but he didn't let her go. He dragged her further into the stream laughing all the way. When they were far enough into the water, he plunged her into the water. Hermione came up sputtering and spitting water out of her mouth. She gave Remus a murderous stare. "You are so dead," she laughed and swam out to where he was treading water a few feet away from her. She had nearly reached him when he dodged her and swam a few feet away from her. They continued chasing each other in the water until they were both exhausted. When they tired of their game, they swam to the shore and rested on the grass allowing the sun to dry them.  
  
"Hermione," said Remus softly.  
  
"Hmm?" She had her eyes closed and there was a happy smile on her lips  
  
"I've been thinking a lot about us lately," he began and she smiled happily. "I've been thinking about the future," he continued.  
  
"Have you?"  
  
"Yes, and I wanted to ask you something."  
  
"Yes," she said opening her eyes.  
  
"I was wondering, after we graduate, do you think maybe you might want to..."  
  
Hermione let out a great shriek and sat bolt upright.  
  
Remus jerked himself up in shock. "What the..."  
  
Hermione scrambled to her feet and laughed. "Did you see him?"  
  
"What? Who?" asked Remus surveying the sky. Then he heard it. It sounded like the dull roar of some distressed animal was coming at them from behind. He whipped out his wand and turned to the noise.  
  
Pulling up to their side atop a large black motorbike was Sirius. Hermione rushed toward him. "I saw you flying overhead. Have you lost your mind?" she said with a laugh. "Do you have any idea how illegal this motorbike is?"  
  
Sirius pulled his helmet off and set down the kickstand. "Sometimes you have to live a little, Hermione. It's a beauty isn't it?" he said patting the bike.  
  
"Hey, Padfoot," said Remus joining them.  
  
"Hey Moony," replied Sirius. "What do you think?"  
  
"It's nice," said Remus slowly.  
  
"Nice," said Sirius incredulously. "Nice? Here I've been searching for the two of you for nearly an hour and all you can say is nice."  
  
"Where'd you get the bike?" asked Remus.  
  
"Bought it today as sort of an early graduation present for myself. Do you want to go for a ride?"  
  
"No way," said Remus with a laugh.  
  
"Okay," said Hermione excitedly.  
  
Remus stared at her in shock. "You want to ride that thing?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"Why not? I had an uncle who had one and when I was younger he used to take me for rides on it around our neighborhood. I loved it."  
  
"Yeah but you don't like to fly," Remus pointed out delicately.  
  
"We don't have to fly," injected Sirius. He handed his helmet to Hermione. "We'll ride along the stream."  
  
Hermione accepted the helmet. "Do you mind?" she asked Remus. "We'll be right back."  
  
He smiled at her excitement. "Go ahead. In fact, why don't the two of you ride back to the house and I'll meet you there."  
  
"How are you going to get there?" asked Hermione. "You can't walk by yourself. We're at least an hour away on foot."  
  
"I'll apparate," he said simply.  
  
"I didn't know you could apparate," said Hermione.  
  
"I got my apparition's license as soon as I turned seventeen," he replied.  
  
"Oh, I didn't have time to. I didn't turn seventeen until mid-September."  
  
Behind them, Sirius had jumped on his bike and revved the engine. Remus and Hermione turned and laughed. "Okay, I'm ready," said Hermione. She put on the helmet and jumped behind Sirius, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. "See you at home," she called to Remus, before Sirius took off.  
  
Remus watched until they were out of sight before apparating to his house.  
  
"Remus, is that you?" called his mother from somewhere in the house.  
  
"Yeah, it's me," he called back. She emerged from the kitchen wiping her hands on a tea towel.  
  
"Did you have fun?" she asked. "Where's Hermione?" she continued in the same breath.  
  
"We ran into a friend of ours from Hogwarts. She's with him now," explained Remus.  
  
"Really," said Mrs. Lupin, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Mom," said Remus warningly. "Don't."  
  
"What?" she said innocently.  
  
"Sirius bought a motorbike and he's taking Hermione for a ride. They'll be here soon," he explained.  
  
"I see," said Mrs. Lupin, but Remus could clearly see that she didn't. "Is your friend Sirius going to stay for dinner?"  
  
Remus shrugged. "I'm not sure if he can stay."  
  
"I'll set an extra place just in case." She scanned her son. "Why do you look like you've been wet?"  
  
Remus laughed. "I'm nearly dry. Hermione and I went swimming."  
  
"Well you better change. I don't want you to get sick."  
  
He wanted to remind her once again that he wasn't a child, but he didn't feel like arguing so he went to his room and changed. Meanwhile, Hermione and Sirius were nearing the house.  
  
Sirius slowed the bike down just outside the gate and Hermione pulled her helmet off. "That was great," she breathed. She slid off the bike and waited for Sirius to dismount. "Thanks for the ride."  
  
"Sure," said Sirius.  
  
"So, did you come by just to show off your bike or was there something else?"  
  
Sirius smiled sheepishly. "I couldn't stop thinking about you all night," he admitted. Hermione blushed and turned away. "You're not mad at me, are you?"  
  
Hermione shook her head. "No, I'm not mad at you. I wasn't mad at you yesterday. I was just... I don't know."  
  
Sirius got off the bike and leaned against it. "You do want to go. I can see that you do."  
  
"But I can't," she returned firmly.  
  
"I don't get it. Why?"  
  
"Because I've made a mess, Sirius. You don't know, you can't know what I've done."  
  
"Then tell me."  
  
"I can't. It's my problem to deal with."  
  
Sirius laughed. "Haven't you figured out how we work yet?" Hermione looked at him quizzically. "We, the five of us, are a team. We don't have individual problems. If something's wrong, then tell me and we'll fix it together."  
  
"It can't be fixed," she said with some difficulty.  
  
"You know, some people think you're pretty hard to understand, but I think I've got you figured out."  
  
"Is that so," said Hermione indignantly. "Then please pass on your wisdom."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's really easy. You want people to think you're so put together and on top of things, but really deep down you know you're just winging it. And now, you're in panic mode because things aren't going the way you thought they would."  
  
"That's ridiculous," scoffed Hermione. "I'm going inside," she said turning on her heel.  
  
"You think it's your fault Peter ratted out Remus." Hermione stopped dead and turned back to Sirius slowly. Sirius sighed and walked over to her. "Don't act so shocked. It's not that hard to figure out what's going on in your mind. But how could you know it would happen."  
  
"No one was supposed to know for years," she choked out. Sirius pulled her around and into a tight hug and Hermione cried against his shoulder.  
  
"He doesn't blame you. Nobody does."  
  
"I blame me," she replied. "For everything, for Remus, for Peter."  
  
"What about James and Lily and me." She shrugged. "You can't just dismiss that, Hermione. You saved our lives."  
  
"Maybe, but you understand now why I can't go to the Department of Mysteries."  
  
"Not really," said Sirius releasing her. "I think you got scared and now you're using this thing with Remus as an excuse."  
  
"He needs me," argued Hermione.  
  
"He's a big boy," countered Sirius. They stared at each other unblinking.  
  
"Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Because I care about you, Hermione," he said stepping closer to her. "And I know you need this, even if you say you don't. Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to leave. I can't even begin to tell you how much I would miss you, but it's all selfish emotions. You shouldn't be kept away from your family just because we want you with us."  
  
Hermione didn't say anything. She couldn't. Everything he was saying was true. She didn't know if she would ever be able to get home to her friends and family again, but she did know the answer was at the Department of Mysteries in the room with the time turners behind the door Harry had described in her vision.  
  
"But what about Remus," she said softly.  
  
"If he loves you like he says he does, he'd want what was best for you."  
  
Hermione didn't say anything for a long time. They just stood there in silence as she made up her mind. "Come back tonight after everyone's asleep," she said softly. "I'll be waiting here for you at two."  
  
"Then you're not going to tell him?" questioned Sirius.  
  
"I'll leave him a note," she replied. "It'll be easier that way."  
  
"Okay," agreed Sirius. "I'll see you at two." Sirius got back on his back and started it. "Tell Remus I had to get back to the Potter's."  
  
"I will." Hermione stepped away from the bike and Sirius sped off. A few feet down the lane the bike lifted into the air and in a matter of seconds he was no longer visible.  
  
Hermione took a deep breath before heading back into the house. She stepped into the front hallway and headed for her room, but was stopped by Mrs. Lupin who called to her from the kitchen. "Is that you, Hermione?"  
  
"Yes ma'am," replied Hermione.  
  
"Is your friend with you?"  
  
"No, he had to go back to the Potter's."  
  
"Oh, that's too bad. Well, why don't you go freshen up and then get Remus. Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes."  
  
"Okay," agreed Hermione. She went to the guest bedroom and changed her clothes. She was just shrugging on her shirt when there was a knock on the door. Hermione pulled her shirt down the rest of the way before saying, "come in."  
  
Remus opened the door and let himself in. "Hey, where's Sirius?"  
  
"He had to go back to the Potter's," she replied.  
  
Remus crossed the room and sat on the bed. "So, how was the ride?"  
  
"Good," she replied. "Nice and smooth, although I imagine he was taking it easy for my sake." She pulled her hairbrush out of her bag and attempted to set her hair right.  
  
"That was odd how he just showed up like that. Do you think everything's all right?"  
  
"Yes," said Hermione calmly. "I imagine he just wanted to show his new toy off."  
  
"Hermione," said Remus softly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Today was probably one of the best days of my life."  
  
She turned and smiled at him. "You need to get out more."  
  
He got up from the bed and approached her slowly. "Don't make fun of me."  
  
She bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, I wasn't. Today was wonderful. Every day with you has been wonderful." She pulled him into her arms and rested her cheek on his shoulder. One of his arms encircled her waist while his other hand tipped her chin back. He kissed her softly at first and then more energetically. Her arms went around his neck and she pulled him closer against her.  
  
They moved as one until they were next to the bed and then they were on it. Remus stretched out over Hermione moving his lips from her mouth to her neck. She lifted her head slightly to give him better access, breathing deeply. Hermione's hands roamed under his shirt reveling in the feel of his skin. She gripped his back holding him tightly.  
  
Remus worked his mouth from her neck to her jaw agonizingly slow. When he went to kiss her cheek he felt it wet against his mouth. He lifted his head to examine her face and saw that she was crying. "What's wrong," he whispered.  
  
She shook her head. "Don't stop." Remus rolled off of her. "No," she protested trying to hang onto him.  
  
"Why are you crying?" he questioned.  
  
Hermione sat up in bed wiping the tears from her face. She smoothed her shirt and stood, purposely ignoring his questioning eyes. "Your mother has dinner waiting for us," she said quietly before making a quick exit.  
  
Remus was stunned. He jumped from the bed and hurried after her. Halfway down the hall he caught up with her and pulled her to a stop. "I don't understand."  
  
"Not in the hallway," she hissed. "Come on, they're waiting." Hermione pulled him along into the dining room where Remus's parents were waiting patiently. Hermione smiled and took her seat.  
  
The whole dinner was agony for Remus. He could see that there was something wrong with Hermione. She avoided his eyes all night. He was glad when dinner was finally over, but he didn't get a chance to talk to her even then. His mother monopolized her with questions and stories until late in the evening. And then before he could stop her she said she was tired, excused herself and went to bed.  
  
Remus excused himself as soon as he could, but he didn't go to her. Instead he went to his own room and changed for bed. He sat on his bed thinking about the girl across the hall and wondering what was wrong with her. When he was sure everybody in the house was tucked in he quietly opened his door and snuck into her room.  
  
Hermione was lying in bed with her eyes closed. He moved closer and whispered her name, but she didn't wake up. Slowly he got into bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her. He rested his head next to hers on her pillow and watched her until he fell asleep.  
  
When Hermione was sure Remus was asleep she opened her eyes. She could only make out the shadows of his features in the darkness of the room, but she stared and tried to memorize everything she saw.  
  
When it was nearing two o'clock, Hermione extricated herself gently from Remus's arms. She got dressed in the dark as quietly as she could. Then she sat at a small writing table in the room and penned a quick note to Remus, crying all the while. She picked up her letter and placed it on the pillow where her head had been only five minutes before.  
  
Then, before she could change her mind, she hurried from the room. She crept quietly to the front door and opened it carefully.  
  
"Hermione?" came a whisper from behind her. Hermione turned, feeling her heart pounding in her throat. Mrs. Lupin was standing behind her in her dressing gown. "What are you doing, Hermione?" she asked.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I have to go." Hermione took a few steps out of the house before Mrs. Lupin stopped her.  
  
"Where are you going?" she said from the door.  
  
"There's something that I have to do. I'm sorry. It was wonderful meeting you and thank you for having me over, but I have to go now."  
  
"Does Remus know about this?"  
  
"No, and please don't wake him up. I left him a note explaining everything. I'm sorry," she said hurrying away. Sirius was waiting for her on his motorbike. Hermione jumped onto the back of the bike and gripped him tightly.  
  
"Everything okay?" he asked watching Mrs. Lupin watch them.  
  
"Yes, just go, please."  
  
Without needing to be told twice, Sirius hit the gas and they were on their way.

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A/N: Okay you all caught me in a fairly obvious mistake, or at least some of you did. Yes, Sirius's brother is younger, not older and it is a little too soon for him to be dead. It just served my purposes to change those details. Mea Culpa. But it got me thinking that since Regulus (Sirius's brother) was younger, then that means he went to Hogwarts with Sirius and he was probably in Slytherin and if he was then maybe he knew Snape or was even friends with him. What an interesting story that would be.

Hope you liked the chapter, it was murder to write. It's very piggy to still beg for reviews but I'm going to anyway. Review!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I usually don't put author's notes at the start of the chapter, but I had to make an exception. A few of you wrote that you were confused as to why Hermione was going to the Department of Mysteries. I don't really blame you. I had to read the entire story over before I wrote the last chapter just to remind myself of what was going on. I've tried to do a little recap in this chapter to explain Hermione's motivation. Hope it works. Oh and by the way, I have used a few lines from the Order of the Phoenix in this chapter, just for continuity's sake. Anyway, enjoy!  
  
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Hermione had a death grip around Sirius's waist as they flew over the English countryside. She hadn't wanted to fly, but Sirius had convinced her that it was the only way to get to the Ministry of Magic in decent time.  
  
Hermione hadn't flown since the night of her accident and she could still remember the awful feeling of having her broom drop out from under her. That wasn't the only thing she could remember. Ever since she had jumped on the back of Sirius's motorbike she couldn't stop thinking about all the things that had brought her to this point.  
  
**_"I'm drowning," she thought as the water filled her lungs. "This is it." She kicked hard with the little bit of strength she had left, but in the dark cold she had no idea which way was up. Her hand reached out grasping for something, anything, but there was nothing to take hold of. She grew very still and darkness swept across her mind like a veil.  
  
"Hermione," whispered a familiar voice. Hermione laid very still letting the voice cover her like a warm blanket. "Hermione, open your eyes," commanded the voice. She obeyed slowly.  
  
When she opened her eyes everything was out of focus. She squeezed her eyes shut again and opened them slowly. She expected someone to be standing over her, but there was no one. "Hello," she called out. "Is someone there?" As she spoke the words, the images around her that were blurred and out of focus came into view.  
  
She was at Hogwarts lying under the tree by the lake that she had spent so many Sunday afternoon's under with Ron and Harry.  
  
"Hello," she repeated her voice tight with fear.  
  
"It's ok, Hermione," said another voice. "We're here. You're safe now."  
  
Hermione turned slowly, knowing now who the voices were, but not trusting her ears. "Harry," she breathed. "Ron?"  
  
They both smiled and dropped to their knees next to her. "I never thought I'd see either one of you again," she cried and pulled them each into a massive hug.  
  
They held each other tight for several minutes as she cried against them. Finally, she pulled away and took a good look at her best friends. "You look so young," she said in confusion. And they did. The Ron and Harry sitting in front of her looked more like the boys she met that first day on the Hogwarts Express rather than the seventeen year old men she had left behind.  
  
"I don't understand," she said.  
  
"You see us this way because in your happiest memories of us, we were eleven," explained Harry.  
  
"Where are we," she asked in awe.  
  
"That's a bit complicated," said Ron.  
  
"We're not really at Hogwarts, are we?"  
  
"Well you are," said Ron. "Or to be more precise, you're in the lake."  
  
Hermione's eyes grew wide. "Am I dead?"  
  
Harry and Ron looked at each other.  
  
"Am I?" she shouted.  
  
"Calm down, Hermione," said a Harry softly. "You're not dead. We're not going to let anything happen to you. Do you understand? That's why we have to hurry."  
  
"Why are we here together?" she asked.  
  
"We're always together, Hermione," said Harry.  
  
"But why here and where is here?"  
  
"You see, Hermione," Harry began. "People travel through life in pairs and groups. They're meant to meet and meant to be together forever and when they're apart, they're incomplete. I guess in the simplest terms, you could say that we're soul mates."  
  
"Soul mates?" she questioned.  
  
"Yes, contrary to popular opinions, being soul mates has very little to do with romantic love."  
  
"We belong together, just like Peter, James, Sirius, and Remus belong together," explained Ron.  
  
"I thought it might be fate or something that brought me back to them. But I don't belong here with them, do I?" she said softly.  
  
"No, you do," said Harry. "You were meant to go back."  
  
"How did it happen?"  
  
"We can't tell you," injected Ron. "We just wanted to reassure you that you're doing the right thing. No matter what happens, you have to remember that, even when things get bad."  
  
"When things get bad? Why'd you say that? What's going to happen?  
  
"Ron," said Harry sharply. He gave him a warning look and then turned back to Hermione. "Don't worry. You're doing fine and everything will be all right."  
  
"How can you be so sure?"  
  
"Because this isn't the first time something like this has happened."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Do you remember the Department of Mysteries?" asked Harry.  
  
"Of course," said Hermione.  
  
"Do you remember the room with the crystal bell jar?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"In that room..."  
  
Harry was interrupted when Hermione began coughing violently. Immediately the two boys were on their feet.  
  
"We're out of time," said Ron tensely.  
  
Hermione slumped forward and gasped for air. "I... can't... breath," she said haltingly.  
  
"It's ok," said Harry soothingly, putting his hand on her cheek. "We're going to take care of you. You just have to trust us." He pushed her shoulders back. "Lie down and close your eyes."  
  
Hermione did as she was told and reached out for Harry's hand. She held it tightly. "Will I... ever... see you again," she asked between gasps.  
  
"Shh," he hushed her gently, pushing the hair back from her forehead. Ron moved closer and took her other hand.  
  
Tears fell down the sides of her face. "I miss your faces," she whispered just before her eyes slid shut.  
_**  
"Are you okay back there," called Sirius into the wind.  
  
"Yes," called Hermione back. "Are we almost there?"  
  
"Yes almost, just hang on."  
  
Hermione tightened her grip around him in response and tried to lose herself in her memories again.  
  
**_Remus and Hermione were walking around the castle grounds. Remus was doing his best to keep the conversation moving, but Hermione wasn't being very cooperative.  
  
"Hermione," he said softly. "Are you even listening to me?"  
  
"Yes," she returned.  
  
"What's the matter?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing," she said quickly, too quickly.  
  
He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. "You've been quiet like this for weeks now. I thought you were just trying to process what happened to you on Sirius's birthday, but that was nearly a month ago. I'm starting to think it's me."  
  
"It's not you," she said trying to assure him. "It's me." Then she laughed. "That's a horrible line. It's not you, it's me."  
  
Remus didn't laugh. "It's not you, it's me always means the exact opposite is true."  
  
Hermione stopped and pulled Remus around to face her. "It doesn't this time." She sighed wanting to be able to talk to him about what she was feeling, but not knowing what to say or how to begin. She couldn't even explain it to herself. "I love you," she began.  
  
"I love you too," he replied, but his response was guarded as if he was afraid of where she was going.  
  
She smiled sadly and moved toward him. She put her arms around his waist and rested her forehead against his chest. With a sigh he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "I talked to Sirius this morning," he said softly.  
  
She tensed in his arms, but he held her firmly. "Do you want to tell me what happened last night?"  
  
She sucked her teeth and with only a little effort, pulled away from him. "Nothing, Sirius is just such a pest sometimes."  
  
"True," agreed Remus. "But he is your friend and he's worried about you."  
  
Hermione put her hands on her hips. "Well you can tell him that I don't appreciate being interrupted when I work."  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow at her. "I'd say tackling him was a bit of an overreaction, even for you."  
  
"I barely touched him," she replied with a roll of the eyes.  
  
"He's not the only one you've been touchy with lately," Remus continued. "You and Lily seem more like uncomfortable acquaintances than friends lately. And you can't even look at James in the eye anymore. The only person you can spare any patience for lately is Peter and he deserves it less than anyone."  
  
"I have to, none of you have any patience for him," she snapped. But she immediately felt ashamed for her harsh tone. She wanted to deny his other charges, but she knew they were true. She wasn't sure when it had happened or why it had started, but she and Lily grew further apart each passing day. And she couldn't look at James because the mere sight of him reminded her of everything she wanted to forget.  
  
"I'm just tired," she said lamely.  
  
"And that's another thing," he continued. "Lily says you're up till all hours of the night, but there isn't a morning I don't have to pull you out of the library to come eat breakfast."  
  
"It's the N.E.W.T.s," she said, offering up the most likely excuse.  
  
"No, it's not," he returned. "There's something else. I wish you would talk to me," he said with a sigh.  
  
Hermione paused, suddenly feeling every sleepless night and stray worry in her body. "I want to," she said. "But I'm afraid you'll think I've completely lost it."  
  
He smiled. "I would never think that. You can tell me anything."  
  
"Be careful what you wish for," she teased half heartedly.  
  
"Hermione, you're stalling."  
  
"Okay," she sighed. She took a deep breath before plunging ahead. "I saw something that night, the night at the lake," she said quietly. "And I haven't been able to stop thinking of it since."  
  
"What do you mean you saw something?" he asked.  
  
"Before you pulled me out of the lake..." she paused, feeling anxiety coursing through her body. "I think, that is I did, at least I think I did. Oh bother, I saw Harry and Ron. I spoke with them."  
  
He took a step closer to her so that he could look in her eyes. He could see how upset and unsure she was. "Hermione," he began gently. "You nearly died that night. It probably wasn't anything but a hallucination or something like that."  
  
She shook her head. "Don't you think I've told myself that every day for the last four weeks? I can't shake the feeling that there's more to it than that. I feel like there's something I have to do."  
  
He looked away from her. "What?" she asked. Remus felt decidedly uncomfortable. "What?" she repeated.  
  
"Don't you think, maybe, you're trying to find an excuse to keep busy? I mean, since Dumbledore stopped meeting with you. Why can't you just relax?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked Hermione, trying to keep the edge off her voice. "I can relax. What are we doing right now, walking around the lake?" she challenged.  
  
Remus couldn't stop the smile that flicked across his face. "I'm sorry. You're right. We're very relaxed right now." He squeezed her hand tightly. "Honey, I just want you to be happy."  
  
"I can't be happy with all these unanswered questions. Can't you understand that?"  
  
"It sounds like you've made some kind of decision about something and you just don't want to tell me."  
  
Hermione looked into Remus' eyes and suddenly she realized that she had made a decision. She would never be able to rest until she had answers. She had always been this way and fighting her true nature was making her sick. She sighed deeply. "I need to go to the Department of Mysteries."  
  
"The Department of Mysteries," he repeated. His memory flashed back to the night of the accident. He remembered holding her in his arms and hearing her mumble incoherently. She had said something about Ron and Harry and the Department of Mysteries. He wondered why he had blocked that bit out until just now. "What's in the Department of Mysteries?"  
  
"Answers," she stated simply.  
  
"What are the questions?" he asked in frustration, moving away from her.  
  
She let him take a few steps away from him before she started to follow. "You have to understand," she began.  
  
He turned back to her angrily. "Understand what? That you want to leave? That's it isn't it? That's why you've suddenly become so cold and distant. You want to go to the Department of Mysteries to see if they can send you home." She was surprised to see that there were tears in his eyes. "After we pulled you out of that lake the person you called out for was Harry. With you, it's always about him. You changed the future to save him. You're helping Dumbledore defeat Voldemort for him. You've said more than once that you would die for him. Well I think you love him and you've realized you can't be without him."  
  
"This isn't about Harry," she interrupted.  
  
"It's always about him," he shouted angrily. "I had you in my arms and I was thanking the fates that they didn't take you from me and you called out for him."  
  
"You're being jealous for no reason. I'm not in love with Harry and I never was. I'm in love with you."  
  
"Then why don't you want to stay here with me?" he asked weakly.  
  
"I never said I didn't. You're the one who thinks I want to leave you. I don't."  
  
"Then why go to the Department of Mysteries?"  
  
She couldn't look at him. "Because I have to, I have to know what that vision meant. Harry and Ron as good as told me to go. I know it's what I'm supposed to do. I feel it."  
  
He looked at her and she could see only pain in his eyes and then anger. He turned and quickly strode back to the castle.  
  
"You asked," she shouted accusingly at his back. "If I can't be honest with you, then let me know. If all you want to hear out of me is how great things are and how happy I am then just say so." She wished desperately that he had turned and continued their argument, but the fight had left him and he continued moving away from her._**  
  
Hermione could feel them descending. "We're here," Sirius said in a low voice when they had touched down.  
  
Hermione slid from the bike once they had stopped. "How long were we in the air?"  
  
"About three hours," said Sirius as he set his bike against the kick stand.  
  
"Aren't you worried somebody might take your bike?" questioned Hermione. "We're in a pretty dodgy part of town."  
  
Sirius shook his head. "It's got anti-muggle charms on it. And no witch or wizard will think it's anything more than a muggle toy."  
  
"If they ever found out what you did to that bike in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office they'd have you up on charges," warned Hermione.  
  
"Who's going to tell them?" grinned Sirius in return.  
  
They walked in silence down the street of shabby-looking office buildings toward the old fashioned red telephone box. Hermione looked around the deserted street before entering the box. Sirius squeezed in with her. He was practically on top of her as she dialed the phone. Within seconds a cool female voice echoed through the box. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business."  
  
"Hermione Granger and Sirius Black." She glanced at Sirius with a questioning look on her face. Sirius shrugged. "Um, personal business in the Department of Mysteries."  
  
"Thank you," said the cool female voice. "Visitors, please take the badge and attach it to the front of your robes."  
  
Hermione pulled two square silver badges from the coin slot. She handed one to Sirius and pinned the other to her shirt.  
  
The box slowly began to descend and soon they went from dusky night to pitch blackness. Hermione reached for Sirius's hand and squeezed it tightly. Before long, they reached the main entrance to the Ministry of Magic. Hermione and Sirius exited the booth and made their way down the long narrow hallway.  
  
The Ministry was completely deserted, but Hermione hadn't expected anything else. It was almost five o'clock on a Sunday morning, with any luck she and Sirius would be able to get to the Department of Mysteries with no interference.  
  
"This way," said Hermione quietly, leading Sirius to the lifts. They entered one and Hermione scanned the directory. The Department of Mysteries was on the ninth floor. She hit the lift button labeled nine and the doors closed in front of them.  
  
"Department of Mysteries," said the cool female voice, but Hermione didn't exit.  
  
"What's the matter?" asked Sirius.  
  
Hermione was breathing heavily, staring down the long corridor. "Let's hurry," she said. "Before I change my mind." She walked quickly down the hallway to the door at the far end which swung open as they approached, just as it had years ago, or as it would years from now.  
  
Hermione gripped Sirius's hand tightly and moved into the large circular room. "Whatever happens don't let go of my hand," she whispered. Hermione pulled out of her wand, lit it with a faint "lumos" and Sirius did the same. Then she closed the door behind her and said, "hang on."  
  
Sirius gasped as the room began rotating around them. "It's okay," said Hermione through a strained voice. "This is normal." When the room stopped Hermione glanced at the row of doors in front of her. She moved toward one door and opened it. She walked in and Sirius followed.  
  
"Where are we?" he asked. Hermione glanced around the room. She didn't recognize it. The furniture was simple, but hanging from the walls were countless photographs.  
  
"I'm not sure," she replied. "I've never been in this room." Sirius walked around looking at the photographs.  
  
"That's strange," he said. "They're not moving."  
  
Hermione joined him. "They're muggle," she stated.  
  
"But what are they doing here?"  
  
"I don't know," she replied. "But it's been my experience that there's very little in the Department of Mysteries that you'd be able to figure out. Let's go." They returned to the circular hallway and closed the door behind them. Hermione marked the door with her wand just before the room began spinning again.  
  
"Hermione," began Sirius. "Maybe we ought to split up. It could take forever to look through all these doors."  
  
"I don't know," she began hesitatingly.  
  
"Come on, it's going to be morning soon and we might get interrupted."  
  
"All right," she said reluctantly. "We're looking for a room lined with a row of desks with a large crystal bell jar in the middle. Don't go in if you find it. Call me first."  
  
"Okay," agreed Sirius. They moved to separate doors, glanced at each other and nodded.  
  
Hermione opened the door in front of her and Sirius opened his. Without having to enter her room, Hermione knew exactly what room was ahead of her. She could see the enormous tank filled with blue green water and the objects swimming around in it. She closed the door in a hurry. "Definitely not," she said out loud. "That's one room we want nothing to do with," she said to Sirius, but when she looked he was gone. "Sirius?" Hermione moved toward the door he had been standing in front of only moments ago.  
  
She peered through the open door calling for him. When she realized the room she was nearly in she had to grip the wall to steady herself. "Sirius," she yelled out. Below she could see the large stone archway and the black veil gently moving on a non-existent breeze. "Sirius stop."  
  
From below she could see Sirius approaching the veil curiously. Hermione charged into the room and down the stone steps. "Stop," she yelled again. She reached him in seconds and threw herself between Sirius and the veil. "Stop," she cried.  
  
"Can you hear them?" he asked. His voice sounded far away and his eyes were transfixed on the veil.  
  
"Damn it, Sirius. Stay away from it." Hermione had her arms around his waist and was pushing him back up the stairs.  
  
"Hermione wait," he said peering over her shoulder. "I just want to get a look at it."  
  
"No," she shouted at him. "Come on, we're getting out of here. I should have never let you come here." She forced Sirius back up the stairs and through the door. She slammed the door shut and marked it. Then she slid to the floor against the wall.  
  
"Hermione?" Sirius questioned, but Hermione couldn't hear him. All she could hear were echoes from her past and an icy chill fell over her body.  
  
"Maybe this was a mistake," she whispered.  
  
"What was that thing?" he asked, his voice full of awe.  
  
Hermione looked up at Sirius, anger blazing in her eyes. "I told you not to go into any room. Why are you always so damn impulsive? Why can't you ever just do what you're asked?"  
  
"Hey," protested Sirius. "Don't scream at me. I'm not your child." They stared angrily at each other. After a few minutes Sirius extended his hand to help her up, but Hermione smacked it away and stood on her own.  
  
"From now on," she began coldly. "You're to do what I say. Everything I say. You have absolutely no idea what kind of dangerous things are in this place." Hermione pushed past Sirius and approached another door. Sirius stared at her wondering if he would ever understand her. They tried door after door until there was only one left.  
  
"This had better be it, Hermione, because we're out of options," said Sirius. Hermione hesitated for only a moment before throwing the door open.  
  
"This is it," whispered Hermione, stepping into the room. Sirius quickly followed her. Unlike all the other rooms, this room was occupied.  
  
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  
  
Remus groaned in his sleep and rolled over, stretching his arm across the bed. He met nothing but the empty mattress. He opened his eyes slowly and scanned the room, but couldn't see Hermione anywhere.  
  
Remus looked over at the clock on the night stand. It read 6:45. He stretched and got out of bed. She was probably in the bathroom or something, he reasoned to himself. 'I'm surprised she didn't wake me and force me out of her room,' he thought with a smile playing across his face.  
  
Remus exited her room quietly and went to his room. He dressed quickly. Hermione had been so out of sorts the night before and he was eager to cheer her up. He wanted to take her for another walk and finish the conversation that Sirius had inadvertently interrupted the day before.  
  
Remus was never one to be impulsive, but spending the day with her yesterday had made him realize something, he was really and truly in love with her. He wanted to spend everyday with her. That was why he was going to ask her to move in with him when they graduated.  
  
The smile never left Remus's face as he combed his hair and finished dressing. He emerged from his room and went to the kitchen where his parent's were sitting quietly. "Morning," he said happily. They glanced at one another. "Where's Hermione," he asked. "I thought she would have come out by now."  
  
"She said she left you a note," said Mrs. Lupin softly.  
  
"What?" questioned Remus. "What note? What are you talking about?"  
  
"Remus, sit down," said his father.  
  
Remus didn't like the looks in his parent's eyes. "What's going on? Where's Hermione?" Remus moved backwards and hurried to Hermione's room. "Hermione," he called out. She wasn't there. He was about to leave the room when he noticed a piece of parchment lying on the floor near the bed. He picked it up and read it over quickly, then raced from the room.  
  
Remus hurried back to his parent's. "Did anyone see her leave?" he demanded.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Remus," said his mother softly. "She left very early this morning."  
  
"When?" asked Remus in anguish.  
  
"Around two this morning."  
  
"Two," he shouted. "Why didn't you wake me?"  
  
His mother looked at his father. "Son," said his father calmly. "Your mother saw her leaving this morning with your friend Sirius."  
  
Remus turned and ran back to his room. He grabbed his wand and stuffed it into his back pocket.  
  
"Remus, what are you doing?" His parents had come to his room to check on him.  
  
"I'm going to go get her," he said simply.  
  
"Remus, don't let her hurt you again," begged his mother. "I know you think you're in love, but you're young. You don't know what love is yet. She's not for you."  
  
"Mother, stop it," said Remus loudly. "Stop treating me like I'm a child."  
  
"Don't raise your voice at your mother," admonished his father.  
  
"Remus, I just don't want you to get hurt," continued his mother.  
  
"You don't want me to live," Remus accused his mother. "You want me to stay tucked away at school and home, safe and sound."  
  
"That's right. I want you safe. You're not like other children, Remus. You're special. We have to protect you."  
  
"No, you don't," he shouted back. "I don't need protecting. I need to be able to live my life the way I want to live it, with whoever I want to live it with."  
  
"You're too young to be making those kinds of decisions. Your father and I know what's best for you. All we want is for you to be happy, as happy as you can be."  
  
"You don't want me to be happy. You want me to be dependant on you. Well, I'm happy when I'm with her, happier than I ever was alone. My life is better because Hermione's in it."  
  
"Better," spat his mother. "Since she's come into your life everyone has discovered what you really are. How is that better?"  
  
"You just want me to be alone," accused Remus. "You're afraid of her, that's why you let her leave. You're afraid she'll take your place."  
  
Daphne Lupin had her hand over her mouth and tears were shining in her eyes. "Remus, that's enough," shouted his father angrily. "You will not speak to your mother like that."  
  
Remus shook his head. "You can't possibly understand all she's sacrificed for us. If you knew..." he trailed off. "All she wanted was for the two of you to like her. She worried herself sick over it." Remus stared at his parents angrily.  
  
"She ran off in the middle of the night with your friend," said his mother with a tremor in her voice. "I don't think she was too worried about what we would think about her."  
  
"You never even gave her a chance," said Remus in disgust. "I'm going to go get her and then we're going back to Hogwarts." Then, with a pop, Remus disapparated. 


	23. Chapter 23

"This is it," whispered Hermione, stepping into the room. Sirius quickly followed her. Unlike all the other rooms, this room was occupied.  
  
"I had a feeling you might try this," said Professor Dumbledore.  
  
"What are you doing here?" asked a stunned Hermione.  
  
"Making sure you didn't do anything rash."  
  
"But how did you know?" she asked.  
  
"I placed a locating spell on you before you left Hogwarts Friday. It alerted me that you had left the Lupin's residence at around two this morning. When I realized you were heading for the Ministry of Magic, I deduced that you might come here seeking information." Dumbledore turned to Sirius. "I must say that I'm surprised to find you here, Mr. Black. I assumed Hermione would be arriving with Remus."  
  
Sirius stepped forward. "I'm the one who pressured Hermione to come, sir. Please don't be angry with her."  
  
"Sirius," began Hermione, putting her hand on his arm. "That's not true. I wanted to come."  
  
"Your defense of each other is admirable, but I'm not angry with either of you." He turned his attention to Hermione. "I should have realized that you would not be satisfied until you knew everything you could about how you came to be in our time." Dumbledore took a deep breath. "When you came to see me after Christmas and offered me the valuable information you possessed on the Death Eaters movements, I realized that it would be prudent to learn everything I could about you and the mysterious way you arrived at Hogwarts. So I came to visit an old friend of mine who worked in the Department of Mysteries. Her name is Margaret Croaker. Margaret," called Dumbledore.  
  
Both Hermione and Sirius gasped when a woman appeared beside them. Hermione wondered how she hadn't seen her before.  
  
"Miss Croaker is an unspeakable who specializes in the study of time," introduced Dumbledore. "Maggie, this is Sirius Black and Hermione Granger."  
  
Margaret Croaker was an older witch who reminded Hermione a little of Professor McGonagall, or at least the Professor McGonagall she remembered from her time. She was tall with a kind face and graying hair. She had a pair of spectacles that were at the moment hanging around her neck by a thin metal chain.  
  
"Hello," said Sirius and Hermione in turn.  
  
"Maggie and I have had many discussions concerning you, Hermione," said Dumbledore. "And she's done a great deal of research about how you got transported back in time, but I will allow Maggie to explain what she's discovered."  
  
"Perhaps first," Maggie began. "You would like to make yourselves comfortable." Maggie waved her wand and instantly there were four chairs in front of her. Another flick of the wand produced a teapot and cups. The teapot immediately lifted into the air and tipped itself, pouring hot tea into the cups. Dumbledore sat comfortably in his chair, but waved away the tea. Hermione and Sirius sat slowly and held out their hands as the tea cups drifted toward them.  
  
"I'm sure you must have many questions," she began. "I will try and answer what we can."  
  
Hermione stared at the woman in front of her, suddenly at a loss for words. She knew she had many questions, but now she couldn't think of one. This was so unlike anything she had ever expected. She looked helplessly at Sirius. He smiled, reached over and took her hand. That simple touch cleared her mind. She returned Sirius's smile and took a deep breath.  
  
"Can you explain how I got back to this time?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Yes," Margaret returned simply.  
  
Hermione smiled slightly. "How?"  
  
"It appears that the Gateway was opened?"  
  
"The Gateway, what's that?"  
  
"The Gateway is a door to the past that resides at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is the only one of its kind and it is only opened at a time of great need. The Gateway allows one Witch or Wizard to return to a specific moment in time to complete a task."  
  
"But what task?" asked Hermione. "It was purely an accident that I wandered into that door. I wasn't trying to come back and do anything."  
  
"Unfortunately," interrupted Dumbledore. "The exact nature of your task is something we may never know."  
  
"Who opened the Gateway?" asked Sirius. "Whoever opened the gateway would know what Hermione was supposed to do."  
  
Maggie glanced at Dumbledore. He nodded slightly at her and she returned her attention back to Hermione. "The only person with the power to open the Gateway is the Headmaster of the school."  
  
"What?" breathed Hermione, staring accusingly at Dumbledore.  
  
"I'm afraid it's true," confirmed Dumbledore. "But believe me, Hermione. I was as surprised as you are to discover that information. Up until a couple of months ago, I didn't know the Gateway existed."  
  
"How is that possible," accused Hermione. "You're the Headmaster. You should know everything about that school."  
  
"No one could know all the secrets that Hogwarts holds," said Dumbledore kindly. "Its magic is too old."  
  
Hermione digested this information. "So you're saying that my Professor Dumbledore sent me back in time?"  
  
"It would appear so."  
  
"But why wouldn't he ask me? Why wouldn't he tell me what he wanted?"  
  
"I'm afraid we may never know the truth," said Dumbledore. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Perhaps I've already finished my task," said Hermione. "Maybe he sent me back to this time to make sure Harry's parents don't die. Maybe I've done what I was supposed to do." Hermione thought for a minute. "What else could it be? Why else would I have been sent back to this specific time? Yes, that must be it. I was supposed to give Harry his parents back. Assuming that I've completed my task, how do I get home? Can you send me home?" she asked Maggie.  
  
Maggie and Dumbledore regarded each other. "I can't, Hermione," said Maggie. "I'm sorry."  
  
"What do you mean you can't? I want to go home." She glanced from Maggie to Dumbledore, but neither of them could look her in the eye. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I want to go home," she repeated.  
  
"Hermione, I've gone back to look for the Gateway and I can't find it," said Professor Dumbledore. "It will only appear once your task is complete. And then you will have the opportunity to return to your time."  
  
"How could he do this to me?" Hermione took in the information feeling the bitterness of the truth hanging over her.  
  
"Your Professor Dumbledore must have thought the need great enough and he must have sensed you'd be willing. I can't imagine he would have sent you otherwise," said Maggie quietly.  
  
"You've told me many times," said Dumbledore quietly, "that you'd be willing to die for your friend. Maybe I thought that if you were willing to make that big of a sacrifice that you might be willing to make another."  
  
Hermione's bottom lip trembled slightly. She stood and Sirius followed her slowly. With one last angry glance, she turned away from both Dumbledore and Maggie and walked to the door.  
  
"Hermione," called Maggie. "Wait, we have more to tell you."  
  
Hermione whipped around. "I don't want to hear anything else you have to say. Come on, Sirius." Without another look, Hermione left the room and pulled Sirius with her.  
  
Maggie stood and watched them leave. "So you're just going to let her go?" she asked Dumbledore.  
  
"She's not ready to hear any more. When she is she'll come to me."  
  
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  
  
Hermione and Sirius exited slowly when the lift opened on the main floor of the Ministry. She had been eerily quiet since they'd left Maggie and Dumbledore and he wasn't sure what to say to her. She walked down the main hall of the Ministry and he followed her. When she reached the large fountain in the center of the room she sat heavily on its edge. Sirius stood awkwardly a few feet away from her.  
  
"I really thought I'd be seeing my mother in a few days," said Hermione after a while.  
  
"I'm sorry, Hermione."  
  
"Don't be," she returned, with the wave of her hand. "I'll be okay." She took a deep breath and looked down at her lap. "I'm really stuck here," she said in a very matter-of-fact sort of way. "I'm never going home."  
  
Sirius approached her slowly and placed one hand on her cheek. "Hermione," he began. "It's going to be okay."  
  
His simple touch caused what little control she had over her emotions to crumble. Silent tears fell down her face and she looked up. "What am I going to do? Sirius, what am I going to do?"  
  
Sirius kneeled and put his arms around Hermione. "You're going to come back to Hogwarts with me and we'll figure things out."  
  
Hermione returned his embrace fiercely. "Sirius, you're such a good friend. I'm so glad you're here with me."  
  
"I wish I'd never pushed you into coming here. This is all my fault," he rested his cheek against her temple and breathed in the clean smell of her hair.  
  
"No," protested Hermione, holding him tighter. "You were right, I had to know. I just wish...," Hermione trailed off, tensing in his arms.  
  
"What? What do you wish?" he asked softly.  
  
Without answering, Hermione pulled herself away from Sirius and hurried behind him. Sirius turned questioningly to see Hermione rush into Remus's arms.  
  
Remus had apparated directly inside the Ministry and had been watching the exchange between Hermione and Sirius for a minute before she noticed him. When she had finally seen him and run at him he had opened his arms for her instinctually. Remus stared at Sirius with his jaw set as Hermione sobbed in his arms.  
  
Sirius slowly waltzed toward them, but said nothing. When he reached them, Remus turned Hermione so his arm was around her shoulder and led her to the exit talking quietly to her all the way. Sirius took a deep breath before following them out.  
  
In contrast to when they had arrived, the sun had now risen and the English sky was all pink and blue. Sirius hung back a little watching Remus talk to Hermione, but not hearing what they were saying. Hermione was standing against the outside wall of the Ministry building. They were leaning into each other and their foreheads were touching while they talked and Sirius felt that all too familiar tug of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.  
  
After about ten minutes, Remus kissed Hermione on the forehead and rubbed her arms gently. Then he left her standing against the wall and walked over to Sirius.  
  
Sirius stood straighter as Remus approached. "You can shove off now, Sirius," said Remus coolly.  
  
"She okay?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Why don't you let me worry about that," returned Remus. "I think you've done enough."  
  
"Moony, I..."  
  
"Don't, Sirius," said Remus cutting him off. "I really don't want to hear it."  
  
Sirius craned his neck to look at Hermione. She was still standing against the wall, but her head was back and her eyes were closed. She looked exhausted.  
  
"I've got my bike, just there," said Sirius pointing. "I could give her a ride back to your place."  
  
"That won't be necessary. I'll clean up the mess myself, Sirius. Thanks." Remus turned away from him, but Sirius reached out his hand and grabbed his arm.  
  
"Hey," he said sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Remus wrenched free of his grasp and closed the distance between the two of them. "I've seen the way you look at her," growled Remus lowly. "It just killed you that she preferred me to you."  
  
"Now wait a minute, Moony. You've got it all wrong."  
  
"Do I," laughed Remus. "If you couldn't have her, you'd rather neither of us have her."  
  
"I only wanted her to be happy," protested Sirius angrily. "Can you say the same?"  
  
"Happy," snapped Remus. "Does she look happy?" Remus shook his head angrily. "Just stay away from us, Sirius." Remus turned and walked back to Hermione. Sirius watched as Remus put his arm around her and led her down the narrow street. He waited until they turned the corner before getting on his bike and flying away.  
  
Hermione and Remus walked slowly down the street. Her eyes were red and her nose was stuffed from too much crying. "You look dead on your feet," commented Remus.  
  
"I'm okay," returned Hermione. She took a deep breath. "Just a little tired."  
  
"That's understandable," said Remus.  
  
"What did you say to Sirius," she asked quietly.  
  
"I told him that you and I needed to talk," lied Remus easily. "And that we'd see him later."  
  
Hermione wanted to say something in reply, but she was at a loss for words. They continued walking for some time in silence. After a while, Hermione couldn't take the quiet anymore.  
  
"Remus, please don't be angry with me."  
  
"Hermione," began Remus carefully. "I don't think this is the place to talk about this."  
  
"We have to talk about this."  
  
"I agree, and I'm not going to pretend that I'm not upset, but right now all I know is that you need a rest. Once we take care of that, we'll talk."  
  
"Where are we going?" she asked softly.  
  
"Diagon Alley," he answered. "There's a floo station not far from here. From there we can get to the Leaky Cauldron. My father is a friend of the owner and I think I can get him to let us use a room until we have to leave for King's Cross Station. We should be there within half an hour." True to his word, Hermione and Remus were standing in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron within thirty minutes. Hermione sat at one of the tables while Remus arranged things.  
  
Just when Hermione thought she would fall asleep right at the table, Remus came over dangling a key in front of her. He led her upstairs to an empty room.  
  
"Why don't you take a shower," suggested Remus. "And I'll see about getting us something to eat." Hermione nodded, too tired for speech and Remus left the room. He tried to be as quick as possible, but Tom was feeling very talkative this morning and kept Remus longer than he intended to be gone.  
  
When Remus finally managed to secure a breakfast order with Tom about twenty minutes had passed. He took the stairs back up to their room two at a time. "I'm sorry," he said, bursting through the door. "Tom just wouldn't shut up." He paused.  
  
Hermione was standing by the window, staring out of it. She had clearly just gotten out of the shower. Her hair was wet and she was wrapped in a thin white cotton robe. She turned when Remus entered to see him staring at her. "What?"  
  
"Uh, nothing," he mumbled. "Where'd you get the robe?" he asked.  
  
"Transfigured my shirt," she answered. "Breakfast?"  
  
"It'll be up in a minute."  
  
"Good, I'm starving. Sit," she said pointing toward the bed. "We're going to talk now."  
  
"Don't you want to rest?" he asked.  
  
"Don't you want to talk?" she returned.  
  
He nodded and sat at the edge of the bed. She crossed the room and joined him. "I owe you an explanation," she said softly.  
  
Remus nodded and pulled out something from his pocket and passed it to Hermione. It was the note she had written. "Were you really going to say goodbye with this?"  
  
She took the note and played with it. "I didn't know any other way," she said lamely.  
  
"You're going to have to do better than that," said Remus.  
  
"What do you want me to say?" asked Hermione. "That I'm sorry, because I am and I'm not. I had to do this, but now that it's over I wish I never had."  
  
"Did they really say you couldn't go back?" asked Remus. Hermione nodded. "I'm sorry," said Remus sincerely.  
  
"Thanks," murmured Hermione.  
  
"And I know it's selfish," continued Remus in a hurry, "but I'm glad you're still here. I don't know what I would have done if you had left."  
  
Hermione started crying again and Remus pulled her into his arms. "You have to know," she said brokenly. "That it killed me to leave you this morning. I never wanted to hurt you."  
  
"Shh, it's okay," soothed Remus, rubbing her back. "This is such a mess," he said. "I don't think I've ever felt two more opposite things at once. I wish you weren't feeling this way, but I'm still glad you're here with me."  
  
"It's the same for me," returned Hermione. When she had pulled herself together, she pulled away from Remus. "Enough," she said sniffing. "It doesn't matter what I wish. All that matters is what is. It seems that I'm destined to be here in this time, so I'll make the best of it. The only thing I need to know is how you feel now. Have I changed things between us by running out in the middle of the night?"  
  
"No," returned Remus softly. "Maybe it should have, but it doesn't. I just can't see my life without you now. I don't want to."  
  
Hermione smiled sadly. "Why is it that neither of us look very happy then?"  
  
"Do you want to try and get some sleep?" asked Remus, ignoring the question.  
  
Before she could answer, there was a knock at the door. Remus got up and accepted the breakfast tray from one of the maids. He stood in front of her with the tray.  
  
"So," said Remus. "Sleep or eat?"  
  
"Eat," said Hermione with a sigh. "I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind." She started to get up.  
  
"Stay," commanded Remus. He brought the tray to the bed and placed it down carefully. "Sit back." Hermione smiled and immediately scooted to the head of the bed. Remus sat next to her and dragged the tray toward them. They ate together in silence and when they were done, Hermione felt much better. Remus removed the tray with a flick of his wand.  
  
Hermione moved closer so she was settled comfortably against him. Remus rested his head on top of hers and wrapped his arms around her. "Sleep," he whispered to her.  
  
"I don't want to sleep," she said through a yawn.  
  
"You need to sleep," he said with a smile.  
  
"No," she protested, but already her eyes were closed. Within minutes Remus could hear her breathing deeply and knew that she was finally asleep.  
  
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A/N: Sorry the update was so long in coming, I went on vacation. I had most of this written before I left, but it just didn't feel right, so I've tweaked it about half a dozen times. For some reason this was a hard one to write. I hope it doesn't show too much. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed it and I will try to update soon. 


	24. Chapter 24

"Hermione wake up," said Remus shaking her gently.  
  
Hermione rolled over, wiping her eyes sleepily. She opened her eyes and smiled up at Remus' smiling face. "Morning," she mumbled.  
  
"Afternoon," he replied.  
  
She smiled again. "What time is it?"  
  
"Time to get up," he replied. "We have to hurry if we're going to get to the train on time." His gaze fell and Hermione could see a blush creep over his cheeks. She glanced down and noticed her robe had fallen open a little. She hastily pulled it closed and got out of bed.  
  
"That was a wonderful nap," she said with a sigh. "That and the shower have almost completely washed away this horrible day." She made her way to the bathroom, but left the door open a crack. "I'll just be a second," she called out to Remus. Remus could hear running water and in a couple of minute, she emerged from the bathroom fully dressed and pulling her mass of hair back into a ponytail.  
  
"You ready to go?" he asked with a smile on his face.  
  
She nodded. "I can't wait to get home." He took her hand and laced his fingers through hers.  
  
"Yeah, me too," he agreed. They walked downstairs together and bid Tom goodbye. They exited the Leaky Cauldron on the muggle side and Remus hailed a cab.  
  
"Do you have any muggle money," she whispered as they got into the car.  
  
"I went to Gringott's while you were asleep and had some money converted," replied Remus. "King's Cross Station," Remus told the driver. They settled in the backseat of the cab and Hermione relaxed fully against Remus. He loved how she felt so comfortable in his arms.  
  
"You know we take the N.E.W.T.'s in a month and a half," Remus remarked.  
  
"Mm hm," Hermione responded.  
  
"Have you thought much about what you might want to do after we graduate?" he asked.  
  
"To be completely honest," said Hermione somewhat hesitantly. "I don't think I ever really believed I'd still be here."  
  
"I see," said Remus stiffly.  
  
"I'm sorry," murmured Hermione sitting up.  
  
"Don't be," waved Remus dismissively. "While you were sleeping I was thinking about everything that happened. I tried to imagine what I would do if I found myself out of my own time and away from my family and my friends"  
  
"And," prompted Hermione.  
  
"And I would probably do everything I could to get home."  
  
Hermione smiled sadly. "I'm glad you understand."  
  
"Just promise me one thing," he continued.  
  
"Anything," she agreed.  
  
"Don't ever run out in the middle of the night again. Have enough faith to confide in me."  
  
"Okay, I will," she said earnestly.  
  
"Because I would have never gotten over you disappearing," he continued hurriedly. "The idea of you not being here..."  
  
"I know," said Hermione gently. "I am so sorry."  
  
"I know you are," he returned.  
  
They hugged tightly and Remus leaned over to kiss her, but just as he drew nearer the cab stopped. They both glanced forward to see the driver's grinning face. Remus reached over and handed him a few quid before following Hermione out of the cab.  
  
The cab sped off fairly quickly and they walked into the train station arm in arm. Remus had his arm around Hermione's shoulder and they couldn't stop kissing each other every so often. They looked very much like a young couple in love.  
  
They got through to platform nine and three quarters with no difficulty at all and got on the train. They were the last to arrive. James, Lily, and Sirius were in the first compartment, but neither Remus nor Hermione noticed. They were too involved with kissing each other senseless.  
  
"Ahem," said James clearing his throat loudly. Remus and Hermione broke apart to see James and Lily grinning at them and Sirius rolling his eyes.  
  
"Hi," they said giggling. They joined their friends in the compartment. Within seconds they could feel the train lurch forward and they were on their way back to school.  
  
"It looks like you guys had a great weekend," observed Lily.  
  
Remus and Hermione exchanged a smile.  
  
"How was your weekend?" asked Hermione.  
  
"A bore," sighed Lily. "I pretty much stayed in the house all weekend while my mother tried desperately to get my sister and I to talk to each other. Thank God James came over Saturday night or I would have died of boredom."  
  
"You went over," commented Hermione. "How sweet."  
  
James smiled charmingly.  
  
"Oh please," laughed Lily. "He was just bored because Sirius abandoned him. He was just about to tell us where he went when you guys showed up."  
  
They all turned toward Sirius, James and Lily looked with interest while Remus and Hermione looked uncertain.  
  
"I bought a motorbike," he said casually. "And I decided to have a little fun." His eyes landed on Hermione's, but he quickly looked away. She frowned slightly, but held her tongue. At least for now, her trip to the Ministry would stay between the three of them.  
  
The rest of the trip was spent talking about nothing of importance. They just enjoyed each other's company, each of them grateful to be heading back to school, though none of them would ever admit it.  
  
Dumbledore was there to meet them at Hogsmeade. Hermione carefully avoided looking at him. She wasn't ready to talk about what happened over the weekend. All she wanted now was to get back into a normal routine. He walked the five friends back to Hogwarts and straight to Gryffindor Tower. It was late and most of the Gryffindors were asleep in their beds. James, Remus, and Sirius bid goodnight to the girls and went up to their dorm room.  
  
"Sirius," said Remus. "Could I talk to you for a second?"  
  
Sirius glanced at James, who smiled slightly and continued up to their room. "What's up?" asked Sirius.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about this morning," said Remus. "I think maybe I was a little out of line. I was just so worried about her."  
  
"You know what, Remus, just forget about it. You weren't out of line, I was," returned Sirius.  
  
"Well, Hermione and I talked things over and we're okay and I just wanted to make sure you and I are too."  
  
"Yeah, we're fine."  
  
"Okay, good," finished Remus. He moved past Sirius to their room.  
  
"Remus," called Sirius.  
  
Remus turned. "Yeah?"  
  
"About what you said this morning, I would never act on it. You're my best friend and I respect that. I just can't help how I feel about her." Sirius stared at his feet.  
  
Remus stared at his friend, uncertain of how to respond.  
  
The silence made Sirius so uncomfortable that he continued unnecessarily. "I didn't mean to fall in love with her you know. I just couldn't help it."  
  
"You're in love with her?" asked Remus in shock.  
  
Sirius's eyes went wide. "I thought... But you said..."  
  
"I knew you were attracted to her, but I... I didn't know you were in love with her," said Remus softly.  
  
Sirius closed his eyes wearily, silently berating himself for opening his damn mouth.  
  
"Does she know?" asked Remus.  
  
Sirius shook his head. "No, I don't think so."  
  
"Are you going to tell her?" Remus held his breath waiting for the answer.  
  
"No," said Sirius quietly. "It wouldn't matter if I did. She loves you. I never had a chance."  
  
"Thanks," Remus mumbled, though he felt miserable. How could he possibly keep Hermione if Sirius wanted her? He was handsome, charming, and rich and Remus had never felt more shy, awkward and poor. "Maybe we should go up," said Remus tiredly. He didn't want to think about the consequences of Sirius being in love with Hermione. It was too much to take in this late.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Sirius, following him slowly. He suddenly felt completely exhausted and only wanted to sleep for the next twenty hours. Unfortunately, the sight that met them in their room drove sleep straight from his mind.  
  
Peter was sleeping in his bed. When James saw his two best friends enter the room he hurried over to them to prevent them from doing anything rash.  
  
"Don't wake him," he hissed. "Now is not the time."  
  
"He has a lot of nerve," seethed Sirius.  
  
"Sirius is right," agreed Remus. "He has no right to be here, not after what he did to Hermione."  
  
"And to Remus," Sirius put in.  
  
"Maybe," agreed James. "But it's late and there's nothing we can do about it now. We'll go to Dumbledore in the morning. If Hermione's finally willing to tell him about the conversation she heard between Peter and Snape, then they'll both be expelled for sure. Don't know why she hasn't said something so far. Anyway, until then you two need to control your tempers."  
  
"Since when have you become the rational one," asked Sirius disgustedly.  
  
"Since Remus stopped," answered James. "Trust me, I don't like it anymore than you do. Personally, I'd have liked to see you throw him off the balcony. It would have saved us all a bunch of trouble."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind next time," returned Sirius. They all stared at Peter for a few seconds before slowly going to their beds. They all changed and got ready for bed, though none of them slept very well that night.  
  
When they woke up the next morning, Peter was gone. The boys showered and dressed slowly, feeling the restless night hanging on them. When they finally trailed downstairs the girls had been waiting for fifteen minutes. They grinned at the boys, none of whom looked very much awake.  
  
"Did you three stay up late and talk," teased Lily.  
  
"No," said James sourly. "Peter's back. Who could get a good night's sleep knowing that rat's in the room."  
  
"We know," said Hermione. "We saw him come down this morning."  
  
"Did he say anything to you two?" asked Remus in concern.  
  
"No," Hermione replied. "He saw us, but he left pretty quickly. I don't think he's too interested in talking to either one of us."  
  
"We talked it over last night," injected James. "And we think you ought to go to Dumbledore about what you heard between Peter and Snape."  
  
"I can't," said Hermione quietly.  
  
"It'll be okay, Hermione," said Sirius. "We wouldn't let them do anything to you, but Dumbledore has to know."  
  
"I agree with Sirius," said Lily. "After what he did to Remus, I can't see any help for it. I always liked Peter. I thought he was really sweet, but he's changed and if he's really in league with Death Eater's how can we not tell."  
  
"But don't you guys see," continued Hermione. "If we tell Dumbledore, they'll be expelled and then they won't have a chance."  
  
"They don't have a chance now," said Remus. "You better than anyone knows that. It's too late for Peter. And anyone could guess that Snape would become a Death Eater."  
  
"Yeah," sneered Sirius. "It's in old Snivellus's blood."  
  
"Some people might have said the same thing about you," Hermione countered. She flinched at Sirius's angry expression. "My point is," she continued hurriedly. "I think we can help them both. They're still young. They can't be in that far. I doubt they've even taken the mark."  
  
"The mark?" questioned Lily. "What's that?"  
  
"Death Eaters are forced to take a mark of loyalty on their arms when they join. It allows Voldemort to summon them whenever he wants," she explained.  
  
They all gasped when she said the Dark Lord's name. "How do you know that," hissed Lily.  
  
Hermione bit her bottom lip. "I just do. I've seen it."  
  
"Yeah well trust us, Hermione," said James. "We know Snivellus a little better than you and he can't be saved. He was a dark wizard the day he was born."  
  
Hermione stood and addressed James alone. "You don't know everything you think you know. Now, I can't stop the rest of you from talking to Dumbledore, if that's what you want to do, but I won't, at least not yet. I think we still have time."  
  
"Time for what?" asked Remus. But Hermione didn't answer, but as it was she didn't have the time she thought she had.  
  
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Peter grabbed a quick breakfast, before hurrying out of the main hall. He had no desire whatsoever to run into his former best friends. They were all so smug it made him wish he was as big as Sirius or as good with a wand as James so he could teach them all a lesson right then and there. As it was, he would have to wait until after the N.E.W.T.'s to make them pay for what they had done to him, all of them, but especially Hermione.  
  
He had spent his week at home very productively. His mother, as always, had been too tired to bother him about where he went every evening. Ever since his father had left them when he was only a little boy his mother had succumbed to long drawn out bouts of depression that usually left her too tired for much.  
  
Peter had always had to fend for himself. His mother liked to have him close, but as he got older he realized that she was usually too out of it to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. When he was young all he ever wanted to do was stay out all night and sleep under the stars and think and dream about what life could have been like.  
  
He thought his dreams had finally come true when he got his letter from Hogwarts. Being sorted into Gryffindor and becoming friends with James, Sirius, and Remus had been everything he had ever wanted, but as they got older things began to change.  
  
Peter never seemed to be able to catch on to their lessons the way his friends did and he could often feel their frustration with him. Other things made Peter angry too. He was always so jealous of the way people flocked to Sirius and James, especially girls. They even seemed to prefer Remus to him, although until Hermione, Remus had never returned any of their attention. He often felt like none of them would have been his friends if he hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor with them. Hermione's arrival only seemed to cement that idea in his head.  
  
The thought of Hermione made his entire body tense. He hated her and he was going to make her pay for what she had done. He had already put things into motion. She was going to be sorry she had ever left France, though Peter wasn't convinced that was where she was from.  
  
She knew too much and she said too many odd things to be just a mere transfer student. Peter was convinced Dumbledore had brought her to Hogwarts to be a spy. She probably wasn't even a student. She was too smart to be just a seventh year. She probably wasn't even eighteen. 'Poor Remus,' he thought gleefully. 'He'll just be crushed when he finds out.'  
  
Peter continued moving quietly through the castle. He was meeting Snape before class on the seventh floor. He could have gotten there faster if he transformed, but he wasn't ready for anyone, not even his new friends, to know that he was an unregistered animagus. One never knew when that kind of a secret could save your life.  
  
Snape stood at the top of the stairs with his friends Rodolphus and Bellatrix. "What took you so long, Pettigrew," hissed Snape.  
  
"Breakfast," returned Peter cheekily.  
  
The three Slytherins stood scowling at Peter. None of them liked the idea of being in league with the traitorous Gryffindor, but they had little choice. It had been made clear to them all that they were going to have to put up with Peter.  
  
"So were you able to pass along all the information we were able to get while you were on your little vacation?" asked Snape impatiently.  
  
Peter nodded.  
  
"And," prompted Rodolphus.  
  
"And they were very pleased with what_ I_ was able to give them."  
  
"You little," began Bellatrix angrily, advancing on Peter.  
  
"Calm down, Bella," shot Snape angrily. "Peter's not stupid enough to take the credit all for himself. Trust me. He's not that brave."  
  
Peter scowled. "Yeah well I was the one who was able to give them the map," he returned. "None of you even knew it existed."  
  
"Yes, and with that map, the Dark Lord will be able to launch an assault on Hogwarts and show the entire wizarding world who the most powerful wizard is," said Bellatrix coolly. "And when he's taken over Hogwarts he'll remember who made his greatest victory possible and he'll reward us beyond our wildest dreams."  
  
Peter rolled his eyes. Bellatrix was just a little too melodramatic for him. All he wanted was to make his former friends pay for what they had done and now they would.  
  
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A/N: Absolutely no hate mail for leaving it there. You all would have done the same and you know it. I'll try to get the next chapter up as quickly as possible. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was one of those transitional ones, but hopefully I put enough goodies into it to make it worth the suspense. 


	25. Chapter 25

The month and a half leading up to the N.E.W.T.s was one of the most stressful times of Hermione's life. It was probably the most stressful time of all their lives. Even James and Sirius seemed to be approaching the upcoming exams with a certain amount of trepidation.  
  
Of course, Hermione had been through worse in her young life, but she never could remember that in the face of an exam.  
  
Out of necessity she had pushed all thoughts of her trip to the Ministry and her conversation with Dumbledore out of her head. She decided she was too curious for her own good. It was a very bad habit she had picked up and she was determined to shake it off.  
  
The boys and Lily had wanted to go to Dumbledore about Snape and Peter, but didn't see much point without Hermione and she had resolved not to, though she wouldn't give them a reason that satisfied them. All she said was the timing was not right yet and she wouldn't play any part in having them expelled.  
  
What made things worse for Hermione was her complete uncertainty about her future. After graduation she didn't know where she would go. The Potter's had mentioned that they'd like her to visit again and she was sure Dumbledore would let her stay at Hogwarts for a little while if she needed, but the idea of being dependant on others bothered her. She wanted to make it on her own.  
  
Three days before the exam The Marauders, Lily and Hermione could be found in the library desperately studying with the rest of the seventh years and the fifth years who were gearing up for their O.W.L.'s. They had so many books stacked between them that they could barely see each other across the table.  
  
"What time is it," moaned James parting the books in front of him and peering at Hermione and Remus who were sitting across from him.  
  
"Not nearly time to stop," said Hermione glancing up from her book for half a second before burying her face in it again.  
  
"It has to be," groaned Lily. "We've been studying for hours. I don't think I can take anymore of this."  
  
"We've only got three more days until the exams," said Remus. "You'll make it and then we won't ever have to study again."  
  
"You never stop learning," commented Hermione, not bothering to pick her head up out of her book.  
  
The rest of them rolled their eyes and Sirius slammed his book shut. "Well I'm done."  
  
Happily, James and Lily shut their books as well and Remus followed slowly. Only Hermione continued reading.  
  
"Come on, Hermione," said Sirius snatching the book from her. "If you don't relax a little, you'll be too wound up to do well on the exams."  
  
"And if we don't keep studying," she returned, snatching her book back. "Then we won't know everything we need to. Now come on, we have to study." She opened her book again and continued reading. One by one, they each opened their own books again, grumbling the whole time. Hermione had to hide her smile behind her book.  
  
Three hours later, even Hermione couldn't keep going. James has his head down and was sleeping on a pile of books. Lily and Sirius were staring blearily ahead, not really seeing anything, and Remus and Hermione pushed their books far away from them.  
  
Seeing Hermione finally close her book, Sirius leaned over and shook James slightly.  
  
His head shot up. "I wasn't sleeping," he said a bit too loudly and they all laughed. James looked around. "What time is it?" He mumbled sleepily, noting the empty library.  
  
"It's nearly two o'clock," returned Lily.  
  
James groaned. "We have to be up in less than five hours."  
  
"We'll sleep in three days," said Hermione gathering her books together. The rest of them did the same and they all trudged sleepily to Gryffindor Tower. With barely a word of goodnight to each other, they went to their rooms and got into bed. They were all asleep almost immediately.  
  
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Hermione opened her eyes slowly and turned her head to look around her darkened room. The night sky was still inky black and she doubted she'd been asleep for more than a couple of hours. She turned and saw Lily still sleeping peacefully in her own bed and assumed her other roommates were asleep as well, though she couldn't tell because the curtains were drawn around their beds.  
  
She felt warm and comfortable tucked into her bed, but something had woken her up. She tried to remember if she had been dreaming, but couldn't recall. Feeling a sudden uneasiness, she pushed back her comforter and swung her legs off the bed. She reached under her bed, searching for her slippers and found them quickly. She slipped them on and padded noiselessly from the room.  
  
She wasn't sure what had woken her up, but now that she was up she felt a terrible sense of foreboding that she couldn't explain. She moved silently down the hallway of the girl's wing, listening, for what she wasn't sure. When she reached the balcony she looked down into the common room, but it was deserted and quiet, except for the familiar crackling of the fire.  
  
She was about to return to bed, chiding herself for being so silly when the portrait door suddenly swung open. Hermione quickly stepped back into the shadows to hide herself and watch. She was surprised to see Peter sneaking in.  
  
Hermione held her breath while she watched Peter silently steal up the boy's staircase and disappear. She sat staring into the empty common room wondering and worrying. Finally, she realized that staying up all night would not bring answers about Peter's evening excursion. She resolved to talk to Remus first thing in the morning before heading back to bed.  
  
When she returned to her room, she quickly got back into bed and tried to make herself comfortable. She was almost immediately jolted back up. She sat straight up in bed, her eyes wide and her mind alert. A quick glance to Lily showed that she was no longer imagining things. Lily sat up, stock still and pale, staring at Hermione.  
  
"What was that?" she asked in a worried whisper.  
  
Hermione shook her head. The noise was a clear low boom that seemed to reverberate around the room. She swore she had almost felt the tremor of it.  
  
The other girls in the room were opening their curtains and peeping out at Lily and Hermione. Immediately, Hermione jumped out of bed, grabbed her wand and Lily followed quickly.  
  
"What's going on?" asked one of their roommates sleepily.  
  
"We're trying to figure that out," said Lily creeping to the door. "Stay here," she commanded in her best Head Girl voice. She and Hermione moved as one into the hall. All along the hallway girls were popping their heads out of their rooms, talking in loud whispers.  
  
"Everybody, stay in your rooms," said Lily, loud enough to be heard over the din. Hermione admired Lily's commanding tone and authorative stance. She looked every bit like the Head Girl she was.  
  
A couple of the first and second years had worried looks on their faces. "Don't worry," said Lily in a gentler voice to them. "We'll go and see what that noise was; probably just the boy's playing pranks." The small girls smiled, feeling assured, and returned to their beds.  
  
"Do you think that's what that was?" whispered Hermione, as they headed downstairs.  
  
"If it is, I'll kill them," returned Lily. Hermione would have laughed if she wasn't so nervous.  
  
James had done a far worse job of calming the boys than Lily had done with the girls. He, Sirius, and Remus were hurrying down the boy's staircase with their wands held out, followed by a throng of boys. None of them were dressed, and Sirius was shirtless. They were all barefoot.  
  
Hermione noted immediately who wasn't there. "Where's Peter?" whispered Hermione to Remus.  
  
"Sleeping," said Remus. "He always could sleep through a tornado," he said snidely.  
  
Hermione's heart quickened. "I don't think he's sleeping. I saw him a few minutes before we heard that noise sneaking back into Gryffindor Tower."  
  
Remus looked at her with wide eyes. "You don't think he had something to do with..." Remus never finished his sentence. There was a second louder boom that echoed through Gryffindor Tower and this time no one could miss the noticeable tremor.  
  
"What the hell," exclaimed Sirius.  
  
"Whatever it was," began James nervously. "It came from out there. I think we better go see what's up." Remus, Sirius, Lily, and Hermione nodded. They instructed the boys to stay inside Gryffindor Tower and ventured out.  
  
They moved through the castle silently, listening intently. They began hearing shouts as they neared the first floor. "It's coming from the Great Hall," one of them observed and all five friends took off in a run, their wands held high. As they approached the Great Hall they were stopped by a sight that terrified each of them. Nearly twenty wizards dressed in black robes, all hooded, had turned the corner they were coming upon.  
  
Hermione's blood turned to ice in her veins. "No," she whispered in terror. She was frozen staring in disbelief.  
  
The wizards were as surprised to see the five students as the students were to see them. Sirius was the first to recover his wits. He jolted his friends back into action, pushing them back down the hall.  
  
They could hear the wizards scrambling to follow, and Hermione wondered briefly why they hadn't thrown any curses their way. They reached the staircase quickly enough and ascended it with a speed only young and in shape teenagers could have managed. As they reached the top of the staircase, Hermione turned and sent a well aimed Reducto curse at the top of the stairs, effectively blowing it to bits.  
  
"Good thinking," said Remus as they ran back to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"It won't hold them for long," returned Hermione. They reached Gryffindor Tower only to find that the second blast had managed to wake the rest of the boys and all of the girls up. The students, all in their night clothes, were gathered together in the common room, talking loudly, some crying, some just looking anxious. When they saw the seventh years, they rushed at the peppering them with questions.  
  
"Everybody shut up," yelled Sirius and then he turned his back on them and looked to his friends. "What do we do?" The boys all turned and looked at Hermione.  
  
"Don't look at me," said Hermione in a frenzied whisper. "None of this ever appeared in any history book I've read. Hogwarts was never attacked by Death Eaters."  
  
"What?" asked Lily in obvious confusion.  
  
"Never mind," said James quickly.  
  
"How could they have gotten in?" asked Sirius. "Hogwarts is supposed to be impenetrable."  
  
"We don't have time to worry about that," said Remus. "We have to protect the Gryffindor's. We have to find some way to get them safely out of the castle."  
  
"And go where?" asked Lily. "I think Gryffindor Tower is the safest place right now."  
  
"That portrait won't hold the Death Eaters forever," said Hermione. "And besides," she continued bitterly. "Peter's no doubt told them the password. Why didn't I go to Dumbledore when I had the chance?" lamented Hermione. "I should have known. This is all my fault."  
  
"We don't know that he's helping them," said Lily, but her voice lacked conviction. They had all been thinking the same thing as Hermione.  
  
"Hermione saw him sneaking into the common room before the first blast," Remus informed them. "But we can't worry about him now. We need a plan."  
  
"Okay," said Hermione thinking quickly. Coming up with a course of action had always been Harry's job, she merely figured out how to carry out his brilliant plans. It had been a while since she had longed for him and Ron, but right now she would have done anything to have them at her side. "First thing," she continued, forcefully pushing thoughts of them from her mind. "We need the map and probably the invisibility cloak."  
  
"I'll get them," said Sirius, already running to their room.  
  
"Let's get the students together," said Hermione. James and Lily immediately began calling everyone forward. Then they turned and waited for Hermione.  
  
She took a deep breath realizing she was going to have to take the lead. She cleared her throat. "It looks like Death Eaters have penetrated Hogwarts defenses," she said loudly and clearly. Immediately there were several loud cries of shock and several of the younger students began crying.  
  
"Please," said Hermione, raising her hands. "We will get out of this, but we have to work together." She bit her bottom lip, thinking. "Okay," she continued. "First we have to buddy up. I want sixth years paired with first years, fifth years with second years and third and fourth years together." Hermione was both please and emboldened when the students immediately moved to follow her instructions. "Okay," she said again. "Sirius," she called with relief when she saw him returning.  
  
"I've got the cloak," he said grimly. "But the map's gone. So is Peter."  
  
Hermione digested the news and stared at Remus. He returned her hopeless stare. He knew how bad the news was. Whoever had that map would be able to track their movements as long as they were in the castle.  
  
"This doesn't change anything," said Hermione. "We still have to get everyone out of the castle.  
  
"How?" asked one of the sixth years.  
  
"Hogsmeade," said Remus suddenly.  
  
Hermione's eyes lit up and she looked at him excitedly. "The secret passage?"  
  
"Exactly, we can get everyone out that way."  
  
"We'll have to hurry," interrupted James. "Once we leave the Tower they're sure to send someone after us, if they haven't already."  
  
"Hopefully," said Lily. "They're being kept busy downstairs and of course they'll have to find another way upstairs since Hermione blew the staircase to bits."  
  
"We have to take the chance," said Hermione. She turned back to the crowd of Gryffindors. "We're going to get everyone out of here." There was a murmur of alarm that went through the ranks. "I know you're scared. We all are. But we can't stay here. We're sitting ducks here. Besides, we have to raise the alarm. Who knows if anyone was able to before the attack?"  
  
"There's a secret passage into Honey Dukes," she continued. "Lily will lead you though it. Once you're in Hogsmeade you should be safe."  
  
Lily turned to Hermione fiercely. "As Head Girl," she began to protest.  
  
"It is your job to ensure the well being of the students," finished Hermione for her. "Someone has to go with them Lily."  
  
"Why can't we all go?" she asked.  
  
"Because the passageway will need to be destroyed once everyone is down. Otherwise, anyone could follow you."  
  
"What about the rest of the students? What about the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws and the Slytherins."  
  
"The Slytherins be damned," said Sirius under his breath.  
  
"There are other ways out. We'll do what we can," returned Hermione, ignoring Sirius.  
  
Lily stayed quiet, clearly disliking the idea of getting to safety while her boyfriend and best friends stayed behind, but she knew her duty.  
  
"What about us?" piped up James.  
  
"I need you to get into Dumbledore's office," said Hermione. "You're the only other person besides Lily who knows the password. The portraits in that room have duplicates at St. Mungo's and Ministry Headquarters. It's another way we can raise the alarm."  
  
"I'll go with him," offered Sirius."  
  
"No," said Hermione. "I need you and Remus with me. Lily's right. We have to make sure the rest of the student's are safe. All right, everyone knows what to do. And James, no unnecessary risks. Stay under the invisibility cloak. As soon as you send the alarm out, find a way to join Lily in Hogsmeade. She'll need you. Sirius, Remus, and I will follow as soon as we can."  
  
"Okay," agreed James. He took the cloak from Sirius and threw it over him. The portrait door opened and they all held their breath but no one was outside.  
  
"James," Lily called out desperately. "Be careful."  
  
"They'll never see me, Lil," James's voice called back from several feet away. "I'll see you in a little bit."  
  
Hermione saw her close her eyes and take a deep a breath. When she opened them again she was calm and collected. "Everybody be careful," commanded Lily. "Wands out and stick together." She led the Gryffindors out of the common room and toward the secret passage.  
  
Remus, Sirius, and Hermione followed them and helped all the Gryffindor's down the passage. Lily was the last to go. She looked at her friends.  
  
"Be careful," she begged.  
  
"You too," returned Hermione. "Send help."  
  
"I will, as soon as I can," she said before disappearing down the tunnel.  
  
Sirius stepped back and with a regretful sigh, aimed his wand at the statue of the one eye witch. "Reducto," he shouted and the one eyed witch crumbled before their eyes. "Now what?" he asked.  
  
Hermione didn't answer. She had a far off look in her eyes. Now that the Gryffindors were nearly safe, doubt and guilt began to assault her. Why were the Death Eaters here, now?  
  
They would never dare attack Hogwarts, not while Albus Dumbledore was Headmaster. Wasn't that what everyone had always said, that Hogwarts was the safest place in the wizarding world.  
  
"Hermione," said Remus forcefully, interrupting her thoughts.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Someone's coming this way," he said cocking his head slightly. "I can hear them. We have to go, now." Hermione and Sirius held their wands higher and quickly followed Remus as he moved away from the portrait.  
  
They tried to go as quietly as possibly, but it seemed the farther they went, the closer the footsteps got, until finally they could hear voices as well as footsteps. "She's heading north," said one voice. Remus, Sirius, and Hermione quickly moved around the corner. "She just went around that corner," said another voice.  
  
Remus and Hermione's eyes met. The Death Eaters were following her. "Run," she mouthed to Remus and Sirius and they took off. Sirius took the lead. He had spent more time roaming the castle than anybody else, other than James, and he knew all the short cuts and hidden passages. Though they all realized that they'd never be able to hide, not if the Death Eaters had the map. The best they could do was to lead them away from the others.  
  
They ended up in an empty classroom in the southern most part of the castle, heaving for breath. Hermione raised her wand and aimed it at the door. "Colloportus," she gasped out.  
  
Within seconds they could hear the sound of Death Eaters on the other side of the door, cursing.  
  
"I don't know... how long... that will hold them," said Hermione, breathing heavily.  
  
"Just need a minute," Sirius assured her. He went to one of the windows, heaved it open, and leaned out. "Accio broom," he shouted. In no time at all his broom came flying toward the open window.  
  
Remus smiled broadly. "Great thinking Padfoot." He leaned out the window and shouted, "Accio broom," and like Sirius's had a moment ago, his broom came hurtling toward the window.  
  
Sirius eased himself onto his broom and hovered just outside the window. Remus quickly followed. Then he turned back and held his hand out for Hermione. She hesitated for only a fraction of a second, but that was all the time the Death Eaters needed to break the spell on the door and charge into the room. They aimed their wands at Sirius, Remus, and Hermione and sent stunners at them.  
  
Sirius's quidditch training immediately kicked in and he avoided the stunners easily enough. Remus pulled up hard and felt the spell narrowly miss him from below. Hermione, who had her back to the door and the Death Eaters, was hit by at least three stunners. She flew against the wall and hit it with a sickening crack. She lay on the floor, unconscious and bleeding, but alive.  
  
Remus and Sirius didn't think twice, they flattened themselves to their brooms and flew through the open classroom window. Seeing two blurs nearing them at great speeds caused confusion among the Death Eaters and instead of throwing curses at the approaching objects, they dove for cover.  
  
Continuing to fly in the enclosed space of the room was next to impossible. There was no room to maneuver. Remus used the seconds they had bought by their entry to jump off his broom and run to Hermione. Blood was running down the side of her face, but to his great relief he could see that she was still breathing.  
  
While Remus hurriedly tended to Hermione, Sirius kept the Death Eater's, there were five of them, occupied as best he could. He dove in and out of them trying to draw their fire.  
  
Eventually, one Death Eater aimed a spell at Sirius, but instead of hitting him, it hit the back of his broom. Sirius continued flying, though his trusty broom had deserted him. He landed on the floor and swore he heard the bone in his arm break as much as he felt it.  
  
Seeing his friend fall and knowing nothing stood between them and capture but his own wand, Remus held it out and aimed, but he wasn't fast enough. One of the Death Eaters aimed a spell at him. Remus ducked and the spell hit the wall behind him. He watched in horror as chunks of the wall broke free and began to fall. He threw himself over Hermione before the wall covered them both. 


	26. Chapter 26

"You idiot," cried one of the Death Eaters.  
  
Sirius fought against all his instincts to get up and rush over to his fallen friends. He was in no shape to take on five Death Eaters by himself. He forced himself to remain perfectly still, hoping his moment would come.  
  
The Death Eaters moved toward Remus and Hermione who were partially covered by the fallen stone wall. "They weren't supposed to be hurt," said another Death Eater. "We were supposed to capture them and bring them to the Dark Lord." They began shifting the stones off Remus and Hermione, slowly extricating them.  
  
Sirius watched, lying as still as he could and gritting his teeth against the pain in his arm. Just as they had nearly removed all the stones, the Death Eaters all grabbed their forearms in unison. They gave each other quick looks and then hurried from the room.  
  
Sirius waited for a few seconds before sitting up. He stood slowly and stumbled over to Remus and Hermione. He did his best to remove the few remaining stones. Remus was covering Hermione so Sirius couldn't see her.  
  
Sirius gave an anguished cry. He wasn't sure whether he should move Remus or not, but in their current positions, he couldn't tell how badly either of them were hurt.  
  
Finally, he took a deep breath and rolled Remus off Hermione. To his relief he could see that Remus was breathing. He surveyed his body and noted the odd angle his leg was in. It was definitely broken and badly at that. He checked to see if Remus was bleeding anywhere and was relieved not to find any blood.  
  
Once he was sure Remus was positioned comfortably he turned his attention to Hermione. There was blood on the side of her face and she was covered in dust. Sirius ran his hand through her hair gently. "Hermione," he choked out. He leaned the side of his face over her mouth and was thrilled to feel her soft breath against his cheek.  
  
He pulled out his wand and whispered, "Enervate," then he waited. "Hermione, wake up," he begged in a weak voice. "Please wake up."  
  
Hermione coughed and then winced at the pain in her side. She opened her eyes slowly. She could see Sirius over her.  
  
"Oh thank God," he said, breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
"What happened?" she asked groggily. She tried to sit up, but found the pain was too intense and lay back down weakly.  
  
"Death Eater's attacked us," said Sirius. "The wall behind you fell. If it wasn't for Remus," he trailed off.  
  
"Remus," said Hermione faintly. "Is he okay?"  
  
"He's over there," said Sirius softly.  
  
Hermione turned her head to her left to see the love of her life lying a few feet away from her, pale and still. Seeing him so still gave her the extra bit of energy she needed to pull herself up and crawl over to him. Sirius followed her slowly, cradling his right arm all the while.  
  
"Remus," she whispered. She put her head down on his chest to listen. She could feel his heart beating reassuringly against her cheek. She looked up into his face and placed her hand against his face. She fumbled for her wand and raised it to revive him.  
  
"I wouldn't do that," said Sirius quickly.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
Sirius pointed at his leg with a grimace. Hermione looked. It was bent at an odd angle, clearly broken. "He's going to be in a lot of pain if we wake him," said Sirius. "And he won't be able to walk."  
  
"We have to go get help," said Hermione weakly.  
  
Sirius nodded in agreement.  
  
"What happened to the Death Eaters?" she asked.  
  
"I'm not sure. I was pretending to be out of it, waiting for the right time to attack. They didn't seem too concerned about me. After that wall fell on top of the two of you, they started to dig you out. A few of them seemed angry at the one who threw the curse. They said we weren't supposed to be hurt. Then all of a sudden they all clutched their arms and then hurried out of the room. Once they were gone, I got up and finished digging you guys out. I was so sure..." he trailed off, not able to finish the sentence. He had been sure he was going to find that they had both been killed.  
  
"They clutched their arms?" repeated Hermione in question.  
  
Sirius nodded. "Why? What does it mean?"  
  
"It's the mark. When Voldemort wants to summon them it burns black against their arms. They're supposed to apparate to him immediately. Of course, they can't apparate in Hogwarts, but I imagine they had a prearranged place to meet if he called them."  
  
"What do you think that means?" asked Sirius.  
  
"I don't know," replied Hermione. "But I don't think it's good." She struggled to her feet, wincing and doubling over against the pain.  
  
"What?" asked Sirius, his voice full of worry.  
  
"I think I cracked a couple of ribs," panted Hermione. "At least I hope that's all I did."  
  
"Maybe you ought to stay here with Remus, while I get help," suggested Sirius.  
  
"As I much as I hate to leave him, I think we have to," she responded. "Your arm's obviously broken. How are you going to defend yourself if you meet up with any Death Eaters? We have to get him help. Besides, I'll seal the door behind us. He should be okay for a few minutes."  
  
"All right, let's go," said Sirius quickly.  
  
They moved outside and Hermione quickly sealed Remus in the room. She lingered for a moment, not certain that she was doing the right thing. Sirius placed his good hand on her shoulder. "He'll be okay. We'll be right back. Let's head to the hospital wing. Hopefully someone will be there."  
  
"And if they're not?"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "We'll do what we can for him."  
  
They moved stealthily through the castle. It was eerily quiet. Every step was agony for Hermione. Sirius watched her carefully. "Are you okay?" he asked.  
  
She nodded. Speech would have required too much energy. They made it to the hospital wing without being stopped, but no one was there. They were about to leave when they heard voices in the hallway. Sirius pulled Hermione back quickly and into one of the potions closets, it was just big enough for the two of them. Hermione had to bite back the cry of pain threatening to burst from her lips.  
  
"The Dark Lord said the girl was still in the castle," one man said.  
  
"How can he be so sure, that boy in Dumbledore's office destroyed the map," responded the other man.  
  
"Because she wasn't among the students we're holding in Hogsmeade," returned the first man.  
  
"How does he know those kids aren't protecting her? She could be right there under his nose."  
  
"You and I both know how persuasive the Dark Lord can be. Trust me, she's not there."  
  
Hermione and Sirius listened in horror. The boy in Dumbledore's office could have only been James and the Gryffindors had been caught in Hogsmeade. Hermione thought she was going to be sick. She had sent all her friends straight into traps. She clung to Sirius, burying her face in his shoulder to prevent herself from crying out. He put his good arm around her lightly, trying to comfort her.  
  
"So then he expects us to search the castle. That Granger girl could be anywhere. And besides, what makes her so important. She's just a student. Why has the Dark Lord become so fixated with her?"  
  
Sirius gripped Hermione tighter and she gasped in pain. They froze and waited, but apparently the Death Eaters hadn't heard them because they continued their conversation.  
  
"That little Pettigrew boy has led the Dark Lord to believe that she might be more than just a student. It seems she has information on who his followers are and what his plans will be."  
  
The other Death Eater laughed derisively. "So now we're relying on information from kids?"  
  
"Don't forget, it was Pettigrew who provided The Dark Lord with the map. We would have never been able to plan such an effective attack on the castle without it. Besides, the other students in the Dark Lords employ confirmed that the girl did arrive rather suspiciously at Hogwarts and our own efforts to discover any information on her came up with nothing. I doubt her name is even Hermione Granger."  
  
"I wouldn't call the attack effective yet. Dumbledore's still out there. I won't be easy until the Dark Lord's dealt with him."  
  
"Dumbledore's gone," said the first Death Eater arrogantly. "He ran as soon as he saw our number."  
  
"Fool," spat the second Death Eater. They continued their conversation, but Sirius and Hermione could no longer hear them because they were moving away.  
  
Sirius opened the closet door slowly and helped Hermione out.  
  
"They've got James and Lily," whispered Hermione.  
  
"I know," said Sirius with a large frown on his face, "and the rest of the Gryffindors too."  
  
"We have to help them," said Hermione. She was beginning to panic. What had Voldemort done to James once he destroyed the map? What was he doing to Lily right now? As Hermione considered all that could have or could be happening to Harry's parents she began to hyperventilate. She had wanted to save them, what if she had cut their lives even shorter.  
  
"I know," repeated Sirius, rubbing his head thoughtfully. Sirius paced for a few seconds before turning back to Hermione. She was as pale as she had been that night they had pulled her from the lake. She swayed where she stood and Sirius rushed forward, holding her up.  
  
"Hermione, you've got to keep it together. They need us, all of them."  
  
"What if they're de..." began Hermione mournfully.  
  
"Don't say it," admonished Sirius. "They're not. We're going to save them. But I need you. You can't give up on me now."  
  
"But it's all my fault. You heard them. They're after me. They don't want the rest of you. They want me. Oh, I wish I'd never come back."  
  
Sirius watched her helplessly. Then he dragged her over to a chair and forced her to sit to down. Once she was sitting, he strode over to the potions closet and rummaged through the many potions Madame Pomphrey kept in stock. He pulled out the Skele-Gro and popped it open, before downing half the bottle.  
  
"What are you doing," yelled Hermione. "You can't take that much potion."  
  
"I don't have time to take the small dose and wait overnight. I need the use of my arm now."  
  
"It's dangerous to take that much," said Hermione.  
  
Sirius was about to reply. But a sharp pain coursed through his arm so strong, he cried out. Hermione jumped up and ran over to him, giving him her hand to squeeze, which he did until she was sure she would need to Skele-Gro to mend her own fingers. It was nearly a full minute before the pain subsided. When the sharpness finally eased itself into a dull ache, Sirius took a slow deep breath. Then he handed the rest of the Skele-Gro to Hermione.  
  
She looked at him doubtfully, but accepted the potion and drank it down without hesitation. She coughed at its bitterness and waited. She wasn't disappointed. The pain hit her like a knife in her chest and she doubled over. Sirius held her as tears leaked from tightly closed eyes.  
  
When it was finally over, she gave Sirius a scathing look. "Feeling better," he asked cheekily. She narrowed her eyes at him and he quickly got up. He went to the potions closet and pulled out another bottle of the Skele-Gro. "I think we ought to invite Remus to join the fun," he said waving the bottle at Hermione. She nodded and jumped up, wincing at the soreness in her side.  
  
They hurried back to Remus, who was still out of it. "I think we should set the leg first," said Sirius grimly.  
  
Hermione nodded slowly. She looked around the room for something to use as a splint. The first thing her eye landed on was one of the boy's brooms. She picked it up and went over to the large desk at the front of the classroom. She brought the broom down hard, effectively splitting it in two.  
  
She hurried back to Sirius who had just finished straightening Remus's leg. He stared at her in horror. "That better not have been my broom."  
  
She rolled her eyes and strapped the broom handle to Remus's leg. "Better wake him up now," said Hermione to herself. She raised her wand and muttered, "Enervate."  
  
Remus's eyes fluttered open and his face immediately contorted in pain. "Shh," said Hermione softly. She ran her hand over his forehead. "I'm here and you're going to be okay."  
  
"What happened," he croaked out.  
  
"That wall over there fell on you," said Sirius. "Your leg's broken."  
  
He nodded. "You didn't have to tell me that," he said weakly. He looked up into Hermione's concerned eyes. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes," she replied softly. "I'm fine, thanks to you."  
  
"Remus, we need you to take this potion," said Sirius, interrupting their tender moment. Hermione took the potion from him.  
  
"What is it?" asked Remus.  
  
"It's Skele-Gro," explained Hermione. "You need to take about half the bottle."  
  
Remus looked at her skeptically. "Do you know how dangerous that is?" he asked.  
  
She nodded. "Sirius and I have already done it. It's painful beyond all belief, but it mended our bones."  
  
Remus allowed Hermione to help him into a sitting position. She brought the potion to his mouth and he drank it down. Then she put her arms around him and he held on to her tightly. His leg felt like it was on fire, but he rode out the pain.  
  
"Do you think you can stand up," Sirius asked after several minutes. Remus nodded and let both Hermione and Sirius help him up. He tested his weight on the leg, but found he couldn't yet stand unassisted.  
  
"We'll help you," said Hermione. "But we have to hurry."  
  
"Why?" asked Remus. Sirius and Hermione exchanged a look. "What is it?" he asked.  
  
"Voldemort has James and Lily and the rest of the Gryffindors," said Sirius quietly.  
  
Remus took in the news. "What about our teachers?" he asked.  
  
"We don't know," replied Hermione.  
  
"Dumbledore?"  
  
"We overheard two Death Eaters saying he was gone," replied Sirius.  
  
"That can't be," said Remus. "He'd never abandon us."  
  
"We don't think so either," said Sirius. "But all the same, I don't think we can count on him to rescue them. We don't know if he even knows they've been captured."  
  
"Then we'll have to do it ourselves," said Remus resolutely.  
  
"We do know one thing," said Hermione. "James somehow managed to destroy the map, so we can't be tracked through the castle."  
  
"Yeah, but we destroyed our only way into Hogsmeade," said Sirius.  
  
"Not our only way," argued Remus. He and Sirius exchanged a knowing look. "We'll have to be careful. We'd be out in the open all the way to the Whomping Willow."  
  
"We can make it," said Hermione, excited that they finally had a plan.  
  
"Let's not waste any time then," said Sirius. He ducked his head under one of Remus's arms and Hermione did the same on the other side and then the three of them crept out into the hallway.  
  
They made it to the front entrance of the castle without being seen, though it seemed that they nearly ran into about two dozen Death Eaters. They were horrified by the state of the first floor. There were holes knocked into the walls and it was emptier than any of them had ever seen it. Even the air felt too still. Hermione felt like its very magic was being drained away.  
  
"Come on," Sirius urged them quietly. They moved as silently as possible to the Whomping Willow. "Stay here," Sirius commanded. He darted in and out of the tree's swinging branches and stabbed the notch at the base of it. Once the tree was frozen, Hermione helped Remus forward. They slid down into it and made their way up to the Shrieking Shack.  
  
They watched the village from one of the windows and could see two Death Eaters standing outside Honeydukes.  
  
"What do you think?" asked Sirius.  
  
Remus shrugged. "There's got to be more, somewhere, inside maybe."  
  
"But not too many more," added Hermione. "I think most of them are in the castle looking for me."  
  
"What?" hissed Remus.  
  
Hermione and Sirius exchanged a worried look.  
  
"Why do you think they're looking for you?" asked Remus.  
  
"We overheard some of them talking," confessed Hermione. "It seems that Peter's led Voldemort to believe that I'm a spy or something."  
  
"Who knows what's been going on in that idiot's head," added Sirius.  
  
"You can't go out there, then," said Remus to Hermione.  
  
"I have to," protested Hermione. "James and Lily need me. I have to make sure they're okay."  
  
"There's no telling what Voldemort will do to you if he finds you," said Remus fiercely.  
  
Sirius gaped at him and even Hermione's eyes went wide. Remus had never said Voldemort's name before. None of them ever had except Hermione. She felt an unexplained surge of pride course through her and suddenly the fear that she had been feeling began to dissipate. Hermione kissed him solidly, beaming at him. He looked perplexed, but pleased.  
  
Not to be outdone, Sirius added. "Hermione's not afraid of V... Vol... Voldemort." He took a deep breath. "And neither am I." Hermione smiled warmly at Sirius and kissed him on the cheek. Sirius blushed, coughed and then cleared his throat. "We need a plan," he said staring at his feet.  
  
Remus and Hermione nodded in agreement and waited. Sirius sighed. "Well, I suppose they're being held in Honeydukes. We're going to have to get in there somehow. I think we can take care of those two goons out front."  
  
"We have the element of surprise," said Hermione. "We could just go in with our wands out and hope for the best. Voldemort is so cocky. He might not have many Death Eaters by his side. He might not think it's necessary against a bunch of teenagers."  
  
"It's dangerous," said Remus softly. "But it might be our only hope."  
  
"Okay," said Sirius, pulling out his wand. "Let's do it." He went to go help Remus again, but Remus shook his head. He took a few unsteady steps by himself and tried not to show any outward signs of discomfort. He was limping noticeably, but was able to walk without help. Both he and Hermione had their wands out as they followed Sirius out of the Shrieking Shack.  
  
From the protection of a group of trees Remus and Sirius aimed their wands at the two Death Eaters and stunned them. They fell soundlessly and the three friends crept closer to Honeydukes.  
  
They peered into one of the windows and could see the Gryffindors all sitting on the floor of the sweet shop. They could also see a bunch of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and even a handful of Slytherins in their midst.  
  
"It looks like they're bringing the students here," commented Sirius. "But I don't see James."  
  
"Or Lily," added Hermione.  
  
Remus made a funny noise in the back of his throat. "What?" whispered Hermione.  
  
"There they are," said Remus shallowly.  
  
Hermione watched as a tall imposing figure came into view. He had a hold of James. James looked pale, but defiant. "I still don't see Lily," said Hermione, nearly crying.  
  
"Look down," whispered Remus.  
  
Hermione glanced at Voldemort's feet and could see a slim figure with auburn hair lying very still. "Oh, Lily," she gasped. A fierce anger came over her and she gripped her wand tightly, sending tiny red sparks out of it. She moved away from the window, but Sirius caught her arm.  
  
"There are at least four Death Eaters in there, plus Vol... Voldemort," said Sirius. "We have to be fast and accurate."  
  
"Don't worry," said Hermione coldly. "I won't miss." They moved stealthily to the front door.  
  
"Ready," mouthed Sirius. Hermione and Remus nodded, holding their wands high. Without another word, they burst into Honeydukes and sent their curses flying. The Death Eaters were so shocked that they didn't manage to throw a single curse. The students were yelling and there was total pandemonium within the small confines of the sweet shop.  
  
When the noise level seemed to die down a bit, Hermione looked around to see if they had gotten them all. She whirled around at the sound of a low rumbling laugh.  
  
In all her years she had never been face to face with Lord Voldemort. Harry had done it, too many times, and he had told her what it had been like, but nothing he had said had really prepared her.  
  
Voldemort was tall and imposing. He wore a smile that was something between a smirk and a leering grin. His face was nothing like Harry had described. It was smooth and almost too normal looking. Harry had described a pinched, snakelike face. But this was a Voldemort at the height of his power, before he had been vanquished by a mere baby.

Standing beside him, or to be more accurate, being held up beside him was James. There was blood coming out of the side of his mouth and he was breathing heavily. To Hermione, it was like seeing Harry at his mercy, and it filled her with rage.  
  
"Let him go," she said fiercely.  
  
Voldemort laughed again. "Hermione Granger, I presume. Yes, I can see that Wormtail was right. You are much too powerful a witch to be a mere student." He surveyed his fallen Death Eaters, before flinging James to the floor. He fell next to Lily and crawled over to check her. James ran his hand over her hair, but she didn't move. Hermione's eyes went from James back up to Voldemort defiantly.  
  
"You leave them alone," she said shakily. Every ounce of her was filled with fright, but she was determined not to show her fear, much. She felt Remus and Sirius move next to her and felt bolstered by their support, even though she could feel them shaking.  
  
Voldemort gave her a penetrating stare, before his gaze traveled to her left where Sirius was standing. Hermione could see the recognition in his eyes and felt Sirius stiffen next to him. "I think I knew your brother, boy," mocked Voldemort.  
  
Before she could stop him, Sirius whipped out his wand and aimed it at Voldemort and the next thing she knew, Sirius was thrown off his feet and hit the wall behind her. Remus grabbed Hermione and pulled her behind him. They both had their wands out and pointed at Voldemort, little good it did them. Voldemort turned and before they were prepared he had them both in a body bind curse.  
  
The rest of the students whimpered from where they sat. They were all powerless without their wands and most were immobilized by their fear. Voldemort quickly revived his followers and commanded one of them to pick Hermione up. She felt herself being lifted, but could do nothing to stop them as they carried her out of Honeydukes.

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A/N: That was a very quick update, don't you all think? I think I deserve a reward. All the wonderful reviews you guys wrote inspired me to write more. I have the next two chapters all planned out so hopefully, if time permits, I will be able to keep doing these quick updates. Believe me, I love writing this story as much as you guys like reading it.


	27. Chapter 27

The sun was rising now and Hogsmeade was all orange and pink. It was a beautiful morning that promised to turn into a beautiful day.  
  
But Hermione couldn't see the beautiful sunrise. She couldn't see much of anything from her position. She had never felt more helpless in all her life as the Death Eater picked her up and carried her out of Honeydukes. The early morning had been full of terrors, but this was the ultimate.  
  
"Tom, stop," a voice commanded as they entered the morning air. Hermione's heart soared and she began to feel the first glimmers of hope. It was Dumbledore. "Tell them to put her down, Tom."  
  
Hermione could feel herself slowly being lowered.  
  
"Keep hold of her, Stebbins," commanded Voldemort. Hermione was immediately held tighter.  
  
"You are outnumbered, Tom. It's over," said Dumbledore. "Now release my student." Hermione couldn't see much from her position, but she could hear and it did indeed sound as if there were many people around.  
  
"But she's not a student, is she, Dumbledore," goaded Voldemort.  
  
"Despite what you've heard, Hermione is only a seventeen year old girl. She transferred from Beaubaxton and is completely innocent. Don't make your situation worse than it is by harming her."  
  
"I think you're lying," snarled Voldemort and the next thing Hermione knew she was falling to the ground. She hit hard, but still couldn't move. She could hear the sounds of people yelling curses and there was so much commotion. Then she felt herself being pulled. She tried to scream, but couldn't.  
  
Someone had their arms around her and was dragging her away from the fight. She found herself pulled all the way back into Honeydukes. "Enervate," said a weak voice.  
  
Hermione immediately felt her body relax and was relieved to find she could move again. She sat up to see it was James who had pulled her back into Honeydukes. He looked so pale and tired.  
  
"Are you okay," he asked softly.  
  
She nodded. "What about you?"  
  
"Fine," he said, with that same confident attitude he always had, but Hermione could see that there was fear in his eyes and pain.  
  
Hermione brought her hand up to his face. "James, did they hurt you?" she asked quietly.  
  
He shook his head. "You know they couldn't hurt me," he replied with a small smile.  
  
"What about everybody else?" she asked.  
  
"Come on, see for yourself." James helped Hermione up and the two of them leaned on each other as they made their way to the back of the store.  
  
Hermione glanced back at the front door. She could still hear the noise from outside, but she knew now that Dumbledore had arrived that the battle would be short lived. For the first time since she woke up early that morning, she felt almost safe.  
  
She saw Sirius, Remus, and Lily across the room and went to them quickly. Sirius and Lily were lying on the floor, while Remus tended them. When Hermione and James reached them, they dropped to their knees.  
  
James took Lily's head and laid it in his lap, stroking her hair and cheek. She smiled up at him, though it was obvious she was in pain. Remus and Hermione hugged each other tightly.  
  
"I was so afraid," she confessed in his ear.  
  
"I know. Me too," he replied fervently.  
  
She released him and looked down at Sirius. He was smiling up at her. "Hey you," she said softly.  
  
"Hey you back," he replied weakly.  
  
"That last stunner really took it out of you," commented Hermione. He raised his eyebrows at her, but didn't respond. She ran a hand over his forehead. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I hurt all over," he groaned.  
  
"I'll bet," she laughed sympathetically. She was about to continue, but was interrupted by a strangled groan. Hermione turned to see Lily's face contorted with pain. Tears were running down her cheeks and she had a grip on James's hand.  
  
"What happened to her," asked Hermione, moving closer. Remus was helping Sirius sit up.  
  
"Voldemort used the Cruciatus curse against her," said James, choking back tears.  
  
"Oh God," breathed Hermione. "Lily, where does it hurt?"  
  
"Oh just everywhere," she said pitifully.  
  
Hermione could see James shaking with pent up rage. She looked at him questioningly.  
  
"He was trying to get her to tell him where you were," said James quietly, avoiding Hermione's eyes. "She wouldn't tell him anything," he said proudly.  
  
"Hermione, why does he want you?" asked Lily weakly. "Who are you, really? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Shh," soothed James. "Don't try to talk, love. I'm here. You're fine now."  
  
Lily's eyes fluttered close, but she maintained a firm grasp on James's hand. Hermione watched her guiltily for a few seconds before standing up. Remus joined her as she went to check on the rest of the students. For the most part, they were all okay, just scared and tired. A few of them were sporting cuts and bruises, but nothing more serious.  
  
As Remus and Hermione were checking the students the door to Honeydukes opened. They whirled around, clutching their wands tightly, but it was only Professor McGonagall and some of the other teachers. They quickly dispersed amongst the students to check on them. Hermione and Remus approached Professor McGonagall.  
  
"It's all over," she told them grimly.  
  
"Voldemort?" asked Hermione without hope.  
  
Professor McGonagall shook her head. "He got away. Professor Dumbledore wants you to return to the castle immediately."  
  
"We should help the rest of the students," said Hermione.  
  
"We'll take care of them, Miss Granger," said the Professor.  
  
Hermione turned back to where she had left James, Lily, and Sirius. Both Lily and Sirius were being magically transported out of Honeydukes on stretchers. James was still holding Lily's hand as he followed the floating stretcher out and Sirius was complaining that he could walk.  
  
Seeing that her friends were being cared for, Hermione didn't offer any more objections to returning to the castle.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore wants you to go to his office and wait for him," said Professor McGonagall as Hermione and Remus left. "The password is Lemon Drops."  
  
They nodded in acknowledgment and proceeded to the castle.  
  
Once upstairs, Remus forced Hermione to sit on one of the empty chairs in Dumbledore's office. He pulled out his wand and conjured a wet cloth that he immediately pressed to the side of her forehead. She winced when he made contact.  
  
"Sorry," he murmured. "But that cut is ugly. It's going to leave a nasty bruise."  
  
"I didn't realize," she said as he wiped the cloth over her forehead and down her cheek, cleaning the blood from her face. When he was done, he kissed the tip of her nose, sweetly. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too," she returned earnestly.  
  
"I've never felt as helpless in all my life as I felt today. When they took you..." he trailed off.  
  
"Don't think about it," said Hermione, putting her arms around him. They held each other tightly, trying to push the fear that still lingered on them away.  
  
"I didn't know what it would be like," whispered Hermione. "He never told me what it really felt like."  
  
"What?" asked Remus softly.  
  
"Harry never told me what it felt like to face Voldemort, to know you were that close to dying." Remus held her tighter as he felt her begin to shake. "All the times he must have felt that way and he never told us." Tears formed in her eyes and fell down her cheeks. "I wanted to kill him, Remus," she continued, her tone changing suddenly.  
  
"I know," he replied. "We all did."  
  
"He deserves to die," said Hermione fiercely. "And I'm going to make sure he does, no matter how long it takes me."  
  
"Hermione," began Remus, suddenly nervous. "I don't want you getting any bright ideas. We had a rough morning, and we're all angry and scared. Promise me you'll never do anything without telling me first."  
  
She didn't respond right away.  
  
"Promise me," he demanded, gripping her arms a little tighter.  
  
"All right," she returned weakly. "I promise." They sat in silence for several more minutes before Dumbledore arrived.  
  
"Are you two okay?" he asked immediately.  
  
"Yes sir," they replied in unison. Dumbledore approached Hermione and examined her forehead. Then he waved his wand over the wound, healing it.  
  
"Thank you," said Hermione, touching her head gingerly.  
  
"Voldemort is gone," said Dumbledore, standing over them. "And I don't imagine he'll be back any time soon."  
  
"He'll be back," said Hermione. "Trust me. He won't stop until he's destroyed us all."  
  
Dumbledore sighed. "I've just sent word to several witches and wizards I know, people who can be trusted. We'll be convening in a few days here at Hogwarts for the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. I trust I can count on you and Remus to attend."  
  
Hermione glanced from Remus back to Dumbledore, her heart soaring. "Yes," she breathed happily. "Of course, and James and Sirius and Lily too, right?"  
  
"Yes," confirmed Dumbledore. "You've proven today that you're ready. I think you've been ready for a while now. I just hoped that you'd all have more time to be children, before..."  
  
"I don't think any of us will ever be children again," said Hermione softly.  
  
Nobody spoke for a little while.  
  
"Sir," began Remus after a few minutes. "Were many people hurt?"  
  
"A few," he replied.  
  
"Was anyone killed," asked Hermione.  
  
"No," said Dumbledore. "We were fortunate today. Next time I don't think we'll be so lucky."  
  
Hermione nodded in agreement. "Professor, may we go and see our friends now?"  
  
"I'm afraid not," returned Dumbledore. "There's something we need to discuss."  
  
"What?" asked Hermione curiously.  
  
"There are things you need to know about the gateway. Things you didn't want to hear when we last spoke."  
  
"No," said Hermione loudly. "I don't want to know anything else about that damn gateway. I'm doing everything I can to help, isn't that enough for you."  
  
"Of course it is," said Dumbledore sympathetically. "But you deserve to know everything, even if you're afraid to hear it."  
  
Hermione looked to Remus for help, but he was staring at Dumbledore curiously. Hermione returned her gaze to Dumbledore and nodded, almost imperceptibly.  
  
"The gateway," Dumbledore continued, "is a more sophisticated way of time travel. It was constructed by the founders of Hogwarts long before the invention of time turners. Time turners can be used to jump short distances. The Gateway was designed to be used over greater time distances."  
  
"Yes, I know that," said Hermione impatiently.  
  
Dumbledore smiled tolerantly. "Forgive me, Miss Granger. You will see that as you get older you tend to repeat things."  
  
Hermione bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry," she said contritely. "Please continue."  
  
"The gateway," said Dumbledore, hurrying on. "As we told you, will reappear only when you've completed your intended task and then you will have a choice."  
  
"A choice? What kind of choice?" asked Hermione, suddenly very curious.  
  
"You will have to decide whether or not to go through the gateway."  
  
"You mean I'll be able to choose whether I can go home or not?"  
  
"Yes, you will," returned Dumbledore. "It could be years before the gateway appears or mere days. We just don't know. You can't be expected to put your life on hold, waiting for it. There may be a time when you will want to remain here more than you want to go home."  
  
Hermione nodded absently, taking all the information in. "What will happen if I choose to go back? I've put a lot of thought into this and my world will be very different if I ever do get back. I sometimes wonder if I'll be able to recognize anything."  
  
"That's the catch, Miss Granger," said Dumbledore. "If you go back through the gateway you will reintegrate into your time. We will all remember you being here, but you won't. You'll continue your life as if your jump back in time had never happened."  
  
Hermione gasped. "You can't be serious. You mean I won't remember..." she trailed off and looked at Remus and saw the same look of horror she felt reflected in his eyes.  
  
"It's powerful magic, designed to protect you," explained Dumbledore.  
  
"I just always assumed that if I ever did go back I'd at least be able to pick things up where I had left them." She blushed as she said this. It was that thought that had allowed her to leave Remus that morning. As selfish as it was, she was only able to leave because she knew her Remus would be there on the other side, waiting for her. "How can I be expected to make a choice like this?"  
  
"You were chosen because you can make that choice," said Dumbledore firmly.  
  
"It isn't fair," she said bitterly. "I don't know if I can take any more," she said weakly.  
  
Dumbledore smiled kindly. "I know you're tired."  
  
"Sir," interrupted Remus. "Don't you think we could continue this later?" He had been watching Hermione carefully and could see how tired she was.  
  
"Yes," said Dumbledore. "You're right, Remus. You know," he said thoughtfully. "There aren't many who could have defied Voldemort the way you five did today. I'm very proud of all of you and you've earned a rest."  
  
An odd shiver went through Hermione at Dumbledore's words, but her mind was almost entirely on her friends in the hospital wing and she didn't pay any attention to the peculiar feeling.  
  
"Why don't the three of us head down to the hospital wing to check on the others? And Madame Pomphrey can check on you two as well," said Dumbledore.  
  
Hermione smiled gratefully and stood. She and Remus followed Dumbledore out of his office all the way to the hospital wing. It was full and Madame Pomphrey was bustling around from bed to bed. Dumbledore went to speak with her, leaving Remus and Hermione to their friends.  
  
Lily was asleep, but James and Sirius were both awake and talking quietly to each other.  
  
"Hey you two," said Hermione as they approached.  
  
"Hey," they returned. "Where've you been?"  
  
"Dumbledore's office," said Remus. "He wanted to talk to Hermione."  
  
"Everything okay?" asked Sirius.  
  
She nodded. "How about you two?"  
  
"We're fine," said Sirius easily.  
  
"Yeah," agreed James. "It'll take a whole lot more than that to take us down."  
  
"How's Lily?" asked Remus softly.  
  
"She's going to be okay," said James. "Madame Pomphrey gave her something to sleep and a whole bunch of other potions. Sirius filled me in on what happened to you guys and I was just about to let him know what happened on our end."  
  
Remus pulled over two chairs for Hermione and himself and they settled themselves for the story.  
  
"I managed to get all the way to Dumbledore's office without getting caught," began James. "But then I had to take off the cloak to talk to the portraits. I let them know what was going on and they went straight to their portraits at the Ministry and St. Mungo's. Then I was about to join Lily in Hogsmeade like we said when I heard voices. Well, I threw the cloak back on as quickly as I could and waited. I figured if it was Dumbledore, I would just show myself and if it was anyone else I'd hide."  
  
"Who was it?" asked Remus eagerly.  
  
"It was Voldemort," said James grimly and Hermione smiled. "I was shocked and then I saw that he had the map. They were using it to track everyone's movements."  
  
"Is that when you destroyed it?" asked Sirius, clearly impressed that his best friend had faced Voldemort alone.  
  
James nodded. "It was a wrench doing it too."  
  
"What happened next?" asked Hermione breathlessly.  
  
"They grabbed me," continued James. "I tried to fight them off, but there were too many of them. I don't know why Voldemort didn't just kill me then and there. I half expected him to. They were talking but I couldn't hear what they were saying. Then they brought me to Honeydukes." James stopped talking and looked pained.  
  
"What happened in Honeydukes?" asked Hermione quietly.  
  
"I tried to stop them, but I couldn't," said James and tears began to form at the corner of his eyes.  
  
Hermione got up and sat on the edge of his bed. She gazed into the face she loved so dearly. 'Dark eyes, not green,' she reminded herself. "It's not your fault, James," said Hermione firmly.  
  
"They wanted her to tell them where you were," he choked out. "They used the Cruciatus curse against her. She was screaming, but she wouldn't tell."  
  
Hermione started crying as James began to relate what happened.  
  
"I was begging them to stop. I tried to get to her, but I couldn't. They wouldn't stop."  
  
"It's okay," said Hermione, cutting him off with a tight hug. "You don't have to talk about it anymore." She glanced at Sirius and Remus. They both looked close to tears.  
  
"I wanted to kill him," said James savagely, echoing Hermione's earlier words, but nobody responded. They didn't need to. They were all feeling the same way.  
  
Madame Pomphrey bustled over to them a few minutes later. "All right," she said briskly. "You two need your rest," she said to James and Sirius. She pushed two cupfuls of potion toward them. James and Sirius looked at her warily. "Drink," she ordered. Reluctantly, Sirius and James drank down the potion and settled themselves in the beds.  
  
"We'll come by later," promised Hermione as she and Remus got up.  
  
Madame Pomphrey looked them over. "You two need to rest as well," she said. "Unfortunately, I can't spare any beds in here, so I want you both to go back to Gryffindor Tower and try and get some sleep. The Headmaster doesn't want anyone wandering the castle right now, so go straight there. And don't worry, there are Aurors patrolling the grounds."  
  
Hermione and Remus were both surprised to discover that they really didn't want to argue with Madame Pomphrey. They nodded in agreement and went back to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
Though he didn't offer and she didn't ask, Hermione followed Remus up the boy's staircase to his room. Neither one of them wanted to be alone for a second. There was no need to change, they were both still in their night clothes. The bed wasn't made either, but that didn't matter. They climbed in and settled comfortably against each other.  
  
Remus kissed her forehead lightly and wrapped his arms around her, practically pulling her onto his chest and Hermione crowded as close to him as she could get. They didn't talk. They didn't even have that normal feeling of yearning that they always felt when they were this close. All they wanted was to rest in each other's arms and that's just what they did.  
  
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A/N: Okay, I've tortured you all with a million cliffies, so I decided to give you a break. This actually very nicely finishes part one of my story. That's right people, we're only halfway through, although I doubt the second half will be as long as the first. I ended up throwing a lot of extra plots into this story because I couldn't get them out of my head. I did cut one major plot line out because I couldn't make it work. It might still appear in part two, so I can't reveal what got cut or it might end up in another story, we'll see.  
  
The rest of this story takes place after they leave Hogwarts. Well actually, in the next chapter they will still be at Hogwarts, but they will be getting ready to leave and begin their adult lives. What follows is the story I hope JKR will write someday. I think we're all curious about what those first years under Voldemort's terror were like and the great thing about fanfic is that we don't have to wait to find out, we can just make it up.

Oh, and one last thing. There is a little clue buried in this chapter that should indicate to some of you where I might be heading with this story. I wonder who's clever enough to figure it out. Of course, if you do guess, I doubt I'll tell you if you're right. It would ruin the end.


	28. Chapter 28

The week following Voldemort's attack on Hogwarts was utterly chaotic. Parents began coming to the school that very day to bring their children home. Exams for everyone but the fifth and seventh years were cancelled and the O.W.L.'s and the N.E.W.T.'s were postponed for two days so extra security measures could be put in place. Once the fifth and seventh years finished their exams, they were sent home.  
  
Very few people knew Voldemort's real reason for attacking the school and those who did knew better than to say anything to anyone, though it was rumored that the Daily Prophet was offering 50 galleons to anyone willing to give a first hand account of the battle. Fortunately, the few students who did sell their stories tended to exaggerate. As a result, the attack became exponentially bigger than it really was.  
  
Somehow Dumbledore managed to keep Hermione's name out of the Daily Prophet and her role in the attack was kept a secret, even when the Ministry awarded medals of bravery to James, Sirius, Lily, and Remus. Both Dumbledore and Hermione were afraid the Daily Prophet might take it upon themselves to dig into Hermione's past and they couldn't afford for them to do that.  
  
Peter Pettigrew was quickly named as a suspect in the attack. He disappeared when Voldemort and the Death Eater's retreated and they all guessed that he was now a full fledged Death Eater forced into hiding. To Hermione, Lily and the remaining Marauder's surprise, not one Slytherin was charged in the attack. Every Slytherin that Hermione knew was a Death Eater had been found in the Slytherin common room, stunned. When revived they explained that they had refused to join the assault and were all attacked. Some even claimed that the Cruciatus Curse had been used against them to try and gain their cooperation, but they refused to join Voldemort.  
  
There was nothing any of them could do to prove the Slytherin's guilt. But they knew the truth and more importantly, Hermione made sure Dumbledore knew the truth. The only thing that consoled her was that she knew it would only be a matter of time before the truth would be known to the entire wizarding community.  
  
The three remaining Marauders, Lily, and Hermione remained at school the weekend after everyone else had gone home for the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. The witches and wizards in attendance were old friends of Dumbledore's, people he trusted implicitly. The first order of business was recruiting more members.  
  
"What about Marlene McKinnon?" asked Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody. "She's a smart girl. I knew her dad, before he died. She can be trusted."  
  
"Any objections?" asked Dumbledore. Although he was the leader of the Order and his word was final, Dumbledore insisted on voting on the most important matters. When no one raised any objections, Marlene McKinnon's name was added to the list.  
  
Hermione looked around the room. She knew she was in a room with some of the best wizards and witches of the age and she couldn't help feeling a little small and insignificant in their presence. Scattered around the empty classroom, some standing, some sitting were the current members of the Order. In the far corner was Hagrid, who was too big to sit in any of the student sized chairs. He looked serious, but still as gentle as Hermione remembered. Professor McGonagall was standing on his left.  
  
In the corner opposite the door stood Mad-Eye Moody. He had his magical eye, but not the wooden leg. He didn't look anything near as severe as Hermione remembered. Next to him was Elphias Doge who was wearing a very odd looking hat that Moody kept shooting dirty looks at with his good eye.  
  
Some of the other people in attendance were James's mother and father, Gideon and Fabian Prewett, Dorcas Meadows, Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Edgar Bones, Dedalus Diggle, Sturgis Podmore, and Arabella Figg. Hermione only recognized a few of them.  
  
"Anyone else?" asked Dumbledore.  
  
"What about Frank Longbottom?" suggested James timidly. "He's a few years older than us," he said indicating, Sirius, Lily, Remus, and Hermione, who were all sitting close together. "He was Head Boy and a Gryffindor."  
  
"And Alice too," injected Lily. "They were married six months ago." She blushed despite herself. They were all feeling a bit unsure of themselves in this group. They all wanted the respect of the group and couldn't help wishing they were a few years older.  
  
Dumbledore smiled down on all of them, almost affectionately, before turning to the group. "Any objections?" he asked again.  
  
No one objected and the Longbottom's were also added to the growing list. "Anyone else?" he asked again.  
  
"What about Arthur Weasley," spoke up Gideon Prewett. "He's married to my sister, Molly."  
  
"No," objected Hermione suddenly. Her friends stared at her curiously and she soon discovered that she was the center of the Order's attention.  
  
"What's the matter with Arthur," asked Gideon defensively. "I hope you're not trying to imply that he's less than trustworthy."  
  
"No," stammered Hermione, "of course not."  
  
"Gideon, allow the girl to speak," said Dumbledore. "We all have the right to raise any objections we might have. Hermione, can you tell us why you're objecting."  
  
Hermione bit her bottom lip. As long as she had anything to say about it, the Weasley's would be kept as far from the fighting as she could get them. She had to protect the births of Ron and Ginny at all costs. But she couldn't very well tell that to everyone. She did some fast calculations in her head. It was June 1978. That meant Fred and George were just two months old. "It's just that Mrs. Weasley just had twins and she has the three other boys. I don't think they'd be willing to take the risk. All of their children are so young."  
  
"I don't think we can really afford to exclude people because they have children," comment Benjy Fenwick. "I think we should give the Weasley's a choice."  
  
"No," said Hermione, more forcefully this time. She crossed her arms across her chest and stood at her full height, trying to look braver than she felt. "I won't support the Weasley's admittance into the Order." She looked to Professor Dumbledore, silently begging for his support with her eyes.  
  
"Who do you think you are," growled Fabian Prewett, Gideon's brother. "You're just a kid."  
  
"She's not a kid," said Remus, jumping to Hermione's defense. "We may be younger than the rest of you, but we're still members of the Order. Hermione has her reasons for objecting and that should be enough."  
  
"Why don't we just put this to a vote, Dumbledore," spoke up Moody from his corner. He was staring at Hermione intently.  
  
"I quite agree," approved Dumbledore. "All those opposed to admitting Arthur and Molly Weasley into the Order, please raise your hands." Hermione, Remus, Lily, Sirius, and James immediately raised their hands along with Dumbledore. When the other members saw Dumbledore's vote, many of them also raised their hands including Hagrid, Professor McGonagall, and Moody. They trusted Dumbledore and he trusted Hermione and that was enough for them. "All those in favor," continued Dumbledore. A few members raised their hands, but they were greatly outnumbered.  
  
"Okay," finished Dumbledore. "That's that." Gideon and Fabian Prewett exchanged a few words, but didn't argue with the consensus. "I think we should adjourn for the day," Dumbledore continued. "Alastor, please make arrangements to contact the witches and wizards on our list. The next meeting will be one week from today. Thank you all for coming."  
  
Hermione lingered after everyone had left to speak with Dumbledore. "Thank you for supporting me, sir," she said quietly.  
  
"Hermione," he said a little sternly. "Do we need to be worried about Arthur Weasley or his wife?"  
  
"Oh no," said Hermione earnestly. "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would die before they joined Voldemort." Dumbledore seemed relieved and didn't ask any further questions, but Hermione felt the need to continue. "They're both very important to me," she said. "Yes, I know them, or rather I will know them or I did know them. I just can't keep my tenses straight anymore."  
  
"It's quite all right, dear," said Dumbledore sympathetically.  
  
"Believe me, sir. They're not supposed to be in the Order, not now. I'm not trying to change anything concerning them. I'm trying to keep things the same. They do not belong in the Order."  
  
"That's enough for me," said Dumbledore. "And don't worry about Gideon and Fabian. They're good men, but they're protective of their family."  
  
"We have that in common then," said Hermione grimly.  
  
Dumbledore nodded. "It would seem so. Now, why don't you catch up with your friends? The Potter's should be ready to leave very soon."  
  
Hermione smiled. All five of them would be staying with the Potter's for a few days before returning home. Dumbledore still needed time to place wards around Lily and Remus's homes in case Voldemort got any bright ideas. The Potter's house was already one of the more secure residences in the wizarding world. The protection around the house rivaled the protection around the Black's home.  
  
Hermione would be staying on with the Potter's and she was grateful. She was also a little disappointed. Remus hadn't mentioned anything about her joining him at his home, although she knew her abrupt leaving the last time she was there might make it awkward. But they hadn't been apart for over nine months and she wasn't looking forward to being separated from him.  
  
She caught up with everyone in front of the Great Hall. Their bags were already packed and had been sent on to the Potter's. They were taking a port key to get there since Dumbledore didn't want them traveling.  
  
"There you are," said Remus, obviously relieved. "You almost missed the port key."  
  
"Sorry," said Hermione quickly. She and Remus linked their arms around each others waists and crowded around the port key. Soon enough, they felt the familiar pull around their navels and then they found themselves in the middle of the Potter's living room.  
  
James's mom sighed. "I'm glad you're all home and safe. It was all I could do not to pull you home last week."  
  
"We're fine now, mom," said James moving toward her and kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"That's right," said Sirius, kissing her other cheek.  
  
She smiled and pushed them both away. "Little charmers," she laughed pleasantly. "Make yourselves useful and get everyone's bags upstairs, you too, Remus. Put the girls bag's in Sirius's room and you boys share James's. Lily, Hermione, join me in the kitchen and help me make lunch," she commanded. They all moved to obey her immediately.  
  
In half an hour they were all sitting in the Potter's dining room eating lunch together and discussing their summer plans. James and Sirius would be heading for Auror training in less than two months. Lily had a job at the Ministry that she would be starting next week and Hermione would be heading back and forth to Hogwarts. Dumbledore had offered her a position at the school as a teacher's assistant. It was a front for her real job. Hermione would be dividing her time between helping the Professor's and working for the Order. Remus hadn't been very forthcoming about his plans. All he would say is that he found a job in the town near his home and would be starting the next day.  
  
After lunch, the five friends decided to take a walk, though Mr. Potter made them promise to stay on the Potter's land. They were all excited about beginning the next part of their lives, but at the same time were apprehensive.  
  
"I wish you didn't have to leave so soon," pouted Hermione. They had stopped and were sitting under the shade of a particularly large tree and she and Remus were completely wrapped around each other.  
  
"I know," he returned, kissing her temple. "But it's a good job and I can't pass it up."  
  
"I don't think it's fair that you three get one last summer vacation while Remus and I have to get to work," said Lily.  
  
"I don't get a vacation," protested Hermione. "Dumbledore wants me coming to Hogwarts next week."  
  
"Yeah, but you'll be working for the Order, being useful to the cause," said Lily. "And you get to come back here every night."  
  
Hermione couldn't argue with that.  
  
"You could come back here too you know," reminded James. He and Lily were also entwined around each other, Lily was practically sitting in his lap they were so close.  
  
"I don't think either of our parents would like that arrangement," said Lily. "Besides, I'm getting my own flat. I don't want to commute all the way to London every day. And I couldn't possibly stand living with Petunia and having her say all sorts of spiteful comments to me every night."  
  
"Your own flat?" said James happily. "Well, I can't say I mind that arrangement much." He nuzzled her neck and she smacked him playfully. Sirius, Remus and Hermione laughed.  
  
"What about you, Sirius?" asked Hermione. "What are you going to do for the next two months before Auror training starts?"  
  
"Actually," he began, rubbing the back of neck uncomfortably. "I'm signing the lease on a place of my own this week."  
  
James shot an accusatory look at Sirius. "What?"  
  
"Yeah, I was going to tell you later."  
  
"Why'd you get a place of your own?" asked James. "You already have a home here."  
  
"James, I can't take advantage of your parents forever. I'm not their responsibility."  
  
"They don't care," argued James. "I think they like having you around more than me sometimes."  
  
"Still," said Sirius. "It's about time I take care of myself." James crossed his arms angrily. "Don't be mad, James," said Sirius.  
  
"I'm not mad," James denied, but everyone could tell he was. A silence fell over the group.  
  
After a while, Remus stood and pulled Hermione to her feet. "Hermione and I are going to take a walk by ourselves," he announced. Hermione followed him, throwing a mischievous smile back at her friends. They walked far enough to be both out of eye and earshot of their friends before Remus pulled Hermione toward him and kissed her passionately. She broke away after a while, both of them breathing heavily.  
  
Somehow they managed to find their way under a particularly tall tree with a broad trunk. Remus had Hermione pressed up against it and she was glad, because she knew she needed the extra support to keep her upright. His hard, demanding kiss was replaced by gentler, sweeter kisses, but they soon tired of the light touches and each of them demanded more of the other.  
  
Remus's hands were everywhere and soon Hermione felt them working their way under her shirt. "Your skin is so soft," he murmured. She gasped when his palm settled over her covered breast. He quickly pulled his hand away, embarrassed. "Sorry," he said softly.  
  
Hermione laughed lightly. "No, I'm sorry. You just surprised me." Remus had turned slightly pink. "It's okay," she reassured him. "It was nice." She pulled him back and kissed him again. With a bit of encouragement, his hands found their way back to their desired spot. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Hermione wondered where Remus had learned how to touch her in such a way that made her want to forget they were outside.  
  
"We have to stop," she whispered after a while. "The others are going to wonder what happened to us."  
  
Reluctantly, Remus pulled away. "It's getting harder to stop," he commented.  
  
Hermione nodded. "I know," she agreed. "I wish we had time to be really alone before you left."  
  
"Me too," returned Remus regretfully.  
  
"Can you wait?" asked Hermione, suddenly uncertain.  
  
Remus took both her hands in his and kissed them. "Of course, we've waited this long, haven't we?"  
  
She nodded, feeling relieved. "It might be a while before we're together again," she said miserably.  
  
"I'll come and visit as often as I can," he promised.  
  
"I know," she said, but it didn't make her feel better.  
  
"Come on," urged Remus, pulling her along. "Let's find the guys." When they joined the others, James, Lily, and Sirius gave them each knowing smiles. Hermione could just imagine how they looked. Only she found that she didn't care.  
  
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A/N: I have a few more comments than I usually do this time around, first I have to give major kudos to the website The Harry Potter Lexicon. It is an invaluable source of information that even JKR has admitted to using when she needs a quick fact. (In fact, I got the tip about the HPL from JKR's website, which is also very cool.)  
  
Also, I had to respond to a comment left by reviewer DrumFan8 about silver and werewolves and the fact that JKR gave Peter Pettigrew a silver hand at the end of GOF. (Are you getting tired of initials?) He wrote: The currency in the HP world is gold galleons, silver sickles, and bronze knuts... right... well werewolves are allergic to silver... does that means that werewolves can't touch that particular piece of money? Or maybe in JKR's world... the silver only hurts the werewolves if they ingest it. Which brings me to another question... do you think JKR will have Remus die at the end by Peter's hand... because she had Voldemort give Pettigrew a SILVER hand when he cut his own off in the 4th book... and werewolves are allergic to silver!  
  
I have to say that the above idea has given me many horrible nightmares, because nothing by JKR is a coincidence, except maybe the whole Mark Evans thing, and I have often thought that Remus will die at Peter's hand. I also think that Peter will die in the end too, but that's no consolation to me. Before everyone sends me Howlers, let me say that I hope this doesn't happen, but after the whole Sirius debacle, I'm afraid we can't trust our beloved JKR.  
  
Last thing, please don't send me anything about Gideon and Fabian Prewett not being Molly Weasley's brothers. JKR says they are close relatives, but she doesn't pin down their specific relationship. I like to think that they were her brothers because that would be so much more interesting than if they were just her cousins or uncles or something.  
  
Anyway I had these thoughts and wanted to share. That's about it. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. 


	29. Chapter 29

Hermione woke up early to see Remus off. She held him tightly, kissing his mouth longingly, knowing it would be at least a week before she would be able to again. He pulled away reluctantly and their hands lingered together for a moment more.  
  
"I've got to go," he said softly.  
  
"I know," she returned with a sigh. "I'll miss you."  
  
"Yeah, me too. I love you, sweetheart."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Hermione stepped back and with one last smile Remus disapparated. Hermione sat alone for a while longer knowing she was being silly and sentimental, but not caring. With a sigh, she went back to the bedroom she was sharing with Lily.  
  
"Did Remus go?" Lily asked when she returned to the room.  
  
Hermione was surprised to find Lily up so early. "Yeah, just now," she replied.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I guess," said Hermione quietly. "I just wish he didn't have to go. It's so dangerous out there, now. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him."  
  
"He'll be fine," reassured Lily. "Don't worry." She paused. "What is it he's going to be doing, exactly?"  
  
"He's working with potions, helping this wizard near his home make them and fill orders and stuff."  
  
"That's a perfect job for him," commented Lily. "Remus was always so smart."  
  
Hermione smiled proudly.  
  
"You know," began Lily. "You can always go visit him at home. I'm sure his parents wouldn't mind."  
  
"I thought of that," admitted Hermione. "But Remus never mentioned it. Though I guess I can understand that. Remus's mom didn't exactly take to me."  
  
"No," said Lily in surprise. "Why not?"  
  
Hermione shrugged, not wanting to get into the details. "She's really protective of him. I don't think it's personal. I have a feeling she wouldn't take to any girl he brought home. Trust me, you're lucky. The Potter's adore you." Lily smiled happily, but felt bad for her friend.  
  
They sat in companionable silence for a while before Lily spoke again. "Hermione, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Lily took a deep breath. "You're not really from France, are you?"  
  
Hermione froze, not sure how to respond.  
  
"Please be honest with me," said Lily quietly. "We've been through so much and I've trusted you, even when I knew you weren't being completely honest with me. I still trust you. I don't know why, but I do. Maybe it's because the boys do. But I have to know the truth."  
  
Hermione took a deep breath. "You're right," she said finally. "After what you did for me when Voldemort attacked the school I owe you. I should have told you before. It's just that the truth is kind of incredible."  
  
"It can't be anymore incredible than the fiction I'm creating in my head," said Lily.  
  
Hermione laughed. "Well, I'm not from France. You're right about that."  
  
"Why did you lie?" asked Lily.  
  
"Because I had to," said Hermione. "I wish I could have been completely honest with you, but it was dangerous." She took another breath. "I'll tell you what I can and I hope you'll understand why I can't tell you more."  
  
Lily waited in anticipation.  
  
"I'm from the future."  
  
Lily and Hermione stared at each other, letting the words hang in the air. "Okay," said Lily. "I don't think I was expecting that."  
  
"No one ever is," returned Hermione.  
  
"How far into the future?" asked Lily.  
  
"A little less than twenty years," she answered.  
  
"Twenty years! Wow," said Lily, breathlessly. "I mean... Wow!"  
  
Hermione laughed lightly. "Is that all you have to say?"  
  
"No, I just... I guess I don't know what to say." Lily paused, looking thoughtful. "Why did you come back?"  
  
"I didn't mean to, actually," said Hermione honestly.  
  
"Can't you get back?" asked Lily.  
  
Hermione shook her head. "Not just yet."  
  
"But aren't you afraid you're going to change time by being here?"  
  
"That's kind of the point."  
  
Lily looked surprised. "There are very strict laws about changing time, Hermione," she said in an almost scolding tone.  
  
"I know, but it appears that's why Dumbledore sent me back."  
  
"Dumbledore sent you?"  
  
Hermione nodded. "I'm supposed to complete a task, only I don't know what it is exactly."  
  
"Wow," repeated Lily. They were silent again for a long time.  
  
"Is that all?" asked Hermione, slightly surprised. "The boys had loads more questions."  
  
"I don't think I really want to know anything else. I can piece together a few things on my own. I'd guess you know us in the future, which explains a lot. I kind of thought you were a Seer or something. I couldn't figure out how you seemed to know us all so well."  
  
"Now you know," said Hermione.  
  
"Now I know," returned Lily with a relieved smile.  
  
"You're taking this awfully well, Lily," said Hermione, clearly impressed.  
  
"How should I take it?" asked Lily.  
  
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. It's just that I had to tell the guys so much just to get them to believe me."  
  
"They're pure bloods," said Lily simply.  
  
"What does that have to do with it?" asked Hermione.  
  
"They're not use to shocks. They grew up in this world. Nothing surprises them. I think we muggle borns are a little more open to the unusual. What could be more shocking than finding out at the age of eleven that magic is real and what's more, you're a witch. I told myself that day that nothing would ever shock me again."  
  
Hermione nodded, completely understanding. "You're right. I think Harry and I were always so much more impressed by stuff than Ron was. It was just second na..." she trailed off, realizing who she had just been talking about.  
  
"Harry and Ron, who are they?" asked Lily curiously.  
  
"Umm, friends," said Hermione carefully. "Just some friends I left behind."  
  
Lily nodded sympathetically. "So that's why Voldemort came after you," said Lily with a sudden realization. "Peter must have told him."  
  
"Peter doesn't know," said Hermione quickly. "He thinks I'm a spy. We think that's what he told Voldemort."  
  
"Either way, you're in danger."  
  
Hermione nodded. "I think that's why Dumbledore wants me at Hogwarts. I think he wants to keep me close, just in case."  
  
"It makes sense," agreed Lily.  
  
"I'm glad you know, Lily," said Hermione sincerely. "It was hard keeping it from you. I was just trying to do the right thing."  
  
"I understand," returned Lily. "I just wish I had been more supportive of you and not so suspicious."  
  
"You had every right to be," said Hermione quickly. "I imagine I acted quite oddly at times."  
  
"You did," conceded Lily and they both laughed. Lily glanced at the clock on the nightstand between their two beds. "It's time to be up," she said. They both got out of bed and Lily came around and hugged Hermione tightly. "You're the best girl friend I have," she said. "Nothing's going to change that, even this whole future business."  
  
Hermione was surprised to feel tears prick at the corner of her eyes. "I never had a best girl friend," she admitted. "Just my boys. It's nice."  
  
"Come on," urged Lily. "Let's go see if Mrs. Potter needs help with breakfast."  
  
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  
  
After their talk, the friendship between Lily and Hermione grew closer very quickly. Lily's sometimes cautious manner toward Hermione disappeared now that she knew the truth.  
  
In many ways Lily became a better friend to talk to for Hermione than the boys because she never pushed her for information about the future. She listened when Hermione was feeling melancholy and only offered advice when asked.  
  
About a week after Remus left Godric's Hollow, James, Lily, and Hermione helped Sirius move into his new flat. Despite the fact that they were surrounded by muggles, they still managed to make the moving in easier with magic. They weren't the best witches and wizards at Hogwarts for nothing.  
  
About midday James and Lily decided to go on a food run. They had worked hard through the morning and were all starving.  
  
Sirius and Hermione stayed in the flat, unpacking his things. They worked diligently, talking and laughing all the while. "So how have things at Hogwarts been?" inquired Sirius.  
  
"Okay," returned Hermione. "It feels odd being there without the rest of you. It's so quiet without all the students running around."  
  
"I bet," laughed Sirius. "It must seem big."  
  
She nodded. "Dumbledore keeps me pretty busy. He has me working on a comprehensive list of all the known Death Eaters. He hopes I can add a bit of insight on them."  
  
"How's that going?"  
  
"Pretty good," admitted Hermione. "I just wish I could do more. There's a lot about I don't really know. And I always have the feeling I'm forgetting things."  
  
"I'm sure you're doing fine," said Sirius with a smile. "Have you heard from Remus?" he asked, changing the subject.  
  
She shook her head. "Not for a couple of days. He sent me an owl the third day he left telling me it might be a while before I heard from him again. He says the job is very demanding and he's very busy."  
  
"So he's not going to be able to come back for the weekend?" asked Sirius.  
  
"No," said Hermione with a sigh.  
  
Sirius smiled sympathetically. "Did you want to hang out Friday then? James is taking Lily out somewhere special so it'll just be the two of us."  
  
"Sure," returned Hermione easily. "Where do you want all this stuff?" asked Hermione about a particularly large box of stuff.  
  
"Bedroom," answered Sirius. He moved to help Hermione lift it into his room when the doorbell rang.  
  
"That must be James and Lily with the food," commented Hermione. "You get the door. I'll get this stuff tucked away."  
  
Sirius nodded and went to the door, while Hermione levitated the box and followed it into his room. She quickly emptied the box of its content. She raised her wand directed each piece to its proper place.  
  
Satisfied with the way everything was arranged, Hermione tucked her wand into the back of her jeans pocket and went back into the living room. "I'm starved," she announced as she entered the room. She stopped short when she realized the person at the door was neither Lily nor James.  
  
The woman framing Sirius's front door wasn't anyone she had ever seen before. She was tall and thin and had beautiful black hair that fell to her shoulders. Hermione paused, waiting for Sirius to introduce her, but he hadn't seemed to notice Hermione had entered the room. When the woman's gaze fell on Hermione, Sirius remembered her.  
  
"Oh Laura, this is Hermione. Hermione, this is Laura. She lives in the building."  
  
Hermione stepped forward and extended her hand. "Hello."  
  
"Hi," Laura returned, shaking her hand.  
  
They stood awkwardly for a few seconds. "Laura was just telling me about the neighborhood," Sirius informed Hermione.  
  
"Oh," said Hermione, not knowing what else to say.  
  
"Anyway," said Laura, smiling widely. "I just wanted to welcome you to the building and let you know that if you ever need anything, I'm right down the hall."  
  
"Thanks," Sirius grinned widely. Hermione had to turn away or she was in danger of rolling her eyes. All men were the same. They turned into idiots at the sight of a pretty face.  
  
"You want to come in?" Hermione heard Sirius ask.  
  
"Sure," said Laura brightly.  
  
Hermione had to stifle a groan as she heard Sirius close the door. It was going to be impossible to finish unpacking with Laura in the flat. She quickly remembered that her wand was sticking out of her back pocket and untucked her shirt to cover it.  
  
"Wow, your place is much bigger than mine," commented Laura. "I didn't know they came this big in this building."  
  
Hermione shot a look at Sirius. He smiled back at her sheepishly. She looked at the room more carefully and could see that he had clearly used magic to increase the space in the room.  
  
"Can I give you a tour?" offered Sirius.  
  
"Sure," she replied. Sirius led Laura into the back rooms, leaving Hermione alone in the front of the apartment.  
  
"That's okay," she said under her breath. "I'll just keep myself busy unpacking all your crap," she said sarcastically to herself. She went to the tiny kitchen that Hermione knew would probably never see a day of cooking and began unpacking the dishes and silverware, all brand new.  
  
She was nearly done when she heard the front door again. She knew it had to be James and Lily so she continued working until she heard their raised voices.  
  
"I don't care what he said James," said Lily loudly. "You can't just whip out your wand any time you feel like it."  
  
"That guy was hitting on you, Lily," returned James angrily. "And right in front of me. What did he think? That I was your brother?"  
  
"He was a muggle," said Lily in exasperation. "We had to obliviate him."  
  
"He deserved it. I couldn't let him say those things to you."  
  
Hermione quickly set down the dishes in her hand and came flying out of the kitchen to hush them.  
  
"I was ignoring him. Why couldn't you?" When she got no answer she continued. "You'll be lucky if we don't get a warning from the Improper Use of Magic's office." Just as Hermione reached Lily and James, Sirius reentered the room with Laura. Both Lily and James went pale and stared open mouthed at the stranger.  
  
Hermione glanced at Sirius, who looked embarrassed, and Laura, who looked uncertain.  
  
"Umm, wha... Oh...," gibbered James.  
  
"This is Laura," said Sirius quickly. "She's one of my new neighbors. Laura, these are my friends James and Lily."  
  
"Uh...," James continued to babble.  
  
Lily recovered quickly. She rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "Nice to meet you, Laura. Sorry about that. I was just explaining to my boyfriend why he doesn't need to act like a Neanderthal when we go out in public.  
  
Laura laughed. "Don't mention it."  
  
"We were just getting lunch," continued Lily. "Did you want to join us?"  
  
"Oh no," said Laura quickly. "I hadn't meant to stay so long. I just wanted to introduce myself."  
  
"Are you sure?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Yes, thank you," returned Laura.  
  
"Let me show you out," said Sirius somewhat deflated. They watched Sirius lead Laura to the door and she was gone. Once the door was closed, Sirius whirled on them. "Have you two lost your minds?" he exclaimed.  
  
"How were we suppose to know you'd bring a muggle in here?" returned Lily hotly. "Did she hear us?"  
  
"No," returned Sirius. "When I heard you two, I got really loud and tried to drown you out. She must think I'm an idiot."  
  
James began laughing hysterically.  
  
"What's so funny?" asked Sirius, clearly not amused.  
  
James continued laughing. "It's just that, well, leave it to you to get a girl into your apartment before you've even finished unpacking."  
  
Sirius tried to fight it, but found himself laughing as well.  
  
"I guess you're getting back to your normal self," said James innocently. Sirius continued smiling, but also felt himself turning a little red.  
  
"I'll just get some plates," announced Hermione stiffly, before returning to the kitchen.  
  
Lily shot a look at her retreating back. "I'll help you," she said, joining her.  
  
Hermione went about the kitchen gathering the plates and cups she had just put away and banging them on the counter.  
  
"What's the matter with you?" asked Lily softly.  
  
"Nothing," said Hermione defensively. She paused. She found she couldn't explain her sudden surge of irritation. "Sorry," she said quickly. "I must be tired."  
  
"Are you missing Remus?" questioned Lily sympathetically.  
  
Hermione gave her a small smile. "That must be it," she conceded. "Come on," she said changing the subject. "Let's get this stuff back before the boys start without us." She grabbed the small stack of plates and headed back to the boys.  
  
They all ate and talked, though Hermione stayed pretty quiet for the rest of the evening. At the end of the night, Lily apparated home and James and Hermione apparated back to Godric's Hollow. Hermione was new to apparition, having only gotten her license a couple of days before and ended up outside of the house rather than in it.  
  
She knocked on the front door and James opened it with a grin. "You'll get the hang of it," he promised cheekily.  
  
Hermione narrowed her eyes and entered the house. She hated doing things wrong and liked it even less when she did it in front of others.  
  
"Hey you two," called Mr. Potter from his study. James and Hermione made a detour to the room to visit with Mr. Potter. "How does Sirius's flat look?" he inquired when they entered.  
  
"Good," said James. Hermione nodded in agreement.  
  
"You got an owl this afternoon, son," said Mr. Potter motioning to a letter on the edge of his desk.  
  
James took it and quickly opened it. He grimaced slightly before crumbling it up in his hand.  
  
"Anything the matter?" asked Mr. Potter with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"No sir," said James.  
  
Mr. Potter shook his head, but Hermione could see his mouth was slightly upturned. "Try not to let it happen again, James."  
  
James glanced down at his feet, wondering how his father always knew his every move. "Yes sir." He backed out of the office and Hermione followed him.  
  
"What was that about?" she asked immediately.  
  
James handed her the crumbled parchment. She smoothed it out and read. "It's only a warning," she said, trying not to laugh. "Lily warned you."  
  
James shrugged as if he didn't care. "I don't get how my father always knows what I'm up to."  
  
Hermione laughed. "I think it's a sixth sense they get when they become parents."  
  
"Well I'm never going to butt into my kid's life constantly." They reached their respective rooms. "Night Hermione."  
  
"Night James," said Hermione. "Oh and James."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I know your son. Trust me, you won't be able to take your eyes off him for a second," she said smiling as she entered her room and closed the door.  
  
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Hermione was sitting behind the desk Dumbledore had provided her at Hogwarts, scratching away. Her mind was so consumed with what she was working on that she didn't notice the owl tapping on her window for a few minutes.  
  
She finally saw him and quickly went to open the window. She took the offered letter and the owl flew off in the direction of the Owlery.  
  
She recognized the handwriting on the outside of the letter and tore it open. It was from Remus! She read quickly.  
  
_Dear Hermione,  
  
I hope all is well. I'm doing fine. I am very busy with work. We have more orders than we have time to fill and I often have to work late into the night to get everything done. I know I mentioned I would be coming home for the weekend in my last letter, but it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to get away. I know you'll understand. I love you and miss you more than you could now. Say hi to the gang for me.  
  
Remus  
  
P.S. Please let Dumbledore know I won't be able to attend the next Order meeting. If he needs anything from me, he knows where to reach me.  
  
P.P.S. I love you.  
_  
Hermione folded the short note over with an angry sigh. She pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and began to write.  
  
_Dear Remus,  
  
It's been over two weeks. You've promised to come home twice and both times cancelled. Can't you take a couple of hours to apart to Godric's Hollow or Hogsmeade so we can spend a little...  
_  
Hermione paused mid-sentence and crumbled the paper and tossed it into the trash. She knew she wasn't being fair. Remus had been lucky to get the job and she knew he loved it. She knew they wouldn't be apart forever, but she missed him and he hadn't mentioned when he might be able to get away. She felt silly, but she hadn't realized how lonely she would be without him.  
  
She didn't want to go back to her work and it was nearly time to quit for the day, so she decided to pack her things up. She didn't feel like returning to the Potter's right away because she knew James probably wouldn't be there, so she decided to check on Sirius.  
  
She walked to Hogsmeade before apparating to Sirius's flat. She had to apparate directly inside his apartment since he lived in a muggle neighborhood, but he had told them all that it was okay to do it.  
  
"Sirius?" she called out. "Are you here?"  
  
She shrugged her robes off and laid them on a chair.  
  
"Sirius is that you," called a female voice.  
  
"Lily?" called Hermione back. 'What was Lily doing here?' she thought to herself.  
  
A girl emerged from the kitchen, but it wasn't Lily. "Oh," she said in surprise. "I thought you were Sirius."  
  
Hermione narrowed her eyes at the girl who had introduced herself on moving day. "Laura right?" asked Hermione, though she knew full well what her name was.  
  
Laura nodded.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked suspiciously. "Where's Sirius?"  
  
"He went out for a bottle of wine," answered Laura, smiling. "I'm cooking dinner for him."  
  
Hermione stared at her. "And he left you in his flat by yourself?"  
  
The smile disappeared from Laura's face. "He said he'd only be a second. I didn't hear the doorbell," she said pointedly.  
  
"I have a key," lied Hermione, not interested in explaining the finer points of apparition to this girl, even if she could.  
  
"You and Sirius must be close," commented Laura.  
  
"We go back a long ways," returned Hermione. They stared at each other in silence before Laura spoke again.  
  
"I have to check on the food," she said, excusing herself.  
  
Hermione sat heavily on the couch. She decided to wait for Sirius. She didn't have to wait long. He arrived about five minutes later. Laura hadn't left the kitchen.  
  
Sirius was mildly surprised to see Hermione sitting on his couch, when he expected a much different person.  
  
"Hey," he said smiling. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Hermione shrugged. "Just came by for a visit," she said softly. Sirius set down the bottle of wine he was carrying and approached her.  
  
"Where's Laura?" he asked as an afterthought.  
  
"Kitchen," said Hermione.  
  
"What's the matter, Hermione," he asked sincerely, sitting next to her. "You look upset."  
  
She looked down at her hands. "I'm okay. I had a long day. There was some stuff I wanted to talk with you about concerning the Order, but it doesn't look like now is a good time."  
  
Sirius glanced toward the kitchen again. "Yeah," he said distractedly. "She's cooking dinner for me. I mentioned how the only time I get a home cooked meal was on Sunday when I go over to the Potter's and she sort of volunteered."  
  
"How nice of her," said Hermione, with a touch of sarcasm in her voice. Sirius either let it go or didn't notice.  
  
"Did you want to stay for dinner?" he offered.  
  
"Umm, no," returned Hermione. "Three's a crowd."  
  
"It's okay, really. I'm sure she made enough."  
  
Hermione stood. "No, that's okay. I'm going to go. I didn't mean to interrupt anything."  
  
"You're not," insisted Sirius. He didn't want her to go. He missed not seeing her everyday.  
  
Hermione leaned in and kissed Sirius on the cheek. "Enjoy your dinner."  
  
Sirius followed her to the door. "Hermione stay," he tried one last time.  
  
"I'll come by tomorrow," she promised opening the door.  
  
"Okay," he conceded. He hovered in the open door. "Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
She nodded energetically. "I'll see you tomorrow." She hurried down the hall and Sirius waited for her to disappear before closing the door.  
  
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A/N: Hope you liked that chapter. This part of the story seems to be writing itself. It's flowing very easily for me. I guess that's what happens when you plan ahead. I'll have to remember that in the future.  
  
It seems that almost everyone had the same thoughts I did about Peter's silver hand. It kind of bummed me out. I will be very disappointed if Remus dies. I guess we'll all just have to keep our fingers crossed. 


	30. Chapter 30

The next day James and Sirius were lounging in Sirius's apartment tossing a Quaffle back and forth and talking.  
  
"So how was your date with the lovely Laura?" asked James.  
  
"It wasn't a date," said Sirius. "It was just dinner."  
  
"Sounds like a date to me," countered James.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Dinner was fine." James threw the Quaffle above Sirius's head. He tried to grab for it, but he missed and it crashed into a lamp.  
  
"Sorry," said James.  
  
Sirius waved his hand dismissively. He pulled out his wand and said, "Reparo." The lamp immediately flew together and righted itself on the table. "Hermione stopped by," said Sirius trying to sound nonchalant.  
  
James paused. "During your date?"  
  
"I ran out for some wine and when I came back she was waiting for me."  
  
"What'd she want?" asked James.  
  
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. She seemed upset. I asked her to stay, but she wouldn't. Did she say anything to you about what might have been bothering her?"  
  
"You invited her to join you on your date?" asked James incredulously.  
  
"It wasn't a date," said Sirius in exasperation. "James, did you hear what I asked you?"  
  
James closed his eyes and shook his head. "Sirius, believe me, I'm only saying this because I'm your friend. You have got to get over Hermione."  
  
"What are you talking about?" returned Sirius disgustedly.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about so don't play dumb," said James sharply. "She and Remus are together. You don't have a chance with her. I'm not sure you ever did."  
  
His last words stung Sirius's pride, but he wasn't going to let James know that.  
  
"It's probably a good thing you and I are heading for Auror Training soon," said James. "I think it would do you some good to get away from her for a while."  
  
"You're being ridiculous," said Sirius rolling his eyes. "I'm not going to do anything."  
  
James turned very serious. "Of course you're not. That's not what I'm worried about. I know you'd never do anything like that to Remus. You're not that kind of a friend."  
  
"Then what are you worried about?" asked Sirius.  
  
"You," said James in exasperation. "I'm worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt and that's what's going to happen if you're not careful."  
  
"I'm not going to get hurt," assured Sirius. "I like being with her, okay. I admit it. She makes me feel... She makes me feel... like things are going to be okay. I haven't felt that way since I left home."  
  
James couldn't respond. Sirius acted so normally most of the time, like nothing ever bothered him, that James often forgot he had left home and been completely disowned by his family only a year ago.  
  
"And it's my life," continued Sirius. "So stop worrying, I can take care of myself. I have for a whole year now."  
  
James knew Sirius couldn't be talked to when he went into stubborn mode. "Let's get out of here," said James with a sigh, standing up. "I'm hungry."  
  
"I can't," said Sirius uncomfortably.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Hermione's coming over later," mumbled Sirius, not looking into James's eye.  
  
James stared at him, shaking his head.  
  
"It's not what you think," said Sirius.  
  
"Right," returned James, heading for the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" asked Sirius. "You don't have to leave. You could hang out with us tonight."  
  
"I'm not going to sit here and watch you do this to yourself," said James firmly. "I'll see you later."  
  
"Bye," said Sirius sulkily.  
  
James left, leaving Sirius to brood on his own. He was still brooding when Hermione arrived later that evening.  
  
"Hey," she said cheerfully, when she saw him sitting on the couch.  
  
"Hi," he returned glumly.  
  
"What's the matter?" she laughed. "You look like your favorite pet just died."  
  
"Sometimes I just want to kill James, you know," said Sirius.  
  
Hermione laughed again. "What he do?"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Nothing, never mind. Are you feeling better?"  
  
"Much," said Hermione. "I'm sorry I interrupted things yesterday. It's just that I had just got a letter from Remus telling me he wasn't coming home again and I was bummed. How was your date?" she asked tentatively.  
  
"It wasn't a date," said Sirius. "It was just dinner."  
  
"Okay," she said slowly. "How was dinner?"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "Okay I guess."  
  
"Are you going to see her again?"  
  
Sirius shrugged again.  
  
"I take it you don't want to talk about it," said Hermione.  
  
"Not really," returned Sirius with a smile.  
  
"Okay, then what shall we do?"  
  
"Dinner?" suggested Sirius.  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
"Any place in particular?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Surprise me," said Hermione, smiling.  
  
Sirius took her to a nearby muggle restaurant that had good burgers and they had an enjoyable dinner. They ordered a couple rounds of drinks and as the night progressed Hermione got a bit silly. Sirius had stopped at two, but Hermione continued after him for another two rounds.  
  
She wasn't slobbering drunk by the end of dinner, but she did need help getting back to his place. Hermione leaned heavily against Sirius all the way up the stairs to his flat. While he searched for his key, she whipped out her wand and pointed it at the key hole. Sirius grabbed her wand before she could mutter the spell. "Muggles, remember?" he said pointedly.  
  
"What?" said Hermione loudly. "There's no one here. Who would see?"  
  
"Shh," he hushed her. He managed to get the key in the lock and herded her into his apartment.  
  
She untangled herself from him and headed to the kitchen. Sirius watched her amusedly. She returned a few seconds later with the bottle of wine, left over from his dinner with Laura the night before and two mugs.  
  
"Don't you have any fancy glasses?" asked Hermione. "Half the fun of drinking wine is drinking it out of fancy glasses."  
  
"Don't you think you've had enough?" questioned Sirius.  
  
She shook her head. "I'm not drunk, if that's what you're implying. I've never been drunk."  
  
"There's a first time for everything," Sirius muttered under his breath, but he accepted one of the mugs she had poured the wine into.  
  
"Your date must have been a real dud, Sirius," said Hermione. "The bottles more than half full."  
  
"It wasn't a date, oh never mind," said Sirius. He took a sip from his mug and watched Hermione down hers and pour herself a second.  
  
"Should we toast?" he asked jokingly.  
  
"Yes," said Hermione, sounding very excited by the idea. "Let's toast." She raised her mug. "I have the perfect toast," she announced.  
  
Sirius raised his mug, trying desperately not to laugh.  
  
"To Remus and his new job," said Hermione grandly. "It must be quite exciting to keep him from me for this long," she finished bitterly and took another sip of wine.  
  
"You're not being fair," said Sirius. "It's only been two weeks. He'd come and visit if he could."  
  
"What are you, on his side?" she asked.  
  
"No," he returned. "I'm not on anyone's side. I'm just saying..."  
  
"James can't stay away from Lily for even a day," she said unhappily. "Are you telling me that he can't steal even an hour at night to apparate to the Potter's and say hello?"  
  
"He's probably tired," reasoned Sirius. "He must be very busy."  
  
"Yeah, that's what he wrote," said Hermione doubtfully. "But you know what they say, out of sight, out of mind. And in his last letter he didn't say when he would be coming for a visit, so it might be another two weeks for all I know. Could you stay away from someone you loved for a month?"  
  
"If I had too," said Sirius quietly. But it was a lie. He wasn't sure why Remus had stayed away for two weeks. It wasn't like they were muggles and had to drive a car or take a train to get places. They had the floo network and apparition. Travel was practically instantaneous.  
  
"You're lying," slurred Hermione. She had finished the second mug of wine and started on her third. "You're just trying to protect him. Well I'm mad at him and I'm going to tell him so when I see him."  
  
"All right, Hermione. That's enough." He strode over to her and removed the mug and bottle from her hands. He went to the kitchen and poured the tiny bit of wine left in the bottle and mug down the sink, before returning to her.  
  
She had made her way to his couch and was sitting looking miserable. He stood watching her indecisively. When he saw a tear fall down the side of her cheek he moved instinctively and sat next to her. She immediately moved closer to him and put her arms around his waist and her head on his shoulder.  
  
He held her so long that she eventually fell asleep. When he felt her heavy against his chest, breathing evenly, he moved carefully out of her arms and laid her on the couch. Then he decided that she wouldn't be comfortable on his couch all night and carefully lifted her into his arms and brought her to his bedroom.  
  
Sirius laid her on the bed and pulled a spare blanket over her. He watched her for a few minutes and ran his hand over her hair, stroking it longingly. Then remembering himself, he pulled his hand back as if she had burnt him. He quickly left the room and closed the door behind him, wishing desperately that he hadn't thrown the rest of the wine down the sink. He could really use a drink now.  
  
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Hermione awoke the next morning to a searing headache. She groaned and rolled over in bed, before she realized that she wasn't at the Potter's. She hadn't left Sirius's. She stumbled out of bed and went into the living room.  
  
Sirius was already awake. "Morning," he said cheerfully.  
  
She groaned in response, rubbing her temples.  
  
Sirius got up and retrieved a small bottle from one of the nearby cabinets. "Here," he said, offering the bottle to her. "Drink this. It will make your head feel better. It's a hangover cure."  
  
She drank the bottle and immediately felt a little relief. "My throat is so dry," she croaked.  
  
"I'll tell you what," said Sirius sympathetically. "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll make you a little breakfast."  
  
"That sounds so good," she said gratefully.  
  
"There are towels in the bathroom and you can borrow my robe," said Sirius, heading to the kitchen to start cooking.  
  
Hermione went and had a long hot shower. She felt ten times better afterwards, although she also felt embarrassed remembering how emotional she had gotten the night before.  
  
As soon as she got out of the shower she could smell breakfast and was surprised to find she was actually hungry. She quickly threw on Sirius's robe and headed back out.  
  
Breakfast was waiting on the table for her.  
  
"Thank you," said Hermione.  
  
"You're welcome," he returned with a smile.  
  
Hermione cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Listen, I'm really sorry about last night."  
  
"Don't worry about it," said Sirius immediately.  
  
"No really," she insisted. "I was completely plastered. I'm so embarrassed."  
  
He reached across the table and took her hand. "It's okay. I understand."  
  
She smiled and squeezed his hand back. "You're such a good friend."  
  
It was that precise moment when they were holding hands and smiling affectionately at each other with Hermione in Sirius's bathrobe that James apparated into the apartment with a pop.  
  
He took in the scene before him and his lips thinned. "I can't believe you two," he said accusingly.  
  
Their hands pulled apart and they stared at James.  
  
"My parents were worried sick when they realized you hadn't come home last night," said James angrily.  
  
Hermione's hands went to her mouth. "I'm so sorry," she said immediately. "I'll just go get dressed and head over there before I go to work." She got up quickly, leaving her breakfast untouched and hurried out of the room.  
  
James waited until she was out of the room before turning on Sirius. "I didn't think you were capable of this," he accused.  
  
"Oh calm down," Sirius snapped back. "Nothing happened. She got drunk and crashed here."  
  
James continued his disapproving stare.  
  
"If you want to be so damn judgmental then you can just get out," said Sirius angrily. "I'm not going to apologize for being her friend."  
  
"Let me ask you something," returned James just as angrily. "What would Remus say if he knew she had spent the night here, knowing how you feel about her?"  
  
Sirius couldn't answer.  
  
"Exactly," said James. "If you don't care about your own heart, why not watch out for Remus's."  
  
"He's the one who up and left," said Sirius defensively.  
  
"For work," countered James.  
  
Sirius scoffed. "Yeah, and he sends her a letter a week just to tell her he can't come home. If he's so damn in love with her why does he stay away, huh? I wouldn't."  
  
"It's only been two weeks," said James.  
  
Sirius was about to answer James when Hermione emerged from his bedroom. Her clothes were completely wrinkled and her hair was still wet.  
  
"Are you coming, James?" she asked. "I know I'm going to be late for work, but I have to change before I head to Hogwarts," she said.  
  
"Hermione," began James. "I was just thinking that maybe we should go visit Remus. He's been too busy to get away, but I bet he'd be happy to see us even for just an hour."  
  
Hermione shook her head. "I don't want to intrude. He says he's been so busy and he doesn't have a lot of time. I don't think he wants me to come."  
  
"Nonsense," said James dismissively. "Of course he'd want to see us. I bet he just doesn't want us to be put out. Come on, what do you say?"  
  
She didn't need much convincing and her face lit up. "Yeah, that'd be great. When?"  
  
"How about tonight? Sirius, are you free?"  
  
Sirius shot a cool look at his traitorous best friend. "Yeah, I'm free," he said evenly.  
  
"Great," said James enthusiastically.  
  
Hermione was practically jumping with contained glee. "I better get to your parent's house," she said trying to maintain her composure. "I don't know how I'm going to get through the day." With a pop, she disapparated.  
  
James looked solemnly at Sirius, who was staring at him with a controlled expression. "Sorry mate," he said sincerely. "I'm only doing it for your own good. Stop by around six if you want and we'll go." He gave his best friend one more sympathetic look before disapparating.  
  
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Sirius had fully intended not to join them. He didn't care if she went and saw Remus, but that didn't mean he had to watch their happy reunion. Still he found himself arriving at the Potter's at precisely six o'clock.  
  
The first person he saw was Hermione. She looked beautiful. Her hair was all shiny and falling in waves around her face and her eyes were bright. She wore a simple scooped shirt paired with a black skirt and a pair of strappy sandles. She had obviously taken extra care with her appearance tonight. Sirius's throat tightened just looking at her.  
  
"What?" asked Hermione patting her hair self consciously.  
  
"Nothing," said Sirius quickly. He swallowed. "You look nice."  
  
She grinned widely. "Thanks. James is just waiting for us," she said leading the way back into the house. Sirius followed her slowly, wondering why he was there.  
  
James seemed mildly surprised that he was there, but was glad nonetheless. He had felt bad about what he had done all day, but he still believed it was for the best. Sirius had spent the better part of six months pining for Hermione and he knew she liked him back, but her heart belonged to Remus. It was obvious to everyone. James hoped that when Sirius saw their reunion it might set things straight for him.  
  
"Ready?" James asked.  
  
Hermione nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"All right, let's go," said James and with a pop he disapparated. Hermione and Sirius glanced at each other and disapparated as well. They all found themselves in front of Remus's front door and suddenly  
  
Hermione found she was very nervous. She hadn't seen his parents since the night she had run off with Sirius. She wondered how they would react to them all showing up on their doorstep. James, unaware of her trepidation, leaned forward and knocked on the door. Sirius, who could see the sudden tension in her body, very lightly brushed his hand against the side of her arm. She felt his reassuring touch and took a deep relaxing breath.  
  
Mrs. Lupin answered the door and was surprised to see them.  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Lupin," began Hermione.  
  
"Hello, Hermione," she returned politely.  
  
"We've come to see Remus," she continued. "Is he here?"  
  
"No," said Mrs. Lupin in surprise.  
  
"Has he not come home from work yet?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Hermione," said Mrs. Lupin. "Robert and I haven't seen Remus since the two of you came for the weekend. He sent us a letter a few weeks ago telling us he wasn't coming home for the summer. He said he found a job and an apartment."  
  
"What?" said Hermione in shock. "He told me he found a job here and he was living at home."  
  
They could all see the sudden worry etched in Mrs. Lupin's face. "I hope you won't think me unkind for saying this, but maybe he doesn't want you to know where he is. After the way you ran off with that boy..." she trailed off and looked directly at Sirius.  
  
Hermione was too upset to respond, but Sirius couldn't let Mrs. Lupin believe the things she was insinuating about Hermione. "She didn't run off with me," he said firmly. "She had to go somewhere and I gave her a ride."  
  
Mrs. Lupin regarded Sirius with suspicion, but didn't comment.  
  
"I'm sorry," Hermione interrupted. "But are you sure that's what he said. I just can't believe he's been lying to me."  
  
Mrs. Lupin pursed her lips together. "I'm quite sure, Hermione. I'm sorry," she said and went to close the door.  
  
"Wait" said Hermione. "Where is he? Do you know?"  
  
"Remus is my son," said Mrs. Lupin. "Even if I don't agree with his choices I am learning to respect them. If he doesn't want you to know where he is I won't break his confidence." With that she shut the door.  
  
Hermione stared at the door for a few seconds before turning to the boys. "He must have had a good reason," she said half heartedly. "It doesn't mean anything."  
  
"Hermione, are you okay?" asked Sirius softly.  
  
"Why would he lie?" she returned, her voice barely a whisper.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
She was thoughtful for several moments before raising her chin a bit and taking a breath. "I guess we better get home, then," she said formerly.  
  
"Hermione," began Sirius, but it was too late, she had already disapparated.  
  
James and Sirius arrived at Godric's Hollow moments later, but she wasn't there. They gave each other a concerned look before apparating to Sirius's apartment. She wasn't there either. Sirius suggested trying Hogwarts next, but James vetoed the idea. "She obviously wants to be alone."  
  
Sirius narrowed his eyes at James. "You just had to be so damn interfering, didn't you?"  
  
James accepted the criticism with ease because he did feel the guilt of it. He was the one who had suggested visiting Remus. He had hoped to force Sirius to face the truth that there was no hope for him and Hermione, but now he didn't know what to think.  
  
Sirius sank onto his couch. "You'll let me know if she doesn't come home tonight?" he questioned.  
  
James nodded and when Sirius didn't say anything else, he realized that he should go. Sirius was obviously not interested in conversing with him. Besides, he needed to see Lily. She would know what to do. Women knew what to do in these kinds of situations, men only bungled things, just like he had.

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A/N: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for all the reviews, I never imagined there would be over six hundred. It's kind of amazing. The reviews do keep me writing fast. It helps to know that I'm writing something that's enjoyable and people want to read, so keep em coming.


	31. Chapter 31

Remus surveyed the dozens of boxes stacked all around him and suppressed a groan. He was dead tired, having worked the late shift the night before at his second job. He sat heavily on one of the large cardboard boxes and allowed himself to indulge in his favorite past time, daydreaming of Hermione.

He closed his eyes and summoned her and just like that, there she was, first her eyes, then her hair and finally her smile. He wished he could reach out and trace her lips with his fingertip, or better yet with his own mouth.

"Lupin!" called a sharp voice. "I'm not paying you to sit on your ass. Get those boxes of canned vegetables to aisle ten."

Remus immediately jumped up. "Yes, Mr. Snyder," he said quickly. He lifted the heavy box with considerably more ease than he had been able to two weeks ago. It was surprising how quickly your muscles responded when it was demanded of them, of course they punished him at night, but he'd known pain far worse than strained muscle ache.

Remus carried the box to aisle ten where he proceeded to unload three dozen cans of mixed peas and carrots onto the shelf. "Morning, Remus," called an irritatingly cheerful voice.

"Morning Timmons," replied Remus, without pausing from his work.

"Whoa, you look like shit. Don't tell me you pulled another late night shift at that store over on Beecham Road.

"Guilty," said Remus, stifling a yawn.

"Why are you killing yourself, man?" asked the boy Remus had called Timmons. His full given name was Todd Timmons, but he hated his first name and everyone just called him by his surname.

"I already told you," said Remus. "I need the money. You could help me out here," Remus pointed out.

"Nah, I don't start for another ten minutes. I got here early to ask you a favor."

Remus looked at him warily. A favor for Timmons usually consisted of taking over a shift for him.

"I've got this really hot date Saturday, but I'm supposed to be here three to ten. Can you cover?"

"Sorry, Timmons," said Remus. "But if I don't arrange for some time to sleep soon, I'm going to collapse."

"But I checked the schedule. You have Sunday and Monday off. You can sleep then," argued Timmons.

It was true, he did have Sunday and Monday off, but he also had an appointment with the full moon and he had planned on surprising Hermione Saturday. By then, it would be almost three weeks since they had seen each other. "I wish I could help you," said Remus.

"Oh, come on," Timmons begged. "I'll owe you big. Besides you said yourself, you could use the money. If you work Saturday it will mean overtime."

Remus paused. He had him there. The whole point of taking these crappy muggles stock boy jobs had been to earn money fast. He had tried, but no one in the wizarding world would give him a job and he hadn't wanted to ask his father for help. His pride wouldn't allow it. So he did the only thing he could. He left everything he knew and loved and went to work as a muggle.

Some days the only thing keeping him going was knowing what he was going to do with all the money he earned. Everything he was doing, he did with one single person in mind, Hermione and their future together. It had become very obvious to him that he needed Hermione. He needed her more than he'd ever needed any other person in his life.

He had accepted very early in his life that no woman would ever want him because of his abnormality. He had been fine with that, especially after meeting James, Sirius, and Peter at Hogwarts.

Remus had grown up surrounded with love. His parents adored him and showered him with affection, probably a bit too much, but he knew they were trying to compensate for the lack of love he'd feel from others. Then when he went to Hogwarts he was mildly surprised to find that he could have friendship too. And though they never said these things to each other, he loved them and knew they loved him back, but still he didn't believe he deserved any other kind of love.

He had watched during his school years as James bungled things with Lily, all the while knowing that eventually James would get the girl. He had seen Sirius be the object of affection for more girls than he could count and he was fine with that too. He had even believed, that Peter would eventually stop being so shy and find someone to settle down with.

And even as he knew all these things, Remus also knew that he would never be the type of man a girl fell in love with, not once they knew the truth. Until that day Hermione Granger had entered his life.

He had dreamed about her the first night they met. In his dream she had hovered over him and placed her hand on his cheek and even in his sleep he knew his heart was in trouble. It had been so easy to like her and even easier to love her and still he held back. But when he realized that she knew what he was and still wanted to be his friend, something had changed inside and scared him out of his mind.

Then many weeks later, she let him take her on a broom and then she let him kiss her. It had been the single most important moment of his life. It had allowed him to dream of a future he didn't know was possible.

"So what do you say?" repeated Timmons. "Saturday?"

Remus sighed. "Yeah sure, but you owe me."

"Thanks man," said Timmons excitedly, hurrying off down the aisle. "I owe you big."

Remus had emptied the box in front of him. He broke it down and tucked it under his arm, heading to the back to get another box.

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Hermione sat under their tree staring into the lake, contemplating whose tree it really belonged to. She once would have said it belonged to Harry, Ron, and herself, but a few months ago she began to feel that the tree belonged more to Remus and herself.

She and Remus had shared so many wonderful memories under this tree, so many kisses and long talks. She wondered now if they'd ever sit here together again.

She had never been as embarrassed as she had been tonight. She had to find out about his deceit from his mother and in front of his two best friends. He had made her look like a fool and Hermione hated looking like a fool.

She couldn't for the life of her understand why he had lied. She had no explanation. 'Maybe,' she thought. 'He's punishing me. After all I left without even bothering to tell him.' Even as she thought it, she didn't believe it was true. This was Remus, he wasn't vindictive. He wouldn't do this just to spite her. He loved her. But even that thought now had had a question mark attached to it.

She didn't know how long she sat under the tree, but it was long enough for the sun to set and the stars to start to pop into view. She loved Hogwarts at night. It was so peaceful and beautiful. It had taken her breath away that first boat ride over and had continued to do so every night after that. She loved the stars. They were the only constant thing in her life. In 1998 or 1978 the stars were the same.

As she sat watching the stars, her eye caught another object in the sky, the moon, nearly full. She had made sure Remus left with enough Wolfsbane potion to get through the month, but she knew he would need more for the next month and she had it waiting. She had thought she'd be able to give it to him in person, but that seemed unlikely.

She picked herself up and headed for the castle. She kept the extra vials of Wolfsbane in her office. Dumbledore had been kind enough to let her use Hogwarts facilities without question and she had stockpiled enough Wolfsbane potion for months. She would send Remus a few more vials just in case and while she was at it, she would send him a note.

Hermione sat at her desk contemplating what she would write. She thought about confronting him outright, but it wasn't really something she knew how to put on paper. Instead, she decided to give him one last chance to be honest with her.

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Remus collapsed on the worn couch in the middle of his tiny room. He looked around in disgust. The room was dark and ugly and when he first moved in, smelled like someone or something had crawled into one of its four corners and died. He was one of many single men renting rooms in this poor excuse for a boarding house.

He was living as modestly as possible, wanting to be able to tuck as much money away as he could. He could do it too, especially when the prize would be being with Hermione for the rest of his life. He tried to make himself comfortable on the lumpy couch and would have been asleep in seconds had it not been for the owl.

He got up quickly and untied the package from the owl's leg. With a small hoot, the owl flew back through the open window. Remus tore open the package to discover several vials of potion and a note. He set the potion aside carefully and opened the letter. His heart soared with joy when he realized who it was from.

_Dear Remus,_

_I hope all is going well with your new job. I've enclosed a few extra vials of Wolfsbane potion in case you run out. I know you've been exceptionally busy at work, but I miss you, so I've decided since you won't come to me, I'll come to you. I'll arrive Saturday, so we can spent some time together before the full moon on Sunday._

_Love Hermione_

Remus sighed heavily. He hated lying to her, but it had to be done. He never wanted her to know that he couldn't find a job in their world. He wanted to prove to both of them that he would be able to support her. Now he had to lie again and it had to be a good one to prevent her from going to his house. He had hoped that she might not question him about not asking her to come because of his mother.

He read the letter again. It sounded oddly formal. In fact it didn't sound anything like his Hermione. He reread one sentence, _so I've decided since you won't come to me, I'll come to you_. It was the word _won't_ that caught his attention. Surely she didn't think he was staying away deliberately.

Something in him told him that something was wrong. He knew he had stayed away too long, with too little explanation. He looked at the clock on the far wall. It was nearly midnight and he was sure the Potter's would be asleep, but he knew he had to see her. He just knew that if he didn't see her tonight all his plans were going to fall apart.

Remus got up and dressed as quickly as possible. He was going to see Hermione and no matter how nervous he was feeling, nothing could make him really upset knowing that.

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Hermione stayed at Hogwarts for a few hours after she had sent the letter and package to Remus. Since she didn't know where he was, she had no idea when he would get her note.

As peaceful as Hogwarts was, she didn't want to spend any more time there. It was too quiet and it left her too alone with her thoughts. She left the castle and strolled to Hogsmeade. It was nearly midnight, but she felt safe in this familiar place. She didn't want to go back to the Potter's. What she really wanted was to be able to go someplace that she called home.

She didn't have a home to go to. She had friends and she had work, but she didn't have that safety net that was home. She doubted that even if she found a place of her own it would be home. It would just be the place where she lived. Home was wherever the people you loved were. Ultimately that was why Remus's lies had been so devastating. She had actually begun to hope that she might be able to make a home with him. All she felt now was stupid and silly.

Even though she didn't want to go to the Potter's, she still was dead tired and desperate for sleep. She supposed she could have stayed at Hogwarts, but she didn't want to be alone either. There was only one place she could go and she hoped he wouldn't be too put out when she arrived.

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Remus stood outside of Godric's Hollow, feeling his heart pounding in anticipation. It was late and he felt terrible for being there so late, but it was necessary so he knocked.

The door flew open almost immediately, as if someone had been waiting to answer it. James's face went from relief to shock in about a half second flat. "Remus," he said in surprise.

"Hey James," returned Remus. "I know it's late. I'm sorry if I woke you guys up."

"Your mother told you," said James, half in statement half in question.

Remus shook his head. "I don't know what you mean."

James frowned deeply. "Why are you here?"

Remus gave a nervous kind of laugh. "I came to see Hermione. Are you okay, James?"

James took a deep breath. "Hermione's not here," he said softly.

Remus checked his watch to make sure what time it was. "Where is she? It's nearly one in the morning."

"I don't know," said James miserably. "Listen mate, I've got to tell you. We went to your house tonight, to see you."

Remus paled visibly. "Oh God," he breathed.

"It was my fault. She and Sirius... and I was worried... I was only trying to do the right thing," James's thoughts were a jumble, confusing and chilling Remus all at the same time.

"Where is she?" Remus repeated desperately.

"I don't know," insisted James. "After we talked to your mum, she disapparated. Sirius and I checked here and at his place, but she wasn't there. I even went to Lily's in case she showed up there."

"Where else could she be this late?" asked Remus.

James shrugged. "Remus, what the hell is going on? Where have you been?"

"Working," returned Remus simply.

"Your mum said that you had found a job and an apartment and that you weren't coming home. Where is this job? And why did you lie about it?"

Remus narrowed his eyes at James, suddenly feeling very angry. "You could never understand. You have everything. You have family and a home and a future, you're a Potter."

"You have those same things," countered James, not understanding where his anger was coming from. "So what if I'm a Potter, you're a Lupin, just because you're family isn't as old as mine doesn't mean it's any less respectable."

"No, I'm a werewolf," shouted Remus. "I'm not anything but that in the eyes of the world. It doesn't matter that I had better grades in school than all of you, when it came down to it, all people saw was the wolf."

James looked down at his feet feeling ashamed. They accepted Remus so readily that it was easy to forget that others didn't. They didn't care that he was a werewolf, hell they used it for their own benefit. It never occurred to him how hard it would be once Remus left the safety of Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry," mumbled James. "You're right. I didn't know."

"I've got to find Hermione," said Remus desperately. "She thinks I lied and I did, but I did it all for her."

"I help you, mate," said James quickly. "Just let me get my wand."

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Hermione stood indecisively outside of Sirius's apartment. It wasn't fair that she always ran to him when she felt bad. She should be strong enough to figure stuff out on her own, but right now she didn't want to think anymore. She wanted to be taken care of, so she took a deep breath and knocked.

It took over a minute and she was about to knock again, when Sirius answered the door. He was wearing nothing but a faded pair of sweatpants and his longish black hair was a bit ruffled. "Hermione," he said in surprise.

"Hi," she returned softly. "I'm sorry it's so late, but I didn't know where else to go."

Sirius stared at her barely breathing. Her eyes were red and her face was puffy from crying. She looked so tired and fragile.

"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked in a soft, almost inaudible voice.

"Sure," he murmured, "of course." He held the door open wide for her. "Come in."

Hermione stepped into the apartment and Sirius quickly closed the door behind them.

"Where have you been?" he asked. "I was worried."

Hermione shrugged. "Around, I needed to think."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Did you..."

"I don't want to talk about tonight," Hermione said cutting him off. "I don't want to think about it anymore."

Sirius nodded. "Okay," he agreed. "That's fine. We don't have to."

"I just want some sleep," she said, almost pitifully.

"Okay," he said again. "Let's put you to bed and in the morning we'll figure everything out." He started to lead her to his bedroom.

"Wait," she said. "I can't put you out of your room again. It would be the second night in a row."

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch," returned Sirius firmly. "My father didn't teach me much that is worth holding on to, but he did teach me how to be a gentleman. You'll sleep in my room. And you can borrow one of my shirts to sleep in, might as well get comfortable."

Hermione surprised him by grabbing him in a fierce hug. Feeling her touch the bare skin of his chest sent currents through his body. When his wits returned, he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Shh," he murmured. "It'll be okay, I promise. Everything looks better in the morning."

She sniffed loudly. "What am I going to do when you start Auror training? You won't have time to help me out of all my problems."

"I'll always have time for you, Hermione," said Sirius, his throat growing tight. "I love you."

"I love you too," returned Hermione. She gave him one last tight squeeze, before entering Sirius's bedroom. "Good night," she said, before closing the door.

Sirius rested his head heavily against the wall next to his bedroom door. "No, I love you," he murmured.

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"Hurry up, James," said Remus impatiently. He was so worried about Hermione. Who knew where she was and what she was thinking of him right now.

"I'm coming," said James, hurrying outside to join Remus, his wand in hand. "Where are we going?"

"Maybe Sirius has heard from her or Lily?" suggested Remus.

"Maybe," agreed James. "Should we head to Sirius's first? I don't really fancy waking up Lily's family at this time of night if we don't have to."

Remus nodded his agreement. "Meet you there," he said before apparating.

They were outside of Sirius's door within seconds. It was a risk to apparate where muggles might be walking by, but it was also one o'clock in the morning and they were both pretty sure they were safe.

Remus knocked sharply on Sirius's front door.

Inside, Sirius had just laid down on the couch. He knew he was never going to be able to sleep. His tortured thoughts weren't going to let him.

He was surprised by the knock on the door. He certainly wasn't expecting any other late night visitors. Grumbling, he kicked off the covers and padded to the front door, still clad in only a pair of sweatpants. He threw it open, only to be confronted by both James and Remus.

"Sorry to wake you," said Remus quickly. "But have you seen Hermione."

"Where the hell have you been," returned Sirius angrily.

"Not now, Sirius," said James warningly from behind Remus.

"Then when?" spat Sirius. He turned his attention back to Remus. "Do you have any idea what you put her through tonight?"

"Have you seen her," asked Remus hopefully.

"Are you listening to me?" Sirius shouted back.

"We're going to wake your neighbors," interrupted James. "Maybe we should take this inside."

Remus grew angry. "Don't yell at me, Black. I don't know why you think this is any of your business."

"She is my business," said Sirius.

"No, she's my business," countered Remus. "I know you wish it were different, but she's my girlfriend, not yours."

"You're not acting like it," sneered Sirius. "Lying to her, making her feel like a fool."

"Sirius," said a tired voice from inside the apartment. "Who's there? What's going on?"

Remus's face went white when he recognized the voice. He pushed past Sirius into the apartment to find his girlfriends standing in the middle of the room in a shirt and pair of sweatpants that were obviously too big for her and therefore not her own.

"Remus," Hermione said in shock.

Remus took one more look at Hermione, then turned back to Sirius and punched him square in the jaw sending him sprawling on the floor.

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A/N: You all didn't really think I was going to be having Remus do anything less than honorable did you? I can't believe how many of you suggested he was cheating on Hermione or working for the dark side. Shame, shame, shame. Have you no faith in him? Okay, I'll admit it. I set it up that way and I'm glad it worked.

I consider this story to be one main story with a lot of interconnected little stories. Kind of like those one hour drama's on T.V., so we're about to be done with this little story arc and I'm heading back to the main story.

Here's a tiny spoiler, for those of you who don't want to know. STOP READING NOW!

Anyway, for you James and Lily fans out there, there's going to be a lot more of them in the upcoming chapters. If you all have your handy dandy HP timelines out, you'll realize that they are just two short years away from becoming parents which means they have to be married soon and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Hope you liked this chapter. I think it's even better than the last, but really that's for you to decide. Let me know.


	32. Chapter 32

Hermione stood stock still staring at the scene unfolding in front of her in shock. James had thrown himself between Remus and Sirius and was pushing Remus back. Sirius seemed kind of dazed and was rubbing his jaw.

The last person Hermione expected to see this night was Remus. Her first reaction was pure joy. He was here. Everything was going to be all right. In those first seconds she couldn't even remember why she had been angry. Then Remus hit Sirius and all the uncertainty and anger she had been feeling all night came back to her with the force of that thrown punch.

"Remus!" she shouted angrily. Hermione moved quickly to Sirius and knelt next to him. She looked up at Remus, who was being held forcibly by James, and gave him a scathing look. "What is your problem?"

"My problem," returned Remus angrily. "What the hell are you doing here in those," he gestured at her attire. "Clothes," he spat.

"Sleeping," was the first word to come out of her mouth. It sounded ridiculous even as she was saying it. The whole situation seemed ridiculous to her.

Everyone was silent for several seconds. Finally, Hermione turned her attention back to Sirius. "Are you okay?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.

"I'll live," he muttered, still massaging his jaw.

"I want to know what you're doing here," interrupted Remus. "The last I checked, you were staying with the Potters, not him," he finished jerking his head toward Sirius.

Hermione stood to her full height and advanced on Remus and James. "Let him go James," she commanded with such force that James immediately took two steps back. "You," she said pushing one finger into Remus's chest, "are in no position to ask me any questions. And the last time I checked, you were supposed to be staying at your parents."

Remus didn't answer her. His heart felt so constricted. Every time he looked at her, all he could see were Sirius's oversized shirt and sweatpants on her tiny frame.

"Well, don't you have anything to say?" she asked, not sounding as if he could give any answer that would satisfy her.

"I don't know anymore," he returned quietly. He looked defeated and suddenly all of the fight drained out of her.

She couldn't stop the first tear and she angrily wiped it away, ashamed at her lack of control. She hadn't wanted him to see her cry. He reached out and touched her shoulder. It wasn't much, but it felt like everything to both of them. She had wished for him all night and now he was here. She was reminded daily of everything she had lost and she knew she couldn't take anymore.

"I think," began James seriously, "that the two of you need to sit down and talk to each other."

Remus looked at Hermione hopefully. She nodded once. "I'll just get dressed," she said softly. "Maybe we can take a walk."

He looked past her down to where Sirius was still sitting on the floor. "I'll wait for you outside," he said trying to unclench his jaw.

"I won't be long," she said before returning to Sirius's bedroom and closing the door behind her. Remus left the apartment leaving James and Sirius alone.

"He had a good reason," said James before Sirius could speak.

"For hitting me?" asked Sirius incredulously.

"No," said James quickly, "for lying."

"Didn't we always know he would," returned Sirius. "It's Remus we're talking about here."

James approached Sirius and helped him to his feet. "This thing with Hermione has to stop tonight. You see that now, don't you?"

"I can't," returned Sirius. "I don't want to let her go."

"Bloody hell, Sirius," James shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Would you lower your voice," hissed Sirius.

"She is not yours to let go," returned James, though he did lower his voice. He threw his hands up in frustration. "I can see that everything I say goes in one ear and out the other. I'm through," he said firmly. "You do whatever you want, but just remember one thing. It's not only your heart you're gambling with. We've all been friends for a very long time. We've already lost Peter. I won't choose between you and Remus. I can't. It isn't fair." With a frustrated grunt, James disapparated.

Sirius stared at his bedroom door willing Hermione to emerge. She did only a few minutes later.

"You're not really going to go down there," he asked.

"Of course I am," she responded. "I have to know what's going on."

Sirius crossed the room, eliminating the space between them. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard, trying to pour everything into this one moment.

Hermione held him back, if only to keep her balance. She was in shock. Sirius was kissing her and she knew it was wrong, but at the same time she couldn't help traveling back to their first kiss and remembering how thrilling it had been.

"Stay," he said when he pulled his mouth away from hers, though he kept her securely in his embrace. "Don't leave me." She ached at the tone of his voice.

"Sirius," she returned breathlessly. "Don't do this. It's not fair."

"I'd love you forever," he promised.

"So would he," she replied and he could see that she was crying.

"Would he?" challenged Sirius. "I'm here. I've been here. You said it yourself."

Hermione took his face in her hands and kissed him gently. "I do love you," she said softly. "But I have to go. He's waiting for me. He needs me."

"I need you," said Sirius, tightening his grip on her.

She shook her head and smiled. "No, you don't. Remember, I knew you both. I know things about you that you don't know of yourselves yet. You're both going to be great wizards. But he's my match."

Sirius's hold on her loosened and his arms went slack by his side. "I really can't win," he said to himself. "James was right. I am an idiot."

"No," said Hermione. "It's my fault. I suspected you had feelings for me. I should have been more careful."

Sirius didn't respond. He was still looking at her, but it was as if she wasn't there anymore. Hermione quietly stepped around him and went to the front door. "I'm sorry if I hurt you," she said with some difficulty before slipping outside and closing the door behind her.

Hermione took her first proper breath since Sirius kissed her once she was alone. She was leaning against his front door. She felt like she had left a little piece of her inside with him. "I can't think about him," she mumbled to herself. "Not now. Remus, I have to see Remus." She pushed herself off the door and hurried down the hallway and down the stairs to where Remus was waiting for her.

"Hi," she said, trying to smile.

"Hi," he returned. They stared at each other for a few minutes. "Shall we walk?" he asked and he held his hand out to her.

She took it with a smile and entwined her fingers through his. It was well after one in the morning at the streets were mostly deserted, though the occasional car full of drunken muggles and hopefully one sober one passed them.

"I missed you," he said.

She nodded. "I missed you too." Then she took a deep breath and launched ahead. "Where have you been? And don't you dare say your parents because I know you weren't there."

He didn't bother to deny it. "You're right. I wasn't there."

"Well," she prodded.

"I did get a job," he said with a sigh. "But it's nothing you'd be proud of."

Hermione stared at him wondering what kind of work could be so bad. Then her heart constricted. "You're not doing anything illegal, are you?" she choked out.

"Of course not," said Remus quickly. He sighed in exasperation. "I'm working for muggles, in two of their food stores."

Hermione laughed in relief, but it was the wrong thing to do. Remus dropped her hand angrily. "I did it for you," he said sharply. "Do you think I wanted to work for muggles?"

"What's so bad about muggles?" asked Hermione defensively. "My mum and dad are muggles."

"Nothing's wrong with Muggles," said Remus quickly. "But I'm a wizard. I should be working for wizards."

"Why aren't you?" asked Hermione carefully.

"I couldn't find a bloody job," returned Remus.

"But it's only been a few weeks since we've been out of school. You can't have looked everywhere."

"I needed a job right away."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I wanted to prove to you that I could provide," said Remus, clearly embarrassed.

"Provide for what?"

"For us," said Remus obviously. "For our family."

"What?" breathed Hermione, finally beginning to understand him.

"Did you know I was going to ask you to live with me, that weekend we went away?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Why didn't you?"

He looked at her pointedly. "You left me."

Hermione hung her head. "This again? Are you ever going to forgive me for that?"

Remus sighed in frustration. "I think we're getting off the topic."

"What is the topic?" asked Hermione.

"I don't even know anymore."

Hermione chewed on her bottom lip. "For the first time I don't know what to say to you? I don't understand why you thought you had to lie to me or why you felt it was necessary to hit Sirius?"

"What is it with you and Sirius?" asked Remus through clenched teeth. "Why do you always run to him?"

"Remus, we're friends."

Remus laughed. "If he had his way, the two of you would be much more than friends."

Hermione couldn't deny it. "He has a crush on me," she said carefully, knowing she was understating the situation.

"He's in love with you," corrected Remus.

She took a deep breath. "Yeah well, I'm in love with you. So why don't we just forget about Sirius and decide what's next for the two of us."

"God this is hard," said Remus. "It shouldn't be this hard."

"Remus, being in a relationship is work," Hermione laughed. "We're not always going to get along and sometimes we're going to fight, but there's no one I would rather work this hard for. And all you have to decide is if you feel the same way about me. Because if you don't..."

Remus advanced on her and silenced her with a long kiss. Hermione kissed him back and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to her as possible. Remus ended the kiss and trailed his hands over her shoulders and down her arms. She shivered at his touch. "I missed this," he whispered.

"I don't want to be apart ever again," whimpered Hermione. "Promise me."

Remus gave her a funny look, as if he were seeing her for the first time. Then, he got down on one knee and looked up at Hermione who had covered her mouth with both her hands. "Wait, you don't have to do this, not if you don't want to."

He laughed and shook his head. "You really don't get how much I love you. How could you think I wouldn't want to do this?" He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "I don't have a ring or much of anything really, but I do love you and I promise I'll do whatever it takes to keep you happy and comfortable."

"Oh Remus," breathed Hermione. "I love you."

"Hermione," he said smiling, because he knew what her response would be. "Will you marry me?"

She nodded emphatically. "Yes, I will."

He jumped up and embraced her tightly, then tipped her head back and kissed her. She melted into the kiss. It was so different than Sirius. It was warm and gentle, but still full of passion and love. The two kisses she had shared with Sirius had left her feeling almost like she had been burnt; they were so hot and demanding.

"I love you," he murmured against her lips.

"I love you," she said back, pushing all thoughts of Sirius from her mind. He didn't belong there, not during this moment. "Take me home."

He looked at her questioningly. "Home?"

She nodded. "Take me home."

He hesitated before whispering his address in her ear. "Meet me there."

Hermione was surprised by her surroundings when she apparated. She wondered for a second if she had apparated to the wrong place. Remus arrived a few seconds after her.

"It's not much," he admitted.

She couldn't help but agree. "I think together we can do better." She shook her head with a small laugh. "Why did you think you had to hide this from me?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, now. It seemed important at the time that I prove I could earn a living."

"You are one of the most brilliant wizards I've ever met. I know the kind of prejudices you face, but you will find something."

"You know if you become my wife..."

"When I'm your wife," corrected Hermione with a smile.

He smiled back. "When you become my wife," he amended. "You'll face the same prejudices I do."

"I don't care. I've certainly been called a mudblood often enough."

"It'll be worse," warned Remus.

"It doesn't matter," she said with a shrug. He opened his mouth to speak, but she placed her hand over his mouth. "It doesn't matter," she repeated. She replaced her hand with her mouth and they got lost in each other.

Remus pulled her over to the couch, never breaking the kiss. His lips slowly moved to that soft spot on her collarbone that he loved.

"Remus," murmured Hermione.

"Hmm," he responded.

"You know you don't have to worry about Sirius," she said delicately. She couldn't move on with her life with Remus until this was cleared up between them.

He pulled away from her. "He's in love with you."

She nodded. "I know. It's my fault."

"Why?" asked Remus cautiously. "What did you do?"

"I depend on him too much," she admitted. "I'm use to having boy's as best friends. I just feel comfortable talking to him."

"You can talk to me."

"You're my boyfriend."

"Fiancé," he corrected.

"Fiancé," she amended. "And I do talk to you, but I talk to him too."

"You could talk to James," said Remus.

She shook her head. "It's too hard to talk to him."

Remus crossed his arms and sat back on his couch. "I don't want you alone with Sirius anymore."

Hermione hesitated. She couldn't throw Sirius off, but at the same time she could understand why Remus asked it of her. "I can't stop being his friend and neither should you."

"He's no friend of mine," said Remus stubbornly.

"Nothing happened," she lied. She knew she'd never be able to explain what was between them. She didn't really know herself. "But if it's important to you, we can take a break."

"I don't want to force you to choose," said Remus backing off a bit. "I don't want to be one of those people."

"You're not," assured Hermione. "Besides, there's no choice. I love you. I want to spend my life with you." She yawned.

"Tired?" he asked with a smile.

She nodded. "Exhausted. You have no idea what kind of a day this has been."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be. It all turned out okay." She cuddled closer to him on the couch. "I can't believe we're going to get married."

"Believe it," Remus said firmly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and settled her against his chest. "I'll get you a ring as soon as I can."

"I don't need a ring," said Hermione. "I'd rather find a place to live."

"Move in together?" asked Remus. "Before we're married?"

She laughed. "I didn't know you were so old fashioned."

"I'm not," he insisted.

"I love the Potter's, really I do, but I want a place of my own. I want somewhere to call home."

"I'll give you that," he promised.

"But not here," she said firmly surveying his room. "I can't believe you live here."

"It's not so bad."

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. "This place is a dump," she insisted. "You're not staying here anymore."

"Hermione," he began.

"No," she said cutting him off. "I won't be able to sleep knowing you're here. You should go home."

"I work near here and I work for muggles so it's not like I can apparate to work."

"That's another thing," said Hermione. "You don't work for muggles anymore. You can find something better. We'll go to Dumbledore."

"No," said Remus sharply. "I'm not going to anyone. I can get a job by myself."

Hermione turned to face him. "There's nothing wrong with getting help," she insisted. "Do you honestly think I would have had an easy time finding a job with no past? I'm grateful for all that Dumbledore's done for me."

"Let's not argue about this," begged Remus.

"Okay," agreed Hermione reluctantly. "What should we talk about then?"

"Do we have to talk," he whispered in her ear.

She smiled shyly. "No." He leaned in and kissed her gently at first and then with more passion. He pushed her back on the couch until she was completely under him. They couldn't stop touching each other.

"I've missed you," he whispered. "I dreamed of this."

She moaned in response. "Don't ever leave again."

"I won't," he promised, before he got lost in her mouth again.

"Oh Remus," she sighed longingly.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked quietly.

She paused, knowing what he was asking. They looked into each other's eyes. "No," she whispered back. "Don't stop." She put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled his mouth to hers again. "Don't ever stop."

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Hermione couldn't stop smiling the next morning. Remus called out of work sick and took her to breakfast. She had sent an owl to Hogwarts letting Dumbledore know that she wouldn't be in to work today and a second owl to the Potter's letting them know that she would be bringing Remus to the house for dinner.

She felt different somehow, older. Remus had been all tenderness and love. It didn't matter where they had been or how the day had started. All that mattered was that she was with him.

"You keep smiling," said Remus. They were sitting in a booth, both on the same side and his arm was draped lazily around her shoulder.

She blushed. They had been as intimate with each other as two people could be and somehow she suddenly felt shy around him.

He kissed the top of her head. "I can't stop smiling either," he said softly.

When they finished breakfast, they went for a walk and spent the day talking and catching each other up on the last two weeks of their lives. Before they were ready to be with other people, it was time to head to Godric's Hollow. Hermione was sure everybody would know everything as soon as they saw her and just that thought caused her to blush.

Lily had come over to the Potter's for dinner as well. She pulled Hermione aside immediately and maneuvered them to an empty part of the house.

Hermione could see the excitement all over her face. "What?" she asked eagerly.

She held out her hand. "James asked me to marry him," she practically squealed.

"Oh my God," squealed Hermione back. She took Lily's hand and admired the diamond on her finger. "Wow! Oh Lily, it's beautiful."

"I can't believe it," she said breathlessly. "James and I are going to be married. I'm so happy."

Hermione laughed. "I can see that. I'm so happy for both of you." She gave her a huge hug.

"You can't say anything," said Lily suddenly. "I promised James he could make the announcement at dinner, but I had to tell someone."

"I won't say anything," said Hermione. "I promise."

As soon as they returned to the living room, Hermione pulled Remus out of the room and whispered urgently. "James asked Lily to marry him."

"What?" exclaimed Remus.

"Shh," she shushed him quickly. "Lily made me promise not to say anything."

"Then why are you telling me?" asked Remus with a smile.

"Because I thought we should let them have this night. A girl only gets engaged once."

"You don't want to tell them about our engagement," said Remus.

"Not tonight," said Hermione. "Let's let them have tonight. Besides, I kind of like the fact that we're the only ones who know about this. It's romantic."

"We'll do whatever you want," agreed Remus. He'd give her anything she asked.

"Thank you," she said kissing him.

"Hey," said James. "No snogging in the living room. Time for dinner you two."

Remus walked past James to the dining room, but Hermione hung back. "How's Sirius?" she asked in a low voice.

James hesitated.

"Tell me," insisted Hermione.

"I went by this morning," said James slowly. "He wasn't there. He left a note."

"He left," said Hermione before James could finish.

James nodded. "He said he didn't know when he'd be back."

"Did he say where he was going?" she asked softly.

James shook his head. "He'll be okay," he said placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "He just needs time."

Hermione nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"Come on," said James. "Let's go to dinner."

He escorted her to the dining room where she sat next to Remus and James sat next to Lily. They were about ten minutes into dinner when James suddenly stood. He cleared his throat. "I have an announcement to make."

Hermione looked over at Lily and smiled.

"I just wanted to say that ever since the first day I saw Lily I knew she was special." He looked down at Lily and smiled and she beamed up at him. "I loved her at first sight, unfortunately it took her seven years to get use to the idea."

Everybody laughed gently.

"Anyway," said James. "Today I asked Lily to marry me and she said yes." He looked around expectantly. Everyone was grinning up at him. It wasn't exactly the response he expected. His shoulders slumped. "Something tells me you already know."

Everybody laughed again. "Son," began his father. "It was hard to miss Lily's beaming smile and the beautiful ring on her finger."

"We're very happy for you both," said his mother standing up and giving him a hug and then Lily.

Remus and Hermione stood up and congratulated their friends.

"I think this calls for a toast," said Mr. Potter. He went to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of champagne. He passed around glasses and they all raised them to Lily and James.

Hermione couldn't stop smiling.

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A/N: More Lily and James in the next chapter, I promise. This one didn't quite come out like I planned. I hope you all liked it.


	33. Chapter 33

After dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Potter volunteered to do the dishes so the newly engaged couple could have some time with their friends.

James and Lily sat opposite Hermione and Remus. None of them could stop smiling.

"So tell us how he proposed," demanded Hermione.

Lily giggled. "It was very romantic. He took me out to dinner to my favorite restaurant and then we went for a walk in this nearby park and he asked me."

"When do you think you'll have the wedding?" asked Hermione.

"Soon, I hope," said James.

"We don't want a long engagement," confirmed Lily. "We were hoping we could plan a small wedding in about a month."

"Wow," said Hermione. "That's really quick."

"Well," said Lily. "James is starting Auror training soon and he'll be away every couple of months. When he comes home, I want him to come to me."

"Where are you guys going to live?" asked Remus.

"We don't know yet," replied James. "Sometime between training and planning a wedding, we're going to look for a place."

"It seems like a lot to do," commented Remus.

"We'll help," said Hermione eagerly.

"I knew you would," said Lily excitedly. "I have so many ideas."

The girls moved closer to each other and were talking excitedly, completely leaving the guys out of their plans. While they were talking, James leaned over to Remus. "So it looks like things between you and Hermione are better."

Remus grinned. "You could say that."

"She didn't come back here last night," said James carefully.

"No, she stayed with me," Remus whispered back.

"I see," said James, trying to suppress the grin on his face. Then he grew serious. "I don't know if you want to know this, but Sirius is gone."

Remus didn't respond. His eyes went straight forward and he set his jaw.

"He didn't say where he was going or when he'd be back."

"Good," said Remus tersely.

"You can't mean that," said James.

"I doubt you'd be saying that right now if Sirius had been trying to seduce Lily."

"Give the guy a break, Remus," begged James. "He didn't try to seduce Hermione. He thinks he's in love with her. He tried to keep it to himself."

"Yeah," scoffed Remus. "It was the best kept secret of the group."

"Come on, Remus. We can't fight amongst each other. We have Voldemort and the Death Eaters to fight."

"Tell it to Sirius," said Remus angrily, standing up.

Hermione and Lily stopped talking abruptly and stared at Remus. "Remus," said Hermione tentatively.

Remus looked around at everyone and knew he didn't want to spoil the night. "I need some fresh air," he said shortly, before turning and leaving the room.

Hermione immediately stood and followed him out. She followed at a few paces behind him, giving him some space. "It's cold out here," said Remus, without turning around. "You should go back inside." It wasn't cold. It was the beginning of summer, but he was in a bad temper and he didn't want to unleash it on her.

"I'm fine," said Hermione easily. "What was that about in there?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he replied.

"I can see that," said Hermione.

Remus turned to Hermione slowly, but Hermione cut him off. "It is not in you to be this angry with your friends," she said. "I know it isn't."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do," she returned. "You've never been able to stay angry with them." She paused. "I want to tell you something about the future." She waited for him to interrupt, when he didn't she continued. "I've already told you that Sirius spent the better part of twelve years in Azkaban after James was murdered, but I never told you about what happened when you were reunited. I was there. You embraced him like you were welcoming your brother back from the dead. I will never know what it did to you to lose all three of your best friends in a matter of twenty four hours, but I do know what it was like when you got one of them back. Remus, please don't give up on Sirius. Forgive him."

Remus couldn't answer her. He hated to admit it, but he did hate fighting with his friends. He almost never did it. There were so few people in his life that he could count on, that he never wanted to alienate them.

"I'll think about it," he said grudgingly.

"Thank you," she returned happily, coming forward and giving him a big hug.

"I just said I'd think about it. I'm not promising anything."

Hermione smiled and kissed him. He rolled his eyes, knowing he had already promised everything.

"Now, I know there are many other things I'd rather be discussing tonight," said Hermione.

"Like?" questioned Remus.

"Like where are we going to stay tonight?" returned Hermione.

Remus laughed. "I'm going back to my place," he said. "Did you want to tag along?"

Hermione made a face. "Not particularly," she returned. "I thought maybe you could stay here."

"I don't think the Potter's would go for that."

"You could always apparate straight into my room," she suggested hopefully.

Remus gave her a look.

"Or maybe not," she said with a sigh. She rested her head on his shoulder and they wrapped their arms around each other. "We have to find a place."

"I agree," he said as he ran his hands down her side. "And soon."

"We've been out here a while," said Hermione. "I think they'll be missing us."

"I suppose you're right," he said reluctantly. "Let's go back inside."

They went back into the house to see the future Mr. and Mrs. Potter sitting with the current Mr. and Mrs. Potter. The three happy couples enjoyed the rest of their evening talking and laughing until it was time for Remus and Lily to return home. Hermione sat with James afterward alone in the living room.

"I'm very happy for you, James," she said. "I know you two will be very happy."

"I don't imagine this is much of a shock to you," he replied.

"Not really," she returned.

"I knew I'd marry Lily Evans the first day I saw her," began James, almost dreamily. "I was on the train headed for Hogwarts. Sirius and I had just met and already we were up for a spot of mischief. We went exploring the train to see what was going on and we wandered into her compartment. She was with Moony and Peter. They were all chatting and someone must have told her a joke or something because she was laughing. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. And I just knew, even at eleven, that I could never live without her."

Hermione smiled at James. "That I didn't know," she said.

"It's good that there are still a few surprises left for you," he returned. "How are things between you and Remus?"

"Good," said Hermione. "Better than good." She bit her bottom lip, afraid she would reveal too much.

"I want them both at my wedding," said James. "Do you think..." he trailed off.

"I'm working on him," assured Hermione. "Remus will forgive Sirius. He just needs time."

"I hope so," said James.

"Trust me," returned Hermione.

James yawned loudly. "I'm dead tired. I think I'll go to bed," he announced.

"Night," said Hermione. She returned the cup of tea she had been drinking to the kitchen before heading up to bed. She had just closed herself in her bedroom when an arm wrapped around her waist and a hand was clamped over her mouth. She struggled, but stopped when a voice whispered in her ear. "It's me."

Hermione whipped around, delighted to find herself in Remus's arms.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered. "I thought you said you wouldn't come."

"I couldn't stay away," said Remus. "I love you," he said huskily pulling Hermione tight against him. She reached up and draped her hands around his neck, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, sending shivers through each of them.

This was all so new to her and she was still nervous, but at the same time she felt completely safe in his arms. He leaned in closer to kiss her. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a slow gentle kiss.

They moved as one back to the bed, their lips never losing contact. When Hermione's knees hit the edge of the bed, they finally broke apart. Remus moved his hands slowly up her body and ran his hand along her neck. Slowly, he undid the top button of her blouse and kissed the bare skin he exposed.

Hermione lifted her chin, allowing him more access. As he kissed her, his hands worked the rest of her buttons and he pushed the blouse off her shoulders. Then he reached behind her and unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. As he reached to undo her bra strap, Hermione pulled away. She smiled mischievously at him. "You have entirely too much on."

He laughed as she slipped her hands under his shirt and pulled it upward. He raised his arms as she pulled the shirt over his head and then closed the small gap between them. Feeling skin against skin only increased their need for each other. Hermione fell back on the bed pulling Remus with her.

He stared straight into her eyes. "You are so beautiful."

She blushed and turned her head, but he wouldn't have it. He gently forced her to recapture his gaze. "You are beautiful and I love you."

"I love you," she returned, but she mouthed the words. She had completely lost her ability to speak. Then they got lost in each other again.

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The weeks that followed James and Lily's engagement announcement were quite hectic. James began Auror training about a week after as did Sirius. Sirius was still avoiding everyone. He spoke with James when he had to at Auror training, but always hurried home after their training was over. None of them had had a significant conversation with him since that night.

Voldemort and his forces seemed to intensify their attacks and the Order was very busy. Hermione often didn't leave Hogwarts until very late at night. Occasionally she had to spend the night at Hogwarts when any of the Order members were on overnight missions.

It soon became apparent to everyone that they couldn't plan James and Lily's wedding in just a month. They were all just too busy. Lily and James were forced to postpone the wedding until the end of summer.

Remus and Hermione were luckier. They found a flat in a relatively short amount of time and moved in immediately. Hermione couldn't have been happier. The only thing that put a strain on the couple's happiness was their relationship with Remus's parents. Hermione convinced Remus to keep their engagement between the two of them. She wanted to repair their relationship with his parents before dropping that bomb on them.

The problem was she had no idea how to do it.

"Lily, what would you do," Hermione asked. She, Lily, Remus and James were all together on a Saturday. They were out shopping for shoes for Lily's wedding. She and Hermione had been up and down Diagon Alley, but Lily couldn't seem to find the perfect shoes so they decided to go to some Muggles stores to look.

"I don't know, Hermione," replied Lily. "Maybe you could invite them over for dinner. Show them how happy you and Remus are."

"Maybe," considered Hermione. "I have to do something. Remus is too good to say anything, but I know he misses them. They were a close family. I hate that he has to choose between us."

"Are they speaking at all?" questioned Lily.

Hermione shrugged. "He says that if they don't accept me they don't accept him."

"What set his mother against you anyway?" asked Lily.

"It's complicated," returned Hermione. "She's just very protective of him and she doesn't really trust me. Not that I blame her. I'm protective of him too."

Lily spotted another store she wanted to look into. "Let's try in here," she called over her shoulder. Hermione glanced behind them. Remus and James were trailing several feet back. They were each holding a couple of shopping bags and neither looked completely happy about it.

"That's not even a shoe store," protested James. "Lily, you said we were going to buy a pair of shoes and then go to lunch. That was two hours ago. We still haven't found the shoes and I'm starving."

"James, I promise we'll eat after we look in here," said Lily.

"Don't believe it," murmured Remus to James.

Hermione stifled a giggle. "You two are such babies. It hasn't been that bad."

They all followed Lily into the shop. James immediately went to Lily's side to hurry her up. Hermione strode over to where Remus was standing. "Are you starving too?"

Remus gave her a look. "I sincerely hope you don't plan on putting me through all of this when we plan our wedding."

Hermione laughed. "A girl only gets married once," she returned. "If she's lucky," she added, teasing him.

"Only once," returned Remus firmly.

They wandered around the shop as Lily pulled James from one side of the store to the other. After about a half hour she gave up and they left the store empty handed.

"How is it," asked James loudly, "that a girl can spend an hour in a store and not buy a thing and a guy can walk into that same store and find exactly what he wants in five minutes?"

Hermione and Remus laughed, but Lily crossed her arms huffily. "We were only in there for fifteen minutes."

"Thirty," whispered Remus to Hermione. When Lily threw him an angry glare he hastily added, "but who's counting?"

"Come on, Lily," urged Hermione. "Let's get these two babies some food, before they pitch a fit."

Both James and Remus wanted to object to being called babies, but they were afraid that any additional conversation would delay their acquisition of food.

"How about that café?" suggested Lily. "It's a nice day and there are tables available outside."

They quickly made their way over and were soon sipping drinks and awaiting their food. They were in mid conversation, when suddenly Lily stood up and shouted. "Hey Sirius!"

James, Remus, and Hermione whipped around to see Sirius a few feet away walking with his neighbor Laura. Hermione shot a worried look at Remus, but his face was unreadable. He and Sirius hadn't spoken since the night Remus had hit him.

"Sirius, over here," Lily continued shouting, unaware of the almost immediate tenseness that descended on the table.

Sirius spotted his friends and Hermione could see him hesitating, but there was no way he would ignore them, so he made his way over to them.

"Hi," he said carefully.

"Hey Sirius," returned James. "Long time no see."

Sirius shrugged. "I've been a bit busy." He glanced over at Laura. "You guys remember my neighbor Laura?"

"Yeah," said Lily. "It's nice to see you again," she said to Laura.

"Same here," said Laura kindly.

There was an awkward silence. Sirius cleared his throat. "We were just going to get something to eat."

"Why don't you join us?" suggested Lily. "We've only just put in our order."

"I don't know," began Sirius.

"Join us, Padfoot," said James.

Hermione glanced at Remus, urging him with her eyes. He sighed almost imperceptibly. "Go on Sirius, sit," said Remus.

Sirius regarded Remus for a moment, before nodding. He pulled two chairs from a nearby table and the rest of them scooted to make room for the two additional people.

"So what's been going on with you?" asked Lily immediately.

"Oh you know, work..." he said carefully.

"James was telling us that they're really working you guys hard," commented Hermione.

"You work with Sirius?" Laura questioned James.

"Yeah," replied James. "We're both in training."

"Maybe you could shed a little light on his mysterious job," said Laura. "He says he's in security, but he never goes into much detail."

They all looked uncomfortably at each other. It was very clear that Laura did not know that they were all wizards and witches.

"It's kind of boring really," said James evasively. "There's not much to tell."

Laura laughed. "I'd nearly convinced myself that Sirius was a spy or something, he's so closed lipped about everything."

"Maybe I am," he said mysteriously.

She laughed and laid her hand on his arm. "You're always teasing. I never know when you're serious."

"That's Sirius for you," said Hermione. "Always joking." Their eyes met across the table, but Sirius quickly looked away. "You know, Sirius," continued Hermione. "We missed you at the last meeting. The Professor was asking for you," she said carefully.

Everyone looked at Hermione in horror. They were never supposed to mention the Order in public and especially not in front of a muggle.

"I spoke with '_the Professor'_ a couple of days ago," said Sirius, emphasizing the word Professor. "He knows I've been busy."

"Who's the Professor," asked Laura curiously.

"We should call the waiter back over," cut in Lily. "You two haven't even ordered yet." She made a big show of signaling for the waiter, which made her seem a bit batty, but everyone forgot the conversation they had just been having.

They settled into polite, but somewhat strained conversation for the rest of the meal. Remus spoke very little and Hermione spoke even less. She spent most of the meal watching the interaction between Sirius and Laura. They weren't outwardly affectionate toward each other, like James and Lily or even she and Remus were, but they were constantly touching each other. Every time Sirius told a joke, Laura would touch his arm or his hand and Sirius would often innocently brush against Laura's arm while reaching for his drink or the bottle of ketchup. Hermione couldn't figure out why, but it bothered her.

At the end of the meal, Sirius excused himself and went to the rest room. Hermione waited a few minutes, before excusing herself as well. She walked quickly toward the back of the restaurant and then did her best to seem busy by the wall of payphones while she waited for Sirius to emerge.

"Hey," she said brightly when he emerged.

"Hey," he returned. He glanced around Hermione, as if he were hoping to see anyone else.

"That was funny meeting up with you," said Hermione, her voice sounding falsely cheerful.

"Yeah," said Sirius. He chewed on his bottom lip. "I'm going to head back," he said, trying to move around her.

"Are you upset with me?" she asked quickly.

Sirius stopped walking and turned back to her. "No," he said firmly. "Of course not."

"It's just that I haven't seen you in practically a month," she said staring at the ground.

"I was giving you some space," replied Sirius honestly. "I thought it was best considering..." he trailed off.

She nodded. "I missed you," she said in a small voice.

He didn't reply.

Hermione sighed and looked up. She met his gaze and tried to smile. "You and Laura seem close," she said slowly.

Sirius shrugged. "We've been hanging out."

"Are you dating?" she asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

"I guess you could call it that," said Sirius quietly.

"Oh," said Hermione in a small voice. They stared at each other for a few seconds. "She doesn't know about you, does she?"

"Meaning?" prompted Sirius.

"She doesn't know you're a wizard," whispered Hermione.

"No," returned Sirius. "It hasn't come up yet."

Hermione laughed, but there was no joy in it. "It hasn't come up? That's ridiculous Sirius. You can't keep that from her."

"We're really not that serious yet," he said. "I don't see any reason to freak her out."

"If you think she'll freak out then she's probably not the right girl for you," said Hermione.

Sirius laughed hollowly. "The right girl? What would you know about that?"

"Sirius, don't be like that. I'm only saying this as a friend. If you're in a relationship with that girl then you should be honest."

"Like you're honest with Remus?" questioned Sirius.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hermione angrily. "I am honest with Remus."

"Sure you are. Then I'm assuming you told him about our kisses."

"You mean your kiss," returned Hermione.

"Kisses," corrected Sirius. "There was more than one, if I remember correctly. And I wasn't kissing alone. I may have initiated those kisses, but you kissed me back."

"I did not," denied Hermione, but she knew she was lying.

Sirius stepped closer to her, so that she was pinned against the wall. "You can tell yourself that pretty little lie if you want, but we both know the truth. You kissed me back over Christmas and again at the beginning of the summer, twice if I recall correctly, and I think I do."

"You promised we'd never bring up that kiss at Christmas again," said Hermione. "We agreed it was a mistake."

"You agreed."

"Sirius," Hermione begged. "Don't."

Sirius shook his head, but he didn't step away from her. "Do you know why I've made myself scarce for a month?" He didn't wait for her to try to answer. "It's because of this thing between us. You can deny it all you want, but this thing, this attraction or love or whatever you want to call it, is not one sided. I know you feel something for me too. You couldn't kiss me like you do if you didn't."

Hermione's mouth parted slightly, but no words came out. Sirius leaned in closer as if he were going to kiss her. "Remus and I are getting married," she blurted out, before his lips could touch hers.

Sirius immediately stepped back, but he said nothing.

"Remus and I are getting married," she repeated, wanting to make sure he heard her. "I love him and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him."

"What about going home?" asked Sirius curiously.

Hermione looked at him questioningly.

"You know, your own time," said Sirius as if he were talking to a very slow six year old.

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Wherever he is, is home," she replied coldly.

Sirius shook his head. "What about your family? What about Harry and Ron?"

Hermione pushed past him ignoring the question.

"You'll have to think about it eventually," said Sirius. Hermione looked over her shoulder at him. Their eyes locked. "You'll have to think about us too."

"There is no us," said Hermione coldly, before heading back to the table. She sat down next to Remus, who immediately put his arm around her shoulder.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" he asked.

She smiled at him. "Nothing, I'm fine."

He leaned over and kissed her temple. She sighed happily and rested her head against his shoulder. Sirius didn't know what he was talking about, she thought to herself. She loved Remus and they were going to be happy together. She felt nothing for Sirius but friendship.

A few minutes later, Sirius returned and took his seat next to Laura, but Hermione didn't look at him. She turned to Remus and whispered in his ear. "Let's go home," she said suggestively.

He cocked his head at her and grinned. He stood and helped Hermione up. "We're going to head home," he said, trying to sound casual.

"So early?" asked Lily sounding disappointed. "I still haven't found shoes."

"We're not getting anything accomplished with the boys tagging along. Why don't the two of us go by ourselves tomorrow?" suggested Hermione.

Lily nodded in agreement. "Umm, send me a note later," she said eyeing Laura. She was turned away. 'Owl me,' mouthed Lily.

Remus maneuvered Hermione around the table, but paused beside Sirius. He extended his hand. "It's good to see you again, Sirius," he said sincerely.

Sirius took the offered hand hesitantly. "It's good seeing you too, Moony," he returned.

"Maybe you and Laura could come to dinner at our place sometime," offered Remus. "You haven't seen our place yet."

"Your place?" asked Sirius in surprise. "I didn't know you were living together."

"We just moved in together," said Hermione quietly.

"Congratulations," said Sirius warmly.

"Thanks," they both replied.

There was a moment of awkward silence. "Well, we better get going," said Remus clearing his throat. "We'll see you all later."

"Bye," called their friends.

"It was nice seeing you again," said Laura.

"Bye," returned Remus and Hermione and they went home.


	34. Chapter 34

Hermione woke slowly the next morning. She groaned happily as the light of the sun began intruding into Remus's bedroom. With her eyes still closed she reached across the bed searching for Remus. He wasn't there. She opened her eyes to see his side of the bed rumpled and empty. "Remus," she called out sleepily.

After a few seconds he emerged from the bathroom. "Morning," he smiled. His hair was still rumpled and he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants.

"Morning," she returned. She patted the space in the bed next to her and he joined her readily. He pulled back the covers and settled next to her, pulling her to him.

"I love having you in my bed in the morning."

"This has been the most amazing month," she agreed, snuggling closer. She kissed his neck running her hands over his back. "Why'd you even bother putting clothes on," she mumbled reaching the waistband of his sweats.

They made love and held each other for a long while after. They'd almost drifted back to sleep when there was a knock downstairs. Hermione groaned.

"I wonder who that is," said Remus forcing himself to release Hermione.

"Don't be mad," said Hermione rolling over in bed and searching for her knickers. "I told Lily I'd go shopping with her today, for the wedding. I told her noon, but you know how she is."

Remus flopped back in bed moaning. "I told James he should have eloped."

Hermione found her knickers and pulled them on, but was having a harder time finding her shirt. "Where's my shirt?"

"Here," said Remus tossing her one of his T-shirts. "Tell her to come back at noon."

Hermione laughed. "I'll be right back." There was another loud knock at the door. "I'm coming," she yelled. She descended the stairs slowly, pulling the shirt over her head. "Your timing couldn't be worse, Lily," she yelled at the door before swinging it open.

Unfortunately, the person who greeted her was not Lily. Standing in the doorway were two wizards, one of whom Hermione hadn't seen for years. Walden MacNair looked just as she remembered him. And when he spoke, she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

"Does Remus J. Lupin live here?"

"Who's asking," she said, trying to control the tremor in her voice.

"We're from the Department for the Regulation of Dangerous Creatures," he tried to move forward and enter the house, but Hermione blocked the doorway.

"He's not here," she lied.

MacNair leered at Hermione, unashamedly running his eyes down her body. Hermione blushed and pulled the bottom of the shirt gently. It didn't even fall midway down her thighs. "And you are," asked MacNair.

Hermione felt emboldened by his obvious disrespect of her. "That's none of your business. If you'd like to leave a message for Mr. Lupin, I'll be sure that he gets it."

"Are you aware of what Mr. Lupin is, ma'am," said the wizard standing behind MacNair. Hermione's eyes flashed with anger and she was about to tell them both to go to hell, when she heard the unmistakable sound of Remus coming downstairs. Without thinking, she tried to close the door, but MacNair put his hand out and braced it open.

"Did you get rid of her yet, Hermione," said Remus jokingly as he appeared on the first floor. He came up behind Hermione and she gave a silent prayer of thanks that he had put a shirt on. When he saw the two men, his face immediately grew serious.

"Remus Lupin?" asked MacNair.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"We need you to come with us," he said stepping forward.

Hermione stayed firmly planted in front of Remus. "He's not going anywhere," she challenged. "You have no right to come into our home. Please leave."

"I'm afraid we have every right," said the second wizard. "The ministry has just passed decree 47 which requires all half-breeds to submit to registration."

"As well as a few other things," sneered MacNair.

Hermione glanced at Remus worriedly. His face was the picture of serenity, but he did seem undecided in what to do. Hermione felt certain that her presence was holding him back.

"We certainly aren't going to submit to anything like that," she said firmly.

"You don't have a choice," said MacNair, side stepping Hermione and taking hold of Remus's upper arm. Hermione silently berated herself for leaving her wand upstairs. Remus pulled away from his grasp just as Hermione pushed MacNair backwards.

He swung out at her and she fell to the floor hard. "Hermione," Remus shouted. He dropped to one knee and touched her shoulder. From behind, MacNair grabbed Remus roughly and pulled him up. Remus struggled, but the other wizard came up next to MacNair and between the two of them, they wrestled Remus out of the house.

Hermione, who had the wind knocked out of her, but other than that was perfectly fine, struggled to her feet. She threw the front door open and took a few steps outside. She turned in a circle, but they were gone. She ran back into the house and straight upstairs. She immediately pulled on the first pair of pants she found, grabbed both her and Remus's wands and ran back downstairs to the fireplace. She grabbed some floo powder and threw it into the fire. Stepping in, she yelled, "Godric's Hollow."

She arrived at James's house soon after and tumbled out of the fireplace. "James," she yelled running into the main hall. "James!"

She looked around, but the house appeared deserted. She ran upstairs to James's room, taking the steps two at a time. "James!" He wasn't in his room, so she ran back downstairs. She was about to take the floo to Sirius's apartment, when Mr. Potter appeared in the hallway. "Hermione, what on earth..."

Hermione didn't let him finish. "Where's James," she said frantically.

"He went out," said Mr. Potter, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing them lightly. "Hermione, what happened?"

"They took Remus," she said, breathing heavily.

Mr. Potter's grip on Hermione tightened. "Who took Remus," he said strongly.

"MacNair and some other wizard, they said they were with the ministry, something about decree 47."

Mr. Potter swore under his breath. "Come with me, Hermione," he said quickly and went into his study. Hermione waited while he wrote three short notes. One, he immediately took to the fireplace. He threw some floo powder into the fireplace and said clearly, "Professor Albus Dumbledore's office," and threw the note in. He waited a few seconds and threw another handful of floo powder into the fireplace and said, "Sirius Black's apartment," and threw the second note in.

He walked quickly from the study and Hermione ran to follow. He tacked the third note on the front of the door and turned to Hermione. "We're going to apparate to the Ministry of Magic, ok?"

She nodded and with a pop they both apparated. Immediately they were inside the Ministry. "Come along, Hermione," said Mr. Potter striding down the main hallway. She had to all but run to keep up with him.

They entered the lift at the end of the hall and waited until it reached level four. A cool female voice said, "Level four, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, incorporating Beast, Being, and Spirit Divisions... They didn't wait for the announcement to finish. Mr. Potter proceeded down the hallway to a large reception desk sitting in front of a great door. "Go sit over there," he instructed Hermione, nodding to a row of chairs several feet away from the receptionist.

She hesitated only for a moment, but obeyed. Mr. Potter talked for a long while with the receptionist, but Hermione couldn't hear anything they were saying. At one point Mr. Potter's fist came down on the desk and the receptionist jumped with fright. A few seconds later she got up from her seat and went through the door behind her.

Mr. Potter came over to Hermione.

"Is he here?" she asked trying to control her emotion.

"We'll find out now. Hermione, I need to know everything that happened. Who came to the apartment?"

"Walden MacNair and another wizard, they didn't identify themselves, but I recognized MacNair."

"Why? Has he been by the apartment before?"

"No," she said shaking her head. "I've had the misfortune to run into MacNair before."

Mr. Potter didn't ask anything further.

Hermione couldn't help but be terrified. She knew MacNair was a Death Eater. He had been one of the wizards that had attacked them during their fifth year, not to mention having been Buckbeak's would-be executioner. "Why is this happening," she asked.

Mr. Potter sighed deeply. "It looks as if they've finally managed to pass decree 47."

"What is decree 47?"

"It's a travesty," he said angrily. "It's an excuse to allow the ignorant to maintain their prejudices."

"I don't care about that," said Hermione in frustration. "I want to know what it means for Remus."

Mr. Potter looked at Hermione with sympathy in his eyes, but it only made her angrier. "It gives the Ministry the authority to register the people they affectionately call "half-breeds".

"For what purpose," asked Hermione, not really sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

Mr. Potter stared at her intently. "You know for what purpose, Hermione."

Hermione balled her hands into fists and doubled over in her seat. She wanted to scream, but couldn't. She had to maintain control.

"Decree 47 has been in the works for a long time," said Mr. Potter. "I never thought I'd see the day when they passed that law."

"You knew," said Hermione accusatorily.

"Yes," he replied quietly.

"And you never told Remus?"

Mr. Potter turned away uncomfortably. Hermione understood immediately. "You did tell him," she said quietly. "He wouldn't let you tell me." She took a deep breath. "That means James and Sirius know too. Damn it," she yelled pounding the chair next to her with her fist. "I am not a child. Why does he do this?"

Just then the lift opened and both Hermione and Mr. Potter turned to see Sirius running toward them. Hermione stood and met him halfway down the hall.

"Are you ok? Where's Remus? Have you seen him yet," he asked, peppering Hermione with questions.

"How could you keep this from me," she said angrily.

"You know the answer to that," said Sirius shortly, not bothering to pretend he didn't know what she was talking about. "Besides, we thought we had more time."

"Sirius, they came and took him this morning. I don't know where he is or if he's all right," she broke down and Sirius pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Shh," he whispered. "It'll be alright."

Hermione tensed in his arms. "Sirius," she whispered frantically. "MacNair, one of the wizards who came this morning, he's a Death Eater."

Sirius's eyes grew wide. "Are you sure? What am I talking about, of course you're sure." He paused for a moment. "He wouldn't do anything to him. He's under the Minister's orders on this one, not Voldemort's."

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"It'll be ok, I promise." Sirius led Hermione back to Mr. Potter. "I came as soon as I got your note, sir. What can I do?"

"Nothing at the moment, I sent that flighty receptionist to make sure they brought him here. I'll see if I can go and be with him."

As if on cue, the receptionist emerged from the door and the three of them moved toward her. "He's being interrogated right now," she said curtly.

"Which interrogation room," asked Mr. Potter?

"Number 7, but you can't go in there," she said in a high pitched nervous voice.

"Watch me," he moved to the door and Hermione made to follow him. "No Hermione, you stay here."

"No, I want to go with you," she protested.

"Sirius," said Mr. Potter before disappearing behind the door, followed by a screaming receptionist.

Hermione went to follow him, but Sirius held her back. "Let me go," she said struggling against him.

"Hermione let Mr. Potter handle this. You'll only make things worse."

"How could things possibly get any worse?"

"If they knew the exact nature of your relationship with Remus, it might," he said.

"Well I'd bet they don't have any doubt of the exact nature of our relationship seeing as how I answered the door in nothing but his T-shirt this morning."

Sirius colored slightly and frowned.

"Why? What does our relationship have to do with anything?"

"It's decree 47. It bans half-breeds from cohabitating with and marrying pure bloods."

"Half-breeds," she laughed bitterly. "You mean Werewolves."

"Not just Werewolves. All supposed half-breeds, including Vampires, Giants, Goblins, Trolls, and Centaurs."

"But I'm not a pure blood. I'm muggle born."

"Yes, but nobody knew that, and the last thing we need is for somebody to go poking into your parentage."

"This is a nightmare," she moaned. "What else does this decree dictate?"

Sirius sighed. "Almost everything," he said. "It dictates where Remus will be able to live, what kind of jobs he can have, and..." he trailed off.

"What," urged Hermione?

"Decree 47 prohibits the half-breeds from breeding."

"What," gasped Hermione? "You can't be serious?

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"But if the decree stands, the Giants and Centaurs will die out, not to mention the Goblins and Trolls. How could they possibly hope to enforce that law?"

"They can't," said Sirius bitterly. "But I'd love to be there when they try."

"It's just prejudice," said Hermione. "They think the half-breeds are more likely to be on Voldemort's side so they're trying to eradicate them? Don't they understand that this will only open the doorway for them to turn against us? Well they're not going to stop Remus and I from having a family if we damn well feel like it."

"Hermione how is it that this is such a surprise to you? Doesn't this law exist in the future?"

"No," she said slowly. "There are laws, but nothing as intrusive as this." She frowned, her mind working things out. "That means this is my fault. Something that I did caused this. But what, what could I have done to change things so drastically?"

"Stop it," said Sirius. "You remember what Dumbledore said. You can't blame yourself for what's going to happen. There's no way you could know how things would unfold. Don't play this game with yourself."

Hermione wiped away the tears that were spilling down her cheek and laid her head on Sirius's shoulder. He put one arm around her and held her close.

They sat for hours. Eventually James and Lily showed up and joined their silent vigil. At hour nine, just as Hermione was about to lose it, Mr. Potter and Remus emerged from the end of the hallway. Hermione got up and threw her arms around Remus. He held her for a long time and to her credit, she didn't cry.

When she pulled back she took note of his face. He looked so tired. "You must be starving," she said. "I'm taking you home and feeding you and putting you to bed."

He smiled appreciatively, but said, "We can't, Hermione."

Her heart skipped a bit and she knew he was going to end things with her in the name of chivalry or some other misguided attempt at doing the right thing. "Don't," she warned quietly. "Not here."

He closed his eyes tiredly. He knew exactly where her mind was. "We're not going home, because we have to go to Hogwarts, honey. Nothing they do could make me let you go now," he whispered.

She cried quietly in his arms, not letting anyone else see her tears. "I love you."

"I know," he said. "I love you too."

"Let's go you lot," urged Mr. Potter quietly.

"Not so fast, Potter," said a voice behind them.

They all turned and stared at MacNair. Sirius, James, and Lily got up and joined Remus, Hermione, and Mr. Potter.

"We told you we wanted a word with the girl," said MacNair.

Hermione felt Remus's arms tighten around her. "And I told you over my dead body," snarled Remus. Mr. Potter put a hand on Remus's shoulder silencing him.

"We've already been over that MacNair. You've already pushed the limit of your authority by picking up Remus. The decree allows the persecuted parties to come in on their own, not to be picked up at their private residences. Hermione is under no obligation to speak with you now."

MacNair laughed. "Listen to you, persecuted parties. You're lucky the people didn't give us permission to put down the half-breeds like the animals they are."

"Bastard," said Sirius angrily. James and Lily had to quickly grab hold of him to prevent him from attacking MacNair.

"Well hello, Black," sneered MacNair. "Didn't see you back there. Tell your mother Walden says hi."

"Whether we do it now or later," continued MacNair, "we will be speaking with the girl. If she's a mudblood, she can continue in her sordid little connection with the werewolf as long as she doesn't get herself knocked up. But if she does," MacNair smiled evilly. "We can always take care of that too."

Remus pulled away from Hermione and tried to launch himself at MacNair.

"No," she shouted, maintaining her hold on him. "Definitely not worth it," she said turning him away.

"If you come near her, I'll kill you," he said to MacNair over his shoulder before Hermione pulled him around.

"What was that, boy, a threat on a Ministry official?"

"No, not at all," said Mr. Potter, pushing his little group toward the lift. "I'm sure you must have heard wrong."

"I'm sure you're right, Potter. See you later, girl," he called at their retreating backs and Hermione had to keep a vice like grip on Remus.

Once they were in the lift Remus tucked Hermione securely into his embrace. "I won't let them come near you, honey. It won't happen."

"Don't think about that now," she said reassuringly. "They can't hurt us."

When they reached the main floor they were greeted by absolute commotion. On one side of them, there were lines of pale looking witches and wizards, many of whom had scared looking children in their arms. On the other side was a group of angry goblins being pushed along by ministry officials.

Mr. Potter surveyed that group quickly and separated himself from the rest of them. "I'll be right back, kids." He quickly moved over to the group and spoke with one of the ministry personnel. Then he separated one of the goblins from the group and spoke a quick word with him, before rejoining them.

"Let's go," he said.

"Dad, what's going on?" asked James.

"The registration process is beginning."

"You don't mean all those witches and wizards are werewolves or vampires?" asked Lily incredulously. "What about the children?"

"They are," said Mr. Potter, "or the families of them."

"This is just cruel," said Lily.

"We can't take the floo network to Hogwarts," said Mr. Potter quietly. "I don't want them knowing where we've gone. We'll apparate to Hogsmeade and then walk to Hogwarts."

Less than a half hour later they were making their way back into the castle. Hermione smiled for the first time all day when she entered the castle. Dumbledore met them in the front hall. "I've been expecting you for hours," he said and Hermione felt nervous at the look of unease in his eyes. She had never seen Dumbledore worried before.

"Unavoidable, unfortunately," said Mr. Potter. "Perhaps we should go to your office, Albus."

Professor Dumbledore and Mr. Potter spoke as they made their way to the Headmaster's office. "This is an unexpected turn of events," said Dumbledore. "But we are not unprepared. When I received your note this morning I contacted the head of Gringott's bank and sent word to Hagrid that he must return immediately."

"Did you contact Firenze?"

"The Centaurs have not been receptive to my invitation."

"I can't say that I'm surprised," sighed Mr. Potter. "They've always felt we were an arrogant lot. Passing this decree only enforces the opinion. I spoke with Grypphorn as he was being led in for questioning. He was reluctant, but has agreed to meet with us."

They reached Dumbledore's office and settled themselves in the available chairs.

"I don't mean to interrupt the two of you," said Hermione angrily. "But I want to know what's going on now. All I know is that two ministry officials came into our house this morning and took Remus. And now I find out that the Ministry has passed some law giving them the right to do God knows what and you all knew about this and didn't tell me."

"Hermione," began Sirius warningly.

"Shut up, Sirius," snapped Hermione. She turned to Remus. "If you ever keep anything like that from me again..." she trailed off not wanting to finish her threat. Then she turned to the rest of them. "I mean it, all of you."

"Hermione," began Remus quietly. "I didn't want you to worry when there was nothing you could do."

"That's a bullshit excuse and you know it," she said lowering her voice. "I'm not your child. I'm your fiancé and I don't need you to protect me."

Remus closed his eyes in defeat.

She turned back to the group, all of whom were staring at her in some shock. But she didn't care that she had just announced her engagement to Remus. She just wanted to take some action. "So how are we going to stop this?"

"We can't," said James quietly. "It's done."

"I don't accept that," said Hermione. "If I've learned anything in the last year, it's that nothing is permanent."

"What do you propose we do, Hermione? Start a war on another front?" asked Sirius angrily. "Thanks to the Ministry, we've just given the people who fall under that ban to Voldemort. His numbers will double and we're already outnumbered."

"You have a lot of confidence in us," said Remus quietly.

"I didn't mean you, mate," said Sirius immediately. "You know I didn't."

"Who did you mean then?" asked Remus.

"Come on, you two, let's not fight," begged Lily. "We have to stick together."

"Lily's right," spoke up Dumbledore. "We must come together to make this work. We're not completely unprepared," he reassured them. "Although I must admit the speed at which this is happening is surprising."

"The people are scared," said Mr. Potter. "And unfortunately, they are equating being a half-breed with being on the dark side."

"Could we stop saying that," snapped Hermione. "It's as insulting as being called a mudblood."

After a few minutes Dumbledore spoke. "There's very little we can do tonight. I've made contact with the goblins and extended an invitation to the centaurs. If he travels all night, Hagrid will return tomorrow for the meeting. Decisions on how to proceed will be made then. What I suggest now is that we all get something to eat and go to bed. Tomorrow will be a very long day."

When nobody protested, they all got up and went to leave the office. "Hermione, Remus, please stay. We'll meet the rest of you in the Great Hall. I've asked the house elves to prepare some food."

Remus and Hermione sat back down and he reached over and took her hand. "Are you ok, Remus?" asked Dumbledore.

He nodded.

"Hermione?"

"Of course I'm not all right," said Hermione. "Dumbledore this decree shouldn't exist. It doesn't in my time." She covered her eyes with one hand. "How did this happen?" she asked herself. "What triggered it?"

"I imagine it was the attack at the school at the end of last term," said Dumbledore quietly.

Hermione considered this. "The only place Voldemort never dared attack was Hogwarts," she said slowly. "It was the last safe place. Wizarding parents could still feel safe sending their children to school. They lost that after the attack."

"They need something else in place to make them feel safe," said Remus.

"Thanks to Hermione, however, at least we know the real source of this decree. I have made contact with some of my friends at the ministry and some of the main supporters of this decree are people we know to be Death Eaters."

"Who?" asked Hermione.

"The Malfoy's, Rodolphus Lestrange," he paused, "the Blacks," he finished slowly.

Hermione frowned slightly. "Does Sirius know?"

Dumbledore nodded sadly.

"One of the wizards who came this morning was a Death Eater," said Hermione.

"Which one?" asked Remus curiously.

"MacNair."

"That's not surprising," said Dumbledore.

"He was the one who was so insistent that they speak to you," said Remus to Hermione. "They kept coming back to you the entire interview," he said slowly.

Dumbledore looked up sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Hermione was with me this morning when they came. MacNair wanted to know who she was."

"What did you tell him?" asked Dumbledore.

"As little as possible," said Remus. "I told him she was a friend of mine from school that was visiting."

"What else did they want to know?" asked Dumbledore.

"They wanted to know how long we had known each other and who her parents were, but I refused to answer. Then MacNair said if I was insisting on being so uncooperative that he'd just arrange to speak with her one on one."

"You don't think they suspect anything?" Hermione asked Dumbledore.

Dumbledore sighed. "I'm beginning to think they might."

"But who," she asked, "the Ministry or Voldemort."

"Based on the attack at the school, I'd say Voldemort. There's a thirty day grace period that allows the mixed breeds to voluntarily submit to the registration. Decree 47 only gives the Ministry the authority to pick up suspects at their private residences if they are known threats."

"How is Remus a known threat?"

"He's not," said Dumbledore pointedly. "But to Voldemort you would be. He may have sent MacNair to pick up Remus using the authority given to him by decree 47. It may have been a warning. We already know that Peter informed Voldemort of your unexpected arrival at school and how things began to change once you arrived. I'm afraid you're no longer as inconspicuous as we once thought."

"So what do we do now?" asked Hermione.

"I'd like the two of you to remain here at Hogwarts."

"For how long?" asked Remus.

"Indefinitely."

"I don't know if I can do that, sir," said Remus. "I'm not going to hide out like a scared child."

"Remus," began Hermione.

"No, forget it, Hermione. We're not doing anything to be ashamed of. You taught me that. You said I had as much right to love and be loved as anyone else and I'll be damned if I let some law stop me."

"Professor Dumbledore isn't asking us to do that," she insisted. "But things aren't safe right now. What's going to stop them from taking you again if they feel like it? I can't lose you."

"Remus, the full moon's in four days. The law requires you to submit to the Ministry lock up in two days for monitoring. Do you really want to go through the transformation under those conditions?" asked Dumbledore.

"Remus, please," begged Hermione.

He looked at her and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Ok," he agreed. "We'll stay."

They joined the others for dinner, but nobody ate much. They were all too tired. Finally it was time for bed and the five friends went to Gryffindor tower and up to the boy's old dorm room.

"I can't believe we're finally allowed girls up here and I haven't got one of my own," complained Sirius as they all prepared for bed. James and Remus both laughed. Hermione and Remus got into his old bed and snuggled close together and James and Lily did the same.

They all talked for a few minutes, but Hermione just lay there quietly, her arms around Remus's waist and her head on his shoulder. Silent tears fell down her face as the weight of what had happened settled on her. She had never felt as helpless as she had today. Remus noticed she was crying immediately. He said a quick goodnight to their friends and closed the curtains around them.

He held her tightly stroking her hair and whispering words of assurance to her. "I love you, Hermione," he whispered. "As long as I have you, I don't care what the rest of the world thinks."

"I love you too," she said tilting her head up and claiming his mouth in a slow gentle kiss. "I'm sorry this happened," she whispered.

"I heard what you said up there and I know how you get. This was not your fault and I don't ever want to hear you blame yourself again. Do you hear me?"

"Remus," she began.

"No, I mean it. Hermione, don't you know that I thank God everyday for you coming back to our time. I'd put up with anything if the exchange was getting to fall asleep next to you every night."

She sighed happily. "I feel the same way."

"Do you?"

She propped herself up on one arm and looked into his eyes. "Of course I do. You should know that by now."

"I guess I still wonder if you'd go back if you could."

"Stop wondering," she said kissing him again. "We're getting married and I'm never going to leave you."

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A/N: This has to be one of my favorite chapters I've written. I hope you all like it too. By the way, if anyone wants me to send them an e-mail when I update, just leave me your request and e-mail address in the reviews.


	35. Chapter 35

Hermione ran through the halls of Hogwarts at break neck speed. She slipped as she rounded the corner, but caught herself before she went down. Taking a deep breath, she righted herself and slowly proceeded down the hall as quietly, but as quickly as she could. She scanned the corridor, but couldn't see anyone. She had nearly reached the end of the hall when something grabbed her from behind.

"Caught you!"

Hermione shrieked and tried to struggle, but she was held too firmly. "All right," she laughed. "You win."

"That's right," said Remus. "Now, don't you have something to say?"

"No," said Hermione defiantly.

Remus tickled her ribcage causing Hermione to shriek with laughter. "Say it," he demanded.

"Okay," she gasped. "Okay, I'll say it." Remus paused in his tickling and allowed Hermione to catch her breath. She took a deep breath. "You know more about the castle than I do," she admitted grudgingly.

"And don't forget it," added Remus.

"Miss Granger," came a sharp voice. "Mr. Lupin, what are you doing?"

Remus and Hermione whirled around to see Professor McGonagall standing a few feet away from them with her hands on her hips and a stern expression on her voice.

Remus immediately released Hermione and they both stood straight in front of their former professor.

"Sorry professor," mumbled Hermione.

"You sound like a pair of rampaging Hippogriffs," she said sternly.

"We didn't realize anyone was in this part of the castle," Remus tried to explain.

"I am on my way to see the Headmaster concerning some Order business," returned Professor McGonagall.

"The Headmaster was called away from Hogwarts, Professor," said Hermione. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Professor McGonagall looked disturbed. "No dear, that's quite all right. I will leave the Headmaster a note." She turned away from the pair and proceeded down the hall.

"That was odd," commented Hermione once Professor McGonagall was out of earshot.

Remus raised an eyebrow at Hermione as if to indicate that he found nothing odd in the Professor's behavior.

"What could she have wanted to say to Dumbledore that she couldn't say to us?" wondered Hermione.

Remus laughed. "Plenty," he replied. "I'm sure a lot goes on that we don't know about."

"I hate not knowing," said Hermione. She looked longingly down the hall Professor McGonagall had just disappeared down.

"What are you thinking?" asked Remus carefully.

Hermione turned back to Remus, a blush staining her cheeks. "Nothing," she mumbled.

Remus crossed his arms. "Out with it," he demanded.

Hermione sighed. "I was only thinking that it wouldn't be too much trouble to check and see what was in that note Professor McGonagall left for Dumbledore. I do have the password to his office."

"Hermione," exclaimed Remus in a shocked voice.

"Never mind," said Hermione waving a hand at him. "It was only a stray thought. Come on. Let's go outside for a walk." She took Remus's hand and led him away, pretending to drop the subject. Though in truth, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She couldn't help but compare Remus to Harry and Ron. They wouldn't have hesitated to go on an expedition to discover the contents of the note. Their curiosity had always exceeded her own avid curiosity. It was some time before Hermione forgot Professor McGonagall's mysterious manner.

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"James and I have just decided to do it," announced Lily.

Hermione smirked up at her from where she was sitting. Lily was on her nearly nightly visit to Hermione at Hogwarts. Lily had just bustled into Hermione and Remus's room.

"I'm sorry, what?" returned Hermione.

"He doesn't want to wait anymore," said Lily. "It's just making him crazy. And he's just been so wound up lately between Auror Training and Order business. We just have to do it and get it over with."

Hermione started laughing. "How romantic."

"What?" asked Lily with her hands on her hips.

"Nothing," returned Hermione. She tried wiping the smirk off her face. "I assume you're talking about the wedding," she ventured.

"Of course," returned Lily. "What else would I be talking about?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows at Lily as if the answer was obvious.

Lily blushed. "Hermione," she exclaimed. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Anyway," said Hermione, trying to bring the subject back around to the wedding. "You and James have decided to just get married."

"Yes," sighed Lily happily. "Our parents wanted to throw us a big wedding and things have kind of gotten out of control. We originally wanted to be married in a month and then it got pushed back to two months and now if our parents have their way we won't be married until next summer."

"So what are you going to do?"

"James wants to get married next week," she said cautiously, as if she were afraid Hermione might chastise her.

"That might be doable," returned Hermione.

"Do you think so?" asked Lily hopefully.

"Of course," returned Hermione. "It will just take a little work. I assume you don't care if many people are there?"

"No," confirmed Lily. "As long as you, Remus, and Sirius are there we'll be happy. And our parents, of course," she added hastily.

"I've never been to a wizarding wedding," said Hermione. "But I assume there somewhat similar to muggle weddings. It shouldn't take too much to pull one off."

"You'll help me then?" asked Lily.

"Of course," returned Hermione.

"And will you stand up with me as my Maid of Honor?"

Tears sprung to Hermione's eyes. "I'd be honored," she returned happily.

Lily smiled widely. "Good. Sirius is going to be James's Best Man."

Hermione nodded. She knew this already.

"You don't think Remus will be terribly angry, do you? James is very worried. He wants them both to be there desperately."

"Don't worry, Lily," said Hermione. "Remus understands the bond between James and Sirius. They're like brothers. He doesn't resent it. Now I know that his relationship with Sirius hasn't been as friendly as it should be, but that's really my fault. I'm sure there won't be any problems."

Lily smiled, feeling reassured, then her face looked worried again.

"What is it?" asked Hermione. "There's something more."

"It's nothing," returned Lily.

"There is," said Hermione standing up and approaching her friend. "You know you can confide in me if anything's bothering you."

Lily turned away. "It's just so much to take in. I don't think I realized until this moment that I'll be a wife by next week."

Hermione laughed. "You didn't realize."

"Well of course I realized, I guess I just... It's just that it seemed so far off when we got engaged. Don't get me wrong I want to marry James. I love him so much. I just..." she trailed off.

"What?" asked Hermione gently, placing one comforting hand on Lily's shoulder.

Lily turned to Hermione. "I'm going to be a wife," she stated.

"Yes," prompted Hermione.

Lily bit her lip nervously. "You and Remus are living together."

Hermione was confused by the abrupt change in topic. "Yes," she said.

Lily blushed fiercely. "The two of you are close," she said carefully.

Hermione's brow creased. "What are you getting at?"

"It's just that James and I haven't... That is to say we were... Oh forget it," she said moving towards the door. "This is too embarrassing."

Sudden comprehension filled Hermione. "Oh," she exhaled. "Lily wait," she said grabbing her friends arm and pulling her back into the center of the room. "I think I understand. You and James have never," she paused. "You know," she finished lamely.

"No, we haven't," confirmed Lily. "We've done stuff, but I wanted to wait until I was married and James was very understanding. And now he's been waiting and what if I mess everything up. I have no idea what I'm doing."

Hermione laughed. "You won't. Besides, you don't really think James has any experience, do you?"

Lily shrugged.

"Lily," said Hermione in exasperation. "James has been in love with you since he was eleven years old. Trust me. He's just as nervous as you are."

"When you and Remus, well you know, were you nervous? You don't have to answer if you don't want to," she added hastily.

"It's okay," said Hermione. "I wish I had had someone to talk to about this. I was nervous, but so was he. He was my first, my only, and I was his. And when it happened it was scary and exciting and wonderful all at the same time. I can't describe it. The important thing is that you and James are in love and you'll be committed to each other."

Lily sighed happily. "You're right. I shouldn't be scared, not with James. I just know he would do absolutely anything for me."

"He would you know," confirmed Hermione. "I don't think I've ever known two people who were more in love than the two of you."

Lily reached out and hugged Hermione tightly. "I don't know what I ever did without you. You're old friends must miss you terribly."

Hermione throat tightened as she struggled not to cry.

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James and Lily's wedding was a quiet, but beautiful affair. James spent the entire morning nervous, with only Sirius and Remus to calm him and they seemed to take more delight in teasing him than actually calming him.

Lily fared better the morning of her wedding. Hermione had never seen anyone so calm and composed. And when James saw her walking toward him a feeling of complete happiness flooded over him.

The ceremony was simple, but heartfelt. Hermione caught Remus's eye when James and Lily said their vows and didn't avert her eyes until they were done, as if silently vowing the same to him.

Despite only having one weeks notice Hermione, Lily and the two mothers managed to pull together a very lively reception after the wedding. All the members of the Order attended as well as several current and former students of Hogwarts. Long before the fun was over, James and Lily snuck away, courtesy of Sirius, Hermione, and Remus.

The five friends spent a few minutes together before James and Lily went off on their honeymoon. They were all happy to be together, but also a little sad. They all felt that James and Lily's wedding signified an end to something, though they didn't know exactly what. Hermione began to feel for the first time that they really were becoming adults, not just teenagers desperately trying to act like adults. And she was wistful, feeling again as if she was approaching something momentous without the two people she thought she would share her life with. As happy as she was, Harry and Ron always seemed to hover over her consciousness as a reminder of all she must do.

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Hermione was hunched over her desk working feverishly on a report that was due to Dumbledore by the end of the day. In the two weeks since James and Lily's wedding, the Death Eaters had upped the frequency of their attacks. The Dark Mark had appeared over three different wizard homes and the wizarding community was in a near frenzied panic.

The Order had never been busier. Dumbledore had all of them patrolling communities that had a high concentration of wizarding families, but there were just not enough of them. They were easily outnumbered two to one.

Hermione nearly screamed in frustration as she crumbled the piece of parchment in her hand and tossed it onto the floor. Dumbledore had asked her to analyze the locations where the Death Eaters had struck to see if there was a pattern and a way to predict where they were going to strike next.

Hermione began writing again and was quickly engrossed in her work. She was so focused that she didn't notice Remus had entered the room.

"Hermione," he said softly.

"Just a second, sweetheart, I have to finish this thought," returned Hermione without looking up.

"Hermione," he said again and something in his voice made her look up. Remus was pale and his eyes were red as if he had been crying.

"What?" asked Hermione, feeling a sudden terror fill her heart.

"You have to come with me now," he said, his voice hoarse.

She shook her head. "What?" she repeated. "What's happened?"

"Dumbledore..." he began but his voice cracked.

Hermione jumped to her feet and rushed over to him. "What?" she demanded. "Tell me."

Remus took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. "Dumbledore asked me to come and get you." He looked deep into her eyes and knew she wouldn't move until she knew everything.

"The Prewitt brothers were supposed to relieve Mr. and Mrs. Potter who were taking the watch in Little Hangleton."

Hermione nodded. Part of her job was knowing the position of all the Order members at any given time. "Go on," she urged.

Remus cleared his throat. "They got there and the Potters were no where to be found."

Hermione gasped and covered her mouth. "No," she moaned.

"We don't know anything yet," said Remus quickly, but his voice lacked conviction.

"Are James and Lily back yet?" she asked hollowly.

Remus shook his head. "They're not due back from their honeymoon until tomorrow." He took her hand and led her from the room. "Dumbledore is sending members of the Order to begin a search."

"What does he want us to do?" asked Hermione.

"I don't know," he returned. "He just asked me to bring you to him." Remus led Hermione all the way to Dumbledore's office. There were three other Order members with him when they arrived, Hagrid, Professor McGonagall, and Benjy Fenwick.

"Ah, good, Hermione," said Dumbledore when they arrived. Hermione was struck by how old he seemed. It was as if the war was aging them all at an alarming rate. "Mr. Fenwick was just about to give us an update."

Hermione immediately turned all her attention to the short thin man called Benjy Fenwick.

"Unfortunately," he began. "I don't have much to report. We questioned some of the muggle residents and quite a few of them remembered seeing a man and woman that matched the Potter's description, but no one saw anything mysterious."

No one spoke. Hermione could feel the uneasiness in the room. After several moments, Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Thank you Benjy. I know you're eager to return to the search so we won't keep you."

Benjy nodded and quickly exited the room.

"I ave a bad feeling, Headmaster," said Hagrid gruffly, "a very bad feeling."

"Young Mr. Potter and Miss Evans will need to be told immediately," said Professor McGonagall.

"Mrs. Potter," corrected Dumbledore. "And yes, they will need to be told immediately."

"They're still on their honeymoon," interrupted Remus. "They should be home tomorrow."

"I don't think we can wait," said Dumbledore. "Someone will need to go to them."

"I will," Hermione immediately volunteered.

"Actually," said Dumbledore quietly. "I need you to go see Sirius. He needs to be told as well and I think he would take it best coming from you. He was very close to the Potter's, like a second son."

"I'll go to James and Lily," volunteered Remus. "I'm sure they'll want to return immediately. Shall I bring them here?"

"Yes," answered Dumbledore, "and as quickly as possible. They may both be in a great deal of danger." He turned to Hermione. "You must keep Sirius calm and bring him back to Hogwarts."

Hermione nodded. She knew all too well what would happen if Sirius lost control of his emotions. "I'll go to Sirius right now."

"Good," said Dumbledore. "Both of you be careful." Remus and Hermione strode from his office. They parted ways at Hogsmeade village giving each other a fierce hug, then each of them apparated to their destination.

Hermione arrived at Sirius's apartment to find it dark and silent. She moved to his bedroom and opened the door as quietly as possible. He was already asleep. She smiled at the way he seemed to take over the whole bed in a tangle of limbs and bed sheet.

She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Sirius," she murmured.

He jerked awake violently, pulling away from her touch. When he had recovered and saw who had woken him he gasped. "Hermione, what are you doing here?"

"Sirius," she began, trying to maintain her calm. "Something's happened."

He sat up in bed. "What?" he asked frantically. "Is it Remus?"

"No," she said shaking her head. "He's fine, so are James and Lily," she added hastily.

"Then what?"

"It's Mr. and Mrs. Potter. They're missing," she said quickly to get it over with. "They were patrolling Little Hangleton and when the Prewitt brothers went to relieve them, they couldn't find them anywhere." She paused expecting him to say something, but he didn't so she continued. "Dumbledore wants us to go to Hogwarts to wait."

The last sentence seemed to kick Sirius into action. He jumped out of bed and grabbed his wand from his night stand. Then he went to his closet where he quickly put on a pair of shoes, before heading to his front door.

"Wait," said Hermione frantically. "Where are you going?"

"To get some answers," he answered savagely.

"Answers? What are you talking about?"

"I have to find them. After everything they've done for me, I owe it to them," said Sirius.

"But Sirius," protested Hermione. "Who are you going to question? The entire Order is out looking and no one seems to have a clue."

"Then I'll find someone who does," returned Sirius, yanking open his front door and striding down the hall of his building. Hermione was hot on his heels.

She reached out and grabbed his arm, trying to stop him, but with barely any effort he brushed her off. "Sirius, please be reasonable. You'll get hurt."

"No I won't," he said curtly. "They won't hurt me where I'm going."

"Where are you going?" pleaded Hermione.

"I'm going home."

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A/N: So sorry for the long time between updates. I know this chapter is short, but it ends on a fun cliffie so hopefully you'll all forgive me. 10 points to the person who can tell me the significance of Little Hangleton.


	36. Chapter 36

Hermione often wondered at the odd direction her life had taken. She had been in the past nearly a year and she was engaged and living with her one time Defense Professor, she was in the middle of the greatest wizarding battle of the century and once again she was standing in front of Number 12 Grimmault place.

It was raining and the Knight bus had just let Sirius and herself off in front of his home. Hermione's hair was plastered to her head and water was dripping from its ends. Sirius was standing next to her staring at his home, but not moving. His face was set and his eyes were stormy and she wondered if he had changed his mind.

He was finally jolted into action when he felt her shiver next to him. He glanced at her and frowned when he was how wet she was, as if he hadn't noticed the rain himself.

"Come on, let's get out of the rain," he said. He walked up to the house and rang the bell.

"What are you doing?" asked Hermione. "Do you want to wake them?"

Sirius gave her an odd sideways glance. "What?" he questioned.

"The portraits," said Hermione. "You'll wake them."

"So," he returned.

Hermione paused. "The portraits," she repeated uncertainly. "If they wake up..." She was interrupted when the door to Grimmault Place swung open.

Sirius put his hand on Hermione's back and ushered her in, before quickly following her.

"Master Black," said a deep gravely voice.

Hermione jumped in fright. She looked down and saw the Black's decrepit looking house elf, looking not quite as decrepit as she remembered.

"Where's mother, Kreacher," asked Sirius directly.

"My Mistress is in her room," returned Kreacher.

"And father," asked Sirius.

"The Master is not home."

"Tell my mother I'm here with a guest," commanded Sirius.

"My Mistress told Kreacher not to disturb her," said Kreacher.

"I don't care," said Sirius angrily. "Tell her I have to speak to her. Now!"

"Yes, Master Black," said Kreacher begrudgingly. He slowly lumbered away further into the house.

Sirius glanced at Hermione who was still shivering and had her arms crossed across her chest. He pulled out with wand and cast a drying spell on both Hermione and himself.

"You didn't have to come," he said after a moment.

Hermione wasn't sure how to respond. She hadn't wanted to come, but at the same time she knew she had to. Grimmault Place was another one of those places that was painful to be in. There were so many memories. So instead she went back to the issue at hand.

"Do you really think your parents know anything about the Potters?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I had to try."

Hermione nodded, but felt sick. Neither of Harry's grandparents were alive when the Potter's had been killed, otherwise he wouldn't have had to go with his awful aunt and uncle, but a small piece of Hermione held out hope that she had changed things enough to save them. She had for some time felt that the future was much less certain than when she had arrived.

She had been somewhat surprised that neither Remus, Dumbledore, or Sirius had asked her what had happened to the Potter's in the future. It was as if they were afraid of her answer.

Hermione surveyed the area they were in. Sirius hadn't advanced any further into the house than the hallway. The portraits were still hung along the whole hallway, but without the curtains. She glanced at various portraits, but they were staring stonily ahead as if deliberately shunning the two people in front of them. Her eyes finally rested on the portrait of Sirius's mother, the one that had frankly frightened her a little when she had occupied the house with the Order.

The portrait was beautiful. His mother was actually quite striking with her dark black hair, shining and neat and her high cheekbones and full lips. All traces of its madness were gone. Sirius's mother stared back at her, but said nothing.

Sirius acted as if none of the portraits were near them, much the same way the portraits were acting towards him.

After nearly five minutes, Kreacher reappeared in the hallway. "My Mistress says you are to leave this house," he said almost happily.

Sirius advanced on the gloating house elf. "Is that so?" he said through gritted teeth.

Hermione held her breath. She swore she could see fear in the house-elf's eyes.

"You tell my mother that I'm not leaving until I see her, if I have to wait here all night," said Sirius. "Better yet, I'll just go up and see her," he said pushing past Kreacher. Hermione scrambled quickly to follow him. She didn't want to be alone in the house.

"You may want to stay down here," said Sirius quietly.

Hermione was surprised that he still realized she was there. "I'm not leaving you," she returned just as quietly. "But are you sure you want to do this?"

"My parents are friends with practically every known Death Eater of importance. They may know what's happened to the Potter's."

"But they're not Death Eater's, Sirius."

"We don't know that," bit back Sirius.

"I know," she said quietly, putting her hand on his arm.

"My brother was a Death Eater," challenged Sirius.

"But your parent's aren't. You know that."

"My parents have done nothing but lie to me since the day I was born."

"Sirius, whatever your parents are, they are not Death Eaters," said Hermione firmly.

Sirius met her eyes. "If there's even the smallest chance that they know where the Potter's are..." he began.

"Let's find out," said Hermione taking his hand in hers in a supportive gesture. They went the rest of the way hand in hand and Sirius opened his mother's bedroom door without knocking.

Mrs. Black was sitting on an ornamental bench in front of an ornate vanity. She was looking at Sirius and Hermione through the mirror.

"Hello mother," said Sirius, staring back into the mirror.

"I believe I told Kreacher to see you out," was her only response. She returned her gaze to her own reflection and picked up a silver handled brush and began running it through her hair. "I'm afraid he will have to be punished," she mused.

Hermione's heart twisted for the awful excuse for a house elf, but if Sirius felt anything he showed no reaction.

"I imagine you know why I've come," said Sirius, immediately getting to the point.

"Money?" she questioned. "No, it couldn't be that. Your father and I were informed that your fool Uncle Alphard settled a nice amount on you." She laid her brush down and picked up another item, though Hermione couldn't see what it was. "Perhaps you've come to your senses and decided to atone for your sins and return to your family." She turned then and Hermione took an involuntary step back. Hermione had never seen eyes like Mrs. Blacks. They were dark and almost completely devoid of anything resembling life. Sirius's eyes were also dark, but they sparkled with mischief and something joyful and untouchable.

She stared at Sirius now with those eyes. "You're wasting your time. Neither your father or I will ever acknowledge you again. You are alone in the world. Your father will be the last of the Black's."

Hermione gasped. She had never seen any parent act so hatefully toward one of their children. The gasp seemed to remind Mrs. Black that she and Sirius weren't the only ones in the room. Her lips curled into a slow smile.

"You haven't changed a bit, mother. You may choose to live in hate, but I refuse. I have come for one thing and once I have it I will leave and you will never see me again," said Sirius tonelessly.

His mother regarded him, but didn't speak. Without hesitating, Sirius continued. "Do you know anything about the disappearance of the Potter's?"

She laughed, a harsh laugh. "Get out," she commanded, turning away.

"Tell me," he demanded, advancing on her. "Tell me now."

"Fool," she spat. "This is what comes from mixing with mudbloods and blood traitors. You will all fall one by one. Your brother Regulus had courage. He was a man who knew how to attain power. You, Sirius, are a coward, too afraid to extend your hand and take what is rightfully yours."

Sirius shook his head. "Regulus is dead," he said bitterly. "My brother was a fool, believing all the nonsense you and father spewed. And he died a fool."

In an instant, Mrs. Black's hand flashed across the air, cracking against her son's cheek. His head snapped to the side and when he straightened, Hermione could see blood on his cheek. "Shame of my flesh," Mrs. Black screamed. "Vile, traitorous..."

"Stop," Hermione shouted, pushing herself in front of Sirius. She wouldn't let them hurt him. She knew they had already done damage to him and she'd be damned if they did any more, not while she could prevent it. "What kind of a mother are you?" she spat. "Do you have any idea what kind of a man your son is? He's worth more than the entire Black family tree. The whole lot of you are nothing but weak and hateful."

"Get out of this house," she continued screaming. "I'll not have filth walking through these halls."

"Tell us what you know of the Potter's and we'll leave," demanded Sirius.

"Rigel," she screamed. "Rigel."

Hermione felt Sirius tense behind her and turned questioningly. Sirius had gone very white and actually began pulling Hermione backwards. She allowed him to pull her almost from the room but they were stopped by a tall imposing man blocking the door.

Sirius pushed Hermione behind him and she could feel him shaking. It unnerved her. Even when they had faced Voldemort together she had not seen Sirius altered. He had been brave and strong. Now, she could feel his fear, it nearly enveloped him and threatened to consume her.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked the man from the doorway.

"Father," Sirius croaked. "We were told you weren't home."

"Why are you in this house?" demanded Rigel Black.

Sirius didn't reply.

"Speak boy," threatened his father dangerously.

Hermione tried desperately to push back the fear bubbling inside her. Rigel Black was no taller than Sirius, nor did he appear to weigh much more, but he seemed to tower over them. It wasn't as if he was a big man, rather it seemed that Sirius had become a small boy.

"He came to inquire about the whereabouts of the Potter's," said Mrs. Black from behind her son and Hermione.

Rigel Black's eyes never left Sirius's and Sirius had no choice but to maintain the gaze. "The Potter's are dead," he said coldly. "Now get out of my house and never come back."

Hermione bit her bottom lip sharply to keep from crying out. He had pronounced the Potter's death in such a way that all hope simply left her heart. The indifferent tone, as if he were delivering a report on the weather, seemed to defy contradiction.

She was close to Sirius, her body touching his in several places and upon his father's pronouncement, every muscle in Sirius's body tightened. He lunged at his father, but was forced to halt his forward movement when he felt the sharp point of a wand against his chest.

"Do not test me, boy," he warned. "I will not temper myself as I did when you were a child."

Hermione stepped forward slowly. "Sirius," she said softly. She placed both hands on his arm and gently pulled him away. Sirius never removed his gaze from his father's.

"Father," he said, and Hermione was proud that she could not even hear a tremble in his voice or feel one in his body. "I will have a son and he will be the opposite of everything in this room. You are not the last Black. That is my promise and I want you to remember it for the rest of your life." Without another word he swept down the stairs, keeping Hermione very close to him, even after they had left the confines of the house.

He hailed the Knight Bus and pushed Hermione hurriedly onto it. They sat alone in the back of the very empty transport. Neither spoke for a long time.

Hermione watched Sirius the whole time, but his face was unreadable. She finally turned away, staring out the rain spotted window into the night air, when he spoke. It was almost imperceptible.

"James," he murmured.

"What?" asked Hermione softly.

"I have to get to James," he said more to himself than to her.

"I know," she said sadly. "Remus will have brought him to Hogwarts by now," she assured him.

"He has to be told," he said quietly.

"Oh Sirius, we don't know anything..." she stopped when he looked up at her. Tears were shining in his eyes and he was begging her to stop. They knew. The Potter's were dead. They could both feel it and Sirius wouldn't be able to keep control of himself if she continued.

She didn't know how they eventually arrived at Hogwarts, but they did. It was as if they were both sleepwalking, concentrating all of their efforts on putting one foot in front of the other, and knowing that it was either that or succumb to the pain.

Hermione could hear the crying before they reached the room and she faltered, but Sirius never broke his stride. He entered Dumbledore's office without hesitation, leaving the door open behind him. Through the doorway Hermione could see the scene playing out in front of her.

To Hermione, James never looked more like his son then he did that very moment. He was sitting in a chair staring at some point on the far wall. Every bit of him fought for control. Lily was weeping silently behind him, not sure how to reach her husband. He was too far away to be reached. They both looked up when Sirius entered and James stood. The two brothers met each other halfway and threw their arms around each other.

Hermione continued to watch and saw Remus emerge from somewhere to the left of her view and approach her. He wrapped her in a protective hug.

"They found the Potter's," he whispered softly in her ear.

She nodded.

"It was the killing curse," he said even more softly.

She nodded again, too numb to speak. She knew what loss was, had felt it before, but this seemed like too much to handle. The Potter's had welcomed them into their home and treated her like family. She had come to love them in a very short time. Remus led her quietly into Dumbledore's office, shutting the door behind them and blocking everything out.

"Why?" said James, unable to conceal his anguish.

"I don't know," returned Sirius bitterly. "But we won't rest until they pay."

"No," said James savagely, wrenching himself from Sirius's grasp. He turned to where Remus and Hermione were quietly standing. "Why didn't you stop it?" he said, his eyes glowing with rage.

Hermione shook her head, fresh tears streaming down her face.

James reached out and grabbed Hermione's shoulders, shaking her violently. "Why didn't you save them? This is your fault. They'd still be alive if it wasn't for you. You should have never come."

Her teeth chattered as she whimpered, "James, please."

He released her instantly and fell to her feet, sobbing. She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around his shaking frame. "I didn't know. I swear. I didn't know."

Whether he heard her or not, she couldn't tell. He continued to cry, lost in his grief. Lily came and sat, opening her arms to him. He immediately went to her. Remus approached from behind and pulled Hermione to her feet. He tried to hold her, but she pushed him away, choosing instead to leave the room. She stepped out of Dumbledore's office and began to run.

"Hermione," Remus called, following her. But she didn't stop. She ran through the halls and then began climbing the staircases. At first she took the steps two at a time, but then her body began to give in to its tiredness and she was forced to slow her pace, though she pressed herself forward.

She could still hear Remus, but he was a floor below her and couldn't catch up. She ran up the fifth floor stairs and straight to the sixth and then the seventh. She wrenched the door to the seventh floor open and hurtled down the hall searching. She found the door she was looking for at the very end of the hall. The ancient writing was still there, but seemed to glow less brightly than that day almost a year ago. Tsap strawgoh seil rood siht hguorht.

Hermione grabbed at the door handle and yanked, but nothing happened. "Open," she whimpered. "Damn it, open."

"Hermione, no," yelled Remus from the other end of the hall. She could hear him charging toward her.

She kept trying the door handle and then she began banging on the door. "Open," she screamed.

Remus came behind her and grabbed her around her waist pulling her backwards. She fought him and they both loss their balance and fell to the floor. Hermione tried to get back up, but Remus held her fast.

"Let me go," she begged. "Please. I have to get back. I don't want to be here anymore."

"Please Hermione," he begged, his voice choked and desperate. "Please, please."

She eventually stopped struggling and let Remus pull her into his tight embrace.

"You love me," he whispered. "You love me. Please don't go."

They were both breathing heavily. Hermione couldn't say anything. She couldn't think.

"I'll do anything you want," continued Remus. "Just stay. We love each other. We're getting married. Don't throw it away. Just stay."

"They're never going to let us get married," returned Hermione miserably. She turned in his arms. "It would have been better for you if I had never come."

"Don't say that," he said angrily. "It's not true."

"Remus, why do you love me? All I've done is cause everyone misery since I came."

Remus laughed softly. "All you've done since you came here is make me happier than I've ever been. But if I don't make you as happy as you make me then..."

"You make me happy," Hermione interrupted him. "I'm so sorry. It was all just too much. I love you. I do."

"I love you," he repeated. "And everything is going to be all right."

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A/N: Whew! That was intense to write. I hope everyone liked it.

Okay, ten points for all you very smart people out there who knew that Little Hangleton is the town where the Riddle House is, I'll try to think of a harder one next time.

I just wanted to toot my horn for coming up with a very clever name for Sirius's father. Rigel is the name of a star and all the Blacks are named after stars. Oh the cleverness of me.

Here's another talking point. While I was writing this chapter I was thinking about book five a lot. I have been trying to capture the tone of that book in these last couple of chapters, though I don't think I've always been successful. Anyway, I was wondering who gets the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black now that Sirius is dead. Everyone has assumed that Sirius will have left it to Harry, but I don't think JKR will do that. I imagine the house is entailed to the next of heir, or more precisely, the next male heir. This is the way they used to do things in England. (I have no idea if they still hand down manors in this way seeing as I'm not British.) If this theory is true and my research is correct, then Draco Malfoy will inherit the Black House, since his mother was a Black and Lucius Malfoy is not, unless of course Andromeda or Bellatrix had any sons. I'm sure many of you will think this is a great stretch, on the other hand if JKR writes it this way, you all will look back and think I'm a genius.


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: Just so everyone knows where we are now, the date is now January 1979. I was having a hard time getting it straight so I figured you might be too. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

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The weeks and months following the Potter's death were hard on everyone. The Potter's had been a very popular wizarding family and their deaths took a toll on the wizarding community as a whole. The Minister of Magic, Millicent Bagnold, attended and even spoke at their funerals.

No one, of course, was more affected than James. He took his parents death very hard. None of them had seen it coming, especially him. He spent the week after their deaths planning for the funeral and once that was over he shut himself up at Godric's Hollow and only left when he had to go to Auror Training.

Lily was beside herself. She didn't know how to help her husband. James seemed out of reach. Sirius moved back into Godric's Hollow for the first couple of weeks and Remus was there often. The only person who stayed away was Hermione.

Lily had come to see her the week after the funeral with a note from James sincerely apologizing. Lily said that he felt a lot of guilt over that day. Hermione knew James didn't really believe she was guilty, but part of her felt that his accusations had been warranted. The guilt she felt over their deaths often threatened to overwhelm her, though she was careful to hide her feelings.

Lily, Sirius, and Remus all urged her to see James, but she felt it was best to give him space, though it hurt her being apart from him more than anyone knew. James was the link to her past. It wasn't until she no longer had that contact that she truly realized what it meant to see him everyday.

The holidays and the New Year came and went. She and Remus spent a quiet Christmas at Hogwarts. After the passing of Decree 47, Remus was unable to find any work and Hermione's small salary wasn't enough to maintain their flat, so it had to be given up. In truth, Hermione felt better at Hogwarts. At least at the school she never had to worry that they would be visited in the night and Remus would be taken away.

Reports of this exact thing happening to wizarding families with half-breeds appeared in non main stream newspapers. The Daily Prophet never printed anything about Decree 47, except when they were praising it.

Despite not having a job, Remus rarely had a free moment. He had become an extremely useful member of the Order. Dumbledore often sent him on semi-long term missions with older more experienced Order members. Sometimes he and Hermione would be apart for six to nine days, often without her even knowing where he was.

Hermione kept as busy as possible with both her jobs. She loved helping the Professors and she loved her work with the Order. The students had returned and much to Hermione's delight a Weasley now attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Bill Weasley quickly became a favorite with both the students and professors. Hermione watched from afar, delighted by him, but careful not to get too close.

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Hermione was sitting quietly in the suite of rooms she shared with Remus at Hogwarts. She was reading a book, enjoying some rare free time when Remus came home.

As soon as she saw him, she jumped up and ran to him. "You're home," she said, squeezing him tightly. He held her back just as tightly.

Remus had been gone for three days on a mission for the Order. He hadn't been due back for two more days.

"What happened?" she asked. "Why are you back early?" She led Remus to the couch and made him sit. "Are you hungry? Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine," said Remus. "Just come sit with me. I've missed you." She sat next to him and they snuggled close together.

"So why are you back so early? Did the mission go well?"

Remus sighed. "No, the information we had was bad."

"Damn it," murmured Hermione.

"I know," agreed Remus. "There was nothing, no Death Eaters, no hide-out, nothing."

"We were so sure the information was accurate," said Hermione in disappointment.

"We need better intelligence. We need someone on the inside," said Remus. "The information we had came from a person who overheard something. That's hardly reliable. We should have known better."

"We had to take the chance," returned Hermione. "At least you all were safe." Remus had been on the mission with James and Sirius.

"Seeing as the mission was a complete bust," said Remus, "James invited us over to Godric's Hollow for an anti-celebration dinner."

"I don't know," Hermione hesitated.

"Hermione," began Remus. "It's been four months since you've been there. James specifically mentioned you coming."

"He's just being nice," she said. "There's a reason we haven't seen each other since the funeral."

"He's already apologized..."

"I know," interrupted Hermione. "And I accepted. But I...," she trailed off, not knowing how to complete the sentence.

"I don't understand why you've built this wall between you and James. He made a mistake. He was grieving. He had just lost his parents."

"I know," she said quietly.

"Are you going to punish him forever for that mistake?" he asked.

"I'm not punishing him," she insisted.

"He feels like you are. He hates that you two aren't talking."

"He does?"

"Of course," said Remus. "He feels terribly about what happened."

"I didn't realize."

"I know," sympathized Remus. "But you can make things better. Come to dinner tonight."

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll come."

An hour and a half later, both Remus and Hermione were waiting at the front door of Godric's Hollow. Lily threw open the front door and eagerly ushered her friends inside.

"I'm so glad you came," gushed Lily. "Listen you guys, we have to be on our best muggle behavior tonight."

"What?" laughed Remus.

"No magic," she said. "Sirius is bringing Laura with him to dinner tonight."

"Laura," said Hermione in surprise. "Why?"

"Apparently," said Lily with a smile. "The two of them have become quite an item."

"You mean they're together?" asked Hermione incredulously.

Lily nodded. "He's been very secretive. Not even James knew. Sirius only just confessed it to him."

"Why was it a secret?" asked Remus.

Lily shrugged. "Who knows with Sirius? You know how mysterious he likes to be, all brooding and dangerous." She laughed.

James entered the room. "Hey," he greeted them happily. "I'm glad you came," he said addressing them both, but looking at Hermione.

"Thanks for inviting us," responded Hermione. They shared a private smile. She had missed James a lot.

"Did Lily tell you about Sirius' date?"

"Just now," said Remus. "I can't believe he kept this a secret for so long. I thought they were just friends. I didn't realize they even saw much of each other."

"He didn't tell me much," said James. "All he would say is that he wanted to bring her to dinner so we could get to know her better. When I pressed him about it, he admitted that things were starting to get serious between the two of them."

"That's good, isn't it," said Hermione quietly.

"Of course it is," said Lily. "Sirius needs a little fun. All he does is train and work and go on missions for the Order. He's in desperate need of some down time."

"But he hasn't told her what he is?" questioned Hermione.

"Nope," said Lily. "I think it might be a little early to drop the whole magic thing on her."

"Really?" questioned Hermione. "How can they hope to have a good relationship if he's hiding who he is from her?"

"That's our cue to go," said Remus. "Once girls start dissecting our behavior, it's best to be in another room."

James laughed and he and Remus exited the room quickly.

Lily asked Hermione to help her with some last minute things in the kitchen. They moved dishes from the kitchen to the dining room. "So how's married life?" asked Hermione.

"Good," said Lily. "Different than I thought."

"How so?" asked Hermione.

"I don't know," said Lily thoughtfully. "It's a lot harder than I thought, but also a lot more special. I guess you find out stuff about each other that you never expected."

"Like," prompted Hermione.

"I don't know, just stuff," said Lily, side stepping the question. "What about you and Remus?" she asked. "Have you two talked much about the future?"

Hermione shrugged.

Lily opened her mouth to ask another question when there was a knock at the door. "James," she called. "Can you get that?"

"Got it," he called back.

"Ready to get to know this Laura person?" asked Lily.

"I suppose," said Hermione with a sigh. "Although I don't know how much she'll get to know us seeing as we can't be honest about who we are."

"Behave, Hermione," said Lily, "for Sirius."

"Of course I will," said Hermione.

They greeted Sirius and Laura and everyone went immediately to the dining room. They all enjoyed a pleasant dinner and good conversation. Laura was doing her best to be friendly. Hermione thought she was trying too hard, but she couldn't deny that Sirius seemed happy.

At the end of dinner Lily and Hermione got up to clear the dishes and Laura got up also to help.

"That's okay," said Lily to Laura immediately. "You're a guest."

"No, I don't mind," said Laura quickly, gathering a few dishes.

Lily led them all into the kitchen. "I don't have any dish soap," she whispered to Hermione. "I only ever use my wand."

Hermione laughed.

"What?" asked Laura.

"Nothing," said Hermione quickly. "It's just that Lily's run out of dish soap. She's not very good at the whole domestic thing," she teased.

"That's okay," said Laura sympathetically. "I'm not sure I'd be either. You can always throw them in the dish washer."

"Don't have one," said Lily. "Don't worry, we can just leave them in the sink."

"Okay," said Laura, putting the dishes down and going back to the dining room for more.

As soon as she was gone Hermione started laughing and Lily smacked her on the shoulder, "not good at the domestic thing, huh?"

"I'm sorry," laughed Hermione. "It's just that we both grew up muggle and now we can't even do dishes without our wands."

Lily laughed too. "I know. Oh well, it'll just have to wait until later. Do me a favor. Keep Laura out of the kitchen while I make some tea."

"Okay," agreed Hermione. She went back to the dining room and intercepted Laura. "You really don't have to help clear. Lily's got it."

"Are you sure?" asked Laura reluctantly.

"Yes," responded Hermione. "Why don't we join the guys and act like slugs."

Laura laughed. "Okay."

Hermione and Laura entered the living room where James, Remus, and Sirius were in the middle of a lively conversation. They stopped talking as soon as they entered the room.

Laura sat next to Sirius and Hermione next to Remus. "What were you three talking about?" asked Hermione.

"Just work," said Sirius dismissively.

Laura rolled her eyes. "Forget asking for details, Hermione," said Laura. "I've never known anyone so tight lipped about his work in my life. Are you all like this?" Laura asked James and Remus.

"Like what?" asked Lily, emerging from the kitchen with the coffee.

"So secretive about work," supplied Laura.

"Well," said Lily carefully. "We don't talk about it much."

Hermione coughed to cover her snicker. They all sat across from each other in silence. There wasn't much left for them all to talk about. Both Hermione and Lily were dying to know more about the guy's mission, but they couldn't discuss it in front of Laura. They were all relieved when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," said Lily.

She was gone for only a minute when she called frantically for James. Her voice was so urgent that they all jumped up and rushed to the front door. She was halfway to them with her head tucked under the arm of a disheveled looking man who was bent double.

"It's Dung," she said breathlessly.

James rushed forward to relieve Lily of the weight of Mundungus Fletcher.

"They're coming," he wheezed. "It was all a trap. They'll be here any minute."

"What? Whose coming?" questioned James.

"You Know Who," said Dung. "They don't know you're back. They think she'll be home alone."

"Slow down, Dung," said Sirius coming forward. "What's going on?"

"I overheard some old associates of mine talking," he said. "I was fed bad information before. It was to get you out of the house."

"Dung was your source," exclaimed Hermione. "He's not even a member of the Order."

"Don't start, Hermione," said Sirius. "Dung has useful connections. He knows people."

"Right," scoffed Hermione.

"How much time do we have, Dung?" asked Remus.

"I'm not sure."

"They're coming after Lily, you said?" asked James.

Dung nodded.

"Why?" he asked.

"Don't know," replied Dung, "didn't stick around to find out. I thought I should get over here as quickly as possible."

"We have to get out of here," said Hermione. "We're no match for them alone. We have to alert the Order."

"What is going on?" asked Laura. "What are you all talking about? Who's coming? Should we call the police?"

Everyone turned to stare at Laura. None of them had remembered she was there. And now they all realized they had an even bigger problem. There would be no way to get Laura out of Godric's Hollow by apparating. They all turned to Sirius simultaneously, who was looking grim. "I think you all should apparate out of here. I'll get Laura to safety."

"We can't leave you alone," said Hermione. "They'll kill you."

Laura gasped. "Sirius, what is going on?" she said almost frantically. "Who'll kill you?"

Hermione pulled out her wand and pointed it at Laura. "Stupefy."

Sirius caught her before she hit the ground. "What are you doing?" he yelled at Hermione.

"She's panicking and we don't have time to explain things to her. Maybe if you'd been honest with her from the beginning..."

"We don't have time for this," said James, cutting their argument short. "Lily, Hermione, you two get out of here. Alert the Order. Remus, Sirius, Dung, and I will stay here and hold them off."

"No," said Lily immediately.

"Please do what I say," begged James. "They're after you. I don't know why and I don't care. I just want you safe."

"I won't leave you," argued Lily.

"You have to get help," countered James.

"He's right," said Hermione. "If Voldemort is coming we have to get help." She took Lily's arm and cast a look at Remus. "We'll be right back," she promised.

"Hurry," mouthed Remus.

Hermione nodded and tried to apparate, but nothing happened. She stared in horror at Lily. "I can't apparate," she said.

"Neither can I," said Hermione. She turned to the boys. "They're here."

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A/N: I really wish I could play music against this fanfic. I have a wonderful score running through my head for the fic. If only I was a composer. Hope you liked the chapter. Big chapter to come.

By the way, I may have been reading a little too much Jane Austen (Pride & Pred, entailments, etc.), but I still think my theory about who gets the Black house is valid. I was never one to think of these weird theories until I read The Ultimate Unofficial Guide to the Mysteries of Harry Potter. It is a fun book with loads of different theories, most of them are about the fifth book. Giving the house to the Malfoy's just seems like something JKR would do to add tension to the series. I guess we'll all just have to wait and see.


	38. Chapter 38

The air around Godric's Hollow was cold. There was snow on the ground and except for the wind that rustled the black robes of the hooded figures standing quietly in the cold, the air was still.

"I'm freezing," said Evan Rosier to his fellow Death Eater, Kenneth Wilkes.

"Me too, but we've no choice but to endure it. The Dark Lord said to watch the house, so that's what we'll have to do," replied Wilkes.

"I'm still cold," complained Rosier.

"Didn't you cast a warming charm on your robe?" asked his exasperated companion.

He didn't answer, which told his friend everything he needed to know. They sat in near silence blowing into their hands and shifting restlessly, waiting.

About twenty minutes later, they watched as Mundungus Fletcher arrived at Godric's Hollow and Lily Potter ushered him into the house.

"That can't be good," said Rosier.

"Should we contact the others?" asked Wilkes.

"How," snapped Rosier.

"They must know," said Wilkes. "We've lost the element of surprise."

"It's still only the girl and Fletcher in there. They will be no match for the Dark Lord."

"I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am. You worry too much. Dumbledore's little band of blood traitors are no match for us. The Dark Lord is taking them out one by one. Potter's wife is next and then he'll take care of the last Potter."

"What is the big deal about the Potter's anyway? Why is he so intent on getting rid of all of them?"

Rosier leaned in closer to Wilkes and lowered his voice. "Not many know this, but Potter's father was one of the first wizards the Dark Lord approached to join him in our noble endeavor."

"Potter?" replied Wilkes in surprise. "He's been loyal to Dumbledore since he was a young man. Why would the Dark Lord believe he could persuade him?"

Rosier shrugged. "It isn't for us to question the Dark Lord's decision."

"What happened when Potter refused?"

"Nothing at the time, the Dark Lord was not yet in a position to take care of Potter the way he should have been taken care of. He had to bide his time."

"And now he's determined to finish the rest of his family," said Wilkes with a cruel smile.

Rosier chuckled. "The price for rejecting the Dark Lord's friendship is visited on the whole family."

As they talked amongst themselves, they watched as the front door opened for a second time and two men stuck their heads out. They scanned the area and then retreated back into the house.

Wilkes and Rosier stood in stunned silence, not believing what they had just seen.

Rosier whirled on Wilkes and took hold of his robes with his fists. "I thought you said the girl would be alone for the weekend."

"She was supposed to be," choked Wilkes. "I don't understand what they're doing in there."

"Do you think the Dark Lord will be satisfied with that answer," hissed Rosier.

Wilkes pulled uselessly at the fists around his neck, gasping for air. "Please," he choked.

"What is the meaning of this?" said a low voice from behind them.

Rosier jumped and released Wilkes who fell to the ground couching and trying to take in deep gulps of air. Rosier nearly doubled over in a bow before Lord Voldemort. "My Lord," he rasped.

"I do not intend on repeating myself," said Voldemort sternly.

"The Potter girl is not alone," said Rosier quickly, hoping to avoid Voldemort's further displeasure. He was unsuccessful. In seconds a pain beyond pain consumed him and he dropped near Wilkes twitching and screaming.

Voldemort lifted the spell quickly, not because he was feeling any compassion for his follower, but because his screams annoyed him. "How is it that she is not alone?"

"My Lord," spoke up Wilkes, hoping his quick obedience would spare him the punishment Rosier had received. "The conman Fletcher must have alerted them. He arrived only a short time ago."

Voldemort stepped closer, looming over the two men. "And how is it he knows anything of our plans?"

"I am not sure, my Lord. But if you'll remember, it was through him that we were able to get rid of Potter. We allowed him to overhear false information that we knew he would share with Potter and Dumbledore. They must not have taken the bait." Wilkes hunched in on himself preparing to have the Cruciatus Curse descend on him. It never came.

"How many are in there?" demanded Voldemort.

"We don't know," trembled Wilkes.

"Incompetent fools," spit Voldemort, but he did not curse them. Instead he turned toward Godric's Hollow. He strode purposely toward the door and with the flick of his wand, blasted it open.

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"They're here," said Hermione. "They've put up anti-apparition wards." All around her were grim faces. "Can we take the floo out?"

James shook his head. "Too dangerous. If they've put anti-apparition wards up, then they might be monitoring the floo network. We could be walking into a trap."

"We are trapped," said Sirius.

"Maybe we should risk it," suggested Remus.

"Wait a second," interrupted James. "We have some time. After my parent's died, Dumbledore and I talked. We put up some security charms around the house. They won't just be able to walk in."

"How much time do you think we have?" asked Hermione.

"Don't know."

"Well could you take a guess," said Hermione, feeling extremely annoyed.

"I don't know," returned James angrily. "Maybe five minutes, maybe fifteen, maybe they're at the front door right now. Shall I just go and see?"

"Stop it," shouted Lily. "Why are we arguing? We're going to have to work together if we're going to get out of this."

Everybody remained silent, feeling properly chastised.

"If Voldemort's out there, those wards are not going to last for long," continued Lily. "I think we're just going to have to fight our way out of this."

"We should check and see if anyone is really out there yet. Maybe they haven't arrived," suggested Remus, but his voice held no hope.

"It's worth a look," said James, but even he couldn't muster up any hope. He moved toward the front door, Remus following close behind him, and opened it. He and Remus peeked out and scanned the area. "There," whispered James. "To the left, do you see them?"

"Yeah," returned Remus, trying not to move his mouth. "Two of them."

"All right, back inside," said James and he closed the door firmly.

His friends and wife were standing behind him, waiting. "There are two out there," said James grimly.

"That we can see," interrupted Remus. "They're confident," he said angrily. "They're not even bothering to hide themselves."

"Remus is right," said James. "There are probably four times as many that we can't see. We're in big trouble," he sighed.

"Wait a minute," said Hermione. "Don't give up. We just need a plan."

"Hermione's right," said Sirius. "We have to work together."

"What do we do," spoke up Dung, from the corner of the room. He was standing next to the couch where Laura, who was still stunned, was laying.

"We're going to have to wake her up," said Hermione with a sigh. "We can't worry about carrying her as we move. If we have to, we'll use memory charm on her later."

"She's not going to take this well," said Lily regretfully. "She's going to be very frightened."

"Don't worry, I'll take of her," said Sirius. "She's my responsibility." He pulled out his wand and pointed it at her. "Enervate."

Laura blinked a few times, before a small scream escaped her mouth and she sat up.

"Laura," began Sirius. "Please don't be afraid."

"You stay away from me," she whimpered, her fright was written all over her face and in her voice.

"We're not going to hurt you," said Sirius gently.

"What the hell are you," she demanded boldly. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing," said Sirius. "I swear, I'm not going to hurt you. I know it's hard, but you have to trust me. We're all in danger."

"Why should I trust you," said Laura. Her fear had transformed itself into anger. Hermione couldn't help but admire how she was trying to control the natural impulse to panic. Laura pointed at Hermione. "What did she do to me?" she demanded.

"She stunned you," explained Sirius, taking a step forward. Laura jumped off the couch and moved away from Sirius, trying not to turn her back to anyone. "It was a spell," said Sirius.

"You're crazy," she accused. "I'm getting out of here." She tried to push past Sirius, but he grabbed her and held her. "Let me go," she shrieked.

"Please calm down," begged Sirius. "We won't hurt you."

"Laura, please listen to him," said Hermione coming forward. "We're not who you think we are."

Laura continued to struggle, but Sirius held her tightly.

Hermione held out her wand. "Look Laura," she said. She cast a simple spell and bubbles shot out of her wand. "This is my wand. We're wizards. That's how I was able to stun you, but we'd never hurt you."

"Magic tricks," laughed Laura humorlessly. "You expect me to believe that."

"It's more than tricks," said Hermione. She pointed her wand at the couch. "Wingardium Leviosa," she said and the couch hovered off the ground.

Laura gasped, suddenly going still in Sirius' arms.

"We can all do this," explained Hermione. "But we'd never use our wands to harm you."

"You knocked me out," she argued.

"Yes, I know," agreed Hermione. "But I didn't have a choice. You were panicking and there are some very bad men outside who want to harm us all. We don't have time to explain everything to you. We just need you to trust us."

"And if I don't?" asked Laura.

"Then we may all die," said Hermione firmly. "I'm sorry. I know you're scared. We all are. But please, put your fear aside and trust us." Laura still hesitated. "Sirius, let her go," commanded Hermione.

Sirius immediately released Laura and to her credit she didn't try to run.

"So," she began nervously. "You're telling me you're all magicians?"

"Wizards and witches," corrected Hermione.

"Right," said Laura doubtfully. "And there are men outside trying to kill us."

Hermione nodded, not bothering to sugar coat their situation.

"I don't know if I believe you, but if there really are men trying to kill us, then I guess I don't have any choice but to trust you."

"You can trust us, Laura," said Sirius placing his hand on her arm.

She wrenched away. "Don't touch me."

Sirius looked pained at her rejection, but knew he deserved it. She was in danger now because of him. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

She didn't answer.

Satisfied that she would at least follow orders, Hermione turned her attention back to her friends. "We have to..." She never finished her sentence. At that exact moment, the front door blasted open, the force of which threw them all to the floor.

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A man stood alone staring at the imposing castle in front of him. He had stood staring at the one safe place left for him for the last three hours, unable to decide what to do. Every time he tried to approach the castle, something held him back.

"Damn it, Severus," he muttered to himself. "Stop being so bloody indecisive, it's either this or back to Him." He took a deep breath and forced himself to walk into the castle and straight up to the Headmaster's office. If Headmaster Dumbledore wasn't there, he didn't know what he would do. This was his only chance. They were all too closely watched for him to try this again.

Fate was on Severus Snape's side on this night however. The Headmaster was indeed in his office. Dumbledore looked up as Snape entered his office, but made no move to raise his wand. Snape lowered his hood. "Headmaster," he said weakly. "I need your help."

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Hermione coughed as the cloud of dust began to settle around her. She scanned the area around for her friends. Her eyes landed on a man in a black robe standing less than ten feet away from her. She lifted her head to see the imposing figure of Lord Voldemort, standing boldly in the middle of the room.

"Well well well," he said, sounding almost delighted. "I came to deal with the new Mrs. Potter and I find I have stumbled on an even greater prize. I wouldn't have punished my servants so severely if I knew what awaited me here."

Hermione stared back at Voldemort with all the hate she could muster. "You leave Lily alone," she said.

"Done," said Voldemort easily. "I'll take you instead." He stepped toward Hermione, raising his wand.

"Expelliarmus," came several voices all at once.

"Protego," yelled Lord Voldemort, whirling around.

There was a scream and then lots of movement. Hermione felt herself being lifted and dragged away as spells and curses were shouted back and forth. She could hear breaking glass and more yells.

She turned to the person who was dragging her to see it was Remus. He pushed her into an adjoining room and stood at the edge of the wall, aiming and throwing curses back into the living room. Hermione clenched her wand and joined Remus by the edge of the wall. She peered around and took in the scene.

Sirius, James, and Lily were cornered in the living room, using the furniture as shields against Voldemort. Dung had had the presence of mind to pull Laura out of the living room and into the room Hermione and Remus had escaped to. Laura was pale and shaking with her hands over her ears and her eyes screwed shut. Dung was doing his best to keep her calm, while aiming spells at Voldemort to keep his attention from their trapped friends. Hermione and Remus were shouting spell after spell, but nothing seemed to connect. Most of the spells bounced harmlessly off Voldemort, but the effort of keeping the three of them at bay was preventing him from focusing on Sirius, James, and Lily.

"We've got to get him out of there," said Remus to Hermione. "Give them a chance to escape."

Hermione nodded, not bothering to speak and halt her endless onslaught of spells and curses. Then she did something no one was expecting. She dashed back into the living room, facing Voldemort alone. Remus tried to grab her before she made it into the room, but she was too fast and her action too unexpected.

"Brave girl," said Voldemort appreciatively. Remus and Dung were forced to stop throwing spell to avoid the chance they might hit Hermione.

"You want me, then come and get me," said Hermione, trying to show more bravery than she felt.

Voldemort broke out into a cold cruel laugh that only served to anger Hermione further. She raised her wand. "Conjunctivitis," she yelled and then dodged, expecting a return spell, but none came. When she returned her gaze back to Voldemort, she was surprised to see him clutching his face.

"Run," she screamed at Sirius, James, and Lily, but they didn't need to be told. They were already up and running out of the room. Hermione followed them. She was nearly to safety when she felt a spell hit her from behind and she was knocked off her feet. She rolled onto her back quickly and pointed her wand, but she was just as quickly disarmed. She realized with a sinking feeling, how vulnerable she truly was. Her friends had seen her fall and had immediately turned to retrieve her, but Voldemort had thrown an invisible barrier up between them and they were unable to get past it to her.

"Hermione," Remus called out desperately.

Hermione stared at Voldemort, who was advancing on her, looking very angry. He raised his wand. "Crucio," he screamed. Hermione felt the pain ripple through her body and knew she was dying. Pain like this just couldn't be endured.

When Voldemort finally lifted the spell, she could only draw her knees up to her chest and shake in the fetal position. She wouldn't speak or move or do anything to make Voldemort use that curse again.

"Do you know the price of defiance, girl?"

Hermione whimpered, still unable to speak.

"Speak," demanded Voldemort. "Or I will demonstrate it again."

"Y... Y... Yes," stuttered Hermione.

"Leave her alone, you bastard," yelled Remus from behind the invisible barrier. "Or I'll kill you myself."

"How would you like me to demonstrate the full extent of my power on your werewolf?" Voldemort asked Hermione.

"No," said Hermione immediately. "You leave him alone." Voldemort raised his wand and she flinched and clenched her eyes closed.

"Then you will tell me everything I demand to know," he ordered. "Or I will show none of them any mercy."

Hermione looked over to see her friends staring helplessly back. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Hermione, don't tell him anything," said Lily. "You wanted me," she said addressing Voldemort. "I'll go with you willingly if you let her go."

Voldemort laughed. "You are the lesser prize now my dear Mrs. Potter." He approached Hermione and pulled her to her feet. "You'll come with me now, Miss Granger."

"Hermione," her friends called frantically as Voldemort dragged her out of the house.

Hermione looked back and met Remus' eyes. "I love you," she mouthed, before Voldemort pulled her from the house.

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A/N: So sorry for the delayed update, hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. There were two major problems in the last chapter that I have to correct. One of them was placing Charley in Hogwarts when it should have been Bill (I've fixed that already), the second was concerning whether Remus and Hermione had announced their engagement or not. As one reviewer pointed out I had already outed their engagement in a previous chapter. I will correct chapter 37 sometime this week, but it won't change the story too much.


	39. Chapter 39

Voldemort pulled Hermione out of the house to his waiting servants. "Take her," he demanded.

Wilkes and Rosier quickly grabbed hold of Hermione, jostling her roughly between them. Voldemort toyed with her wand, before pocketing it. "Something to add to my collection," he said with a smile. "Let's go."

She knew she should save her strength and not struggle, but she just couldn't go quietly. "Where are you taking me?" asked Hermione boldly.

No one answered her. They just kept dragging her forward. Hermione ducked her head down to the hand that had a hold of her upper arm and bit down on it, hard. Wilkes or Rosier, she couldn't tell which, yelled in pain and released her. She used her free arm to fight against the other.

"Enough," thundered Voldemort as Hermione struggled against one of his Death Eaters. He raised his wand and stunned both Hermione and Wilkes. Rosier, who had been the recipient of the rather painful bite straightened up and approached his fallen comrade and their prisoner.

"Carry her," demanded Voldemort. "I want no more delays."

Rosier revived Wilkes and then picked up Hermione easily enough in his arms. The two Death Eaters gave each other irritated glances, before silently following their master away from Godric's Hollow.

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Back inside Godric's Hollow Sirius, James, Remus, Lily, Dung, and Laura were still trapped behind the invisible barrier Voldemort had erected around them. They were frantically trying spell after spell to break the shield, but nothing was working.

"Come on," yelled Remus in frustration. "He could have her halfway out of the country by now."

"Calm down, Remus," said James. "Panicking isn't going to help Hermione now."

"That's easy for you to say," Remus spat back. "You have your wife right next to you."

James couldn't reply. He knew he would be feeling exactly the same way if their roles were reversed.

"Oh, why did she do that?" moaned Remus. "She's so damn impulsive sometimes."

"She's not impulsive, she's just brave. She was trying to save us," said Lily, putting a reassuring arm around Remus. "That's just the way she is. She would do anything to protect the people she loves. But don't worry. We're going to get her back."

"How?" he asked. "We're trapped. I've used every spell I can think of and nothing."

"What kind of shielding is this?" asked Sirius. "I've never seen anything like it in Auror Training."

"Me neither," agreed James. "Most shielding dissipates fairly quickly. Voldemort must have found a way to make it self sustaining."

"There has to be a way around it," said Remus.

"There is," assured Sirius. "We just have to figure it out."

"Why don't you just try to throw something through it," spoke up a small voice from the floor. Everybody stopped talking and looked down. Laura was sitting with her arms around her knees looking like she was using all her will power not to break down.

"Huh," said Dung.

"You know, like a window," she said even more timidly. "You could try to shatter whatever it is with a board or something."

"It doesn't exactly work like that," said Remus, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

"Wait a minute, she might be on to something," interrupted Sirius.

"Come on, Sirius. Get real. She's a muggle. What does she know about anything?" said Remus, his voice tinged with anger and frustration.

"Hey," yelled Laura, getting to her feet. "I don't know what you just called me, but I'm sure it wasn't a compliment. And may I just remind you that I didn't ask to be in the middle of all of this. But it seems to me that all your little wand waving isn't doing a bit of good and every second you all waste is a second Hermione doesn't have." Then Laura strode past Remus and picked up a medium sized lamp, sitting on the table nearest them, and flung it at the invisible barrier.

Everyone went running as the lamp sailed past them and shattered against the shielding.

"See," accused Remus. "Nothing. Now sit down, be quiet, and let us handle this."

"Wait a second, Remus," said James. "I think that might have done something. When the lamp hit the shield it flickered. Didn't you see it?"

"Here," said Sirius moving to grab the table the lamp had just been resting on. "Let's try this."

James moved to help Sirius. "Stand back," he ordered.

He and Sirius each took an end of the table and with all their strength heaved it toward the shield. The table broke, like the lamp, but not before the shielding flickered and then seemed to blink off. Remus rushed forward with his arm outstretched. When he reached where the barrier should have been, he encountered nothing. He didn't bother to stop or wait, he just ran through the house and out the door, with Sirius, James, and Lily on his heels.

When he got to the front yard, the emptiness of it overwhelmed him. "Hermione," he yelled.

James, Sirius, and Lily came up behind him. James put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "They're gone, Remus. We have to alert the Order now."

Remus wrenched away from James and moved further into the yard. "Hermione," he screamed hoarsely. "Tell us where you are, honey?"

"Remus," said Lily in a soothing voice. "We have to get help. I know you're upset, but we can't break down now. Hermione can't afford for us to."

Lily's soothing voice seemed to have a calming effect on Remus. He nodded once, before allowing Lily to lead him back to the house. "James, you have to alert the Order," ordered Lily. "Get everyone here as fast as you can. Sirius, Remus, and I will wait for you."

"If I get far enough away from the house I might be able to apparate," he said. "I'll be back as soon as I can." James took off at a run away from the house, while Lily ushered Remus and Sirius back into the house.

She forced Remus to sit down and sat next to him, talking quietly in an attempt to keep him calm, but more importantly to keep him in the house. She worried that he might try to take off and find Hermione by himself.

Sirius knew Remus was best left in Lily's capable hands so he went to check on Laura. She was standing next to Dung grilling him. Dung was looking around as if he'd very much like to escape.

"So exactly how many people are out there like you guys? Do you all know each other? Is it some kind of club? And who was that man?" Laura was throwing questions at Dung one after another.

"Laura," interrupted Sirius. As soon as Dung saw him, he quickly moved away from Laura.

She whirled around, surprised to see him. "I thought you went to get Hermione back."

"It's not that simple," said Sirius quietly.

"Have you called the police?"

"Umm, no."

"Why the bloody hell not? She's been kidnapped," said Laura angrily.

"Like I said, it's not that simple. We can't involve the muggles."

"Muggles, what does that mean? Remus called me one. Is it some kind of an insult?"

"No," said Sirius quickly, "of course not. It just means non-magic folk."

"Non-magic? You mean normal?" she said somewhat meanly.

Sirius set his jaw. "We are normal. We're just... different as well."

"To say the least," returned Laura, crossing her arms. "How could you keep something this big from me?" She laughed bitterly. "I don't think I even know what exactly this whole thing is."

"There are laws," explained Sirius. "We can't just run around telling muggles we exist."

"So then it's some kind of secret society?" asked Laura.

"No, not exactly. You have to understand. We're just trying to protect you all."

"Protect us," laughed Laura. "Yeah, you did a great job of protecting me tonight."

"Laura, I'm so sorry," said Sirius in a pained voice. "I didn't know what would happen tonight. Believe me, I never intended for you to get hurt."

Sirius seemed so upset that Laura immediately felt awful for being so harsh. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I just don't know what to think. I was so scared and I felt so helpless. I don't think I've ever been more scared in my life. I can still feel it."

Sirius looked down at his feet. "I can fix that, if you want."

"I don't understand," said Laura slowly.

"I can make you forget everything that happened tonight." He paused. "I could even make you forget that you knew me."

"How?" she asked curiously.

"It's just a spell. It won't hurt you," he said raising his wand.

"No," she yelled, backing away from him. "Stop!" She put her hands out in front of her as if he were attacking her.

Sirius quickly dropped his wand. "I swear it'll be fine. We do it all the time."

"You take peoples memories?" she said in a horrified voice. "That's awful."

"It's for your own protection," he tried to explain. "You said it yourself, you were scared."

"I don't want you using that thing on me," she said firmly. "Just put it away."

Sirius pocketed the wand. He sighed deeply.

"Are you okay?" she asked sincerely.

"I'm just trying to do the right thing. I just wish..." he trailed off. He couldn't have this conversation with Laura now. He didn't have the energy or the focus. The only thing he could think about was Hermione.

"Hermione seems like the kind of person who could handle anything," returned Laura quietly, reading his thoughts.

Sirius felt a lump grow in his throat. He nodded once, before turning his face away. "I'll take you home."

"No," she protested. "I want to help."

"You can't," he said simply. "If anything you'll be in the way."

Laura frowned, feeling the sting of the comment, but she let him take her arm and lead her to where Remus and Lily were sitting quietly. "I'm going to take Laura home before the others get here," he announced.

Lily looked up. "Okay," she said slowly. "But come right back."

Sirius nodded and gently pushed Laura towards the door.

"Sirius," Lily called. They both turned. "Come right back," she said firmly.

"Yeah," he said quietly and then he and Laura disappeared out the front door.

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Hermione rolled over and felt pain shooting through her body. All her muscles seemed to have contracted and her bones seemed to creak as she stretched. She sat up slowly and took in her surroundings. She was in some kind of metal cage in an empty room with a concrete floor and gray walls. There was no sign of anyone else, but she bet that Voldemort and his Death Eaters weren't far.

She forced herself to stand, though she felt unsteady on her feet and walked to the edge of her metal prison. She put her hands on the metal bars and pushed, but nothing happened. She hadn't expected anything to happen.

She moved purposefully around her cage pulling and pushing at the bars, testing every one for weakness. She was startled out of her task when the door to the room opened unexpectedly. She jumped back and edged to the back of the cage.

She was definitely surprised to see who had walked in. "Peter," she gasped.

"I didn't believe it," Peter smirked. "I had to see for myself."

Hermione frowned. Peter definitely seemed more confident. She was sure he wouldn't sound as smug if a row of metal bars hadn't separated them.

"So this is where you've been hiding," she returned casually. She knew he was playing a game and as far as she was concerned she wasn't even going to act like she was the one who was completely helpless.

"Where'd you expect me to be?" asked Peter. "I'm a marked man."

"That really is the draw back of throwing your support behind the most hated man in the wizarding world."

"The most feared man," he corrected.

Hermione smirked, "if you say so."

Peter leered at her. "We'll see how long you keep your pretty little attitude once they start working on you."

"What do you want, Peter?" she asked through a clenched jaw. He had obviously come to gloat and she wished he would just do it and get it over with so she could get back to figuring out her escape.

Peter paused. He didn't really want anything. His only purpose in coming into the room had been to gloat over their new positions. Peter loved weakness in others, especially when he held the power.

"Wormtail," a voice shrieked through the air. Peter jumped and immediately scurried to the door.

"Hurry along," Hermione goaded him. "Your master's calling."

Peter gave her a hateful look before quickly leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

With a sigh, Hermione returned to her previous task. An hour later, she was pacing in the confined space. Three hours later, she was beginning to feel claustrophobic. Seven hours later, she was sitting on the floor with her head between her knees forcing herself to take deep breaths. She had never thought of herself as claustrophobic, but the endless hours of entrapment were proving to be more than she thought she could handle.

The worst of it was the waiting. Not a soul had come to see her or check on her since Peter had disappeared. They hadn't bothered to feed her or give her any water, but she hadn't counted much on their hospitality. She almost wished they would hurry up and do whatever they were going to do to her and get it over with.

Hermione didn't know she had fallen asleep until she was being rudely awakened. She felt disoriented and slightly panicked as she woke to two men hauling her to her feet and dragging her from the room. She stumbled as she tried to get her footing and walk on her own. The two Death Eaters didn't seem to overly care whether she walked on her own or they had to drag her.

She blinked the sleep away from her eyes and began taking in her surroundings. Who knew the next time she might get an opportunity to examine her environment. Not that it mattered. They dragged her through one hall after another, none of them distinguishable from the last, before pulling her into a large empty room and unceremoniously pushing her to the floor.

"We have brought her, my Lord," said one Death Eater solemnly before scurrying away, followed by his partner.

Hermione righted herself and stood as quickly as possible. She was facing Lord Voldemort. She waited for him to speak, not caring to make any of this easy for him.

He didn't speak for several minutes. He only stared at her. She might have been unnerved if she had been a bit younger and seen a bit less in her life, but she knew too many people who had stood where she was and lived to tell the tale in the past, present, and future. That thought alone gave her the extra bit of courage she needed to return Voldemort's stare.

"I can see now," he began. "That Dumbledore's spy is nothing more than a weak little girl."

Hermione didn't respond.

"Stubborn to the end," he remarked and then continued to stare at her. Hermione couldn't understand what he was doing until it was almost too late. A sudden stray thought ran through her mind, an image of the door to the seventh floor that led to the Gateway.

Hermione shook her head, effectively clearing the thought from her head, but now she knew what Voldemort was doing. He was using Legilimens against her. She closed her eyes and thought back to fifth year. She had learned everything she could about Occlumency when Harry had been forced to learn it with Snape. She knew the theory, but she had never been able to practice and she didn't have a wand.

She could feel stray thoughts stirring in her memory, swirling and bobbing like if someone was stirring her memories with a spoon. He was searching, searching for her identity and her secrets. She had to keep him away from the truth at all costs.

"What, no Veritas Serum?" she asked, trying to keep her thoughts focused on the present.

"Unnecessary," returned Voldemort.

"But certainly more practical," she said, breathing deeply.

"Talking will not prevent me from getting what I want," he said. "I will know all."

Hermione didn't respond. It was taking all her energy to keep her focus. Then to her horror, the one image she wanted to see less than any other began to take focus. An image of Harry became clearer and clearer in her mind as Voldemort pulled him from her.

She felt like she was going to be sick and then she was on her hands and knees, unable to stand against the assault any longer. She tried to redirect her thoughts, but she couldn't, he was too far in. Then Hermione was on her back and she felt as if she were falling through a very large abyss.

When she woke she found herself back on the grounds of Hogwarts, under her tree by the lake. She felt disoriented and confused. Had it all been a dream? Then she noticed the considerable lack of noise she usually associated with Hogwarts. At this time of year, you could hear the students everywhere, but there was almost no noise, not even the sounds of the Care of Magic Creatures menagerie that was usually so loud near the lake. Also it felt unseasonably warm for January. She should have been freezing in just her robes, but she wasn't.

Then Hermione realized where she was. She had been here once before. She turned in a full circle, searching, and she wasn't disappointed. Near the lake stood two boys, one with a shock of red hair and the other with a mop of untidy black hair. She ran and when she reached them she threw her arms around both Ron and Harry, holding them tightly.

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A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but life can be complicated at times. I'm heading for vacation soon, so I probably won't be updating for two weeks. I hope this is enough to hold you all over.


	40. Chapter 40

Hermione held both Harry and Ron tightly, not wanting to let them go. She was afraid they'd slip away from her if she did. When she finally did let them go, they were both smiling at her. The sight alone brought tears to her eyes.

"You have to listen quickly, Hermione," said Harry. "We don't have a lot of time. You have to keep Voldemort from finding out the truth at all costs."

"I'm trying," said Hermione. "I don't know what to do."

"We're here to help you," said Ron. "Don't worry."

"So what do I do?" she questioned.

"You're going to tell him what he wants to hear," said Harry.

"What?" shouted Hermione. "Have you lost your mind? He can't know about you or the time traveling. It would ruin everything. You have to know that."

"You're not going to tell him about any of that," interrupted Ron, "you're going to tell him what he wants to hear."

"And what he wants to hear is that you're a spy," finished Harry.

"He'll know I'm lying," said Hermione.

Harry nodded. "I know, but you just have to keep him from finding out the truth long enough for help to come."

"What if nobody comes?" asked Hermione.

"They're coming," Harry reassured her. "Remus will come for you."

Tears immediately popped into Hermione's eyes and she quickly brushed them away. "I love him so much," she whispered.

"We know," replied Ron.

"We want to get married," she said hesitatingly. Neither Ron nor Harry answered so she pressed on. "I want to have a family with him." Again neither of them responded. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" she asked.

"Are you looking for our approval to stay with him in this time?" asked Harry quietly.

She nodded.

"Is that what you really want?" asked Ron.

"I think so," said Hermione. "But I don't know how I could ever let you two go. The thought of never seeing you again, never being able to talk to you, it scares me to death. I never knew how much I needed both of you until I didn't have you anymore."

"We'll always be with you, Hermione," assured Ron.

She started crying harder and both boys approached her, hugging her from both sides.

"Don't worry," said Harry. "My dad and godfather will watch out for you, just like Ron and I did."

Hermione smiled through her tears. "And I'll watch out for them." She turned her head so she and Harry were looking into each others eyes and an understanding passed between them.

"Thank you," he mouthed and then to her horror, his face began to fade away.

"Wait," she said. "Don't go, not yet." She could feel herself slipping back into reality. "Harry, Ron," she called out, but her voice sounded far away. Her vision blurred further and then she plummeted into silent blackness again.

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Hermione woke up in her cell, feeling bruised. She opened her eyes, but didn't have the energy to move so she just lay on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. She wondered why Voldemort had put her back into the cell. She didn't think he had gotten any information out of her but she couldn't be sure.

Hermione wished she knew how long she had been out. It was terribly disconcerting to lose track of time. She didn't even know if it was morning or evening or how long had it been since the Death Eaters had brought her here.

She heard a noise to her left and turned her head, but made no effort to get up. A Death Eater came in carrying a tray. He opened her cell and placed the tray on the floor. Hermione did a double take when she realized who the Death Eater was. She sat up quickly.

"Wait," she called out as the Death Eater was leaving.

Severus Snape turned back to her, but said nothing.

"Snape," she said in a hushed voice.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Yes," he replied icily.

Hermione met his gaze, pleading with her eyes.

"Did you want something, Granger," he asked.

Hermione knew it was now or never. She stood quickly and went to the edge of the small prison cell. "Will you help me?" Snape's expression didn't change. Hermione wondered if he had even heard her. "Please," she begged quietly. "I know it's in you. You're not one of them. I know you're not."

"You don't know anything," he said, before turning away again.

"Snape," Hermione called out. "Severus, please." Hermione clenched her jaw in frustration. She was glad Harry and Ron weren't here to see her beg Snape. For that matter, she was glad James, Sirius, and Remus weren't here either. Thinking about everyone only made her want to cry and crying was not going to help her now. She needed her mind focused now.

Hermione took the tray of food that Snape left and ate its contents quickly. Then she sat down and took a deep breath. Voldemort was coming back for her eventually. Of that, she was sure and when he did, she was going to be ready.

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James's house was abuzz with activity. Members of the Order were constantly entering and exiting. James and Lily were doing their best to fill Moody in on what had occurred.

"So he took her?" Moody asked.

Lily nodded.

"But he wasn't coming for her," interjected James. "He said he was coming for Lily."

Moody nodded. "That's not surprising. Voldemort seems to have developed a sort of obsession with you Potter's."

James tightened his grip on his wife's hand. "Do me a favor and not act so casual when you say that," he said angrily.

"James," said Lily quietly. "He's not being casual. It's the truth. We can't hide from the truth."

"Smart wife you've got there," commented Moody. "But all of this is beside the point right now. We have to concentrate on finding Hermione."

"Just let us know what you want us to do," said Lily.

"I want you to stay right here and not leave this house," said Moody sharply. "Last thing we need is to worry about you two."

"Wait a minute," interrupted James. "I'm an Auror. My job is out there. Now, I agree Lily should stay put..."

"Hey," interrupted Lily.

"But I can't do that," continued James, ignoring her. "It's my job and I'm going to do it."

"James, I'm not going to sit here while Hermione's out there. I want to help," said Lily.

"Absolutely not," said James firmly. "You heard Moody."

"Enough, both of you," said Moody angrily. "Neither one of you is going out there." James opened his mouth to protest. "No more arguments, Potter," said Moody. "I'm ordering you to stay put. I don't need to worry about two more people right now."

James was fuming, but didn't respond.

"Now, where's Black?" asked Moody.

"He went to go take home Laura," said Lily quietly.

"The muggle?" asked Moody.

Lily nodded.

"I'll have to send someone by and take of that," said Moody in exasperation. "Black should have taken care of it himself."

"I don't think she wanted her memory modified," said Lily.

Moody stared at her. "Since when do we allow muggles to choose these things?" he asked.

"Sirius and Laura are sort of involved," said James.

"That may be," replied Moody. "But the Ministry's has made this matter very clear. No muggles are to know about the existence of Voldemort or the Death Eaters, no exceptions."

Neither James or Lily said anything.

"Where's Lupin?" asked Moody, continuing on quickly.

"He's just there," said Lily, turning and indicating behind her. "Oh no," she breathed.

James and Moody turned in the direction she was pointing, but Remus wasn't there.

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It hadn't been hard for Remus to sneak away. Once the Order members started arriving at Godric's Hollow, he merely patiently waited for everyone's attention to be diverted and slipped out the front door.

A few hours later he was sitting in the Hog's Head with a glass of Ogden's fire whiskey. Every so often he lifted the glass of whiskey to his lips and took a very small sip to give everyone the impression that he was relaxing at the end of a really long day when in actuality he was listening.

The Hog's Head was always known for its shadier clientele. Remus had no idea where Hermione had been taken. His only hope was finding a Death Eater. He hoped a few drinks might loosen someone's tongue and then he would pounce. If he could get a Death Eater alone, he knew he be able to force them to reveal all the information they knew.

Remus had already been sitting at a table in the far corner of the pub for over an hour and was no closer to his goal than when he first walked in the door. The barkeep kept shooting him curious looks. He clearly felt that a man who ordered one drink within the span of an hour and then only drank half the drink was clearly up to something.

Remus realized that he was wasting his time and stood dejectedly. He didn't know what to do next. Hermione was out there, in the hands of the enemy and he was powerless to help her. He felt the bile rise in his throat and wished he hadn't drunk the half glass of whiskey.

He dropped a few sickles on the table and wearily left the pub. He walked determinedly through Hogsmeade, refusing to give up. The Hog's Head wasn't the only place shady characters hung out. He could still walk around Knockturn Alley and any number of other places dark wizards met.

He was halfway between the Hog's Head and the Honeydukes when he heard movement behind him. During the day, the noise probably wouldn't have bothered him, but it was well after midnight and the streets of Hogsmeade were virtually deserted. He turned slowly, tightening the grip on his wand. There was no one behind him.

He pulled his cloak tighter around him to block out the chill and began moving again, this time more cautiously. He had only walked about twenty feet when he heard what sounded like footsteps approaching quickly from behind.

Remus whirled around, his wand out, but he was too late. An arching red light flashed in front of him, knocking him off his feet. His wand clattered some ten feet away from him. He tried to get at it, but was almost immediately hit by a second stunner and fell heavily to the ground.

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Nothing in her life had prepared Hermione for the feeling of complete powerlessness that she felt sitting on the cold concrete floor of her prison cell. All her life she had been used to fighting her way out of situations. She wondered why they didn't teach a course at Hogwarts in what to do when one was captured by the enemy. She had a sinking suspicion that she might have been one of the few people who the Death Eater's captured that had actually been kept alive.

The small amount of food they had brought to her before was already a distant memory and she wished she had saved some of it, rather than inhaling it all at once. Then at least she would have had something to do, rather than count the tiny fissures that ran along the floor in intricate webbed patterns.

It felt like at least a day had passed since she had been brought to see Voldemort, but there was no way of really knowing. She had drifted off to sleep a few times, but every noise jolted her awake and she knew she wasn't getting any real sleep. As a result she was feeling very lethargic, so much so that she didn't lift her head when she heard people enter the room she was in.

When they opened her cell, she held her breath, expecting them to pull her roughly to her feet, but they didn't. After a few seconds she lifted her head to see two Death Eaters dragging a body into her cell.

Hermione stood quickly. "What's going on?" she demanded.

"Visitor for you," said one of the Death Eater's meanly. They dropped the body and it fell heavily in front of her. Hermione dropped to her knees and rolled the body over carefully. Her gasp of anguish when she realized it was Remus delighted the Death Eater's.

"Stubborn, that one," commented one Death Eater.

Hermione cradled Remus's head gently in her lap. He had obviously been beaten severely. Both of his eyes had been blackened and there was a nasty cut and bruise on his cheek that was already beginning to purple. His knuckles were bloody as if he had struck back at his attackers and his clothing was torn.

His breathing was hitched, as if every inhale was painful. "Oh Remus," she cried, doing her best to make him comfortable on the floor. He lifted his hand slowly and touched her cheek and she pressed into its warmth. "What did they do to you?" she whispered.

The Death Eaters closed them in the cell. "The Dark Lord wants you to know that you can expect more of the same the longer you choose to be silent."

"I would suggest you tell him everything he wants to know," said the second Death Eater, as if he were a dear friend offering another friend some sound advice. "I'm not sure how much more your boyfriend can take."

Hermione glared at both Death Eaters as they left the room. Then she immediately returned her attention to Remus.

"Are you okay?" he asked groggily. "Did they hurt you?"

A fresh wave of tears fell down her face. "I'm fine," she choked out. "Don't worry about me, just lie still."

Remus didn't even have the energy to nod. He had been captured by the Death Eater's hours ago. They had told him Hermione was near and if he didn't want her killed then he had better tell them everything they wanted to know. When Remus had insisted on having proof that she was alive, the torture had begun. When the Cruciatus Curse failed to loosen his tongue, the Death Eater's had resorted to the more barbaric muggle types of torture. Secretly, Remus would have taken the punches and kicks to the Cruciatus Curse any day. He knew the evidence of his beatings had been for Hermione's eyes only.

"Why did you come?" she asked, every word sorrowful.

He opened his eyes and met hers, as difficult as it was through the bruises. "I couldn't leave you here," he said as if the answer was obvious.

"Oh Remus," she sighed. She placed her hand on the side of his face and he winced. "I'm sorry," she whispered, removing her hand.

"No," said Remus quickly, reaching for her hand. He placed it back on his face and closed his eyes. They sat in silence, momentarily forgetting the world around them.

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"Damn that boy," shouted Moody.

Sirius entered James's house quickly, seeking out his best friend. "What happened?" he asked James.

"It's Remus," said James under his breath. "He's run off, probably out looking for Hermione."

Sirius shook his head. "By himself?" he questioned.

James nodded.

"Damn," muttered Sirius. "Why didn't he wait for us? What does he think he can do by himself?"

"Black, it's about time," Moody called out when he spotted Sirius. "I need you to meet up with the Prewitt's. They're going to be making a search of Hogsmeade."

"The Prewitt's?" questioned Sirius. "But James is my partner."

"Potter and his wife are confined to the house," said Moody curtly. "If I'd have known what a fool Lupin was, I would have made sure to do the same with him. As it is, we now have two Orders members unaccounted for."

Sirius knew better than to argue with Moody. He wasn't the head of their department and the best Auror ever because he knew how to keep his temper.

Sirius gave a sympathetic look to James, knowing how difficult it was for his best friend to sit the search out.

"Don't worry James," said Sirius. "We'll find them, we'll find both of them."

Lily came up and stood by James' side. "Be careful Sirius," she said.

"I will, Lil," returned Sirius, before pulling his cloak on and leaving the house.

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A/N: You are all so patient and I love you for it. I had a fabulous time on vacation, but now it's time to return to regular life.

I am very sorry to those of you who thought Hermione had made it home. I have such a clear idea of where the story is going that it didn't occur to me that some people might interpret the cliffhanger that way. I should have realized. No, it was another dream/out of body experience for her, like when she nearly drowned in the lake at Hogwarts. I don't really want to define too specifically what happens when she see Ron and Harry. I'll just say that when Hermione is closest to death or in times of great need it happens. Whether you want to call it a dream or a vision or something else entirely is up to the reader. It will probably happen again so watch out for it.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. By jumping from scene to scene rather quickly, I was trying to establish tension. Did it work? Also, I love everyone who reviews to tell me how much they love the story (you have no idea how much I love it), but I also appreciate those of you who give well thought out critiques of the writing, plot, characters, and I have used many critiques to improve the writing, so please feel free to let me know if anything can be improved.

Thanks again for your patients and I hope to be updating with more frequency in the coming months. I don't usually get too personal, but just so everyone knows in the past couple of months I have been in two weddings, a musical, and have gone through four major hurricanes, yes I am a Floridian, so it has not always been easy to sit at my laptop for long periods of time. I am looking forward to a nice quiet holiday season (I think that's an oxymoron).


	41. Chapter 41

Remus woke to the soft feel of cotton against his cheek and the cold hardness of concrete against his body. "Morning," said a soft voice. He lifted his head to see Hermione's concerned face.

"How long have I been out?" he asked groggily.

"I'm not sure," she replied. "A few hours." She stroked his head, which had been resting on her thigh. He tried to sit up. "No, don't get up," she said, pushing him gently down. "Rest, you need it."

"I can't," he said, resisting her. "We have to plan our escape."

"Darling," said Hermione, doing her best not to sound too condescending. "Just how do you propose we do that?"

"We'll figure something out," he said stubbornly, struggling to sit up.

She let him rise and watched as he winced in pain. "You have no idea what kind of injuries you have," she said through gritted teeth. "Will you please lie still?" Seeing Remus bruised and in pain was just a bit more than she could stand. She hated that he was in danger because of her. Remus stumbled and Hermione quickly jumped to her feet to steady him. "See," she said accusingly. "Now sit down," she ordered.

Remus had no choice but to do as she said. He certainly was in no shape to fight her. No sooner had she gotten him to sit than they were joined by a third person. Remus tightened his grip on Hermione's arm, almost painfully, when Peter Pettigrew approached their cell.

"My old friend," said Peter, without a trace of warmth in his voice.

"Go to hell, Wormtail," snarled Remus.

"Tsk tsk," said Peter. "Is that anyway to treat an old school chum?" he asked. "It seems to me that someone in your position would want to be a little nicer to the person who controls your fate."

Hermione laughed out loud. "Keep trying to convince yourself that you're someone important," she mocked.

"Shut up, mudblood," he shouted, losing his temper.

Remus stood, pulling Hermione up with him. "You wouldn't dare say that if we weren't separated by these bars," he said through his teeth.

"Does it make you feel powerful, Peter?" asked Hermione. "Are you feeling brave standing all the way over there?"

"Shut up," he shouted again. "I have more power than either of you will ever know. And when the Dark Lord gets through with you, we'll see who the brave one is."

"You're boring us, Pettigrew," said Remus. "And if you think James and Sirius will ever stop hunting you if anything happens to us then you're even thicker than I thought you were."

For the first time Peter paled.

Remus saw the fear flicker across his face. "You better pray Voldemort wins this," he said icily. "Because if he doesn't we'll kill you."

A shiver ran through Hermione's body and suddenly she was thirteen all over again and standing in the Shrieking Shack watching Sirius and Remus point wands at a sickly looking Peter. "Just get out of here, Peter," she said.

Surprisingly, Peter did back away towards the door, but he wasn't done tormenting Remus and Hermione. "I don't think you'll ever get to follow through on that threat, Moony," he said in a high pitched voice. "At least she won't." He smiled. "Have you forgotten the date?" he asked. "By my calculations we're nearing the end of the month. You know what happens at the end of the month, don't you? How could you forget?"

Both Hermione and Remus felt the breath leave their bodies simultaneously.

"Won't it be comfy for the two of you to finally be together for Remus's special time of the month?"

Remus paled. "You can't be serious."

Peter shrugged. "You've been so inseparable since she came, I'm sure it won't be so bad."

"You're inhuman," whispered Hermione.

"He's the only one who's inhuman," replied Peter.

Remus launched himself against the bars, causing Peter to jump backwards in fright. "I swear I'll kill you if you hurt her."

"But I won't touch her, Moony," said Peter, reaching for the door knob. "It'll be all you." He turned the handle and exited with a smile.

Remus turned slowly to face Hermione. Her face was pale and she was biting her lower lip. She swallowed. "How many days?"

Remus locked his eyes on hers. "Three," he said quietly.

She nodded and slowly moved toward him, tucking herself inside his embrace. He had a lump in his throat as he tightened his grip on her.

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Voldemort's followers were scrambling to meet their master's needs. He had emerged from his interrogation of the prisoner weak and with a bloody nose. He had refused to say anything to the Death Eaters and merely ordered them to return the girl to her cell. They had found Hermione unconscious but seemingly unhurt. Once they had taken care of her, they returned to Voldemort.

"Can we get you anything, my Lord," simpered Rosier.

Voldemort waved him away with one hand. "Send Malfoy and Snape to me immediately."

"Yes, my Lord," said Rosier, moving quickly to do as Voldemort bid. In minutes, Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape hurried into the room.

"You sent for us, my Lord?" asked Malfoy.

"Yes," said Voldemort. "It goes without saying that everything said in this room remains between the three of us."

"Of course, my Lord," said Snape quickly.

"You are my most trusted and loyal Death Eaters," began Voldemort, "which is why I am sharing this with you." Voldemort took a deep breath. "I am unable to extract the information I need from the girl. She is somehow able to block me."

"What about Veritus Serum, my Lord," asked Malfoy, throwing a sideways glance at Snape.

Snape looked down at his feet, clearing his throat uncomfortably. "We've run out of the potion and the next batch won't be ready for another week."

Voldemort waved his hand again. "I already knew. No, our usual methods of persuasion don't seem to be an option. Fortunately, Lupin has given us a third option. In less than three days, the moon will cycle and Mr. Lupin will transform. I imagine as time progresses and the gravity of her silence becomes more apparent, Miss Granger's tongue will loosen."

"And if it doesn't," Snape dared to ask.

"That's why I called you in here," said Voldemort. "You're to make sure she talks."

"Understood sir," said Malfoy. "We have other options. The Death Eaters worked on Lupin for a while. We might be able to persuade him to reveal what she knows."

I want the information she has and I'll accept no excuses."

"Yes sir," said Snape.

"Go," dismissed Voldemort and Malfoy and Snape hurried out of the room.

"Shall we get to it then?" asked Malfoy, though it really wasn't a question. He led the way through a long maze of halls. The Death Eaters current headquarters was really Malfoy Mansion, though it had only been that for less than a week. Voldemort refused to remain in any one place too long.

Malfoy Mansion had the benefit of many dark wards, not to mention a hidden dungeon where they were currently holding their two prisoners. Malfoy swept through the house, his confident presence sending the other Death Eaters scrambling to keep out of his way.

If Snape hadn't been so tormented, he might have found the sight amusing. As it was, he found himself much too preoccupied to find anything in his current situation amusing.

Snape's meeting with Dumbledore had gone almost exactly like he expected. Dumbledore had been open, but guarded and had made no commitments to him. He knew he would have to give proof and soon that he truly wanted to escape the Death Eater's.

Snape didn't know how he had been so blind. Joining the Death Eaters had seemed so natural. He was a pure blood and he believed in the purity of that. He also had to admit that he couldn't see himself being on the same side as James Potter and his little band of followers. They had tormented him in school and done their best to make him feel like he was beneath them. But he knew better, it was James Potter and Sirius Black who were beneath him. The Death Eaters had shown him that.

But then things began to get out of control. His fellow Death Eaters were cruel beyond his imagination. One evening, when he had reluctantly allowed Malfoy, Rosier, Avery, and the Lestrange brothers to drag him out for a night of drinking, they had encountered a muggle teenage girl. In all honesty, she had escaped Snape's notice. She was a muggle and should have been below their notice, but Malfoy and the Lestrange's had wanted to have some fun and Rosier and Avery were always willing to be dragged along anywhere. They had cornered the poor girl and raped her. Then to cover their crime, they'd performed the Killing Curse and dumped her body in an empty alley before resuming their way to the Hog's Head for drinks.

Snape hadn't participated in the rape or murder, but he had done nothing to stop it either. He kept telling himself that the girl was a muggle and therefore hardly worth thinking about, but he couldn't seem to get her face out of his head. He had ended the night vomiting in the shrubbery outside the Hog's Head and blaming his sickness on too much drink. One week later, he had made his way back to Hogwarts to see Professor Dumbledore.

Now he had the unenviable task of forcing information out of Hermione Granger. Oddly enough, while they were at Hogwarts together, he hadn't had strong feelings about her. She had been nothing but a nuisance, taken under Potter and Black's wing. He couldn't see what was so special about her, except for what Pettigrew said about her. It was Pettigrew who had convinced the Dark Lord that she was some kind of spy. Snape had trouble believing it, despite the odd circumstances of her arrival.

But that had all changed the day before when he had brought the food to her. She had called out to him and asked him to help her. She had said that he wasn't one of them, that she knew he wasn't. She had looked at him with such hope and belief in her eyes. He was haunted by those eyes. What did she know, he wondered? He had felt like she was seeing right through him. The thought was terrifying.

Snape followed Malfoy to the dungeons with a knot in his stomach. Malfoy always appeared to be a man in complete control of himself, it was one of the reasons he was one of Voldemort's right hand men, but Snape had seem him lose control and every time it happened the consequences were severe.

If she indeed had anything to tell, Snape knew Hermione would never give up information that might hurt her side. She was after all a Gryffindor and therefore stubborn and unflinchingly loyal. Snape had a feeling she was definitely going to test Malfoy's control.

When they arrived in the dungeons, Granger and Lupin were sitting in one corner of the cell. She was resting her head wearily on his shoulder and he was holding her to him. Their hands were entwined and he could see Lupin's fingers lovingly massaging Granger's. An odd ache fluttered in his heart when he saw them in the intimate embrace. He had never had what they had with someone. And after everything he had done, he doubted he ever would.

When Hermione and Remus realized they had company, they became more alert, but didn't rise.

"Look at how sweet they look, Snape," mocked Malfoy. "They must be so in love."

Snape regarded Malfoy carefully, but didn't respond. He was going to have to play this very carefully.

"So Sirius was right about you, Snivellus," said Remus coldly.

"Remus," said Hermione quietly. "Not now."

Malfoy turned to Snape. "I'd forgotten they called you that," he said in an amused voice.

"I hadn't," said Snape through gritted teeth.

Malfoy casually leaned against the bars of their cell. "I suppose you're really going to enjoy this, Snape. Why don't you take Lupin and I'll stay and have a little chat with Granger."

"No," said Snape carefully. "I think you should talk to Lupin. I'll take care of Granger."

Malfoy raised one eyebrow. "I'm impressed. I didn't think you had it in you."

Snape turned sharply on Malfoy. "What precisely is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing," said Malfoy coolly. "Take her. Have fun," he said lewdly.

Remus was standing in a flash. "You take one step toward her and I'll make sure you spend the rest of your life regretting it."

Malfoy laughed boisterously, then lifted his wand. "Crucio," he cried, hitting Remus square in the chest.

Remus doubled over, hitting his knees loudly against the concrete. The sickening crack made Hermione sure he had broken something. She bent over Remus, who was twitching but not crying out, and wrapped her arms around him wishing she could absorb the pain herself. "Stop," she shouted. "Leave him alone."

Malfoy lifted the curse and opened the door of the cell. He approached them and went to pull Hermione to her feet, but Remus lashed out. He was still reeling from the pain, but there was just enough power and adrenaline in him to make Malfoy stumble backwards, away from them. Instead of approaching again, he merely raised his wand and sent another Cruciatus Curse at Remus. This time Remus couldn't suppress the cry of agony that issued from his mouth.

Hermione jumped up intent on killing Malfoy where he stood, but she was intercepted by Snape. He didn't use his wand or say a word. He only grabbed her and twisted her arm at a painful angle. Then he wrapped his free arm around her waist and dragged her from the room. Hermione struggled in vain. Snape, as skinny as he was, was still stronger than she was after having had very little food and virtually no water or sleep in nearly forty-eight hours. Vaguely, she wondered why he didn't simply incapacitate her with a spell. He had even let up a bit on her arm as he pulled her up a flight of stairs, down a long hallway, and into an empty bedroom.

When they were inside he pushed her away from him and she fell to the floor. He turned to the door and muttered, "Colloportus," effectively sealing them both into the room.

Hermione scrambled to her feet and moved as far away from him as she could. She surveyed the room, looking for anything she could use as a weapon, though she highly doubted anyone had been kind enough to leave a wand lying around.

"Now what?" muttered Snape under his breath.

Hermione stilled and looked at him curiously. Snape was muttering and cursing under his breath. She couldn't make out most of what he said, but she did catch a few words that sounded like damn her, arrogant bastards, and Dumbledore.

At the sound of Dumbledore's name, Hermione's heart soared. She had never known the whole story of why Dumbledore trusted Snape in her time, but she did know that he had eventually turned spy for Dumbledore and the Order. She hadn't been sure before whether he had betrayed Voldemort yet or not, but considering the position she was in, she knew she might have to risk finding out.

"Severus," she began tentatively.

Snape looked up sharply at her.

Hermione bit her bottom lip, praying she wasn't making a huge mistake. "You know you're better than this," she began softly. "You're not one of them. I know you're not."

Snape looked aghast. "How do you know?" he asked, knowing he was risking everything in that question.

Hermione took a tentative step toward him, but he backed away from her, his wand still clutched tightly in his hand. "I don't know why you joined. I don't care. All I know is that you're not going to hurt me. I know the thought of it is making you sick."

Snape raised his wand higher and Hermione forced herself not to flinch. "I could kill you right now," he said.

"But you won't," replied Hermione. "I'm offering you an out now. You don't have to be this person. But if you kill me, your soul will be lost forever. You know it will."

Snape lowered his wand, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging slightly open. "Who are you?" he asked quietly.

"I'm your last chance to do something good," said Hermione. They stared at each other in silence for several minutes. Hermione decided to take a different track. "Why did you want to take me?" she asked suddenly.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "I could send you back to Malfoy if you want."

"You could have left me with him," she countered. "He offered you Remus. It would have been the perfect revenge. I know you hate him."

"Maybe I thought it would torture him more to imagine what I was doing to you," said Snape.

"You still haven't answered my original question."

"Which was?"

"Why did you take me when Malfoy offered you Remus?"

Snape's mouth filled with an imaginary nasty taste. "Let's just say I've seen what Malfoy does to women he considers his inferior."

"And you didn't want him to hurt me?" asked Hermione.

Snape didn't respond.

"So you were protecting me?" said Hermione.

Snape looked away. "I... I just couldn't stand by and watch him do it to someone else."

"Malfoy's an evil bastard," said Hermione.

Snape took a deep breath. "We're all evil."

"You don't have to be," said Hermione, hope soaring in her chest.

"It's too late," said Snape.

"No, it's never too late," said Hermione quickly. "I'll go to Dumbledore. We can help you."

"I've already been to Dumbledore," said Snape quietly.

Hermione smiled. "I knew it."

"How did you know?" asked Snape. "Nobody knows. I was careful."

"That doesn't matter. All that matters now is getting out of here. Remus is..." she paused. "He's going to transform in less than three days. You know what they're planning. You have to help us escape."

"I can't," said Snape. "It's impossible."

"You have to do something," said Hermione desperately.

Snape began pacing. "I might be able to get you out of here. Maybe we could say you took me by surprise and overpowered me. I'll get you out of here now." Snape grabbed Hermione's arm and began dragging her to the door.

"No, wait. What about Remus?"

"There isn't time," said Snape abruptly.

"I'm not leaving him," said Hermione, wrenching free of his grasp. "We have to get him too."

"There isn't time," Snape ground out. "This may be your only chance."

"But what will happen to you?" she asked.

"That's not for you to worry about," said Snape coldly. "Now let's go."

"Not without Remus," Hermione repeated.

"Malfoy's guarding him. We'll never be able to get around him."

Hermione looked down at her feet and sighed deeply. "Then take me back," she said quietly.

"What?" exclaimed Snape. "You know what will happen in three nights if I do."

"I won't leave him," she said forcefully. "I can't abandon him."

"You're a fool," Snape spat out. "You'll die if you don't go. The Dark Lord is not bluffing, if that's what you think..."

"I know he's not bluffing," Hermione said angrily. "You don't have to tell me that."

"Then what are we waiting for?" questioned Snape.

"If you have to ask then I'll never be able to make you understand," replied Hermione. "Just take me back."

Snape threw up his arms in frustration. "Damn Gryffindors. You always think you have to prove something. You're brave, I get it. Now can I get you out of here?"

"And Slytherins only think about themselves," countered Hermione angrily.

"Yeah, well at least that keeps us alive."

"And alone."

Snape didn't respond.

"You better take me back now," said Hermione after a little while.

Snape nodded. "I've got to make it look like I was questioning you," he said quietly, approaching her.

Hermione took an involuntary step back. "What are you going to do?"

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I should rip your robes and maybe your shirt a bit. I have to make it look like I was questioning you," he repeated again, almost apologetically.

"I'll do it myself," she replied, setting to work ripping and rumbling her clothes to make it look like Snape had roughed her up. "Since when do the Death Eaters resort to muggle forms of torture?" she asked. "You guys sure made quick work of Remus. His face was a mess," she said bitterly.

"It's to demoralize the prisoner," said Snape. "And I had nothing to do with Lupin."

"Will Malfoy expect you to do the same to me?" she questioned.

Snape nodded. "Probably."

"Then you probably should leave a mark on my face," said Hermione. "It'll be the only thing he'll look for."

"I'm not going to hit you," said Snape, backing away from her.

"You have to, or Malfoy will suspect. And after you put me back in that cell, you're going to Dumbledore and telling him where we are. He'll send help."

"I'm watched very closely."

"Then you'll have to be careful," said Hermione angrily. "If you want out of the Death Eaters, this is your ticket. I suggest you take it."

"Has any ever told you that you're a bit of a know it all?" asked Snape coldly.

"All the time," said Hermione evenly. She pulled her hair back and turned her cheek toward him. "I'm only going to let you hit me once, so make it good."

Snape stared at her, not quite understanding the strange girl in front of him, but instinctively feeling like her plan actually had a chance of working. He raised his hand and struck her hard. She staggered and covered her cheek with her hand. "That hurt," she said through clenched teeth.

"Let's go," said Snape, gently taking hold of her arm.

"This is a show," said Hermione. "Make it good."

Snape grabbed her harder and magically opened the door. He pushed her back through the hall and down the steps to the dungeon. Hermione put on a good show of struggling, connecting several times with Snape's foot as she pushed her down the stairs. He cursed under his breath, knowing she was paying him back for the slap.

When they reached the cell, Snape and Hermione could see Malfoy standing over Remus. Malfoy looked up at them. "Damn Severus, it took you long enough."

"She proved stubborn," replied Snape coldly.

"So you got nothing out of her?" asked Malfoy.

Snape shook his head. "You get anything out of him?"

Malfoy kicked Remus in the stomach. "Not yet." Remus groaned, clutching his side. Malfoy took note of Hermione's red face. "I'm impressed," said Malfoy, nodding at Hermione. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"They won't talk," said Snape, ignoring Malfoy. "They're Gryffindors."

"I haven't given up yet," said Malfoy with a smile.

"Why don't we leave them in here for the night without food?" suggest Snape. "Maybe hunger will compel them to talk."

Lucius shrugged as if he didn't care. "I'm a bit hungry myself. This one will sit until morning." Snape pushed Hermione into the cell, then he and Malfoy left.

Hermione moved closer to Remus. He rolled onto his back. "Shh, don't try to talk," she murmured. "Help is on the way."


	42. Chapter 42

Sirius wanted to put his fist through a wall. It was either that or put it through Gideon and Fabian Prewitt. He cursed Moody over and over for forcing him to team up with the brothers. It wasn't that they were incompetent or even taking Hermione's kidnapping lightly. It was just that they seemed to lack the sense of urgency Sirius felt.

Their idea of searching seemed to involve a lot of waiting. And neither of them seemed particularly troubled by Remus's disappearance. They said they couldn't worry about some hot head boyfriend running off and trying to play the hero.

The problem was that the more time passed that they hadn't heard from Remus, the more worried Sirius got. Remus was one of the most brilliant wizard's Sirius ever knew, but he had become a lot more impetuous since Hermione had come into his life and Sirius had a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The three wizards began their search in the same place Remus had. They began searching Hogsmeade and headed straight for the Hogshead to see if they could get any information out of the crowd there. They forced Sirius to wait outside, saying that it would look less suspicious if it was just the two of them. The truth was Gideon and Fabian didn't like having Sirius along any more than Sirius liked being with them.

So Sirius found himself standing outside the Hogshead in the freezing January night waiting for the Prewitt brothers to rejoin him. He rubbed his hands together vigorously trying to create a little warmth.

"Sirius, psst."

Sirius turned to the sound of a soft feminine voice, but couldn't see anything.

"Sirius," the voice hissed again.

"Lily?" questioned Sirius.

"Shh," she hushed him. From the shadows between two buildings, he could see the faint outline of Lily Potter. He hurried over to her.

"What are you doing here? Does James know you're here?" Sirius scolded.

"I'm right here, Padfoot," came James' voice from somewhere behind Lily.

Sirius immediately felt a relief flood his body. "How did you two get away?" he asked.

"It wasn't easy," said James quietly. "We had to wait until Moody left."

"You mean he left you two alone?" asked Sirius incredulously.

"Are you kidding?" laughed Lily. "He knew we couldn't be trusted. He left a couple of Order members at the house just to make sure everything stayed safe."

"And," prompted Sirius.

"And we simply got around them," said Lily innocently.

"I'll bet," replied Sirius. "You know, I don't think I want any of the details."

"So, have you found anything out yet?" asked James.

"Not a thing," sighed Sirius. "The Prewitt's are in the Hogshead right now trying to see what they can find out. I swear they treat me like I'm still some green first year instead of a trained Auror."

"Gideon and Fabian have always been a little cocky," said Lily sympathetically. "They remind me a couple of guys I know."

"Lily," warned James, but there was a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Have either of you heard from Remus yet?" asked Sirius.

"No," said James. Lily shook her head.

"I have a real bad feeling, guys," said Sirius. "We should have heard from him by now."

"He hasn't been gone that long," said Lily, but there was worry in her voice.

"I think we need to be worried," said Sirius. "He could be anywhere."

"Do you think he's been captured?" asked James.

"I think we should consider it," replied Sirius.

"If he was," Lily cut in. "Then we may have a bigger problem."

"What do you mean?" asked James.

"Well, if I was in Hermione's shoes and I knew that Voldemort had you, then I'd tell them anything they wanted to know to make sure you were safe."

"She won't give up anything," defended Sirius. "She knows what the consequences would be."

"She might not give up anything at first, but if they pushed her far enough, if they gave her a choice between Remus's life and spilling everything she knows, I don't see how she'll stay quiet," insisted Lily. "I couldn't. Sirius, maybe you can't understand what it's like to love someone that much."

"That's not true, Lily," Sirius cut him off. "Believe me, I would do anything, and I do mean anything to get her back right now." Sirius lowered his eyes and turned away. They were getting off track. He couldn't think about what might be happening to Hermione at this very moment. The only thing keeping him sane was pretending that this was just another training mission. He knew if he thought too much about the kind of danger she was in then he wouldn't be able to function.

"Okay," said James. "Let's assume the worst. Let's say they do have Remus at this point. I don't think it changes anything. We still have to find out where she is and..." he paused and took a deep breath. "And if she's still alive."

Sirius whirled around. "She's alive," he ground out through clenched teeth.

James nodded. "Then we just have to figure out where they're keeping her."

"Well," said Sirius, the frustration evident in his voice. "We're not going to find out standing around the Hogshead. If you want my opinion, we need to find ourselves a Death Eater and make him tell us where Voldemort might be. If we find him, then we'll find her."

"You make it sound so easy," said Lily bitterly.

"But don't you see," interrupted Sirius. "It is easy. We have all the information we need thanks to Hermione. We know who the Death Eaters are, or at least some of them. All we have to do is go to them."

"Or make them come to us," said James.

"What do you mean?" asked Lily excitedly.

"Well, the Death Eaters have families, same as we do. What if we got to them, the way they keep getting to us?" James began pacing deep in thought. "What about Michael Pucey? Hermione was nearly certain he's a Death Eater."

"Pucey?" questioned Sirius. "The name sounds familiar."

"He was a few years ahead of us. He was a Slytherin prefect."

"He has a wife and a son," said Lily quietly. "Her name is Emily. I knew her. She was a Slytherin, but I have a hard time believing she's a Death Eater. She never seemed to have the same viciousness the rest of them had. She was a bit cold and standoffish, but she generally liked to be left alone and she left other people alone. Her son's name is Adrian."

"That's perfect," said James. "If we can make Pucey think his wife and son are in danger he'll tell us everything he knows."

"James I don't know," said Lily. "It's not right. We can't hurt a little boy. He can't be more than two or three."

"They do it to us, Lily," said Sirius coldly.

"It's not right," insisted Lily.

"We're not going to hurt anybody," interrupted James. "We're just going to make them think we are."

"James," began Lily.

"Lily we don't have time for doubt," snapped James. "If you can't do this, then go back home. We don't have time. Hermione doesn't have time."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Let's get one thing straight, James Potter, there isn't anything I wouldn't do to get Hermione safe and if you ever speak to me like that again you'll be sleeping on the couch for a month."

James wisely kept his mouth shut. Sirius cleared his throat. "Okay, I think we have a plan. Do either of you know where the Pucey's live?"

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Severus Snape was on the verge of cursing Lucius Malfoy into the next century. Malfoy was sitting in one of the many sitting rooms in Malfoy Mansion surrounded by about a half dozen of his fellow Death Eaters giving them the details of his interrogation with Remus Lupin. He had a very captive audience who laughed in the appropriate places and added the appropriate commentary to his narrative.

Snape couldn't stand the sycophant crowd who didn't bother to point out that no wizard could live through what Malfoy was describing, not even Albus Dumbledore. Snape stood and left the room, knowing Malfoy would goad him into giving the details of Hermione's interrogation.

No one questioned him leaving. The others knew Snape normally preferred to be left alone. It gave him a small advantage at the moment. He wanted to make sure Malfoy truly was exaggerating and Lupin wasn't dying in the middle of Malfoy's dungeon at this very moment. He had concluded that his only hope of proving himself to Dumbledore was getting both Hermione and Remus out alive.

Snape made sure no one was following as he made his way down to the dungeons. He crept inside quietly. Hermione looked up and Snape could see the tiredness in her eyes.

It had been a few hours since he had left them and her cheek was beginning to purple where he had hit her. Snape made sure the door was securely closed before coming closer to them.

"You shouldn't be here," said Hermione quietly.

"Don't worry," said Snape, "everybody's occupied."

"That's not what I meant," replied Hermione. "You're supposed to be getting help."

"I can't just leave," said Snape through gritted teeth. "It would look suspicious."

"You came here," Hermione pointed out.

"Look," said Snape. "I just wanted to check and make sure Lupin wasn't dying. I'll leave if I'm bothering you."

"No," said Hermione quickly. "I'm sorry, I just...," she trailed off, looking down at her fiancé. "He's going to go through the transformation in less than two days and I don't know if he'll have the energy to get through it."

"That's the last thing I would worry about if I was you," Snape pointed out.

"You really are a Slytherin," she said in a disgusted tone. "Isn't there anyone you worry about more that yourself."

"What good would that do me?" asked Snape.

"That's sad," was all Hermione would answer.

Snape sighed. "Is he going to make it?" he asked sarcastically.

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "He's tired," she said. "We could use some food," she added.

Snape shook his head. "I can't. It's too big a risk."

"What about some water?" asked Hermione, getting annoyed.

"I'll see what I can do," replied Snape.

"Just get help," snapped Hermione losing her temper. She glanced down at Remus who hadn't woken up despite her and Snape's raised voices. She bit her bottom lip, praying she was doing the right thing. "There is another way," she said quietly.

"What do you mean?" asked Snape.

"If you don't think you can get to Dumbledore at Hogwarts again, there is another place you can go."

"Where?" asked Snape cautiously.

"Sirius Black's."

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A couple of hours later, James, Lily, and Sirius were standing in the latter's apartment. The sun was beginning to rise, which worried Sirius. Whatever they were going to do, they had to do it immediately.

They had decided to go to Sirius's first to pick up a few supplies. Namely, Sirius's invisibility cloak and their two way mirrors. They had to make a stop at the Ministry before they went to Sirius's apartment to get the Pucey's address, but now they were almost ready to leave.

"All right," began James. "We have everything we need and we know what the plan is. Is there anything else we need to do before we get going?"

"I just want to make sure the two of you understand what we're about to do," Lily began.

Sirius groaned and James closed his eyes wearily.

"We're crossing a line here," said Lily angrily. "A line I'm afraid will be difficult to come back from."

"Lily," snapped Sirius angrily. "We have gone over this a million times already. You don't have to come," he reminded her.

"We're talking about terrorizing a mother and her child to get information out of them. It's not right," she cried in frustration.

"They do this stuff all the time," said James. "And worse."

"I just wish there's was another way," said Lily. "Moody is going to have both of your heads after we do this."

"The Ministry has already approved using the unforgivable curses to apprehend Death Eater's," said Sirius. "And we're not necessarily going to go that far," he added hastily. "Not if they cooperate."

"Moody never uses the unforgivable curses if he can help it," argued Lily.

"Lily, if there was another way I would take it," said James. "But there isn't."

"I just want everyone to go into this knowing what we're doing."

"I think we know, Lily," said Sirius. "Now can we just get going? I want Hermione out of there by the end of the day."

They all grabbed their wands and pulled their cloaks tightly around them. They were about to disapparate when there was a knock at the door.

Sirius put his finger to his lips. He moved toward the door cautiously. Before he could open it, there was another knock, this one louder and more urgent.

"Maybe it's Remus," whispered Lily hopefully.

Sirius reached the door quickly and threw it open, hoping to see his best friend. He hadn't expected to see the person he had hated and tormented during his Hogwarts years.

James and Lily immediately pointed their wands them at Snape.

Snape held out his open palms, showing them he wasn't holding his wand.

"What the hell are you doing here?" sneered Sirius.

"I came to deliver a message from Hermione," said Snape, trying to keep his voice nice and even. He didn't know how he had allowed Hermione to convince him to come to Black and now that he was here, he wished he had done anything else.

Within a second of him saying he had a message from Hermione, Sirius had the front of Snape's robes in his fists.

"Sirius," hissed Lily. "Get him inside."

Sirius hauled Snape into the apartment and Lily hurried to close the door behind them. He dragged Snape all the way to the couch and through him down, before pulling out his wand and touching it to Snape's chin. "What do you know about Hermione?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Put the wand away and I'll tell you," answered Snape.

Sirius pressed his wand even harder into Snape's chin, forcing his head back.

"Sirius," warned Lily. "Be careful."

"What are you really doing here, Snivellus?" asked James coldly. "Why did Voldemort send you?"

"He didn't," said Snape. "Hermione sent me."

"You're lying," growled Sirius. "Hermione would never send you. She knows we'd never trust a sniveling little weasel like you."

"She didn't have any other choice," said Snape, "seeing as how she's under lock and key with Lupin in Malfoy's dungeons right now."

"They've got Remus?" asked Lily.

"He's lying, Lily," snapped James. "Don't fall for it."

"What if he's not?" said Lily. "What if Hermione really did send him?"

"Wake up, Lily," said Sirius. "He's a Death Eater. This is a trap."

"What's your proof?" Lily asked Snape directly.

Snape locked eyes on Lily, ignoring Sirius and James completely. "She said to tell you that she saw Harry and Ron again."

Lily turned and looked at James quizzically. "That doesn't make any sense. How could she have seen them?"

Meanwhile, Sirius paled considerably and lowered his wand. "She said she saw them again?" he asked.

"I don't know what it means," said Snape. "She just told me to tell you that."

"Do you know what that means, Sirius?" asked James.

"I think so," he said. He motioned for them all to move away from Snape. They did, but didn't take their wands off him.

"She saw them once before," said Sirius quietly. "That night she nearly she drowned in the lake."

"How?" asked Lily.

"I'm not sure," said Sirius. "Remus told me about it weeks after it happened. He said that they had spoken to her and told her to do something."

"From the future?" asked James incredulously.

"Don't ask me to understand it. I don't think she understood it. I just know it happened. And it happened when she was that close to dying," said Sirius. "If she's seen them then I don't think it's a good sign. And if they've got Remus with her, then we're in even bigger trouble. You two know what happens tomorrow night, don't you?"

"Full moon," replied James quietly.

"Oh no," moaned Lily. "We've got to get them out of there."

"I'm still not convinced," said James. "I think we should put Snape in a body bind and go forward with our first plan."

"I don't know, James," said Sirius.

"Me neither," added Lily. "You said earlier that if we had another option we wouldn't go after the Pucey's. Snape is giving us another option. I think we should take it."

"I agree," said Sirius quickly.

James looked at Sirius in surprise. "This means we'll have to trust Snape. You know that, don't you?"

"I don't like it any more than you do, James, but what choice do we have. If they really have Remus in there with her, she's as good as dead by tomorrow night."

They all glanced back at Snape who was sitting quietly on Sirius's sofa as if he were waiting for them to make a decision. "If we're wrong," began James.

"You didn't even have to finish that," said Sirius. "We know what the consequences are."

"Let's just bring them both home," said Lily.

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A/N: I swear I have the best of intentions when it comes to updating, but then life happens and before you know it, it's been a week. I promise to try and update at least once a week. Thank you all for the reviews, they really are very inspiring. I hope you liked the chapter.


	43. Chapter 43

"What do you think you're doing?" shouted an indignant Snape.

"Shut up," snapped Sirius. He was busy magically binding Snape's hands and feet.

"You can't do this," argued Snape. "I'm expected back."

"That's why we're doing it," replied James. "If you think we're going to give you a chance to rat us out to your little friends, you better think again."

"I've come all this way to let you know where Hermione is and you still doubt me?" asked Snape angrily.

"Just shut up," Sirius repeated, waving his wand and making the knots tighter. "Done."

"Good," said James. "Let's get going."

"Wait," said Lily. "Do you really think we should leave him here? Alone?"

"You're not suggesting we take him with us?" asked Sirius.

"No, but maybe one of us should stay here with him?" said Lily.

"Are you volunteering?" asked Sirius with a smirk.

"That's actually not a bad idea," said James slowly.

"James," began Lily warningly.

"No really," he continued. "You're right. We can't leave him in Sirius's apartment alone."

"When I suggested someone staying here, I didn't mean me," said Lily. "I was thinking maybe Sirius." Both boys laughed. "I'm being serious," said Lily indignantly. "It is Sirius's apartment."

"Love," began James gently. "You're a brilliant witch, but Sirius is a trained Auror. And I'm not going to apologize for wanting you safe here."

Lily sighed, realizing she had backed herself into a corner. "Fine," she said. "I'll stay with him. But the two of you better come back very soon or I'll come looking for you."

James went to his wife, folded her into his arms and held her tightly. "I love you so much," he said into her hair.

Lily hugged him back, unable to return the words because of the lump in her throat.

James released Lily and joined Sirius at the door. "Don't trust him, Lily," said James.

She nodded. "Sirius," she called out.

Sirius turned expectantly.

"Keep my husband alive please."

He nodded and shut the door behind him and James.

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Hermione paced the small confines of her cell with increasing anxiety. It had been a while since she had sent Snape to Sirius's apartment and she was getting worried. Part of her knew she shouldn't underestimate James and Sirius's hate for Snape, but the other part of her knew that it was their only chance.

Her only hope was that they believed the message she sent with Snape. It had been the best thing she could think of on such short notice. Snape had asked her what it meant, but she had told him that it was none of his business. He hadn't liked her response, but there wasn't time to argue and there was no way she was telling Snape she was from the future.

At her feet, Remus moaned. Hermione quickly walked closer and knelt down next to him. She stroked his forehead. "Are you in pain?" she asked softly.

"No," he groaned. "Not at all, I could run a mile if they'd let us out of this damn cage."

"Liar," she laughed gently. "Do you want to try to sit up?"

He nodded and she helped him up. Remus leaned back against her in a sitting position. "Some help I am," he said bitterly.

"Shh," she silenced him. "None of that."

"It's true, Hermione," he said. "I tried to rescue you and all I ended up doing was making things worse. We're running out of time."

"No we're not," she lied.

"I can feel it coming," he replied. "Tonight's the full moon."

"We haven't been outside in a long time. You've probably lost track of time. I'm sure we have more time," she insisted.

Remus didn't respond. They both knew that they were out of time. He took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly. "I've never been so afraid in my life," he confessed quietly. "The thought of me hurting you, I can't stand it."

"Don't think about. Someone will come."

"I'm going to tell them whatever they want to know," said Remus.

Hermione's body tightened at his words. "You can't," she protested.

"I will. I can't let you get hurt," he said stubbornly. "I don't care what happens to me. I don't care what happens to anybody as long as you're safe."

"Remus," began Hermione trying to reason with him. "There are so many things bigger than me here. You can't tell them anything about the future. It would mean so many deaths."

"I don't care," said Remus. "I only care about you."

"Do you really think Voldemort will let me live once you've told him everything we know?" asked Hermione pointedly.

Remus pushed away from Hermione and stood with a lot of exertion. He grabbed onto the bars of the cell to hold himself up. "I can't do nothing," he said, his voice full of anguish. "Don't you understand? I can't control it. I won't be able to stop myself. It'll be my fault."

"No it won't," said Hermione, jumping to her feet and going to him, but he pulled away from her comforting hands. She stood with her hands outstretched, aching to comfort him. "It's not you. It won't be you."

"God damn it all," he yelled out in frustration, gripping the bars even tighter.

"Please Remus," begged Hermione. "Please don't pull away from me now." She touched him lightly on his back. "I'm scared too, you know." Remus turned back to Hermione and she started to tear up at the heartbreak she saw on his face. "Please just hold me," she whispered.

He folded her into his arms and held her tightly. "I love you so much," he said into her hair.

Hermione hugged him back, unable to return the words because of the lump in her throat.

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James and Sirius circled Malfoy Manor cautiously underneath James's invisibility cloak. As far as they could see, Malfoy Manor appeared relatively empty.

"You don't think they would have been kind enough to leave a window open," muttered James under his breath.

"Fat chance," replied Sirius. "We're going to have to go in the old fashioned way." He pulled out his wand so just the very tip was exposed. "Alohamora," he said.

They heard the lock on the door click open and the door swung inward a few inches. Sirius quickly pulled his wand back into the depths of the invisibility cloak.

"Shall we?" asked James.

"After you," replied Sirius sarcastically.

Together, they entered Malfoy Manor and silently closed the door behind them. There was no one in the first part of the house which made getting around easier, but certainly didn't make them feel at ease.

"Snape said they were being held in the dungeon," said Sirius unnecessarily. "Let's get them and get the hell out of here."

"Not so fast, Sirius," cautioned James. "Don't forget what Moody always says. 'Nothing is ever like it appears, especially when it appears easy.'"

Sirius nodded, having heard that particular bit of advice more times than he cared to count.

"Let's do a perimeter check and make sure no one will walk in on us while we're down there," said James.

They moved slowly, but deliberately through the first floor of Malfoy Manor. A few times they had to make a quick escape when they ran across a Death Eater, but overall the mansion seemed nearly empty.

"I have a bad feeling, Prongs," said Sirius. "I think Snape's setting us up."

"We have to risk it," said James. "Besides, there's no way he could know about Harry and Ron if she didn't tell him."

"But that doesn't mean she's here. Who knows what they did to get that information out of her," replied Sirius and then he shivered at the thought.

"She's too strong," said James trying to reassure him, though he felt the same chill run through his own body. "They couldn't break her, especially not that sniveling weasel Snape. Come on. Let's go check out the dungeons."

Their move down the stairs was awkward, but they didn't dare take off the cloak until it was absolutely necessary. When they reached the final door they each held their breath and Sirius pushed it open.

Hermione and Remus were sitting together on the floor, holding each other and talking quietly. When the door opened they each looked up apprehensively.

Sirius sucked in his breath. Remus looked a wreck. His face was cut and bruised and his body was tight with tension. One look at his eyes told them how close it was to the full moon. Hermione looked much better than Remus, although she was sporting a nice sized purple bruise on her cheek.

"Who's there," said Hermione threateningly.

"Shh," hushed James pulling the cloak off him and Sirius.

"Oh thank God," cried Hermione.

"Shh," repeated James.

"Hurry," whispered Hermione loudly.

Sirius pulled out his wand and opened the cell. He rushed inside helped Hermione to her feet, and pulled her into his arms. "We were so worried," he said hugging her tightly. When he pulled back he touched her cheek, just below the bruise. "Who did this?" he asked through gritted teeth.

She gave him another brief hug, but didn't answer him. "Help Remus up," she ordered.

James was already beginning to lift him. Sirius quickly went to Remus's other side and helped James.

"I'm fine," protested Remus weakly. "I can get up by myself."

"Honey, let them help you," said Hermione.

"Now's really not the time to argue about this," said James. "We need to get moving." He moved forward with Remus and Sirius. "Hermione stay close," he ordered.

"Put her under the invisibility cloak," croaked Remus. "And send her ahead."

"Good idea," said Sirius. He extricated the cloak from around his arm and tossed it at Hermione, who caught it easily. "Don't argue, just get under," he said sharply.

"I wasn't going to argue," said Hermione softly. "One of you, give me your wand. I'll go out ahead of you and make sure no one gets in our way," she said stepping forward and holding out her hand.

Sirius handed her his wand. "Just make sure you stay hidden."

"I will," she assured him. "Wait sixty seconds and then follow me." They nodded. Hermione made sure she was entirely covered before she walked up the stairs. It felt wonderful to have the freedom to move again. She held Sirius' wand tightly and moved deliberately through Malfoy Mansion. No one seemed to be around and for a brief moment she entertained the thought that it might actually be easy to get out of Malfoy Mansion when she heard an indistinct sound behind her. She froze hoping that whoever it was would move around her, but then she felt the cloak being tugged and before she knew it, it had been pulled off her. She whirled around, with Sirius' wand outstretched.

"Expelliarmus," cried Peter Pettigrew. He caught the wand easily. Hermione's eyes went wide. "Where's Remus? Don't tell me you've abandoned him," he sneered. Hermione's gaze flickered behind Peter, but the boys weren't yet coming.

He grabbed Hermione and turned. "And if I'm not mistaken, James or Sirius should be around here somewhere." He laughed. "There are advantages to my animagus form. From that point on the ground you can see the bottom of your heels every time the cloak sways." He paused and listened. They could both hear someone approaching. Within seconds James, Sirius, and Remus were standing in front of them.

"Oh God," groaned Sirius. "This is getting ridiculous. Can we just kill him please," he begged.

"Sirius," warned James.

"Let her go, Peter," said Remus warningly. "And maybe we'll let you live."

"I've got your girlfriend right where I want her and you're threatening me, Remus?" asked Peter. "That's a bit bold, don't you think."

"What do you want, Pettigrew?" asked James.

"More than any of you could possibly give me," he returned.

"What happened to you, Peter?" asked James sadly. "What made you turn from us?"

"Forget it, James," said Sirius angrily. "It's not worth asking. Peter's always been the weak link in our group. We should have never befriended him."

"Sirius, shut up," hissed Remus. His eyes were locked onto Hermione who was standing very calmly in Peter's embrace.

"You always thought you were better than me," said Peter. "You thought you were better than everyone. I don't think Hogwarts ever knew a more arrogant lot than you three."

"You four," piped up Hermione.

"Shut up, mudblood," said Peter tightening his grip around her.

"Oh come on, Peter. You know it's true. The four marauders were the most arrogant group of Gryffindor's to ever grace Hogwarts halls. But you were a part of that too," said Hermione.

"I said shut up," said Peter again.

"You could be a part of it again," said Hermione quickly. "You don't have to stay here. You could come home with us, now."

"You're just trying to get me to let you go," said Peter.

"Of course I am," answered Hermione quickly. "I don't want to be here anymore and we all know Remus can't afford to stay. But even more, I know you don't want to be here."

"You don't know anything."

"Peter, you're going to die here. You'll make a mistake and they will kill you. If you come with us now, we'll protect you."

Sirius turned his head, looking weary, but he didn't say anything.

Peter looked over at James, Remus and Sirius. "No they won't," he said bitterly.

"We will if you come with us right now," said James. "Just let Hermione go and walk out of here with us."

Hermione could feel him lessening his grip on her. "James won't go back on his word," she said softly. "You know he won't. Take a risk Peter."

Nobody moved for several seconds.

"All right, I've had enough of this," said Sirius. "Peter, if you still don't trust us, then just keep a hold of Hermione and start walking. Otherwise, we're sure to be caught any second now and we'll tell your boss that you were the one who told us where to find Hermione and Remus."

"But I didn't," protested Peter. "He'll never believe you."

"Right," said Sirius sarcastically. "He'll believe you because you've never betrayed anyone before."

For a moment there was definite fear in Peter's eyes. He looked at James only. "Do you swear you'll protect me?"

"Yes, if you move now," said James through gritted teeth.

Slowly, Peter began to back toward the front door with a firm hold still on Hermione.

"Faster, Peter," said Hermione. She held her breath until they were all out of the house. Once outside, she breathed in the fresh air for the first time in days. Then she glanced over at the horizon. The sun was beginning it's descent in the sky.

She could hear the boys struggling behind them and she stretched around to glance at them. Remus wasn't even walking anymore. Both James and Sirius were holding him up.

"The full moon's close," said Hermione unnecessarily. "We have to get him back to Hogwarts."

"Just keep moving, you two," said James from behind. "We're not in the clear yet."

When they were far enough away from the house to be undetected, Hermione wrenched away from Peter and went to Remus. James and Sirius set him down, trying to catch their breath.

"Just leave me," he said weakly. "We'll never make it to Hogwarts in time."

"Yeah, I'm going to leave you," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "Take a minute to rest and then we're going to move."

"Hermione," began Remus warningly.

"Oh hush up," she said. She moved away from Remus to chat with James and Sirius. "He's right, we're not going to make it to Hogwarts, but we can't risk letting him transform and run around England by himself. We're going to have to chain him to keep him from hurting himself."

"We'll take him back to Godric's Hollow," said James. "We can all apparate there."

"I'm not sure if he's strong enough to apparate."

"I'll manage," said Remus.

James, Sirius, and Hermione looked up guiltily.

"I'm hurt, not deaf," he said with a smile.

"All right," said Hermione with a smile. "Let's try it." She turned to Peter. "We're apparating to Godric's Hollow," she told him. He nodded. "Okay, let's go," she said before concentrating hard and apparating. When she arrived at Godric's Hollow she turned quickly to make sure the others had made it. James and Sirius were next to her as was Peter. A little further away from her was Remus. The apparition seemed to drain him of what little strength he had left. He was sitting on the ground, trying to push himself up.

Sirius and James rushed forward to help him. They each took one arm and hauled him up. "To the cabin," ordered James. "Hurry there isn't much time." They half walked half ran with Remus between them into the woods surrounding Godric's Hollow. Hermione and Peter followed them.

When they reached the cabin, they pulled Remus inside and quickly began conjuring chains. They did their best to secure Remus just as the sun was dipping below the horizon.

James and Sirius were securing the last chains over his wrists, while Hermione secured the ones over his chest. She paused in her work and looked into his eyes. "We made it," she whispered.

He nodded tiredly, grimacing at the pain beginning to course through him. "Do me a favor, Hermione," he said. "Stay out of trouble for the next twelve hours, will you?"

She laughed and touched his face. "I promise," she said.

"Hermione, go now. I'm not safe," he said groaning against the pain. "It's almost time. Take Pettigrew with you."

She nodded and moved away from him. "Peter, come on," she ordered. She pulled him by his sleeve out of the cabin.

Once outside she immediately looked up into the sky. She could see the full moon cresting and heard the beginnings of the transformation. Several times she made a move back toward the cabin, but forced herself to stop.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sirius emerged from the cabin. He was breathing heavily, but looked unhurt.

"The chains are holding," he said. "But James is going to stay with him all night, just in case. In our animagus forms, he's the strongest."

"Okay," agreed Hermione.

"Now," said Sirius, stepping toward Peter. He grabbed him roughly. "We're taking you back to the house."

"What are you doing?" whimpered Peter.

"Giving you what you deserve," said Sirius. "There are some Aurors back at the house that I'm sure would love to make your acquaintance."

"B… B… But you promised," stuttered Peter.

"Sirius, you can't," protested Hermione. "James and I gave our word."

"I didn't," said Sirius, dragging Peter with him.

Hermione ran to catch up. "Sirius, wait," she began.

"Hermione, I'm not going to argue with you," said Sirius. "We've got to get back to my place and I have no intention of dragging Pettigrew along for the ride." There was a large commotion when they arrived at Godric's Hollow. There were several Order members at the house including Hagrid and Professor McGonagall.

As soon as he saw her, Hagrid pulled Hermione into a massive embrace lifting her clear off the ground.

"Hagrid," scolded Professor McGonagall. "Let the poor girl down."

Hagrid immediately released Hermione and set her back down on the ground.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" asked the Professor.

"Yes professor," Hermione replied.

She turned toward Sirius. "Foolish boy," she said, but she was smiling widely. "The Prewitt brothers are none too happy with you." Her smiled faltered when she realized who he was holding. "Pettigrew," she gasped.

"Hagrid, could you hang on to him for awhile. I've got to get back to my place."

"Why?" asked Hermione.

He shook his head, clearly not wanting to explain anything in front of Hagrid or McGonagall.

"Right," she said. "I'm coming with you. We'll be back."

Before either McGonagall or Hagrid could protest, they were both out the door.

"What's going on?" asked Hermione. "Why are we going back to your place."

"We left Lily alone with Snape," explained Sirius.

"What?" exclaimed Hermione. "You held him there?"

"Of course," said Sirius.

"But they'll know he's gone," moaned Hermione.

"Who?" asked Sirius.

"Voldemort," said Hermione. "He can't know Snape's betrayed him."

"We couldn't be sure he wasn't trying to trap us," explained Sirius. "I'm still not sure he wouldn't have double crossed us if we had let him leave."

"He wouldn't have," insisted Hermione. "He was helping me and now we may have signed his death warrant. Let's hurry." She closed her eyes and apparated to Sirius' apartment.

Sirius apparated a second after Hermione and was greeted by a horrifying sight. The apartment was a mess, furniture was broken and glass was shattered everywhere. "Lily," he yelled.

"Lily," shouted Hermione. "Where are you?" They ran from room to room, searching for her. "Lily, Severus, are you here," called Hermione.

"Hermione, over here," yelled Sirius from back in his living room. Hermione hurried toward his voice and gasped when he saw him kneeling on the ground, cradling Lily's body.


	44. Chapter 44

"Oh my God, Lily," said Hermione, dropping to her knees next to Sirius.

Sirius was cradling Lily's body in his arms and with a grunt lifted her and carried her to his bedroom. He laid her down on the bed gently.

"She's not," began Hermione, afraid to finish the thought.

"She's alive," said Sirius. "Just knocked out." He pulled out his wand and waved it over Lily. "Enervate."

Lily moaned softly and slowly opened her eyes. "Sirius?" she questioned.

"Yeah, it's me, Lil," said Sirius, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Oh my head," she groaned.

"Lily, what happened?" asked Hermione.

"Hermione!" she exclaimed, sitting up quickly. Lily immediately regretted her sudden movement, when her head began to pound. She put her hands on either side of her head and closed her eyes tightly.

"Lay down," said Hermione, pushing on Lily's shoulder gently. "We don't know how badly you're hurt."

Suddenly Lily realized who was missing and she tried to sit up again. "Oh my God, where's James? Sirius?"

"Shh," he hushed her. "James is fine and so is Remus."

"Are you sure," she asked, unable to mask the tremor in her voice.

"Yes," he reassured her. "They're together now. Everybody is safe."

Lily took a deep breath. "Thank God. It's really over?"

"It's over," said Sirius with a smile.

"Lily what happened?" asked Hermione again.

"It was Snape," she said quietly. "I didn't realize he could do it. He took me completely by surprise."

"Do what?" asked Sirius through gritted teeth.

"Wandless magic," she replied.

"What?" gasped both Sirius and Hermione.

"I didn't know people our age could do wandless magic, or at least controllable wandless magic. It takes decades to learn to control it," said Hermione. "Lily, are you sure that's what he did?"

"Hermione, he was unarmed. And I'm pretty sure that Sirius made his bonds extra tight," replied Lily.

"I did," agreed Sirius.

"I turned my back for a second and then I heard something snap, I think it was the rope, and then I… I just… I don't…," she paused.

"And then you blacked out?" asked Sirius trying to be helpful.

Lily nodded. "I don't remember anything after that. Sirius, I'm so sorry."

"Why?"

"You both trusted me to watch Snape and I just let him get away. Anything could have happened and it would have been my fault."

"No it wouldn't have, Lil," assured Sirius. "We shouldn't have left you alone. You were right. I should have been the one to stay."

"I won't argue with that," she joked.

Hermione giggled. "She's going to be fine."

"I want to go home," she said. "Can you take me home?"

"Nope," said Sirius stubbornly. "We're going to take a trip to St. Mungo's first."

"Sirius no," she protested immediately. "I'm fine. Don't be such an old woman."

Hermione laughed again.

"I don't care how you insult me," said Sirius. "James will kill me if I don't get you checked out. And I am a little more afraid of what he could do to me than what you could do."

"I could hurt you," said Lily.

"Right," laughed Sirius.

"I could," she insisted. "Hermione would help."

"Don't be a baby, Lil," said Sirius. "We'll get you a sweet if you're a good girl at the healer's."

"Shut up," Lily said with a laugh. "Really Sirius, I'm fine, please don't fuss."

Sirius paused, a doubtful look crossing his face.

"Actually," spoke up Hermione. "I'm not so sure taking her to St. Mungo's will be what's best." Sirius looked questioningly at her, but said nothing so she continued. "St. Mungo's isn't a safe place."

"What are you talking about?" questioned Sirius. "Of course it is."

"The Order doesn't have a presence there. We couldn't ensure her security. We're in the middle of a war, Sirius. As far as I'm concerned, we go nowhere that we're not completely sure is safe."

"I still say she has to get checked out," replied Sirius.

"I agree, but we'll get someone to come to Godric's Hollow and check her out."

"Okay," agreed Sirius.

"Are you two done talking about me as if I wasn't here?" asked Lily.

Sirius and Hermione looked down at her smiling.

"I don't know, are you done, Hermione?" asked Sirius.

"I am if you are," she replied seriously.

Sirius turned back to Lily. "We're done," he told her. "Do you think you can apparate home?"

She nodded. "I can always apparate home."

Sirius helped her out of bed and then the three of them returned to Godric's Hollow.

Professor McGonagall was in a rage when they returned and she had summoned reinforcements. As soon as Sirius, Lily and Hermione arrived at the house they were greeted by Order members.

Hagrid spotted them first and alerted everyone else. "Professor, Headmaster, Moody, they're back."

Professor McGonagall hurried forward. "What were you thinking, Black?" she scolded. "That was completely outside of protocol."

Sirius looked slightly taken aback, not having expected to be yelled at as soon as he entered the house.

"Minerva," began the Headmaster gently, stepping forward. "There will be plenty of time for that." He moved closer to Hermione and took her into his arms.

Hermione's shock at being hugged by Dumbledore threatened to overwhelm her. She had never remembered him ever hugging a student before. For the first time since Voldemort had kidnapped her, she felt the weight of what her danger had been. Her throat constricted and she began to cry softly.

Dumbledore release her and smiled warmly. "You gave us all a real scare, Hermione."

"I'm sorry, sir," she said sincerely.

"None of that," he said quickly. "It's enough to have you safe again." He turned his attention to Sirius. "I trust James and Remus are safe."

"Yes sir," replied Sirius immediately. "They're actually not far from the house. We had to improvise a place for Remus to stay."

Dumbledore looked to Lily. "And you, my dear?" he asked.

"Fine Headmaster," answered Lily.

"What all of you did was extremely risky," said the Headmaster. "And though the result was positive I don't want any of you taking such risks again."

Sirius and Lily looked down at their feet. "Yes sir," the both answered quietly.

Dumbledore smiled kindly at them. "Good, that's all I need to hear." He turned to Professor McGonagall. "Minerva, as their former head of house, I'm sure you're eager to continue the lecture, but I think we should get Hermione checked out by a healer. Can you send an owl to Poppy and ask her to come?"

"Of course, Albus," replied Professor McGonagall.

"Lily will need to be checked out as well," spoke up Sirius quietly.

"Why's that?" asked Dumbledore.

"We should talk about that in private," said Hermione.

"Before that," spoke up Alastor Moody. "I need a word with Black."

"Sir," spoke up Hermione. "Please don't blame Sirius for coming to rescue us…"

"Its okay, Hermione," said Sirius, placing one hand on her shoulder.

"But Sirius," she began to protest.

Sirius gave her a pointed look and followed Moody from the room.

Hermione and Lily exchanged worried looks.

"Alastor Moody is Sirius' boss," said Dumbledore, noticing the worried looks on the girl's faces. "He can be severe, but he's a fair man."

Hermione nodded, feeling terrible.

"Uhh, Headmaster," interrupted Hagrid.

"Yes, Hagrid," replied Dumbledore.

"What should I do with little Peter Pettigrew?" he asked. "We have some Order members keeping an eye on him right now, but he keeps ranting and raving."

"Oh no, Peter," said Hermione suddenly. "I forgot we brought him back." She rushed out of the room.

"Peter?" questioned Lily, following Hermione. "Hermione, what's he doing here?"

Hermione entered the room they were holding Peter. He was with three other Order members, all of whom were glaring menacingly at him.

As soon as he saw Hermione he began shrieking. "You promised. I trusted you. I should have known."

"Shut up," said one of the Order members, stepping toward Peter threateningly.

"It's okay," Hermione told them. "Peter, I'm sorry. But you have to understand, we can't trust you."

"You promised if I helped you escape that you would protect me," he accused.

"And I will, but that doesn't mean you won't have to answer some questions."

"That wasn't part of the deal."

"There's nothing I can do about that," she replied. "Sirius will never trust you and until James gets back, you're just going to have to wait."

"I don't want to wait," replied Peter. "I want to leave now."

"Hermione, what is he doing here?" asked Lily.

Hermione turned toward Lily, surprised by the anger she heard in her voice. She found herself facing Professor Dumbledore, Lily, and Hagrid, all looking like they wanted some answers quickly. She wished she didn't have to explain it alone, but there was no helping it now.

"Peter helped us get out of Malfoy Manor where Voldemort was keeping Remus and I. And James and I agreed to protect him from the Death Eaters."

"That's right," piped up Peter. "I helped them at great personal risk to myself. If the Dark Lord ever discovers what I've done, he'll surely have me killed. But I knew that I had to do the right thing and help my old friends. And now I'm being treated like a common criminal."

"And what exactly were you doing at Malfoy Manor to begin with?" asked Lily. Hermione could tell she was trying to control her anger.

"I… uhh… I…," stuttered Peter.

"That's what I thought," said Lily. "As far as I'm concerned, we should turn Peter over to the Ministry and let them deal with him."

"Lily," said Hermione, clearly shocked by her attitude. "James and I gave our word."

"I don't care," she said stubbornly. "I still can't forget the attack at Hogwarts or what was done to James' parents. He's responsible for that," she said pointing an accusing finger at Peter.

"I had nothing to do with the Potter's death," said Peter immediately.

"I don't believe you," said Lily.

"I think," spoke up Dumbledore. "We will need to speak to James about the matter."

"He's with Remus," replied Hermione softly. "He won't be able to leave him until morning."

"Then we'll wait until morning," replied Dumbledore.

"But Headmaster," spoke up Hagrid. "What do we do with the boy until then?"

Dumbledore assessed Peter carefully. Peter turned away from Dumbledore's penetrating stare. "I hope Peter will not object to the continued confiscation of his wand and being watched over for one night."

Peter wisely offered no more objections.

"Miss Granger, Mrs. Potter, I suggest the two of you get some rest. You've both been through a great deal. When Madame Pomphrey arrives I will send her to you," said Dumbledore.

Lily quickly left the room and Hermione followed her.

"Lily, wait," Hermione called out. Lily didn't slow down. "Lily," repeated Hermione.

Lily stopped and allowed Hermione to catch up to her.

"Lily, you have to understand," she began.

"Hermione," interrupted Lily. "I can't believe you're trying to protect Peter."

"He helped…"

"I already heard that," she said angrily. "Helping you doesn't change everything he's done. James will understand that. He's not going to support Peter and neither should you."

"James gave his word," said Hermione quietly.

"I think I know my husband a little better than you do," she replied sharply.

"Lily, please let's not fight," begged Hermione.

"Then don't side against us on this," Lily begged back. "We don't owe him anything. He deserves to be punished."

The girls stared at each other and each of them knew the other was not going to be persuaded. Slowly, Lily turned away from Hermione and went to her bedroom. Hermione stood in the hallway for a few seconds, before wearily heading to one of the empty guest bedrooms.

She flopped down on the bed and tried to make herself comfortable and rest as Dumbledore had suggested, but she was finding it difficult to slow the repetitive thoughts running through her mind.

When she heard a soft knock at the door, she immediately called, "come in," thinking it was Madame Pomphrey. Instead Sirius entered the room. She sat up in bed.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately. "We're you sleeping?"

"No," she replied. "Come in." She patted a space on the bed and Sirius sat. "Are you in trouble?" she asked immediately.

"With Moody? Nah," said Sirius dismissively.

"Somehow I don't believe you," she said with a wide frown on her face.

"Just let me worry about Moody," Sirius said, trying to reassure her.

They sat in silence together for a while before Sirius spoke up again. "How are you feeling?" he asked sincerely.

"Other than the fact that Lily's mad at me, you and James are probably in a lot of trouble with your boss, and my fiancé is going through an overly painful transformation that he probably doesn't have the energy to handle?" she asked.

"That is a lot to worry about," answered Sirius.

"You're not helping."

"How's this?" he began. "Remus has been through this before and I promise he'll be fine. It's not your job to worry about James and I. And I'm sure you're wrong about Lily."

"You didn't hear how angry she was."

"About what?" he asked.

Hermione bit her bottom lip and knew not to expect much support from Sirius. "About Peter, about what to do with him."

Sirius sighed deeply. "What's to argue about?" he asked. "We'll turn him over to the Ministry and he'll cease to be our problem."

"That's not what James and I agreed to," replied Hermione.

"James will do what's right," said Sirius.

Hermione agreed with him, though their definitions of what was right seemed to be completely different. She didn't want to argue with him anymore so she didn't comment.

Sirius could see her shutting down. "Maybe you ought to get some sleep," he suggested.

She nodded, feeling the beginnings of exhaustion set in, but at the same time, she didn't want to be alone. "Sirius," she began, hesitating.

"What is it, Hermione?" he asked.

She blushed. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Sirius smiled tenderly at her. "Of course," he said quietly. "Just lie down and sleep. I'll be here all night."

Hermione scooted down under the covers and rested her head on the pillow. "I knew you would come for us," she said sleepily.

Sirius moved from the bed to a chair. "Just sleep," he said again. "Everything will look better in the morning."

The next morning, Hermione was awoken by a great commotion coming from somewhere inside the house. She sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She was alone in the room and from the way the sun was filtering through the window, she realized it was still very early.

She hadn't gotten undressed the night before, so she simply threw back the covers and left the room. Hermione walked silently through the house, puzzled by the amount of activity so early in the morning.

"What's going on?" she asked one Order member, who was passing by her.

He hesitated when he saw who had asked the question. "It's Remus," he said carefully. "James just brought him to the house."

"Remus," repeated Hermione, feeling her heartbeat pick up. "Where did they take him."

"Uhh," he hesitated.

"Hermione," called out Sirius.

She looked up and could see Sirius hurrying over to her.

"Sirius, what's going on?" she asked. "Where's Remus." When he didn't answer right away, her fears grew worse. "Sirius," she said, begging him to answer with her eyes.

"The transformation didn't back didn't go well," he said.

"Oh God," she said. "Where is he?"

"James put him in one of the spare rooms."

"Which one," she demanded.

"Second on the left," he answered. "But Hermione, wait."

It was too late. Hermione pushed passed him and into the room. Dumbledore, Madame Pomphrey, and James were in the room. Remus was lying quietly on the bed, his eyes closed. Hermione moved forward and sat on the bed. She placed her hand on his face. It felt cold and clammy. "Remus, honey wake up," she said. She moved her hand to his shoulder and shook him gently. "Honey, please wake up." When he didn't so much as move, she looked to James for answers.

"It was a rough night," he said. "He struggled a lot to get free, but even as a werewolf, he didn't have much strength. After he transformed back this morning, he just collapsed."

Madame Pomphrey stepped forward. "It appears that several of his bones were broken before the transformation. When he transforms, his bones take on their new shape, but in their broken condition they didn't form right and his uncontrolled movement through the night caused serious damage to his internal organs."

"Can anything be done?" she asked.

"I've given him a potion to heal the bones and another potion to begin mending his organs," replied Madame Pomphrey.

"Should he be hospitalized?" asked Hermione. Nobody would look at her. "What?" she demanded.

"Werewolves are barred from wizarding hospitals by law," said Madame Pomphrey apologetically.

Hermione bit her bottom lip to keep from cursing. "When will he wake up?" she asked.

Madame Pomphrey looked at the Headmaster.

"Hermione, it appears that when he returned to his normal state his body could no longer handle the immense pain he must have been in all night," said Dumbledore.

"What are you saying?"

"We don't know when or if he will wake up."

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A/N: Wow, you guys sure did have a violent reaction to the last chapter. Although I can understand why. If you read my fic The Way to a Hero, you know I have no problem killing off people. If I remember correctly, I killed off three or four people in that one. If anyone cares to read that one it can be located at the following web address: www . fanfiction . net/s/1509376/1/


	45. Chapter 45

Hermione spent the days following the full moon in a daze. She never left Remus' side. She ate her meals in the room and at night slept in the bed next to him.

The day after Remus fell into his coma, she sent Sirius back to Hogwarts with a list of books to bring from the library. It took James, Sirius, and Lily to bring them all back. Then Hermione locked herself in the sick room and began pouring over the books. She occasionally emerged from the room, but it was only ever to ask someone to fetch more books for her or to give them lists of ingredients she needed.

By the end of the first week, James, Sirius, and Lily were getting extremely worried about her. They each tried in their own way to get Hermione to take a break, but she refused to leave Remus.

"It's not healthy for her to stay locked away in that room all day," said Lily in a whispered conversation with her husband and his best friend.

"We know that, Lily," replied James. "But what can we do?"

"She's barely eating, I know she's not sleeping," sighed Lily. "And I keep telling her if she doesn't take care of herself then she's not going to do Remus any good, but she won't listen."

"She feels responsible for what happened to him," said Sirius.

"That's ridiculous," said James.

"I know," returned Sirius.

Lily shook her head. "You two don't understand her. I'm not sure I understand her myself sometimes. I think we forget sometimes where Hermione comes from. She must know things, things she wishes she didn't know." Lily's eyes grew bright. "Maybe she knew what was going to happen to Remus. Maybe she came back to save him."

"I don't think so," said James gently.

"No really," Lily insisted. "Think about it, she never really told us why she came back. She's left out so many details. There has to be a reason."

James and Sirius shared an uncomfortable glance. Lily caught the glance. "She never told you anything about why she came back, did she?" she asked suspiciously.

"No," said James quickly. "She never told us."

Lily looked into her husband's face and for the first time since they were married she didn't think he was being honest with her. "James," she began, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Sirius, can you get the door?" Lily requested.

Sirius wordlessly obeyed her request.

"James," she continued. "Did Hermione ever tell you why she was here?"

"Lily," he began.

"Before you say another word," she interrupted. "Make sure it's the truth. If you're going to lie to me, I'd rather you didn't say anything."

"Lily, I…" James trailed off. He couldn't lie to his wife, but at the same time, it wasn't his place to tell Hermione's secrets. He was beginning to see that it was bad enough that he knew them himself. The hollow look in Hermione's eyes that he had seen in the last week showed him how high the penalty for changing time was. The last thing he wanted his wife dealing with the responsibility of that knowledge.

James and Lily were interrupted by muffled voices in the front hall. They moved as one to it.

Sirius was standing in the doorway with an older couple.

"We want to see our son," said the woman. "Headmaster Dumbledore told us he was here."

"Hermione's with him right now," Sirius was explaining. "If you'll just give me a minute, I'll let her know you're here."

"Move out of the way, young man," said the man. "You can't keep us from him."

"Sirius, let them in," said Lily immediately. She recognized the people as Mr. and Mrs. Lupin. Sirius stepped aside and the Lupin's entered the house.

"Welcome to our home," said Lily stepping forward extending her hand. They each shook it briefly in turn. "I'm sure you're eager to see Remus, but as Sirius was saying, Hermione's in with him right now. If you'll just wait in the living room…"

"We've had enough of waiting," interrupted Mrs. Lupin. "We were told he's been unconscious for a week and before that he was kidnapped by Death Eaters. How is it that one of you didn't come to tell us right away? You're supposed to be his best friends."

They all exchanged guilty looks. They had discussed seeing the Lupin's and telling them about their son's condition, but Remus hadn't been on good terms with them and they had all wanted to wait and see if he would come out of the coma.

"Just let me go get Hermione," said Lily.

"That won't be necessary," said Mrs. Lupin. "Just show me to my son. Now."

Lily nodded and led her through the house to Remus' room. She knocked lightly on the door, but got no answer. She knocked harder the second time, calling out Hermione's name.

"Come in," came Hermione's reply.

Lily opened the door. Hermione was sitting on a chair next to the bed. She had one of Remus' hands in her own and it was apparent to Lily that she had been crying. Lily's heart broke a little for her.

Remus' parents brushed past Lily and moved toward their son.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lupin," said Hermione, shocked to see them.

"Oh Remus," cried Mrs. Lupin. She knelt and covered her son's body and began crying. Her husband stood behind her gently stroking her back. Hermione stood and allowed his parents some time with their son. Lily approached her and put a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"How did this happen, Hermione?" asked Mrs. Lupin.

"He was badly injured before his transformation last week. Madame Pomphrey said that he had some broken bones that injured him internally. The transformation aggravated those injuries."

"You mean my son has only been seen by a school nurse?" asked Mr. Lupin, clearly outraged.

"He can't be admitted to St. Mungo's," said Sirius. He and James had entered the room and were standing behind Lily and Hermione. "They won't allow the admission of a werewolf."

"Madame Pomphrey is very good," said Hermione. "And I've been reading everything I can get my hands on and trying some potions. I'm with him every second."

"Dumbledore said he was caught trying to rescue you," accused Mrs. Lupin. Hermione didn't know how to respond. Mrs. Lupin stood and glared at Hermione. "I wish he had never met you. You've brought nothing but trouble into his life."

Hermione forced herself to remain calm. "I'm sorry you feel that way," she said. "Remus is my life and I'm his."

"Not anymore," said Mrs. Lupin.

"What?"

Mrs. Lupin looked at her husband. "Hermione," he began in a gentler tone than his wife had used. "We're taking Remus home with us. We're arranging for full time care."

"You can't," protested Hermione. "I won't let you."

"You don't have a say in this," replied Mrs. Lupin. "We're his parents and we know what's best for him."

"I'm his fiancé," objected Hermione. "I have just as much right…"

"No you don't," Mrs. Lupin interrupted.

"Wait a second, everybody," said Lily. "We all want what's best for Remus. Can't we all sit down and talk about this?"

"No," said Mrs. Lupin coldly. "We've made the decision. Remus requires more care than you kids can give him. We thank you for trying, but unfortunately it's not enough."

"Get out," seethed Hermione. She pushed past the Lupin's and placed herself between them and Remus. "I won't let you take him out of this room. We may not have gotten married, but as far as I'm concerned we've been living as man and wife. The only reason we didn't make it official was because of the restrictions against werewolves marrying."

"Hermione," said Mr. Lupin. "Please don't make this difficult. Daphne and I truly believe this is the best course of action for him. You'd be welcome to visit him. All of you would. But he needs special care. You can't provide that for him."

"I can and I have," she replied.

"Robert, don't try to reason with her," said Mrs. Lupin. "It's her fault he's in this condition."

"That's enough," said James loudly. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Lupin, but you can't talk to Hermione that way, not in my house. She hasn't slept in days. We can barely get her to eat regularly. She's devoted herself to caring for your son. Remus wouldn't want this. Have you even considered what he'd want? He's devoted to Hermione. He'd want to be with her."

"Unfortunately," said Mrs. Lupin angrily. "We'll never know what he would want. I won't lose my son again." She looked around the room at the stricken faces around her. "I'm sorry this is causing all of you pain, but we've made our decision. We'll be back with a mediwizard in a few hours to transport Remus to the house. I would appreciate it, if you wouldn't make the transfer difficult," she said quietly, before leaving the room.

Mr. Lupin turned to Hermione. "I know you've done your best, dear, but Remus does need professional care. Remus is our only child and my wife can't lose another one. It would kill her. That's why she's so angry. She doesn't really blame you."

"You could have fooled me," said Hermione shakily. "I know that I gave you both the wrong impression about me when I went to visit your home, but I do love your son."

"I know that," said Mr. Lupin. "And I know that he loves you. I meant it when I said you would be welcome to come and visit him. Daphne won't stop you from visiting."

"A half hour visit in the evening isn't enough," said Hermione. "And forgive me for saying it, but Remus made his choice a long time ago. He wants to be with me. I can get him through this."

Mr. Lupin sighed. "I'm sorry, Hermione," he said quietly before following his wife.

When they were gone, Hermione turned to Sirius, James, and Lily. "James, you won't let them, will you?" she asked desperately.

"Hermione, I don't know how we can stop them."

"Sirius," she said, turning to him and begging him silently with her eyes.

He shook his head sadly. "I think James is right. They are his parents."

"Some friends you are," she accused angrily. "I would never let them take Lily from you, James or vice versa."

"That's different, Hermione," said Lily, stepping forward. "James and I are married." It was the wrong thing to say and they all knew it as soon as she said it.

"Get out," hissed Hermione. "Just get out."

Lily looked at James and Sirius and they all silently left the room, closing the door gently behind them.

"I shouldn't have said that," said Lily immediately after they closed the door.

"It's okay," reassured her husband. "We know you didn't mean it that way."

"I don't know how much more stress she can take," said Sirius worriedly. "There's only so much a body can take before it starts shutting down."

"We better see if Dumbledore will come and talk to her. I don't want to think what will happen if the Lupin's tryto come and take him while she's in this state."

"I think it's a lucky thing she hasn't had a chance to replace her wand yet," commented Sirius. "Or we would all be in a lot of trouble." He sighed deeply. "I'll go let Dumbledore know what's going on. I'm sure he'll come back and see her." Sirius went to the fireplace and dipped his hand into the pot of floo powder that was placed next to it. He tossed it into the fireplace and stepped in. "Professor Dumbledore's office," he said clearly and with a woosh he was gone.

Less than an hour later, Sirius returned with the professor. James and Lily were standing outside of Remus and Hermione's room, trying to get her to voluntarily open the door.

"Excuse me," said Professor Dumbledore. He knocked gently on the door. "Hermione, its Professor Dumbledore." He waited a few seconds and then the door opened. Dumbledore held his hand up to James, Lily, and Sirius, indicating that they should wait and disappeared into the room.

As promised, a few hours later, Mr. Lupin arrived with a mediwizard. "I left Mrs. Lupin at home," he said quietly. "I didn't want to make this harder on Hermione than it has to be."

"Won't you please reconsider?" begged Lily.

"I'm sorry," said Mr. Lupin genuinely. "But this really is best for Remus."

"She's in with Dumbledore right now," said James coldly. "You'll have to wait until they're through."

"That's fine," agreed Mr. Lupin easily. "Believe me, kids this is not what I want. It's just what has to be done."

They waited for at least forty minutes before Dumbledore finally emerged. "Robert," he said acknowledging Mr. Lupin's presence. "Thank you for waiting."

"Of course," he said immediately. "How is she?" he asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"She's a strong young woman. But she feels their impending separation very strongly. I trust there will be no problems with her visiting Remus as often as she likes?"

"My son would never forgive me if I denied her."

Dumbledore turned to Lily, James, and Sirius. "Hermione will be returning to Hogwarts with me."

"Oh," cried Lily. "No, she should stay here. We want her to stay."

Dumbledore smiled kindly at Lily. "I know and so does she, but there is much for her to do at Hogwarts and it is best that she keep busy whileRemus is recovering. Come Mr. Lupin," commanded Dumbledore. "Your son is ready to be moved." Dumbledore led the way back into room.

Hermione was sitting on the bed next to Remus. She had clearly tried to make herself presentable. She was wearing a little make-up and her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail. Her eyes were bright and clear. She placed one hand on his cheek and leaned down and kissed him gently on the lips. "I love you," she whispered. "And I'll always be with you no matter how far apart we are." She rose from the bed and backed into a corner of the room while the mediwizard levitated Remus onto a stretcher and floated him from the room.

"Hermione, I'll wait while you say goodbye to your friends," said Dumbledore leaving the four remaining friends alone.

"Hermione you don't have to leave," said Lily immediately. "James and I don't mind if you stay and live with us."

Hermione hugged her friend tightly. "I know," she said. "But I can't anymore." She released Lily and turned and hugged James. "Take care of everybody," she said. She turned to Sirius and gave him an extra tight hug.

"I'm worried about you," he said softly into her ear.

"Don't be," she replied. "If I've learned anything it's that time and distance can't separate you from the people you love. And I do love all of you."

Sirius stiffened in her arms. "Hermione," he began.

"I have to go," she said, cutting him off. "Lily, will you send my things to Hogwarts. I'm not sure if I'll have time to get them later."

"Of course," said Lily miserably. She was going to miss her best friend more than she could say.

"Hermione," repeated Sirius, his entire body betrayed his uneasiness.

"I'm sorry, I have to go," said Hermione and they could tell she was barely holding it together. She rushed from the room and took the floo back to Hogwarts.

James, Lily, and Sirius stared as Dumbledore followed her quietly without another word to them. They found themselves suddenly alone in a too large house that was now unbearably quiet.

"I have a bad feeling, James," said Lily, wiping tears from her eyes. "She seemed so strange."

James hugged his wife. "Its okay, Lily, we'll make sure to go visit her after she's had a chance to settle in."

"If she's really going to settle in," said Sirius.

"What do you mean?" asked James and Lily at the same time.

Sirius turned to them, his face pale. "I think she was really saying goodbye to us," he said. "I think she's going home for good."

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A/N: Wow! That chapter received one of the best responses I've ever had. I'm sorry I didn't relieve everybody's anxiety in this last chapter, I think I may have added to it.


	46. Chapter 46

Sirius did his best to keep his days so full that he was too exhausted to think at night. It had been five days since he last saw Hermione. James and Lily had done their best to convince him that she would never just abandon Remus, but he couldn't forget her last words to him. They ran through his mind like a mantra. "Time and distance can't separate you from the people you love. Time."

He went to Hogwarts not twenty four hours after Hermione left, but she wasn't there and none of the Professors would answer any of his questions.

Even after reporting this back to James and Lily, they still refused to believe she had left, so Sirius had very little choice but to wait for her to make contact with them.

Work was stressful. The war was not going well and the demands on the Aurors were increasing. Even he and James were being thrown into situations few Aurors in training ever got to handle, at least they were before the whole kidnapping situation. Now Moody had exiled them both to paperwork. Although Sirius was sure their punishment would be temporary.

He wandered around his apartment listlessly. James had asked him to come over for dinner, but he knew he and Lily were still in their honeymoon period and they had had nothing but company for weeks.

Sirius had brought some work home, but couldn't seem to concentrate. He flipped on the wireless, but there was nothing on he cared to listen to. With a groan, he stood and began pacing his apartment. He glanced at the front door. It had been too long since he last saw Laura. He had been avoiding seeing her, but he knew he owed her a lot of explanations.

He left his apartment and walked a few doors down to hers. He knocked lightly on her door and waited. Within a few seconds the door opened a crack. "Laura?" he asked.

"No," said the voice from inside the door. "Who's there?"

"Umm, I'm a friend of Laura's. I live a few doors down. Is she here?"

"No, she's not," answered the voice and they began to shut the door.

"Wait," said Sirius as the door closed. "I just wanted to see if she's alright." He knocked again, but got no answer. He waited a few more seconds before slowly moving away from the door. When he was nearly back to his apartment he could hear Laura's door opening again. He turned to see a small girl with dark hair standing in the doorway.

"You're not Sirius, are you?" she asked quietly.

He nodded and took a step toward her. She grabbed the handle of the door and looked like she was about to bolt back into the apartment so Sirius stopped his forward movement. "Are you a friend of Laura's?" he asked.

She nodded. "She told me you might come by. She said I wasn't to let anyone in but you."

Sirius took that as a sign he was going to be admitted into the apartment, but he knew he should be cautious. "Can we go inside and talk?" he asked.

The girl hesitated for a second before nodding yes. She opened the door for Sirius to enter. "My name's Charlotte," she began. "Laura asked me to stay at her place for a few weeks."

"Where is she?" asked Sirius.

"Last week Laura called me in a panic. She said she needed to get out of town for awhile and would I mind apartment sitting for her, you know, water the plants, feed the fish, that kind of thing. She was obviously upset and I asked her what was wrong, but she said I wouldn't believe her even if she told me. Then she told me that a guy named Sirius might stop by and if he did I should give him this." As she spoke, she made her way to a desk and pulled a small sealed envelope from the drawer. She crossed the room back to Sirius and handed him the letter.

"Thanks," he said, accepting the letter. "I don't want to bother you," he said quietly. "I'll just go." He was eager to get back to his apartment and read the letter.

If Charlotte was surprised by his abrupt departure, she didn't show it. She merely walked him to the door. "You should know," she said as he was leaving. "A couple of men stopped by a few days ago. They asked for Laura and seemed pretty put out that she wasn't here."

"Men?" questioned Sirius. "Who were they?"

"They wouldn't say," said Charlotte.

"Well, what did they look like? Were they wearing, uhh… were they wearing anything odd?"

"No," she replied. "One of them was older with a medium build, I suppose, he kept his head down, I didn't really get a good look at him. The other one was young, cute; he had black hair and was wearing glasses."

Sirius stared at her. "Black hair?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I remember because it was really messy."

Sirius felt cold. "I better go," he said quietly. He reached for the door, but she stopped him.

"Is Laura in trouble?" she asked. "I mean is she in danger?"

"No," said Sirius. "She's not. Listen, if those guys come back around tell them that… you know what, never mind. I'll take care of it myself. They won't be bothering you again. If you talk to Laura, just tell her I'm sorry and I'll take care of everything." Without waiting for an answer, he left the apartment.

He left his building and walked down the street, wondering what the hell James had been doing visiting Laura. He could think of a few reasons, but he forced himself not to jump to any conclusions. He could have ducked into an isolated area and apparated to Godric's Hollow, but he knew he needed some time to sort things out.

The letter from Laura was still in his hand, unopened. He toyed with it as he walked, wanting to know what she wrote, but oddly enough he worried what she had to say. After some internal stalling, he ripped open the letter and read as he walked. It was everything you expected in a Dear John letter. He lied to her and she didn't want to see him again. It was just too weird, she explained. With a sigh, he crumbled the letter in his hand.

He knew he should feel bad and he did, but there was also a small part of him that felt relieved. He continued walking, feeling somewhat calmer and was about to duck into an empty alleyway to apparate the rest of the way to Godric's Hollow, when he thought he saw Hermione out of the corner of his eye. "It can't be," he whispered to himself.

The girl, who had Hermione's hair, was moving along at a brisk pace. He could only see her back and was about to dismiss the thought, but something made him follow her. She was quite a bit ahead of him and he practically had to run to keep up with her.

At one point the girl turned and he was able to see her profile. It was definitely Hermione. "Hermione," he called out excitedly, but in the busy street, his voice was swallowed by the surrounding noise. He picked up his speed and tried to catch up with her, but she seemed to be in a big hurry. He nearly lost her as she crossed the street and disappeared into a large crowd.

When he crossed the street following her he saw her duck down a side street. Sirius slowed his pace and peered around the corner of the street she had just disappeared down. He saw Hermione standing next to a man in a dark robe. Sirius watched as the man lowered his hood, revealing himself to be Severus Snape.

Sirius gripped his wand tightly and watched them. Hermione and Severus were obviously deep in conversation and Sirius couldn't make out what they were saying. They spoke for about ten or fifteen minutes and then Severus handed something to Hermione and disapparated. Using a concealment charm, Sirius hid himself from Hermione when she walked past him.

He wasn't sure what he had just seen and he didn't want to face her yet. Once she was out of his sight line, Sirius disappeared down the street and apparated the rest of the way to Godric's Hollow.

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Hermione pulled her coat tighter around her as she walked down the chilly street. Even in late March it still felt cold. She had just left from her meeting with Snape and now she was heading to the Lupin's. She hadn't been able to see him before tonight. Despite what Mr. Lupin had said, Mrs. Lupin hadn't allowed her to see him the first few nights. Finally, Hermione had gone to Dumbledore and he had interceded on her behalf.

Hermione made sure she was out of the sight line of any muggles before apparating to the Lupin's. She walked to their front door and knocked firmly. After a few seconds, Mr. Lupin opened it and let her in.

"Hello Hermione," he said kindly.

"Hello," she returned. She wasn't particularly interested in exchanging pleasantries all she wanted was to see Remus.

"I'm sure you're eager to see Remus," he said. "I'll take you to his room."

"Thank you," she said and followed him through the house. "How is he?"

Mr. Lupin sighed. "I'm afraid there's been no change." They reached Remus' room and Hermione was about to enter, but Mr. Lupin put his hand on her arm, stalling her. "There's something you need to know," he began. "The Healer we've hired to care for Remus has warned us that if there isn't some change in his condition before the next full moon, he might not survive the transformation."

The news hit Hermione like a punch in the stomach, but she didn't outwardly react. She merely nodded and went into the room, closing the door behind her.

Remus was lying on the bed, looking like he was just asleep. She approached the bed and knelt next to him. "Morning sleepy head," she said softly. "It's far past the time for you to be up." She brushed the hair off his forehead and leaned over and kissed him lightly.

"It's been a long couple of weeks," she continued. "I understand if you're tired. You just rest up because I'm going to need you in top shape soon." She paused. "Dumbledore's given me a new assignment," she continued talking as if they were having an actual conversation. "It's not too dangerous, so you don't have to worry. Nobody knows about it, though. Dumbledore is insisting it be kept top secret. And considering my background, I'm sort of perfect for the job."

She paused, running her hand over his cheek. "Oh I wish you would wake up," she sighed. "I miss talking to you." A few tears fell down her face and she brushed them away. "I was thinking," she continued. "I know according to wizarding law we can't be married, but there's nothing stopping us from getting married according to muggle law. And once we were married, nobody could keep us apart." Then she found she couldn't continue talking. She laid her head down on his chest and tried to stifle her crying.

Hermione emerged from his room a while later. She wanted to make a quick escape, not wanting to run into either of the Lupin's, but she was not so fortunate. Mrs. Lupin was waiting outside her son's room for Hermione.

"I can't do this right now," said Hermione, trying to get past Mrs. Lupin.

"I want to speak to you, Hermione," said Mrs. Lupin firmly.

"Well I don't want to speak to you," she replied.

"I'm afraid you have to."

Hermione whirled around. "What do you want from me? Don't you think you've done enough? I know you wish your son hadn't met me. I know you blame me for what happened to him. Well I blame me too, but I love Remus and I would do anything for him."

"You love him?" questioned Mrs. Lupin. "I don't doubt you've made him believe that."

"I'm leaving," said Hermione, clearly disgusted.

"I know you've been lying about who you are," accused Mrs. Lupin. "I checked around and there's no record of a Hermione Granger ever attending Beauxbaton School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Hermione froze and closed her eyes wearily.

"Now why don't you tell me who you really are," she finished coldly.

Hermione didn't answer her. She didn't know what to say.

"I knew from the first time you set foot in this house there was something not quite right about you. And then you ran off with that boy and still Remus followed you. I couldn't understand how Remus could still…"

"Remus loves me," Hermione cut her off.

"Remus has always been a very loving, very forgiving child," said Mrs. Lupin, "especially after the accident. There aren't many people who accept him for what he is." Mrs. Lupin paused, shaking her head and breathing deeply. "Remus tends to overlook his friends faults. Part of him has always felt that he doesn't deserve love."

The two women stared at each other and Hermione finally felt like she understood Remus' mother. She didn't hate her, she was just afraid that Remus might love her and that she might love him back just as much. It couldn't have been easy on Mrs. Lupin watching her only son struggle with a horrible affliction. It had caused her to become overly protective of him.

"You're afraid you're going to lose him," said Hermione quietly. "But you're not. He loves you, he loves both of you. You're his parents, but he loves me too."

"He loves an illusion," replied Mrs. Lupin. "Nothing about you is real. So before you say anything else, why don't you tell me who you really are and why you've been lying to us all."

"I better go," said Hermione, trying to step past her.

Mrs. Lupin's hand shot out and she grabbed Hermione. "Why have you been lying to us? Who are you?" she insisted.

Hermione tried to break free of her grasp, but Mrs. Lupin had too strong of a hold on her.

"Daphne, let go of Hermione," exclaimed Mr. Lupin. He advanced towards his wife. "What's going on?"

"She's been lying to us, Robert," said Mrs. Lupin. "And I don't want her around my son anymore."

"Daphne, we agreed…" he began.

"No," she shouted, cutting him off. "I won't have her in this house."

Mr. Lupin sighed deeply. "Hermione, maybe you ought to go home."

Hermione nodded slowly and started to walk toward the front door. A few feet away, she turned back. "I just want you both to know that I don't have any secrets from your son. And I never lied about loving him." Hermione turned back and left the house.

Her head was pounding and she wished she could block out all the noise in her mind. She couldn't blame Mrs. Lupin for anything because ultimately she was right. Hermione had lied about who she was and where she came from. If their roles had been reversed she wouldn't have trusted her either.

Mr. Lupin had told her to go home and the only place she could think to go was James' home. They were the only family she had. It only took a few moments to arrive at Godric's Hollow. She knocked lightly on the door and waited.

Lily answered and when she saw who it was, she threw the door open wide and threw her arms around Hermione. "Oh I'm so happy to see you. Why'd you stay away so long? It's nearly been a week."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, returning Lily's hug.

"Don't apologize," said Lily quickly. "I'm just glad to see you. How's Remus?" she asked.

Hermione shook her head, unable to say anything.

Lily put an arm around her. "Come on in," she said sympathetically.

"You're crazy," shouted James from another room. "I can't believe you're even suggesting it."

"What's going on?" Hermione asked Lily.

Lily shrugged. "Sirius is here. He came to see James, but he wanted to talk in private." The two girls heard more commotion and the voices sounded like they were getting closer.

"James I saw her," said Sirius, he was following James who was walking towards the girls. When they saw Hermione they both froze.

"Hermione," gasped James. He moved toward her and pulled her into a tight hug. Hermione was shocked and didn't return his hug right away.

"Is everything all right, James?" she asked uncertainly.

"Of course," he laughed lightly. "I'm just glad to see you."

When they pulled away, Hermione acknowledged Sirius with a small smile. "Hello Sirius," she said.

"Hermione," he replied coldly.

Hermione took a step away from him at his obvious coldness to her. "What?" she questioned. "What's wrong?"

He smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You've been gone for a while," he said. "How have you been keeping yourself busy?"

"Sirius, stop it," said James angrily.

"What's going on?" asked Lily, her voice full of concern. "Sirius what's the matter with you?"

"Why don't you ask Hermione," he said.

"Sirius, have I done something to make you upset?" she asked in confusion.

"I saw you," he hissed at her, "today."

Hermione shook her head. "I… I don't understand."

He exhaled loudly. "I think you do understand. You didn't see me, but I saw you."

Hermione paled. "Maybe I should go," she said and turned to leave. Sirius was quick and moved to block her exit.

"No Hermione, don't leave," said James. "Sirius is in a foul temper and if he can't learn to control it, he can go home."

"I'm not leaving until she tells you both where she was this afternoon," said Sirius.

"Sirius, please don't do this. I've had such a long day. I don't think I can take anymore."

James looked at Hermione in horror. "You weren't," he said. "It's not true."

"What is going on?" demanded Lily.

"She was with Snape today," accused Sirius. "Don't bother to deny it. I saw you."

"That's ridiculous," said Lily.

Hermione looked down at the ground. "You don't understand," she said.

"Hermione," gasped Lily in shock. "You weren't?"

She looked up at all of them. "Please don't ask me about it. If you all only knew what kind of a day I've had."

"Tell me you weren't with Snivellus today," shouted James. "I don't believe it."

Hermione rubbed her eyes wearily. "I'll just go back to Hogwarts," she said. "We can talk about this some other time."

"No we'll talk about this now," said Sirius. "It's really not that difficult. Were you or were you not with Severus Snape today?"

"I was," she said quietly.

"How could you see him after what he did to Lily?" asked James. "Hermione, it's traitorous."

Hermione's head hurt and she was tired and heartsick. She didn't have any fight left in her. "I'm going to go," she said again.

"Hermione, you're either with us or you're not," said Sirius.

"Of course I'm with you," she said angrily, finally losing her temper.

"Not if you're having secret meetings with a known Death Eater," said James. "What were you thinking? They could throw you out of the Order for that."

"I don't care," she said.

"Hermione, what are you saying?" asked Lily.

"I said I don't care," she shouted. She pushed past Sirius. "I came here to get away from accusations and questions. I thought this was home. I thought I could come here to rest and be taken care of. I know it's pathetic, but I'm tired and I just don't want to be strong for everyone anymore." She opened the front door and slammed it behind her.

"She's not a traitor," said Lily.

"She didn't even bother explaining what she was doing with him," said Sirius.

"We didn't give her a chance to explain," said Lily.

"It doesn't matter what the explanation was. She shouldn't have been with Snape," said James. "Not after everything he's done. He's a Death Eater and if she's associating with him then she's a traitor."

"James," gasped Lily. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's the truth," he said and then he left the room.

"Sirius, you have to talk to him," said Lily. "James has never been able to think rationally where Severus was concerned."

"I can't Lily," said Sirius quietly.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because I agree with him," said Sirius.

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The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months and before anyone knew it, the summer was beginning. James, Sirius, and Lily hadn't seen Hermione since the night of their awful argument. They all took her disappearance very hard, the boys especially. They felt a lot of guilt over their actions that night.

Sirius and James spent a good deal of their off time trying to hunt her down. What baffled them the most was Dumbledore's reaction. He seemed unconcerned with her disappearance and wouldn't cooperate with their search.

Lily took Hermione's place where Remus was concerned. She went to visit him every night and they were all relieved when he made it through his first transformation.

One June evening, James was heading home after a particularly long day. Lily was there to meet them. She hugged her husband tightly when he came inside. "Hello, my love," said James, kissing his wife.

"Hi James," she replied. "How was work?"

James shook his head. "I swear that Moody wants to kill us with work."

Lily laughed. "It sure seems that way sometimes. Come sit down, I've got dinner waiting." Lily led her husband to the dining room table and made him sit. She massaged her husband's shoulders lightly. "Oh boy, you're so tense." She applied a little more pressure.

"Mmm, that feels good," said James, melting into the massage. He tipped his head up for a kiss, which his wife eagerly obliged him with. "Maybe we should skip dinner," he murmured. Lily smiled and kissed him again. James stood and was about to lead his wife into their bedroom when there was a loud knock at their front door. With a sigh, he and Lily went to answer it.

It was Sirius and he was breathless with excitement.

"What's going on?" asked James.

"It's Remus," said Sirius happily. "He's awake."

"What?" exclaimed Lily.

Sirius stepped into the house, picked Lily up and twirled her around. "He's awake, Lil. He's awake."

They were all shouting and laughing their excitement. "I was going to go straight to him, but I had to let you both know first. Come on, let's go see him," said Sirius excitedly.

"All right," replied Lily. "Let's go."

They arrived at the Lupin's shortly thereafter. Sirius knocked and they all waited eagerly. Mr. Lupin opened the door and allowed them in. "It's a miracle," he boomed. They all laughed happily. "The healer's in with him, but I know he's eager to see you all. Go right in," he said.

They moved as one to his room. They found Remus sitting up in bed, looking tired and weak, but he was awake.

"Remus, you're awake. You look great. We're so happy to see you." They were all talking at once.

Remus smiled tiredly. "It's good to see you too." He tilted his head slightly, trying to look around them. "Where's Hermione?" he asked.

There was an immediate hush around the room.

"What?" he asked. "Where is she? I want to see her."

"Remus," began Lily stepping forward. "We don't know where she is."

"What do you mean?" he asked, starting to get agitated.

"Please stay calm," begged Lily. She sat on the bed next to him. "We don't know where she is."

"I don't understand," said Remus. "She's not hurt, is she?"

"No," said Lily. "She just…" she paused, not wanting to lie to him. "After you got sick, she had such a hard time dealing with it."

"That's not true," said Sirius stepping forward. "Remus, we argued with her," he confessed. "We're the reason she left. But James and I are doing everything we can to find her. We spend almost all of our free time searching."

Remus threw the blankets off him and started to get out of bed.

"What are you doing?" exclaimed Lily.

"I'm going to find my fiancé," he said, struggling to stand.

"Remus you're too weak," argued James. "You need to conserve your strength."

"No, I need to find Hermione," he said, but before he could take one step he started to fall. James and Sirius caught him and eased him back into his bed.

"Remus, we promise, as soon as you're strong enough. We'll all look for her."

Remus stared at his friends, taking deep breaths. The tiny bit of exertion after months of being in bed had drained him. "I want to see Dumbledore," he said weakly. "Bring Dumbledore here."

"Remus," began James.

"Bring Dumbledore," he shouted. "Or I'll find a way to get to him."

"We'll bring him," agreed James quickly.

Remus laid back against his pillows. "Just bring Dumbledore," he said. "He'll know where she is. I know it."


	47. Chapter 47

While he waited for Dumbledore to arrive, Remus demanded that his friends fill him in on everything he had missed while he had been in his coma. Reluctantly they filled him in and nobody came off very well.

"How could you do that to her?" Remus asked angrily. "You should have been taking care of her while I couldn't."

"We know," said James. "Believe me, we feel awful about what happened."

"She was so tired," said Lily miserably. "She just kept saying that she had an awful day and…"

"What else happened that day?" demanded Remus.

Lily looked at her husband anxiously and then turned back to Remus. "She was here before she came to us. James and Sirius talked to your parents when we started looking for her and found out that your mother and Hermione had words."

"What?" asked Remus through clenched teeth.

"Now don't get upset," warned Lily.

"Don't get upset," scoffed Remus. "I thought I could count on you guys to take care of her if anything ever happened to me."

"You can," said Lily.

"Obviously not," he replied angrily.

"Remus," began James, stepping forward and putting a reassuring hand on his wife's shoulder. "We made a mistake and we're doing everything we can to find her. But I don't think she wants to be found."

"I'll find her," promised Remus.

As he said this, Dumbledore walked into the room. "I'm delighted to see you awake, Mr. Lupin," he said with a warm smile.

"James, Lily, Sirius, can you give me a minute with Professor Dumbledore?" asked Remus. The three friends immediately stood and left the room. Remus waited until they closed the door before addressing Dumbledore. "Professor, where is Hermione?"

"She's safe," he assured him.

"Safe where?" insisted Remus.

"When you're well enough to travel, arrangements can be made for you to join her," said Dumbledore. "Until then, I'm afraid it would be unwise to disclose her location."

Remus started to get out of bed. "I'm well enough to travel now."

"Remus, you must conserve your strength," said Dumbledore. "You've just been through a tremendous ordeal. Your body…"

"I won't be able to rest until I see her and know she's safe," Remus interrupted. "So either you take me to her or I'll find her myself," he said.

"Very well, Remus, but you must rest for at least a few days."

"No," said Remus. "From what Lily's told me, she's been alone for months. I have to see her and she would want to know I was okay."

Dumbledore nodded in agreement. "She only agreed to go if I promised to allow her to return if there was any change in your condition."

"Then bring her back," said Remus, thinking this was a much better plan.

"I can't. She's doing important work for the Order and her mission's at a critical stage. Even she would acknowledge that she can't abandon it."

"Then you'll just have to take me to her," said Remus, but he could tell Dumbledore was still hesitating. "I swear I'll rest once I see her. I'll do anything you ask. Please."

"Very well," agreed Dumbledore. "We'll go in the morning." Remus started to protest. "That's your only option Remus," said Dumbledore sternly. "You will rest until then and I will make the arrangements to send you to Hermione."

"Thank you," said Remus.

"You're welcome," said Dumbledore. "Now rest. I'll speak with your parents and return in the morning." Dumbledore left the room and Remus fell back against his pillow. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was exhausted and felt like he could sleep for an eternity.

Once Dumbledore left, James, Sirius, and Lily returned to the room. "Did Dumbledore tell you where she was?" asked Sirius immediately.

Remus shook his head. "No, but he's taking me to her in the morning."

"Remus, you're too weak," protested Lily.

"Then he did know," said James indignantly at the same time.

Remus ignored Lily. "He says she's on a mission for the Order."

"I wonder if it has anything to do with Snivellus. Maybe that's why she was meeting him," said Sirius.

"Whatever she's doing," began Remus. "You can bet it's dangerous. And I don't plan on leaving without her."

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Hermione was out of bed as soon as the sun started to peak over the hillside. She hadn't been to bed until very late, but she had gotten herself used to operating on very little sleep. Most of her days consisted of sitting and waiting and she didn't require a whole lot of energy to do that.

Per her routine, she paid the three owls that delivered various newspapers to her every morning and then went to her small kitchen to conjure a cup of tea, coffee when she had a rough morning, and made breakfast.

She was almost through the first paper, when she heard a noise at the front of the cottage. She pulled her wand out of her pocket and set her tea cup down. Cautiously she moved along the wall and slipped out of the kitchen. She could hear someone in the front hall so she made her way out the back door and circled the cottage to the front door.

The door was still open, so she let herself back in and found herself staring at the back of a man who was leaning wearily against the wall, beside what appeared to be a small carpet bag.

"Who are you?" she said in a low threatening voice.

The man jumped a little and started to turn.

"Don't move," she ordered. "Just tell me who you are and how the hell you got in here."

"Hermione, it's me, Remus," he said.

Hermione gritted her teeth. "You're not Remus," she said. "And if you tell me another lie it will be the last thing you say."

"Honey, it's me," he turned very slowly and faced her.

A rage filled Hermione when she saw the face of the person she loved more than anyone in the world. "How did you get a piece of him?" she demanded.

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"For the Polyjuice Potion," she said. "How did you do it? Because I swear, whoever you are, if you hurt him…"

"Hermione, it's me. Professor Dumbledore brought me. Professor," he called out.

Hermione tightened her grip on her wand and felt a moment's indecision. Part of her wanted to stun whoever it was and ask questions later, but another part of her froze. Within seconds, Professor Dumbledore stood behind Remus.

"Professor," she asked uncertainly.

"It's me, Hermione," said Professor Dumbledore. "You don't need to worry. The only way anyone could find you is through me. And I shared the secret of your location with Remus." He could see that she was still uncertain. "Our agreement was that you could come home if there was a change in his condition."

"But I can't leave now," she said.

"So I brought him to you," said Professor Dumbledore. "I'm sorry we startled you. It's why I asked him to wait in the front of the house. I wanted to ease the shock for you, but it appears you're getting as good at detection as Alastor Moody."

Hermione wasn't listening to Dumbledore anymore. Her entire focus was on Remus. "Remus," she mouthed silently.

He nodded and took a cautious step toward her. In less than a second, Hermione crossed the room and closed the gap between the two of them. She threw herself into his arms, nearly causing them both to fall. She couldn't speak for several minutes. She just held onto him, trying to reassure herself that he was really here.

After a few minutes, Dumbledore gently interjected. "Hermione, we need to let Remus sit. He's been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours.

"Oh," exclaimed Hermione, recovering her wits. "Of course. Come, sit down." She led Remus to the small kitchen and made him sit in one of the two chairs. Once he was seated, she didn't release him. She touched his arm, his shoulder, anything not to lose contact.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Me," she laughed. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm better, now that I've seen you. When you weren't there when I woke up…"

"I'm so sorry," she interrupted. "I didn't want to leave you. I…"

"Shh," he hushed her. "I know everything. You don't have to explain a thing." He put his hands on her waist and brought her closer. "I couldn't rest until I knew you were okay."

"You must be exhausted," she said brushing a lock of hair off his forehead. "You look so tired." Remus leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

"Hermione," interrupted Dumbledore. "Remus has only just recovered. He'll be weak for some time. But he's chosen to recover here and I hope in time he can be of some assistance to you."

"Then I can fill him in on the mission?" she asked.

Dumbledore nodded. "But not right away. I suggest he go to bed and rest. I will allow you to use your judgment on when to fill him in on the details of your mission. You have some time. Your next meeting isn't scheduled for another ten days. That should be enough time for Remus to regain some of his strength."

"Thank you, Professor," said Hermione. "For everything."

"I'll leave you two now," he said. "You know how to reach me if you need anything."

"Let me walk you out, Professor," said Hermione, but Remus seemed reluctant to let her go.

"That's okay, my dear. I can find my own way out. Goodbye."

"Goodbye," they both replied.

Once Dumbledore left, Hermione took a hold of Remus' hands and helped him stand. "Come on," she said. "I'm going to put you to bed."

She led him into her room. It was the only bedroom in the cottage. "Sorry the bed's not made," she said. "I wasn't expecting company."

"Don't worry about it," he replied, sitting down. She sat next to him.

"It's been so long," she said. "It almost doesn't feel real."

Remus put one hand on the side of her face and leaned over and kissed her. He lingered over her lips, tasting her again as if for the first time. Hermione melted into him, closing the gap between them. "Does that feel real?" he asked softly.

She nodded. "How long can you stay, really?" she asked.

"Forever," he replied.

She smiled. "Promise?"

He nodded. "Promise."

Reluctantly, she pulled away from him and went back to the front of the house to get his bag. Then she helped him change and put him into the bed. "Can I get you anything?" she asked once he was settled. "Are you hungry or thirsty?"

"No," he replied. "Just come here. Stay with me, I can't let you out of my sight yet." Hermione readily joined him in bed, cuddling close to him.

"I missed you," she said. "Some nights I would lie awake and it hurt so much that you weren't next to me."

"That's never going to happen again," he reassured her. "We've been through enough. Things are going to be better for us. We're going to get married and then nobody will separate us ever again."

"Do you remember that month in our first flat?" she asked. "Wasn't it perfect then?"

He nodded, smiling at the memories. "We'll have that again. We'll have a place where neither the Ministry or Voldemort will be able to find us. Or my parents," he added bitterly. Hermione didn't say anything. "I know what my mother did to you," he said quietly. "It will never happen again."

"I'm not angry with your mother," said Hermione. "Everything she said was the truth. I did lie."

"Not to me," said Remus strongly. "And you don't owe her the truth."

"She's your mother," she said. "And my future mother-in-law, maybe we ought to tell her the truth."

"You know what," he said turning to her. "I don't actually want to talk about my mother right now. I just want to hold you."

"You are holding me," she reminded him with a smile. They lay together in comfortable silence for a long time before Hermione broached a question. "Remus," she began. "There's something I have to tell you." She waited. "Remus?" She lifted her head slightly and could see that he'd fallen asleep. She didn't even bother trying to extricate herself from his arms. She just relaxed and listened to the happy sound of his steady breathing.

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As Remus began to wake, he swore he could feel somebody's eyes on him. Slowly he opened one eye and smiled when he saw Hermione's smiling face.

"Morning," she said softly. "Or perhaps I should say good evening."

"What time is it?" he asked sleepily.

"Nearly seven," she replied.

"It's so late," he said, stretching and reaching out for Hermione and pulling her closer.

"I didn't want to wake you," she said, stroking his stubbly cheek.

"Have you been here this whole time?" he asked.

She nodded. "I fell asleep for a little while, but mostly I just watched over you."

"That's my job," he protested with a smile.

"It's my job too," she returned. "Are you hungry?" she asked, changing the subject.

Remus nodded. "But I'm not sure what I can handle. It's been a while since I've had solid food."

"Don't worry," said Hermione. She disentangled herself from his arms and got up. "I'll find something suitable." She returned in a few minutes with a tray and set it on a table near the bed. "Just try a little," she cautioned him. She leaned over and kissed him. "I'm going to get you well again," she promised.

While Remus ate, Hermione bustled around the bedroom getting things together. She made room in her dresser and closet for Remus' things. The small bag Remus had brought with him had been charmed to hold most of his personal belongings. Hermione happily hung his robes next to hers and turned the rest of her bedroom into their bedroom.

Remus ate very little. Mostly he watched her and felt a tremendous wave of peace wash over him. Their relationship had been full of one dramatic upheaval after another, but now it felt like they might actually be able to have a normal life together. He had always been afraid to look too far into their future. He preferred to stay in the moment because no matter what she said, he really didn't know how long they had. And now for the first time Remus let himself think about their future together. He could see her with his ring on her finger, with his baby on her hip, with their grandchildren surrounding them.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Hermione when she saw him watching her.

"Us," he replied.

"No wonder you're smiling."

"Come here," he said, patting the space next to him. She sat next to him. He took her hand and kissed it lightly. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said back.

"I'm glad," he said, "because I want to marry you."

She laughed. "I know. I want to marry you too."

"Tomorrow," he finished.

Hermione froze.

"Don't look so nervous, honey," he said with a laugh. "I thought you wanted to get married."

"Oh I do," she said, recovering her voice. "But Remus, we can't just get married tomorrow, even by muggle law. We need to file notice and then you have to wait at least fourteen days."

"I did file notice," he replied.

"What?"

"Months ago, when we first talked about getting married. And our muggle license is valid for one year."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"I was hoping we wouldn't need it. I guess, ultimately, I wanted you to have a traditional wizard's wedding. I thought you deserved that, but I can't wait for them to repeal that law. I have to marry you before another thing happens." He paused and added a little half heartedly. "But if you have your heart set on a big wedding…"

"I'm muggle born," she interrupted him. "And I'm not one of those girl's who dreamed of a big fancy wedding. I couldn't ask for more than marrying the sweetest, most resourceful," she leaned over and kissed him, "most handsome man I've ever known."

"So you'll marry me tomorrow?" he asked cautiously.

She nodded. "I will."

They spent the rest of the night talking about their future together until they fell asleep sometime after midnight. In the morning they apparated to the muggle part of town and were married. Their witnesses were two muggles they had never met before. The ceremony was simple to the point of being plain, yet they both felt it was the most beautiful moment of their lives.

Once they were married, Remus couldn't wait to get his new wife back to their temporary home. They apparated back to the cottage and for a moment stared at each other almost shyly. Then Hermione held out her hand and Remus took it. "My husband," she whispered before kissing him and pulling him into their bedroom.

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A few days after they were married, Hermione found herself bustling around their kitchen trying to cook dinner. Her marriage had released feelings of domesticity she hadn't known she had. She waved her wand and set the table with china and candles. Then she twirled her wand again and transported the food to the plates on the table.

"Remus," she called. "Dinner." She was very anxious to have a nice dinner because she had something very important to discuss with her husband. She had wanted to tell him everything about her mission on the first day, but then they had gotten married and nothing seemed important but that. Now, however, she was running out of time. In a few short days they would be receiving a visitor and Hermione wanted Remus to be prepared.

Remus entered the kitchen, looking tired as usual, but very happy. He smiled at his wife, kissed her, and sat down.

"Everything looks delicious," he commented. "I like the candles," he noted.

"Thank you," she replied sweetly. "Eat," she commanded. "Before it gets cold."

"Yes ma'am," he said quickly. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Remus spoke. "I wrote to my parents this morning," he said.

"Oh," replied Hermione in surprise.

"Yes," he continued. "I told them we were married."

"Have you heard any reply?" asked Hermione, trying to keep her voice even.

"Not yet," replied Remus. "I'm not certain I will."

"Your mother will write," Hermione reassured him. "She loves you very much."

"Yes," acknowledged Remus. "But she doesn't respect me or my choices. And that's all I really want from her at the moment. No matter what her reaction is, I want you to know that you come first in my life. That's what my vows meant to me. I won't allow her to treat you badly."

Hermione smiled thankfully at him. "Who knows," she said, trying to lighten the tone of the conversation. "Maybe now that we're married, she'll come around."

"Maybe, but it doesn't matter to me if she doesn't."

Hermione thought it best not to call her husband a liar. She knew Remus loved both his parents a great deal and he desperately wanted their approval, but she also knew that no one was more important to him than she was and nothing would change that.

"Have you written to James and Lily or Sirius yet?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"No," said Remus. "Have you?"

"No. I kind of like the idea of showing up at Godric's Hollow married and surprising them."

"That might be fun," said Remus. "James will be green with envy."

"Why do you say that?" asked Hermione with a laugh.

"Well, I didn't have to go through any of the things he did to get you to marry me. Do you have any idea how many shops Lily dragged James to trying to find the perfect set of robes for him to be married in?"

"If I recall correctly, I got dragged into a few of those shops myself," replied Hermione.

"True," acknowledged Remus. "But nearly as many as James, I sure did dodge a bullet."

"Watch it," warned Hermione, but she was smiling.

"This is really good," said Remus.

"Don't act so surprised," said Hermione. "I was bound to get it right eventually." Her first few tries at cooking hadn't been as successful. "Remus," she said, clearing her throat. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, umm… something I wanted to tell you from the first day Dumbledore brought you here, something about why I'm here."

Remus looked up with interest. They hadn't discussed anything about her mission and he hadn't wanted to press her. He knew she would tell him everything at the right time.

"Right," she mumbled. "This is probably going to be a little surprising for you."

"Honey," he began, reaching across the table and taking her hand in his. "Just tell me. It can't be too bad."

"We're going to be getting some company in a few days," said Hermione. "He's a spy, a Death Eater who decided to join our side. He comes here to pass along information and he usually stays for a day or two, sometimes more depending on the reason he gives his friends for his trips."

"I see," said Remus evenly. "Why does he stay so long?" he asked. "Surely he can pass along any information he has in a few hours."

"Well you see," continued Hermione, "that's part of the cover. If anyone asks, he tells them he's visiting a very close friend, if you catch what I'm saying, and that explains why he's gone overnight. Dumbledore thought that would raise less suspicion than if he just met me somewhere for a few hours and returned to his associates."

"I see," repeated Remus.

"We tried meeting in secret at first," Hermione rushed on, "but we were caught."

"What?" exclaimed Remus.

"Caught by a member of the Order, not a Death Eater," explained Hermione hastily.

"Who?" asked Remus suspiciously.

"Sirius," said Hermione quietly. "He got very angry."

"Oh God," interrupted Remus. "Please don't tell me the spy is Snape."

Hermione looked down at her plate and didn't answer.

"Hermione," yelled Remus. "What were you thinking? Snape can't be trusted. He was one of the Death Eaters who held us at Malfoy Manor."

"He helped us escape," interrupted Hermione.

"James and Sirius helped us escape," said Remus.

"And Severus," added Hermione. "He was the one who told James and Sirius where to find us."

"I can't believe you're doing this," said Remus. "Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?"

"We're taking all the right precautions," argued Hermione. "The location of the cottage can only be revealed by Dumbledore, he's the secret keeper for our location and only Severus, you, and I know the secret."

"That's if Snape can be trusted," said Remus.

"And I'm telling you he can be," said Hermione. "Look, I know you boys have never gotten along, but there's more to Severus than any of you ever bothered to find out. He's sullen and cross, but he's not evil. And I have a long history with him, so you will just have to trust me."

"You're playing another one of your future cards, aren't you?" said Remus sulkily. "So I'm just supposed to accept this?"

"I hope you'll do more than that," said Hermione. "I hope you'll help me. Severus brings a lot of information, but it doesn't always make sense. Voldemort is very careful about his plans and he only tells his followers what they absolutely need to know. There are always a lot of holes in the stuff Severus tells me."

"Of course I'll help you," said Remus. "But don't expect me to like the fact that Snape is here." He paused. "Wait a minute. You said he stays two or more days. Does that mean he's spent the night here? Alone? With you?" With each word his voice got a little louder.

"Remus calm down," said Hermione. "He sleeps on the couch, not in my room."

"But Hermione," he said, clearly outraged. "He could have done anything to you. He's not trust worthy. He…"

Hermione stood and went around the table and put her hand over her husband's mouth. "Darling, I'm still in one piece. He obviously isn't a danger to me personally. Besides, I think I've proven I can take care of myself don't you."

Remus tried to speak, but Hermione wouldn't let him. Instead, she lowered herself onto his lap and kissed him. "Now, you don't really want to talk about Snape anymore, do you?" she asked moving her mouth from his lips to his ear. "Because there are so many other things I'd like to do tonight besides that."

"Hermione," began Remus, trying his best to keep his mind on their conversation, but the things Hermione was doing to him proved to be too distracting.

"Yes," she said. "You were saying?"

"I umm… I…," he stuttered.

"Yes," she prompted, as her hands explored lower and lower.

Remus moaned. "Not fair," he breathed deeply.

"I can stop if you want," she said, removing her hands from his body.

"Don't you dare," he growled. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, then thought twice and stood, lifting her as he did.

"Remus," she shrieked, surprised but delighted at his sudden aggression. She shivered in anticipation as he carried her to their bedroom and kicked the door open.

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A/N: Merry Christmas to all!


	48. Chapter 48

"Remus, can you please straighten up those books. Severus will be here any minute," nagged Hermione.

Remus was sitting sulkily in a chair. He folded his arms not intending to do what Hermione asked, but quickly jumped up when he saw the look on her face. He picked up the books and put them away haphazardly on the shelf.

"Remus, do it right," she scolded.

Grumbling all the while, he made sure the spines of each book were lined up with the edge of the bookshelf, just like Hermione liked it. "Happy," he said under his breath so she couldn't hear him.

"Yes," she said coming up behind him.

Remus jumped. He didn't realize she was so close. "Uhh…," he mumbled.

She kissed the back of his neck. "You're so grumpy. I don't know how I'm going to punish you."

Remus turned toward his wife with a smile. "I could think of a few…" Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Remus' face immediately clouded over.

"Behave," mouthed Hermione. She moved around him and went to open the door. "Hi Severus," she said. "Come on in."

"Thank you," said Snape. He entered the house and lowered his hood, before coming face to face with Remus. "What is he doing here?" he asked angrily. "This wasn't part of the deal, Granger."

"Don't take that tone with my wife," snapped Remus, taking a step toward Snape.

"Wife?"

"Yes, Severus," interrupted Hermione, casually stepping between the two men. "I trust you remember Remus, my husband."

"I remember Lupin," said Snape, "but not as your husband."

"We were married a few days ago," explained Hermione. "We live here together now, so all three of us are going to have to make the best of our situation."

"It's a real shame, Granger. I thought you were smarter than this," said Snape.

"What's that supposed to mean," said Remus, advancing. Hermione put her hand on his chest and stopped his forward motion.

"I just can't believe she's tied herself to a werewolf for life. She's just accepted near banishment from our society."

"All right, that's enough," said Hermione angrily. "The two of you are off to a very bad start. Severus, Remus is my husband and my loyalty lies with him, before the Order, before Dumbledore, before everything. If you understand that, we won't have any problems. Remus, whether you like it or not, the Order needs Severus. Please don't let old school grudges stand in the way of that. Now, can we at least sit down and relax?"

"Sure," said Remus. "Whatever you want, Hermione."

"I've committed to do this, and I don't break my word," said Snape.

"Thank you," she said taking a deep breath. She turned and addressed Snape. "Are you hungry? Dinner's on the table."

"Umm, no," hesitated Snape.

"It's okay," said Hermione. "Remus cooked. I only helped a little," she said with a smile.

"In that case," replied Snape.

Hermione laughed. "My cooking hasn't been that bad," she protested.

"If you say so," said Severus dryly.

Remus watched the easy interaction between the two with growing unrest. They were acting almost like friends. He realized that for several months Hermione's only company had been Snape and Dumbledore, but he thought that their relationship would have been a bit more business like rather than a genuine friendship.

Hermione led Severus to the table. "Sit down. Remus and I will get dinner."

Hermione went to the kitchen and Remus followed her. "Hermione," he began once they were out of ear shot of Snape.

"Remus," she interrupted. "You promised to behave."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not a child, Hermione. I don't need to be told to behave."

"Obviously you do," she whispered. "Severus is a guest in our home and you're treating him as if he was unwanted."

"He is unwanted," mumbled Remus. He was more than a little resentful of the fact that Severus had arrived in the middle of what should have been their honeymoon. He wanted his wife to himself.

"We need him," scolded Hermione. "The information he brings is saving the lives of Order members and all good wizards and witches everywhere."

"I know, I know," said Remus. "I understand and I'll put up with him. But I'm not going to pretend that I like it." Without another word, he turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Hermione sighed deeply and followed him, not wanting to leave the two boys alone for any length of time. They all had a quiet and polite dinner. "So," said Hermione, once everyone had finished. "How long are you staying this time, Severus?"

Snape eyed Remus before answering. "As short a time as possible," he said.

"We'll be sorry to see you go," replied Remus.

Hermione sighed in annoyance. "Care to be more specific?" she asked.

"A couple of days," answered Severus. "I'm not expected back until Friday."

"That's it?" questioned Hermione. "Last time you stayed a week."

"A week," exclaimed Remus. "You were alone with him for a week?"

"I stayed ten days the time before that," goaded Snape.

"Severus," shouted Hermione in anger.

Remus glared at him, stood up and left the room.

Hermione watched him leave before returning her attention to Snape. "You just had to add that, didn't you?" she accused.

Severus rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. "I can't control your jealous husband."

"No, but you can control yourself," she said. "He's not happy having you here. And I meant what I said before, nothing comes before Remus."

"You would really throw away all our work for him?"

Hermione stood and looked Snape directly in the eye. "In a second." She pushed back her chair and went to find her husband. He was in their bedroom.

"Remus," she began. "I'm sorry about Severus. He was out of line."

"Forget it, Hermione," said Remus quietly. "It doesn't matter."

She moved toward him and put her arms around his waist. "It matters to me," she said. "Remus you're better than this. You're a better man than he is. You shouldn't let anything he says affect you. Yes, we've spent a lot of time alone here, but there wasn't a second of that time that I wished you were with me instead of him."

"And all the while I was lying in my little bed, safe and sound," he said bitterly.

"Remus look at me," said Hermione forcefully. He turned and their eyes met. "What's going on in your head?" she asked, brushing a lock of hair off his cheek. "What's bothering you really?"

"Nothing," he said, trying to turn away.

"Remus talk to me, please."

"It's just," he began. "I hate it so much that you've been out here, alone and in danger while I was safe at home."

"Remus," said Hermione incredulously. "You hardly had any choice in the matter. You were hurt. My God, I almost lost you. Do you know how close you came to… God, I don't even want to say it." She started to tear up and Remus pulled her close to him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Please don't cry. I swore I'd never make you cry."

"I'm not crying," she sniffled and then she started laughing. Remus laughed too. It felt good.

"What are we fighting about?" he asked.

She draped her arms around his neck. "Were we fighting?" she asked, pulling him down for a kiss. They kissed and their bodies came closer and closer together until there was no space. Just when Remus thought he was going to go into sensory overload, Hermione pulled away. He groaned and tried to bring her back.

"I'll be right back," she said.

"No, don't go," moaned Remus.

"Right back," she promised, quickly escaping from their room. She checked on Snape who was still sitting at the table. "Hey," she said. "Umm, we're kind of tired," she said with a small blush on her cheeks. "We're going to turn in early tonight. Make yourself comfortable and just pull out the couch when you're ready for bed. You know where everything is. Goodnight." She hurried back to her room hearing Snape behind her, but not stopping.

"Don't forget the silencing charm," he said rudely.

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The next morning the sun seemed to be shining just a little brighter, at least it did to Remus and Hermione. Snape thought there was a bit too much sun and Remus and Hermione's cheerful mood was just a bit too much to take.

Longbeforethey strolled out of bed, Snape had already had breakfast, read the Prophet from front to back, and taken a walk around the house, checking to make sure everything was secure.

By the time the three of them sat to discuss the movements of the Death Eaters, he was very annoyed, not that Hermione or Remus noticed.

"I think you should know," he said, his voice dripping with irritation, "that The Dark Lord is making finding Pettigrew a priority."

"Really?" said Hermione in surprise. "Peter's insignificant. Why would he focus his energy on him?"

"Peter's a traitor," said Snape. "The Dark Lord wants to make an example of him, a very painful, very public example."

"Well, you don't have to worry about him," said Hermione. "The only person who knows anything about Peter is James and he wouldn't say anything. Not even Dumbledore knows where Peter's hiding."

"Sirius will know," interrupted Remus.

Hermione shook her head. "Sirius thinks Peter's on his way to Azkaban. We had to tell him that to keep him from killing Peter. I don't even want to think about what would happen if he knew James was actually protecting Peter."

"Are you sure?" asked Snape.

"Of course," said Hermione. "Why?"

"It may be nothing, but there someone is giving The Dark Lord the impression that they're close to finding Peter."

"They're lying to him, then. I told you, no one, not even me, knows where Peter is."

Snape shrugged, willing to let the topic drop. They continued discussing the Death Eater's movements for the next several hours until they were all so tired they couldn't think. Snape was watching Remus very closely. He had a kind of half smile on his face.

"What is it you find so amusing, Lupin?" asked Snape.

Remus seemed to snap out of his reverie. "Huh? Oh, nothing."

"Obviously something is amusing you," insisted Snape.

"Well if you must know," said Remus. "I was thinking back to our days at Hogwarts."

Snape's face instantly soured.

"What about?" asked Hermione curiously.

"I was rememberingthis oneHalloween when James and Sirius convinced some of the ghosts to make a huge disturbance during the feast so we could all sneak out without getting caught."

"I knew that was you guys," said Snape. "It lacked any kind of subtlety. Loud noises and huge disturbances were always Potter and Black's trade marks."

"What made you think of that?" interrupted Hermione, shooting a look at Snape.

Remus pointed over Hermione's head at a calendar. "Halloween was two weeks ago. The time is flying by."

Hermione looked shocked by this. "It's already November?" she questioned.

Remus nodded.

Not believing him, she stood up and strode over to the calendar on the wall and took it down. She carried it into their bedroom and closed the door.

"Your wife has very odd habits," commented Snape. "She does that a lot."

"What?" questioned Remus, not really paying attention to Snape, but staring at the closed bedroom door.

"She leaves the room in the middle of a thought, like she's suddenly found the answer to one of life's great mysteries and she must consult one of her books."

Remus looked back at Snape and then stood and followed Hermione's path to the bedroom.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Apparently, it's catching."

Hermione was sitting on the bed, flipping through the calendar. "It can't be," she was muttering.

"What's the matter, honey?" asked Remus.

She looked up at him, her face pale. "I've completely lost track of time," she said. "I had no idea it was November."

"So what," said Remus. "What's so special about November?"

Hermione stood and began pacing around the room. "We have to go home," she said, without bothering to offer any explanation.

"What are you talking about?" asked Remus in shock. "You just spent the past couple of days going on and on about how important this mission was to the Order. For God's sake, Snape is sitting in our living room."

"I know what I said," said Hermione in annoyance. "But that doesn't matter now."

"Why? Honey, please sit down. You're making me dizzy and you're not making any sense."

"Remus, I lost track of time. We have to go home. I have to make sure everything's okay."

"Why?" he asked again, then he paused. "Wait a minute. This is about the future, isn't it? What's supposed to happen in November? Is it bad?"

Hermione immediately felt bad. She could see the beginning of panic in Remus' eyes. "No, nothing bad happens in November, quite the contrary."

"Then what?" asked Remus.

Hermione gave him a small smile. "Lily's pregnant."

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A/N: Grumbling all the while, he made sure the spines of each book were lined up with the edge of the bookshelf, just like Hermione liked it.

I have to confess, this is the way I must have my books. I couldn't resist including it in the story.

Okay, I know this is an unforgivably short chapter, especially considering how long I made you wait for it, but here it is and hopefully the last line made the wait worth it.


	49. Chapter 49

"What do you mean you're leaving?" asked Snape angrily.

"There's something we need to check on at home," said Hermione. "You're welcome to stay here until you have to be back."

"And you can't owl home like a normal person?" he questioned.

"This is something that needs a face to face," replied Hermione.

"Hermione, need I remind you that we don't know when I'll be able to get away again. You can't just leave."

"I have to," said Hermione.

"Why?" demanded Snape.

Hermione paused. She wasn't exactly sure why she was feeling this desperate need to check on Lily. She just knew that she had to. "Because I do," answered Hermione.

"If you can't do this job anymore then maybe Dumbledore should replace you," said Snape, and Hermione heard the underlying threat.

"You do what you have to do, Severus," she replied quietly. "Remus and I will be leaving."

Remus entered the room, with a bag slung around his shoulder. "Ready?" he asked.

Hermione nodded.

"No problems, I trust," he said, looking directly at Snape.

"Nope," said Hermione quickly. "Let's go." They were heading about a half mile away from the house, just beyond the apparition wards and then they were going to apparate directly to Godric's Hollow.

"Remember," said Hermione. "Not a word about Lily's pregnancy. She probably doesn't even know she's pregnant yet."

"How can you be so sure?" asked Remus.

"Simple math," she replied. "Harry was born at the end of July, which means she has to be pregnant now."

"I suppose so," agreed Remus. "Not that I mind, but why do you have to see her? You know everything will be okay with the pregnancy."

"No, I don't," she said. "I've changed things, a lot of things. I have to make sure she carries Harry to term." Hermione paused and got a far off look on her face.

"What?" questioned Remus wearily.

Hermione smiled widely. "Molly Weasley's pregnant too, over four months."

Remus paused. "What about you, or uhh, your mum?"

Hermione smiled a little uncomfortably. "Technically my birthday was a month and a half ago."

Remus stared at her open mouthed. "Your birthday or your Birth Day?"

"Both."

"You mean there are two of you, now."

She nodded.

"Whoa," breathed Remus. "That's a bit much to take in."

"Tell me about it."

Remus looked around. "I think we've gone far enough," he said.

"Huh?"

"We can apparate now," said Remus. "Ready?"

Hermione nodded. "See you there," she said and apparated. Seeing the Potter's house brought a wide grin to Hermione's face. She hadn't seen them in months and she suddenly realized how much she missed them. Remus was watching her, seeing a peacefulness settle over her face, and he felt a rush of affection for his wife. She knocked on the front door and waited. In less than a minute it was flung open by Lily.

She stared in shock at her guests and then threw her arms around Hermione. "You're here?" she cried. "Remus, you did it. You brought her home. Oh I missed you so much." She pulled away. "James," she shouted. "James, come quick."

James came running from somewhere in the house. "Lily, what on earth," he said and then stopped short. "Hermione?"

"Hi," she laughed.

James approached and gave her a tight hug. "I'm so glad to see you," he said. "We were so worried."

"I'm fine," she said. "I'm so happy to see you too."

"Are you really?" he asked.

"Of course, James. I've missed you so much," she said.

"We've missed you too." He released Hermione and ushered her into the house. "Hi Remus," he said, greeting his best friend.

"Hey James," replied Remus.

"James, floo over to Sirius' apartment and make him come over," commanded Lily. "I'm going to make dinner for our family."

"Okay," agreed James. "Remus, why don't you come with me?" The boys left and Hermione went to help Lily prepare dinner.

"So how are you feeling?" asked Hermione as nonchalantly as she could.

"Never better," said Lily. "You know, despite all the madness surrounding us, I've never been happier."

"That's good," Hermione smiled.

"Yeah, I love being married," said Lily. "I mean it was hard at first, especially since we lost James' parents so early in our marriage."

"How's he doing with that?" asked Hermione.

"Better," said Lily. "We both still miss them so much, but it doesn't seem to hurt as much as it did."

"I miss them too," said Hermione, feeling a bit choked up. "They were so wonderful to me. They treated me like a daughter."

"They were like that," agreed Lily. "They sort of took in people who needed them. But anyway, what about you? How are you doing?"

"Really well," said Hermione.

"How have you been keeping yourself busy?" asked Lily.

"With work, nothing very interesting," she said evasively.

"Lily," called James from somewhere in the house.

"In the kitchen," she yelled back.

Hermione turned and waited. Within a few seconds the boys entered the kitchen. Hermione rushed forward and into Sirius' arms. He held her tightly for a long time.

Sirius let her go and held her at arms length. "Don't you ever do that again," he said sharply.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise.

"I mean it, Hermione," said Sirius. "Don't ever disappear like that again. You have no idea what we went through."

"Sirius," began James.

"Promise me," he demanded, ignoring James.

"I promise," said Hermione quietly. "And I'm sorry."

Sirius nodded once and released her. "What's for dinner, Lily?" Everyone laughed.

"Why don't we go sit down," said Lily. They all went to sit, but Sirius stopped Hermione.

"I want to talk to you," he said.

"Okay, now?" she asked.

"No, later," said Sirius. "Alone, after dinner."

"Okay," said Hermione, hesitating a bit.

"Guys," called Lily. "Come on and eat."

They enjoyed one of the happiest dinners they had ever had. Everybody felt like they were home. When they finished eating, Remus cleared his throat and stood. "I have an announcement to make." He looked at Hermione who smiled and took his hand.

James, Sirius, and Lily looked at Remus. "Well, what is it?" asked Sirius.

"Actually, Hermione and I have an announcement," said Remus. He tugged Hermione to her feet and she started giggling.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked with a smile.

"Nothing," she giggled. "Go on, tell them."

He turned back to his friends and took a deep breath. "Hermione and I got married a few days ago." Hermione held out her hand and showed off her wedding ring as proof.

There was dead silence around the table. Hermione leaned close to her husband and whispered. "I think they're in shock."

"Oh my God," laughed Lily. "That's wonderful."

James stood and clapped Remus on the back, then hugged Hermione. "Congratulations, you two," he said.

Sirius stood as well and hugged both of them. "Congratulations," he said. "I know you both will be very happy."

"Thank you," said Remus. "I'll do my best to make sure that happens."

Lily sat back in her chair. "Now all we have to do is find Sirius a girl and we'll just be three old married couples."

"Think again," said Sirius. "I will be a bachelor for life."

"You just say that because you haven't met the right girl," insisted Lily.

"You're probably right," he replied softly, glancing over at Hermione.

Lily yawned suddenly. "Oh man, I'm so tired lately," she sighed. "I think I'll just get the guest room ready for you guys," she said, standing. "Sirius, do you want to stay?"

He stood. "No, I'm going to get back to my place. But I'll come over in the morning for breakfast," he said with a smile.

"Goodnight, Sirius," said Lily, rolling her eyes.

"Night, Lil," he replied.

"James, do you think I could talk to you for a few minutes?" Remus asked suddenly.

"Yeah, sure," James replied. "We'll see you tomorrow morning, Sirius."

"Night," said Sirius. "Oh and Remus, I'm glad you're home."

"Me too," said Remus. "Night."

Once everyone had cleared the room, Sirius turned to Hermione. "Want to come outside for a few minutes?" She nodded and followed him out.

"It's beautiful tonight," she said, breathing in the chilly fall air. Then she shivered. "But cold," she added.

Sirius stepped behind her and rubbed her shoulders. She stiffened slightly at his touch. "What did you want to talk about, Sirius?" she asked quietly.

Sirius felt her tension and dropped his hands to his sides. "There's something I need to know," he said.

"What?"

"Why did you leave?" he asked.

Hermione didn't answer right away so he continued.

"I can't forget what our last conversation was about," he said. "I said awful things to you. It would serve me right if you never forgave me. For months all I could see every night before I went to bed was your face. I never saw so much hurt in it before and I did that."

"No, Sirius," said Hermione. "You're not responsible for me leaving."

"Hermione, I accused you of being a traitor."

Hermione flinched at the memory. "You didn't know."

"That's no excuse. If you were meeting with bloody Voldemort I should have given you the benefit of the doubt."

"Sirius, it wasn't the only reason I left. I needed some distance from everything. It doesn't say much about my character, but I just couldn't stay here and watch Remus die and I did think he was going to die," she said and took a deep breath. "If he had it would have been my fault. I just couldn't watch it happen. I am so sorry that I made you worry so much, and James and Lily. It was selfish."

Sirius gazed at her, his heart full of affection. "If anyone has a right to be selfish once in a while, it's you."

Hermione put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He held her back and for a little while neither of them spoke. "You know," Sirius spoke up finally. "Once upon a time I fancied myself in love with you."

"I know," she said softly. "And now?"

"Well I'd be a fool to be in love with someone who was so obviously in love with someone else."

Hermione pulled away from him. "Sirius," she began. "You are so special to me and I love you. You, more than anyone, helped fill the whole in my heart that Ron and Harry left. You've watched out for me just like they did and you've supported the decisions I've made."

"And I always will," he said. "You know, I really am very happy for you and Remus. I've known him a long time and I've never seen him so content. You're the best thing that ever happened to him."

"He's everything to me," she said. They stood in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Sirius broke it.

"I better get home," he said. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay," she replied. "Good night, Sirius." She waited until he had apparated before returning to the house. Remus was the only one waiting for her.

"Did Sirius leave?" he asked immediately.

Hermione nodded. "Are you ready for bed?"

"So you're not going to tell me what that was all about?" he asked.

"We were just talking, Remus," she replied.

Remus stared at the floor. "He thinks he's in love with you," he said quietly.

"Maybe, once upon a time," she said, repeating Sirius' words to Remus. "But he'd be a fool to be in love with someone who was so obviously in love with someone else."

Remus looked up and smiled. Hermione went to him and put her arms around his neck. "When are you going to realize that you are the only man for me? How much convincing do you need?"

Remus kissed her lightly. "Maybe just a little more."

"Maybe I should do a little convincing tonight," she suggested.

He lifted her easily into his arms and she gasped, tightening her hold on him. "I definitely need some convincing tonight," he said, then carried her into the bedroom.

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The next morning, while they all sat and ate breakfast, Hermione received an owl. She read the note and then folded it and put it in her pocket.

"Dumbledore knows we're here," she announced.

"That rat," began Remus, but shut up quickly when Hermione threw him a cold stare. No one could know anything about Severus, not even their three closest friends.

"What's Dumbledore want?" asked Sirius at the same time Remus spoke.

"He wants to see me," replied Hermione. "Today."

"What about?" asked James.

Hermione shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "I guess I'll find out when I go to Hogwarts."

"Do you want me to come with you?" asked Remus.

"No, that's okay," replied Hermione. "He just wants to talk to me."

"I don't mind," said Remus.

"No, really it's not necessary," Hermione assured him. She pushed back her chair and stood. "I better get going. The note seemed urgent. I'll just take the floo."

Remus stood and followed her out of the room. "Hermione wait."

"Remus it's not a big deal. I'm sure Severus told him we left and he's just checking to make sure everything's all right."

"I'm going to come with you," he insisted. "Who knows what kind of spin Severus put on it."

"Fine," said Hermione, not wanting to argue. "But I'm going to talk to him and you are going to wait for me."

"Hermione," protested Remus.

"Sorry honey, but this is my problem. This is my assignment and I'm the one who decided to leave it. I'm not going to let Dumbledore think you had anything to do with that decision."

"I don't care. I'm going," he said stubbornly.

"Fine," said Hermione, feeling exasperated. "But you'll wait for me outside Dumbledore's office. I mean it, Remus," she hurried on when he started to protest. Then her eyes brightened. "Oooh, I have a great idea."

"What?" he asked warily.

She leaned in very close to him. "Why don't I meet you in the Room of Requirement? You do remember how to get there, don't you?"

He nodded. "All right," he agreed reluctantly. "But you better tell me everything that happened as soon as you get there."

"Trust me, honey. The last thing you'll want to talk about is Dumbledore when I get up there."

They flooed together to Hogwarts and Hermione went to her meeting with Dumbledore while Remus did his best to skirt the teachers and students all over the castle on his way to the Room of Requirements. He had no real desire to explain where he was going to anyone. He made it all the way upstairs without encountering anyone, one couldn't be friends with James and Sirius without picking up ways of getting through the castle undetected, and entered the Room of Requirements.

He wasn't sure what Hermione had in mind when she told him to head up to the Room of Requirements, but he was pretty sure it wasn't what he saw.

The room was empty except for one thing. In the center of the room was a particularly large mirror. The mirror was as high as the ceiling with a gold frame and was standing on two clawed feet. Remus stepped forward to examine the mirror more closely. Inscribed along the top of its frame was writing. As near as he could tell, the writing said, "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi."

Remus looked into the mirror and saw Hermione standing next to him. He turned quickly, but no one else was in the room with him. He turned back to the mirror, and stared in fascination. The image of Hermione was still there. They were standing together holding hands. After a few seconds other people began appearing in the mirror. First, his mother and father were there. They hugged and kissed both him and Hermione and then moved out of the frame. Next came James and Lily, followed by Sirius. They also greeted them warmly before moving away. One by one, people Remus knew approached his mirror image and greeted him including Professor Dumbledore and the Minister of Magic. Remus had never felt such acceptance in his life and he couldn't turn away from the image.

He wasn't even aware of the passage of time. He just kept staring into the mirror. He didn't notice when Hermione entered the room.

"I'm sorry I took so long," she was saying as she entered the room, "but Dumbledore…" she trailed off when she saw her surroundings. "Remus what is this? This wasn't exactly what I had in mind." She saw him staring into the tall mirror. "Remus?" she said as she moved closer.

Remus either didn't hear her or was ignoring her.

"Remus," she repeated, more forcefully this time. She touched his shoulder. "Remus, can you hear me?"

Finally, he turned toward her. His eyes had a far off look in them. "Hermione?"

"Remus, what are you doing?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

"Nothing," he said softly. "I was just waiting for you." He turned back to the mirror. "I found this."

Hermione scanned the mirror and felt nervous. She knew what she was looking at and she also knew Remus had been here alone too long, staring into it. She started tugging on his arm. "Remus, come away from the mirror."

"Hermione, you have to see this. It's amazing!" he said, ignoring her.

"No. Honey, please get away from it."

He resisted her and instead pulled her closer. "Look," he said. "Do you see us?"

Hermione didn't look into the mirror. She stared at her husband's transfixed face and wondered if she was going to have to get help to drag him away. Ron had told her about this mirror. He had told her about Harry's reaction to it and being Hermione she had gone to the library and read everything she could about the Mirror of Erised. Nothing she had read made her comfortable with her husband staring into it.

"Hermione, stop," said Remus as she tried to pull him away. He grabbed her and pulled her in front of the mirror. "Look," he insisted. "Do you see them all?"

Hermione, of course, didn't see what Remus saw. What she saw frightened and fascinated her all at once. "Remus please," she shouted, breaking the serene spell the room had cast.

Remus looked down at his wife and saw her face was very white. "Hermione, are you okay?" he asked in concern.

"No," she said, turning her face away from the mirror. "I want to go, please," she begged.

"Okay," he agreed reluctantly. He took one last long look into the mirror, before letting Hermione drag him away.

They were out of the castle before either of them spoke. "What was that mirror?" asked Remus. "I've never seen anything like it."

"It's called the Mirror of Erised," replied Hermione.

"Erised?" questioned Remus.

She nodded. "It's supposed to show you the deepest most desperate desire of your heart," she said. "It shows you the thing you desire more than anything else."

Remus nodded. "Wow," he whispered. "It was amazing. I feel like I could have stared into it forever."

"That's right," snapped Hermione. "It's not a toy. You could waste your life staring into that mirror."

Remus felt taken aback at her sudden sharp tone.

"Promise me you won't ever look into that mirror again," she demanded.

"Hermione, aren't you overreacting just a little bit?" Remus asked. "It's not that big a deal."

"You said you could stare into that mirror forever," she pointed out. "Wizards have, some have even gone mad staring into it. Promise you'll stay away from it."

"I promise," he said quickly, seeing how upset she was. Then a thought occurred to him. "What did you see?" he asked. "It certainly didn't look like you were enjoying it."

"I didn't see anything," she said.

"Come on, Hermione," he said playfully. "I'll tell you what I saw if you tell me what you saw." He waited. "If it helps, you were there with me," he said and he touched her cheek affectionately. "Was I there with you?"

She evaded his touch. "I think we've talked quite enough about that mirror. Why don't we go to Hogsmeade and do a little window shopping," she suggested and was already walking toward the village before Remus could answer.

Remus stared at her retreating back and suddenly he wasn't sure if he wanted an answer to his question.

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A/N: It has been a very long time since I've thanked any reviewers individually. It is nearly impossible to do so now, so I will just extend a very special thank you to everyone whose reviewed, whether it's been one time or 48. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


	50. Chapter 50

Hermione let the hot water stream over her. She dipped her head under the water, wetting her hair. She grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squeezed a small amount into her hand before rubbing it through her hair, creating a thick foam. Then she stepped back under the shower head and rinsed the shampoo from her hair.

She stayed in the shower for a long time, trying to ease the tension from her body. Her body ached from stress. She hadn't been able to get the image she had seen in the Mirror of Erised out of her mind. Her brain had been running on overdrive ever since.

A knock at the bathroom door broke her reverie. She turned off the water. "Yes?"

"Hermione, are you okay in there?" called her husband. "You've been in there for over half an hour."

"I'm coming out," she replied. She took a deep cleansing breath and stepped out of the shower. She dried herself and dressed quickly, then exited the bathroom. Remus was waiting for her.

"I'm done," she said, feeling slightly annoyed. Then she moved toward their room. Remus followed her. "Don't you have to use the bathroom?" she asked him.

"No," he replied. "I was just worried about you."

She rolled her eyes.

He saw and tried not to let it bother him. "You've been so quiet lately," he said. They were in their room now and he shut the door, closing them in. "I wish you would talk to me."

"I'm fine," she said shortly.

"You're not," he countered.

She turned around and faced him. "You're going to drive me crazy with your incessant worrying," she snapped. "You're my husband, not my father."

He threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Fine," he said. "I get it. You're independent. You can take care of yourself. You obviously don't need me." He turned to leave the room, but Hermione stopped him.

"I'm sorry," she said contritely. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just so tired all the time. It's making me crabby."

He put one hand against her forehead. "Maybe you're getting sick," he suggested. "You don't feel warm." He caressed her cheek. "Maybe I just haven't been taking proper care of you." He dipped his head down and kissed her lightly. As they always did, his kiss soon became more passionate. He prodded her back to their bed and laid her down. His body covered hers as he began his sensuous assault. Hermione melted into his kisses, reveling in each one. Then his hands began their eager exploration, tracing a hot path over her body. When one hand settled over her breast though, she moaned in pain.

"What is it," he asked, removing his hand.

She closed her eyes tiredly. "I'm just a little sore," she said apologetically.

He flushed, wondering if he had been a little too demanding of her attention. He rolled off her and pulled her close to him. She cuddled against his side. "I'm so tired," she said quietly.

Remus kissed the top of her head. "Rest, honey. Just rest."

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Someone was pounding on the front door. Sirius groaned and pulled the sheet over his head. He waited, hoping whoever it was would go away. Of course, they didn't.

When it became apparent to Sirius that they weren't going away, he threw off the sheet, stomped out of bed and went to answer the door. He threw it open and glared.

"Hi," said Hermione softly. "Did I wake you?"

Sirius stared at her and took a deep breath. "What's the matter? What are you doing here?"

"You're not busy, are you?" she asked.

Sirius leaned heavily against the door. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" he asked.

"It's not that early," she argued. She bit her bottom lip. "I really need someone to talk to," she said.

"What about your husband?" asked Sirius. "Can't you talk to him?"

"Right," said Hermione, feeling incredibly foolish for coming. "I'll just go then."

"No, wait," said Sirius throwing open the door all the way. "Come in."

Hermione hesitated a few seconds before entering the apartment.

"Just let me get dressed," said Sirius. He disappeared into his room and quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. When he returned to Hermione, she was sitting on the sofa, toying with a rectangular box. "So, what's up?" he asked.

"Remus and I went to Hogwarts yesterday," she said. "We're going to be staying in town for a little while. Dumbledore wants us here for now."

"That's good, isn't it?" asked Sirius.

She nodded. "I do want Remus to reconnect with his family, especially since…" she trailed off.

"Especially since what?" asked Sirius, suddenly nervous. Hermione was acting strangely. She seemed on edge and she was playing convulsively with the small box in her hand.

She looked up at him with large wet brown eyes. "Sirius, I think I'm pregnant," she said.

Sirius sat next to her, unable to think of any kind of intelligent response.

"I'm really scared," she said.

"Why?" he asked, somewhat perplexed. "You're married. Isn't this what you want?"

"We weren't trying to get pregnant," said Hermione. "It was an accident."

Sirius patted her back awkwardly. "Do you think Remus will be mad?" he asked.

"No, it's not that," she said quickly. "I actually think he'll be happy."

"Oh, then you don't want a baby," said Sirius.

"No," shouted Hermione. "It's not that either."

"Then what?" asked Sirius. "He'll want the baby. You want the baby. What's the problem?"

"Decree 47," she half whispered.

Sirius felt like a world class jerk. He hadn't even thought about decree 47. He knew that Hermione had probably not been able to think about anything but decree 47 since it was passed. It nearly prevented her from getting married in the first place.

"Maybe I'm getting all worked up for nothing," said Hermione. "I don't know for sure I'm pregnant."

Sirius raised one eyebrow. "Wait a minute," he said. "You haven't been to a healer yet?"

"No," she replied. "I was afraid to go."

Sirius nodded. He could understand that. "Well, why do you think you're pregnant? Have you missed your… um…" he colored with embarrassment.

"I'm a few months late," she said. "But I've been late before. I thought it was just stress."

Sirius cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Maybe you should talk to Lily. Isn't this kind of a girl thing?"

"No," said Hermione immediately. "I can't talk to Lily. I really wanted my mother, but…" she wiped the moisture from her eyes.

"Well, why do you think you're pregnant?" Sirius rushed on, hoping to avoid full on crying. "If you've been late before."

She smiled sheepishly. "I kind of saw myself in a mirror," she said.

"A mirror?" he questioned. He looked her up and down. "Are you showing already? I don't think you're showing," he said.

"No, not that kind of mirror, Sirius," said Hermione. "It's a magical mirror, The Mirror of Erised."

"The Mirror of Erised," repeated Sirius slowly. "I've heard of that," he said. "I don't think it would show you that you were pregnant."

"It didn't," admitted Hermione. "But I did see a little boy and he was with Remus and then I saw James and he was holding his own son."

"You saw James holding his son and Remus with a little boy," repeated Sirius.

"It was our little boy," said Hermione. "I know it was. And I couldn't stop thinking about it and then I started remembering that I've been so tired lately and a few days ago I was sick, it wasn't in the morning, it was after dinner, but it happened a few days in a row and I've been sore everywhere, so I bought a test, but I've been too nervous to take it." She took a deep breath.

"So you came here?" asked Sirius.

She nodded. "Was it stupid of me?" she asked.

"Don't you think this is something you should discuss with Remus?" he asked.

"I don't want him to know, just in case I'm not," she said. "But I don't want to do this alone either." She held up the box she had been toying with. "I bought a pregnancy test," she said. "Its muggle, but it will work."

Sirius sighed and stood. "No," he said.

"No what?" questioned Hermione.

"No you can't take it here," said Sirius. "Go home and talk to Remus."

Hermione stood. "But Sirius…"

"No, Hermione," he insisted. "I can't do this with you."

She looked down at her feet. "Okay," she said softly. "I'll go then."

Sirius rubbed his head tiredly. "I'm sorry."

"No," she said, dismissing him with a wave of her hand. "Forget it. You're right. I shouldn't have come." She gripped her box and moved toward the door. "I'll see you later."

Sirius watched her go and had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from calling her back. "Let her go, Sirius," he told himself once she was gone. "Let her go."

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Hermione sat on her bed holding the small pregnancy stick that was looking very blue. She tried to wait for Remus to return home, but not knowing was killing her so she took the test. The answer was too clear to deny. She was pregnant.

"Hey," said Remus in surprise, when he entered their room. "I didn't expect you to be back so soon."

"Umm, yeah," Hermione mumbled, discreetly hiding the pregnancy stick.

"Is something wrong, honey?" Remus asked.

Her shoulders sagged slightly. "I have to tell you something," she said softly.

"What's the matter?" he asked, kneeling in front of her. "Are you still feeling sick?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm fine," she said.

"Then what, what is it?"

Hermione looked into her husband's eyes. "I'm pregnant," she said pulling out the pregnancy stick. Remus sat heavily on the floor. Hermione watched him, waiting. After a few minutes, she said, "say something, please."

"A baby?" he questioned. "We're going to have a baby?"

She nodded.

"A baby?" he repeated.

Again she nodded. "What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "It's so…" he paused, searching for the right word. "Unexpected," he finished with a shrug.

"I know we didn't plan this," she said, almost apologetically.

"Are you sorry?" he asked.

"It's not that," she said. "It's just…" she trailed off.

"Just what?" he prompted.

"Decree 47," she replied simply.

"I won't let them come near you," said Remus fiercely. "You don't have to worry about that. I promised to love, honor, and protect you for the rest of my life. And I will. I'll protect you. So don't worry about the Ministry. I want to know if you're happy about being pregnant. Is this what you want?"

For a moment, Hermione let herself forget about the Ministry, Decree 47, and everything but her, Remus, and the baby. A tiny smile fell across her face. "I haven't really thought about it," she admitted.

Remus sat up again and put his arms lightly around his wife. "Think about it now," he said. He kissed her lightly and then settled one hand over her stomach. "What do you think about having a baby?"

"It's a little scary," she said.

"Yes," he acknowledged. "But also exciting."

"It would change everything," she said.

"I know," said Remus smiling and wrapping his arms tighter around her waist. "We'd get a house of our own, somewhere far from the city. We could go somewhere nobody knows us. We could leave England," he finished.

"You'd want to leave your friends and family?" questioned Hermione.

"You're my family. You and our son."

"Son?" laughed Hermione. "It's a boy, then."

Remus shrugged. "Or daughter," he said, then his eyes brightened. "Or one of both, maybe."

They laughed together and held each other tenderly. "So you're happy about this?" asked Hermione.

He nodded. "I am. I've always wanted a family of my own." He kissed her lightly. "We're going to have a baby," he said.

She nodded. "We're going to have a baby." They grinned at each other.

"Do you know what the best part of this is?" asked Remus.

Hermione shook her head. "What?"

"Our baby will grow up with James and Lily's baby," he replied.

Hermione smiled. Her baby would grow up with Harry. It was too wonderful to comprehend. For the first time all day she felt truly relaxed. She knew she'd done it. Lily and James were safe and they would stay safe. They would be there to raise Harry. They would all raise their children together.

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Hermione and Remus were cuddled together in the living room when Lily returned home. As soon as she saw them, she grinned. "What's going on, you two," she teased. They looked entirely too pleased with themselves.

"You want to tell her?" Remus asked Hermione.

Hermione smiled widely. "We're pregnant," she said.

Lily went pale and her jaw dropped. "Oh my God," she whispered.

Remus and Hermione laughed happily.

"You can't be," said Lily.

"That was my first reaction too," said Hermione. "But I am."

"No," continued Lily. "You don't understand. _I'm_ pregnant."

Remus looked down at his wife and then back to Lily. "It is possible for two women to be pregnant at the same time," he teased.

The look of bewilderment was so amusing on her face that both Hermione and Remus jumped up and enveloped her in a hug. "We're so happy for you," said Hermione.

Lily hugged them back, then pulled away suddenly. "Did James tell you?" she asked. "Because we agreed to keep it a secret for a while and it seems like you already knew."

"No," reassured Hermione. "James didn't tell us. We're very surprised." She and Remus shared a private smile.

"What's going on in here?" asked an amused voice from across the room.

The three friends broke apart and saw James and Sirius were watching them. Lily smiled mischievously. "Do you remember how worried you were about having one pregnant woman in the house?" she asked her husband. "How do you feel about having two?"

"Who else is pregnant?" asked Sirius.

"Who else is pregnant?" asked James.

"Lily's pregnant?" shouted Sirius in astonishment.

"Hermione's pregnant," said Remus to James and Sirius.

"Hermione's pregnant too," laughed James.

"Wait, wait, wait," shouted Sirius. Everybody shut up and stared at him. "Who the hell is pregnant now?" he asked.

"Me," said Hermione and Lily at the same time.

"Are you really, Hermione?" asked James.

She nodded and James came over and hugged her. "Congratulations," he said.

"Thank you," she replied. "And to you too." Suddenly everybody was hugging and laughing.

Sirius disappeared and returned shortly afterward with three glasses and a bottle of Ogden's Fire Whiskey. "None for the mom's to be," he said, pouring James and Remus glasses of whiskey and then himself. They toasted the girl's and then they all decided to go out to eat. Hermione didn't think she'd ever been happier.


	51. Chapter 51

Hermione was sitting quietly in bed, reading a pregnancy book and enjoying some quiet time when Remus came home. "Hey honey," she said, setting her book down and smiling up at him.

"Hi," he replied. His voice sounded tired. He climbed into bed next to her and kissed her cheek, then her belly.

"Long day?" she asked.

He nodded. Remus had been doing a lot of extra work for the Order lately. "Honey, I have to tell you something and I want you to promise not to get upset."

"What?" she asked tensely.

"That's not a happy, relaxed tone," he teased.

She gave him a pointed look. "I hate when people begin sentences the way you just did. You're guaranteed to tell me something that's going to make me upset. So you might as well just say it."

He sighed. "I'm going on a mission for the Order."

"What? Why?"

"I'm the only one available." He moved closer and put his arm around her. "I have to leave in a few days."

"How long will you be gone?"

He didn't want to answer.

She saw and frowned deeply. "Remus John Lupin, how long will you be gone?"

"Hermione," he sighed, hating the way she had said his name. "It won't be too long," he said, but she could tell he was lying.

"I don't want you to go," she said. "I don't think you should be away while I'm pregnant."

"I know and I don't want to, but Dumbledore needs me to do this. I'll be back way before the baby comes."

Hermione's eyes went wide and Remus knew he had said the wrong thing. "How long are you going to be gone," she insisted.

"A month or two," he replied reluctantly. "Maybe three."

"Three months," she shouted. "No, no no no."

"Hermione…" he began.

"No," she repeated. "I'm three months along now. You'll miss the entire second trimester."

"It's not a sure thing that I'll be gone for three months. It might only be one," reasoned Remus.

"And just where might you be going for one possibly three months?" she asked sarcastically.

"Dumbledore is sending Hagrid and I to the Giants."

"The Giants," exclaimed Hermione in alarm. "No, you can't."

"Voldemort is getting stronger and our forces are starting to dwindle. We have to have new allies."

Hermione shuddered, remembering how Hagrid had returned from his visit to the Giants. "There's no guarantee they'll join us," she said.

"I know," agreed Remus. "But we have to try."

Hermione knew it was true, but she wasn't giving up yet. "What if I went with you?" she suggested.

"No," he said immediately.

"Oh, so it's okay for you to risk your life, but not me," snapped Hermione. "Hagrid can't do magic and I'm better at Charms and Defense than you."

Remus laughed. "There's no way you're better at Defense than me. If I remember your history correctly, I'm the one who taught you."

"Yeah, in about fifteen years," she countered.

"There's no point arguing. You're pregnant and you're not going. Beside, Dumbledore needs you here. The bottom line is you're more necessary to him than I am. And you said it yourself. Hagrid can't do magic. He needs a wizard to accompany him. I'm the only member of the Order who won't be missed for a couple of months. We can't raise suspicions."

"Being separated for months isn't an option," insisted Hermione.

"It's done, Hermione. I've already agreed," responded Remus almost sadly.

A spark of anger flashed over Hermione. "Without discussing it with me," said Hermione.

Remus immediately became defensive. "We're both members of the Order. You know what that means."

"We're married. You shouldn't be making these kinds of decisions without me."

His shoulders slumped. "I don't want to fight," he said hollowly. "I'm leaving in three days. I'd rather leave on good terms with you."

"So that's it," she said. "You're leaving and I just have to accept it. I have to play the dutiful wife and wait for you to return."

"No," said Remus, his voice full of frustration. "I don't want it to be this way. I want you to understand that I have to feel useful. If there was anyone else who could be spared I wouldn't go. But you and I both know that there's no one."

Hermione turned away from him and tried to hide her face behind her hand. Remus could see she was crying and felt like the world's biggest jerk for making his pregnant wife cry. He put a hand on her back, but she jerked away from him.

"Honey, please don't cry."

"Don't leave and I won't cry," she said thickly.

"Hermione," he begged. "Please understand."

She got up off the bed angrily. "No," she said stubbornly. "I don't understand and I won't." She went to the door, opened it and slammed it behind her.

Remus counted to three before slowly following her. "Hermione," he called out, but there was no answer. "Hermione, c'mon, don't be like this."

"Remus," called James from the front of the house. "What happened?"

"Did you see Hermione?" he asked.

"She just left," replied James. "It looked like she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she just said she needed to take a walk."

Remus sighed and stared at the front door. He wanted to talk to her, but thought it might be best if she had some time to herself to process everything.

"What happened?" asked James.

Remus turned to his best friend. "I need a favor, James," he began.

"Sure, anything," replied James immediately.

Remus smiled. "Dumbledore's sending me on a mission for the Order in a few days. I need you to keep an eye on Hermione while I'm gone."

"Of course," said James. "You don't even have to ask."

"Thanks," said Remus. "I'm going to be gone for a little while."

"How long?" asked James.

"Maybe three months."

James whistled lowly. "No wonder she's upset," he said.

"Yeah," agreed Remus.

"Can I say something?" asked James carefully.

"Of course."

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Are you sure going away right now is the best thing?"

"There's no one else," said Remus. "You, better than anyone, know how things are. We're in trouble. Voldemort is getting too strong and if something doesn't turn the tide soon, we're all going to be in a lot of trouble."

"I know," said James. "Believe me, I know, but Remus," he paused, trying to find the right words. "You have to have priorities. Lily and this baby are my priorities. They come before everything."

"Hermione's my priority," said Remus defensively.

"She's pregnant and you're leaving for three months," countered James.

"I already heard this from her," said Remus. "I don't need to hear it from you too."

James put his hands in the air. "I'm not trying to lecture you, Remus."

Remus felt bad. "Listen James," he said, lowering his voice. "I know what you're saying. I had this argument with myself. But you have to understand. I am doing this for her and the baby. If we don't do something about Voldemort soon, there is a very real chance that our children will have no future whatsoever. Every decision that I make is for Hermione and our baby. Everything."

James nodded in understanding and clapped Remus on the shoulder. "I'll keep them safe while you're away," he said.

"Thank you, James," said Remus. "You're a good friend."

"The best," said James cheekily and the two friends laughed together.

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James, Lily, Remus, and Hermione sat around the kitchen table like they tried to do at least three times a week. It wasn't always easy to be together with their schedules, but it somehow seemed necessary to cling to familial traditions.

Usually dinner was a happy, relaxing time, but tonight everyone was tense.

"So," said Lily awkwardly. "How was everyone's day?"

There was a long pause before James cleared his throat. "Good, how was yours?"

"Good," replied Lily. She glanced across the table at Remus and Hermione and waited.

Hermione set her fork down and pushed her plate about an inch away from her. She had no appetite. Remus watched her furtively and wished she would look up, but she persisted in looking down at her plate, her mouth turned downward and her brow slightly wrinkled. He reached out and put his hand over the top of hers. Hermione pulled her hand away and set it in her lap. Then abruptly, she pushed her chair back and left the table.

Remus sighed and set his own fork down. Then, with an apologetic smile to James and Lily, he stood as well.

"Wait," said Lily. "Let me talk to her."

"I don't know if it will do any good," said Remus quietly.

Lily stood. "It can't hurt," she said with a small smile. She went to Hermione's room and knocked lightly on the door. There was no answer.

"Hermione, it's me Lily. Can I come in?" Lily waited and then the door slowly swung open. Lily slipped into the room and closed the door behind her.

"Hi," she said quietly.

Hermione looked up at her. "Would you let James go?" she asked immediately.

"Hermione, I…"

"There's no point beating around the bush. It's why you've come. You want me to accept this and send him on this suicide mission with my blessing."

"I do not," said Lily. "You're my best friend and I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

"Of course I'm not all right," shouted Hermione.

"Hermione, please," hushed Lily. "You can't get yourself all worked up."

Hermione stared at Lily, but she wasn't looking at her. "I think I've sacrificed enough," she said hollowly. "I shouldn't have to let him go." Her eyes focused on Lily. "You wouldn't let James go," she said almost accusingly.

"You're wrong," said Lily softly. "I do let him go, everyday."

Hermione started to shake her head, but Lily cut her off. "Everyday," she continued. "He goes out there and he fights. Being the wife of an Auror is so…" she searched for the word, but couldn't find it. "I wonder every morning when I kiss him goodbye if it's the last time I'll do it." She moved closer and put her hand on Hermione's arm. "You're not the only one who's been asked to sit home and wait."

Hermione began to cry and Lily gathered her into her arms. "He'll be fine," she reassured her. "I know he will."

"How?" gasped Hermione. "How do you know?"

"I know because no two people ever risked as much as the two of you have to be together. No couple ever traveled further or fought harder for love than the two of you." Lily stepped back and took Hermione's face in her hands. "Not even time could separate you from him."

Some time later, Hermione went in search of Remus. She found him at the edge of the woods, sitting quietly, alone. He heard her approach from behind, but didn't turn.

Hermione stepped closer and put her hand on his shoulder. "Remus," she said softly. He looked up at her expectantly.

"Promise me you'll come back as soon as you can," she said.

He stood and took both her hands in his. "I promise," he said readily.

"Promise you'll be careful."

He nodded. "I will."

"Promise…," she trailed off and hugged him tightly.

Remus closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the top of her head. He loved how she fit so neatly into his embrace, like a puzzle piece. He stroked her unruly mass of hair, twining one brown strand around his index finger.

"Tell me you love me," he said quietly.

"I love you," she replied.

"And you understand?"

She paused before answering. "I do."

"Thank you," he said. "Now promise me one thing."

She looked up into his eyes. "Yes?"

"Promise you won't put yourself or our baby in danger, no matter what happens."

She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his chest.

"Hermione," he prompted.

She shrugged, not lifting her head. "I'll do my best," she said into his chest.

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Remus was gone three days later. Hermione did all her crying in private and sent him off with a kiss and a smile on her face.

She spent the first few days moping around the house, but then in true Hermione fashion, she pulled herself together and started working. She threw herself into her work for the Order and even started a second job brewing potions for a mail order service.

James worried that she was doing too much, but Lily assured him that Hermione would be fine. Lily knew that Hermione needed something to distract her from worrying about Remus, neither one of them anticipated exactly how far she would go to distract herself.

"You did what?" shouted James

"Rented a flat," answered Hermione.

"Why?" asked James.

She laughed. "James, we can't live here forever. We need a place of our own for when the baby comes."

"You don't need to move out now? You're not even four months along."

"We'd have to go eventually, it might as well be now," she replied.

James frowned. "But I like you living here," he said sadly.

Hermione smiled and gave James a quick hug. He reminded her of Harry so strongly sometimes. "I know and that's why I need to leave now. I want to go before the welcome is worn out."

James turned serious. "I promised Remus I would take care of you while he was gone."

"I know," said Hermione.

"How can I watch over you if you live somewhere else?" asked James.

"I'm not leaving the country," Hermione reasoned. "You know I can't cook to save my life. I'll be over here for dinner all the time."

"It won't be the same," he pouted.

She hugged him again, this time holding on. "You knew this day would come eventually."

"I suppose," he said.

"You'll never know how much I've appreciated all you've done for Remus and I."

"You're my best friends," he said.

She nodded. "And you're mine."

Lily entered the room and smiled at her husband and Hermione. "Did you tell him?" she asked.

James pulled away from Hermione. "You mean you knew?" he accused his wife.

She nodded.

"And you think this is a good idea?" he asked incredulously.

"Well I wish she wouldn't go," admitted Lily. "But I understand her need for a home of her own for her family."

"Well I think it sucks," said James.

Lily moved to her husband and rubbed his shoulders. "I know, honey. But she'll be over all the time."

"Just do me a favor," said James.

"Anything," replied Hermione.

"Tell Remus I fought this all the way."

The girls laughed. "I promise," said Hermione.

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Hermione pulled the laundry from the dryer and dumped it into her basket. She lifted and carried it into the next room, but dropped it on the floor with a gasp. Both of her hands instinctively went to her abdomen. She had felt something, not pain, just a flutter. She stood very still and waited. She wasn't disappointed. In seconds, she felt the flutter again.

"Oh," she gasped. A slow smile spread across her face. It was the first time she had felt the baby move. She looked around her empty home and felt a pang of loneliness. Remus should have been here with her. They should have been experiencing this first together.

Hermione was interrupted from her reverie by a knock at the front door. She stepped over the fallen laundry and went to answer the door.

"Who is it?" she asked through the closed door.

"Hermione, please open the door," begged a desperate voice, a familiar voice.

She unlocked the door quickly and swung it open. "Severus," she exclaimed.

He looked pale and was breathing heavily. When Hermione opened the door, he rushed forward, pushing her back into the house and quickly closing the door.

"What are you doing?" asked Hermione in surprise.

"I had to see you, had to warn you," he said between gasps.

"Warn me?" questioned Hermione in alarm. "Warn me about what?"

"It's Remus," he explained. "He's in danger."

Hermione's eyes grew wide. "How do you know?"

"Voldemort knows where he is," said Severus. "He's going after him personally."

"Oh no," gasped Hermione. "I've got to warn him." Hermione rushed past him.

"Wait," he said, grasping her arm. "You can't go by yourself."

"Then come with me," she said.

"I can't," said Severus immediately. "I was barely able to get away to warn you. I might have even been followed."

"Oh my God," said Hermione, going completely still. "I can't believe you risked coming."

Severus didn't respond. "Just get some help. No matter how good you think you are, you're no match for Voldemort."

Hermione nodded. "I'll get James and Sirius," she said.

"I was thinking someone a little less," he paused. "Well, you know," he said disdainfully.

"Now is not the time," she snapped. "If you were followed, you shouldn't leave from here. Stay for a little while," she instructed. "Then take the floo to James's house and then get back. Hopefully, that will give you time to get back before you're missed. I'll tell James and Lily to expect you."

"Hermione, be careful," warned Severus.

She hugged him impulsively. "Thank you, Severus," she whispered. "I know what you risked." She released him without a look back and left the apartment.


	52. Chapter 52

Hermione brushed a few stray hairs angrily away from her forehead, but they stubbornly fell back into her face. She felt hot and sweaty and more than a little uncomfortable. She had been walking for hours and felt it in every limb. She paused in her forward motion and shrugged the pack off her back.

"You okay?" asked Sirius, secretly relieved that she had finally stopped to rest.

She nodded, not wasting energy on talking and searched her bag for her water bottle. She unscrewed the top and tipped half of its contents down her mouth. When her thirst had been diminished she took a breath and put the water bottle away.

She and Sirius sat together, catching their breath. "What do you say we let James and Lily catch up?" he asked.

"Okay," said Hermione. She had been setting an exhausting pace and was beginning to feel it in her body. They didn't have to wait too long. In a few minutes, James and Lily struggled over the dirt mound and collapsed next to Hermione and Sirius. Lily leaned heavily against her husband and closed her eyes.

"There has to be an easier way," gasped Lily. "We've been traveling for days."

"We're so close, I know we are," replied Hermione.

"I still don't see why we couldn't just fly to the Giant's encampment," said James.

"You know we can't risk being spotted and Voldemort will surely be watching the skies," replied Hermione.

"And there's no way we'd be able to get Hermione back onto a broom," teased Sirius, despite his exhaustion.

"I'd hit you if any of my muscles would cooperate," said Hermione. She took a few deep cleansing breaths and struggled to her feet.

Sirius looked up at her warily. "Hermione, how much longer do you intend to go on?"

"Until we find them," she said stubbornly, adjusting the pack on her pack.

He grabbed her arm and looked her straight in the eye. "We're lost," he said simply.

"No, we're not," she denied.

"We are, Hermione," piped up James. "Sirius and I knew it two hours ago."

"Then we'll find our way," insisted Hermione. She looked at everyone in turn. "I can do this by myself if I have to," she said quietly. She shrugged Sirius off and continued walking.

Lily struggled to her feet and began to follow her.

"Lily, where are you going?" asked James. "Didn't you hear what Sirius and I said?"

"I heard you," she said, slowing, but not stopping. "But I'm going wherever she leads."

"We're walking in circles?" Sirius argued. "We can't just follow her to the end of the earth. We'll never find him that way."

Lily whirled on them both. "Don't you ever say that again," she growled. "She will find him." She looked at her husband, "just like I would find you. Now get off your asses," she demanded, before stomping off after Hermione.

Hermione wasn't too far away. She waited for Lily to catch up. "Thanks," she said once Lily was in view.

"You heard?" asked Lily sheepishly.

Hermione nodded.

"They're scared," said Lily. "I know they hide it well, but…"

"I know they're scared," interrupted Hermione. "It's been three days and we haven't seen a trace of him. I know what they think we're going to find. I know that's why they don't want to go on."

"How are you doing?" asked Lily.

"I'm not thinking about anything but putting one foot in front of the other. I can't," she said, taking a deep breath. "If I do… If I stop…" tears welled up in her eyes.

"Come on you two," said Sirius from behind them. He approached Hermione and took her hand. "We can't stop," he said with a confident smile. Then he pulled her forward.

James took Lily's hand and followed.

For a short time, Hermione allowed Sirius to lead. She clung to his hand and even closed her eyes, knowing he would never let her stumble. The days had been so intense that she hadn't had a chance to stop and collect her thoughts.

After Snape had warned her Remus was in danger, she had immediately gone to her friends. They were all traveling within the hour. They knew their best chance of getting Remus and Hagrid out of there alive was to get to them before Voldemort did.

It was nearly night when suddenly Sirius stopped. Something had triggered his Auror senses and he pulled his wand out and raised it. The others followed quickly, listening and looking intently around them.

"What is it?" James risked whispering.

"I think we're being followed," Sirius replied, whispering so low they almost didn't hear him. "There, to the right," he said motioning almost imperceptibly.

"Stunners," said James, "on three." He raised his fist and counted off silently.

Just before he got to three, Sirius suddenly yelled, "watch out." He shoved Hermione hard and she fell to the floor. In almost the same instance, Hermione was shocked to hear, "Avarda Kedavra!"

Hermione didn't hesitate. She rolled, holding her wand out and tried to get cover. Already James and Sirius were shooting stunners in the direction the spell had come from. Hermione looked frantically, but she couldn't see Lily. Instant panic filled every pore. "Lily," screamed Hermione desperately.

"Hermione, stay down," yelled Sirius sharply, shooting another curse from his wand.

"Where's Lily," she called back. "I can't see her.

"Hermione, I'm here," she answered, breathlessly. "I'm okay."

"Would the two of you shut up," snapped James. "And stay down. Sirius, can you see anything?"

"No," Sirius replied. "You?"

There was a long pause and everyone strained to hear something in the silence. Then, like something out of a nightmare, Hermione felt the point of a wand in the small of her back. "Get up, girl," said the cold voice of Voldemort. "Not again," she groaned inwardly.

"Shit," yelled Sirius. "James." Both boys and Lily were instantly on their feet with their wands drawn. "Let her go, Voldemort," he demanded.

"Two times you've gotten in my way, girl," said Voldemort. "This is the third."

"As long as you keep coming after the people I love I'll keep getting in your way," said Hermione defiantly.

"Hermione, shut up," ordered Sirius.

"Listen to your friend, girl," said Voldemort.

"What do you want, Voldemort?" said James.

"I've already gotten what I came for. You four are just a minor annoyance."

Hermione stiffened. "If you hurt my husband," she began.

"The way I see things, Voldemort," said Sirius, cutting her off. "There are three of us pointing wands at only one of you. Let her go."

"That's brave talk, Black," said Voldemort. "Especially coming from people who know how far into their lives I can reach." He turned to James and Lily. "Your mother and father begged me for their lives," he taunted.

"Liar," growled James. Lily had to grab his arm in order to keep him from launching himself at Voldemort.

"As did your brother, Black," added Voldemort.

"Of that I have no doubt," answered Sirius, without emotion. "And trust us, the day will come when we even the score."

Voldemort ignored Sirius. "Your husband didn't beg," he said in a low voice, close to Hermione's ear. "I didn't give him the chance."

An inhuman rage filled Hermione and she whirled on Voldemort, clawing at his face. What occurred next happened so fast, Hermione wasn't sure how she avoided getting hurt. Someone yelled out, "Stupefy." Then she fell hard to the ground and several more voices yelled various curses. Then from out of nowhere a large tree trunk came hurtling toward Hermione and Voldemort. Hermione threw her arms over her head and screamed.

Then everything was quiet.

Hermione huddled on the ground whimpering. After a few seconds, something touched her shoulder. She reacted violently, swinging out. Her hand came in contact with someone's face and they fell backwards, landing hard on their back.

"Ow," he grunted. "Hermione."

She recognized that voice. She would recognize that voice in a crowd of voices. "Remus," she breathed, scrambling over to him.

"Did you have to hit me?" he groaned.

"He said you were dead," she cried, throwing herself over his body and hugging him.

He grunted when she bounced onto his chest. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"I thought you were dead," she said. She stroked his face and hair. "He said you were dead."

"He's a liar," said Remus. He cupped her face. "I'm right here. Don't cry."

"I can't help it," she sniffed. "I thought I'd lost you."

"You didn't," he assured her. "Now help me up."

"Remus, thank God," said James, coming up to them. "We were so worried." Lily and Sirius were close behind him.

"Where's Voldemort?" asked Remus. "Did he get away?"

James nodded. "I don't think he'll be coming back any time soon. Did you levitate that tree trunk and hurl it at him?" he asked. "That was some pretty impressive magic."

"That wasn't me," said Remus.

"Bloody hell. What are you lot doing out here?"

"Hagrid," gasped Lily.

"You four sure can land in a heap of trouble when you set yer minds to it," said Hagrid.

Remus looked away from his wife long enough to cast angry glares at his two best friends. The adrenaline from the fight had begun to wear off. "Do the two of you have any sense?" he asked.

Sirius grinned and looked at James. "That's thanks for coming all this way to save his butt." Already the quick encounter with Lord Voldemort was beginning to seem like a grand adventure.

James rolled his eyes. "We didn't have a choice. We had to come. Voldemort knew where you were. He was coming to stop you."

"Tell us something we didn't know," replied Remus.

"You knew?" asked Lily.

"Of course we knew," snapped Remus. "We've been hiding out in the woods for days."

"How did you know?" asked Hermione cautiously. She could see he was getting ready to lose his temper.

"That's not important," said Remus. He tucked his wand in his pocket and stood, pulling her up with him. "I seem to remember telling you to stay put and not try anything stupid."

"I had to come," she returned angrily.

"I'm glad you think that," said Remus. "We better hope Voldemort doesn't come back." He looked around the group, clearly aggravated. "Come on," he ordered. "We have to get moving. Every second we waste here adds to our danger. And I don't know about you two," he said addressing James and Sirius. "But I'd like to get all the pregnant women to safety." He took Hermione's wrist and led her forward.

"We're pregnant, not helpless," mumbled Lily, but low enough so Remus couldn't hear her.

"Did you get to the Giants then, Hagrid?" asked James, allowing Remus and Hermione to get a small distance ahead of them, before following.

"We did, not that it did a lot of good," said Hagrid.

"So they wouldn't join our side?" asked Sirius, feeling deflated.

"No," said Hagrid. "But they won't join up with Voldemort either. At least most of them won't."

"Why's that?" asked Lily.

"They're waitin' to see which side wins," replied Hagrid.

Up ahead, Remus and Hermione were walking in silence. She kept shooting glances at his face, but it was tight and clear of emotion. "Remus," she began cautiously.

"You should know that it is taking everything in me not scream at you for doing something so stupid. You could have been killed," said Remus through gritted teeth. "Are you sure you want to continue?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes and wrenched her hand free of his. "Don't take that tone with me, Remus Lupin. I am not a child."

"Well you sure couldn't tell by your actions," he snapped angrily.

"I already told you I had to come."

He laughed, but there was no joy in it. "You always say that."

"What was I suppose to do?" she asked. "Let Voldemort find you and kill you?"

"Better me than you," snapped Remus. "Besides, did it ever occur to you that I could take care of myself?" he asked.

She didn't answer.

"Your job right now is taking care of our child," he said. "Were you even thinking about the baby when you went running headlong into danger? Or Lily? What about your precious Harry?"

His last comment stung, but she wasn't about to let him guilt her. "Of course I thought about the baby. I thought, gee it would be a shame to raise him without a father," she said sarcastically. "I was thinking about our baby a hell of a lot more than you were. You're the one who abandoned us."

"Abandoned you," he yelled. "I didn't abandon you. We talked about this and you agreed…"

"You didn't give me any choice," she yelled back. "What could I do, but agree. Your bags were already packed."

"So you're the only one who gets to risk their life?" he asked. "Why are you constantly throwing yourself down one dangerous path after another? Do you get some kind of thrill out of it?"

"Oh yeah, it's a big thrill dodging curses and saving you all the time."

"If I remember correctly," said Remus. "You're the one who keeps getting captured by Death Eaters and Lord bloody Voldemort."

She rolled her eyes.

"Let's see," he continued. "There was that time at Hogwarts when Voldemort carried you out of Honeydukes."

"After putting a body binding curse on you," she interrupted.

"And then that time at James' house when Voldemort carried you away again."

"If I recall," she said, mimicking his tone. "You ended up in the cell right next to me."

"Don't even get me started," said Remus. "There was the ill conceived adventure to the Department of Mysteries, the secret meetings with Snape, in the middle of God knows where, getting thrown off a broom into a freezing lake, and let's not forget the first month you were here when you tried to take on six Slytherins all by yourself." His voice rose as he said each of the last three words.

"Are you finished?" she asked.

Remus stared at Hermione. Then with a loud suffering sigh his shoulders slumped and he took her into his arms. "You're going to be the death of me, Hermione," he sighed.

"Don't say that," she replied, resting her head on his shoulder. "It's not fair."

"Why couldn't you just stay put like I asked?" he moaned.

"I love you," she replied. "Isn't that enough of a reason."

"I…" he trailed off and pulled away from Hermione. "What was that?" he asked.

"What?" she said breathlessly, looking around. Their argument had gotten pretty loud and they hadn't exactly been paying attention to their surroundings.

Remus was staring at her midsection. "Your stomach moved," he said in shock.

"Oh," she laughed. "That. I'm getting used to it."

His head shot up and he looked into her face. "You're what?"

"Here, give me your hand," she said. She took his hand and placed it on her swollen belly. "There, did you feel it."

He nodded, unable to speak.

"It's the baby, Remus," she explained. "He's moving."

"The baby," he breathed. "Wow."

"I know," she said. "It happened for the first time a few days ago."

He looked into her face and she was surprised to see sadness. "I wish I had been there," he said sadly.

"Me too," she replied, but didn't add anything else.

Remus cupped her face in his hands and kissed her warmly. "Wow," he repeated. He held her close. "I'm sorry, honey."

She nodded. "Me too."

"I'm not going to take anymore away missions," he said. "I don't want to miss any more firsts."

"Thank you," said Hermione, hugging him tightly. "I hate being separated.

Remus put his arm around his wife's shoulders and they continued to walk.

"Are you two finished arguing?" called Sirius from behind them.

Remus and Hermione exchanged sheepish glances.

"Because if you are," continued Sirius. "I think now would be an excellent time to stop for the night."

"No," said Remus. "We should keep moving."

"It's late," insisted Sirius.

"I am tired," said Hermione softly. She wouldn't normally admit it, but now that she was touching Remus and knew he was safe, all the achy muscles and tension from the last few days that she had been keeping at bay were beginning to show themselves.

Remus hugged her closer, silently berating himself for not thinking of his wife. "All right," he answered Sirius. "Let's set up camp."

It was times like this when Hermione absolutely adored being a witch. Within half an hour camp was set up and they were all sitting around a roaring fire eating dinner. A few feet away were tents that revealed a master bedroom sized area, completely furnished, with bathroom facilities inside.

Hermione couldn't let Remus out of her sight. She kept him close through the making of camp and the preparation of dinner. Hermione barely finished dinner, before she was nodding off on hisshoulder.

"We should take shifts," said Remus quietly.

Sirius glanced first at Hermione and then over at his best friend who was lightly snoring open mouthed against his wife. "I'll take the first shift," he volunteered with a smirk.

"Thanks," said Remus. He rubbed Hermione's shoulder gently. "Come on, honey. Let's get some sleep."

She murmured something unintelligible and cuddled closer to him.

He smiled and carefully maneuvered, liftingher in his arms. He carried her into their tent and laid her down on the bed. The sudden softness of the comforter, woke Hermione.

"Where are we?" she asked sleepily, momentarily disoriented.

"We're going to bed," answered Remus softly. He kicked off his own shoes and then undid the lacings on Hermione's tennis shoes. He dropped her shoes to the floor and then unbuttoned her jeans and slowly pulled them down her legs. She half slept, half watched him as he prepared her for bed.

The night was only slightly chilly, but he left her in her T-shirt. He crawled in the bed next to her and she was immediately in his arms. He breathed in the heavenly sent of her hair and his body reacted to her. They hadn't been this close to each other in nearly six weeks and his body ached for her.

One hand roamed idly over her body, remembering all her curves and soft places. As a teenager he would never dream of taking advantage of a half conscious girl, but he wasn't a teenager anymore and she was his wife.

Even in her half sleeping state, she responded to his touch. She sighed and leaned into him, replying with a few tender caresses of her own.

Before he could get truly worked up and would need to wake her, he rested his searching hand on her midsection and fell into a contented sleep, feeling the small fluttering of their child, cocooned inside Hermione.


	53. Chapter 53

Hermione moved slowly across the flat carrying a small box.

"Hermione, what are you doing?" asked Remus. He rushed forward and took the box from her. "No lifting."

"It wasn't heavy," she protested. "It barely weighs five pounds."

"I don't care," said Remus. "Use your wand, no lifting."

"If you don't stop babying me, I'm not going to make it through the rest of this pregnancy," grumbled Hermione. "I have got to get everything put away before the baby's born."

"Uh oh," said Remus. "All the books warned me about this."

Hermione turned and put her hands on her hips. Remus couldn't help smirking. She looked so comical, standing there trying to look angry with her belly stretched out in front of her. "What did the books warn you about?" she asked.

"Nesting," said Remus with a shrug.

"That doesn't happen until you're ready to give birth," she said. "That's right," she continued. "I've read the same books you have."

"Well, you were always very advanced," he countered. "Never could do anything the way normal people do."

"Watch it," she warned.

"Hermione, the flat is fine. It looks great and we have months to go before the baby's room has to be ready. Relax."

"I'll relax when everything's ready," she said stubbornly. "We still have to pick colors for the baby's room and furniture, plus a million other things that keep occurring to me."

"Colors would be easier if we knew the sex," said Remus.

Hermione smiled. They had had this discussion a number of times already. "I want to be surprised," she said. "This is one of the few true surprises you ever get to have. Besides, all I really care about is that our baby is happy and healthy."

Remus suddenly turned serious. "You are getting all the care you need, aren't you?"

Hermione nodded. "I try to get up to see Madame Pomfrey as often as possible. But we do have to be careful."

Remus nodded in agreement. "I know."

Hermione moved closer and kissed his chin. "No worries. We are going to be happy if it kills us."

Remus smiled and rested his hands on Hermione's stomach. She smiled. He was constantly touching her there, but she never got tired of it. She placed her hands over his. "Remus, I…" She was interrupted by a noise at the window. A small brown owl was tapping patiently on the window.

"I'll get it," said Remus. He untied the tiny scroll attached owl and patted it on his head. The bird didn't immediately fly off as if it were waiting for a response. Remus quickly perused the letter.

"What is it?" asked Hermione.

"Nothing," said Remus crumbling the paper in his fist.

"Who?" she demanded.

"What?" questioned Remus, trying to sound innocent.

"Who is the letter from?" she repeated.

He sighed deeply. "Mum and Dad," he said shortly.

"Oh," said Hermione curiously. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

"They want to see us," he said.

"Us?" she questioned doubtfully.

"Me," conceded Remus.

"Can I see," she asked, holding out her hand.

Remus immediately handed it over to her. She read it quickly. "That's not so bad," she said. "They did say please."

Remus took the note back. "We're not going."

"Maybe we should," said Hermione, trying to sound casual. Remus stared at her. "Remus, come and sit with me." She led him to their couch and sat. "Regardless of what they've done, your parents love you. And seeing as I have no family in this time…"

"You have me," interrupted Remus.

She took his hand and kissed it. "I want more for our child than just us. I want him to have grandparents."

"I don't know, Hermione," said Remus reluctantly.

"Remus, if it wasn't for me, you'd have never fallen out with your parents. I would feel awful if you never spoke with them again."

Remus dropped his head into his hand.

Hermione smiled and put her arms around his neck. She could see he was weakening. "Please," she said, kissing the side of his face. "Please, please, please," she continued, punctuating each please with a kiss.

"Alright, alright," he shouted, laughing. "You win, you always win."

Hermione stood and brushed her hands together with a satisfied smile. "Make sure you send them a reply," she said, leaving the room.

Remus chuckled as he searched the room for a pen so he could do as his wife instructed.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Hermione smoothed her hair unnecessarily for about the hundredth time that day.

Remus took her hand into his own. "You look fine," he reassured her. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. They were standing in front of his parent's home and he was giving her a minute to take a breath before going in. "Ready?" he asked.

She nodded and he knocked. In less than a minute, the door opened. It was Remus' father. "Hello," he said warmly and stepped aside so they could enter the house.

"It's good to see you both. Your mum and I were so happy when…" he trailed off seeing Hermione's profile for the first time. "Oh my," he breathed out.

Hermione's hand instinctively went to her middle as if she could shield her baby of any negative thoughts.

"Remus, you should have wrote and told us," said his father.

"I wasn't sure how the news would be received," said Remus honestly. He stepped closer to his wife.

Mr. Lupin's hand covered his mouth in surprise, but Hermione could see the smile in his eyes. She smiled tentatively. "I'm nearly five months along."

"Congratulations," he said sincerely.

"Remus!" Mrs. Lupin came rushing into the room, her eyes filled with joy when she saw her son. She pulled him into a tight hug and held him tight. "We've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, mother," he said, when his mother finally released him.

Her eyes were wet and she beamed at him. "We weren't sure if you'd be coming alone or not."

Remus immediately tensed and clenched his teeth. "I'm married now, mother."

"I didn't mean it that way," she said immediately, apprehension filling her eyes. "I just wasn't sure. Hermione is of course welcome in our home."

Remus relaxed a little. "I'm really glad to hear that because we have some news. Hermione is, that is, we're having a baby."

Mrs. Lupin looked at Hermione for the first time. She was momentarily speechless. Then her mouth opened a few times before she said, "so soon? You've only been married…"

"Nearly five months," interrupted Remus. "Exactly as long as we've been pregnant."

"I see," chuckled Mr. Lupin.

"So there really is no point continuing here, if either of you can't accept this," said Remus firmly.

"Remus," said Hermione, under her breath, but he silenced her with a squeeze of his hand and waited for their answer.

"This is your home, Remus," said Mr. Lupin. "You and your family will always be welcome here."

"Is that how you feel too, mum?" questioned Remus.

"Of course," she said a bit breathlessly. She was still a bit stunned by the news that she would soon be a grandmother.

Remus truly smiled for the first time since entering his childhood home. "I'm really glad to hear it."

"Why don't we go sit down," said Mr. Lupin and they all followed him into the sitting room.

"I can't quite believe this," said Mrs. Lupin as soon as they were sitting. "You're going to be a daddy."

"We're very excited," said Hermione. "I mean, we didn't really plan to get pregnant so soon, but we are very happy."

"So you're due when? August?" asked Mr. Lupin.

"End of July," corrected Hermione.

"James and Lily are expecting too," added Remus. "Actually Lily and Hermione's due date are pretty close together."

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin said nothing. They seemed a little overwhelmed by all the news.

"And, and um… how is your other friend, Sirius?" asked Mrs. Lupin.

"He's well," said Hermione. "He and James have completed their Auror training."

"So soon?" questioned Mrs. Lupin in surprise.

"Given the state of things, the Ministry needs as many Aurors on the field as it can get," said Remus.

"I hope the two of you have been staying out of trouble at least," said Mrs. Lupin.

Remus and Hermione exchanged a quick sidelong glance, which his mother immediately caught. "What have you two done now?" she asked almost angrily.

"Nothing mum," said Remus, exasperated.

"Because you know you have to be extra careful now that you have a baby on the way. You can't be taking foolish risks."

"We're not," Hermione assured her.

"That is my first grandchild," said Mrs. Lupin, looking directly at Hermione.

Hermione nodded, but didn't speak. She wasn't quite sure how to interpret the look in Mrs. Lupin's eyes.

Everyone made polite conversation until dinner was ready and then they ate mostly in silence. Despite everyone's best efforts, there was still a tension in the air that wouldn't dissipate.

"Does anyone want any tea?" asked Mrs. Lupin when they had finished eating.

"That would be lovely," said Hermione. "Why don't I help you?"

"That's okay, dear," said Mrs. Lupin immediately.

"Actually," said Mr. Lupin, standing up. "Why don't both of you sit and relax. Remus and I will get the tea." He looked at his son. "Remus?"

"Sure," Remus said, immediately standing. Father and son went to the kitchen leaving the two women alone.

Hermione didn't know where to look. She settled for staring at her now empty plate.

"How has the pregnancy been going so far?" asked Mrs. Lupin, tentatively.

"Very well," answered Hermione.

"Are you getting any morning sickness?"

"Not really. There was a little during the first couple of months, but it really wasn't so bad. It's actually been surprisingly easy. Sometimes I think that's not such a good thing."

"Why?" asked Mrs. Lupin.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess I think, easy pregnancy, difficult labor."

Mrs. Lupin nodded sympathetically. "I've never heard anyone describe labor as easy." There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence. "Hermione, I hope you don't mind me saying this. I promised Robert I wouldn't bring it up tonight, but seeing how things stand…"

Hermione took a deep breath and waited.

"Remus is a very special boy. He loves unconditionally. It's a beautiful gift, but it also leaves him extremely vulnerable. I hope you'll always remember that."

"The thing is, Mrs. Lupin," Hermione began, clearing her throat. "Remus isn't a boy anymore. He hasn't been a boy for some time. And if loving unconditionally is a gift, then we both have it. I've never believed that love should come with conditions. You're either willing to risk feeling it or you're not." She paused, before continuing. "I think you're worried that I might actually love your son as much as you do."

"That's not true," said Mrs. Lupin quietly.

"I think it is," said Hermione. "And I think you're afraid that means there won't be a place for you in his life."

A small tear fell from Mrs. Lupin's eye.

"You couldn't be more wrong," she said. "I don't expect Remus to love me any less when the baby comes and I already see how much he loves him. Remus has a big heart. There's room for everyone."

Mrs. Lupin wiped the tears from her face. They sat in comfortable silence for a long while. "You said he," she said after a while.

"Huh?"

"You called the baby a he. Are you having a boy? Have you found out?"

"Oh," smiled Hermione. "No, we don't know. We want it to be a surprise. Although I do have the strongest feeling at times that it will be a boy."

"I got those same feelings when I was expecting Remus," replied Mrs. Lupin with a smile.

Meanwhile, inside the kitchen, Remus and his father were having an equally serious conversation.

"Remus, I would never presume to tell you how to live your life, but," began Mr. Lupin.

"That's good," said Remus, cutting him off. "Because so far, I'm doing a pretty good job."

"Of course you are, Remus," said his father. "You have a beautiful wife who obviously adores you and you're expecting a child. There's nothing more important than family. But I still worry."

"About what, dad?" asked Remus. "Hermione and I are very happy. We may not have a ton of money, but we're getting by. I would do anything for her and she feels the same about me."

"That's not what I worry about," said Mr. Lupin.

"Then what?" asked Remus in exasperation.

"It's just the current political climate," said Mr. Lupin.

"Hermione and I don't concern ourselves with that," said Remus.

"That much is obvious," said Mr. Lupin. "You've already disregarded two of the most serious laws that were recently enacted."

"We don't recognize those laws," said Remus. "And neither do any of our friends."

"That doesn't change the fact that they exist and pose an extreme threat to you and your family."

"What would you have me do, dad?" asked Remus, rhetorically. "If I followed those asinine laws, I might as well crawl under a rock and die. It's just about the only thing they don't forbid me to do. We weren't married under wizarding law. We had a muggle ceremony. It's a nice little loop hole."

"The pregnancy is another thing entirely, Remus," said his father gravely.

Remus took a step toward his father and said in a very low and dangerous voice. "I'll kill anyone who comes near her or our baby."

The two men stared at each other and Mr. Lupin was more than a little frightened by what he saw in his son's eyes. It was territorial and almost animal like. He had no doubt Remus meant exactly what he said.

"If they find out she's pregnant with your child," his father insisted.

"We're taking precautions," assured Remus, stepping back. He didn't want to have this conversation.

"You can only hide a pregnancy for so long."

"We're not trying to hide it," said Remus. "We're not shouting it from the rooftops, but we're not going to pretend it isn't happening either. What would be the point? Our child will be a witch or wizard and they will be a part of our society. He or she will grow up with other children from our world and when the time comes they will go to Hogwarts, just like I did."

"I want that to happen too," said Mr. Lupin. "This child will be my grandchild. But I also want you to be realistic."

"Trust me," said Remus. "Hermione and I know what could happen. We're very realistic."

"Have you considered the lycanthropy?" asked Mr. Lupin quietly.

Remus stood very still and didn't respond.

"There's a chance the baby will be born with it," he persisted.

"I don't want to talk about this," said Remus through gritted teeth.

"Have you discussed this with Hermione?" he asked in surprise, fearing the answer would be no.

"This isn't any of your business, dad," said Remus.

"Remus," scolded Mr. Lupin. "Son, you're not this irresponsible. You can't pretend like this isn't a possibility. You need to discuss this with your wife."

"Why?" said Remus, angrily, wrenching out of his father's grasp. "There's nothing we can do about it now. Why worry her?"

Mr. Lupin stared at his son. "Are you afraid she won't have the baby if she knows?" he questioned.

"Would you have had me if you knew what I'd become?" questioned Remus.

"Yes," said Mr. Lupin, without hesitating.

They were silent.

"Remus," continued Mr. Lupin after a minute. "Do you think Hermione doesn't know?" He smiled sadly. "She's just about the brightest witch I've ever met. She already knows."

Remus didn't answer. He tried not to think about the possibility that the baby might be a werewolf just like him. He never considered whether Hermione knew or not. She hadn't brought it up, so he just assumed she hadn't considered the possibility. But now that his father had said it, he realized that Hermione was too smart to not know. She would have pulled the first book on the subject out of the library at her first chance.

Remus felt a knot form in his stomach. If that was true, then she had been suffering with the worry all by herself, just like he had.

"Talk to her, son," said his father gently. "The worst thing that can happen to a marriage is that you stop talking."

Remus nodded.

"Now why don't we take this tea to the ladies? I'll bet they're wondering what's taking us so long."

The rest of the evening passed quickly and before they knew it Hermione and Remus were home getting ready for bed.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" asked Hermione, as she got undressed.

"Sure," said Remus. "I missed my parents. It was good to see them again." He had already stripped and thrown his clothes in the hamper. He was watching his wife change.

"Your mother wants us to come back again next week. She's still not sure about me, but at least she's trying."

"She didn't say anything, did she?" asked Remus, almost afraid of what the answer might be.

"We had a very polite conversation," was all Hermione would reply. She pulled her night shirt on and then found her brush and began brushing her hair.

"Here," said Remus, getting up. "Let me do that."

Hermione handed the brush to him and let him maneuver her onto the bed. He brushed her hair slowly. "You looked absolutely beautiful tonight," he said, kissing her behind her ear.

She smiled and leaned back against him.

He continued brushing her hair. "I think they're excited they're going to be grandparents," he continued.

"Definitely," she said. "I'm glad."

"Me too," he replied. His hand stilled mid brush. "Hermione, my father brought up something tonight that I think we should discuss."

"Hmm," she breathed tiredly.

"Something about the baby," Remus ventured.

"What about the baby?" she asked.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "About the lycanthropy."

Hermione tensed. "What about it?" she asked.

"We never talked about this," he said, wishing he hadn't brought the subject up.

"I didn't think you wanted to talk about it," she said.

"I don't," said Remus. "I don't want to think about it."

"Then let's not talk about it," she said. She took the brush from him and got up to put it away.

Remus sat and waited for her to return.

When she returned, there was a deep frown on her face. "I'm only going to say this once," she said. "Even if I knew for one hundred percent certainty that our baby would be a werewolf, I would still have him. I knew you were a werewolf and I still said I do. Why would I feel differently about the baby?"

Remus reached for her and she stepped willingly into his arms. From his sitting position, he was in perfect contact with her middle. He lifted her nightshirt and placed a kiss directly on her taut skin. Then he pushed her nightshirt upward even farther, following its progress with his lips until she was half naked in front of him. Then he pulled her to him, making her straddle his lap.

"I love you," he breathed between long languorous kisses.

Hermione closed her eyes, trying to imprint every detail of the moment to her memory. It was one of the truly perfect moments of her life.

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A/N: I have officially been writing this for one year. It's been fun and at times exhausting. I'm sorry it took so long to update this time, but I had to pause and regroup. Updates shouldn't take this long again, but I make no promises. Life can be crazy. Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter.


	54. Chapter 54

Hermione and Remus were walking through Diagon Alley shopping for baby supplies. It was the middle of June and she was well into her eighth month. Fortunately, they didn't have too much left to buy thanks to Remus' mother.

Mrs. Lupin had taken it upon herself to throw Hermione a baby shower. Since Hermione's only female friend was Lily, the party was mostly filled with friends of the Lupin's, but Hermione had been completely touched anyway.

Mrs. Lupin had gushed and fussed over her, not letting anyone know that there had ever been tension between them. Hermione knew she still didn't completely trust her, but she appreciated that she made such an effort.

Hermione and Remus stopped in front of a small toy shop and looked into the window. "Look at that doll," she gasped. "She's beautiful."

Remus smirked. "I thought you told my mum that you were convinced the baby was a boy."

"I am," said Hermione. "But a boy can have a doll."

"No son of mine is going to play with dolls," said Remus firmly.

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "Oh stop it," she said smacking his shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with a boy playing with a doll." She took his hand and pulled him into the shop, while he protested.

The noise level rose significantly when they entered the shop. Children were running around from one area to the next. Hermione pulled Remus to the doll display. She looked at the different dolls, all of whom were winking and waving at her, and Remus put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them slightly.

"It might be nice to have a little girl," he commented. "Especially if she looked just like you."

Hermione turned and smiled at him. "You're something else. You just don't want me to buy a doll just in case we're having a boy."

He laughed. "No, I was being serious. I'd love a little girl who looked just like you."

"Well," she said. "I suppose I wouldn't object to that, as long as she had your teeth."

"My teeth?" he questioned.

"Yep," she said. "I wouldn't condemn any child to my teeth."

"Your teeth are fine," said Remus.

"Yeah, now."

"I sense a story," laughed Remus.

"Let's just say I had some work done in fourth year and leave it at that," said Hermione.

"No, you have to tell," insisted Remus.

"No," she laughed, moving away from him.

"Come on, Hermione, you have to… Ooff…"

Hermione stood in open-mouthed shock as a haze of red plowed into Remus, sending him careening into one of the toy displays.

"Fred, George," shrieked a woman. "No!"

Hermione stared as two identical red heads scampered over Remus and started to run away. Hermione anticipated exactly where they were headed and her hands shot out grabbing their collars. They tried to squirm out of her reach, but she had a tight grip on them.

"Oh my goodness," said a ragged looking woman, coming up to them. "I am so sorry. Are you okay? Fred, George, be still."

Hermione looked into the kind eyes of Molly Weasley and nearly started crying and laughing all at the same time.

"Charlie, be a darling and help the man up," said Mrs. Weasley.

Hermione scanned the children surrounding Mrs. Weasley. She could see the boy she had called Charlie, he looked about eight, helping Remus to stand. Clutching onto her skirt was a small skinny boy who could be none other than four year old Percy and crying from his carriage was a very red faced Ron.

When she saw Ron, Hermione dropped her hold on the two year old twins. They scampered off and Mrs. Weasley immediately went after them, with Percy still clinging to her skirt. Hermione stepped closer to the carriage. It was like she was in a trance. She just automatically reached for him. She bit her bottom lip to keep from crying as she lifted the baby into her arms and rocked him gently. "Shh," she murmured.

"Hermione," said Remus forcefully. He was shocked that she had picked up the baby. It just wasn't something that was done, especially considering the current state of things.

Holding him was electric. She just kept rocking him, trying to stop him from crying. When one of his pudgy little fists shot out and grabbed her hair she winced. "Oh, Ron," she laughed. "Let go of my hair, you little imp."

"I am so sorry," said Mrs. Weasley, returning with the twins in her iron grip. "These two are completely uncontrollable in public."

Hermione turned to face Mrs. Weasley, who was shocked to see her baby in Hermione's arms. Hermione immediately saw the flash of fear in Mrs. Weasley's eyes and realized what she'd done. But somehow she couldn't let Ron go. "I… I'm sorry, he was crying. I just… I just thought," she stuttered.

Mrs. Weasley released her hold on the twins, and gave them a stern look before reaching for her child. Hermione had no choice but to hand him over. "Again, I am sorry the boys knocked your husband over," she said.

"It's really okay," said Remus, stepping up behind his wife. "No harm done."

"Thank you," said Mrs. Weasley. "Charlie, make sure you hold George's hand tight."

Charlie was staring up at Hermione. "How'd you know his name?" he asked.

Hermione turned red. "Uhh…"

Mrs. Weasley put Ron back into the carriage. At Charlie's words, she turned back to face Hermione, a look of extreme suspicion on her face.

"It was the red hair," supplied Remus quickly. "We know your uncles. They talk about their nephews a lot."

Mrs. Weasley immediately relaxed. "Are you friends of Gideon and Fabian?" she asked.

"We're acquainted," answered Remus.

"Oh," said Mrs. Weasley, but Fred started to sneak from her and she got distracted. "I'm sorry, I really should get the boys home."

"Can we help you?" asked Hermione eagerly.

"No," said Mrs. Weasley quickly. "But thank you." She rounded her boys up and they left the shop. Hermione waited a few seconds before going to the large picture window. She watched the Weasley's walk down Diagon Alley and disappear around a corner.

"Hermione," said Remus gently from behind her.

"Can we go home?" she asked.

There was a pause, then Remus took her hand and led her out of the store. Hermione didn't talk the entire way home. When they got to their flat, she wandered into the kitchen. Remus followed her and watched as she started making dinner.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No," she said quietly.

"Honey," he persisted, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Will you get that?" she asked.

Remus went to open the door. "Who is it?" he asked.

"James," came the reply.

Remus immediately opened the door. "Hi," he said cheerfully.

"Hey," said James. He had a very serious look on his face. "Is Hermione here?"

"She's in the kitchen," replied Remus. "Why?"

James handed a note over to him.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Summons from Dumbledore," said James.

Remus unfolded the note and read. While he was reading, Hermione came out of the kitchen. "Hey James," she greeted.

"This sounds serious," said Remus.

"What's that?" asked Hermione.

Remus handed the note to Hermione. "Do you know what he wants?" he asked.

"No clue," said James. "I only know he wants to see Lily and I, and the two of you as soon as possible at Hogwarts. Lily's going to meet us there. Can you get away now?"

Remus looked perplexed. "What's so important?"

"He didn't say," said James. "Can you come?" he persisted.

Remus looked at Hermione, who shrugged. "Sure," he said.

"Just give me a minute," said Hermione. She disappeared into the bathroom and splashed some water onto her face. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. When had she gotten so old, she wondered. She knew she had always been older than her age mentally, but she always thought she looked like a girl. The person staring at her from the mirror was definitely a woman. She tried laughing at herself for being silly. Seeing Ron had jarred her, but that was no reason to turn melodramatic. She dried her face with a towel and rejoined Remus and James.

"Ready?" questioned Remus.

She nodded. "Shall we take the floo?"

"Sure."

They were in Dumbledore's office within minutes. They were the first to arrive and not even Dumbledore was there, but they knew he wouldn't mind if they waited for him.

"James, will you give me a minute with Hermione?" requested Remus.

James looked slightly surprised, but didn't hesitate to give them some privacy.

Hermione smiled at her husband once they were alone. "I know what you're going to say," she began.

"I'm worried about you," he said.

"Don't be," she reassured him. "I'm fine."

"That baby," began Remus. "He's your Ron, isn't he?"

"He's my Ron," she confirmed with a smile.

"That had to be weird," said Remus.

She nodded. "I miss him," she said, her voice cracking a bit.

"Oh honey." Remus took her into his arms and held her close. "It's okay." Hermione rested her forehead on his shoulder and started to cry. Remus rubbed her back and let her cry.

"I just wish I could see them again," she sniffled, "the way I remember them. I never got to say goodbye and sometimes I just miss them so much."

"I understand," said Remus. "It's okay to feel that way. I wish you would…" he was cut off by the simultaneous arrival of Dumbledore and Lily.

They paused when they saw Hermione's tear stained face. "Are you okay, dear?" asked Dumbledore, his voice full of concern.

Hermione wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Yes," she sniffed. "Sorry, pregnancy hormones."

Dumbledore smiled sympathetically. "Tell me about it," laughed Lily. "I was a mess the other day. I thought James was going to throttle me for carrying on so much."

"I thought something was wrong," said James, clearly not able to see the humor in the situation yet. "She scared the crap out of me," James confided to Remus and Dumbledore. "She cried so much I thought she was going into early labor or something."

Lily at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"We're just waiting on two others," said Dumbledore, trying unsuccessfully to hide his mirth.

With perfect timing, the door to Dumbledore's office opened, admitting two other people. Dumbledore stood and greeted his former students. "Please sit," he said. "Hermione, Remus, James, Lily, this is Frank and Alice Longbottom. Frank, Alice, this is Remus and Hermione Lupin and James and Lily Potter."

They exchanged hello's and sat.

"Thank you everyone for coming on such short notice," began Dumbledore. "Something has come to my attention that allsix of you need to know. A few days ago I was interviewing someone for the post of Divination. The person I interviewed was a woman by the name of Sibyll Trelawney."

Hermione sat up straighter in her chair. "Trelawney?" she questioned.

Dumbledore shot Hermione a penetrating look, but didn't address her directly.

"I met her at the Hog's Head in Hogsmeade. To be honest, I was not impressed to begin with. However towards the end of our interview something happened that changed my mind. Miss Trelawney made a prediction, a rather serious prediction." Dumbledore paused, looking pained.

"Professor," interrupted James. "You can't seriously believe in that stuff. True seers are extremely rare."

"I do believe the prediction. It was specific and troubling," said Dumbledore seriously. "This isn't something any of us can afford to ignore."

"Well what did this Trelawney person say?" asked Frank Longbottom.

Dumbledore took a deep breath. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."

Alice Longbottom was the first to speak. "I don't understand. What does that mean?"

"This is insane," cried Lily. "You can't be taking this seriously."

Dumbledore held his hand up. "Please, I know this is extremely upsetting. The prophecy has officially been registered at the Ministry of Magic. I'm fortunate enough to have a friend in the Department of Mysteries and they were able to take care of the matter discreetly. Now, as for what it means, I've been able to deduce several things about the prophecy, which is why I've called you all here. First, the child born will be male. He'll be born at the end of July and his parents will have defied Voldemort three times. Those are the identifying bits of the prophecy."

"I'm not due until mid August," interrupted Alice.

"I realize that," said Dumbledore. "But it is still close enough to err on the side of caution and disclose the information to you."

"Oh God, James," gasped Lily. "We're having a boy. Oh my God." Lily started shaking like mad. "He's going to kill our baby."

"That's not going to happen, Lily," said James fiercely.

"Weren't you listening?" she shouted, almost hysterically. "Voldemort's going to have the power to kill him."

"That's not entirely accurate, Lily," said Dumbledore. "The exact wording is 'And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.'"

"So you're saying one of our children will have to kill Voldemort," stated James.

"Yes," replied Dumbledore.

"And how could a baby kill Voldemort?" asked Frank. "It would take years to train an adult to kill the Dark Lord. I always considered our best hope at getting that job done to be with you."

"Which baby?" asked Alice, starting to cry. "How will know which of our children will be the one?"

"Alice, its okay," murmured Frank. "It'll be okay, darling."

"You don't know that," cried Alice and Frank put his arm around her shoulders, trying to comfort her.

Throughout the entire conversation, neither Remus nor Hermione said a word. Remus was watching his wife, who was frozen in her seat. Her mouth parted and she whispered something, but Remus couldn't understand her.

He moved closer to her. "What was that, Hermione?" he asked softly.

Hermione turned and stared at Remus. "He never told us," she said, her voice strained.

"Who?"

Hermione looked around the room and shook her head. Then she stood. Everyone turned and stared at her. It was clear. Hermione was not handling the news well.

Remus stood with her. "Hermione," he ventured.

"You don't understand," she whispered frantically to her husband. "He never told me. If I had known I wouldn't have… I… Oh God."

Remus closed the gap between them. "Hermione, you have to calm down." He had seen her in this state before and it never ended well.

"How could he not tell us?" she shouted suddenly and Remus involuntarily had to take a step back. "We're his best friends. He should have trusted us."

"What is she going on about?" Frank asked James, staring at Hermione.

"Darling, you're not making any sense," said Remus. "I want you to sit and take a deep breath." He put his hand on her arm.

"I don't want to sit," she shouted at him.

Remus held onto her forcefully. "You need to calm down."

"Hermione," interrupted Dumbledore. "I know this is all very upsetting, but Remus is right, you must stay calm."

"How can I be calm after what I've done," she replied. "If only he had told me I would have never done it. I would have forced that damn door open and gone straight back."

Remus stared at her. "What are you saying?"

"I think I've…" Suddenly she gasped sharply.

"What is it?" asked Remus.

Hermione took a few deep breaths. "I…" she tried to start again, but her knees buckled.

Remus grabbed her under her arms, propping her up. "Hermione?"

She gripped his arms. "It hurts," she moaned.

"What hurts?" asked Remus.

Her hands went to her middle and she practically doubled over. "Something's wrong," she gasped. "It hurts."

"Hermione, it's going to be okay," said Lily, coming to her friend's side. "James, go and get help. Remus, help her to sit."

Remus lowered his wife to the floor. "Just breathe, darling. It's okay."

Hermione closed her eyes against the sudden pain. "Remus, I think the baby's coming," she gasped before fainting in his arms.

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A/N: Here's a quick update in honor of Remus Lupin's birthday, March 10th.


	55. Chapter 55

Hermione slowly drifted back to consciousness. Her head hurt and someone was shouting. She turned her head from side to side trying to figure out where she was. As far as she could tell she was lying in a bed, in someone's arms, in a sterile looking room. She didn't know where she was, but it definitely wasn't Hogwarts.

Suddenly she remembered what had happened and her hands flew to her stomach. Her belly was still large and round, but she couldn't feel any movement. Her hands pressed into her sides, pushing and prodding to the point of pain. Then to her great joy she felt the familiar movement. She uttered a strangled sort of gasp as she felt her child moving within her.

Now that she knew her baby was safe and still inside her, she let herself think back to the moments before her collapse in Dumbledore's office. Her blood ran cold as she remembered the chilling words of the prophecy. A baby boy born at the end of July would be responsible for ridding the wizarding world of the most evil wizard who had ever walked among them.

Hermione felt sick and angry and guilty all at once. Harry must have known about the Prophecy. How could he not have? Yet he had never told her or Ron. Probably because of some misguided attempt at protecting them. The worst part of it all was that she had been trying to save him from a life that he now seemed destined to have no matter what she did. She had risked everything for him.

She sunk into her pillow feeling despair threatening to overwhelm. She had been so damned arrogant. She actually believed she could save them all. Now, thanks to the prophecy, Voldemort wouldn't stop until he killed them all.

'No', she thought, 'she had made things much worse.' Not only were the Potters and Longbottoms doomed to their fate, but now she had put herself, Remus and their unborn child in the same danger. 'Terrible things happen to wizards who try to change time,' she thought bitterly to herself.

There was more shouting coming from outside the room she was in. She sat up and was about to try getting out of bed when the door burst opened. Sirius and James were pushing their way inside her room, being held off by two wizards dressed in what appeared to be Healer robes.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"You can't be in here," one of the Healer's shouted indignantly. "You haven't permission."

"We've got all the permission we need," Sirius snarled back, throwing the Healer off him and to the floor.

"Sirius," gasped Hermione.

"Come on, Hermione," he said reaching her bedside. "It's time to go."

"Go? Where? Why?" she felt confused and it was making her nervous. She had woken up alone in a strange room. Remus wasn't by her side and now James and Sirius were fighting Healer's and dragging her out of bed.

"Can you walk?" asked Sirius.

"Yes, of course." Then she hissed as her bare feet hit the cold floor. "What's going on, Sirius?" she demanded. "And where's Remus?"

"We've got to get you out of here," said James. He had pulled out his wand and was pointing it at the now still Healers, one of whom was still on the floor.

"That's enough," said Hermione. "I'm not going anywhere until you answer my questions."

"We're at St. Mungo's, Hermione," said Sirius brusquely. "Apparently you collapsed at Hogwarts and they had to bring you here. Remus thought you were going into early labor. When you all got here, they took you in right away. But thanks to decree 47, St. Mungo's is required to check and see if anyone they admit is on the half-breed's registration list. Your name popped up in connection with Remus and these bastards," he indicated the Healer's with a stabbing motion, "called the Ministry. We've got to get you out of here before they show up."

"What about the baby?" she asked anxiously. "What if something's wrong?"

"Mrs. Lupin, I can assure you that you must be monitored. We cannot guarantee the health of you or your child otherwise."

"Shut it," snapped James. "You can't guarantee the health of her child if she stays."

Hermione looked worried and indecisive, but the boys wouldn't allow her to go against them. They ushered her out of the room and into the hall.

"They'll not stop looking for her now that they know she carries a half breed's child," one of the Healer's tried to argue. "They will find…" James shut him up with a well aimed stunner.

"Where's Remus?" she asked frantically, as James and Sirius hurried her out of the building.

"Hogwarts," whispered Sirius to her, "where you'll be soon."

"It's the first place they'll look," she argued.

"They won't dare try anything while you're under Dumbledore's protection," said James. "It's the safest place for now. You really had us worried for a while," he added.

"Is the baby okay?" she asked anxiously. "Maybe I shouldn't leave, something could be wrong."

"No worries," said Sirius. "Madam Pomfrey will be waiting for you at Hogwarts. They were just trying to scare you back there. Everyone has lined up like good little soldiers for the Ministry," he said bitterly. "We have to end this war soon or our side won't be any different from Voldemort's."

Hermione went quiet. She didn't want to think about the war or Voldemort. She didn't want to think about anything.

Whether through luck or skill, James and Sirius managed to get them all out of St. Mungo's and back to Hogwarts without being stopped. Remus was waiting, looking frantic, as they arrived.

He rushed to his wife and took her into his arms. "Careful," she whispered, "the baby." He nodded, remembering himself and helped her to the hospital ward.

"Are you in pain?" he asked.

"No, not anymore," she replied. She hadn't felt a twinge. "The baby's moving, if that eases your mind at all," she confided.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "It does," he said. "Once they found out they wouldn't let me be with you. I was afraid you were losing the baby."

She shook her head, but she'd feel better once Madam Pomfrey took a look.

Madam Pomfrey was waiting for them in the hospital wing. She pushed everyone but Remus and Hermione from the room before examining her. When she finished she smiled widely at the pair of them. "Everything seems well," she reassured them. "Your water hasn't broken and you haven't begun labor as far as I can see."

"Then what happened?" asked Remus. "She passed out in my arms."

"I think what you experienced, Hermione, was a panic attack," explained Madam Pomfrey.

"I don't panic," said Hermione, feeling her cheeks heat up.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," clucked Madam Pomfrey. "Expectant mothers often get nervous. You're particularly stressed because of your circumstances and the war. It's not entirely surprising it happened."

"But the baby's okay?" asked Remus.

"Perfectly fine," assured Madam Pomfrey. "There's no reason you shouldn't go to full term, which would put you somewhere around the end of July. Then you'll have a beautiful baby boy who will consume all your time."

"A what?" gasped Remus and Hermione together.

Madam Pomfrey clapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I'd forgotten you didn't want to know."

Hermione started crying and Remus put his arms around her. Madam Pomfrey smiled, mistaking her tears of fear for joy and left them alone.

Hermione cried great heartbroken sobs into Remus' shirt. He pulled her from him so he could look into her face. "I know you're scared, but you have to calm down. This can't be good for you or the baby."

"You don't understand," she sobbed.

"Then tell me and make me understand," he replied.

"He never told me," she moaned.

"You said as much before you passed out," said Remus. "I'm not going to pretend I understood half of what you were saying, but I did get one thing loud and clear."

Remus' voice had taken a decided edge to it and it caused Hermione to stop crying and just sniffle.

"I know this has been a very shocking day for you. It's been one for me too," he continued. "But if you ever talk like that again…" he trailed off, not wanting to finish his thought.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"When are you going to let go of that part of your life?" he asked. "When am I going to be your priority?"

"I don't understand where this is coming from," she said. "You're my husband. Of course you're my priority."

"No, I'm not," he said simply, with only a small trace of bitterness laced in his voice. "At best, I'm your second priority. I had hoped now that we were having a baby it might be different, but after today…"

"Remus," she reached for him and he let her hold him close to her.

"I know you love me," he said quietly. "But it kills me when you say things like the ones you said today."

Hermione was truly confused. "What did I say?" she asked.

Remus stepped back and looked her in the eye, "that if you had known about the prophecy you would have gone straight back to your time."

Hermione stared at him. Had she said that? Judging by the look on his face, she must have. "I was upset."

He nodded. "I know. But that doesn't mean it wasn't the truth." He rushed on before she could interrupt. "You vowed until death do us part," he reminded her. "If it was just me, I might be able to share you, but now we're going to have a son. He deserves all of you, especially now."

"Our baby will be fine," she said. "It James and Lily and Harry we have to worry about."

"You don't know that," said Remus.

"Of course I do," she replied. "That prophecy was about Harry. Everything about it makes sense to me now. Which means that nothing I've done has made a bit of difference. That's why the door hasn't appeared," she explained. "I haven't completed my task. They're all still in danger."

"We're in danger," snapped Remus. He put his hands on her stomach. "Our baby is in danger."

"He's not," reasoned Hermione. "And neither is Frank and Alice's baby. It's Harry Voldemort will choose."

"You can't possibly guarantee that," said Remus. "You've changed everything. Voldemort keeps coming after you. You may have saved Harry's life at the expense of our son's."

Hermione paled and Remus could see he was finally getting through to her. "You and this baby mean everything to me," he said. "And I intend to do whatever is necessary to keep the two of you safe, even if that means keeping you safe from yourself."

Hermione felt torn. She would never put their child in danger, but she really believed there was no danger, at least not the danger Remus was afraid of. "What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means that if I have to, I'll take you and the baby away from here," he replied.

"Remus," she began, trying to reason with him. "You couldn't get us far enough away to be safe. It's not possible."

"I'll do what I have to," he said stubbornly.

Suddenly Hermione was angry. "Everything I love is here," she said. "I know you're scared about this prophecy, but you're just going to have to trust me."

They faced each other, neither speaking. For the first time, their wills were set opposite each other.

"I won't go," she said quietly. "I'm sorry, but I won't."

Remus turned and walked slowly out of the room.

"Remus," she called after. "Remus, please don't leave. Remus!"

He never turned around and Hermione was left in the room alone. Slowly she followed Remus out of the room. James, Lily, and Sirius were waiting outside of the room and Hermione had no doubt they'd heard her entire conversation with Remus.

They all had the decency to at least look guilty.

"We're having a boy," she said solemnly.

Lily gave her a small smile, but it was laced with sadness. Sirius and James just looked grim.

"We have to make some decisions," she continued. "We have to get the two of you someplace safe," she said to James and Lily.

"Hang on a minute, Hermione," said James. "We can't overreact. We're all in danger here. But right now the most pressing issue is you."

"I feel fine," she said, waving her hand dismissively.

"That's not what James means," said Sirius. "It won't be long before the Ministry comes to get you."

"I'd like to see them try," said Hermione.

Sirius grinned. This was the Hermione he loved. "That a girl." She glared at him which only caused him to grin wider.

"Where'd Remus go?" she asked.

James and Sirius looked at each other and shrugged. "I think he just needs a minute," said James.

"That's not what I asked?" snapped Hermione.

"Hermione," Lily cut in. "Remus just went for a bit of fresh air. He just needs some time to clear his head. You should let him."

"I'll make you a deal, Lily," said Hermione coldly. "I won't tell you how to deal with your husband if you don't tell me how to deal with mine." Hermione was angry, and worried, and scared all at the same time and she didn't feel like being nice to anyone right now.

Lily didn't respond. She just held her hands in front of her. Hermione glanced from her to James and then Sirius, all of whom were staring at her, waiting for something.

Without her permission, tears started to fall down her face. She didn't cry out loud or even try to brush them away. She stood there, feeling her face getting wetter and not knowing what to do about it.

Finally, Sirius took her in his arms and held her close. She stood passively in his embrace, accepting his comfort. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just don't know what to do. I hurt his feelings and I didn't mean to."

"He knows that," said Sirius. "He'll be fine, just give him a little bit of space."

"It's not just him. I've made a really big mess of everything and I don't know how to fix it."

"Maybe it's not your job to fix it," suggested Sirius.

"But it is my job," she said, trying to control her tears. "It's the only reason I'm here."

Sirius laughed loudly and Hermione stiffened in his arms. "No it's not," he laughed.

She pushed him away. "It's not funny."

Sirius held her arms. "Is that what you think?" he demanded.

"It's what I know," she said.

"You're blind then," said Sirius. "If you can't see that you came for Remus then I don't know what to tell you."

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Remus walked slowly along the edge of the lake, just thinking. His head hurt with all the information that had been pushed into it in the last hours. They were having a boy. Part of him wanted to fly at the news. He was going to have a son. But what should have been the best news of his life was tainted. From the moment of his birth, his son might be marked. It was too scary to think about.

Suddenly, Remus felt very young. How was it possible for a twenty year old to be responsible for two people, especially when one of those people kept throwing herself headlong into danger?

Hermione. The mere idea of her sent his mind spinning in a million different directions. She'd had this affect on him since day one. He knew she loved him. They'd been through too much for him to doubt it. But she was still so tied to her past and he hated it. God help him, but he hated having to share her with Harry and Ron and one of them wasn't even born yet. And he hated the idea that one day she might choose them over him.

He was kicking rocks into the lake glumly with his fists shoved deep into his pockets, when he noticed the figure approaching him. Even from the distance, he knew it was Hermione. He stood and waited for her to come to him.

"May I join you?" she asked.

"Of course," he said immediately.

She reached for his hand and he gave it to her, then they continued his walk around the lake. They walked in a kind of content silence for a long time.

"Remus," Hermione hesitated.

"Yes, darling?"

She stopped, wrapped her other hand around his and brought his hand to her lips. "I think I know the reason you're upset. And I don't think it has anything to do with what happened today." She waited. "You know that I love you, don't you?"

He nodded.

"Because it would just kill me if you thought I didn't," she insisted.

"Hermione," he interrupted. "I know you love me, I just…" he trailed off.

"I will never go back," she declared. "Do you understand? I would never abandon you or our son."

Remus just stared at her. Then he wrapped her in his arms and held her so tight she thought he was trying to come through her. He hadn't realized how much he needed to hear her say it until she did.

"How could you think I would go back now?" she asked. "We're married. That means forever for me."

"You never said," he murmured into her hair. "I wasn't sure."

She squeezed him tighter. "Are you sure now?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

"I'm sorry I ever gave you a reason," she replied.

"Let's go back inside," he said, leading her back to the castle.

"No," she resisted. "Not yet. I want to stay out here a bit longer."

"Hermione, you've had a long day. We both have. And it's nearly night. We should get back."

"Okay," she agreed. "It looks like we'll be staying here for a little while."

"At least until I can get the wards up at our place," he said. "I'll get James and Sirius to help."

"Good," said Hermione. "There's still so much I have to do before the baby comes."

"He'll be here soon," Remus smiled.

"Before we know it," agreed Hermione. "We have less than a month to go."

"I'm ready," he said. "Are you?"

She nodded. "I can't wait to meet him."


	56. Chapter 56

Hermione had her eyes closed and was breathing very deeply. The contractions had started about two hours ago. This being her first pregnancy, she didn't realize what the pain was at first, but she soon caught on.

She hadn't told Remus yet. It would be the end of her peace when she did. Not that he didn't mean well, but he was driving her crazy. He had spent the last two weeks absolutely hovering over her, not allowing her to do so much as get a glass of water by herself. It had been cute at first, but now it was just plain irritating.

On top of her over attentive husband, Sirius had taken to coming around two or three times a day. He hovered between their house and Godric's Hollow acting as anxious as James and Remus were. He claimed he was just checking up on her and Lily, but Hermione knew Sirius was just as excited about becoming an uncle/godfather as the rest of them were about becoming parents.

As the contraction subsided, she took one last deep breath, straightened and exited the room. Remus was lounging in the living room, reading. When he spotted her he lowered his book.

"Did you want to go out and get something to eat tonight?" he asked. "Once the baby comes, who knows when we'll be able to again?"

"Umm," Hermione hesitated. "No, I don't think we should go out tonight."

"Why?" he asked.

"No reason," she said slowly. "I'd just rather stick close to home. I'll make something."

"Okay," he agreed with a shrug and returned to his book.

Hermione glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only four, much too early for dinner, but she figured she better start so they could eat early and get to Hogwarts.

Seeing as how St. Mungo's had their child marked as a half breed, their only option was having the baby in a secure place where the Ministry couldn't interfere. Dumbledore had been the one to suggest the hospital wing at Hogwarts. The students would be out for the summer holidays so there wouldn't be anyone there and Madam Pomfrey was on call twenty-four hours a day, seeing as how she lived there. Hermione had been more than a little envious of Lily's ability to have an uncomplicated labor. Hermione's one consolation was that the full moon had been a week ago. Remus was guaranteed to be there for the birth.

Hermione was in the kitchen trying to decide what to make for dinner when the next contraction hit. She gripped the counter and bent her head, panting against the pain.

"You're in labor!" came an accusing voice from just a few feet away.

Hermione jumped. "Damn it, Remus. You scared me," she yelled back, louder than she meant to because the contraction was still rolling through her.

"Well why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Can we put this conversation on hold for two minutes while I breathe through this contraction?" she snapped back, still panting hard.

Remus immediately went to her side and rubbed her back gently, holding out his hand for her to squeeze. She took his hand gratefully. "Thanks," she breathed, once the contraction subsided.

He led her to a chair and made her sit. "How long have you been in labor?" he asked.

"Not long," she replied.

He gave her a pointed look.

"Really," she said.

"Hermione," he challenged her.

She sighed. "A couple of hours," she said reluctantly.

"A couple of hours?" he yelled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," she whined. "I knew you'd do this."

"Do what?" he asked defensively.

"Baby me," she replied.

"I'm not babying you," he argued.

"Not yet," she muttered, looking away. He was silent and after a little bit she looked up. Remus had a huge grin plastered to his face. "What?" she asked, trying to keep the annoyance from her voice.

"You're in labor," he said. He leaned down and kissed her. "And I love you."

Hermione started to laugh. She put her hand on his cheek. "I love you too."

"Should we get to Hogwarts then?" he asked.

"No," she said. "Not yet. We still have time. I want to share this with just you for now."

"Are you sure?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes," she assured him. "Didn't you read those books I gave you? The first stage of labor can last for hours. I don't want to spend all that time at Hogwarts."

Remus opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "I'm going to go and take a shower. Why don't you fix yourself something to eat. We're going to have a very long night."

An hour later they were both sitting on the couch. Remus was holding Hermione's hand and timing her latest contraction.

"Wow," she breathed. "That was a good one. I think it's time to go now."

Remus looked visibly relieved. "Stay here. I'll get your bag." He was back within minutes. "Let's go."

The flooed directly to Hogwarts. Dumbledore was waiting.

"It's time, Professor," said Remus.

"I see that," he said gravely. "Let's get Hermione to the hospital wing." He helped Remus lead Hermione to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was already there. While she helped get Hermione changed into a hospital gown and settled in bed, Dumbledore pulled Remus outside.

"There's something you need to know," said Dumbledore. He was gravely serious.

"What is it?" asked Remus, apprehensively.

"The Ministry wants to take Hermione and your baby into custody."

Remus ran a hand through his hair. "Why can't they leave us alone? We're not hurting anyone. I don't understand what they're so afraid of."

Dumbledore put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Right now, the Ministry is charging Hermione with violating decree 47. We only need to hold the Ministry off until after the next fool moon. If your son isn't a werewolf, the Ministry won't care what becomes of him or Hermione."

"And if he is?" questioned Remus.

"For now, we'll hope for the best," said Dumbledore.

"Hermione doesn't need to know any of this," said Remus unnecessarily.

"Of course," agreed Dumbledore readily. "Now go back and be with your wife."

Remus turned to go back into the hospital wing then paused. "Thank you, Professor, for everything."

"Remus, where did you go?" asked Hermione when he returned.

"Just outside," said Remus. "I wanted to get my head together."

She laughed. "When is your head ever 'not together'?" Suddenly another contraction hit her and she tensed visibly.

"Ask me in another couple of hours," he said taking her hand. He murmured soft words of reassurance.

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"I can't do this," whimpered Hermione several hours later.

"Yes you can, honey," Remus reassured her, brushing the hair from her forehead.

"No, I can't. It hurts," she moaned.

"Hermione, you're almost there," said Madam Pomfrey. "Just give me another good push. Ten seconds," she commanded. "Here we go."

As Madam Pomfrey counted down from ten, Hermione bore down. "You're doing so good, honey," Remus cheered her on.

At the end of ten seconds, Hermione sagged back into the bed. She was breathing heavily and was so tired. "How much longer?"

"Not long," Madam Pomfrey assured her. "He's starting to crown now."

"Did you hear that, Hermione?" asked Remus excitedly.

"Of course I heard it," she snapped. "I'm not deaf."

"Okay, Hermione. It's time to push again," said Madam Pomfrey.

Hermione closed her eyes. This was hard, harder than she had expected. She wasn't sure how much longer she could continue. "It's been so long. Why won't he come?"

Madam Pomfrey chuckled. "Every first time mother says that," she reassured Hermione. "Now come on. No more stalling. It's time to push again. Ten seconds, here we go."

Remus sat directly behind her, supporting her back as she began pushing again.

"He's coming," announce Madam Pomfrey. "That's it Hermione. Keep pushing."

Hermione cried out, putting all her energy into what she hoped was once final push. And then suddenly she knew it was. She collapsed back against Remus. "Oh my God," she heard him whisper, so reverently.

"You have a boy," said Madam Pomfrey, holding the baby up for them to see. Neither Remus nor Hermione said anything. They just stared at the wrinkly wiggling wailing form Madam Pomfrey was holding.

Then suddenly the baby was in her arms and she was in Remus's. She looked up at her husband. He was staring at her, with tears in his eyes. "I love you," he said, kissing her gently.

"I love you," she replied. Then she leaned down and kissed her son's forehead. "He's so beautiful," she cried.

Remus couldn't answer. All his words were caught in his throat as he stared at his son.

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A few hours later, Hermione was asleep and Remus was sitting in a chair next to her bed, holding their son. He was so mesmerized by the infant that he didn't notice the third person in the room.

"Hey," said Sirius softly.

Remus looked up. "Hi," he replied. "What are you doing here?"

"I went by your place to let you know that Lily was in labor and you weren't there. I guess I had a hunch where you were."

"Lily's in labor?" asked Remus.

Sirius nodded. "She went into labor just a little after midnight. She's at St. Mungo's and the healers think it will be a while yet."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "That's just about when Nathaniel was born."

"Nathaniel?" questioned Sirius.

Remus nodded. "Meet Nathaniel Remus Lupin," he said, standing up and walking to Sirius. He offered him the baby and Sirius took Nathaniel into his arms.

"Why didn't you let us know she was in labor?" he asked.

"We had to take a lot of precautions," said Remus. "We had to be careful how we communicated. Only Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey knew."

"The Ministry's not bothering you?" asked Sirius.

Remus sighed. "They want to take Hermione into custody for violating decree 47," he confirmed.

"What?" hissed Sirius.

"Shh," Remus shushed him as the baby fussed in Sirius's arms.

"Sorry," murmured Sirius. He rocked the baby gently, lulling him back to sleep. "Does she know?"

Remus shook his head. "The way Dumbledore figures it we just have to hold out until after the first full moon. If I didn't pass my lycanthropy onto Nathaniel, the Ministry won't care what happens to him or Hermione." Remus reached for Nathaniel and Sirius immediately handed him back.

Sirius nodded. It was hard to imagine that tiny little body being a threat to anyone. "What will you do if…" he trailed off.

Remus shook his head. "I don't know." He looked down at his son. "I don't know what I'll do. He's so innocent and helpless. It kills me knowing he might be just like me."

"Hey," said Sirius sharply. "That kid could do a lot worse than be just like you. The way I see it, he'd be lucky to grow up to be just like his dad. Whatever happens, you know James and I will always be here for you and him."

"Thanks Sirius," said Remus. "That means a lot." He paused. "Can I ask you a favor?" he asked.

"Anything," said Sirius quickly.

"If Nathaniel," he paused not wanting to finish the thought. "Well, if he is, even as an infant he'll be dangerous. And I'm not sure if Hermione will be able to deal with it by herself."

"I'll be with her," Sirius reassured him before he could ask.

Remus was visibly relieved. "Thank you."

"What are you two whispering so seriously over there?" asked Hermione from her bed.

Both men turned to her. She pulled herself up in bed and was smiling at them both.

Sirius smiled at her. "I was just telling Remus how good looking this kid of yours is."

Hermione lifted her arms. "Give me my baby," she laughed.

Remus dutifully brought the baby to her.

Hermione cradled her baby. "He is beautiful, isn't he?"

"He looks like Remus," said Sirius.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're supposed to say he looks like me," she scolded.

"He doesn't," said Sirius, but she could tell he was teasing. "Well I haven't seen his eyes yet. There's still some hope."

Remus sat on the bed next to his wife. "Lily's in labor," he told her.

Hermione nodded. "Nathaniel and Harry will share the same birthday." Nobody mentioned the elephant in the room, the prophecy. "I hope she does better than I did."

"You did great," said Remus.

"I guess."

"Are you kidding? I could never do what you just did. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. You are the most amazing woman I've known," he finished kissing her forehead.

Hermione wiped away the tears that started to fall down her face. "I love you," she cried. Then Nathaniel decided to make his presence known. He woke up and started crying.

"Ooohhhh," both parents cooed. "He must be hungry," said Remus.

"I think that's my cue to leave," said Sirius, standing.

"Thank you for coming, Sirius," said Hermione.

"Are you going to St. Mungo's?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded.

"Tell James and Lily we're thinking of them."

"I will," said Sirius. "I'll come back in a few hours."

"Okay," said Remus.

Once Sirius left, Hermione prepared to feed her son. "He's just perfect, isn't he?" she asked Remus.

Remus nodded. "Perfect and all ours." He looked at his wife. "You're crying again," he laughed.

"I can't help it," she said. "Everything is so wonderful right now. And it's all just going to get worse."

"Don't say that," said Remus.

"But what if we can't protect him," said Hermione. "So many bad things could happen to him."

"Nothing bad is going to happen while I'm here," said Remus. He kissed her forehead. "I won't let it." Then he tilted her head down so she could see their son. "Look what you and I made. If you didn't believe in miracles before, you must now."

Hermione looked back to Remus. "You know, I think I do."


	57. Chapter 57

It was three in the morning and one-week-old Nathaniel Lupin was screaming his head off. Remus kicked the covers off him and struggled to his feet. He stumbled across the room to where they had set up the baby's crib.

He lifted Nathaniel and rubbed his back gently. He and Hermione had spent three days at Hogwarts before returning home. Dumbledore had reinforced the wards around their home, though Hermione was still nervous about every passing car and pedestrian.

"Shh, baby," soothed Remus. "You just ate. Let your momma sleep." He swung the baby back and forth slowly, trying to lull him back to sleep, still Nathaniel cried.

Hermione rolled over and lifted her head. "He can't be hungry again," she moaned.

"I don't know," said Remus. He shifted the baby and tried rocking him in another position.

"Does he need to be changed?" Hermione asked.

"Maybe," said Remus. "I'll change him. You get back to sleep."

"Are you sure?" she asked while burying her face back into her pillow and closing her eyes.

Remus only smiled and took the baby to the changing table. It seemed to do the trick. Once he had a fresh diaper on, Nathaniel seemed content to lie peacefully in his father's arms, but he didn't go back to sleep.

Remus took the baby to the rocking chair in the corner of the room and slowly rocked the baby. "You're a cranky little boy," he murmured. "You've got to let your momma sleep. She was up all night with you last night." Nathaniel responded with a tiny yawn. Remus thought his heart might burst.

He was so perfect with his small mouth and big brown eyes. Remus stroked the straw colored fuzz on the baby's head. Then when he was sure Nathaniel was finally asleep he slowly stood and put the baby as gently as possible back into his crib. He held his breath waiting for the baby to wake any second, but he didn't.

Remus stood watching his son for a moment longer, before returning to bed. Hermione rolled over and snuggled close to him and he wrapped one arm around her before closing his eyes and succumbing to his own fatigue.

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The Lupin household was a busy place the next day. Remus's parents had come over for lunch and they were all waiting for the Potter's and Sirius to arrive. Meanwhile, Mrs. Lupin was cooing over her grandson. "You're just the most beautiful baby boy that ever was," she sang. "Yes you are. You look just like your daddy."

Hermione was standing behind her. "He does look like Remus," she agreed.

Mrs. Lupin looked up at Hermione. "Thank you for my grandson," she said sincerely.

Hermione smiled. "You're welcome, but I didn't do it on my own."

Mrs. Lupin smiled mischievously. "Hermione, I gave birth myself. You did most of the work."

Hermione laughed. "Are you sure I can't get you a drink while we wait for everyone else?" she asked.

"Not if it means putting down my perfect boy," she said returning all her attention to Nathaniel.

Hermione just laughed to herself and joined her husband and father-in-law in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" asked Remus. "Get out," he said pointing his finger out. "You're not supposed to be doing anything but relaxing. Dad and I are making lunch."

"I am relaxing," she said. "I'm just giving your mom some time with the baby. I think she's in love."

Mr. Lupin smiled at his daughter-in-law. "You gave her the best gift anyone could have ever given her," he said. He came over to her and kissed the top of her head. "We may not have made it clear, but we love you, darling.

Hermione was too choked up to respond. She was just too happy to finally have the approval of her in-laws. She was grateful to hear a knock at the front door. "I'll get it," she said, quickly escaping.

Hermione was nervous and excited all at the same time. She hadn't seen Lily or James since before the births of their sons. Neither mother had wanted to take her infant out into the world during the first week. But now they were here and she was finally going to be reintroduced to Harry Potter. Hermione threw the door open and she and Lily squealed with delight. They hugged for a long time and Hermione ushered her inside.

James was behind her holding the baby. He and Hermione stared into each other's eyes. "I think you know my son, Harry," he said with a smile.

Hermione bit her bottom lip. He was everything she knew he would be. His unruly jet black hair peeked out from the blanket he was swaddled with. James handed him to her. "Hi," she told the baby softly. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. He opened his eyes and they locked onto hers. She knew it was irrational, but she could swear there was recognition in those eyes.

"He looks just like James," said Lily.

"But he has your eyes," replied Hermione.

"Yes," she agreed. "Now where's Nathaniel."

"Here he is," Mrs. Lupin announced, bringing the baby to Lily.

Lily took him into her arms and sighed. "He's beautiful, Hermione."

She laughed. "He looks like his dad too," she said.

Lily nodded. "It figures that we carry them for nine months and then go through twenty-four hours of painful, excruciating labor and they look just like their dads."

Hermione stepped closer to Lily. "Well, let's introduce our boys so they can be as good of friends as their fathers are."

"Harry meet Nathaniel," said Lily. Suddenly Harry let out a shriek which startled Nathaniel, who started crying.

Lily and Hermione laughed. "I'm not sure that was such a good beginning," said Hermione.

The afternoon was extremely pleasant. They all ate together and generally cooed over the babies. It was nearly nine when everyone left, an early night by anyone's standards except the new parents.

Nathaniel was exhausted after being passed from arm to arm all night and fell asleep as soon as Hermione put him down.

"Poor thing," commented Remus, glancing at his son over his wife's shoulder. "He's dead tired."

"I know. Maybe he'll actually let us get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep tonight," said Hermione.

"We can only hope," returned Remus.

Hermione turned and put her arms around Remus. "Have I told you how much I love you?" she asked.

"Not in the last hour," he replied with a grin.

She kissed him. "Well I do."

"I love you too," he said back.

"Today was so perfect. I think your mother has finally accepted me as your wife."

"Would it have made a difference if she didn't?" Remus asked.

"Of course," she said immediately. "I want us all to be a happy family. I want Nathaniel to have at least one set of grandparents to spoil him. And I would be heartbroken if I was the reason you weren't close with your family."

"You're my family," he said, "you and Nathaniel. And you're right. Today was perfect." He tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

"Bed," agreed Hermione. "Definitely."

They changed for bed and then snuggled close together under the covers, holding each other until they were both asleep.

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By the end of the next week, Hermione knew she was going to go insane. She hadn't been out of the house in two and a half weeks and she longed to breathe the fresh air. She loved her son. She loved waking up each day and wondering what firsts she was going to experience with him. But at the same time, she was beginning to feel a bit stifled in the house. She felt awful just admitting it to herself. Remus didn't seem to be having any trouble with their confinement.

Remus noticed Hermione looking wistfully outside. He knew she was feeling restless so he casually mentioned that they were running low on diapers. Hermione jumped at the chance to run an errand and was in the floo before she even checked to see their diaper supply. If she had, she might have seen the two extra bags tucked away behind the changing table.

Hermione couldn't help taking a small walk after she procured the diapers. The sun felt wonderful against her face. She felt a pang of sadness when her mind drifted back to Remus and Nathaniel back home. She wished she and Remus could take Nathaniel out in his carriage for walks in the park, but it was too dangerous for them.

Satisfied with her brief moment of freedom, Hermione happily returned home. "Remus," she called, stepping out of the fireplace. "I'm back." She waited, but got no response. "Remus?" she called out again, but again she got no response.

Fighting back a wave of uneasiness, Hermione walked slowly through the house. Everything was quiet. She went to Nathaniel's crib and peeked in, but he wasn't there sleeping. She was just about to start a full fledged panic when she noticed a piece of paper lying on the kitchen counter. She grasped it and read it hurriedly.

'Remus, please come by the house as soon as possible. Your mother is unwell. Dad.'

Hermione almost relaxed. She was relieved to know where her husband and son were, but she was also anxious over her mother-in-law.

She decided to immediately floo over to her in-laws home. "Hello," she called out when she arrived. "It's me."

"Hold it right there, miss," said a stern voice from somewhere to her left.

Hermione whirled and pulled out her wand.

"Expelliarmus," the voice shouted and Hermione felt her wand go flying from her hand.

She stopped and stared at a dark haired wizard in gray robes. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"Are you Mrs. Hermione Lupin?" the wizard asked.

Hermione paled. "Where's my husband and son?" she asked.

"They've been taken into custody," he said bluntly.

"What?" she gasped.

"I'm afraid we'll be taking you in too," said the wizard, advancing on Hermione.

"On what charge?" she demanded.

"Violation of decree 47," he answered.

"Where have you taken my family?" she demanded as the wizard forced a round sphere into her hand. He didn't answer and suddenly she felt that familiar tug at her naval. She stumbled when she and the wizard arrived at the Ministry, but she didn't fall thanks to his iron grip on her.

"Is my family here?" she asked fruitlessly. The wizard was no longer answering her.

The wizard ushered her into the elevators at the end of the long hall and they descended to the bottom floor. Then he took her through another series of halls before depositing her into a small room with nothing more than a rickety cot propped against the wall. As he went to close the door, Hermione desperately fired questions at him. "Are they at least together?" she asked. "He's only a few weeks old. He needs us. Where have you taken my baby?"

Once the door was shut firmly before her, she pounded it in rage. "What kind of animals are you?" she shouted. "We haven't done anything. You have no right to do this." She continued banging against the door, grabbing desperately at the door handle. She banged her whole body against the door, shoulder first, not caring about the pain. "Damn it, let me out of here," she yelled. After ten minutes of this she was too exhausted to do anything but sink to the floor, her hand still on the door handle.

She was in the same position six hours later when the door was pushed open. She struggled to her feet. Her body was tired, but her mind was clear. She had to stay in control of herself if she hoped to find out anything about Remus or Nathaniel.

"Mrs. Lupin," said a middle aged witch, standing in the doorway. "Please come with me."

Hermione obediently stepped out in front of the witch who was pointing a wand at her.

"If you cooperate, no harm will come to you," she said simply.

"Harm has already come to me," Hermione answered angrily. "I want my child right now. You have no right to keep me from him."

The witch sighed wearily. "This is bad business all around, keeping a mother from her newborn. I never thought I'd live to see the day the Ministry would condone anything like this."

Hermione laid her every hope on the kind words, uttered with warmth. "Please," she begged quietly. "Where's my Nathaniel? Is he okay?"

"I've not seen him, miss," said the Witch. "But I'm sure he's fine."

"Where have they taken him?" she asked.

"I don't know anything," replied the Witch sympathetically. "I was asked to bring you to the questioning room."

Hermione wanted to press her for more information, but they had arrived at their destination.

"Just sit," said the Witch. "Someone will be with you shortly."

Hermione sat at the long table. She propped her elbows onto the table and rested her head in her hands. After a few minutes, her head jerked up when she thought she heard a baby's cry. She felt a warm liquid rush from her chest and looked down to see her blouse was stained with her milk. She had been breastfeeding Nathaniel and he was long past due to be fed.

She started to get up, but she knew it would be futile to try the door. Hermione sunk back into her chair and bent her head, letting the tears drip down her nose.

She was so wrapped up in her own misery, that she didn't hear the door open.

"Hermione," said a cautious voice.

Hermione jerked her head up. "James," she gasped. She jumped up, tipping her chair backwards. Before she could throw herself into his arms, he held her at arms length.

"I'm here officially, Hermione," said James. "You have to sit down."

Hermione couldn't have felt worse if he had slapped her. She set her jaw. "I don't care why you're here," she said icily. "Where are Remus and Nathaniel?"

"They're both fine," he assured her. "I am so sorry this happened," he added in a low whisper.

"How do you know they're fine?" she asked desperately.

"I saw Nathaniel," said James. "I held him and rocked him to sleep."

Hermione nearly wept with relief. "I have to feed him," she said. "It's been so long."

James glanced down the front of Hermione's shirt and colored with suppressed anger. He took off his robe and wrapped it around her, lingering slightly to rub her shoulders. He shook his head. "He's been fed and changed. Now he's sleeping. Don't worry about Nathaniel. I would never let anything happen to him."

"What about Remus?" asked Hermione.

James sighed. "He's…" he trailed off.

"What?" Hermione demanded. "James, what?"

"He was very angry when they came," James explained. "The Ministry has been very frustrated that Dumbledore has been hiding the three of you. They decided that since the full moon was so close, they needed to take some drastic measures. They took Remus's parents into custody for questioning."

"Oh no," moaned Hermione, sinking into her chair. "His dad sent him a note. Why would he do that?"

"He didn't," said James. "The Ministry forged that note. They assumed you both would come immediately if you thought his mother was ill."

"I was out," she said guiltily. "I saw the note when I came home."

"Remus was so angry when they took the baby. He lost it and they had to stun him."

"This is such a nightmare," she sighed. "Can I see Remus?"

James shook his head. "They're going to keep him until after the full moon."

"No they can't," shouted Hermione. "James you know how proud he is. You can't let them do this."

"I don't have a say in this," said James. He saw how upset she was getting so he moved closer and kneeled in front of her. "Listen to me. All you have to do is hold on until after the full moon. They want to observe Nathaniel and see if he's a werewolf. If he's not they will send you all home."

Hermione glanced up and looked into James's eyes. "And if he is?"

James knew he had to tell the truth. "Then they'll officially charge both you and Remus with violating decree 47."

"Azkaban?" asked Hermione in terror.

James couldn't answer her. He didn't have to. She saw it in his eyes.

"And while we're rotting away for doing nothing more than daring to get married and have a baby, what happens to Nathaniel."

"You know Lily and I will make sure he's taken care of," said James. "We are his godparents."

Hermione stared at him. "That's not good enough," she said. "We should be the ones raising him, not you and Lily."

"You will," he tried to reassure her. "I just meant…"

"I know what you meant," she cut him off. "But right now I'm not so sure you raising our child is such a good thing."

"I know you're upset, and you have every right to be," began James, but she cut him off again.

"I don't think I want Nathaniel raised by someone who works for people who would take his parents away from him."

"Hermione, please."

"You might as well have ripped him from my arms."

James banged his fist on the table. "Damn it, Hermione. Don't you know we're doing everything we can to help you." He lowered his voice to a whisper so low she barely heard him. "You know very well we can't quit our jobs. Dumbledore depends on the information we bring him. The Ministry is so determined to catch Voldemort that they're almost becoming a bigger threat. We have to stop this war now. I can't very well help do that without this job."

"I don't care about this war. All I want is my family back."

James opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him. "I can't talk to you anymore," she said turning her face away. "If you can't help me, get Sirius. I know he'd do anything for me."

James sighed deeply. "There's something you need to know. Sirius was a part of the group that took Remus and Nathaniel into custody."

"What?" she gasped.

"We didn't know this was happening. No one told us. When we realized we couldn't stop them and we didn't have time to warn you, Sirius thought it would be easiest if he went. He thought you'd feel better handing Nathaniel over to him."

Hermione slumped down into her chair. "Just tell Sirius I need him," she said softly.

"Hermione, are you hearing me?" asked James. "You just have to hold on for a few days."

"Sirius, James. I need Sirius."

James reached out to touch her hand, but she slid it into her lap. "I'll see what I can do," he said quietly. He stood and left the room.

A few minutes later, Hermione was escorted back to her cell. She leaned wearily against the wall, refusing the dubious comfort the cot offered her. Suddenly she started laughing to herself, a hysterical sort of laugh. It had been a little more that a year since she and Remus had been in this same position, only then she was under Voldemort's control. It struck her funny that she hadn't felt this helpless then. Somehow she'd known she would get out of that mess. She wasn't so sure now.

Hermione refused to let sleep take her that night. It might have been better to drift off and forget, but she wouldn't. She kept herself awake by reviewing Hogwarts, A History over in her mind. She had read the book so many times she had parts of it memorized. It was her most prized possession, the first present Remus had ever given her on their first Christmas together all those years ago.

She clung to that memory and marveled at how young she had been. She'd grown up a lot since then and she doubted Ron and Harry would even recognize the woman she had become. Sometimes, she couldn't even reconcile the child she had been and the woman she was now.

It was early in the morning when she heard him. She could hear the unmistakable angry voice of Sirius Black. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but the sound alone brought her to her feet and cleared her head.

"Sirius," she called out. She pressed her ear against the door and heard a second sound. It was the unmistakable wail of her infant. "Nathaniel," she breathed. She knew her baby's cry anywhere.

"I can't let you take that baby in there," said a female voice.

"Just look away," returned Sirius. "I won't be long."

"No, it's out of the question."

"Ruth," continued Sirius. "I'm taking this baby to his mother. It's not right what we're doing to them and you know it."

"How did you even get that baby past Crouch?" she asked.

"The man's a fanatic about his schedule, you know that. I just waited for his morning coffee run, 7:23 on the dot, an odd but convenient time for coffee."

"Sirius," she said warningly. "You'll be fired."

Hermione stepped back from the door as it started to swing open.

"Then I'll be fired," he finished, opening the door and treating Hermione to the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

Nathaniel's face was red and his tiny gummy mouth formed a perfect O. He was crying as if his heart was breaking. Hermione rushed to Sirius and he happily handed over her son. She cried with relief and breathed in his perfect smell, rocking and stroking him. "I knew you could do it," she cried. "Thank you."

"Ruth, give us a minute," said Sirius without really offering the woman a choice. He started to shut the door, but she put her hand out and halted it.

"Ten minutes, Black. That's it, or I'll report you to Crouch myself."

Sirius nodded once and finished closing the door. Hermione had already managed to calm Nathaniel somewhat.

"Thank you," she whispered, never taking her eyes from her baby. "Thank you."

"You should be thanking James," he said.

Hermione's head shot up. "James wouldn't help. I made him get you. I knew you'd do anything for me."

"James snuck Nathaniel out of his crib. He just passed him to me to get him past Crouch. We'll both probably be fired."

Hermione returned her gaze to her son. "Have you seen Remus?"

"No," Sirius replied. "Not since…" Sirius trailed off. "He's being kept under very strict watch. James and I can't get anywhere near him."

"Have you been to see Dumbledore?" she asked.

"Hermione, I know you're desperate to get out of here, but I don't think it's possible. None of us have enough power to do it."

"You got us out of Malfoy's dungeon. Do you seriously want me to believe getting us out of here is more difficult than that?"

"We don't have a lot of time," said Sirius, side-stepping her question. "I need to tell you what's going to happen next. The full moon's in two nights…"

"I know that," she snapped. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"On the afternoon of the full moon," he continued, ignoring her outburst. "Someone will come down here to bring you to the observation room. They'll have Nathaniel in an accompanying room. I'll do what I can to be with you."

"Then what?" she asked after he paused.

"We wait," he said simply.

Hermione looked down at Nathaniel, who was now resting calmly in her arms, staring up at her with his beautiful brown eyes, depending on her for everything. "Wait," she repeated. "I won't let them separate us, Sirius," she said quietly. "I'll use everything I know about everyone to make sure it never happens." When she looked back to Sirius her eyes showed her dead calm. "I know things about people from this time that would ruin their lives. I've held back to keep things from getting out of control. But if I have to I'll bring down the entire Ministry to protect my boys. I don't care if that means handing over victory to Voldemort."

Sirius stared at Hermione and for the first time he was a little afraid of her. He never considered what she might know about people who weren't Death Eaters. Even good people had secrets they'd rather nobody knew.

There was a sharp knock at the door and Hermione pulled Nathaniel closer to her.

"I have to take him now," said Sirius quietly.

Hermione hesitated before handing him back to Sirius. She thought her heart was literally breaking. "I meant what I said," she said quietly.

Sirius shifted Nathaniel in his arms and put his free arm around Hermione, holding her close. "You'll get through this," he reassured her. She stayed stiff in his arms, not accepting his comfort.

"If you see Remus," she said. "Tell him I love him."

"He knows," said Sirius. "But if I see him I'll tell him anyway."

At the door, he turned back to her. "Just hang in there," he begged. Then he shut the door.

Hermione walked slowly to the cot and sank down onto it. She refused to cry. They would not beat her. Seeing Nathaniel had sustained her. She would get through these next days and no matter what happened on the night of the full moon, she would be taking her son and husband home.

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A/N: I know it took longer than usual for the update. Sorry about that. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Some of you seem to think that I might not read the reviews since the story has so many, but I do. And I love all of them.

I'm glad so many of you liked the name Nathaniel. I actually had it picked out since chapter one.


	58. Chapter 58

"It's time."

Hermione stood slowly and followed the witch who had come to collect her. She had been alone for the last two days with the exception of the witch who came to bring her food and take her to the bathroom. She hadn't heard from Sirius or James in days and she worried that they may have gotten into serious trouble for bringing Nathaniel to her.

Sirius had said he would try to be with her today, but she didn't want to ask about him.

On the outside, she was the picture of serenity, but inwardly she was struggling just to put one foot in front of the other. The witch leading her commented on it. "You certainly don't seem too concerned about your baby."

Hermione looked stonily at her. "I don't think you know me well enough to determine whether I'm really calm or just about ready to kill someone if they stand between me and my family."

The Witch's eyes widened slightly, "I'd be a little more respectful…"

"We'll take over from here," interrupted Sirius.

Hermione looked to her left and saw James and Sirius approaching. They both looked furious.

"I'm supposed to take her…" began the Witch.

"We said we'd take over," James, said cutting her off. "You're supposed to transport her, not make comments."

"I wasn't…"

"I left some paperwork on your desk that I need back by this afternoon," said Sirius, dismissing her with a smile.

She scowled back at him, but relinquished her hold on Hermione and slunk away.

"Hey," said James. "You doing okay?"

Hermione closed her eyes and walked right into James' arms. He hugged her awkwardly, patting her back lightly.

"I'm sorry about what I said before," she whispered into his chest.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," he replied.

"We have to hurry," interrupted Sirius.

Hermione looked at him questioningly.

"We're going to make a little detour," said Sirius with a smile and he and James hurried her along. Sirius led them down several hallways and through a number of doors. "Here we are," he announced when they were standing in front of a heavy metal door. He pulled out his wand and opened the door. "Go on in," said Sirius.

Hermione hesitated, but James pushed her gently forward on the small of her back. "We'll wait out here." Inside the small room was Remus. He was chained to the far wall and his head was bowed low. He didn't look up as Hermione approached. "Remus," she said tentatively.

His head shot up and she gasped. His eyes were wet and bloodshot. She rushed forward and cupped his face. "What did they do to you?" she cried.

"Hermione," he groaned. She pressed her entire body against him, needing to feel his warmth. "Nathaniel?" he asked desperately.

"I'm going to him now," she reassured him.

"They took him," said Remus.

"I know," she said.

"I couldn't stop them," he said.

"It's okay."

"I'll kill them," he growled, then he tensed and moaned.

"What?" Hermione demanded.

"Full moon," he gasped. "It's almost time."

Hermione ran her hands down his arms and over the chains that were biting into his skin. She lowered her head and kissed the bruised skin. Then she stood and pressed her cheek to his. "I love you," she whispered. "Hold on to that."

"I'm so sorry I've brought this on you," he replied.

She took his head in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Kiss me and tell me you love me," she whispered.

"I love you," he breathed and his lips found hers in a gentle, needy, desperate kiss. Their faces stayed close and their tears mingled together. "If Nathaniel…" he whispered.

"We'll love him no matter what," she replied, cutting him off.

"Hermione," said James, poking his head into the room. "We'd better go."

Hermione nodded without turning around. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she whispered over and over, punctuating each declaration with a kiss. She gave him one last squeeze before reluctantly moving away.

"James," Remus called out.

"Yeah?"

"You take care of them," he demanded. "Swear you will."

"I swear," replied James solemnly.

Remus nodded and Hermione could see him visibly relax then James closed the door. Hermione stood very still with her eyes closed, trying to regain her composure. "I am going to make them pay," she whispered furiously. "They will pay for doing this to him."

James shot Sirius a look and then guided Hermione away. They reached the room where Nathaniel was being held. A wizard was standing over a crib. Hermione could see his tiny pudgy arms waving in the air.

"What is he doing?" asked Hermione.

"He's securing Nathaniel," said Sirius.

"What? He's just an infant."

"Hermione, I agree with this," interrupted James. "If the worst happens, Nathaniel will be a danger to himself."

"I want to go in there. I want to be with him."

"You can't. It won't be safe."

"I don't care. I'm his mother," she argued.

Sirius approached her and hugged her tightly from behind. "This will all be over soon," he whispered in her ear. "I know you're frantic, but we're here. We're both here for you."

Every one of her muscles was tight with tension and she felt like she was about to come out of her skin.

"You can do this," reassured Sirius, holding her even tighter. They watched through a window as the wizard left and secured the outer door.

"How much longer?" James asked him.

"Minutes," replied the unknown Wizard curtly. "What is she doing here?"

If Sirius hadn't wisely secured Hermione to him, she would have launched herself at the man. "Be strong for Nathaniel," whispered Sirius urgently.

"Don't worry about her," snapped James.

The wizard narrowed his eyes at James. "The two of you are killing your careers by siding with these outcasts."

"Sirius and I bring in more Death Eaters than the rest of our team combined," said James coldly. "And we don't have to resort to picking up three week olds."

The wizard's eyebrows went up. "Sirius was right there with us," he said. Their sparring match was interrupted by a loud scream followed by several more.

"What is that?" gasped Hermione.

"The full moon is coming up," said Sirius.

"Remus isn't the only werewolf being held," said James quietly.

Hermione wanted to cover her ears against the agonized wailing surrounding her, but an even more terrible sound reached her ear. Nathaniel had started crying. "Oh no, no," she moaned, "Nathaniel no."

Both Sirius and James turned white. James reached for one of Hermione's hands and held it tightly. All three pressed themselves up against the glass window, watching and waiting.

Silent tears fell down Hermione's face as the seconds ticked by. Nathaniel's cries turned into screams, but his soft pink skin remained whole and perfect. The cries of the men and women experiencing the painful transformation slowly morphed from human to animal, but still Nathaniel seemed unchanged.

Slowly hope began to burgeon in Hermione's heart. She looked up to see Sirius's wide smile open with silent joy. Then suddenly to her left James let out a joyous whoop. He grabbed Hermione and spun her in a tight circle, lifting her from the ground. Hermione clutched him, crying out with pure happiness. Sirius pumped the air with his fist and Hermione let go of James and jumped into his arms. Then she released him and pressed herself up against the glass window drinking in the sight of her perfect child. Sirius and James hugged tightly and clapped each other on the back. The joy in the air was absolutely tangible, an odd contrast to the despairing sounds all around them.

The wizard who had secured Nathaniel even smiled, though he hardly participated in the celebration.

"Let me in there," demanded Hermione.

Not daring to deny her with James and Sirius so close, the wizard nodded once and pulled out his wand opening the heavy door. Hermione pushed past him and ran into the room. Her hands immediately went to Nathaniel's bonds, but she couldn't undo them without magic.

"James, Sirius, help," she called out desperately. Nathaniel was still screaming terrified, heart-breaking sobs. The boys hurried into the room and Sirius pulled out his wand, quickly breaking the baby's bonds. Once free, Nathaniel reached out desperately, as if he knew his mother was near. Hermione took him into her arms and cuddled him close to her chest, whispering to him.

"I'm here, my love," she whispered. "Mommy's here. Don't be frightened." Nathaniel's cries lost their terrified pitch, but she could tell he was still frightened. "I need to get him out of here," she told the boys.

"Of course," said James. Inwardly he was thinking he'd never bring Harry within ten feet of this place. He ushered Hermione quickly down the hall, past door after door. When they passed the one Remus was being held in Hermione paused for a second.

"He'll know soon," said Sirius, reading her mind. "Come on," he urged her. "Let's get Nathaniel out of here."

James brought them to his and Sirius's office and made Hermione sit.

"Is he okay?" he asked. Nathaniel was still crying.

"He was so good this entire time," commented Sirius. "Every time James and I snuck away to see him, he wasn't crying."

"He's my brave boy," said Hermione. "And if he wants to cry now, then he can." She bent down and placed tiny kisses on his head.

There was a sudden knock at the door and Hermione tensed, pulling Nathaniel closer to her. "Send whoever that is away," she demanded.

Sirius went to the door and had a whispered conversation, before opening the door fully.

Hermione eyed the older man who she knew as Bartemius Crouch. "Mrs. Lupin," he began in greeting. "My name is Bartemius Crouch."

"I know who you are," replied Hermione curtly.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "My congratulations on the health of your son, we all hoped this story would end happily for you," he said pompously.

"You hoped nothing of the sort," Hermione shot back. "You would have liked nothing better than to lock me and my husband away in Azkaban and put Nathaniel in some sort of institution."

"Hermione," said James warningly under his breath.

"Now see here," sputtered Crouch. "You and Lupin broke the law. There are consequences when one does that."

"Consequences," yelled Hermione, standing up. She passed Nathaniel to James and advanced on Crouch. "What right do you have, you of all people, to lecture me on the consequences of my decisions."

"Decree 47," began Crouch, his face growing very red.

"Is a travesty," Hermione shouted back, cutting him off. "My husband was honored by this Ministry for the role he played in the assault at Hogwarts. He risked his life saving his fellow students. Albus Dumbledore himself will vouch for his loyalty, and still he's treated like this by our government."

"Your husband," Crouch spat back, "would have been left alone if he had not violated Decree 47."

"A law that prevents him from finding any sort of happiness in life," she replied angrily. "What right do you have to tell us we can't make a life for ourselves?"

"Okay that's enough," Sirius interrupted. "Sir," he said, addressing Crouch. "The bottom line is that Nathaniel is obviously not a werewolf. You guaranteed all the charges against Hermione and Remus would be dropped if that happened. We had a deal."

Crouch glared at Hermione, but reluctantly nodded to Sirius. "Yes, I did make that bargain. When morning comes we will release the werewolf to you."

"What?" questioned Hermione, suddenly confused. "What bargain? What is he talking about, Sirius?"

Sirius raised his hand, silencing her.

"But your reputation is on the line, Black," said Crouch. "Your entire career is."

"Sirius, what is he talking about?" demanded Hermione.

"You're a very lucky girl," said Crouch, talking down to Hermione, "with very loyal friends. See that you deserve it." He nodded once to Sirius then James. "Black, Potter, good day." Then he left the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

Hermione whirled on Sirius. "Talk," she demanded.

"Now just calm down," said Sirius. "It's not worth getting all worked up about."

"What did Crouch mean by your career was on the line?" she asked. "You shouldn't trust Crouch, Sirius. Believe me, I know."

"It's nothing," said Sirius.

"If it was nothing, Crouch wouldn't have just thrown whatever it is in my face."

Sirius sighed deeply. "I agreed to take responsibility for Remus's release."

"What does that mean?" asked Hermione.

"It means I promised to keep an eye on the two of you."

"Keep an eye on us," laughed Hermione. "You mean make sure we stay loyal to the Ministry, right?"

Sirius nodded.

"That's ridiculous," she scoffed.

"I agree," said Sirius. "But it was the only way I could get them to release Remus. They would have kept him confined as a dangerous creature otherwise."

"But what does it mean?" she asked. "How are you going to keep an eye on us?"

Sirius looked at the ground, not wanting to admit to the deal he had made. "It means Remus will have to check in with me daily," he admitted reluctantly. "I'll have to know where he is at all times."

Hermione paled. "He'll never agree to do that."

"He doesn't have a choice," snapped Sirius.

"How could you have let this happen?" she shouted back.

"Hermione, that's enough," interrupted James. He walked closer to her. "Here," he said, handing her Nathaniel. "Hold your son and listen to me. Sirius did everything he could to get them to drop the charges against the both of you. It wasn't hard to get them to let up on you. The Ministry certainly doesn't want to have to explain why they're separating a three week old from his mother. But they were ready to make an example of Remus."

"For what," asked Hermione sarcastically, "for daring to get married and pregnate? My God, what a crime!"

"Yes, exactly," said James. "They take Decree 47 very seriously. The two of you didn't even consider it."

"So we shouldn't have had Nathaniel then?" asked Hermione.

"Of course you should have," said James, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "You know we don't think like them. Don't forget Hermione. We've known Remus a lot longer than you have. He's our brother and we'd do anything for him."

Hermione couldn't argue. She bowed her head in contrition. "He's just going to be so humiliated to have to check in with you."

"We won't let him know then," said Sirius quietly.

"How?" asked Hermione.

"There's no reason we can't just happen to see each other every day," said Sirius. "Remus will never know the real reason." Sirius leaned closer to Hermione. "I know he's proud. I don't want to take that away from him. I just wanted Nathaniel to have a father."

Sharp tears stung Hermione's eyes and she nodded. "Okay," she agreed. "And thank you."

"I love you," said Sirius and he kissed the top of her head. "All three of you," he added.

They were silent for a long time and then Nathaniel, who was now lying contently in his mother's arms gazing up at her, gave a tiny yawn, which Hermione immediately followed with one of her own.

"You look exhausted," commented James. "Why don't you come back to Godric's Hollow with me? Lily's been frantic about you. We can all get some sleep and come back in the morning."

"No," protested Hermione. "I don't want to leave Remus."

"Are you sure?" asked James.

She nodded.

"I'll tell you what," said Sirius. "I'll stay here with Hermione and you go home and tell Lily the news."

"No, I'll stay," offered James.

"It's really okay, James," said Hermione. "Go home to your wife and son. Sirius will stay with us."

James looked doubtful, but after another five minutes of prodding, he agreed. "I'll be back in the morning," he promised, before leaving.

Sirius conjured a couch with a pillow and a blanket. "Lay down," he told Hermione.

She shook her head. "I don't want to let Nathaniel go," she whispered. "I'm afraid to."

Sirius smiled sympathetically and thought for a moment. Finally, he sat on the couch and patted the space next to him. Hermione sat, still cradling her baby. "Now, you lean on me and get some rest and I'll make sure nothing happens to either one of you tonight."

"You'll stay up all night?" questioned Hermione.

Sirius nodded, "all night."

Hermione laid her head against his shoulder. "Thank you, Sirius," she said quietly.

The next morning Hermione woke slowly. She felt warm and comfortable and fought against consciousness. She felt strong arms tighten around her and she snuggled deeper into them. "Remus," she murmured. Then she woke up. She saw the arms around her were tan and not pale and slightly more muscular than she was used to. She craned her neck and saw Sirius, sleeping with his mouth slightly open. Then she looked down to see Nathaniel slumbering peacefully against her chest.

Hermione giggled slightly at the sight. Then she gasped remembering it was morning.

"Wha…" Sirius jolted awake.

"Remus," she gasped. "I have to see him.

Sirius was still half asleep and slightly disoriented. Hermione pushed herself up, waking Nathaniel in the process, who started crying. She handed him to Sirius and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" called Sirius.

"Remus has to know about Nathaniel," she called over her shoulder. "Keep him here." Then she dashed down the corridor. Thanking her photographic memory, she found the room he was being held in easily enough. Ministry officials were already there opening the rooms. Hermione was surprised to see she wasn't the only non Ministry official in the room. From what she could tell, parents, wives, and husbands had all come to collect their loved ones. It was a heart-breaking sight.

Finally she was allowed into the room. She ran in to find Remus still chained to the wall. He looked awful. His clothes were ragged and every muscle on his body seemed to be strained. His bonds were broken and Hermione had to rush to catch him or he would have fallen to the floor.

"Remus, are you okay?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

Remus looked up at his wife, his entire face in agony. "Nathaniel?"

Hermione's eyes and smile told him everything he needed to know and he pulled her into a fierce hug. They both dropped to the floor, holding and supporting each other and sharing the joy that their son was healthy.

"Take me to him," Remus begged.

Hermione nodded and helped him to stand. She had never been with him this close after the transformation. He had always fought against her seeing him at his most vulnerable. She was surprised at how weak he really was. It took all her strength to get him back to Nathaniel and Sirius. They had to pause several times, but they finally got there.

Sirius set the baby down and went to help Hermione. They made Remus sit on the couch and Hermione hurried to bring Nathaniel to him.

As soon as he was in his arms, Remus began to cry. Hermione wrapped her arms around her husband and son and held them close. Feeling like an intruder, Sirius quietly left the room, shutting the door behind him.

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A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. The last chapter was absolute agony to write, but it got one of the best responses of all the chapters, so I guess I pulled it off.

I love how you were all on pins and needles over whether Nathaniel was a werewolf or not. I just couldn't do that to Remus. He would torture himself with guilt.

Okay, I have decided to answer some questions in the next chapter. I get a lot in the reviews and haven't yet answered any. If you have any about the story now is the time to ask. The answer might be in the next author review.


	59. Chapter 59

It was around three in the morning, when Hermione was woken suddenly. She lifted herself up on her elbows and peered over into Nathaniel's crib. He was sleeping soundly. Then she turned to see Remus. He had broken out into a cold sweat and was breathing heavily.

Hermione laid her hand on his chest. "Remus," she whispered, trying to gently wake him. He batted her hand away. "Remus, wake up," she insisted. She leaned over him and shook his shoulder. "You're having a nightmare, darling."

Suddenly she found her wrist in a vice-like grip and she was on her back, her eyes wide with shock. Remus was over her, pinning her against the bed, his eyes moving wildly.

"Remus," Hermione said sharply.

He held her tight for several seconds before he registered where he was. "Oh baby, I'm sorry," he groaned, sliding off of her and burying his face in his pillow.

Hermione rolled over and put her arm around his shoulder. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he groaned. "I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"No," said Hermione immediately. "You just startled me." Hermione put her hands on his back and gently began to massage his shoulders. "Do you want to tell me what that nightmare was about?" she asked quietly.

"It's nothing," said Remus. He flipped over onto his back and gathered Hermione in his arms. She rested her cheek against his bare chest, registering how fast his heart was beating.

"They'll never take Nathaniel again," she said softly. She knew what was tormenting him. It was the same thing that had tormented her for the past six weeks. Most nights she got up at least seven or eight times to check on him.

Remus sighed deeply. "It's not enough that we have to protect him from Voldemort. Now we have to worry about the Ministry too."

"It won't always be like this," Hermione tried to reassure him.

"You don't know that," replied Remus.

"I…" Hermione was interrupted by a fussing sound from the crib. She popped her head up and peered over at the crib.

"Bring him here with us," said Remus.

Hermione got up and lifted Nathaniel from his crib. He was only minimally fussing. "Little faker," she said softly, before handing Nathaniel to Remus. Remus laid him on his chest and Nathaniel immediately quieted.

"He only does that with you," she said with only a little jealousy in her voice.

"He's my boy," said Remus.

"I carried him for nine months," argued Hermione.

Remus grabbed the front of her pajama top and pulled her down, back into his arms. One hand rested on Nathaniel's back and the other was stroking Hermione's hair. "Yes you did," he agreed and he kissed her on her forehead. "Now go to sleep."

Hermione cuddled closer and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

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Two nights later Hermione was not feeling quite so peaceful. She was trying to cook dinner and feed Nathaniel all at the same time. Remus was out on a quick surveillance mission for Dumbledore and Hermione had hoped to have a nice quiet dinner for two waiting for him, but Nathaniel was not cooperating.

He was screaming bloody murder and spitting up all the milk he took into his mouth.

"Nathaniel, please," she begged. "I had the whole evening planned out. Your daddy has been out all day long. I wanted to take a shower and change and have dinner ready."

Nathaniel was deaf to his mother's plea and continued to wail. Hermione sat heavily in a chair in front of him and buried her face in her hands.

"Hermione," called a voice from the living room. Sirius leaned against the doorway to the kitchen. "What's burning?" he asked sniffing the air.

"Oh damn it," yelled Hermione, jumping up and running to the stove. She pulled the pot off the burner and turned the fire down. "Damn it," she said again. She went back to her chair and closed her eyes.

"Hermione, are you okay?" asked Sirius.

Hermione opened her eyes. "Yes," she said wearily.

Sirius raised her eyebrows. "You look awful," he commented.

Hermione glared at him. "Thanks a lot."

Sirius eyed Nathaniel. "Hey squirt. What's the matter?"

Nathaniel stared up at Sirius through tear-filled eyes. His mouth trembled and he cried pitiful heartbreaking whimpers.

"He wants Remus," sighed Hermione. "He's usually the one who gives him his evening bottle."

Sirius picked up the bottle and made a face. "Have you ever considered he's sick of the same old thing every night."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No," she said shortly.

"No seriously," he insisted. "Maybe he doesn't like the formula you're using."

"It's not formula," replied Hermione.

Sirius looked at her blankly.

"Its breast milk," she supplied.

"Oh," said Sirius, coloring slightly. "Well that can't be it then."

Hermione burst into tears.

Sirius got a slightly panicked look on his face and set the bottle down hastily.

"I'm sorry," cried Hermione. "It's just that I've had such a long day and Nathaniel wouldn't nap and now he won't eat. And I wanted dinner ready when Remus came home and Nathaniel to be in bed a half an hour ago so I could at least take a shower."

"So take one," interrupted Sirius, before she could ramble any further.

Hermione wiped the tears from her face.

"Go take a shower," repeated Sirius. "I'll watch Nathaniel. I've got to wait for Remus anyway."

Hermione stood and gave Sirius a peck on the cheek. "Thank you." She hurried from the room before Nathaniel's cries which had reached a fevered pitch, could change his mind.

Sirius turned his full attention on the very grumpy baby in front of him. He unbuckled him from his carrier and lifted him into his arms. He carried him over to a chair and sat down, rocking him all the while. "We need to have a talk, little man," said Sirius seriously. "Your mama looks worn out and you're not helping with all this noise."

Nathaniel stared up at Sirius, but his mouth was still working and his eyes were still weepy. "Should we try your bottle again?" asked Sirius, picking it up from the table. As soon as he put it to Nathaniel's lips, he screamed and his pudgy fist shot up and pushed the bottle away. "Okay, maybe not," sighed Sirius. He shifted Nathaniel to his other arm and jiggled him a little.

After a few minutes it became clear that he wasn't calming down. Sirius stood and began pacing around the kitchen and still Nathaniel cried.

"Hermione," called a voice from the next room. "I'm home." Remus followed the noises coming from the kitchen to find not his wife, but Sirius pacing the room with his son. "Hey," said Remus in surprise.

"Hi," replied Sirius.

"What are you doing here?" asked Remus. "Where's Hermione?"

"Taking a shower," answered Sirius. "I just stopped by to see how everyone was doing?"

"Oh," replied Remus. "Having trouble?" he grinned.

"He's been crying since I got here," replied Sirius, obviously frustrated.

"I'll take him," laughed Remus, taking Nathaniel from Sirius. He kissed Nathaniel's wet cheek and in seconds had him strapped back into his carrier, talking to him all the while. "And how was your day?" he asked Nathaniel. "That bad, huh? Well, I guess I can't complain about my day then." As he talked, he grabbed the baby bottle and shook it before leaning over Nathaniel and putting the bottle to his mouth. "I tell you I would much rather have been here with you and your beautiful mommy." Nathaniel reached up and settled his hand on the bottle just above his father's hand and then with his other hand he clutched Remus's finger. Father and son stared at each other and then slowly, to Sirius's amazement, Nathaniel began to suck.

"Wow," breathed Sirius. "That was incredible."

Remus never took his eyes off Nathaniel. "He just needs eye contact when he's being fed. It makes him feel secure."

Sirius shook his head, knowing he could never be that good of a father.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're really here?" asked Remus.

Sirius froze. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Sirius. You're over practically every day. I know what's going on."

"Uhh," stammered Sirius. He had tried to be careful about checking in on Remus everyday. He and Hermione had discussed the arrangement further since the night at the Ministry and both had agreed that Remus would be furious if he ever found out Sirius had to check on him daily. He had tried to casually run into him when he could, but all of their schedules were complicated and lately the only time he could see Remus was after work.

"It's not that I don't appreciate what you're doing," continued Remus. "But it's not necessary."

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius cautiously.

"I know you're worried about us and you're a good friend, but I don't think the Ministry will ever try and take Nathaniel again. And as long as I spend the full moon in the Ministry lock-up they'll leave us alone."

"Oh," said Sirius quietly. He felt awful. Remus thought he was checking up on them daily out of concern. "Well to tell you the truth," he began, hating having to lie. "It's kind of boring living on my own. I like coming by and checking in with you guys."

Remus looked up and met Sirius's eyes. "You're always welcome," he smiled. "I just want you to know that you don't have to worry."

"Okay," said Sirius. "Thanks."

"Honey, you're home," said Hermione brightly as she entered the kitchen.

"Hi," smiled Remus. He stood up and greeted his wife with a kiss.

She held him close. "Hi," she said back.

"How was your day?" asked Remus.

"Much better now," she replied.

"Good," said Remus, kissing her again before reluctantly letting her go.

Hermione looked at Nathaniel who was now contently looking up at his parents. "You would stop crying once your daddy got home," she laughed.

"I fed him," said Remus. He went to the carrier and unbuckled Nathaniel. "And now we're going to have a bath and then we're going to bed." He lifted him into his arms. "Say goodnight to Uncle Sirius," said Remus. Then he paused. "Will you stay for dinner?" he asked.

Sirius shook his head. "No thanks. I'm actually heading over to James and Lily's."

"Oh okay. Say hi to them for us," said Remus before leaving with Nathaniel.

Hermione shook her head with a smile.

"What?" asked Sirius.

"He's just so good with him," she sighed.

"He does seem to have the hang of fatherhood," commented Sirius.

"I'm never going to be that good."

"What are you talking about," exclaimed Sirius. "You're a great mother."

"I'm a good parent," corrected Hermione. "Remus is the great one."

"You're overly critical of yourself," observed Sirius. "You always have been. An O was never good enough for you."

Hermione shook her head. "You don't understand," she said quietly. "Remus can't wait to change his nappies. He takes an absolute delight in everything Nathaniel does. He seems to have been born to be his daddy. And don't get me wrong. I felt that way too at first, but ever since the incident at the Ministry, I don't know, I feel different."

"Different how?" asked Sirius.

Hermione bit her bottom lip. "I didn't expect my life to turn out this way." Sirius stared at her, not knowing how to respond. "I'm a horrible mother," she moaned.

Sirius came close and put his hand on her shoulder. "No you're not," he assured her.

"I just feel like there's something more, something, just something. And I know I have to do something about it."

"You should talk to Remus about this," said Sirius.

Hermione looked up. Suddenly she realized what her mouth had just betrayed. She laughed lightly. "God, I must be really tired. Don't pay any attention to me. I'm just running off at the mouth."

Sirius studied her face for several moments. He could see she felt vulnerable under his stare, so he didn't make any further comments. "I guess I'll get going then."

"Okay," said Hermione, not bothering to ask him to stay. "We'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," agreed Sirius and with a smile he disapparated.

Hermione stood up and went to try and fix the ruined dinner. After a while, Remus rejoined her in the kitchen.

"Is he asleep?" she asked.

"Yeah, he went right to sleep," replied Remus. "Did he get a nap today?"

"No," replied Hermione.

"He needs his nap, Hermione," said Remus. "That's why he was so cranky."

"I know that," said Hermione shortly. "But what can I do if he won't sleep."

"You have to patient," he said as he gathered plates, cups, and silverware.

"I'm doing the best I can," snapped Hermione.

Remus turned and stared at his wife's back. "I know that," he said. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder. She stiffened in his arms. Then shrugged him off and brought dinner to the table.

Remus followed her and sat down. "Long day?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "Why don't you tell me about your day?"

"Nothing special happened."

"Dumbledore had you watching Walden MacNair," commented Hermione.

Remus nodded. "But nothing happened."

Hermione put the food on their plates and sat down. "It's been a while since I've been on a mission for the Order," she said. "I'm thinking about asking Dumbledore to send me back out there."

Remus put his fork down loudly. "What?"

"It's been months," shrugged Hermione.

"You have a baby," said Remus.

"So do you," answered Hermione.

"We can't both be out there," he said.

"I agree," said Hermione.

Remus sat back and stared at her. "What's going on? Why all this sudden interest in getting back out there?"

"Remus, I need to feel useful," said Hermione. "After all this time, if you don't know that about me…"

"Of course I know that about you," he said. He stood and slid his chair over so that he was sitting right next to Hermione. "I know everything about you. I know you better than I know myself." He raised his hand and brushed a lock of her hair from her face. "I just assumed that taking care of Nathaniel was a useful thing to do."

Hermione turned her face away. "Of course it is. Forget it, I'm just tired."

"Well I'll be home tomorrow," said Remus. "I'll make sure you get to sleep in."

Hermione looked back at Remus and smiled slightly. "Okay," she said.

"Okay," he repeated and leaned over and kissed her. "I love you so much, darling," he whispered and he kissed her again.

Hermione closed her eyes, giving herself over to the feel of his mouth on hers and his arms around her body.

"I love you," he repeated.

"Me too," she said quietly. "Me too."

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The next day Hermione left Nathaniel at home with Remus while she ran some errands. She was just leaving the grocery store when a figure dressed completely in black stepped in front of her. She gasped and took a quick step back. She looked up to see Severus Snape blocking her path.

He was dressed like a muggle and his medium length black hair was swinging in his face.

"You scared me to death," she started, but his eyes warned her to stay quiet. With the smallest nod of his head, he indicated she should follow him.

Looking around as carefully as she could to make sure no one saw them, she followed him into a darkened alley.

"What are you doing here?" she asked once they were alone.

"I had to see you," he answered. "I need a favor."

"You shouldn't be meeting me," said Hermione, glancing around to make sure they were still alone. "Voldemort may be having me watched or even you."

Snape sneered at her. "Are you losing your nerve? This is a dangerous game you've been playing. Can't you stomach it anymore?"

"What do you want?" glared Hermione.

"Not here," said Snape, grabbing her arm and pulling her further into the alley. "We need someplace more private. Let's go to your place."

"No, we can't," said Hermione quickly.

"Why not?" asked Snape impatiently.

"Remus and I agreed we wouldn't expose Nathaniel to all of this."

"Nathaniel?" questioned Snape.

"Our son," supplied Hermione.

"That's right," said Snape slowly. "You were ready to pop out a kid last time I saw you." Snape thought for a minute. "Well I can't think of any other place that's secure. It'll have to be your place," he finished and then with a pop he apparated.

"Damn it," Hermione swore before apparating back home. "Severus, you can't be here," she snapped when she arrived home.

Severus frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?"

"Hermione, are you back?" called Remus.

Hermione's eyes went wide with panic.

"We have to do some laundry," he called out, his voice approaching. "Nathaniel just spit up on my last clean shirt." Remus was holding Nathaniel propped up against his shoulder and wiping away a giant deposit of baby spit-up with his free hand. He pulled up short as he entered the room and saw Snape standing beside his wife.

He clenched his jaw. "Hermione," he began angrily.

"Oh unclench, Lupin," drawled Snape.

"Get out of my house," said Remus.

"I have business with your wife," returned Snape.

"Hermione, what's he talking about?" asked Remus.

Hermione rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. "I have no idea, but I'm willing to find out."

"I'm going to put our son down for a nap," said Remus icily. "And then I'm coming back." He turned and left the room.

"You might as well sit down," said Hermione.

"Your hospitality is overwhelming," said Snape sarcastically.

"Just sit," replied Hermione. He did and Hermione joined him.

"Your son looks like you," said Snape after a few moments of silence.

"Everyone says he looks like Remus," said Hermione with a smile.

Snape shrugged and didn't say another word until Remus came back.

"Tell us what you want and then get out," said Remus as soon as he entered the room.

"Not much for small talk, are you Lupin?" sneered Snape.

"Severus, just tell me what's going on. Are you in trouble?" asked Hermione. "Have they found out about you?"

"No," said Snape. "The thing is, there's someone else that I think might want out."

"Someone else who you think might want out?" repeated Hermione.

"A friend of mine," continued Snape. "He's been expressing some concern."

Hermione looked doubtful.

"Right, we're supposed to believe a Death Eater wants out," said Remus.

Snape glared at him. "More than that, I think he'd be willing to turn spy."

"Who?" asked Hermione.

"It's an old friend of mine," said Snape elusively.

"Why does this old friend want out?" asked Remus. "I thought you guys joined for life. You have a secret handshake and everything, don't you?"

"Remus," warned Hermione. She turned to Snape. "Who is it?"

"Lucius Malfoy," said Snape.

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A/N: Hi! I tried to answer everyone. If your exact question isn't here, the answer might be here in some form or another. Possible spoiler alert.

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Question 1: Will Lily and James still die? Maybe

Question 2: Is Hermione ever going to go home? The decision will come in the next to last chapter of the story. Despite what Hermione says, she will still have to choose whether to stay or go and it won't be an easy decision.

Question 3: Is Nathaniel the one? Nathaniel Lupin and The Sorcerer's Stone. I don't know, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it. But, who says that Voldemort will live this time.

Question 4: What will happen to Nathaniel **IF** Hermione goes back? He'll grow up without his mother.

Question 5: Is Nathaniel going to die? Oops, can't answer that one.

Question 6: When will the door reappear? Sorry, another question I can't answer. It would give away everything.

Question 7: What is Hermione's mission and will she accomplish it? You don't really want to know that, do you?

Question 8: Does Dumbledore really know what Hermione's supposed to be doing? The future Dumbledore does, the past Dumbledore does not.

Question 9: Why did Dumbledore send her back in time? The answer lies in OOTP. Guilt.

Question 10: What are Remus's parent's real feelings about Hermione now? Mr. Lupin is pretty easy going and just wants his son happy. Mrs. Lupin knows Hermione is lying about something, but she adores her son and now her grandson and is willing to give Remus the benefit of the doubt in his choice of a wife. By the way, everyone was much too hard on Mrs. Lupin in their reviews. She has every right to be suspicious of people when it comes to her son. Hermione understood.

Question 11: Will the story continue in Harry, Ron, and younger Hermione's time frame? If it does it will be in sequel, not this story.

Question 12: When will the story end? The story was never supposed to be this long. I had it completely mapped out, but it sort of took on a life of its own. There were a few subplots that I lost control of like the whole Sirius being in love with Hermione thing. For some reason I couldn't get away from the chemistry between the two of them. I added Laura, but then I had to get rid of her because she wasn't really working out. The story will last about another year in their timeline. I can't promise how many chapters that will be. I might do another time jump somewhere. Think of this as Act 4 in a 5 act play.

Question 13: Will Hermione save the Potter's only to have their fate fall on her, Remus, and Nathaniel? Maybe.

Question 14: Am I an H/Hr Shipper? Have I ever written a Hermione/Harry fic. Yes. It's called The Way To A Hero.

Question 15: Before Hermione came back in time was she in love with either Ron or Harry? No. Remus is her first and only love. And in case you're wondering she is his. Part of my inspiration for this story was Lynn Kurland's wonderful novel A Dance Through Time. In it, Jamie (the hero) tells Elizabeth (the heroine) "Perhaps we chose each other long ago, but time somehow erred. Now it has wrought the impossible to bring us together.

Question 16: Will the future Harry and Ron come to the past? No.

Question 17: Did Hermione really change time? Yes.

Question 18: Will the future Harry and Ron make another appearance? Maybe one last time, but probably not.

Question 19: Is Sirius over Hermione? He thinks he is.

Question 20: Is Hermione going to get a chance to 'encounter' her past, which is now her future? I'm not quite sure how to answer this. She won't ever be formally introduced to her former self. The paradoxes that would result are entirely too complicated for me to handle.

Question 21: Will Decree 47 ever be repealed? I haven't decided yet.

Question 22: If Lily and James don't die, and Harry grows up with his parents, then isn't it possible that young Hermione will never go into the past? Remember, it was Dumbledore who sent her back in the first place without her consent.

Question 23: Will Draco be in the story? Hmm. That's an interesting question.

Question 24: Are there two Hermione's now? Yes.


	60. Chapter 60

"Malfoy," yelled Hermione. "Are you out of your mind?" She raked her hands through her hair and began pacing the room. "My God, you can't be serious. Severus, please tell me you didn't blow your cover to Malfoy."

"Of course I didn't," Snape snapped back. "What's so shocking about Malfoy wanting out from under the Dark Lord? He's married now and he has a son. I think he's worried about what his being a Death Eater will mean for them."

Hermione whirled on him. "Malfoy is an evil bastard."

"Malfoy is from one of the oldest wizarding families around. He's well respected by the Ministry and by the Dark Lord. He would be an incredible ally," said Snape coldly.

"He's more obsessed about being pure blood than Voldemort," yelled Hermione.

Snape winced at Voldemort's name. "He's my oldest and most trusted friend," he insisted.

"Then you need new friends," snapped Hermione. "I wouldn't support Lucius Malfoy's entry into the Order if he handed us Voldemort's head on a platter."

"Stop saying his name," growled Snape.

"Don't yell at my wife," said Remus, stepping closer. "If she says no about Malfoy then that's the end of the discussion."

"You don't even know Malfoy," said Snape. "What right do you have to make that kind of judgement against him?"

"I know Malfoy," said Hermione icily. "I know what he's capable of. He's trapping you. Maybe you've forgotten, but it was Malfoy's home Remus and I were being held in over a year ago. Now I don't know how he found out about you, but he must know. There's no other explanation. You have to be more careful," she finished the last sentence at a yell. "It's not only your life we're dealing with here."

"Malfoy doesn't know anything," argued Snape. "His comments to me haven't revealed anything but worry. He's losing confidence that the Dark Lord will prevail. He'll come to our side because it's us who will win."

"Typical Slytherin," scoffed Remus. "He's sees that your fortunes are turning so he wants to switch teams."

"That's right," said Snape unapologetically. "Slytherins have a natural instinct to stay alive. Unlike Gryffindors we don't go running into danger for no reason whatsoever."

"You call fighting for the weak, for those who can't fight for themselves, no reason," asked Remus.

"Yes," replied Snape.

"All right, enough," shouted Hermione. "We're not getting into this argument."

"I agree," said Snape. "Will you help me or not?" he asked simply.

"No," snapped Hermione. "Aren't you listening to me? Malfoy is trouble. He's pure evil. And he's trying to trap you."

"Malfoy's no different than I was," argued Snape.

"You're wrong," said Hermione, stepping forward and putting her hand on his arm. "You're nothing like him."

"You know nothing about me," said Snape, pulling his arm away from her. "I'm exactly like Malfoy. Do you honestly believe I was a Death Eater and never got my hands dirty?"

"That's enough, Snape," said Remus. He took Hermione's hand and very subtly pulled her away from him. "She's told you no twice. That's the end of it."

"That's not the end of it," replied Snape. "If you want me to continue passing information to you then you'll at least consider this."

"Severus, please don't do this," begged Hermione. "You need to listen to me. Malfoy is setting you up. He's not to be trusted."

"I'm not to be trusted," said Snape. "Yet you trusted me. You trusted me with your life. And his for that matter," he said pointing at Remus.

"I know that," replied Hermione. "I trusted you at our most desperate moment. And now I'm asking you to trust me. If you pursue this thing with Malfoy, you will die. Voldemort will find out what you've been doing and he will kill you." Hermione stepped away from Remus and took Snape's hands. "Please," she whispered. "Please trust me."

Snape stared into her eyes and for a brief annoying moment wondered how anyone denied her anything. "I'll let this drop for now. But if Malfoy…"

Hermione threw her arms around him with relief. "Thank you, Severus."

Severus pulled away from her. "I guess I'll leave then," he said uncomfortably.

"Would you like to stay for a little while?" asked Hermione. "I could make some lunch or something."

Severus shot a look at Remus who was glaring at him. "Thanks," he said with a smile. "But I really must be leaving."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "It's been a while. Maybe we could catch…"

"You don't have to trouble yourself, Hermione," said Snape coldly. "We're not friends. We just work together."

Hermione frowned. "I just thought…"

"I'll be in touch through Dumbledore if necessary," said Snape.

Hermione nodded once.

Severus returned her nod then disapparated.

Hermione took a deep breath then exhaled before walking from the room.

"Hermione," called Remus, hurrying after her.

Hermione made her way into the kitchen and was busy pulling stuff out for lunch.

"Hermione," said Remus again. "What were you thinking bringing him here?"

"I didn't," she answered, keeping her back to him.

"Then why was he here?" he asked angrily, "in our house, where our son is?"

Hermione whirled around. "Don't do that," she snapped.

"Do what?"

"Act like you're the only one who cares about Nathaniel's safety."

"Well when you bring Death Eaters into our house you make me wonder."

"He's not a Death Eater," Hermione defended.

"Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater," countered Remus.

Hermione glared at him and then pushed past him and left the room.

Remus gave her some time to cool off before following her into their bedroom. Hermione was lying on the bed turned away from him. "Hermione," began Remus tentatively.

"Go away," she sniffed quietly.

He sat on the bed and put his hand on her shoulder. "Honey, I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Her shoulder shook in silent sobs and she pulled away from his touch. "Leave me alone."

Remus could never stand to see Hermione cry so he stood and went to the other side of the bed so he could see her face. "What's the matter?" he asked gently.

"Nothing, I just…" she sniffed. "Oh never mind," she cried and turned away from him.

"Hey," he said softly, reaching out and turning her back towards him. "What's the matter with my girl? You've been down for a little while now."

"Oh Remus," she cried and went into his arms.

He stroked her hair and held her tight, letting her cry against him. "You know, Madam Pomfrey said it was normal to feel a bit blue after giving birth."

"I don't have postpartum depression," she said, wiping the back of her hand across her nose.

"Then what is it?"

"I'm sorry I didn't stop Severus. You're right. We agreed to keep Nathaniel away from Order business."

"Forget it," said Remus. "I shouldn't have just flown off like that."

"No, you had every right to. I'm completely messing everything up."

"What are you talking about?" asked Remus.

"I'm a horrible mother."

"No you're not," said Remus.

"Yes I am," Hermione argued. "I can't handle it. I can't make him eat on time or nap on time. He never stops crying. I've read dozens of books and nothing helps. I'm failing."

Remus laughed gently which only made Hermione angry. "Hermione, there hasn't been a book written that's going to teach you how to be a good mother."

"Don't laugh at me," said Hermione, standing up. "Remus, just leave me alone." She left the room and this time Remus didn't follow her.

Later that night when they were in bed Remus tried once more to make amends with Hermione. He curled up next to her and put his arm around her waist. "Hermione," he whispered gently. "Talk to me, love."

"Remus, I'm tired," she said quietly.

Remus sighed and rolled away from her. He punched his pillow and tried getting comfortable, but it was a long time before he fell asleep.

Neither Remus or Hermione slept well that night and both of them woke up grumpy. They shuffled silently through their morning routine passing the baby off to each other while each of them showered and dressed.

Nathaniel, seeming to sense the tension between his parents, had the good sense to behave all morning.

"I have to work late today," said Remus, "another Order mission." He had Nathaniel in his lap and was busy feeding him his morning bottle so he didn't see his wife's face.

"So what else is new?" asked Hermione.

Remus looked across the table. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Nothing," said Hermione.

"Obviously you're still angry from yesterday," commented Remus.

"I'm not angry," she denied.

"Why don't you grow up, Hermione," he said angrily. "I'm doing the best I can."

"And I'm not?"

"I never said you weren't."

Hermione stood angrily and went around the table. She lifted Nathaniel from Remus' arms and took the bottle to finish. "Just go to work," she said, leaving the room.

"Hermione we're not done," said Remus, following her from the room.

Hermione ignored him and went to Nathaniel's room. She set him down in his crib and he immediately starting fussing.

"We're having a conversation here," Remus informed her, entering the baby's room.

"I don't want to speak with you right now," she said.

"Stop acting childish," he snapped.

"Don't you dare speak to me like that," said Hermione. "You only have one child and it's certainly not me." Nathaniel's cries started to get louder.

"Well then stop acting like a child."

"Remus, I swear to God…"

"We agreed to keep our life with the Order separate from our home life. We agreed we wouldn't expose Nathaniel…" began Remus, beginning the argument exactly where it had left off the night before.

"We're back to that?"

"Yes."

"Well I think you're being unreasonable," interrupted Hermione. "There's no difference between personal and professional in a war. It's all personal."

"We've managed it so far," argued Remus.

"That's only because I've been stuck at home while you…" she trailed off, feeling a tightening in her throat.

"Where is all of this coming from?" asked Remus, feeling truly bewildered.

"Would you just leave me alone, Remus," begged Hermione.

"No," he said, coming closer and putting his hands on her arms and rubbing them gently. "I don't want to leave you alone. I want you to talk to me."

"You don't want to hear this."

"Of course I do. It's obvious something is bothering you. If you can't talk to me who can you talk to?"

"You don't want to hear this," she repeated. "All you want to hear is how happy I am and how perfect our child is."

Remus paled and dropped his arms. "You're not happy with our life then?" he asked quietly.

"I didn't say that," she said quietly. "I love you and I love our son. I just…" she paused and tried to blink the tears back. "I just didn't expect it to turn out this way."

"Didn't expect what to turn out this way?" he asked warily.

"My life," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Remus stepped away from her as if she had slapped him. "Your life?" he asked. "Your life?" he repeated. He looked down at his feet and then picked up Nathaniel and slowly left the room.

Hermione followed him. "Where are you going?" she demanded.

Remus whirled on her and Nathaniel's cries were ringing in both of their ears. "I love you, but I'm tired of having the live with the constant threat that you might leave. So I'm going to do us both a favor and leave first." He leaned down and grabbed Nathaniel's diaper bag, which was waiting at the entrance of the house. "When you figure out what you want to do with 'your life,' you let me and your son know." Then he walked out and closed the door behind him.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

A/N: And the questions keep coming. Okay, I'll answer another one.

Question 1: Will Remus and Hermione have a baby girl? I've toyed around with the idea of more kids, but I'm not sure it will fit into the structure of the story.


	61. Chapter 61

It was three days before Hermione couldn't take it anymore and she went looking for Remus and Nathaniel. It wasn't as if he could have gone too many places so she hadn't really been worried that they were safe. What really worried her was that he hadn't come home after one night.

She had thought Remus just needed some time to cool off. They had never had such a big argument before and she was sure it had rattled him as much as it had rattled her. When he hadn't come home the next day she had, in all honesty, been annoyed. She sulked around the flat muttering about the childishness of men under her breath. By the second day, her annoyance had cleared and been replaced with worry. On the morning of the third day, a large boulder had settled itself in her stomach and her throat felt permanently constricted.

There weren't many places he could have gone with an infant. Hermione figured he was either staying with James and Lily or he had went to his parents. Her stomach did a little flip when she thought of his parents. It would be beyond humiliating to have to pick up her husband and child at her in-laws. Hermione took a deep breath. She would deal with that if she had to. She decided would go to Godric's Hollow and hope for the best.

She apparated to Godric's Hollow, getting as close as the wards would let and walked the rest of the way.

She used the giant knocker in the shape of a lion and waited for someone to answer the door. She didn't have to wait long. In moments, James threw open the door. She could tell he had been in the middle of getting ready for work. His robe was open and half falling off his shoulder and his hair, as usual, was sticking up in the back. Harry, who had been resting contentedly in his father's arms, immediately perked up when he saw Hermione. He started squirming and reaching for her.

"Hermione," said James, in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Hermione bit her bottom lip, before taking a deep breath and saying, "you haven't seen Remus, have you? I mean, he isn't here, is he?"

"No," replied James, his surprise evident. "Why would Remus be here?"

"Never mind," said Hermione, "forget I stopped by," she finished and began backing away.

"Wait a minute," said James. He grabbed her shirt sleeve. "Getin here," he ordered, dragging her easily into the house and shutting the door behind her. "What's going on? Oh, for the love of God," exclaimed James. Harry, who was indignant over not having been handed over to Hermione immediately, had taken a hold of his father's glasses and dropped them on the floor. "Here, take him before he has a real fit," said James, handing Harry to Hermione, then stooping to retrieve his glasses.

Hermione giggled and settled Harry on her hip. Harry grabbed a fistful of her hair and began babbling at her.

"So what's this about Remus?" asked James.

"It's nothing," blushed Hermione.

"Well obviously it is, if you're coming out here looking for him," said James bluntly.

"The truth is we had a fight and he left," confessed Hermione.

James smiled. "He probably just needs some time to cool off."

"He left three days ago," said Hermione. "And he took Nathaniel."

James stared at her in shock. "Three days," he repeated.

Hermione nodded.

"Sirius and I saw him yesterday. He didn't say a word."

It was obviously the wrong thing for James to say because Hermione began to cry.

"Uh… umm… Lily!" shouted James in panic. He had always been rubbish when dealing with crying women. He couldn't stand to see them cry, but he had no earthly idea how to stop them.

"James, what are you shouting at me for?" asked Lily, coming into the room. "Hermione!" she exclaimed. Then she saw her face. "What happened?" she asked with a tremble in her voice.

Hermione couldn't answer. Her throat wouldn't work properly.

"Remus left her," whispered James, but Hermione could still hear him and she began crying louder.

Lily rushed forward and hugged Hermione. "Come on, let's sit down and then you're going to tell us everything."

The three adults and Harry sat around the kitchen table. "Tell us what happened," said Lily gently.

Hermione took a deep breath and slowly began to relate everything that had happened. She told them about Snape coming over and the horrible fight that had followed. And once she had started talking she couldn't seem to stop so she told them how inadequate she felt as a mother and how useless she felt to the Order and then finally how badly she wanted to figure out what her mission was and get it over with.

"I just feel like Remus and I will never really be able to build our life together until that's out of the way."

James and Lily listened in silence. When Hermione had finished, Lily began gently, "but why would Remus leave?"

"He said he was leaving me before I could leave him," said Hermione sadly.

"Were you planning on leaving him?" asked James.

"No," shouted Hermione, startling Harry, who was still in her arms.

"Bah," he shouted back to her.

"Sorry," she said smiling and she kissed the top of his head. "I wouldn't leave Remus. I just can't let this go. I know that Remus is afraid, but what can I do?" asked Hermione.

"What do you think he's afraid of?" asked Lily gently.

"You'd have to ask him," replied Hermione bitterly.

"Hermione, be fair," said Lily. She kept her voice low and calm as she continued. "You're his world. I've never seen a man adore anyone as much as he adores you. You didn't know him when he was young, but we did. He was always very careful, guarded."

"She's right, Hermione," added James. "It was hard for Remus to let anyone in. We didn't understand back then, but you can imagine how much he feared rejection and abandonment."

"To be honest," said Lily. "I was surprised by how quickly he let himself fall in love with you. It wasn't like him to be so unguarded. I think he was helpless to fight it."

"He's certainly fighting it now," said Hermione stubbornly.

"That's not fair," snapped James. Hermione was taken aback by his angry tone. It was in sharp contrast to Lily's gentle, quiet one.

"James," warned Lily.

"No, I'm going to say this," said James. "Hermione, you haven't made things easy for Remus. He constantly feels like you'll leave him."

"But why?" asked Hermione.

"Because you did," said James.

Hermione stared at James, frowning.

"You left in the middle of the night once," he reminded her. "You left with Sirius."

"What?" questioned Lily. "What are you talking about, James?"

James ignored his wife and continued in a softer tone. "You know how Remus is. He'll forgive anyone he loves of anything. He never called Sirius and I out on anything back in school, even when we were out of line and we're his best mates. Imagine how much slack he's willing to cut you." James paused before continuing. "Didn't you think it was odd that he forgave you for sneaking out with Sirius to go to the Department of Mysteries?"

"Wait a minute," said Hermione. "How do you know all of this? Was it Sirius?"

"No, it was Remus," said James.

"Remus," repeated Hermione in surprise.

James nodded. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but I hope it will help the two of you. Remus came to me after the incident. He was really shaken up."

"He told me he wasn't angry," interrupted Hermione. "He told me he understood why I had to go."

"That's my point, Hermione," James shot back. "That's what he told you, that's not what he felt. He was scared and angry. But he would never tell you that because he was afraid the next time you really would leave."

Hermione stayed silent, processing what James was saying.

"And then after that, you and Sirius couldn't seem to stay away from each other."

"Now wait a minute," interrupted Hermione. "That's ridiculous."

"It's not ridiculous," said James. "We noticed."

"Lily?" questioned Hermione.

Lily looked down at her lap and gave a small nod. "It's just that you were so jealous of that girlfriend of his. What was her name? Lisa?"

"Laura," corrected Hermione automatically. She blushed. "And I wasn't jealous. I just didn't think she was good enough for him."

"Hermione, you can't have forgotten how Remus and I found you that one night. You were in his shirt," James pointed out.

"Nothing happened," said Hermione. "Sirius and I have never been anything but friends…"

"I think we all know that's not true," interrupted James.

"It is," argued Hermione. "It is true, we…"

"What about Christmas?"

Hermione froze.

Lily looked horrified. "Oh, Hermione, you didn't."

"No, we just kissed," said Hermione quickly. "I can't believe he told you that. We swore we'd never tell. He promised." Then a horrified look came over her and she clapped her hand over her mouth. "Remus doesn't know, does he?" she asked through her fingers.

James shook his head. "I think he always suspected that you and Sirius were attracted to each other, but he doesn't know anything for sure."

"None of this is fair for you to bring up," said Hermione. "That kiss happened before Remus and I were together. And as far as the other stuff, I would never have been at Sirius's if Remus hadn't been lying to me."

"I know that," said James. "I know you love Remus and I know that nothing ever really happened between you and Sirius. I'm just trying to get you to see what Remus has stored up. If this stuff had happened between Lily and I, we would have yelled, cried, and argued it out. Remus doesn't work like that."

"I know," said Hermione.

"So when you were trying to explain to him about how you needed to finish your mission, I'm sure all he was hearing was how you needed to go home after it was done."

Hermione sighed deeply. "I don't know how to convince him I'm going to stay."

"You can't," said James. "I know that you feel like there's no way you would leave now, but we're in the middle of a war. None of us knows how any day is going to end."

"You're just going to have to prove it to him," said Lily.

"Yeah, but first I have to get him to come home," said Hermione. She looked around the table. "Thanks, you two. I really needed to hear all of this, even if I didn't like hearing it."

"You can always come to us," said Lily.

"Yeah," agreed James.

Hermione stood and handed Harry back to Lily. "I think I'll go get my family now."

"I'll walk you to the door," offered James. "I meant what I said back there," said James when they had reached the door. "Lily and I will always be here for you. I know what you sacrificed for my family. It's a debt I'll never be able to repay."

"I…" began Hermione, but the sentence caught in her throat.

James looked at her curiously, but an awkward smile immediately replaced her startled look and she hugged him and left the house.

She had been about to say. I haven't done anything yet. 'Yet,' no word had ever been so chilling to her. Suddenly her fingers were itching for a quill and some parchment. In typical Hermione fashion, she forgot what she had been doing and where she had been going in her sudden desperate need for the library.

School was in session, but she knew Dumbledore wouldn't mind if she used the library at Hogwarts.

And though she hated using it, she knew the fastest way to Hogwarts was by the Knight Bus, so she stuck out her wand arm and waited. With a bang, the Knight Bus materialized and Hermione was on her way.

It took the better part of an hour, but finally she was sitting in the library, with a roll of parchment, a quill, and several heavy books around her. She worked diligently for several hours ignoring the students and professors who were coming and going. She skipped lunch, not even aware the hours had past until finally she was done. She ran her fingers along the curled edges of parchment and stared blankly ahead. She wasn't sure how long she sat and stared before she realized she had company.

"Finished, Mrs. Lupin?" asked a deep voice behind her.

Hermione turned in her chair. "Headmaster, how long have you been there?"

He smiled. "Long enough. It's good to see you again. It's been several months."

"Not since Nathaniel was born," Hermione confirmed.

"How is your son?" questioned Dumbledore.

"Well," she replied.

Dumbledore paused for several moments before saying, "may I ask what you've been working on so diligently these past several hours." Hermione picked up two pieces of parchment and handed them to Dumbledore.

With a raised eyebrow, he scanned the documents. After several minutes, he handed them wordlessly back.

Hermione looked at him expectantly, but he remained stubbornly silent.

"Headmaster, you see what this means, don't you?"

"I see what you think it means," said Dumbledore gravely. "But I'm not sure if that's the same thing."

"How can you say that?" she asked, placing the two pieces of parchment on the table in front of them.

On the two parchments were extremely detailed timelines. One timeline was history the way Hermione remembered before coming back in time and the other was history as it was now beginning from the day she arrived in 1977.

"Nothing has changed," explained Hermione in frustration.

"Many things have changed," corrected Dumbledore.

"Nothing important, we are still on the same course. All of the major driving points of this war are still here." She put her finger down on the timeline, "The massacre at Christmas, the creation of the Order, the Potter's deaths, the prophecy, everything is still leading to Halloween 1981." When Dumbledore didn't say anything, Hermione continued. "I know what I have to do now," she said. "I know why you sent me back. I have to kill Voldemort."

Suddenly Dumbledore looked stricken. "Hermione, don't even entertain that thought. The prophecy was very clear…"

"I don't believe in prophecies," she snapped, cutting him off. "And I am certainly not going to sit around and wait for Voldemort to come after Harry or worse, Nathaniel. I know how this story ends. Lily and James will be dead, Harry will be orphaned, Sirius will rot in Azkaban, and Remus," she paused. "It will be like the last three years never happened."

"You cannot possibly succeed in what you are thinking," said Dumbledore.

"Why else would you have sent me back?" she asked.

"I don't know," said Dumbledore quietly. "I doubt the wisdom of that decision often."

Hermione turned away. "I'm sorry I haven't lived up to your expectations, but I'm going to finish this now." She gathered her things and left the library. She didn't get far. Dumbledore stopped her a few feet from the library. "Hermione, don't do this," said Dumbledore. "You won't succeed."

"I will if you help me," she said hopefully.

"I will not send you into certain death," said Dumbledore.

"I can't do this without help," she said.

"I'm sorry," said Dumbledore.

Hermione took a deep breath. "Then I'll find someone who can help me."

Hermione knew she wouldn't come by any help honestly and now that Dumbledore knew what she was planning, it wouldn't be long before he went to Remus to warn him. She knew there was no way James would help her either. He'd know what she was about immediately. Sirius, on the other hand, might be easier to trick. Either way, she had to work fast.

She knew Remus would be furious when he found out what she was doing, but if everything went according to plan, she would be back soon and he and Nathaniel would never have to worry about her leaving ever again. She scribbled a quick note to Sirius and owled it to him, then she went to work.

Hermione was just finishing her letter to Remus when Sirius arrived. He let himself into the house. "I came as soon as I could," said Sirius. "Your note seemed serious."

"It was," said Hermione. "Did you come on your motorbike?" she asked.

"Of course, why?" he asked curiously.

"No reason," she said quickly. "I made some tea. Have some."

"No, I'm not thirsty," said Sirius. "Hermione, what is this about? Your note…"

"What about some water?" she asked.

"No…"

"A soft drink?" she insisted.

"Fine," said Sirius.

Hermione's face broke into a wide smile. "Good, I'll be right back." She went to the kitchen and returned in half a minute with his drink. She handed it to him and he took a few quick swallows.

"There, I've had a drink," he said. "Now will you tell me what's going on?"

Hermione walked around him and folded the letter she had been writing in half. "We don't have much time, so I need you to listenvery carefully. This letter is for Remus. I want you to be the one to give it to him."

"Hermione, what are you going on about?"

"Listen," she demanded. "I won't be gone long, a couple of weeks at most."

"Where… Where are you…" Sirius stumbled. "I feel… I feel strange."

Hermione came closer to him and guided him to a seat. "Sit."

"I'm tired," said Sirius, and he closed his eyes.

"Stay awake, Sirius," Hermione begged.

"Huh?"

"I put a sleeping draught in your drink."

"You what?" exclaimed Sirius, suddenly awake again.

Hermione put her hand over his mouth. "I need to borrow your motorbike," continued Hermione. "I have to do this and I can't let you follow me. You give this letter to Remus and you keep him here."

"Hermione, what are you planning?" asked Sirius, and his words slurred together.

Hermione thought about lying, but she wanted to confess. The way soldiers confessed to priests before going off into battle. "I'm going to kill Voldemort," she said quietly.

"What? No!" Sirius reached out and gripped her arms. He tried to pull himself up, but his limbs wouldn't work properly and they both sank to the floor. "Why are you doing this?" he begged of her.

"Because it's the reason I was sent. If I don't, they'll all die."

"Please don't do this," he said. Hermione could tell he was losing the battle against the sleeping draught. She wasn't sure how he managed to remain conscious this long.

"I have to," she whispered. "I want you to promise me that you'll keep Remus and Nathaniel safe."

"What about you?"

"I'll be okay, if I know they're okay. Now promise me."

Sirius reached up and cupped her cheek. "Why you?"

"You know why," she said.

Sirius stared up into her deep brown eyes. "Don't," he begged.

She leaned down and kissed him lightly. "I'll be okay. I know I will."

Sirius closed his eyes and was breathing deeply. "Hermione," he mumbled.

"Tell Remus I love him," she whispered. "And if anything happens," she reached into her pocket and pulled out a second note, "give this to Lily." She pressed both letters in his hand and closed his fingers around them.

When she was sure he was finally asleep, she arranged him as comfortably as she could on the floor and then stood, grabbedthe bag she had packed earlierand left the house.


	62. Chapter 62

Sirius struggled to make it to the front door of James and Lily's. The sleeping draught Hermione had given him had been powerful and he'd been out for hours. He wasn't really sure how long it had been, but it was dark now and he knew many hours had passed.

He leaned heavily against the door and banged on it. He nearly fell over when the door opened.

"Sirius," exclaimed James. He grabbed his best friend and helped him into the house. "What happened? Was it Death Eater's?"

"No," moaned Sirius. "It's Hermione, she drugged me."

"What are you talking about?" asked James.

"Help me into the house, James," said Sirius.

"Lily, come quick," shouted James.

Lily hurried into the front hall. "Oh my God, Sirius," she exclaimed. She hurried forward and helped her husband carry Sirius.

"Hermione's gone," he said. "We have to contact the Order. She's on a suicide mission."

"What do you mean?" asked Lily. "We just saw her this morning."

"When?" asked Sirius. "What did she say?"

Lily looked at James, not sure if they should break her confidence.

"She and Remus are having some problems…" began James uncomfortably.

"What kind of problems?" asked Sirius.

"It was nothing," said Lily.

"She's gone," snapped Sirius. "She's got it into her head that she's got to kill Voldemort."

"What?" exclaimed both James and Lily simultaneously.

"She asked me to come over this afternoon. She slipped me a sleeping draught and then she gave me a note to give to Remus. There was one for you too, Lily," he said, handing Lily one of the notes in his hand. "She took my motorbike and she left. I couldn't stop her. She made sure of that."

James stood up suddenly.

"Where are you going?" asked Lily.

"To get Remus," said James simply.

"We don't know where he is," said Lily.

"I know. I'll be right back." James went to the fireplace and then he was gone.

Lily unfolded the note Sirius had handed to her. He watched her as she read. When tears started falling down her cheeks, Sirius rubbed her shoulders. "What did she say?" he asked quietly.

Lily sniffed and said brokenly. "She said that if anything happens, she wants me to make sure Nathaniel knows what it's like to have a mother."

"She knew this was suicide," said Sirius. "Why would she do this now?"

"She and Remus had an awful fight," confessed Lily. "But everything was okay when she left. She said she was going to get them and bring them home."

"What do you mean bring them home?" asked Sirius, through gritted teeth. "Where's Remus?"

"They just had a fight, Sirius," said Lily. She looked back down at the note. "I can't believe she left, after everything we talked about."

"Did she and Remus break up or something?" questioned Sirius.

"Not exactly," Lily mumbled.

"Then what?"

Lily was saved from having to answer by a sudden noise at the fireplace. James popped out first, followed quickly by Remus. He looked frantic. "Where did she go?" Remus demanded.

Sirius stood jerkily. Remus advanced on him. "Why didn't you stop her?" he growled. "She would have listened to you. She always listens to you."

"I tried," said Sirius, gripping Remus's shoulders. "She drugged me."

Remus looked like he was barely holding it together. "What did she say?" he begged. "She must have given you some indication of where she was going."

"She didn't," he replied. "She left this for you," he said, handing Remus the letter. Then he sat down, with a thump. He still felt completely drugged. "She never listens to anyone," he said quietly. "She's so damned stubborn. She always thinks she knows…" his voice started to crack. "Everything," he finished, and then he closed his eyes and bowed his head.

Remus, who had been reading the note, crumbled it in his hand. "You're acting like it's too late to stop her," he yelled angrily. "We have to find her."

"We'll never find her," said Sirius. "She's got my motorbike and she's been gone for hours."

"Shut up, Sirius," said Remus, grabbing the front of his robes. "We will find her."

"Remus, let him go," said James, and he grabbed at Remus' hands and pried them apart.

"You helped her, didn't you," Remus accused Sirius angrily.

"Of course I didn't help her," Sirius yelled back.

"Admit it," growled Remus. "You helped her just like last time."

"What are you talking about?"

"The Department of Mysteries," spat Remus. "You helped her then and you helped her now."

"That was completely different," argued Sirius. "She wasn't in any danger then. I would never do anything that would put her in danger."

"Wouldn't you," snapped Remus.

"Of course not," yelled Sirius. His head was pulsating and he was too angry to measure his words. "Don't blame me for this when you're really blaming yourself. Why did she come to me in the first place? Why didn't she feel like she could go to you?"

Remus stared angrily at Sirius, but didn't say word.

Sirius was too angry and frightened at this point to stop. "Maybe she came to me, because you make it impossible for her to go to you. Saint Remus always knows best. She comes to me because I don't expect her to be my perfect ideal."

"Stop it, both of you," shouted Lily. "We don't have time to argue amongst ourselves. If we don't do something fast, Hermione is really going to get hurt, or worse." She glared at Remus and Sirius. "I'm going to call the Order," she said and she left the room.

James stared at his two best friends. They looked like they wanted to kill each other. He knew they were both too frightened right now to see past their anger so he didn't try to make things better. Instead he asked Remus, "What did her letter say?"

Remus turned and stared at James, as if he forgot he was even in the room. "What?"

"Hermione's letter? What did it say?"

"Uhh, nothing. Nothing important anyway." Remus took the letter that was crumbled in his fist and smoothed it flat, before folding it in half and sticking it in his pocket. Remus sank into the first available seat he saw. "I should have known she would try something like this," he said under his breath.

"We'll find her, Remus," said James. "It'll be okay."

Less than a half hour later, most of the Order was assembled in the middle of James and Lily's living room. Another half hour after that, they sent out search parties in groups of two or three.

One week later, there was still no sign of her.

Two weeks after that, Voldemort and his Death Eater's attempted to assassinate the Minister of Magic. Any member of the Order that worked for the Ministry was forced to give up the search for Hermione to act as extra security at the Ministry of Magic.

James and Sirius asked for a leave of absence so they could continue the search, but they were denied. No one could be spared. There wasn't a single wizarding family that hadn't experienced some kind of loss because of the war. The head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement didn't see why James and Sirius should be an exception because one of their school friends had gone missing.

Remus and Nathaniel moved into Godric's Hollow so Lily could be with Nathaniel while he looked for his wife. His parents had offered to keep Nathaniel for awhile, but Remus refused. Somehow it seemed like a betrayal to Hermione, an even bigger one than when he had run to his parents before, leaving her alone to make such a drastic decision.

Often late at night, Remus would re-read the letter she had written to him. She had begged him to understand why she was leaving. She told him she loved him and wanted to be with him forever, but they would never have a chance if she didn't do this. The letter comforted and tormented him at the same time. The guilt he felt over having left her threatened to overwhelm him sometimes. And if he didn't concentrate on staying strong for his son, he knew he would lose himself to the panic that stalked him every minute of the day.

The days passed stubbornly on and there was no sign of her, but they refused to just give up on her. They knew she would never give up on them

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Lily sang softly to Harry as he drifted off to sleep in her arms. Nathaniel was sleeping soundly on the King sized bed she and James shared. It was past one in the morning, and all three men were still out searching.

It had been three weeks since Hermione had left and there hadn't been a single solitary clue indicating where she had gone. One thing was certain however, she had not succeeded in killing Voldemort. The Death Eaters were bolder than they ever were and there had been several reports of Voldemort being spotted throughout England. Of course, as soon as the Ministry officials arrived on the scene, there was no evidence he had even been there. None of this was a good sign. And though she would never admit it out loud, deep down, Lily began to believe they would never see Hermione again.

Once Harry was asleep she lowered him onto the bed, next to Nathaniel. The boys turned in their sleep towards each other. Lily couldn't bear to move them into the nursery. She usually put them to sleep in her bed when James and Remus were out, just in case. Though the wards James and Dumbledore had set up were powerful, Lily still didn't feel completely safe, even in her own home.

A little less than an hour later, Lily heard the front door open and close. She gripped her wand and peeked out the bedroom door. She could tell it was James and the boys immediately. She peeked back at the sleeping babies one last time before heading downstairs.

The scene that greeted her tore at her heart. Remus was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, sobbing. Sirius was leaning heavily against the wall, staring out the window into the night sky.

Lily looked to James, her face stricken. He went and enveloped her in a massive embrace. "We found the motorbike," he whispered in her ear.

"Hermione?" she mouthed.

He shook his head. "There was no sign of her."

Lily let him hold her for a few more seconds before going to Remus. She put her arms around him and held him tight while he cried. "It doesn't mean anything," she said. "You can't give up hope." But her words sounded hollow, even to her.

"Where's Nathaniel," asked Remus, once he managed to get a hold of himself.

"Upstairs, in my bed, with Harry," replied Lily.

He nodded and stood. Lily watched him go upstairs, before she turned to James and Sirius. "Is there any hope?" she asked quietly.

"There's always hope," said James tiredly. "Just not much. We've looked absolutely everywhere and questioned everyone we know. Nobody has seen or heard anything."

"Or they're not talking if they have," said Sirius bitterly. Sirius wasn't doing any better than Remus. If possible he was doing worse. Sirius didn't have Hermione's son to comfort him at night. All he had was the memory of a few stolen kisses that did nothing but haunt his dreams. He knew he didn't have the right to grieve the way Remus did, but that didn't change the fact that the only woman he had ever really loved was missing and probably dead.

He had been so stupid to think he was over her. He had tried so often to convince himself that what he had felt was just a schoolboy crush. Her disappearance brought everything back to him painfully, and the fact that he had been the last to see her alive only made things worse. He should have known what she was planning, but he was so eager to help her with anything she wanted that he had raced over to her flat and not questioned the odd way she had been acting until it was too late.

Lily could see the pain all over Sirius's face. "Will you stay tonight?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head. "I should get home. We've got to be up in a few hours for work."

"I'd feel better if you stayed," Lily insisted.

Sirius smiled at her. "I'll be fine, don't worry. It's sweet of you to worry, but..."

"Actually, it's the babies I'm worried about. I'd feel better if there were more people here, in case anyone tries something."

"Oh," said Sirius in surprise. "Of course I'll stay then," he said quickly.

"Thank you," said Lily, breaking out in a smile. "Your old room's ready."

"I guess I'll just go to bed then," he said. "See you guys in the morning."

"Night, Padfoot," said James.

"Goodnight."

James turned to Lily, once Sirius was gone. "Ready for bed?"

She nodded and they went upstairs hand in hand. "James," began Lily, once they were in their room. "Are we ever going to see Hermione again?"

James sighed deeply. "I don't think so, love," he said quietly. "It was suicide what she did. I don't know what she was thinking."

Lily took a few deep breaths, trying to work around the lump in her throat. "I think she was desperate. James, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about that damn prophecy and what it might mean for Harry." They both turned and stared at their sleeping son.

"I won't let anything happen to either of you, Lily," said James.

"I know that," she said immediately.

"Why did you insist Sirius stay then?" asked James.

"Oh," Lily laughed lightly. "I told him I was worried about the babies because I knew that was the only way he would stay. I don't want him to be alone."

"Sirius can take care of himself," said James. "You really don't have to worry about him."

"He's not in a good place right now, James," Lily insisted. "He's trying not to show it, but his heart is completely broken. He loved Hermione."

James sat wearily on the bed and stretched out next to his son. He stroked Harry's back gently, loving the soft cozy feel of him. "I know," he said softly. He reached his hand out for Lily. She took it and stretched out on the other side of their son. They enveloped him in a protective barrier. "I wish she had never come," he whispered in a tortured confession.

Lily reached out and touched his face. "You don't mean that," she said.

"I do," he insisted. "How could she have been so stupid?" he said angrily. "Nathaniel will grow up without a mother. I don't think Remus will ever be the same, and Sirius…" He trailed off. "It's too much, Lily."

"I know," she agreed. "It's okay to be angry, James. That doesn't mean we didn't love, Hermione. We just have to be there for everyone else."

James nodded.

"I'd like to ask Remus and Nathaniel to stay with us for awhile," Lily asked.

"If you want," he said.

"I just don't want Remus to be alone."

"Okay," said James.

"Hermione begged me in her letter to make sure Nathaniel never knows what it's like to not have a mother," she cried softly.

"They can stay forever," said James, squeezing her shoulder. "Just don't cry, love. I can't stand seeing you cry."

"I love you," she whispered, wiping her tears away.

"I love you too," he replied. They lay quietly in bed for several minutes.

"Should I put Harry in the nursery?" asked Lily. "You need some sleep."

"No," said James. "Leave him here with us. I don't want him in another room tonight."

Lily smoothed Harry's hair and kissed the top of his head. "I don't know what I'd do if we ever lost him."

"Don't even think it, Lily. It'll never happen," said James fiercely. "It will never happen."

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Spring turned into summer and everyone did their best to get into a routine. They worked and they watched out for each other. If it weren't for the fact that there was a war raging all around them, there lives would have been very boring.

One day in mid July, Remus and Lily were playing with the boys in the living room. To be more precise, they were arguing while they watched their sons play together.

"I can't stay here forever, Lily," said Remus.

"I know that," she replied.

"I don't think you do," he continued. "I've mentioned moving back home at least three times and you always come up with some reason we can't."

"Remus, what's the difference if you live here or with your parents?" she asked.

"All the difference in the world," he said. "It's not like you and James even let me help out around here. You won't take any money…"

"We don't need any," argued Lily. "You're not an inconvenience."

"Lily, this can't go on forever," said Remus. Nathaniel crawled up to his father and pushed a ball at him. Then he toddled back to Harry and continued their nonsensical conversation.

"You don't want to separate the boys," said Lily, changing her argument. "They're like brothers."

"But they're not. I want them to be close as much as you do. But I have to be responsible for him. I don't want him growing up depending on people."

"There's nothing wrong with depending on people, Remus. We're all depending on each other, especially now that Hermione…"

"I don't want to talk about that," Remus shouted.

Harry and Nathaniel stopped in their play and stared at the adults.

Lily bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I just…"

"Lily, you're not going to change my mind this time. I appreciate you letting Nathaniel and I stay with you while I… well you know, but we've already more than worn out our welcome. We'll be fine at my parents. And it's not like we'll never see each other. We'll be by a lot."

"At least wait until after the boy's birthday. I wanted to make their first birthday special."

Remus nodded. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."

Remus looked away from Lily. "Everyday I hope tomorrow will be easier to be without her and it never is. I have to find some way to accept that she's gone."

Lily listened quietly. Remus never talked about Hermione. She knew he needed to talk.

"You know I'm angry with her," he confessed. "But worse, I'm angry at myself. She wouldn't have tried what she tried if I hadn't left. I condemned Nathaniel to grow up without his mother. He'll never know what a brilliant, beautiful, funny person she was."

"He will know," said Lily. "Remus, we'll never let Nathaniel forget what his mother was like."

Remus eyes grew bright with unshed tears. "I miss her."

Lily covered her heart with her hand. "I know. None of us know what you're feeling. I don't think I can begin to imagine it. But we all love you so much and we're here for you."

"It's been four months and I still can't quite make myself believe she's gone," he continued. "If only…"

"If only what?"

"It's morbid, but if only we had a body. I could accept that. But this nothingness, not knowing what happened to her, it's unbearable."

"There may never be any evidence, Remus," said Lily quietly.

He sighed. "I know. I'm trying to accept that." He stayed quiet for a long time. "Maybe I was never meant to keep her long. She didn't belong to me, no matter how desperately I wish she did." He reached out and touched his son lovingly. "At least I have him," he said with a soft smile. "He's the only thing that gives me any comfort."

"I know it doesn't seem like it now," said Lily. "But things will get better."

Remus smiled sadly at her. "I hope so."

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"James will you please go move the furniture around in the living room," Lily commanded. "People will be coming any time now."

James glanced at Remus and rolled his eyes. Remus grinned back. "Come on, I'll help you," he said.

It was July 31st and Harry James Potter and Nathaniel Remus Lupin were both one year old. Lily had done everything she could to make the day special for both boys. She was determined to make some happy memories for them, despite everything that was going on.

She could hear twin squeals coming from upstairs. As Godfather to both boys, Sirius had been given the job of dressing and bringing them downstairs for the party, while James and Remus finished decorating the house and Lily finished the food. "Sirius, you better be getting them dressed," she yelled.

"Chill, Lil," he said arriving downstairs with a boy on each hip. "See they're dressed."

Lily looked over the boys. "Those aren't the outfits I laid out," she pointed out.

"You mean that stuff you laid out wasn't a joke?" he asked in genuine surprise.

"Of course not," she huffed. "What was wrong with those clothes? I bought them special."

"They matched," said Sirius in horror. "And they looked like sailor outfits. Lily, the boys are going to subject to the pictures we take today for the rest of their lives. They can't wear those outfits."

"Go back upstairs and change them," she ordered, pointing her finger up.

Sirius looked down at his Godsons, "I tried," he murmured. "Don't blame me when you're eighteen and these are the pictures she pulls out for your girlfriends."

"Go," Lily ordered.

Sirius sheepishly trudged back upstairs and Lily returned to her frantic cooking. A few minutes later the doorbell rang and Lily shrieked in horror.

"Its okay, Lily," called Remus from the other room. "I'll see who it is and send them away for another fifteen minutes."

"Don't you dare," she yelled and then laughed at herself for taking him seriously. "Just get the door."

Remus laughed on his way to answering the door. For the first time in months, he felt happy. Lily had outdone herself, trying to make the day special. Hermione would have been so thankful. He was thankful. "Who is it?" he asked at the door. There was no answer. "Hello?" He opened the door a crack and didn't see anybody. He was about to shut it, when he saw something at his feet. Remus threw open the door and stepped outside.

A figure was sitting against the house, with their legs hugged close to their chest and a mass of brown hair covering their bent head.

In a daze, Remus got down on his knees and put his hands on the person's shoulders. They looked up and locked eyes with him. "Hermione?" he breathed in shock.

"Help me," she said in a strained voice, before her eyes fluttered close and she slumped forward into Remus's arms.

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A/N: Okay it is official. I am beginning the countdown until the end of this fic. I can't say for certain, but I think there will only be five or six more chapters and I am really inspired, so I think the updates will start coming faster. It's probably wishful thinking, but I kind of want to finish before HBP comes out. Once it does, I know nobody is going to pay a bit of attention to my little fic. So keep the reviews coming to keep me inspired and here we go! BTW - The last two chapters got the best response I ever had. You guys are the best!


	63. Chapter 63

Remus stumbled back into the house with his wife's body tucked safely in his arms. "Help," he yelled once he was in the house. The urgency in his voice made everyone come running from all over the house.

Lily stopped dead when she saw who Remus was carrying. James rushed to her, thinking she was going to faint dead away. Sirius, still with two one year olds in tow, set the boys down on the floor and rushed forward to help Remus.

"What happened to her?" he asked frantically.

"I don't know," replied Remus. "She just fainted." He laid her down on the empty couch and knelt beside her. "She's breathing," he announced, more for himself than anyone else.

Hermione moaned and tilted her head in the direction of her husband's voice.

"Hermione," he said softly, hopefully.

James and Lily moved closer and gazed at Hermione intently. Sirius, who was standing near her head, reached down and felt her pulse. It was really just an excuse to touch her, to prove that she was flesh and blood and not just some apparition.

"Remus," she said breathlessly.

"I'm here, love," he answered, taking her hand in his and pressing it to his lips. "I'm here."

She opened her eyes and sighed. "Where am I?" she asked.

"At James and Lily's," he answered. "Don't you remember?"

Hermione looked around and saw the concerned faces of her friends. They were all staring down at her as if she were a ghost. "I don't know," she said slowly. There was a complete state of confusion over her face. She searched for Remus's face and locked onto his eyes.

"Hermione, where have you been?" asked Lily.

Hermione tore her gaze from Remus to look at Lily. "I don't understand," she said in confusion.

"It's been four months," said Sirius quietly.

"Four months," she mouthed in shock. "What do you mean? How can that be?"

"You disappeared," said Remus. "We looked everywhere for you, but there was no sign. We thought you were dead." His voice shook as he spoke that last sentence, then he laid his head down on her chest and held her tightly. Her hand drifted up to his head, and she stroked his hair softly.

"That can't be right," she said, after a while. "It can't have been four months."

"It has been," said Remus, lifting his head. He framed her face with his hands. "You're really here," he sighed. "I can't believe you're here."

A sudden cry caught everyone's attention. Nathaniel and Harry had tired of being ignored and were making their presence known. Hermione sat up a little and stared at the babies. Nobody moved. Then Nathaniel pulled himself to his knees and crawled to his father. He lifted his arms and whimpered. Remus picked him up and deposited him in Hermione's arms. Mother and son stared at each other and then Hermione closed her eyes and pulled him closer, breathing his scent in. It was only then that her tears started. "I didn't recognize him," she cried. "He's too big. When did he get so big?"

"He's one today, Hermione," said Remus quietly and she cried more.

"I'm going to contact Dumbledore," said Lily quietly. "He has to be told." Then she excused herself quietly.

Remus was murmuring quietly to his wife and son. James went around them and pulled Harry up and into his arms. Then he passed Sirius, snagged his arm and pulled him from the room. "Let's give them a minute alone," he said quietly. Sirius nodded.

"This is incredible," said Sirius, once they were outside the room.

"I know," agreed James. "I can't believe it."

Lily came into view. "Dumbledore's on his way," she announced quietly. "He's bringing Madam Pomfrey with him to check over Hermione."

James nodded. "Good."

"Where do you think she's been?" asked Lily. They all seemed to need to speak in hushed tones.

"I don't know," said James. "But it's obvious that someone has placed some kind of memory charm on her. And a powerful one at that to have blocked out four months."

"Do you suppose she really ran into Voldemort?" asked Lily.

Again James shrugged. "Possibly."

"But if she did, how did she manage to escape?" persisted Lily. "It's the impossible."

"She's done it before," said James. "Maybe she pulled off another miracle."

"Sirius, what do you think?" asked Lily.

Sirius was staring off into space and hadn't heard the question.

"Sirius," said Lily again.

His head jerked toward Lily. "What?" he asked.

She smiled sympathetically. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," he said. "I suppose if anyone could survive an encounter with Voldemort it would be her."

"We've all survived encounters with Voldemort," commented James. "More than once. But I don't know. Something about this doesn't feel right."

"How do you want it to feel?" asked Sirius. "She's back. Nothing else matters. We thought she was dead. To have her back…" he trailed off. "It's what we've all been praying for," he finished quietly.

"We'll just have to wait for Dumbledore," said Lily. "He'll be able to make her remember. I know he will."

But he couldn't. Neither Dumbledore nor Madam Pomfrey could lift the memory block on Hermione. They surmised that either Voldemort himself had cast the charm or no charm existed in the first place. They had to considerthe possibilitythat her memory loss was something other than magic.

Hermione quickly tired of being poked and prodded by the older witch and wizard. She wanted nothing more than a little food and a lot of sleep. When it became clear that other than her memory loss, she was completely healthy, except for a bit of exhaustion, they let her retire.

Remus led her to the room he currently occupied and put her immediately to bed. She could barely keep her eyes open. He pulled the covers up to her chin and sat next to her at the head of the bed. "I can't believe you're here," he murmured.

"Where else would I be," she mumbled with her eyes closed.

He smiled. "I'll be here all night," he said. "I won't leave you."

"You don't have to," she continued, never opening her eyes.

"I want to."

"No, don't. Its Nathaniel's first birthday. Go spend some time with him. I'll never forgive myself for ruining it."

"You didn't ruin anything," he admonished. "You gave our son the best gift in the world."

"Remus, please," she said, finally opening her eyes. "I won't be able to rest if you stay."

Remus couldn't quite keep the hurt from his eyes, but he wasn't about to deny her anything. "If you're sure," he hesitated.

She smiled softly and closed her eyes again.

Remus lingered for a couple of seconds, before leaning down and kissing her forehead. Then he stood and left. Not far from the room, Lily, James, and Sirius were pretending to clean up the party preparations.

They all stopped and looked at Remus expectantly. "She's sleeping," he announced. "Where are the boys?"

"Up in the nursery, napping," replied Lily. "How's Hermione doing?" she asked.

"All right, I guess," he said with a little shrug. "She's more worried about Nathaniel's birthday being ruined than herself. I think she'll sleep now."

"Did she say anything else?" asked James, "about where she's been."

"No," he shrugged. "She just needs some sleep. It'll come back to her."

"Let's hope so," said Lily.

"But even if it doesn't," Remus continued defensively. "I won't care. I'm just glad to have her back."

"I agree with Remus," said Sirius.

"Of course we're glad she's back," said Lily. "But not knowing where she's been for four months is disturbing. Who knows what's been done to her. Lots of times when muggles lose their memories, it's because something traumatic happened to them. If we don't know how can we help her?"

"Hermione's not a muggle," said Remus.

"I know," continued Lily. "I'm just concerned, that's all."

"We're all concerned," added James.

Remus nodded. "I couldn't ask for better friends than you guys. I know you all love her."

"We do," said Lily.

He ducked his head. "You don't mind if we stay for a while?" he asked quietly. "I know I said I was moving out with Nathaniel, but I don't think my parent's home is the best place for her right now. I want her around people who love her."

"Of course you'll stay," said James quickly. "We wouldn't hear about you leaving."

"Thanks," said Remus gratefully. "I'm going to check on Nathaniel and then I'll get back to Hermione."

Lily nodded. "Take care of your wife. We'll make sure Nathaniel is taken care of."

"Thanks," said Remus again, before heading to the nursery.

"I think I'd like to stay too, Lily," said Sirius, once Remus had left.

"Of course," said Lily in surprise. "You're always welcome."

Sirius could see James looking at him. "It's not what you think," he said. "I think she might still be in danger. If she escaped from him somehow, Voldemort will not be happy. And if she didn't…" he trailed off.

"You mean he might have let her go," said James. He nodded. "I'll admit the thought did cross my mind."

"If she was let go," Sirius continued. "None of us are safe."

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Hermione had been home for a few days now and still hadn't left the comfort of her room. Remus tried to stay with her as much as possible, but sleep was nearly impossible. Hermione woke seven or eight time a night and every time she got up, Remus was up.

It was four in the morning and she was returning from another trip to the bathroom. Remus propped himself up on his elbow. "Are you sick?" he asked tiredly.

"No," she said shaking her head. "I just can't sleep." She got back into bed and Remus wrapped himself around her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No," she said, squirming in his embrace. "I'm just restless." They were quiet for a long while. Then Hermione said slowly, "maybe we should sleep in separate rooms."

"What?" gasped Remus, shooting up in bed.

"It's just that you're not getting any sleep."

"Don't worry about that," he said. "I'm fine."

"You're tired," she said sympathetically. "You haven't gotten a night's rest since I've been back."

"I'll be fine," he insisted.

"And I don't have a baby to look after all day," she continued. "You're the one taking care of him."

"Hermione, do you want me to move out of our room?" he asked. The ache is his voice betrayed his hurt.

"Just for a little while," she pressed on quietly. "Not forever," she added quickly. "All I do is worry that I'm keeping you up and then I can't sleep, because I'm worried," she finished lamely. "It's just until I feel a little stronger."

Remus got up slowly and walked around the bed. He leaned down and kissed her softly. "Whatever you want," he said quietly. "I just want you feeling stronger."

"Thank you," she replied.

"I love you," he said, leaning down and kissing her again, lingering against her lips.

"I love you too," she said back.

He brushed the hair from her forehead feeling reluctant to leave. "Sleep, love."

She obediently closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Remus watched her for a few more seconds, before leaving the room.

The next afternoon, Remus passed by the room and noticed the door was open. He knocked lightly, before peeking in. Hermione was sitting up in bed and Sirius was kneeling beside her. Hermione's head was thrown back in laughter, so she didn't see Remus at first.

"Am I interrupting?" he asked, stepping into the room.

Hermione put her hand over her mouth, trying to control her laughter. "No, of course not. Come in." Remus moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You look better," he commented.

She nodded. "I think I managed to get a few hours of sleep, sometime after five."

"Good," said Remus with a smile. "So, what were you two talking about?"

"Sirius was just telling me stories from when you guys were boys," she said with a smirk. "I don't think I've met a bigger bunch of pranksters," she said. "And that is saying something."

Remus raised his hands. "I had nothing to do with any of it."

"Remus is the only reason we weren't expelled in our first year," agreed Sirius. "You can't imagine the stuff he talked us out of."

"I'll bet," she said. "Remus always was the responsible one."

There was a bit of an awkward pause, before Hermione continued. "You guys get out of here," she said. "I'm going to try and get some more sleep. I'm getting out of this bed tomorrow."

Sirius and Remus obediently stood. "Do you want me to bring you something to eat?" asked Sirius, before Remus could.

"Maybe later," she replied with a smile. "Now go," she shooed them away.

"She's looking much better," commented Sirius once they were outside.

Remus nodded. "Well, I better check on Nathaniel. He's been a bit fussy lately. There's been too much change in his life."

"That'll stop now that his mother's back," said Sirius.

"I hope so," said Remus, but he said it quietly so Sirius couldn't hear.

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"Hermione, where do you think you're going?" asked Remus. He had been in the kitchen fixing everyone lunch when he heard a noise at the front door. When he got there, he saw Hermione, fully dressed for the first time in days, with her hand on the doorknob.

"You caught me," she said with a blush.

Remus raised his eyebrows at her.

"I was a little restless," she confessed. "I thought I would go for a walk."

"I'll go with you," Remus offered.

"No," she said quickly. "You're in the middle of something and there's no one to watch Nathaniel or Harry. Everyone's out."

"We'll take them with us," he said. "Just give me a minute to get them ready."

"No, really," she insisted. "I'm sure Lily wouldn't want Harry out in this weather."

Remus laughed. "It's the middle of August."

"I know. It's hot. The hot weather's not good for them." She put her hand back on the doorknob and swung the door open. "I'll just walk around the grounds."

"Hermione," Remus began to protest, but she had already closed the door behind her. Remus sighed deeply before heading back to the kitchen.

Hermione walked close to the house for a few minutes in case Remus was watching her, before she slipped quietly into the woods adjoining James' property. She broke out into a run, once she was certain no one could follow. When she was about a quarter of mile into the woods, she stopped and looked frantically around, hoping she hadn't missed it.

A great rush of relief passed over her when she saw the old hat. She picked it up and waited. In about a minute, she felt the tug at her navel and closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes, she was no longer in the woods. She was instead surrounded in an immaculately clean room, furnished with lavish furniture and adorned with beautiful paintings. She had always loved this room.

"Bella!" exclaimed a familiar voice. "We expected you yesterday."

She sighed a long, laborious sigh. "I was unmercifully detained. How are things here?" she asked.

"Much of the same," the man replied.

"And our guest?" she asked.

He smirked. "Much of the same."

She laughed loudly.

"Oh, I'm dying to kiss you, but not looking like that. How much longer?"

"Less than a minute," she replied. They waited and then the change began. Massively curly brown hair, seemed to thin away into straight blond hair, brown eyes gave way to blue and tan skin shimmered and went pale.

"There's my Bella," said Rodolphus Lestrange, embracing his newly transformed wife in an overly passionate embrace.

"Oh, she's back," drawled a lazy voice from the side of the room.

Bellatrix Lestrange broke away from her husband. "Cousin," she murmured in acknowledgment to Lucius Malfoy.

"You were due back yesterday," he said directly.

"Yes well, I was having a bit of trouble extricating myself from the house. They were all a bit clingy after four months."

"Did they suspect?" he asked.

"Not a bit," she replied with an evil smile. "I even fooled Dumbledore."

"Good," said Lucius. "Our Lord is waiting for you."

Bellatrix walked straight backed to the room where Voldemort was currently residing. "My Lord," she murmured, bowing low.

"My faithful one," returned Voldemort. "Have you settled yourself into your new home?"

"I have, my Lord. The traitors suspect nothing."

"Excellent," said Voldemort. "And Dumbledore."

"He too is ignorant of my true identity."

"Good," he said. "You must be careful to limit his access to you. The longer he is around you, the more he will suspect."

"Yes, my Lord," she replied.

"What of the mudblood's husband?" asked Voldemort, "the werewolf she's married too."

"He will not be a problem. He's a fool who is completely besotted with his wife and will excuse her of anything."

"Tread carefully, Bellatrix," said Voldemort. "He will be around you the most. He must not suspect."

"He won't, my Lord," replied Bellatrix. "I will make sure of that."

"Do whatever you must to make sure," said Voldemort coldly.

Bellatrix nodded and was dismissed. She met her husband and cousin just outside the room.

"Well?" Rodolphus asked.

"He is pleased," she answered.

"Malfoy, give me a moment with my wife," said Rodolphus, pulling Bellatrix into an empty room. Once they were alone, he crushed her to him, pressing her up against the wall. "I've missed you," he said, assaulting her mouth and neck.

"I've missed you," she replied, raking her hands over his body.

"I can't stand the thought of that werewolf touching you," he growled.

"He hasn't tried anything yet?" she gasped as her husband began pulling at her shirt.

"He will," he replied.

She laughed. "No, he won't," she replied. "He treats her like a delicate flower. I wonder how they ever conceived a child in the first place."

"Promise me you won't let him," Rodolphus demanded.

"I promise," she gasped. She was willing to promise him anything as long as he didn't stop.

Outside the room, Lucius Malfoy could hear their fast and furious coupling and sighed with boredom. There was still much to do before Bellatrix had to return. As soon as he thought they were finished, he knocked on the door. "If you two are done in there, we have some business to take care of.

Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange emerged from the room with their clothes crumbled and their hair mussed, but neither said a word.

"Are you low on the Polyjuice potion?" asked Lucius.

Bellatrix shook her head. "I just need a bit more of the final product."

"Well we know exactly where to get that," said Rodolphus and they made their way down to Malfoy's dungeon.

"Visitors," Malfoy called out mockingly.

Hermione Granger-Lupin looked up from her seated position on the floor. There was nothing but hate in her eyes.

"Aren't you going to welcome me back?" asked Bellatrix.

"Go to hell," said Hermione.

"No," replied Bellatrix. "I'll be going back to Godric's Hollow," she smirked. "Give me a minute, you two," she said dismissing Lucius and Rodolphus and they left the room.

Bellatrix continued in a kind voice. "I just thought you'd like to know that you're family is taking very good care of me. They can't do enough, especially that husband of yours. Has he always been such a perfect puppy dog?"

Hermione stare turned icy cold.

"Not in the mood to talk?" taunted Bellatrix. "That's fine, you can listen. You might be pleased to know that your son is doing wonderfully. I'll do my best to keep him safe," she laughed.

"If you hurt my son," began Hermione, stepping forward and wrapping her hands around the bars of her cell until her knuckles turned white.

"She speaks," gasped Bellatrix in mock astonishment.

"I mean it," said Hermione. "I will kill you if you hurt him."

"I suspect you would," said Bellatrix, "if you could. But you can't so…" She moved closer. "Now, are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?"

Hermione stepped back. "I never do things the easy way," she said, her statement was a challenge.

"If you force me to come in and take a piece of you," said Bellatrix coldly. "It's not you who will suffer, it's your son and husband."

Hermione paled.

"Be a good girl and hand over the hair," ordered Bellatrix.

Hermione's hand shook as she reached up and yanked a few strands of hair from her head. She dutifully handed them over to Bellatrix.

"Your husband seems to have set up permanent residence at the Potter's," commented Bellatrix. "I think we're going to have to change that. After over four months of being separated, I think the Lupin's are entitled to a little privacy." She winked at Hermione before turning away and leaving her.

Hermione choked back the bile rising in her throat. The idea of Bellatrix with Remus nearly sent her over the edge. Hermione felt like she was going mad with worry and panic. She slumped back to the floor.

They kept her constantly hungry and sleep deprived. Until today, she hadn't even realized it had been over four months since she had been gone. She was sure Bellatrix let that piece of information slip by mistake.

She cried as she realized Nathaniel had just turned one, but the tears quickly disappeared. Crying was a luxury she didn't permit herself any longer. It was a weakness in her present situation.

She hadn't been searching for Voldemort for long when she was captured by the Malfoy's. They of course, immediately brought her to Voldemort who had tried everything to extract information from her. The only thing was that she didn't know much. She had been a quiet member of the Order for months. Neither she or Lily knew much about what the details of individual missions were, because neither of them went on missions. The birth of her son had saved the Order. If she had known things, she wasn't sure whether they would have gotten them out of her or not.

When it became clear that she neither knew anything nor would tell them what she knew, they came up with another plan. Bellatrix had used truth serum heavily to extract the mundane details of Hermione's life from her in preparation to become her. The polyjuice potion had been the last step and though she tried, Hermione had been too weak to stop them.

Now the worst had come true. Voldemort had a spy walking among James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus. He'd know where they were at all times and when the moment came to strike there would be nothing to stop him.

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A/N: You guys don't know how much I giggled as I wrote this. It is just too evil for words. This was a good twist though, admit it. Hehehe.

Now, for all of you out there who are too smart for your own good, I know you think I made a mistake saying Sirius was Nathaniel's Godfather when I had already said James and Lily were. Well I did, I'll admit it. But this is Hermione we're talking about. I think she would definitely have a back-up plan. You know, why write three rolls of parchment when you can write six? Why have one Godfather when you can have two?

Just go with it. I don't want to change it.


	64. Chapter 64

"Where have you been?" shouted Remus, as Bellatrix, back in her disguise as Hermione, snuck back into the house. He raced to her and enveloped her in an iron grip.

"Remus, you're choking me," she gasped, wriggling out of his grasp.

"You've been gone for over an hour," he accused. "I thought you'd been killed."

"Don't be so melodramatic. I told you I was going for a walk," she answered, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"A walk is fifteen minutes," he insisted. "You were gone for over an hour."

"I was not," she said, dismissing him with a wave of her hand.

Remus stared at her. "Hermione?" He looked incredulous. It wasn't like Hermione to just dismiss him like that.

She took a deep breath and bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry," she repented. "I didn't mean to worry you."

Remus continued to stare at her.

"I said I was sorry," she insisted. "I guess I just lost track of time. It's very nice outside and I wandered a bit." She moved closer to him a draped her arms around his neck. "You forgive me honey, don't you?"

Remus reached back and slowly pulled her arms away. "Don't ever do that again," he said seriously. "I can't do this anymore, Hermione. I can't lose you again." His eyes got very bright. "I can't," he finished firmly.

"You won't," she promised.

He nodded once. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

She nodded. "I think I could eat something small."

"I'll…" Remus was interrupted by a cry from upstairs. He looked up toward the nursery. "That's Nathaniel. Will you get him and bring him downstairs. I don't want him waking up Harry."

"Where's Lily?"

"She had some errands to run, so I said we'd watch Harry."

She nodded and climbed the steps, hoping the baby would keep on crying. She wasn't all that familiar with the layout of the house yet. When she entered the room, Nathaniel was standing up in his crib, with his hands stretched out. When he saw Bellatrix, he stopped crying and watched her quietly. She strode over to the crib and plucked him into her arms.

His reaction was immediate. He began screaming and struggling in her arms. His arms flailed and he smacked her in the face.

"Stop," she demanded harshly and swatted him on his behind. She didn't hit him hard, but Nathaniel had only ever known love and gentleness. He stopped crying momentarily, his open mouth formed a perfect O of surprise, before he filled his lungs and let her know how displeased he was.

His outraged screaming woke Harry, who immediately started crying. Both boys could feel something was very wrong about the woman in their room.

"What happened?" asked Remus, coming into the room at a half run.

Bellatrix dropped Nathaniel back into his crib and rushed to Remus. She wrapped her arms around his waist and sobbed into his shoulder. "He doesn't remember me," she wailed.

Remus hugged her tightly and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Shh," he murmured. "It's okay. He's just cranky. You can't take it personally."

"No, he's forgotten me," she continued crying.

"He hasn't," Remus reassured her. He dragged her closer to the crib and lifted his son into his arms. Remus rocked Nathaniel gently until he had quieted a bit. "Here," he said, offering Nathaniel to his wife. Nathaniel instantly protested. He screamed as if in pain. Harry, who had quieted and was watching from his crib, joined Nathaniel in his lusty screams.

Remus frowned with concern. "What's the matter with my boy," he asked softly. He held him close and Nathaniel buried his face in his father's neck. His breath was coming out in hitched gasps.

"It's okay," said Bellatrix and she brushed Nathaniel's cheek with the back of her hand. "He'll remember me in time."

Now that he was safe in the strong arms of his father, he permitted her to touch him.

"Of course he will," said Remus quietly, but there was unease in his voice. He walked over to Harry's crib and smoothed the top of his messy black hair. He knew they were both past the point of finishing their nap, so he scooped Harry up with his free arm and turned back to his wife. "We'll just take them downstairs with us."

She nodded. "Is lunch finished yet?"

"Not yet," answered Remus. "It'll just be another minute." He carried the boys into the kitchen with him and Bellatrix flopped onto the couch. She picked up one of Lily's copies of Witch Weekly and began thumbing through it.

In a few minutes, Remus returned with a tray of sandwiches and butterbeer. "Since when do you read Witch Weekly?" he asked curiously.

She lowered the magazine. "Huh?"

"You said it was a waste of paper."

She dropped the magazine on the table. "I was bored."

He smiled and crossed the room, returning with a massive book that had to be at least nine hundred pages. "Here," he said handing it to her.

"What's this?" she asked.

"The book you were reading before you disappeared," he explained. "See, I even kept the bookmark right where you left it."

Bellatrix laughed out loud. "This is massive."

Remus looked confused. "I couldn't bear to take the bookmark out. I know how you hate losing your place."

"Thanks," she replied, setting the book down and forgetting about it the moment she did.

"Remus," Bellatrix began as they ate lunch. "I was thinking."

Remus looked up giving her his full attention.

"I think we should go back to our place. We can't overstay our welcome here."

"I thought you'd feel better about staying with James and Lily," said Remus.

She shrugged. "Wouldn't you rather be in our own home, so we can be alone," she added with a sly smile.

Remus smiled softly. "Of course, but it's not that easy."

"Why not? When James and Lily get home we'll just tell them and go."

Remus cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Hermione, we don't have a flat anymore."

"What?" she asked.

"I gave it up," he said simply.

"Why would you do that?" she asked.

"You were gone for four months," said Remus. "I thought…" he paused and reached for her hand, pressing it to his cheek. "I thought you were dead. I couldn't go back. Everything reminded me of you and the life we weren't going to have. The truth is I was planning on moving Nathaniel and myself into my parent's place until I figured out what to do."

"Oh," Bellatrix said softly, obviously disappointed.

"Besides," continued Remus. "Don't you think Nathaniel will be safer in a house full of people?"

"I suppose," she replied slowly.

"If your disappearance taught me anything, it's that I've been arrogant. I used to think I could protect the two of you through sheer force of will, but I'm not as young or stupid as I used to be. I'm not too proud to take help when it's your safety at stake."

Bellatrix smiled. "That's sweet."

They were silent for a long time before Remus continued. "You look tired. Why don't you go and take a nap."

She smiled and nodded. "Thanks for lunch."

"Of course," acknowledged Remus.

She stood to go, but then remembered herself and turned her face to his and closed her eyes, waiting.

Remus hesitated for a second before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Lily returned later in the day to find her son and godson playing on the floor in front of Remus, who was sitting on the couch staring straight ahead, lost in thought.

"Remus?" said Lily quietly, not wanting to startle him.

Remus turned his head. "Hey," he replied.

She smiled. "You looked about a million miles away just then," she commented.

"No, I'm fine," he said.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" she asked.

Remus hesitated.

"There is," she said and sat next to him. "What is it?"

He sighed deeply. "It's Hermione."

"What? Is she feeling okay?" Lily turned her head toward the stairs with concern in her eyes.

"No, it's nothing like that. She's fine. She even went for a walk today."

"Well that's good," said Lily encouragingly.

"For over an hour," finished Remus.

"Over an hour?" questioned Lily.

He nodded. "I was worried sick. If she had taken another five minutes I would have called the Order."

Lily smiled sympathetically. "You're just feeling a bit overprotective. That's normal."

"I know," agreed Remus. "But the way she came back. She acted like I was being ridiculous for worrying. She just dismissed the whole thing."

Lily shrugged. "Hermione's always been independent."

"That's not the only thing. Nathaniel reacted very harshly to her."

"What do you mean?" asked Lily.

"She was holding him and he was crying like he was in pain. I mean, he was actually screaming. He never screams." Remus paused. "I think he was terrified."

Lily frowned. "It has been over four months Remus. "Nathaniel doesn't know who she is. When she left, he was only eight months old. Now he's crawling everywhere, he's nearly walking. And I swear any day now they're both going to say their first words. Four months is a long time in a babies world."

"I suppose, but then she was also reading Witch Weekly."

Lily burst out laughing. "So?"

"She hates Witch Weekly," said Remus.

"Maybe she changed her mind."

Remus shook his head. "Not my Hermione. She doesn't read silly magazines. She's too smart for them."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "I read Witch Weekly."

Remus cringed. "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant."

Lily sighed, rolling her eyes. "Remus, I'm telling you this as a friend. You're expectations of Hermione are unrealistic. They always have been. She is not perfect. She's just a woman." She paused and took his hand. "Hasn't that always been the biggest problem between you two? You expect perfection from her."

"I don't," he began to interrupt.

"Let me finish," said Lily. "I know you love her and you want to believe she's the perfect woman, but that's not fair to her. She's been through something very traumatic, even if she can't remember what that was. It's only natural she would want some freedom or a stupid magazine to take her mind off her worries. And as far as Nathaniel goes, he'll come around. She adores her son. She'll make him remember what a wonderful mother he has." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Give her time and let her be."

Remus sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am," said Lily firmly. "You'll see. Everything will be great soon. I promise."

Remus gave her a small smile. "I really hope so, Lily."

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The months wore on and Remus tried to keep Lily's advice at the front of his mind, but it wasn't always easy. Hermione was different. They hadn't slept in the same room since she returned. Whenever Remus tried touching or kissing her she would embrace him briefly and then move quickly away.

He tried to be patient, but the truth was he missed her. He missed the intimacy they once shared. There was a time when the two of them would literally talk until the sun came up. They'd talk, make love, talk some more, and then make love again.

Late one night Remus knocked lightly on her bedroom door and then tried the handle. It was locked. "Who is it?" called a muffled voice from within.

"Your husband," said Remus, coloring at having to ask permission to enter his own room.

"Uhh,what do you want?"

Remus took a deep breath. "Hermione, let me in." There was a long pause. Remus put his ear up to the door, but could hear only muffled sounds. "Hermione?" he called out again.

After a few more seconds, he heard the lock on the door click and let himself into the room.

His wife was across the room. She eyed him warily. Remus eyed her right back.

"Did you need something?" she asked crossing her arms in front of her.

"I miss you," he said quietly, crossing the room. He rested her hand on his cheek. "I've missed you so much," he said, dipping his head and capturing her mouth with his own. She remained frozen in place. He pulled back. "It's been months, Hermione. Why won't you let me touch you?"

"I let you touch me all the time," she protested.

He pulled her fully against him and kissed her again, hard and needy this time.

"Stop," she cried, wrenching away from him.

He was breathing hard and he had a look on his face that said, 'I told you so.' "Tell me what's wrong," he demanded.

"I can't," she said, inching away from him.

"Why?"

"I just can't."

"Are you punishing me for what I did before you disappeared?" he asked.

She didn't answer.

"You are," he said. He moved closer and knelt in front of her. "I am so sorry about that. I should have never taken Nathaniel and left.I was wrong."

She eyed him kneeling in front of her. "I'm not trying to punish you," she said quietly. "I just can't help how I feel."

"How can I make it up to you?" asked Remus. "I'll do anything."

"I just need some time," she said. "Please, just give me time."

Remus nodded and slowly stood. He kissed her cheek and held her close. "I love you," he said, before releasing her. He waited, but she didn't respond. Then he turned and left the room.

Bellatrix locked the door again once he left. Then she flopped back onto the bed. "Pathetic," she muttered with a low chuckle.

* * *

The war was raging all around them and they were all busier than ever. They had all had more close calls then they cared to admit. It seemed like every time they went on the offensive, Death Eaters were waiting for them. There were murmuring throughout the Order that it was possible they had been compromised, but so far no one was willing to say it out loud.

The end of October 1981 was fast approaching.

One evening, about a week before Halloween, Dumbledore came to see the three remaining marauders and their families. Sirius had recently given up pretending he lived in his own apartment and set up residence with his friends at Godric's Hollow, although he didn't give up his own flat.

The four friends, two babies, and Bellatrix sat together quietly and listened to Dumbledore. The older man looked tired. They all knew that the only thing that stood between themselves and utter defeat most days was him.

"I wanted to speak with all of you at once, because it has become apparent to me that Voldemort has figured out a way to keep tabs on you five." Dumbledore took a deep breath. "I believe he knows about the prophecy."

They all looked grim.

"What should we do?" asked James.

"I think it's time you all went into hiding," he announced.

The response was instant. "You can't be serious," said James.

"We couldn't hide," added Sirius.

"What about the Order?" asked Remus.

"As it stands," began Dumbledore. "You're more of a danger to the Order than an asset."

No one said anything as they considered this information.

"How are we supposed to hide from Voldemort?" asked Lily quietly. She was holding Harry close to her and trying to hide how much her hands were shaking.

"There's an ancient charm called the Fidelius Charm. It involves the magical concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul. It's quite a complex spell, but I believe it will be your best chance."

"Who would be the secret keeper?" asked Remus.

"I would be willing to be your secret keeper," said Dumbledore.

"We couldn't ask you to do that," said James. "The Order needs you. It would be too dangerous."

"I'll do it," spoke up Sirius and Bellatrix at the same time.

"No," said Sirius sharply to her. "It's too dangerous."

"I know it's dangerous," she replied. "But it shouldn't be someone so obvious. The Dark Lord will come after you. He has you marked."

"He has your son marked," countered Sirius.

"All the more reason, you should let me do this," she answered. "Please. I want to do it."

Sirius looked to James for an answer. James looked thoughtful for a long time. "Are you sure you want to do this, Hermione?" he asked.

She sat up very straight. "I'm sure," she answered. "For my son, for both our sons."

James looked at his wife, who nodded quickly and then he looked to Remus. Remus was staring at his own wife. "Remus?" asked James.

He returned James' gaze, then nodded slowly.

Dumbledore stood. "Then it's settled. Hermione, come with me."

She stood and followed Dumbledore out of the room.

Once they were gone, Lily stood with a sigh and adjusted Harry in her arms. He babbled at her and laughed, but his mother didn't respond.

Nathaniel was playing with a small ball at his father's feet, seemingly oblivious to the tension around him.

"She called him the Dark Lord," said Remus quietly.

Sirius turned and looked at him. "What?"

"Hermione, she called Voldemort the Dark Lord. Didn't you notice?"

Sirius shrugged. "So."

"She's never called him that. Only Death Eaters call him that."

"Remus, this is stressful for everyone," said Lily. "I don't think any of us know what we're saying anymore."

Remus didn't respond and his attention was immediately diverted by Nathaniel. He was holding the ball up to his father with two pudgy hands. "Ba…," he tried.

"Ball," Remus said slowly, with an indulgent smile.

"Ba," said Nathaniel again, with more feeling.

Remus leaned down and picked him up. "Yes, I know this is your ba." He cuddled him close. "I think it's time for a nap," he said. "Can I take Harry up too?" asked Remus.

"I'll come with you," replied Lily and the two disappeared upstairs.

"We're putting it all in her hands," said James from the corner of the room.

"I would have done it," answered Sirius.

"I know you would have," said James.

"This business about someone spying on us is troubling," said Sirius. "Who do you think it could be?"

James shrugged. "It could be anyone," he said. James was watching Sirius, who was obviously lost in thought. "What are you thinking about?" James asked.

"Hermione," answered Sirius.

"What about her?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nothing, never mind. I was just thinking about something Remus said. It's not important."

Dumbledore and Hermione returned to the room.

"It's done," said Dumbledore quietly. "You will all be safe as long as you remain in this house. Only Hermione will be able to give away the secret of your location."

"Thank you, Hermione," said James. "You're holding all our lives in your hands."

"You're welcome, James," she said with a smile. "Believe me, it's the least I could do."

Later that night, when everyone was asleep, Bellatrix snuck away from the house. She met a hooded figure in the woods. "It's done, my Lord. The Potter's have made me their secret keeper."

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A/N: There is a wonderful reader who recently drew some pictures in honor of my story. I can't express how honored I was by this and I want everyone to go to the below link and check out the pictures. I think they are beautiful and they depict two of my favorite scenes in the story. Thanks again, Anne!

beepworld.de/members5/thornbird


	65. Chapter 65

"Severus, my old friend," greeted Lucius Malfoy as he opened the front door to Severus Snape.

"Hello Lucius," replied Snape, shaking Malfoy's offered hand. "I came as soon as I could. What's the big news."

Malfoy led Snape into his study and busied himself pouring champagne into long crystal flutes. "Tonight is a night for celebrations," he announced.

Snape took the offered Champagne flute. "What are we celebrating?" he asked without drinking.

"Victory," said Malfoy triumphantly.

"To Victory," said Snape wryly, holding up his glass. This wasn't the first time Malfoy had celebrated impending victory. Fortunately, his plans never seemed to pan out.

"I can see from your face that you think this is like the last time," smirked Malfoy.

"How is it different?" asked Snape.

"This time victory is a certainty. Tonight the Dark Lord will destroy his enemies once and for all. By tomorrow we will be running the wizarding world. After that, it will be a short time before the muggles fall at our feet."

Snape paused. "You sound different," he observed quietly. "Why are you so certain?"

"Forgive me for having kept you out of the secret, my friend," said Malfoy. "But once you know everything, you will understand."

Snape sat in a leather armchair, trying to appear comfortable and nonchalant, when he was anything but. "What are you on about?"

"For many months now, the Dark Lord has had a spy among Dumbledore's little band of followers and she has finally come to us with the information that will destroy the Order of the Phoenix. And once they are destroyed, the Ministry will fall quickly."

"I'm intrigued," said Snape. "Continue, please."

"Almost a year and a half ago," began Malfoy, relishing his role as keeper of the secret. "The Dark Lord learned of a prophecy. You must understand that the prophecy was of such a sensitive nature that only his most trusted advisors could be entrusted with the secret."

Snape waved his hand, trying to appease Malfoy's obvious need to be thought important. "Of course," he murmured, sipping his drink.

"The prophecy told of the birth of a child, a boy who would be the instrument of our defeat. When our Lord discovered that three boys born in July fit the description of this prophecy, he became determined to rid himself of any potential enemies."

"I don't understand," interrupted Snape. "How could a child, an infant, be the instrument of our defeat?"

"This child is supposed to be able to kill our Lord," said Malfoy.

"I thought that was impossible," said Snape, sitting up straighter in his seat. "The Dark Lord has taken…" He paused, not certain how to finish the sentence. "Precautions?" he finished with a shrug.

"Yes," said Malfoy. "And now he is taking another one. Many months ago we were given a gift. A stupid mudblood wandered into our paths and gave us the perfect opportunity to place a spy among Dumbledore's ranks." Malfoy was nearly gleeful telling the story and Snape was doing everything he could not to leap out of his chair and force Malfoy to finish the tale.

"We kidnapped Lupin's wife and replaced her with Bellatrix," finished Malfoy, his face shining with exhilaration.

"Hermione?" questioned Snape, standing up. "You've been holding Hermione here? For how long?"

"Months," smiled Malfoy.

"Where is she?" asked Snape.

"In the dungeon," said Malfoy.

"And what's the Dark Lord planning?" asked Snape.

Malfoy smiled. "I knew you'd want to be in the thick of things. And it's your right. You've been a faithful Death Eater and my best friend. It's only right that you should be here at the moment of our triumph."

"Malfoy, what is he planning?" repeated Snape, growing tired of Malfoy's grandstanding.

"Dumbledore placed the cowardly traitors into hiding, probably for the protection of their children."

"Do you mean that Hermione's child is the one who fulfills the prophecy?" asked Snape.

Malfoy shrugged. "It might be Lupin's or it might be the Potter boy. They were born on the same day. Both fit the description given in the prophecy. When Dumbledore placed them into hiding he used the Fidelius charm. It required a secret keeper."

"He made Bellatrix the secret keeper," said Snape quietly.

"Thinking she was Granger," laughed Malfoy. "Tonight the Dark Lord will not only get rid of the two brats, but he'll also be rid of Potter, Black, and Lupin. They're all cohabitating in Godric's Hollow. Think of it, my friend, all your old tormenters finally destroyed."

"And what happens to Hermione?" asked Snape.

Malfoy smiled. "That's the reason I asked you to come over. We no longer have need of her. I thought you might like to be the one to take care of her, since her husband and his friends were so kind to you back at Hogwarts."

Snape took a deep breath, then returned Malfoy's smile. "Thank you," he said simply. "Where is she?"

"Downstairs." Malfoy crossed the room and poured himself another drink. "I'll be waiting up here for you."

Snape nodded once before turning and leaving the room.

Hermione Granger-Lupin sat very still on the ground with her eyes closed. She was breathing in deeply through her nose and exhaling through her mouth and she was concentrating. When she opened her eyes she concentrated with all her power on a shiny silver sickle about ten feet in front of her. Lucius Malfoy had dropped it from his pocket a few days before and she had been practicing with it ever since.

Slowly she lifted one hand and in a strong clear voice said, "Wingardium Leviosa. Wingardium Leviosa." From across the room, the coin seemed to shake ever so slightly before slowly rising from the ground. Hermione grinned triumphantly as the coin floated closer to her. She didn't reach for it until it was right in front of her face. Then she snatched it out of the air and clasped it tight in her fist, triumphant.

She'd been getting better at wandless magic every day. She still wasn't good enough to break down the wards imprisoning her, but she still practiced daily. It was the only way to keep her mind sharp.

She was about to toss the coin into the middle of the room again when she heard the sound of someone approaching. She assumed it was Malfoy coming to bring her food. She assumed a defeated, listless position, staring out into space.

"My God, it's true," whispered a familiar voice.

Hermione immediately sat up. "Severus," she whispered frantically.

"I just heard," he whispered back.

"I never hoped," she began, but he cut her off.

"There isn't time," he said. "Your family is in grave danger. We may be too late."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "What's happening."

"The Dark Lord is preparing to kill your son and James and Lily's son tonight."

"Nathaniel," breathed Hermione, feeling the air leave her chest. "And Harry?"

Snape nodded grimly.

"What day is it?" she asked.

"I don't see how that's important," said Snape irritably.

"What day is it?" she demanded, grabbing a handful of his robes through the bars.

"Halloween," he supplied, pulling out of her grasp with a grunt.

She froze and stared at him. "No," she whispered. Then suddenly something changed in her. Snape saw it, but was never fully able to describe it. It was like fire going off in her eyes. He stepped back, afraid of the raw power that he saw. He knew this was not someone to be messed with.

"Get me out of here," she demanded.

"How will you get past Malfoy?" said Snape, hesitating. "He's just upstairs and there's no telling who else is too."

"You don't need to worry about that," said Hermione. "Just open the door and give me your wand."

Snape aimed his wand at the lock and with a well aimed spell, opened the door. Hermione reached for his wand, but he held back. "Maybe I should come with you.

"Accio wand," she said, and immediately the wand flew from Snape's hand into her own. "You get to Dumbledore. I'm going to save my family."

"You're no match for the Dark Lord," said Snape, grabbing her arm. "He'll kill you."

"If I don't stop him it'll be like the last four years didn't happen. I'll have failed my mission. Don't you see?" But he didn't see. He didn't know, so he couldn't understand. Only Hermione understood and she didn't have time to explain herself. "Just go," she shouted. "Go get help." Then she turned and ran up the stairs.

It wasn't long before she met Malfoy. His face was such a mixture of surprise and fury that it was almost funny. To Hermione he looked just like Draco and when she aimed the Conjunctivitis Curse at him, she felt more than a little pleasure. As Malfoy covered his eyes and howled, Hermione yelled, "Petrificus Totalus," and then just to make certain he wouldn't somehow get up and come after her, she added a binding curse.

As soon as Malfoy was dealt with she ran like mad to the front door. When she burst outside, tasting her first bit of freedom in over six months, all she could think was how cold the night air felt.

* * *

"Dada," shrieked Harry. James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus, all burst into happy laughter.

"Say Dada, Harry," instructed James. "Say Dada again."

"Dada," Harry happily obliged and again all the adults were full of happy laughter. They had been playing this game for the last half hour at least.

"Now say Mama," said Lily.

"Mama," shouted Harry.

"Did you hear him?" Lily squealed with joy. She lifted Harry up into her arms and cuddled him close. "You're such a good boy. Mama loves you."

"Mama," said Harry again, just to hear his mother's laugh, which of course, she eagerly supplied.

"Say Sirius," instructed Sirius.

"No," replied Harry and everyone laughed again.

"He sure told you," joked Remus.

"Ask him to say your name then," replied Sirius.

"No, I don't think I could handle the rejection," laughed Remus. "Besides I have my own little bundle of joy to play this game with."

"Did Hermione take him up already?" asked Sirius.

Remus nodded. Then he glanced at his watch. "That was a little while ago though. I hope he isn't giving her any trouble."

"I'll go check on her," offered Sirius.

"No, that's okay," said Remus, beginning to stand. "I'll do it."

"Sit," said Sirius. He had already stood and was bounding toward the stairs. "I'll bring her down."

Remus sat back in his seat, watching James and Lily take turns making Harry say Mama and Dada.

"Hermione," Sirius called out softly, once he was upstairs. He didn't want to talk too loudly in case Nathaniel was already asleep.

She didn't answer, so he went from room to room searching for her. He checked the nursery first, but all he saw in the darkened room was Nathaniel, sleeping soundly. Then he went to her room, but it was empty. Finally, he checked out the room Remus was currently occupying.

They all were aware of the problems between Remus and Hermione. They hadn't shared a room since her return and anyone could see the strain between them. James and Lily had wanted to interfere, but Sirius wouldn't let them. He knew that Hermione would deal with their problems when she was ready to and not a minute before. It was how she had been since he first met her. She needed to work things out for herself, before she could fix things for anyone else.

"That's odd," Sirius thought to himself when she wasn't in that room either. He went slowly downstairs and caught Remus's eye. He waved him over quietly.

"What is it?" asked Remus.

"Shh," whispered Sirius softly and he pulled him into another room. "She's not here," he said simply when they were alone.

"What?"

"I can't find Hermione," he repeated.

Remus just stared. There was a sinking feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. "She's gone?" he questioned.

Sirius shrugged. "I can't find her anywhere. Why would she leave without saying something?"

Remus wasn't looking at Sirius. He was lost in thought. "What's today?" he asked.

"What?"

"It's Halloween, right?"

Sirius shrugged. "Yeah."

"October 31st, 1981."

Sirius nodded slowly.

"Oh my God," breathed Remus, all the pieces finally falling into place for him. "We've got to find her."

"Why?" asked Sirius. "What's so important about today?"

"Don't you remember?" asked Remus frantically. "October 31st was the day Hermione says James and Lily died. It's today."

Realization flooded through Sirius. "How could we have forgotten?"

"No," said Remus. "That's not the question. The question should be why did she let us forget?"

"I don't understand what you're saying," said Sirius.

"Don't you?" asked Remus.

Sirius shook his head. "No," he said. "She wouldn't. She wouldn't," he emphasized.

"She's been different," said Remus. "I don't recognize her anymore. And we never did find out where she was."

"This is your wife we're talking about," growled Sirius angrily. "She would never betray James and Lily."

"I don't want to believe that," said Remus. "But where is she?"

Sirius couldn't answer.

Remus looked Sirius directly in the eye. "We have to find her."

"Should we say anything to James and Lily?" asked Sirius.

"Maybe we shouldn't panic them," said Remus. "We don't know anything for sure. We'll just tell them we're going to patrol the area."

"We can't be gone for long," said Sirius. "I'll take my motorbike and search the area around here. You go to Hogwarts. Maybe she went to see Dumbledore."

Remus nodded once. "We have to hurry."

"We will," Sirius reassured him.

* * *

Lord Voldemort saw the two men leave Godric's Hollow and knew his time to strike was at hand. Hemoved slowly toward the house and lifted his wand to open the door.

* * *

Hermione ran through the woods towards Godric's Hollow. She had apparated as closely to the house as she could, but the wards had been extended since the last time she had been there. Her lungs were burning and her heart was pounding in her ears, but she couldn't stop. She had to make it in time, there was no other choice.

With a burst of joy and horror, Hermione saw the house at the same time she saw Voldemort enter.

She took off at a sprint, holding Snape's wand high. As she reached the door and wrenched it open she could hear James inside.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"

"James," she screamed, running into the room. Her shout startled both men, giving her just enough time to send a stunning spell at Voldemort. "Stupefy," she roared.

Voldemort deflected the spell easily. He turned to the source of the spell, all at once realizing the woman in front of him was the real Hermione Granger-Lupin. "You," he hissed.

"Me," answered Hermione defiantly.

From behind, James threw another stunner at Voldemort, but he deflected that one as easily as the first. Then, quick as lightning, Hermione felt a powerful burning sensation through her hand and her wand burst into flames. She dropped it and stared at Voldemort in horror, but his attention was already on James. Without thinking, she launched herself at Voldemort, but he seemed to feel her approach and deflected her with a shield.

She was thrown to the ground, but got back to her feet in less than a second. James was using his body to block Voldemort's access to the stairs and Hermione could see Voldemort's intentions in his eyes. Instead of trying to go at Voldemort again, she changed tactics. As Voldemort threw the killing curse, Hermione charged James and knocked him off his feet. The spell missed, but the house reverberated with the echo of the powerful spell.

Hermione realized her mistake almost immediately. When she knocked them both to the ground she had inadvertentlyknockedJamesswand out of his hand. They were both vulnerable. James saw it too and tried to cover Hermione's body with his own.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered turning her face into James' neck.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

A/N: It's all cliffhangers from here on out. Two maybe three chapters left.

Let me take this space to express my deepest sympathies to our friends in England for the cowardly attack on London this morning. All of America is praying for our cousins across the pond.


	66. Chapter 66

Something heavy was on Hermione's chest and she was having trouble catching her breath. She moaned in pain and opened her eyes. It was dark everywhere. "James?" she called out weakly. "James, where are you?" She listened, but couldn't hear anything but an odd creaking sound all around her. Her hands began roaming, trying to feel her surroundings since she could see nothing. She felt a large flat object over her chest. She pushed, but the thing was heavy, too heavy for her to move in her weakened state.

"Somebody," she called out. "Help!"

"Hermione?" a familiar voice answered from the distance.

"Severus," she called out. "Is that you?"

"It's me," he answered. "I'm coming."

She could hear him coming closer and felt the ground below her shifting.

"You're trapped," he said, his voice now directly over her. "I need you to push while I lift."

"Okay," she replied weakly.

"One, two, three!" he said the last word with a grunt as he lifted what turned out to be a large piece of wood from her body.

She felt the pressure on her lungs lessen and she took a deep cleansing breath. It revived her a bit and she was able to stand with Snape's help. "What happened?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," said Snape. "Just as I arrived, the house just seemed to collapse in on itself. I didn't think anyone had survived.

With a horrible rush, the events of the night flooded Hermione's consciousness. She and James had been cornered and defenseless. She remembered reaching out for James and then... She searched her brain for what came next, but she couldn't seem to remember. One minute she was sure she was dead and the next… No matter how she tried she couldn't remember.

While Snape tried to lead her away from the wreckage of James and Lily's home she looked frantically around. "No," she moaned. "James, Lily." The entire second floor had collapsed on part of the first and nothing looked stable. The house groaned, creaked, and cracked as Snape tried to get her away from it. "Remus, Nathaniel," she breathed, her whole body locked in terror. "Nathaniel," she screamed. She tried to break away from Snape, but he held her fast.

"It's too late, Hermione. It's a miracle you lived. I don't see how he could have survived the collapse of the house." Snape uttered the words bluntly.

"No," she screamed, shoving him away with the force of a woman possessed. She began scrambling across the rubble of the Potter's home, screaming for her son. "Nathaniel," she yelled. "Mama's here. I'm coming." She didn't know where her son had been in the house, not that it mattered. With only the quarter moon to guide her it was impossible to see anything beyond a few feet.

"Hermione, we have to get out of here," said Snape, catching up to her. "It won't be long before the Ministry comes."

"Help me," she begged.

"We have to leave," insisted Snape. "The Ministry will arrest us on sight. They'll think you're responsible for this."

"Leave then, coward," she shouted. "I'm not going anywhere without my son or my husband."

"We can't stay," shouted Snape angrily, but Hermione was no longer listening.

She had gotten down on her hands and knees and was sifting through the debris while trying to listen. "Nathaniel," she called out, softly this time. "It's mama. I'm here, but you have to make a noise if I'm going to find you. Help me, baby." Then she heard the faint cry. A moan of happiness escaped her lips. "I'm coming," she whispered. "Keep crying."

She crawled across the rumble, listening hard. The sound seemed to be coming from somewhere above her. She looked up. The entire second floor of the house had settled onto the first floor. Hermione looked back to where Snape had pulled her out. She shook as she realized how impossible it had been to live through the collapse of the house.

The only way to get to her son was to climb. She closed her eyes and prayed silently that the structure would hold. As she carefully climbed, the crying grew clearer. When she finally stood precariously where the roof had been, she began to dig her way back down. "I'm coming," she kept saying over and over. Then she saw a tiny fist shoot up, reaching for her. Her hand closed gently around it. She carefully shifted some more debris until it opened into a hollowed space. In the center of the area was Harry.

She reached down and pulled him out. He was crying. "Harry," she practically laughed. "It's all right." She cradled him in her arms and hope burgeoned in her chest. If the two of them had made it then she knew everyone else had survived too. It would just take her time to dig them all out. She hoped she found James, Sirius, or Remus next. Then they could help her dig out the others.

"Mama," cried Harry. "Mamamama."

"Remus," Hermione yelled. "James, Sirius, Lily, please answer me. Remus!"

She was about to stand and get Harry clear of the house before she continued her search when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. She reached her hand down into the hole Harry had been in and her hand closed around cold flesh. She wrenched her hand back as if she'd been burnt.

"No," she cried. She pulled Harry against her chest and rested her lips against the top of his head. Tears flowed down into his soft black hair. She took a deep breath, trying to steel her resolve, before reaching back down. Using only one hand, she pushed brick and wood, slowly revealing the body of her best friend.

Huge, gulping sobs wracked her body. "Lily, no," she cried softly. She felt paralyzed. Her body shook and all she could do was hold Harry close. When she felt more in control of her emotions, she brushed the hair away from Harry's forehead. She could see the lightening shaped scar, pink and angry against his pale forehead. She ran the pad of her thumb over it, trying to soothe his skin, then she pulled him back against her chest.

Nothing she had done had changed anything. Lily was dead and for all she knew James was too. She had failed. Hermione tipped her head back and a long guttural wail of despair came out of her.

"James!" An agonized scream ripped through the night air. "James! Lily!"

Hermione stood slowly and turned to see Sirius running at the house, his motorbike lying on the grass forgotten.

"Sirius," she mouthed, trying to force sound out of her mouth. "Sirius!"

He turned and stared at her and in the pale moonlight his eyes looked dark and frightening. He lifted his wand and then he saw his Godson. Hermione could see sparks coming from his wand and his hand shook violently.

"You killed them," he shouted. "And now you're trying to kill Harry. Give him to me or I swear I will make your trip into the next world as painful as I can."

Hermione held Harry closer, knowing he was the only thing standing between her and death.

"I didn't kill them," she shouted back.

"You were the secret keeper," he yelled back. "We trusted you. James and Lily trusted you."

"It wasn't me," she cried. "You have to believe me, it wasn't me. I loved them. I tried to save them."

"Your son was in the house," accused Sirius.

"Help me find him," she begged. "Was Remus in the house too?"

Sirius shook his head, his eyes still glowing with barely controlled rage.

"Oh thank, God," she cried, closing her eyes. When she opened them she saw Sirius had moved much closer. She took a few steps back, stumbling as she tried to keep her distance from Sirius. "Sirius, please," she said as she nearly fell. "I swear…" She never got to finish her sentence, strong arms wrapped around her neck and waist and Sirius jumped, wrenching Harry out of her arms.

"Where's Nathaniel?" Remus growled in her ear.

Her hands came up to his forearm, which was wrapped tightly around her neck.

"Where's my son?" he demanded. "Did you get him out of the house before you let Voldemort destroy it?"

"Remus," she gasped. "Can't… breath…"

"Where is he, Hermione?" Remus yelled, tightening his grasp on her neck.

"Remus," called Sirius frantically. "It's James. I found him. He's alive!"

Remus dropped his hold on his wife and she fell to the floor, gasping for breath and coughing. Slowly she picked herself up and followed him. She caught up to them as they were removing the rubble from James' body.

"If James survived then maybe Lily and Nathaniel did too," said Remus hopefully, as he and Sirius lifted James' bruised body from the wreckage of the house. He was alive, but unconscious and his breathing was labored.

"Lily's gone," said Hermione quietly, coming up behind them. "I found her body next to Harry. Where is Harry?" she asked, looking around.

Sirius glared at her. "You did this," he accused.

"No," she said, shaking her head.

Sirius set James down and descended on Hermione. "You did this," he screamed. He grabbed her upper arms and began shaking. "How could you do this to us?"

Hermione's head shook violently back and forth and she tried fighting back, but his anger had made Sirius impossibly strong.

"Sirius," said Remus sharply. "He's hurt bad."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at Hermione and pushed her back. She managed to keep her footing, but panicked when she saw Sirius pointing his wand at her.

"No, wait, don't," she screamed, putting her hands up defensively. Suddenly she found her hands and feet bound and she fell hard on the jagged remains of the house.

Remus didn't even look at her. "Help me find Nathaniel," he begged as he struggled to his feet.

Sirius nodded and held out his hand to help Remus up. "We'll find him. I'm not planning on burying either of my godsons tonight. We'll look for Lily too. She might be lying."

They moved away from Hermione and she was alone in the night. When she was certain they were far enough away that they couldn't hear her, she muttered a counter spell. "Finite Incantatem." The ropes that bound her hands and legs disappeared and she stood shakily.

She made her way quietly to James. His eyes were closed and he was so still, but she could see he was breathing. She brushed a kiss against his forehead. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I tried."

"Lily," he moaned. "Harry."

Hermione drew back in panic. She couldn't stand to hear the desperation in his voice. She began searching around her frantically. "Nathaniel," she called out softly. "Nathaniel?" She listened quietly, but all she could hear was the sounds of Remus and Sirius tearing apart the broken remains of the house, searching for her son.

Then suddenly one of them, she couldn't tell which, yelled out, "over here!" Hermione didn't care what they did to her. She had to help rescue her son. She walked as quickly as she could, trying desperately to keep the house from buckling in on itself.

As she approached she could hear Remus and Sirius talking to each other. She couldn't make out the words, but they sounded highly distressed. "What happened? Did you find him?" she asked, trying to catch her breath.

Sirius did a double take. "How?"

She waved him away. "Did you find him?" she insisted.

"Don't come near him, Hermione," growled Remus. "I mean it."

Hermione felt the physical force of all his hate directed at her. "Remus, it wasn't me," she tried to explain, but he wouldn't listen.

"Our child is somewhere under all this mess thanks to you," he seethed. "Don't tell me it wasn't you." Their eyes locked and Hermione wanted to look away, but she couldn't. "Why?" His voice was full of betrayal and anguish. "Why did you do this? I don't understand. How could…," he trailed off as his voice cracked.

"We've got to get him out," interrupted Sirius, not letting Hermione answer. "This part of the house could go any second." The cracking of wood beneath them was horribly loud. Then it seemed everything went silent except for a small almost imperceptible sound. It was a soft whimpering.

"Shh," Remus hushed everyone. He laid flat on his stomach and pressed his ear down, straining to hear. "Nathaniel?" he called out softly.

In the quiet darkness a tiny voice floated up through the air. "Dada."

Hermione's knees buckled and Remus nearly lost it. He began pulling bricks and wood and throwing them back over his shoulder in a desperate attempt to get to his son.

"Wait," shouted Sirius, grabbing Remus roughly.

"Let me go," he gasped, struggling to break free. "He's down there. He's frightened. I have to get to him."

"We will," Sirius assured him. "But we have to do it carefully. The whole thing could come down on him if we move the wrong thing."

Remus nodded slowly and Sirius released him. "We'll move things one by one, slowly and carefully," said Sirius.

"I'll help," said Hermione quietly.

"No," snapped Remus. "Stay away from him."

"Just stop it," snapped Hermione, finally losing her temper. "He's my son too."

"You lost the right to call him your son," snarled Remus.

"Remus they kidnapped me. It was Bellatrix Lestrange. They used Polyjuice potion," Hermione spit the words out as fast as she could, unable to bear the hate coming from Remus anymore.

But it was as if he didn't hear her. He had shut her out. He wasn't going to believe anything she said. Hermione knew it was pointless to try and reason with him when all of his attention was focused on his son who was calling for him in a small frightened voice. Remus and Sirius began digging. Hermione helped as well and they didn't say anything, but they did keep a careful watch over her. They worked silently for several minutes before Remus thought they had opened a hole big enough for him to fit through.

"I'm going to try and get to him," whispered Remus. He laid flat on his stomach and stuck the top half of his body through the small hole they had created. "I see him," he said triumphantly and he tried wriggling further down. "I'm stuck," he grunted. "Try and move that piece of wood on my left."

Sirius tried, but it was too heavy for him.

"Here, I'll help," said Hermione, moving closer. "Ready?" she asked.

Sirius nodded once and they both heaved.

"I've got him," shouted Remus. As he shouted, the ground beneath them began shifting.

"It's collapsing," shouted Sirius, grabbing hold of Remus and trying to pull him up, but he was stuck. The whole mangled structure seemed to be cracking under their combined weight.

Hermione watched in horror as the house seemed to crumble. "Immobulus!" she shouted, throwing her hands out.

Suddenly everything was still and quiet. Sirius actually stopped trying to pull Remus up and turned and stared at her. "How are you doing that without a wand?" he asked.

"Hurry," she pleaded. "I don't know how long I can hold it."

Sirius turned back around and was finally able to pull Remus up. Hermione was relieved to see Nathaniel in his arms when he turned toward her. He was dirty and crying, but seemed alert. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief and as she did the ground seemed to give way. Sirius pounced. He tackled into Hermione, throwing them both clear of the house as Remus jumped with Nathaniel. They watched as the house gave once last groan and settled into itself.

Hermione pushed Sirius, who had landed inelegantly on top of her, off and immediately moved toward her son and husband. She reached out tentatively and stroked Nathaniel's hair. She locked eyes with Remus and she went to touch his face, but he jerked away. It nearly ripped her heart out.

"We have to help James and Harry," said Sirius quietly. He had retrieved Harry from the soft blanket of grass he had set him down in earlier and was now cradling his godson in his arms. "We have to get them all to St. Mungo's." The quiet band of friends moved slowly, still reeling with the shock of all that had happened.

"Remus," Hermione began quietly.

He looked at her coldly.

"How can you not believe me?" she asked, her voice laced with hurt.

"I don't know what to believe," he replied.

"It wasn't me," she said, but the words sounded hollow. She reached for him, but he stepped back.

"Mama," said Nathaniel softly.

Hermione gasped. No word had ever sounded sweeter to her.

Remus stared down at his son. "He's never said that before," he whispered.

Suddenly all around them was the sound of wizards and witches apparating. There were shouts of horror everywhere. Sirius, Remus, and Hermione found themselves surrounded. A few wizards went immediately to James and lifted him onto a floating stretcher. Everyone seemed to be talking at once, but Remus and Hermione just stared at each other.

"Are you boys okay?" asked Mad-Eye Moody. He had arrived with a group of Aurors and was walking toward them slowly, with his wand out.

"We weren't in the house," said Sirius quietly.

"Where's Lily?" he asked.

Sirius turned and stared at Hermione. She could see his uncertainty for the first time and if she hadn't been so grief stricken she might have felt relieved.

"Lily's dead," said Hermione quietly. "She sacrificed herself for Harry."

"And how would you know that?" asked Moody.

Hermione looked down at her feet. She didn't know where to begin.

"I didn't think you'd have an answer," growled Moody. He stepped forcibly between Hermione and Remus, separating her from the boys, and grabbed her roughly.

"What are you doing?" she gasped.

"You'll have to come with me, girl," said Mad-Eye Moody, gruffly. "Lupin, Black, you take those boys to St. Mungo's with Potter to get checked out."

"Wait, I want to go with my son and husband," protested Hermione.

"Well that's not possible," said Moody angrily. "You're coming directly to Ministry headquarters.

"Wait," said Remus. "Why? Where are you taking her?"

"Sorry Lupin," said Moody, sounding genuinely sorry. "Crouch's orders. There won't be a trial. We knew Dumbledore made her the secret keeper. It's open and shut. She'll be in Azkaban before morning."

"No," gasped Hermione in horror. "You can't."

Remus looked horrified as well. "There might have been a mistake. Maybe they used the Imperius curse. She says she didn't do it."

"She would," said Moody coldly. "You don't want to do this to yourself son. She's not who you thought she was. Black," he said addressing Sirius softly. "Get him out of here."

"Wait, I want to be with Remus," she begged, almost hysterically. "Please don't do this. Please." She turned around, locking eyes with Remus. "Remus, I know you believe me," she shouted as Moody dragged her away. "You know I didn't do this. Remus! Remus!"


	67. Chapter 67

Hermione sat quietly in a small room. Her arms and legs were magically bound to a chair, but that didn't prevent the slight shake in her hand. She was frightened, more frightened than she had ever been because for the first time in her life she felt truly alone. It was an odd feeling after the months of her imprisonment, but even then locked away in Malfoy's home, she hadn't felt alone. She'd known her family and friends were out there and she knew they loved her.

Moody had been positively terrifying. The more Hermione had protested her innocence, the angrier he seemed to get. Finally, as he was binding her to the chair and she was making one last attempt to reason with him, he had snarled at her, "I am not a man who would use the unforgivable curses indiscriminately to catch Death Eaters, but for you I'd have made an exception. And if James dies, God help you if they don't give you the kiss instead of throwing you into Azkaban for the rest of your miserable life."

Hermione had shut up after that and a feeling of complete despair seemed to slip over her. There was no hope, she knew. Remus hadn't believed her. Sirius hadn't believed her. She knew Dumbledore wouldn't believe her. He hadn't believed Sirius when the same thing had happened to him. The only person she could place any hope in now was James and when he found out about Lily, even that little bit of hope would be forever lost.

Faintly, in the distance, Hermione could hear a noise approaching. Then, with a sense of dread, she felt a familiar coldness brush across her skin. A cold sweat broke out across her forehead as the Dementors grew closer.

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to even out her breathing. There was no chance she could perform the Patronus Charm. She had learned some wandless magic, but no one could do a spell that complex without a wand. With a shudder, she realized that the best parts of her were about to be ripped away from her for the rest of her life and she reached out desperately to recall the happiest memory she had.

Her mind's eye drifted not too far into the past. She was lying in bed curled up against Remus, her head pillowed on his shoulder, her hand stroking his chest ever so lightly. On Remus's chest lay Nathaniel, sleeping soundly. One of Remus's hands was lying gently across Nathaniel's back, supporting him, and the other was stroking her hair. They were both awake, but neither of them was talking. They were just resting, feeling all three of their hearts beating as one.

Then slowly a fog covered the memory and she felt it being sucked away from her. She struggled to hang onto that peaceful moment, but it was already eluding her and other memories were drifting into her consciousness unbidden. Memories of her childhood with Ron and Harry began to surface, a giant chess piece stalking towards Ron, Harry, falling off his broom fifty feet up in the air, but quickly those memories were replaced by recent more devastating memories. She could hear Nathaniel crying as she watched helplessly through a glass window. She found herself facing Voldemort in the middle of Honeydukes the day Hogwarts was attacked. She was crying over Remus's body as he lay unconscious in his bed.

Then from out of nowhere a more recent memory began bubbling to the surface. Hermione realized with a jolt that it was a memory from just that night. She was remembering what happened after she had knocked James out of the way of the killing curse.

She and James were staring up at their would-be murderer when all of a sudden from upstairs came the distinct cry of one of their sons. As one, they had both moved to try and block Voldemort from getting to their children, but he had tired of their interference. With the slightest flick of his wand they both felt themselves being lifted and thrown against the wall with such force that they were both instantly knocked out.

Hermione's mind went black and then the next memory she was forced to endure began with the sound of Lily screaming for Voldemort not to kill her son. Somehow Hermione had managed to crawl upstairs. She was too weak to stand, but she managed to make her way to the nursery. She could see Lily blocking Harry's crib with her body, then she saw Voldemort lift his wand and deal the killing blow. With Lily out of the way Voldemort peered down at Harry, his wand still outstretched.

Hermione began to scream as two Dementors grabbed her around her arms and dragged her out of the room.

* * *

Remus sat quietly alone away from the small crowd of Order members that had assembled at St. Mungo's. Nathaniel was in his arms whimpering softly for his mother.

Remus was stricken. He had always been able to comfort Nathaniel. Hell, in these last months, he was the only person who could ever really comfort him. But worse than anything, it was Nathaniel's constant pleading for Hermione that had Remus's stomach and head twisting.

In the last four months Nathaniel had been an absolute bear with his mother. He threw food when she tried to feed him, kicked and struggled when she changed him and screamed bloody murder if she picked him up. It had disturbed Remus deeply, but Hermione had tried to make light of everything. She was convinced Nathaniel was just reacting to her long absence and would eventually grow out of it.

But tonight, for the first time, Nathaniel had said mama and now he was inconsolable. Remus could sympathize, he felt rather inconsolable himself.

How could he have been so blind, he thought? How could he not have seen this coming? Hermione had betrayed them all and risked the life of her own son. Remus couldn't quite wrap his mind around the concept. He couldn't help but remember the look in her eyes as Moody dragged her away and the sound of his name on her lips had been so desperate. He stood abruptly and began pacing.

Every time he passed close to the Order members he caught bits of their quiet conversation.

"It explains so much now… Four months… Dumbledore suspected someone… Poor Lupin… Yes, four months… Had no idea where she had been…"

Remus stopped pacing as the bits of conversation ran through him. He had been so relieved to have her back after four months that he never did question where she had been. It seemed ungrateful to want to know after he was so sure she had been dead.

But Voldemort did utilize the Imperius curse to control people. Remus shook the thought away. Surely Dumbledore would have been able to see through that. Then he remembered what Hermione had alleged. She said it had been Polyjuice Potion, that the woman who had lived with them for months was really Sirius's cousin Bellatrix Lestrange. But again, surely Dumbledore would have known. He should have known. He knew everything. They had been depending on Dumbledore.

Remus was deep in thought when Sirius approached. He looked older, as old as Remus felt.

"James is going to make it," said Sirius softly.

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. "Have you talked to him?" asked Remus.

Sirius nodded.

"Does he know about Lily?" asked Remus, a lump forming in his throat.

Sirius nodded again. "Voldemort came to kill Harry," he said quietly.

Remus nodded. "We knew he would. She told us he would." He sighed. "And now he's gone and it's over."

Sirius nodded.

"And she's gone too," he said, his voice cracking. "Sirius, I can't take this. It's too much. I can't wrap my head around it."

"Remus, there's something you should know," said Sirius. "James said Hermione came charging into the house and saved his life. Voldemort was going to kill James and Hermione stopped him."

"I don't understand. If she told him the location of the house, then why would she…" Remus trailed off.

"She must have changed her mind," he said. "She must have regretted what she did and then…"

Remus cut him off. "Or she was telling the truth about the Polyjuice potion and Bellatrix Lestrange." Suddenly he turned and strode toward the Order. "We are so stupid," said Remus under his breath. "How could I have ever thought…?"

"Remus, where are you going?" demanded Sirius.

"Professor McGonagall," interrupted Remus.

Professor McGonagall turned to Remus. "Remus," she began quietly. "I am so sorry."

He handed Nathaniel to her. "Will you look after him for me?" he asked.

"What?" squeaked McGonagall, accepting the boy awkwardly.

"I have something I need to do. Will you look after him?"

"Yes, I suppose, but what…"

"Thank you, Professor," said Remus gratefully. He leaned in and kissed Nathaniel, whose face was still wet with his tears. "Be a good boy," he said, then he snagged Sirius's arm and pulled him away.

"Where are we going?" demanded Sirius, as he allowed Remus to pull him down the corridor of the hospital.

"We're going to rescue Hermione."

Sirius stopped short. "We can't do that," said Sirius. "She's already been sent to Azkaban."

"I will not lose her to Azkaban," snapped Remus. "I will not let her rot away there."

"Remus, be reasonable," began Sirius, but stopped talking abruptly when they found themselves suddenly face to face with Dumbledore.

"Dumbledore," said Remus in surprise. He shot a look at Sirius, clearly demanding his silence.

"Where are you heading?" asked Dumbledore sharply.

"Nowhere," replied Remus automatically, slightly taken aback by Dumbledore's sharp tone.

Dumbledore stared at Remus with piercing eyes.

Suddenly Remus felt angry. "It's none of your business," he snapped.

"Remus I know what you're going to attempt," said Dumbledore.

Remus felt fearful and defiant all at the same time. If anyone could stop him it would be Dumbledore, but he would put up a hell of a fight before it happened.

"You must hurry," said Dumbledore.

"What?" asked Remus in shock.

"The two of you must hurry. You'll have no chance of getting to her once they get her to the island. Bring her to Hogwarts. I'll be waiting for your arrival."

"Then you think she might be innocent?" asked Sirius.

"There is enough guilt and innocence to go around. Hermione would not have been able to do what she did had I not sent her here in the first place. I'm not certain what I was thinking," said Dumbledore with a heavy sigh. "But the time to question the past is gone. We must look to the future. It's time for Hermione to return home."

Remus stared at Dumbledore.

"You understand what I'm saying, Remus," said Dumbledore seriously.

Remus nodded.

"You must bring her to Hogwarts as quickly as possible and you must not be caught doing it by the Ministry."

Again Remus nodded.

"I'll be waiting for you," said Dumbledore and with a pop he disapparated.

"What was that about?" demanded Sirius.

Remus's jaw was clenching and unclenching and he seemed to struggling with something.

"Remus?" prompted Sirius.

Remus cleared his throat, but still he spoke thickly. "The doorway's open," he said softly. "Hermione's going back to her own time tonight."

* * *

"Potter, be reasonable," begged McGonagall. "You've been injured. You can't leave the hospital." She was still holding Nathaniel in her arms and he was reaching her hat. She shifted him to her other hip and tried to distract him, but Nathaniel was undeterred.

James was struggling to get his shoes on while Professor McGonagall fussed. "Where the hell did Moody go?" he demanded.

"I'm sure he's arranging the transfer," replied Professor McGonagall.

"Where's my son?"

"Hagrid has him. James, sit down," said McGonagall in her best professor voice.

James glanced at her. "I'm sorry, Professor. That doesn't work anymore."

"James, I realize that Lily…"

"Don't," shouted James, whirling on her. He immediately felt dizzy and had to brace himself against the bed. He bent his head low and took a few deep. "Just don't," he said. He looked up at her. "How can you hold her son in your arms and accuse her…"

"James, Albus told Alastor that she was the secret keeper. You know it would have been impossible for You-Know-Who to get to you if she hadn't told him."

"The only thing I know that's impossible is that she's guilty of anything. She threw herself in between Voldemort and I."

Professor McGonagall shuddered as James said the name.

"Why would a person do that?"

"I don't know," said McGonagall quietly.

James stood up, feeling a little steadier. "I…"

"Nathaniel," a frantic voice cried out as Robert and Daphne Lupin burst into the hospital room. Mrs. Lupin ran up to Professor McGonagall and took her grandson from him. Professor McGonagall rescued her hat and happily gave him to her. Mr. Lupin was right behind her and wrapped his arms around his wife and grandson.

"We heard there'd been an attack," said Mr. Lupin. "Where are Remus and Hermione?"

Neither James nor Professor McGonagall replied.

"Minerva, where are our kids?" he insisted.

"Robert, maybe we should step outside to discuss this?" said Professor McGonagall softly.

"Oh no," gasped Mrs. Lupin.

"No, no, nothing like that," said Professor McGonagall softly.

"Remus is fine," said James. "It's Hermione who's in trouble."

"Trouble? What kind of trouble?" asked Mr. Lupin.

"They've taken her to Azkaban," said James.

Both the Lupin's gasped in horror.

"If you'll excuse me," said James. "I have to be going. Professor, can you ask Hagrid to take Harry to Hogwarts? And tell him not to let him out of his sight for a second."

"James," Professor McGonagall began, trying to reason with him again.

"Just do it," shouted James, and then he stalked angrily out of the room.

Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stared after him then turned back to McGonagall. She looked grief stricken. "Lily Potter was killed tonight," she said through tears.

"Oh my God," whispered Mrs. Lupin. "No, poor James."

"I'm afraid that's not the worst of it," continued McGonagall. "Please, let's sit and I'll tell you everything I know."

* * *

Remus and Sirius arrived at the Ministry of Magic just as the Dementors were arriving. They hung far back, but still could feel the icy effect the Dementors had on their minds.

"It doesn't look like they've taken Hermione into custody yet," Sirius commented quietly. The first level of the Ministry was completely deserted. Sirius and Remus were both crouching behind the giant fountain in the middle of the expansive room, hiding from view.

"Do you think we could head them off?" asked Remus.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't see how we could."

"We should try," said Remus standing, but Sirius grabbed him and pulled him back down.

"Wait," said Sirius. "Before we go running head long into this, I want you to take a minute to think about what you're about to do."

"I know what I'm doing," snapped Remus. "And when did you get so damn cautious," he accused. "You're the one who always acts before thinking."

"And you're the one who always thinks before he acts," Sirius threw back. "We may be on our way to freeing the woman who murdered Lily."

"Voldemort murdered Lily," hissed Remus.

"And Hermione may have played a part," said Sirius.

"If you're so damn sure she did it, why the hell are you here?" asked Remus angrily.

"Because I'm not sure," said Sirius. "I'm not sure of anything. But I am willing to consider the possibility that she's innocent."

"The possibility?" questioned Remus through gritted teeth.

"You're acting like you didn't think she was guilty as sin earlier tonight," snapped Sirius.

Remus turned red. "Are you going to help me or not?" he demanded.

Sirius clenched his jaw and nodded once. "I'll help. But at the first sign of trouble from her…"

"There won't be any trouble," Remus cut him off and turned away.

The Dementors had long since disappeared. "They'll come back this way," muttered Remus under his breath. They waited for what seemed like hours, but was actually only about twenty minutes before the Dementors returned. Remus and Sirius could hear her screaming before the lift even opened. The Dementors emerged, dragging Hermione between them. Her screams were mournful, animal-like noises.

Remus's face turned furious and he jumped up, charging the Dementor's and screaming, "Expecto Patronum."

The Dementors dropped their hold of Hermione and she crumbled to the floor, her screams turning to whimpers as the Dementors were forced to flee.

Remus ran forward and dropped to the ground next to her. "Hermione?" he said, his voice laced with worry. He rolled her onto her back. Her eyes were closed and she very pale. Remus touched her cheek and it felt so clammy. "Hermione, it's okay. I'm here," he murmured gently, but she didn't respond to him.

Remus looked up to see Sirius standing over them. "What's the matter with her?" he asked. "Why won't she wake up?"

"It's okay," Sirius said, kneeling next to Remus. "She'll be okay in a little while. Wish I had some chocolate though."

"We don't have time to wait," said Remus. He shrugged out of his robe and wrapped it around his wife. Then he tucked his arms under her legs and back and lifted her. He was shocked by how light she was in his arms. He hadn't noticed before now how thin she looked. "We'll apparate to Hogsmeade and walk to Hogwarts.

"Let's hurry," said Sirius. "Someone's bound to have heard and come investigating."

Remus nodded once and then apparated. Instantly he found himself in Hogsmeade and started walking quickly to Hogwarts. Sirius apparated a few seconds after him and had to walk quickly to catch up.

Hermione was beginning to revive in the freezing night air. "Remus," she mumbled lowly.

Remus held her tighter. "I'm here," he replied.

"Where am I?" she asked. "What happened?"

"It's okay, love," said Remus. "You're with me. There's nothing to be scared of anymore."

"Remus, I didn't kill Lily, I swear. Please believe me. Please," she begged softly.

"I do believe you," he answered. "I'm so sorry I ever doubted you."

Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder and wept openly. "It's been so long," she choked out. "I've wished for you for so long."

Remus struggled to keep walking. His throat and eyes burned. It had been so long for them and soon it would be over. He mentally berated himself for not having seen through the charade of the woman who had masqueraded as his wife for so long. How could he have been fooled? It all seemed so obvious to him now.

"I think I can walk now," said Hermione softly when they entered the castle.

Remus reluctantly set her on her feet, but she swayed and he immediately picked her back up. "I prefer holding you anyway," he said with a smile.

She smiled back. Then she spotted Sirius behind them. He was watching her with shrewd eyes. His stare made her uncomfortable and she looked away, laying her head back down on Remus's shoulder. He still doubted her, she could tell. But it didn't matter. The only thing she cared about was that Remus believed her. At the moment she thought she could even face Azkaban as long as Remus believed she was innocent. With a jolt she remembered Azkaban and the Dementors.

Remus felt her go stiff in his arms. "What is it?" he asked.

"What have you done?" she moaned. "Remus, one of us has to stay out of prison for Nathaniel."

Remus would have laughed if she hadn't sounded so distressed. "Don't worry. Nobody's going to prison."

"Why are we at Hogwarts?" she asked again.

"Dumbledore said to come," said Remus evasively.

"But why?" she insisted.

Remus looked at her, but didn't answer. The silence reverberated around the empty hallways of the school.

"Does Dumbledore think I'm innocent?" questioned Hermione, misinterpreting his silence.

"I don't know," replied Remus quietly. "But he won't send you back to the Ministry if that's what you're worried about."

She shrugged. "Where's Nathaniel?" she asked.

"I left him with Professor McGonagall. Don't worry. He's safe."

She nodded. "He's okay, isn't he?"

Remus nodded. "Not a scratch on him."

"And Harry?"

"He's fine too," Remus reassured her.

"What about James," Hermione rushed on.

"James got a bit banged up. Nothing serious," Remus quickly assured her. "Just a couple broken ribs and a concussion. He'll be as good as new by tomorrow."

"Does he know?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

Remus nodded sadly. "Sirius told him."

Tears immediately leaked out of Hermione's eyes. "I saw him do it," she said. "I saw Voldemort kill her. I wanted to stop him, but I was too weak. And then he went for Harry and I… I…" Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to block the memory from her mind.

"Shh," Remus hushed her. "Don't think about it anymore."

"I was supposed to save them," she whimpered. "I was supposed to stop him."

"You did stop him," said Remus sharply, unable to hear the pain in her voice any longer. "You stopped him from killing James and very nearly got yourself killed. James told Sirius how you came charging into the house. He told us you saved his life. If it wasn't for you then Harry would be an orphan right now. And Voldemort's gone too. He won't ever haunt our lives again!"

Hermione didn't answer him. She couldn't bring herself to. After a long pause Hermione asked quietly. "Is that why you believed I was innocent? Because of what James said?"

Remus looked uncomfortable. "It's not the only reason," he began, but they were interrupted By Dumbledore.

"Is Hermione injured?" he asked when he saw Remus carrying her.

"No," said Remus, "just a run in with a couple Dementors." He looked at Hermione and she nodded before he set her down, but he kept his arm around her waist, supporting her.

A flicker of worry passed over Dumbledore's eyes. "We must hurry then. This will be easier if there's no interference from the Ministry."

"What will be easier?" asked Hermione.

Dumbledore looked quickly between Remus and Sirius. "Haven't you told her?"

Both of them looked away uncomfortable.

"Told me what?" insisted Hermione, feeling frustrated that no one was answering any of her questions.

Dumbledore fixed his eyes on her. "The doorway has opened," he answered. "It's time for you to return to your own time."

* * *

A/N: Beware of HBP spoilers! Sorry, I can't help myself.

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Beware of HBP spoilers!

Okay, now that that's out of the way I am free to ramble.

First let me say how incredibly sorry I am for killing Lily off. I didn't want to do it, but I had to. Believe me I've been trying for weeks, if not months to figure out how to avoid it and still keep Harry essentially the same Harry we know and love from the books. If I had read HBP first I might not have done it. Since, according to Dumbledore, the prophecies don't have to necessarily come true. I probably would have just had Hermione kill Voldemort. But alas it was too late. I absolutely hated doing it, but I've been planning this story since the beginning and Lily was never going to make it. I'm so so so so sorry.

Second, I never even considered the possibility that Snape was the Death Eater that overheard the prophecy. Now that I know I have to figure out some way to kill him off. Preferably in a painful way. I never really liked Snape, although you might think I did considering I wrote an AU HP story about him and his daughter, but now I hate him with a white hot hate. I've seen the theories that say he's still a good guy and that he had to kill Dumbledore for whatever reason, but I don't buy it. Actually, considering how JKR works I do consider the remote possibility, but I wouldn't care if he was. He killed Dumbledore, who is infinitely more valuable than him. If he was really a good guy then he should have sacrificed himself. Anyway there's no way he would have formed the unbreakable bond with Narcissa Malfoy if he was good. I just can't see it. He would have made up some excuse about Voldemort not permitting it or something.

Now on to the new relationships… Happy for all H/R shippers everywhere. There were some cute bits although I was hoping for them to get together before the seventh book. The H/G shippers out there must be ecstatic. As far as canon goes I always knew those two pairs would be the ones that made it. Although I love H/H stories, I know there was nothing in the books to suggest that it would ever happen. On to Tonks and Remus. Okay, didn't see that one coming. It seems weird to me. I was never much of a Tonks fan, but it's cool I suppose. No, no it's not. Remus would never be with her. She's weird and he's lovely and serious. I don't like it. (Of course, what would I say considering the fic I am currently writing?)

Oh one last thing. I know who R.A.B. is. He he he. It's not too hard to figure out and it sets up great seventh book possibilities. Do you want to know? Of course you do. It's REGULAS ALPHARD BLACK! That's why Sirius had to die.

One last thing! I have heard some theories on the Horcruxes and what the last ones might be. Some people are theorizing it might be Harry and therefore he will have to die in order to finally kill Voldemort. Let me just say that I absolutely think this is crazy. First, I don't think a person could be a Horcrux. Otherwise Dumbledore would have said Quirell was one. I think that was possession. Plus when Harry was in the Ministry of Magic, Voldemort possessed him and experienced intense pain. If part of his soul was in Harry wouldn't they both be in excrutiating pain? Also I know where Slytherin's locket is. It's in #12 Grimmault Place. Re-read OOTP if you don't believe me. Pay particular attention to when they're cleaning the house. This also supports my R.A.B. theory.

(Deep sigh of relief) Okay, I feel better now that it's all out. I've been dying to share and see what other people think.

Hope you liked my chapter. It pales in comparison to anything JKR does, but I love it anyway.


	68. Chapter 68

"The doorway has opened," Dumbledore said. "It's time for you to return to your own time."

"What?" gasped Hermione.

"We must hurry," he said.

Remus started to move forward, his arm still around Hermione's waist.

"Remus, we have to talk about this," said Hermione quietly. She allowed Remus to help her begin to ascend the stairs. They followed Dumbledore and Sirius followed them, but their progress was slow because Hermione was still very weak. "You can't seriously mean to let me go?"

Remus didn't answer, but he did pull her a little tighter against him.

"Remus?" she questioned, her voice breaking.

He stopped and pulled her into a tight hug in between the second and third floor staircase. She buried her face in his chest and gripped his shirt with both her hands. "I don't want to lose you," he choked out. "But I don't… There's just no other… I don't know what the right thing to do is." The realization of what he was about to do suddenly hit him. He had actually brought Hermione to Hogwarts to send her back to her time.

Since they began dating all those years ago, losing her was the one thing he had feared. He always knew that the possibility of her leaving forever loomed in their future. But now that he was faced with it, it seemed like a foreign concept. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around the fact that she wouldn't be here tomorrow and it made him feel like someone had punched him in the stomach over and over again.

Dumbledore was already halfway up the staircase when they stopped and he turned around and looked at the couple. "Remus," he said quietly.

Remus looked up and Dumbledore could see that he was in agony. "Yes, I know," he said tightly and began leading Hermione up the stairs again.

For her part, she was too miserable and weak to stop him. Before she was quite ready they were facing the doorway. She stared at it and clung to Remus. There was nothing particularly remarkable about the doorway. It looked like any other door in the castle. Nothing in particular marked it for the powerful magic it embodied.

"Give us a minute," Remus stated rather than asked.

Both Dumbledore and Sirius moved to the far end of the hallway so Remus and Hermione could have some privacy.

"If you think I'm putting one foot through that doorway then you're mistaken," Hermione began immediately.

"Hermione," Remus began.

"Remus, how can you even think I would leave you and Nathaniel?"

"I know this is hard, but it's the only way." Remus couldn't look her in the eye as he said it. He hated himself, but if it meant she wouldn't spend the rest of her life in Azkaban then he would do it.

"Hard?" she asked, feeling a little hysterical over her husband's near emotionless state. "Hard? No, it's impossible. There's nothing left there for me."

"Your whole life is there," he replied, unconvincingly.

"My whole life is here," she said, pressing her hand against his heart. "It's here with you and our child."

He took her hand in his and pressed it to his lips. "I love you so much. You are my best friend and my wife and the only reason to get up every morning." He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. "That's why if you stay you'll ruin our lives."

Hermione started sobbing.

Remus couldn't stop the tears as he continued. "If I had to live every day of my life knowing you were dying a little every day in Azkaban then I couldn't go on. But if I knew that somewhere you were happy… even if I couldn't be with you…" he couldn't continue. His heart was broken and there were no words left.

They held each other and cried for a long time, neither one of them able to take the next step.

At some point Dumbledore approached and Hermione looked at him, her eyes burning with anger and accusations. His own eyes were filled with guilt and sorrow. "I am sorry, Hermione," he said quietly.

Hermione turned all her attention back to Remus. "Please don't let Nathaniel grow up thinking the worst of me," she said.

"I won't," he promised.

"And remember even though Voldemort's gone for now, the Death Eater's aren't. They might still come after Harry or Nathaniel."

"I'll make sure nothing happens to either of them," he replied.

She nodded. "Let your mom help you. He'll need a mother."

"He has a mother," Remus said, his voice tight.

Hermione wiped at the moisture on her face. "She loves you both and she was a wonderful mother to you. I want him to know that feeling."

"He will," promised Remus.

"But don't let her spoil him," she added.

He shook his head. "Not too much."

Hermione smiled and started to take a step back, but another thought entered her mind. "And whatever you do, don't let him up on a broom before he's ten!"

Remus smiled. "We'll see," he said.

Hermione bit her bottom lip. "Well, use your judgment," she compromised.

Then she put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "We didn't have enough time," she whispered, achingly.

"A lifetime wasn't going to be enough time to love you," he answered. He held her back and tried to memorize how she felt and smelled and looked. Finally, Remus kissed her very softly and let her go. He forced himself to take a few steps away from her. "I love you," he said softly.

"I love you," she mouthed back, unable to get any sound out of her mouth. Then with one last look, she turned her back to him and faced the doorway.

Dumbledore whispered instructions to her. "Just walk through the doorway and shut it behind you. The rest will take care of itself," he told her.

She nodded and stepped forward. Her hand was on the door handle and she paused. Then she turned and pushed past Dumbledore. Remus met her halfway and she threw herself back into his arms. "I can't do it," she cried. "Please don't ask me to." Remus couldn't disagree. As soon as she had touched the door, he had thrown himself forward to stop her.

"I just can't leave you and Nathaniel," she continued, getting a hold of her emotions. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "There has to be another way."

Remus nodded fast. "Yes," he agreed eagerly. "We'll find another way."

"Remus," said Professor Dumbledore sharply. "You are both at risk as long as she stays. I would not put it past Barty Crouch to indict you as well."

"I'm willing to risk it," he shouted.

"What will happen to Nathaniel if you do?" asked Professor Dumbledore. "I know this is difficult for the two of you, but you knew there were risks when you married. You knew this day might one day come."

"You said I would have a choice," said Hermione. "This is my choice."

"If this was the right thing to do," added Remus. "It wouldn't feel so wrong."

"Hermione, in less than twenty-four hours you will have lost your chance to return home forever," said Dumbledore quietly.

"This is my home, now," she said firmly.

"Hermione…"

"I think you want me to go through that door because you feel guilty about how things turned out," she accused, interrupting him. "Your future self sent me without asking me, without explaining even in a small way what I was supposed to do. You took all my choices away from me. I won't let you do it again."

Hermione was in the middle of her rant at Dumbledore when Remus and Sirius noticed they were no longer alone.

"What's she doin' here?" growled Hagrid. He had walked in with Harry when Hermione had begun yelling at Dumbledore and looked none too happy.

Hermione whirled around.

Remus stepped between her and Hagrid. "She's innocent, Hagrid," he said.

"She was James and Lily's secret keeper. No one else coulda told You-Know-Who where they were," he insisted.

"It wasn't her, Hagrid," repeated Remus. "It was Bellatrix Lestrange. She used Polyjuice potion to pretend to be Hermione."

"That's crazy," said Hagrid.

"Wait a minute," said Sirius suddenly. "What are you doing with Harry? Where's James?"

"Dunno," said Hagrid. "Professor McGonagall told me I was to take Harry to Hogwarts."

"Where is Minerva?" asked Dumbledore.

"She was with the Lupin's when I left St. Mungo's with Harry." He told Professor Dumbledore.

"My parents are at St. Mungo's?" questioned Remus.

Hagrid nodded. "They seemed upset to me."

Remus groaned. "McGonagall didn't tell them Hermione had been sent to Azkaban, did she?"

Hagrid shrugged. "Dunno. All I was told was ter bring Harry to Hogwarts."

"And you have no idea where James went?" asked Hermione, her voice tinged with worry.

Hagrid ignored her.

Hermione frowned. "Hagrid, please. He's hurt. He shouldn't be wandering alone in the middle of the night."

"Well," began Hagrid gruffly. "If my wife had just been murdered and my son was motherless, I'd be hunting down the people responsible and bringin 'em to justice."

Hermione paled.

Remus turned to her. "Hermione…"

"Remus!" shouted a voice from the distance.

"That sounds like," began Hermione.

"My mother," finished Remus.

Then they each heard their son. He was crying, filling his lungs over and over. As one, they went running. "Mum," Remus yelled out.

"Remus," she answered loudly. Hermione and Remus met Mr. and Mrs. Lupin and Nathaniel halfway down the hall. They were all talking at once.

Mr. Lupin managed to make himself heard above everyone. "Moody and Crouch are on their way," he fairly yelled. Everyone froze.

"Why?" asked Remus. He looked accusingly at his parents. "Why would they be on their way here?"

"They know you rescued Hermione from the Dementors," said Mrs. Lupin. "They suspected you were coming here to get help from Dumbledore."

"We only came here hoping to head them off," said Mr. Lupin. "We had to warn you if we could."

"Then you know and you don't think she's guilty?" asked Remus uncertainly.

"Of course not," said his mother fiercely. She went to Hermione and handed Nathaniel over to her. Hermione cradled her son's head and pressed him to her own face. His tiny pudgy hands rested on her cheeks and he began to calm. "How could you think we'd believe our daughter-in-law was in league with You-Know-Who," she chastised Remus.

Remus could only smile, "sorry, mum," he murmured.

"The three of you have to get out of here," said Mr. Lupin. "I don't think I've ever seen Barty Crouch so angry." Mr. Lupin turned to Dumbledore, who had joined the small group along with Sirius, Hagrid, and Harry. "He's not happy with you either," he said to Dumbledore. "He said if he finds out you're involved he'll arrest you himself."

Dumbledore accepted this news with an impassive face.

"Right," said Remus, feeling the weight of everything settling on his shoulders. "We'll be off then." He put his hand on Hermione's waist and pushed her gently forward.

"Wait," she said, her voice sounded tortured. "We can't do this. We can't do this to Nathaniel." She looked pleadingly at Remus. "We're being selfish."

"If you leave," he said firmly, "then everything that is warm and good and gentle will be out of his life. We've made our decision. Now you let me figure out the rest."

Hermione stared in his eyes and then down at their son and she nodded. She wasn't a person who ever gave up control, but she found she didn't have anything left in her. It had been such a long journey and she was so tired. And when she felt her son in her arms she knew nothing else mattered.

Remus turned to his father. "I don't know where to take them, dad," he pleaded.

Robert Lupin looked over his son, daughter-in-law, and grandson and felt very angry. Remus shouldn't have had this burden when he was still so young. But he was also proud of his son, standing there with a wife and child and prepared to do anything to protect them. "You can't run forever, son," said his father. "Maybe we can reason with Crouch, get him to examine the evidence."

"The evidence has already been examined," said Bartemius Crouch as he appeared quite suddenly before them. If Hermione hadn't known better, she might have believed he apparated. Moody was beside him and both their wands were out. "Based on Dumbledore's testimony alone we had the authority to send her to Azkaban."

"Things may not be what they appeared," spoke up Dumbledore, stepping forward.

"Was she or was she not the secret keeper?" asked Moody.

"She wasn't," Remus spoke up, maneuvering himself in front of Hermione and Nathaniel. "It was Bellatrix Lestrange. She was using Polyjuice Potion to impersonate Hermione for the past three months."

Crouch scoffed. "That is highly unlikely."

"Why?" demanded Remus.

"Because she lived with all of you all that time," he said simply. "Do you honestly expect us to believe that she lived with Moody's two best Aurors and was made secret-keeper by Albus Dumbledore himself and no one ever suspected she might not be who she was. For all we know," Crouch continued addressing Remus directly, "she's using the Imperius Curse on you right now."

There was silence in the room. "Hermione, there is nowhere to run that we can't find you," said Moody, speaking for the first time. "Hand over that child to Remus and give yourself up."

"You're not even willing to listen," she said. "I've been trapped in Lucius Malfoy's home for nearly six months while I had to endure knowing what they planned on doing to my family. Lily Potter is dead because of them. And all you care about is closing the case. You don't even care if you bring the real people to justice."

Crouch laughed cruelly. "And now she's blaming Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy is from one of our most respected and prominent families. How dare you accuse him?"

"We Lupin's may not have as old a family name as the Malfoy's, but we are still respected in our community," said Mrs. Lupin, stepping forward. "How dare you accuse our daughter?"

"You're lucky we don't charge your son as well," roared Crouch, finally losing his temper. "Both of them are subversives who've already shown a disregard for the laws of our community. Believe me, if there was even a hint of evidence that implicated him, he'd be sharing a cell in Azkaban with his wife."

Daphne Lupin pulled out her wand in a flash. "How dare you threaten my son," she yelled.

"Your son is nothing but a werewolf," Crouch roared back.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stepped in front of their children. "If you want to take her, you'll have to get past us," said Mr. Lupin, much more calmly than his wife. They had both drawn their wands.

"And me," Sirius spoke up, taking a position next to Mr. Lupin.

"And me," said a voice behind Moody and Crouch. James had arrived and he looked awful. He was pale and breathing hard.

"James," gasped Hermione and she started to move forward, but Remus grabbed her arm.

"Potter, what are you doing here?"

"Stopping this," he answered, breathing heavily as he crossed the room and stood next to Sirius.

"It's your wife she murdered," said Crouch incredulously.

"Voldemort murdered my wife," shouted James. "Hermione saved my life and she saved Harry."

"Perhaps she felt guilty," said Crouch.

"Perhaps she didn't do it," answered James. "You've gone too far this time Crouch. We've become no better than the Death Eaters, handing out punishment before we even know a crime has been committed."

"A crime has been committed," said Moody. "A crime against you and your son. Harry doesn't have a mother thanks to that filth."

"Hermione's the closest thing to a mother he'll have now," answered James, his eyes flashing, "thanks to Voldemort."

"This is ridiculous. I'll arrest all of you if you don't stand aside," ranted Crouch.

"Then you'll have to arrest us all," said Mr. Lupin, "because we won't stand aside."

Hermione thought her heart would burst with love for her family and friends who were all willing to risk everything for her.

Finally Dumbledore stepped forward. "I think we are at an impasse," he said calmly.

"There is no impasse," screeched Crouch. "You will all step aside and hand the girl over to us."

"Now Crouch," admonished Moody. "There's no need to lose control. We must appear reasonable."

"I am reasonable," roared Crouch.

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. "I'm glad to hear it. Then let us strike a bargain. Hermione Lupin will remain here at Hogwarts for the time being while you investigate this new evidence. If at the end of your investigation you still find evidence of her guilt then we will turn her over to you for a full trial before the Wizengamot."

"That will be acceptable," said Moody, stepping forward before Crouch could say anything.

"And how do we know she'll remain here and not be allowed to sneak off in the middle of the night."

"Don't you doubt Professor Dumbledore," roared Hagrid, jumping forward. Hermione squeaked, wanting desperately to rescue Harry from Hagrid's arms. Harry immediately started crying when Hagrid shouted. Hagrid rocked the baby with more gentleness than anyone thought possible at the moment, but continued to glare at Crouch.

Either Crouch was braver than most or dumber, but he stared levelly at Hagrid before turning slightly toward Dumbledore and nodding once. "You are responsible for her," he said firmly. "When I return I expect her to be here."

"I will be," Hermione answered for Dumbledore.

Then Crouch and Moody both pocketed their wands and walked away from the group, leaving the castle.

Remus practically swept Hermione off her feet in his massive embrace. The tears that fell down her face were ones of pure relief. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stood close by, holding each other and beaming. When Remus finally released her, Hermione's eyes went to James. Sirius, Dumbledore and Hagrid were all surrounding him. He was leaning against the wall, with his eyes closed. Hermione handed Nathaniel to Remus and walked slowly toward him. He opened his eyes when she was directly in front of him.

"Thank you, James," she said softly.

The control that James had been exercising seemed to break in that moment and he began to cry. Hermione's arms immediately went around him and they both sank to the floor. It was gut wrenching to watch the grief pour from him, but Hermione held him close, rocking him slightly and letting him cry.

After a long time, when he had finally cried himself out, she helped him to his feet. "It's been a long night. It's time everyone went to bed." She led James to the hospital wing and everyone followed. The hospital wing was thankfully empty.

Hermione put James to bed and drew a curtain around him. Then she took Harry from Hagrid and used Remus's wand to transform two of the other beds into cribs. Harry fussed when she set him down, but she didn't pick him back up. After Harry was in his crib, she took Nathaniel and put him in the second crib.

Then she hated herself for doing it, but she went to Hagrid and asked, "Do you think you could go down to the kitchens and see if the house elves could bring up some food and two bottles of formula for the boys?"

Hagrid nodded and quickly hurried away.

Hermione turned and faced everyone who was left. "I just wanted to say thank you for everything you all did tonight. I know each of you had your suspicions at some point, but I… I am so thankful you chose to believe me in the end."

Remus beamed at his wife and stepped forward and pulled her into a massive embrace. "We love you, darling. You never have to doubt that."

"You're all welcome to stay at Hogwarts tonight," said Professor Dumbledore. "But if you'll excuse me, there's something I must do." He turned to Hermione. "Will you join me?" he asked.

Remus held her a little tighter, but she patted his arm gently. "Of course," she answered. "No, you stay here," she told Remus when he began to follow her. "Feed the boys when Hagrid gets back."

"Hermione," he began.

She took his face in her hands and smiled gently. "I'll be right back. I promise."

Remus released her reluctantly and Hermione followed Dumbledore out.

"I'm not going back," said Hermione when she and Dumbledore were finally alone.

Dumbeldore nodded. "You've made that decision clear. I won't try to change your mind."

Hermione wondered why they were apparently headed back to the seventh floor.

As if reading her mind, Dumbledore continued to speak. "For your own piece of mind I want you to make the decision alone without anyone around." They arrived together back in front of the doorway. "I will leave you alone now," said Dumbledore. "Make this decision for yourself, Hermione," he said gently before leaving.

Hermione stood in front of the doorway and stared at it. The air was thick with magic, but silent and she was grateful. For the first time she was able to feel her emotions properly and think clearly. She couldn't deny the part of her that missed her parents and the life she had left. She missed Harry and Ron, but she also discovered that the ache she used to feel when she thought about them wasn't there anymore.

Neither of them would ever be replaced in her heart, but when she thought of Remus and Nathaniel, waiting for her below, she knew what her decision must be.

Loving Harry and Ron had prepared her for the next loves of her life. When she thought of Remus, her heart still fluttered with excitement and love. And when she thought of Nathaniel, she thought her heart would burst with love. She had been given such a precious gift and she couldn't just throw it away.

Hermione put one hand on the door and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "Goodbye," she whispered. Then she turned her back on it and walked back to her boys.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The next morning, Hermione awoke very slowly. She felt warm and comfortable and she didn't want to move.

"Good morning," said Remus, kissing her temple softly. Hermione realized why she was so warm and comfortable. Remus was spooned tightly against her with one warm hand splayed across her stomach. She stretch and turned in his arms so they were facing each other.

"Morning," she answered softly.

He stroked her hair gently. "I forgot how beautiful you are first thing in the morning."

She smiled and shook her head.

"No, I mean it," he insisted. "Your hair is all wild and your eyes are so bright and relaxed." He leaned forward and kissed her nose. "Beautiful."

"Some nights I would dream you were holding me and when I woke up the pain of you not being there was almost unbearable," she told him.

"It'll never happen again," he promised her. He smiled wickedly. "I can't wait to get you alone. It's been so long since we made love and I want you so badly."

A flicker of pain crossed Hermione's face.

"What is it?" asked Remus, his voice full of concern.

"Nothing," she answered quickly.

"It's not nothing," he said and he wiped a lone tear that had fallen down the side of her face. Hermione hadn't realized she'd started crying.

Hermione took a deep breath. "I know I don't have a right to be upset, but the idea of you and Bellatrix Lestrange. Remus, I just want to kill her. I hate her so much and I…"

Remus tightened his hold on his wife and put his finger over her mouth. "I never slept with Bellatrix," he told her forcefully.

"But…" she started.

"Hermione, I never had sex with her," he said firmly. "Not once. She kicked me out of our room. I didn't understand then."

"But she told me," interrupted Hermione. "When she would come for the Polyjuice potion she would tell me how you doted on her and… and…," she couldn't finish because Remus kissed her firmly on the lips.

"You are the only woman I've ever been with," he told her. "And you're the only woman I'll ever be with."

"Oh, Remus," Hermione sighed happily and she melted into his arms.

They lingered in bed a long time, enjoying the feel of each other, even as they longed for more. Finally, the world could not be put off any longer. Nathaniel and Harry both woke at the same time and demanded attention. They each attended to one boy, letting James sleep as long as he could. Hermione knew today would be a long day for him and she was in no hurry for him to start it.

As she rocked and fed Harry with Remus beside her with their own son, she realized just how blessed her life truly was. There would be much to deal with in the coming weeks, but Hermione knew they would get through it because they had each other.

The end!

* * *

A/N: It's finally over. I've taken more enjoyment from writing this piece than any other piece I've written. I have to say that this has truly been one of the most rewarding writing experiences I've had. Fan fiction is so much more than just a copy of another person's genius. It is a tribute to that genius. I can't thank you all enough for your encouragement. I hope I didn't disappoint.

A/N 2: For those of you who wondered where I got RAB's middle name from, I have to confess it isn't anywhere in the books as far as I can tell. I am deducing that is what the middle name was because that was the name of Sirius's uncle who gave him money when he left home and JKR tends to give her characters family middle names, for example Ron BILIUS Weasley and Harry JAMES Potter.

A/N 3: Do you want an epilogue? First day at Hogwarts perhaps? Only teasing, it's already half written. I'll try and post in a week. The epilogue won't have anything to do with the plot though. The story is complete. I know some people are begging for a sequel, but I have to admit I'm a bit exhausted creatively. I'm not sure where I would go from here. Maybe I'll revisit one of my other stories or I do have a small idea for something new, a trio centered fic picking up where HBP left off. But you're the reader, what do you want to see?

Oh and by the way, if you've never reviewed before will you please review now? I am intensely curious as to exactly how many people actually were reading this fic. Thanks!


	69. Epilogue

Epilogue:

Hermione Lupin flicked her wand and the newly washed dishes that were sitting in the sink rose, shook themselves dry, and with another flick, stacked themselves neatly in a pile. She was about to start putting the leftovers in the refrigerator when she heard a loud crash followed by an even louder shriek.

Hermione sighed and went to the front of the hallway. "Nathaniel Remus Lupin and Harry James Potter, I told you to get ready for bed," she yelled.

"Yes mum," Nathaniel yelled back.

"We are Aunt Hermione," yelled Harry.

Hermione waited, silently listening. The boys were quiet for about a minute, before she could hear the sounds of muffled laughter.

"They're just excited," said Remus, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed the back of her neck.

"They'll never get up in the morning if they don't get to bed soon," answered Hermione, giggling as Remus's beard tickled her neck. "And I thought you were going to shave?" she asked.

"I thought you liked the beard," he said rubbing his cheek against hers.

"Of course I like it," she said, turning in his arms. "I like everything about your face." She placed her hands on the sides of his face and leaned in to kiss him. Their kiss was growing passionate when they were interrupted by another loud crash. They released each other, groaning loudly.

"I'll go," said Remus.

"No, I'll go," returned Hermione. She slipped down the hall and opened Nathaniel's bedroom door quietly. She could hear the two boys whispering animatedly to each other. "It doesn't sound like you're getting ready for bed," she said, pushing the door open fully.

Nathaniel and Harry looked up sharply and Hermione could see Nathaniel push something behind him. "We're in our pajamas," Nathaniel pointed out.

She smiled. "You two aren't up to anything are you?" she asked.

"No mum," said Nathaniel solemnly.

"Harry?" asked Hermione.

Harry shook his head, but he lowered his eyes. He never could lie to her. Hermione tried desperately not to laugh. She knew they were up to something, but they were both good kids and she knew it wouldn't be anything too serious.

"You know we have to get to King's Cross Station early tomorrow morning to catch the Hogwarts Express," she said. "You need some sleep."

"We can sleep on the train, mum," complained Nathaniel.

"Nathaniel Lupin, I want you in bed now," said Hermione, using the tone the brooked no argument. "Both of you."

"Yes mum," he said sullenly.

Nathaniel jumped off Harry's bed and bounded into his own. As the boys settled under the covers, Hermione gathered the dirty clothes they had thrown on the floor. Then she went to Nathaniel's bed and smoothed the comforter over his chest. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Nathaniel," she said quietly.

"Love you too, mum," he answered.

She smiled. "You're going to have such a wonderful time a school," she added.

Nathaniel lifted his arms and hugged his mother tightly.

She returned his hug and noted that he let her hold him longer than he normally did. At the age of eleven he was already beginning to think hugs from his mother were a bit embarrassing. "Go to sleep," she whispered as she stood and went to Harry's bed. She sat on the edge. "Are you ready for your first day of school tomorrow?" she asked.

Harry shrugged.

"Are you okay, Harry?" she asked her voice full of concern.

He nodded.

"You know, it's okay to be nervous about your first day of school," she said.

Harry's eyes darted to Nathaniel. "I'm not nervous," he said, shooting a glance at Nathaniel. "Just tired," he finished.

Hermione smiled and smoothed his black hair back from his forehead, exposing the small lightening shaped scar she hadn't been able to save him from. "Your dad's going to meet us at Platform 9 ¾ tomorrow morning." James had been on an extended Auror assignment during the last week of the summer and Harry had been staying with them. "Try and get some sleep," she said gently. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I love you," she said.

"I love you too, Aunt Hermione," he answered with a small smile. "Good night."

"Good night," she answered and stood.

Remus was hovering in the doorway as she turned. "My turn," he said.

"I want the lights out in five minutes," she said warningly.

"Yes, ma'am," replied Remus, trying to keep the smile from his face. Hermione left the room, knowing the lights wouldn't be out in anything less than fifteen minutes. Remus and Nathaniel shared a special bond and once they got talking neither one of them knew how to stop. She loved how close they were. It had been that way since Nathaniel was a baby.

Hermione settled her hand over her still flat stomach. She only hoped Remus would share that same bond with their next child. She closed her eyes and wondered what it would be like with this next child. Her first pregnancy had been so full of drama, but now that decree 47 had been repealed, she wasn't worried about any Ministry interference. All she had to worry about was telling Remus. She wanted it to be perfect this time. With a sigh, Hermione threw the boys dirty clothes in the hamper and then went to her own room. By the time Remus joined her, she had showered and changed and was in bed reading.

He flopped onto the bed, facing her. "They're asleep," he said.

Hermione glanced at the clock by the bed. "And it's only 10:30," she answered.

Remus pulled himself up and kissed his wife. "Early enough," he said against her lips. He plucked the book she was holding out of her hand and tossed it onto the floor.

"Remus," she giggled, as he pulled her down and settled on top of her.

He kissed her neck working his way down her body. "I didn't know how I was going to stand his being so far away," he said between kisses, "but you must admit there will be some advantages to having him at school."

Hermione sighed as he kissed her stomach over her silk nightgown. She could feel the heat of his mouth and it was sending tingles through her body.

"We've never really been alone," he said, lifting his head. "We got pregnant over our honeymoon and then with the war and everything…," he trailed off.

"So you're looking forward to some alone time?" she asked hesitatingly.

He smiled. "Aren't you?"

She nodded. "I suppose."

Remus crawled back up and kissed her lips lightly. "I'm going to miss him too."

"I can't believe the time went by so quickly," she said with a sigh.

"I know," he agreed and then he kissed her again and neither one of them said anything for a long time.

The next morning, Hermione woke before anyone. She showered and dressed and went to the kitchen to make the boys breakfast. To her surprise, when she entered the kitchen she discovered someone was already there. "Harry," she said in surprise.

"Morning," he mumbled. He was eating a bowl of cereal and looking a bit morose.

Hermione pulled a bowl out of the cupboard and set it next to him. Then she poured in the cereal and milk and sat down. "So, are you going to tell me what's the matter?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"Harry, tell me," she insisted. "You've always been able to talk to me."

"What if nobody likes me at school?" he asked quietly.

"It's not possible," she replied with a smile.

"What if it's like it was five years ago?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "It won't be," she said.

"But what if it is?"

Hermione bit her bottom lip thoughtfully, wondering how to ease his fears.

Harry and James hadn't had an easy time after Lily's death. The wizarding world had considered Harry some kind of deity and they hadn't left James in peace to properly grieve for his wife. The continuing questions regarding Hermione's involvement or lack of involvement hadn't died down either. Ultimately, thanks to the support of James, Sirius, and Dumbledore, the ministry had not charged Hermione. But Crouch never forgot how they had stood against him and he hadn't done anything to dispel the rumors of her involvement either.

James had been severely criticized for allowing Hermione access to Harry, but he hadn't cared. As far as he was concerned, Hermione was the closest thing to a mother Harry had now and he wasn't going to bow down to pressure to keep her away from him.

But worse than the adoring fans were the former Death Eater's who they weren't able to put in Azkaban, including the Malfoy's and the Lestrange's. Every now and again James would get threats that couldn't be traced. When Harry was nearly six there had been a kidnapping attempt. It was then that James decided he couldn't risk raising Harry in the wizarding world. He had taken Harry into hiding, though he maintained his relationship with the Lupin's and Sirius. He also took jobs with the Ministry every now and then when there was a special case. When that happened he could always count on Hermione to look after Harry as if he were her own son.

"Do you remember what happened back then?" asked Hermione.

"Some," said Harry with a shrug.

"Your dad did what was best for you. He sacrificed a lot."

"We had to run away because people hate me," he said.

"That's not true," said Hermione with a gasp. "Is that what you think?"

"Dad said we had to leave home because people wanted to hurt me," he said. "Why would they want to hurt me unless they hated me?"

Hermione put her hand on Harry's shoulder. "We never lie to each other, do we Harry?" she asked.

He shook his head. "What's the point? You always know everything anyway."

She smiled. "That's right," she agreed. "So you know I'm not lying now. You are special. Something happened to you when you were a baby that marked you as special. And some people are afraid of special. Some people hate special."

"I wish I wasn't special," said Harry.

"I know," she said. "Sometimes I wish that too. I wish the only people who knew how special you are, are your dad, me, Uncle Remus, and Uncle Sirius. But being special isn't the end of the world and there are people who will love you despite it."

"What if Nate and I aren't sorted into the same house? Then I won't have any friends."

Hermione smiled.

"What?" he demanded.

"You're going to make some of the best friends of your life at Hogwarts," she said. "It's where your father met Sirius and Remus and look how long they've been friends."

Harry smiled. "Yeah," he agreed. "And where Uncle Remus met you and Dad met Mum."

"That's right," she said with a smile. She put her hand over his. "So no worries, okay."

Harry gave her a small smile and nodded.

"Good. Now go upstairs and get ready," she ordered.

"Yes, Aunt Hermione," he said and he jumped up from his chair and hurried to Nathaniel's room.

Hermione waited until he was gone before dropping her head into her hands. She was as worried as Harry was, but she couldn't let him know that. She jumped about a mile when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry," said Remus, rubbing her shoulder. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," she answered, placing her hand over his. "Did you hear?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "He'll be fine," Remus tried to reassure her.

"He's got a tough seven years coming up," she said. "I wish I could convince James to tell him about the prophecy. He should know what's coming."

Remus sighed. They'd had this argument too many times to count. "You don't know what's coming," he said. "And James is his father. It's up to him."

"James is wrong," said Hermione. She stood and began clearing the dishes.

"In your opinion," said Remus. He happened to agree with James. "Harry deserves to be a child. He shouldn't have to worry about adult responsibilities."

"Sirius agrees with me," Hermione countered.

"Sirius is never around," Remus snapped back. "And I don't want to have this argument for the fiftieth time. It is James' decision and you have to accept that."

"Sirius understands that Harry needs to be prepared," Hermione shot back, her voice rising slightly. "We could be leaving him vulnerable."

"Muuuuummmmm," shouted Nathaniel from his room, interrupting his parent's argument. "I can't find my socks."

"Nathaniel, they're already packed," answered Hermione in exasperation.

"Not those socks," he yelled. "My self-warming ones."

"Oh for the love of God," sighed Hermione.

"Do you want me to help him?" asked Remus.

"No, I'll take care of it," she answered.

As she passed her husband, he extended his hand and stopped her. "Let's not fight about this today," he said quietly. "This is a special day for us."

Hermione nodded and smiled. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Me too," he answered. He leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. "Go help our son." She nodded and continued on to Nathaniel's room.

"Muuummm," Nathaniel yelled again then he looked over and saw his mother framed in his bedroom door with her hands on her hips.

"Nathaniel Remus Lupin, what in the name of Merlin do you need with self-warming socks in the middle of summer?"

He shrugged. "It might be cold in the castle at night."

Hermione bit back a smile. "It won't be cold," she reassured him.

"Well what about in the winter?" Nathaniel insisted.

"Your father and I will send the socks then," she assured him.

Nathaniel opened his mouth to protest further, but shut it when he saw the look his mum was giving him. "Fine," he said with all the exasperation he could muster.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Bathroom," answered Nathaniel. He smirked. "He's trying to make his hair lie flat." Nathaniel pulled out his wand. "I offered to do this new spell I learned from our school books, but he said I'd just end up setting it on fire. Personally, I think that might be an improvement."

"No spells until you're at school. You know the rules," said Hermione, but she was having a very hard time keeping a stern face. As close as Nathaniel was to his father, he had inherited his two godfather's carefree and adventurous spirits. It worried Hermione how often he jumped into situations before carefully weighing the possible outcomes. "Now," she continued. "Close that trunk and finish getting dressed. We have to leave soon."

Nathaniel reluctantly shut his trunk with a snap. Hermione covered her mouth and left the room quickly. Remus was waiting just outside the room for her.

"He's just excited," he said quietly.

"I know," she replied. "I remember the day I left for Hogwarts like it was yesterday. I thought I was going to be sick."

"Not me," said Remus. "I was too excited to keep still. I just knew exciting things were going to happen to me at that school."

"And they did," smiled Hermione, stepping into his arms and putting her hands on his waist. "You met me."

"That's right," he said, bending and kissing the tip of her nose.

"You're not going to do that at the train station, are you?" asked Nathaniel. He was frowning up at his parents, clearly annoyed.

"Are you ready to go?" asked Remus, ignoring his son's rolled eyes.

Nathaniel nodded.

"Good," said Remus. "I'll get your trunk and Harry's," he said and disappeared into the room.

Nathaniel narrowed his eyes at his mother. "You're not going to embarrass me are you?"

"We'll try desperately hard not to," answered Hermione.

"Is Uncle Sirius going to be there?" asked Nathaniel.

"Nathaniel," said Hermione with a sigh. "You have asked that at least a hundred times. The answer still hasn't changed."

Nathaniel frowned and dug his hands into his pockets.

Hermione smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. "You know your Godfather is very busy. If he can get away I'm sure he will. But I don't want you to be too disappointed if he's not there."

Nathaniel nodded sedately and walked to the front door.

"What was that about?" asked Remus, emerging from the room.

"He was asking about Sirius," replied Hermione.

"Again?" asked Remus, annoyed.

"He adores him," said Hermione. "Both of the boys do."

"That much is obvious," said Remus. "I suppose if I was eleven I too would be fascinated by an adult who still acts like a kid and spoils me rotten."

"Remus," began Hermione warningly. "Don't start."

"Well it doesn't matter anyway. I doubt Sirius will show up today. We haven't even heard from him in over a month."

"I know," said Hermione quietly. It was true they hadn't heard from Sirius in over a month. It wasn't the longest they ever went without contact, but she still worried.

Remus saw the worry lines beginning to etch across her forehead. "He's fine," he told her. "He's always fine."

Hermione smiled. "I know you're right. I just wish he'd settle down."

"I don't think he ever will," said Remus. "Sirius isn't the type."

"If the right woman came along," she began, but she was interrupted by a screech from Nathaniel.

"Daaaaad, we're going to be late," he yelled.

"Let's get going before he walks to King's Cross Station by himself," said Remus.

Hermione laughed. "Harry," she called out. "Hurry up or Nathaniel will go without you."

They arrived at the station and made it through platform 9 ¾ with relative ease. The Hogwarts Express gleamed and the students and parents milled around, getting luggage onto the train and saying goodbye. Nathaniel and Harry could barely contain their excitement as they looked everywhere, taking everything in. Suddenly Nathaniel broke away from his parents and went tearing down the platform shouting, "Uncle Sirius, Uncle Sirius!"

Sirius jogged forward and swept Nathaniel into his arms. "I knew you'd be here," said Nathaniel excitedly. "I told mum and dad, but they said not to get my hopes up, but I knew."

"Of course I'm here," he answered. "Do you think I'd miss my godsons' first day to school?" He looked up and saw Hermione in front of him. "Hi, Hermione," he said, setting Nathaniel back on his feet.

Hermione had hurried after Nathaniel when she saw Sirius. Now she hugged him tightly. Then she smacked him hard on the shoulder. "You can't owl us to let us know you're alive every now and then?" she asked.

"Ow," yelped Sirius, rubbing his shoulder. "That hurt," he complained.

"Baby," she mouthed with a grin.

"Hey, Padfoot," greeted Remus, coming up behind his wife with Harry in tow.

"Moony," acknowledged Sirius. "Hey Harry," he said addressing his other godson. "What? No Hello?"

"Hi Uncle Sirius," said Harry quietly and he stepped forward and hugged his godfather.

"What's the matter with you?" Sirius asked, none too subtly.

"Nothing," said Harry defensively. He scanned the crowd, self-conscious of the attention they might be attracting. "Is my dad here yet?"

"Haven't seen him," answered Sirius. "But I just got here myself."

"Where were you this time, Uncle Sirius?" asked Nathaniel excitedly. Sirius's travels often took him to very exotic and exciting places. He could usually be counted on for a good story.

"Here and there," answered Sirius evasively. "Did you boys get your trunks on the train?" he asked.

"Not yet," answered Remus. "I was just about to. Boys, why don't you help me?" Remus led Nathaniel and Harry away.

"What's the matter with Harry?" Sirius asked Hermione once he was out of earshot.

Hermione sighed. "I think he's just nervous. He doesn't want to attract any unnecessary attention. He's been away from our world for so long that I think he's worried he won't be able to blend back in."

"James was an arse for taking him away," muttered Sirius.

"James did what he thought was best," answered Hermione. "They tried to kidnap Harry. I don't think James could take losing him, not after Lily."

Sirius shook his head, wanting to get off the distasteful conversation. "So, how have you been?"

"Good," she answered with a smile. "We've had Harry for the week so I'm exhausted. Of course, it doesn't help being…" she paused and blushed.

"Being what?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing," she said quickly. She had almost let it slip that she was pregnant.

"What?" asked Sirius slyly.

"Nothing," she insisted. "But what about you? What have you been up to?"

"A little of this and a little of that," he answered with a grin.

"Fine, don't tell me," she said, rolling her eyes. "Sirius Black, international man of mystery."

"I like that," he said with a wink. Then his eyes flicked over her shoulder and he broke out into a grin. "Prongs," he shouted. "Over here."

Hermione turned and saw James striding toward them.

"Hi," he called out. He gave Hermione a big hug and greeted his best friend. "Where's my son?" he asked eagerly.

"With Remus, getting the trunks loaded," answered Hermione.

"Thanks for watching him this week," said James.

"You know we love having him."

"Dad!" came an excited yell and they all turned to see Harry running toward them. James caught him in his arms and father and son hugged for a long time.

"Did you have a good time at Aunt Hermione's?" asked James.

Harry nodded enthusiastically and the worry that had been etched on his face earlier seemed to melt a bit. "We flew practically every day," he replied.

James raised his eyebrows at Hermione. "Hermione let you fly everyday?" he asked doubtfully.

"Remus let them fly everyday while I took a calming potion," answered Hermione. "Isn't that right, Remus," she said turning toward her husband. Remus however wasn't paying any attention to the conversation. "Remus?" she repeated.

Remus was staring at a group of people across the platform. Sirius stepped next to him, following his line of sight. "Oh my God," he murmured.

"Do you see her?" asked Remus.

Sirius nodded.

James and Hermione came up beside them with the boys in tow. "What's up?" asked James.

Then Hermione saw. It was her, her eleven-year-old self. She was talking quietly with her parents. "We better get the boys on the train," Hermione said quickly.

"What's Dad staring at?" asked Nathaniel.

"Nothing," said Hermione. She turned both boys away and kneeled to their level. "I'm going to miss you both," she said wrapping them both in her arms. They hugged her back and then hugged James, Sirius, and Remus in turn. "Now I want you both to behave," said Hermione. "I don't want to be getting any owls telling me you're up to no good."

"Yes, mum," said Nathaniel.

Harry just shared a grin with his father. Secretly James was hoping that his son would get into a little mischief.

"Both of you better get on the train," said Remus. The boys beamed at their family and then hurried to board the train. Tears trickled down the sides of Hermione's face and Remus put a comforting arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"I can't believe they're gone," said Hermione.

"Yeah," agreed James. "Time went by so fast," he said quietly. "I wish Lily could have seen him today."

Hermione reached out and took his hand. "Me too, James," she agreed.

"I'm glad he had you at least."

"Thank you," she replied softly.

"They'll be home for Christmas," said Remus with a sigh.

Hermione nodded. "You don't have to rush off, do you James?"

He shook his head.

"Will you come by the house for lunch?" she asked.

"Of course."

"You too, Sirius?" she asked turning, but Sirius wasn't next to them.

"Where'd he go?" she asked.

"Oh no," groaned Remus. He pointed across the platform. Sirius was standing next to the younger Hermione, helping her father load her trunks onto the Hogwarts Express.

"What is he doing?" gasped Hermione.

"Letting curiosity get the better of him," said Remus. "I'll go make sure he stays out of trouble."

"Remus, wait," said Hermione, but it was too late, he was already trotting over towards Sirius.

"They're both curious," said James.

"That much is obvious," said Hermione. "They should leave her alone."

"They're not hurting anything," said James in amusement. "Besides, she'll be intimately involved in all our lives soon enough."

"Don't remind me," said Hermione. "It's a terrible paradox. Not even I can quite work it out in my head."

"Did you tell Nathaniel?" asked James, curiously.

Hermione shook her head. "No, not yet. We thought about it, but we weren't sure what to say."

"Aren't you worried?" asked James.

"I worry about a lot. You'll have to be more specific," said Hermione.

"They're bright kids. Don't you think they might figure it out?"

Hermione shrugged. "Nathaniel doesn't know my real maiden name," she said and there are a few differences in our appearances."

"Such as?" asked James.

"My teeth," confessed Hermione. "I kinda had them fixed a bit in fourth year. And my hair is much different," she said patting her hair self consciously. And it was different. She wore it short and straighter now. "I suspect we'll have to tell both boys when they come home for Christmas, but I wanted to give them a chance to get to know her without any preconceived notions. His friendship meant everything to me. I can't deprive her of it."

Sirius and Remus rejoined James and Hermione.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the two men. "You're both incorrigible."

"She certainly is an opinionated little thing," remarked Sirius.

Remus laughed. "She was just perfect."

Hermione grinned and kissed him fully on the mouth. "I love you," she said.

He grinned at her and took her hand. "Shall we head home?"

She nodded. "Coming James, Sirius?"

Later that night, after James and Sirius had left, Hermione and Remus were in bed talking. Hermione's head was on Remus's shoulder and she was absentmindedly stroking his chest lightly. "I need to tell you something, Remus," began Hermione.

"Hmm," he murmured. His eyes were closed and he was nearing sleep.

"Do you remember what you said last night about having some time to ourselves?" she asked.

"Mm Hm," he replied sleepily.

"Yes, well I think we're going to have to put that off for a little while."

"Okay," he mumbled and then he yawned.

"For another eleven or so years," she continued, hoping he would get her point.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his head clearing a bit from his sleepy fog.

She pushed herself up so she was staring into his eyes. "I'm going to have another baby, Remus," she said softly.

Remus stared back at her, his mouth open slightly. Then he swallowed convulsively. "A baby?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes," she confirmed. "Due around February."

Remus sat up, pulling her up with him. "You're having a baby?" he repeated.

She nodded again. "A girl, according to the Healer who examined me. I had them do a full examination, including blood work. There's no trace of the lycanthropy in her." Remus didn't say anything for so long that Hermione grew worried. "Are you disappointed?" she asked, feeling a small pain tighten around her heart.

Remus shook his head quickly. "No, I… I just. Oh baby," he exhaled and pushed her back into the bed and covered her mouth with his. Hermione laughed softly and stroked her husband's face. Remus cradled his wife's head with one hand and placed his other hand on her stomach. "You're giving me another baby," he smiled.

"Yes," she whispered.

"A perfect little girl who will be just like you," he sighed.

"So you're happy then?" she asked.

He nodded and she could see his eyes were wet with unshed tears. "So happy," he said kissing her deeply. "Happier than I ever thought I deserved to be."

"There isn't enough happiness in the world to give you what you deserve, my love," said Hermione.

Remus kissed her again. "And I know the perfect name," he said.

Hermione looked at him curiously.

"Lily Hermione Lupin," he said.

Hermione smiled. "Yes, that's perfect."

THE END

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A/N: Okay, sorry that took sooooo long, but I was really agonizing over it for some reason. Nothing seemed right. Everything I wrote seemed to bring up more questions. Hopefully this satisfies everyone.

I was totally thrilled to find out that the story was nominated for an award. To whoever nominated it, I would like to say thank you. It really made my day. If anyone would like to vote for the story please go to magical-worlds.us/multifaceted.


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